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researchers noticed a great deal of activity in the areas of the brain devoted to reward
and pleasure.
This suggests that its not just a lack of empathy thats the problem. Some bullies may
actually derive pleasure out of seeing other peoples pain.
4. Bullies lack the ability to self-regulate emotions
The same researchers who conducted the brain scan study made another surprising
discovery: the parts of the bullies brains that allows them to self-regulate their emotions
were inactive.
This suggests that bullies simply dont have a way to control their anger and frustration,
which may result in severe overreactions to small provocations.
You also cover Peer Pressure which is being driven more by childrens need to seem
popular. How can a parent help their children with this?
We define peer pressure as, following other peoples goals for you. This comes when
children do not know their own values, and, in essence, what they stand for. These
values need to be communicated clearly by parents and by schools because otherwise,
the media will provide those goals for children. And this is what is happening now.
Children are being sent subtle and not to subtle messages about the importance of
popularity, of having the latest of everything, of engaging in extreme and risky
behaviors as a way of getting noticed and appreciated by others, and of resolving
conflicts through angry words and violent acts.
Parents need to send clear messages about what they believe is the right way to
behave with other people, in the home, in the community, and in school. And schools
also need to be clear about the positive behavior and character expectations they have
of all children. Children may seem to overtly rebel against this structure but in reality,
the vast majority appreciates it and feels comforted by having clear standards and
knowing that adults actually care about and will enforce them. This also prevents some
of the vigilante behavior we see in bullying. At times, kids escalate in the hope of
getting the adults around them to act like adult and assert proper limits and boundaries.
Adults, for their part, must be clear about the dangers of bullying and not put forward
boys will be boys and related messages that condone mistreatment of others.