A TICKLING OF EARS

When seeking counsel from others, we must resist the temptation to only hear what
we want to hear.
By Tony Woodlief

MARCH 01, 2015

Weve all seen it happen, and some of us have probably done it. It works like this: I
have a spiritual dilemma, quite possibly of my own making. Maybe I cant let go of
my anger at someone, or perhaps Im in the grip of a desire to leave my spouse.
Perhaps I just want to avoid helping someone who needs me. Whatever my urge, I tell
myself that my circumstances are so complicated and unique that most people wont
be able to understand.
Then I seek counsel, because thats what good Christians are supposed to do in times
of trouble. Where there is no guidance the people fall, but in abundance of
counselors there is victory (Prov. 11:14). Only in my case, I need an abundance of
counselors not so I can draw on their accumulated wisdom, but because Im shopping
for the one who will tell me what I want to hear.
Maybe the first person I go to tells me, for example, that I need to set aside my anger
or lust and submit to Gods will for my life. Obviously, he doesnt understand my
special circumstances. So I find another counselor. If he tells me the same thing, I find
another, and another. I keep searching until I find that elder or preacher or psychiatrist
who finally sees me for the special snowflake that I am. Perhaps this someone gives
me soothing words and doesnt ask hard questions about the parts of the story Im
leaving out. This counselor cares enough about my tender feelings not to quote me
tough old Bible sayings like Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on
your own understanding (Prov. 3:5), or The fear of the Lord is the beginning of
wisdom (9:10).
Somehow I dont think this is what the Lord means when He extols the benefits of an
abundance of counselors. But Ive certainly done it, and Ive seen others do it, often
to our own peril. We jump from counselor to counselormaybe even church to
churchbecause were trying to find someone who will listen uncritically to our onesided story and tell us what we long to hear: Its not your fault.

It should always be a
warning sign when we
demand that God be
on our side rather than ask
Him to show us how to be
on His.
In my case, at least, the times Ive most wanted to hear its not my fault are when my
conscience convicts me otherwise. Of course thats not to say troubles are always our
fault, or that its wrong to seek compassion. But this heart attitude, the sense of
shopping for wisdom that pleases uswell, even if it doesnt lead to self-delusion, its
unlikely to lead us toward God. We draw closer to God only on His terms, not ours.
I get my heart into such a state, 19th-century missionary George Mller explained
about his prayers, that it has no will of its own in regard to any particular matter.
Mller established schools and orphanages that sustained tens of thousands of
children, and he credited God for all of it. He became renowned for the consistency
and faith of his prayer life.
As one story goes, an orphanage Mller was overseeing had run out of food. So he sat
the children down at the breakfast table and offered a prayer of thanks for the meal he
trusted God would provide. As his prayer ended, there was a knock at the door. A local
baker felt compelled to come by and offer bread. Almost simultaneously, a milkmans
cart broke down in front of their building, and so he offered them milk. The children
received breakfast, just as Mller had been confident they would.
Therefore I say to you, all things for which you pray and ask, believe that you have
received them, and they will be granted you (Mark 11:24). George Mller lived out
this verse. It wasnt that he prayed better and therefore got more of what he wanted

from God. Mller didnt have worthier prayers; he had a more submissive heart. Ask,
and it will be given to you, said our Lord Jesus Christ (Matt. 7:7), but He also said to
the Father, Yet not My will, but Yours be done (Luke 22:42). The two are
inseparableour prayers are answered when our hearts are aligned with the heart of
God.
Compare this state of spiritual strength to the heart of the counsel shopper. This person
doesnt seek Gods will; indeed, the entire reason he jumps from counselor to
counselor is because his heart is already set on what it wants. Yet the persons heart
remains so insecureand his conscience so unsettledthat this shopper needs
affirmation. He doesnt seek to align his heart to the will of God; rather, he wants
someone to tell him that God is on his side.
It should always be a warning sign when, in our heart of hearts, we demand that God
be on our side rather than ask Him to show us how to be on His side. We often know,
deep down, when were doing it, but the temptation is so very strong to find a
sympathetic ear, an isolated Bible verse in support of our point of view, or a Christian
book that seems to agree with us.
And so when our hearts are unsettled, perhaps we should follow George Mllers lead.
Let us pray first that God will give us the strength to embrace His will, regardless of
the outcome. Only then can we trust ourselves to venture forth to wise brethren in the
communities where God has placed us. It is then that our hearts are softened to the
promptings of the Holy Spirit. And we can read Scripture with an eye for what it
speaks to us rather than what we want it to say.
The Lord in His great mercy has indeed given each of us an abundance of counsel: the
Bible, the teachings of mighty Christians who lived before us and those still among
us, andmost of allthe Holy Spirit Himself. Can we humble our hearts long
enough to listen?