Crit Crim (2009) 17:93108

DOI 10.1007/s10612-009-9074-z

Starving Is the Most Fun a Girl Can Have:

The Pro-Ana Subculture as Edgework
Jeannine A. Gailey

Published online: 25 March 2009

Springer Science+Business Media B.V. 2009

Abstract The media have been focusing on websites that are pro-anorexic to illustrate
the pervasiveness of eating disorders in the US. This study focuses on the narratives of
women who participate in pro-ana sites using Lyngs (Am J Sociol 95:851886, 1990)
concept of edgework. Results indicate that women struggle with feelings of loss of control
and through various skills are able to resume control. These data point to the intense
emotive reactions fasting elicits, reactions which both reinforce and provide motivation to
remain in the subculture. Findings contribute to the literature by focusing on womens
edgework and demonstrating the similarities between men and women edgeworkers.

Introduction
The media have focused a tremendous amount of attention on websites that are proanorexic (pro-ana) or pro-eating disorder (Boyles 2001; Reaves 2001; Reuters 2007).
The destructive nature of pro-ana websites were even featured as the main story in the hit
television show Boston Legal. The coverage has centered on the harmful effects of eating
disorders and how these particular websites or online communities are allegedly recruiting
and, in essence, killing young girls by providing them with the knowledge necessary to
develop a successful eating disorder (Reaves 2001). I do not deny the fact that eating
disorders are dangerous and potentially deadly; however, I argue that the focus on websites
as the cause of eating disorders and poor body image is misplaced. In this manuscript, I
focus on the narratives of young women who maintain and participate in pro-ana sites, and
on those who create online profiles as a means of creating community. Using a cultural
criminological framework, specifically Lyngs (1990) concept of edgework, I examine
the pro-ana subculture and attempt to subvert the predominate understandings of such
websites and online communities. The edgework literature to date has largely ignored
J. A. Gailey (&)
Department of Sociology, Criminal Justice, and Anthropology, Texas Christian University, Fort Worth,
TX 76129, USA
e-mail: j.gailey@tcu.edu

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women (Miller 1991; for two exceptions see Lois 2001; Rajah 2007). This study, therefore,
offers an important contribution to the larger body of work on voluntary risk-taking by
showing that women can and do participate in edgework.
Pro-Ana Websites and Profiles as Subcultures
Subcultures consist of groups of people who are collectively organized in a network of
symbols, rituals, and shared meanings. The pro-ana community is no different; the young
women are bound together by specialized symbols, images, and language. Cultural
criminology is an appropriate framework for understanding such a subculture because, as
Ferrell (1999, p. 403) notes:
bringing a postmodern sensibility to their understanding of deviant and criminal
subcultures, cultural criminologists argue that such subcultures incorporateindeed,
are defined byelaborate conventions of argot, appearance, aesthetics, and stylized
presentation of self and thus operate as repositories of collective meaning and representation for their members.
In addition, various subcultures (e.g., graffiti artists and computer hackers) rely on a
mediated world that dislocates communication, separates meaning, and forces the
subculture to be defined less by one-on-one interaction and more by symbolic codes
(Ferrell 1999, 1998a; Gelder and Thornton 1997). The Internet is one such place, offering
anonymity for young women who face severe isolation and stigma from society, their
families, and friends, as well as a public space to share ideas, feelings, art, poems, support,
and friendships.
The Internet offers a form of postmodern space for the formation of new communities,
defined by Rheingold (1993, p. 5) as social aggregations that emerge from the Net when
enough people carry on those public discussions long enough, with sufficient human
feeling, to form webs of personal relationships in cyberspace. Therefore, cyberspace
challenges traditional views of identity and community, with some suggesting that the
Internet is drastically shifting our conceptions and the nature of communities (Adler and
Adler 2008; Quinn and Forsyth 2005).
Previous Research
Most empirical research on eating disorders comes from the medical community or psychology and focuses largely on the etiology and treatment, with an emphasis on fixing
young women who suffer from a form of mental illness. The medical discourse, however,
ignores the cultural and societal influences of disordered eating (McLorg and Taub 1987).
Recently feminists have challenged the medical model by demonstrating how the medicalization of eating disorders plays into patriarchical standards of health and ignores the
cultural pressures on women to achieve normative beauty standards (Bordo 1993; HesseBiber 2007; Malson 1998; Rich 2006).
Wilson et al. (2006) studied adolescents eating disorders and internet usage. Specifically, they examined the associations between pro-eating disorder web site use, eating
disorder severity, and quality of life. They found that pro-eating disorder users spent less
time on their schoolwork and their disordered eating lasted longer. In addition, 96 percent
of those with diagnosed eating disorders who visited these sites learned new techniques and
46 percent who visited sites devoted to recovery learned new weight loss tips. These
findings indicate that pro-eating disorder internet use may have an impact on the quality of

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life of users. However, this study is similar to other research on disordered eating in that it
focuses on individual ramifications and ignores cultural pressures that women face.
Hesse-Biber (2007) focuses on cultural and societal explanations for the increase in
eating disorders among women in the US. She argues that young women are invested in
thinness with the same intensity and participation as religious cult members, except that
they do not have a single leader; instead they succumb to the economic, cultural forces that
define and value women in terms of their physical appearance. She contends that this cult
of thinness is omnipresent in the US and estimates of the prevalence indicate she may be
right. Approximately 510 billion women and girls suffer from disordered eating
(Thompson and Kinder 2003) and national surveys indicate that about half of US women
currently engage in weight-loss behaviors (Neumark-Sztainer et al. 2000).
However, to explain disordered eating from a primarily biological, psychological, or
even sociological viewpoint is simplifying the issue and assumes that everyone who has an
eating disorder is the same. For this reason, I contend that the best way to begin to
understand the lives of young women who self-identify as having an eating disorder is to
immerse oneself in the culture and allow the womens stories to paint the picture.
Following Dias (2003) work, I explore the narratives of women who create, visit, and
participate in pro-ana websites or communities. Dias (2003, p. 31) reportedly listened to
the womens experiences of anorexia and the rationale for inhabiting these spaces. I take
her research one-step further; I listen to the womens experiences, draw from their narratives, and attempt to understand what they gain from using the internet as a medium for
self-exploration and confession. I examine how the Internet has facilitated the construction
of a subculture, specifically one where women participate in a type of edgework (Lyng
1990).
Edgework
According to Lyng (1990, p. 857), edgework includes activities that involve a clearly
observable threat to ones physical or mental well being or ones sense of an ordered
existence. He argues that the concept has broad application, including any and all
behaviors where the actor seeks to go beyond the edge or test the limits between two
physical or mental states, sanity versus insanity, consciousness versus unconsciousness, or
an ordered environment versus a disordered environment (pp. 857858). There are three
central components to edgework: activity, skill, and sensation.
Lyng (1990) describes edgework as a choice where one fulfills unmet needs. Therefore,
edgework provides individuals with a sense of control over their lives and environment
while they push themselves to their physical and mental limits. In order to push oneself to
the edge, skills are required; specifically, the ability to maintain control of a situation that
verges on chaos is of the utmost importance (p. 871). Discovering the perfect limit is found
through the exercise of particular skills. In fact, edgeworkers regard the opportunity for the
development and use of skills as the most valuable aspect of the experience. One has to be
good to succeed; therefore, edgework should not be confused with thrill-seeking because
thrill-seeking behaviors do not require the use of skills. At the psychological level, surviving on the edge leads to feelings of omnipotence and exhilaration (Lois 2001; Lyng
1990). The acts are often described as eliciting erotic feelings and allow the edgeworker to
experience sensations that are not typical in day-to-day life. The intense emotions one
experiences while negotiating the edge successfully motivate one to continue to engage in
edgework. Edgeworkers view their behaviors as therapeutic and a rational response to a
sense of helplessness in the force of environmental threats.

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Lyng (2005) argues that edgework is a paradox because on one hand edgework is a vehicle
that can free one of the conditions that stifle the human spirit, specifically the overpowering
control and social regulation of modern life. On the other hand, edgework exemplifies risktaking propensities and skills that are in demand in the institutional structures of society.
Therefore, people may seek out risky experiences in an attempt to free themselves from
societal constraints, all the while using the human capital they gain from their experiences to
navigate the challenges present in society, which contributes to its maintenance.
The literature on edgework and voluntary risk-taking has focused on men because it has
been assumed that men are more likely to participate in risky behaviors (Miller 1991). Lois
(2001) is one exception because she examined both men and women rescue workers. She
found that women do participate in edgework; however, she noted the differences in how
men and women participate, specifically by focusing on their preparation and emotions
during and after rescue missions.
Rajah (2007) extends the edgework model by applying it to a study of oppressive
intimate relationships. Rajah studies drug-using, inner city, minority women and argues
that edgework represents a mode of resistance to patriarchical privilege and control. She
argues that women involved in abusive relationships learn skills to help them survive or
avoid abuse, constantly skating the line between safety and danger while receiving the
traditional risks and rewards that are associated with the edgework model. Her research is
certainly a step in the right direction because she addresses an intersection of race, class,
and gender that has largely been overlooked in the edgework literature (Miller 1991).
A comparison of Loiss (2001) and Rajahs (2007) edgeworkers indicates that social
class largely predicts the type of edgework one participates in. For instance, Loiss
edgeworkers are middle class men and women who engage in edgework during their
leisure time as an escape from boredom. In contrast, for marginalized individuals edgework is construed in a different context. While it does offer a similar array of affective and
visceral rewards, socially marginalized individuals must negotiate a space away from the
edge as a part of their everyday lives. Therefore, while Rajahs (2007) edgeworkers voluntarily play with this boundary, through edgework, they do so as a part of the on-going
negotiation of their everyday survival.
Cultural criminologists (Ferrell 1998b; Lyng 2005, 1990), who have dominated edgework research, utilize verstehen-oriented methodologies to record the experiences which
shape participation and membership in deviant subcultures. Through such methods they
find that intense and ritualized moments of pleasure and euphoria define the experience of
subcultural membership and motivate continued participation.
Significantly for a sociology of these subcultural practices, research shows that
experiences of edgework and adrenaline exist as collectively constructed endeavors,
encased with shared vocabularies of motive and meaning (Ferrell 1999, p. 404).
Edgework experiences not only suggest a sociology of the body and emotions, and further
verstehen-oriented investigations of deviant subcultures as influentially established fields,
they also reveal the ways in which collective intensities of experience, like collective
conventions of style, construct shared subcultural meaning (Ferrell 1999, p. 404).

Method
I employed virtual ethnographic methods, specifically covert participant observation, to
understand the online subculture of pro-ana sites and individuals online profiles. As

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Ferrell and Hamm (1998, p. 8) state, effective field research demands that the researcher
be submerged in the situated logic and emotion of the deviance. Ferrell and Hamm argue
that going into the field is the only way one can understand deviant behavior as its own
internal symbolism and logic (p. 10).
The ethics involved in internet research is a contentious topic. Since the sites are
accessible to the public, I was not required to obtain informed consent. I obtained institutional review board approval from my university and the present research was considered
to have minimal, if any, risk to those I was observing. I have taken special precautions to
protect the identities of the women involved. I removed all names and pseudonyms from
the narratives I present. I did not ask participants any direct questions nor did I interact
with them. I am careful to report only short portions of quotes or other information from
the womens pages so that it cannot be traced to the writers profiles through a web search.
I have also chosen to conceal web links when referencing my sources to further protect the
womens identities (see Dias 2003). However, I did participate by creating profiles on
various sites so that I could fully immerse myself in the pro-ana subculture. While many of
the profiles, comments, or blogs clearly specified the age and sex of those I was observing,
I cannot report demographic characteristics with any certainty because of the anonymity
the Internet provides. According to the World Almanac and Book of Facts (2003), US.
Internet users are largely Caucasian or Asian American, educated, middle class and
younger than 50 years of age. Therefore, we can speculate that users on sites such as these
are probably white women, under approximately 40 years of age, and middle class. Many
are probably high school or college students because the use of such sites requires that one
has the time and resources available to spend a significant amount of time on the internet.
One of the advantages of the Internet is the anonymity that it grants both the researcher
and participant. Therefore, I was able to peruse numerous websites and profiles on sites
like Friendster, MySpace, and Xanga, to name a few. I used snowball sampling to view and
record information from pages that young women created. Specifically, I analyzed 88
online profiles and 25 websites. In the feminist tradition (Sprague 2005), I recorded my
feelings, reactions, and emotions to the pages I viewed while collecting information from
blogs, posts, bulletins, discussion forums, comments, and profiles.
I went through several transformations as I searched for understanding about how these
young women create community, symbols, and meaning via the Internet. Upon my discovery of these sites, I was first alarmed and troubled. I felt the profiles and web pages
were morally wrong and experienced concerns over the ease of accessibility to young girls.
In retrospect, I realize that my initial reaction was probably shaped by the media attention
given to such sites. After spending several months exploring pages and reading blogs, I
began to have a greater understanding of what drew young women to sites such as these. I
also had to limit how much time I spent viewing and reading their blogs, comments, and
posts because I too found myself becoming increasingly fixated on my own eating and
exercising habits. I should mention that I have always had these tendencies, which probably explains my interest, so I do not think the research caused it. However, I do think that
staring at images of emaciated models for several hours a night and reading about how
awful it is to be fat does influence one who already has disordered eating tendencies.
Therefore, I took breaks, recorded, and discussed my feelings with several close friends
and colleagues and decided that in order to overcome the negative reactions I experienced
with my own eating I had to limit the amount of time I spent reading and collecting
information each week.
Following the principles of grounded theory (Glaser and Strauss 1967), I studied these
data searching for patterns of members edgework experiences. As patterns emerged, I

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restructured my focus to draw out further conceptual distinctions. Some of the data supported my working analysis, while others countered it. I used all of the evidence to further
refine my analytical model accordingly, continuing the process until the data yielded no
new conceptual patterns (i.e., until a point of theoretical saturation was reached) (Glaser
and Strauss 1967).
During my observation period of slightly over one year, various themes and patterns
materialize. As I examined blogs, bulletins, posts, comments, forums, and profiles I coded
these data into manageable content categories. The content categories that emerged included
any mention of secrets, skills, control, depression, fear, loneliness, perfectionism, rationalization, planning, pain, self-hatred, and sensations or emotional reactions. Therefore,
whenever any of the above concepts were mentioned I coded the text accordingly. As the
analysis and coding progressed, it became clear that some of the above concepts were used
together (e.g., fear and depression or self-hatred, pain, and perfection) and some occurred
much more frequently than others. I had to tease out the subtle distinctions to determine which
themes were the most inclusive. All of the women indicated that they felt disgusted by their
bodies, and because of this self-loathing they became determined to achieve the perfect
body. Their self-hatred led to feelings of loneliness, fear, and depression. The only reprieve
from these feelings, at least in their words, was to take control, utilize their skills to obtain
weight loss, rationalize their behavior, and reinforce their dedication to weight loss by discussing how elated they felt when they came closer to achieving perfection and disgust
when they failed. Therefore, the two driving forces of self-hatred and desired perfection are
evident in each of the following thematic categories discussed below.

Results
These data indicate that the women involved in the pro-ana subculture often struggle with
bringing order out of their chaotic lives. They focus on various skills, such as being
mentally strong and inviting pain, which in turn allows them to maintain a sense of control.
Many also struggle with (1) whether eating disorders are a lifestyle and choice or a disease
and (2) how to keep that lifestyle a secret even though they display it publicly, via the
internet. These data provide plenty of examples of the emotional highs and lows they
experience which both reinforce and provide motivation to remain immersed in the subculture. The data are presented by the various larger themes and sub-themes mentioned
above in order to illustrate how these women negotiate the edge, both mentally and
physically. The thematic categories are not mutually exclusive; there are various instances
where the women mention control and skills in the same sentence or paragraph. All of the
thematic category headings are quotes from the pro-ana websites or online profiles.
God Gave Us Control. Some of Us Know How to Use It, Others Dont
By far the largest theme apparent in these data was the tension between control and loss of
control. The women, in essence, are trying to find a way to gain control over their
reportedly chaotic lives. One young woman indicated, This is everything I can control.
The rest of my life is out of my hands. I can stay strong and reach my goals for perfection.
Dont try and stop me Ill only work harder. Another woman introduced herself on her
profile page by writing, The word is control. Thats my ultimateto have control. She
continues in another section, Starving is an example of excellent will power. Another
woman references an online video in the about me section of her profile:

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I believe in Control, the only force mighty enough to bring order to the chaos that
is my world. I believe that I am the most vile, worthless and useless person ever to
have existed on the planet, and that I am totally unworthy of anyones time and
attention. I believe that other people who tell me differently are idiots. If they
could see how I really am, then they would hate me almost as much as I do. I
believe in perfection and strive to attain it. I believe in salvation through trying just
a bit harder than I did yesterday. I believe in bathroom scales as an indicator of my
daily successes and failures. I believe in hell, because I sometimes think that I am
living in it.
As indicated by the above quotations, the women are not only seeking control, but feel that
it is through eating, or lack thereof, that they can achieve control. Others indicate that when
they lose control the only way to bring it back is to maintain a successful fast. It is
interesting that many of the women who fast also reportedly binge and sometimes purge,
but for an anorexic, binging is the loss of control and the purge serves as a form of
punishment, purification, and ritual. One woman writes in her blog about a binge:
I had the morning off and didnt eat anything then all of a sudden I just ate loads. I
was even stealing my housemates food seeing as I keep hardly anything in the house.
I felt really bad and panicky. I had to get out of the house, so I went into [the]
university and tried to throw up in the toilet but I just couldnt. I just ended up crying
in the cubicle. This is why I disgust myself.
Another woman who was participating in a discussion forum online mentioned a similar
problem of losing control and eating everything in sight. She compares the binge to a
blackout, similar to something one might experience from alcohol intoxication:
So yesterday was a day that I lost all control!! I dont know what happened to me but
I just couldnt stop eatingand the worst part was I didnt care. It was like, I blacked
out while I was eating. If you asked me what I ate, I couldnt remember but I know I
ate something. And now the worst part is todayI got on the scale this morning and
I was two lbs heavier!! But today I am taking back controlI have to resist temptation. Knowing that I have the control to make myself what I want to be is the best
feeling ever! I will reach my goal and I will be perfect!
The determination and motivation to bring order to what they feel is completely unordered
is a driving force in their immersion in the subculture. The internet provides these young
women with an outlet, somewhere to vent and share moments of triumph and disaster. One
feature that is paramount to maintaining control, or regaining control if it is lost, is to have
the necessary skills to achieve said goals.
Thin Is a SkillYou Never Have Dreams Without the Tools to Attain Them
Many of the women believe that acquiring thinness is a skill, a skill they can work on,
which is another advantage of membership in the subculture. The subculture provides a
place for them to post tips, tricks, and share stories of success. As Lyng (1990) notes,
edgeworkers spend more time preparing than actually doing, they use methodical or
ritualistic manners but must also have the mental and physical ability to employ the
behavior. The womens narratives indicate that planning how they will achieve perfection and weight loss is vital. Blogs and bulletins are frequently used to share plans or ask
for advice:

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Things I do: Keep moving all the time, Drink water and only water, Stay POSTIVE,
Walk everywhere, Go on a pro-ana site everyday, Do not eat past 6 P.M., Eat tiny
amounts OR nothing, and Stay happy.
Women also use their blogs as updates or planners where they report their plan for the next
day or week:
Plan for 12.14.06One diet coke can size, two gallons of water and that is it. Work
out; two hundred crunches and a mile walk. I am also going to go in to work at
dinnertime and pick up a shift so my mom cant make me eat then spend the night at
my boyfriends so I have no one that will make me eatWish me luck!
Some of the profiles have banners that move across the screen repeatedly stating, blessed
are the starved, for they shall teach us not to want. Similarly, another banner that appears
frequently on profiles is remeasure, reweigh, try harder.
Young women who participate in the pro-ana subculture believe that people who are
thin or those who succeed at anorexia are special and possess superior control and skills,
unlike the rest of society. The following three quotes are repeated across dozens of profiles
and listed as motivation, or thinspiration, on several of the pro-ana websites, When it
comes to losing weight, those who can do; those that cant, make excuses. Success
wont just come to youit has to be met at least half way. Success is the reward for
accomplishment. Nothing splendid had ever been achieved except by those who dared
believe that something inside of them was superior to circumstance. Successful anorexia
is maintaining ones lowest goal weight (Body Mass Index usually less than 17), while
avoiding hospitalization, death, or therapy. Just as Lyngs (1990) edgeworkers reported,
failure, death or injury is a sign that the person did not possess the appropriate skills
necessary to negotiate the edge. Young women often post thinspiration, pictures of
emaciated models and actors on their friends pages and remind them to stay strong,
think thin. One must be strong because starving is a painful experience.
Pain Is Only as Real as You Allow It to Be
Along with control and skills comes an acceptance and appreciation of the pain and
suffering that comes from achieving perfection. One woman writes:
The pain is necessary, especially the pain of hunger. It reassures you that you are
strong, can withstand anything. You can learn to love anything, I think, if you need to
badly enough. I trained myself to enjoy feeling hungry. If my stomach contracts, or I
wake up feeling nauseated, or Im light-headed or have a hunger headache, or better
yet, all of the above, it means Im getting thinner, so it feels good. I feel strong, on
top of myself, in control. There is no TRY. There is only DO!
Pain is a means to an end for many of these women, and they are willing and often invite
tremendous suffering. The following quote is an illustration of this mentality:
I dont care if it hurts, I want to have control, I want a perfect body, I want a perfect
soul. but it is worth itto be thinit is worth it. The pain that you feel after, the
wrenching pain that makes you want to curl up and sleepor die.
Another woman expresses a similar feeling in her blog:
Giving in to food shows weakness, be strong and you will be better than everyone
else. I refuse to give in to the pathetic whimpers my body makes. I refuse to accept

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its supposed limitations. I will cross every line it tries to draw. I refuse to live in a
body that disgusts me. I refuse to pretend that I like being fat.
As indicated by the above quotes, pushing oneself to the edge is mandatory to achieve the
ultimate success of being thin. In the about me section of a different womans profile she
introduces herself by stating:
My name might as not well be important right now and wont be until I reach my
goal of being so small that no one will see me anymore. I want to be pretty, not dead,
but right now I dont know how much more I can physically push myself.
Again, it becomes clear that the idea of pain is not something they run from but rather
embrace. While at times they may question how much further they can go, or how strong
they are, they usually return and decide that it is worth it and that the sacrifice of some pain
is worth the pay offbeing thin. The pain they experience only exists because they are
successfully starving; therefore, the pain serves as a reinforcement and a reminder that they
are achieving their goal (i.e., thinness) of effectively negotiating the edge.
Its a Choice. This is Not a Diet or DiseaseIts a Lifestyle.
As mentioned previously, many women argue that anorexia is a choice, while others
contend that it is a disease and they are victims. Its the fact that its hard that makes it
great. If it were easy, everyone would do it. One of the pro-ana websites has this statement listed as motivation, as do many of the women who create profiles. Not only does this
quote illustrate how the pro-ana subculture is a type of edgework, it also indicates that
eating disorders are, in part, conscious decisions that are made because one would rather be
thin than fat. One woman, who is older than most (reportedly in her mid 40s), reports that
anorexia is much more like a habit, similar to smoking or drinking, except those bad habits
are socially acceptable. She writes:
My bad habit is that I like to starve myself from time to time. The doctors say it must
be a psychological problem. Perhaps I should be looking at what I am going through
when Im depriving myself of food.
Another young woman reminds people who view her page, Anorexia is not a disease.
Anorexia is not a game. Anorexia is a skill, perfected only by a few. The chosen, the pure,
the flawless. In other words, anorexia is something that only a select few can achieve.
Similar to Lyngs (1990) skydivers, to be able to take oneself to the edge and survive is a
skill that not everyone possesses. One must have an almost innate sense of how to negotiate
life and death on the edge. Other women state they recognize that starving themselves is
not healthy but they compare it to unhealthy eating habits and decide that if they are going
to be unhealthy they would rather be unhealthy from starving than unhealthy from
overeating junk food. A young woman writes in her blog:
I have my ambitions and goals and I wanna stick to them. Im not sick. I may be
unhealthy but I would rather be unhealthy skinny than unhealthy fat; eating a bag of
chips is worse than eating nothing whatsoever.
Not all of the women, however, share the views expressed above and it is entirely
possible that referring to eating disorders as choices serves as a rationalization or vocabulary of motive (Mills 1940). One young woman writes about the experiences she has had
with her eating disorder and states, Im an innocent victimwhat did I do to deserve

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this? Another introduces herself to the online community by stating, I do think that an
eating disorder is an illness and I dont encourage people to try to get one. Its not
something that you try to get, it just kinda happens. Therefore, some women feel that they
are victims of anorexia or bulimia. These data do not allow me to discern if the victim role
is one they have adopted because of the stigma and medicalization of eating disorders or if
they truly feel they have no control over their eating issues. It is entirely possible that the
victim role is a stage in the process of disordered eating. It is an interesting paradox if they
believe their disordered eating is out of their control, but they rely on it as the one thing
in their lives that they can control, like a metaphor for reality, they lose control only to
take control (Hayward and Young 2004, p. 268).
Many of the women who participate in the online pro-ana subculture anthropomorphize
both disorders, referring to anorexia as Ana and bulimia as Mia. It is common to find
letters or poems written to Ana or Mia professing their commitment, love, hate and so
forth. For example, one young woman wrote a bulletin titled, I hate you Ana for doing
this to me. Leave me alone! There are also several poems and letters circulating that are
supposedly from Ana or Mia, stating things like, Im youre only friend Ill make you
beautiful and so on. Ana and Mia in various poems and letters remind the women to
keep your EDs secret because if your family finds out you will be forced into treatment
and get fat. Because of this stigmatization and potential of forced hospitalization the
women become increasingly isolated. Also, if the women die or are forced into treatment
then they have failed; failure is not an option for most, because perfection is the goal.
My Dirty Little Secret
Most of the women stated that they retreat to the internet, a public domain, because it
provides them with anonymity and an outlet. Similar to other marginalized subcultures,
individual and group style exists as stigmata, welcoming outside surveillance and control,
but at the same time they view it with admiration and resistance made all the more
meaningful by its enduring insubordination of outside influence (Hebdige 1988). Most
reportedly not only visit pro-ana sites and participate in chats or online discussion boards,
but also create profiles on sites created to network and share friends. The pro-ana
profiles are their second ones; in other words, they have their real profiles on various
sites in addition to their pro-ana pages. They inform visitors to their pages that, This is my
new ED page so I guess Ill see how it works out, if anyone I know sees this Ill be
mortified but I guess a lot of you feel the same way Or they write that they created
profiles so they could meet other ED people and not have my friends knowing my identity
or my problems. I would rather keep it a secret, its frankly safer this way as Im sure you
all know and appreciate. One woman went a bit further:
This is my secret profile. When I was in high school, I was ana with mia tendencies. I am falling back into that lifestyle. I would love support from others who
are pro-ana/mia as well! Im too fat right now for anyone to know I have a problem,
but once they start suspecting it I will be so good at hiding it, this is my second time
round with this.
Therefore, its not just their participation in the online subculture that is clandestine,
they are also trying to keep their eating disorder a secret from family and friends, largely
because of the stigma, misunderstanding, and fear associated with someone finding out
they may be forced into treatment, thereby unsuccessfully negotiating the edge. One new
member indicated:

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I keep secrets well; Ive kept mine from people for years, but now seems the right
time to reach out to others. I used to be active in tons of sports (i.e. soccer and
lacrosse) but its too hard to still participate and spend time keeping thin, it scares me
that it might one day turn out that way for dancing but my eating disorder is the only
thing that drives me to live.
The following is a comment one woman left for another woman who blogged about her
fears of going to therapy:
It always seems hard. Sometimes you just want to yell out to everyone oh by the
fucking way, Im sick as hell. Ive had an eating disorder for I dont even know how
longdo you still love me now? Then other times, its so private, only you can know
whats going on. If someone asks youwhy are you so skinny, blah, blah, blah, you
just want to tell them to fuck of[f]. Maybe you just have a fast metabolism. You think
that its so private. Like, you wouldnt go into public nakedand ana and mia, its all
what you are underneath and none of us know how to show it, because its just like
wearing nothing, no protection, no shield to catch the thoughts of others. When they
dont know, youre just skinny, whateverwhen they do know the real you. Thats
when they can pass those judgments and thats what were all hiding fromwhat they
might really think.
It is clear that one of the biggest fears these young women experience is ridicule and
stigmatization from larger society and loved ones. It is ironic that a public space has
provided them with protection and anonymity. Another woman with an online profile
opens her profile about me section with an illustration of the above-mentioned theme,
writing about how maintaining secrecy is of the utmost importance:
I have been ana for almost 10 years nowmy whole life has been a constant struggle
between food [and weight]. I had to make this profile so all of my friends wouldnt
know what is going on with me (this is my secret page)many of them dont know
about my ED and the ones who do know do not support me at all. This way I can hide
from them but still be who I am around people out there who are like me and deal
with the same battle that I do everyday!
As Dias (2003) found in her study of pro-ana sites many of the women are seeking reprieve
from the isolation they experience from their disordered eating. They need a place where they
can share their stories and fears with others who are similarly minded and have had
comparable experiences. They, as Dias put it, are seeking a sanctuary. The internet provides
the women with both a sanctuary and a medium in which to express the sensations and intense
emotions they experience as they struggle to maintain control over their bodies and lives.
When You Start Feeling Dizzy and Weak, Youre Almost There. Its Euphoric.
The emotional highs and lows reported seemingly are the reason why it is so difficult for
people to recover from disordered eating habits. The experiences reported are similar to
the experiences that drug users and alcoholics report. The highs are incredible and the lows
are terrible, so to avoid the awful feelings one must find ways to get high again. One
woman writes of her most recent fasting experience, Starvation is fulfilling. Colors
become brighter, sounds sharper, odors so much more savory and penetrating that inhalation fills every fiber and pore of the body. Another woman also writes about
experiencing altered perceptions and the exhilaration associated with starvation:

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I go through these intense phases. All a part in the process I suppose. Yet today the
shuffle on the Ipod was magical. The world is so magical. Everything has so much
depth, color, texture. Like times on [mu]shrooms where I wish everyone could see
the world in the same way, even on other days. Those who open their soul can see it.
The events described above are similar to the feelings that Lyngs (1990) skydivers and
Loiss (2001) rescue workers reported. Ferrell (1998a) notes the intense adrenaline rush
experienced while painting graffiti on freight train cars; at any moment, one could be
arrested or attacked by street toughs. Reality is altered and becomes hyper-reality where
everything is different and more vibrant. Even when the women are not fasting or
experiencing dramatic weight loss, the sensation of having the number on the scale drop is
invigorating and provides further motivation to restrict, purge, exercise or fast as indicated
below:
My weight loss had really slowed down over the last week. Id been restricting to an
extent everyday (although not always as much as I wanted) but the number on the
scale just wasnt going down. So, I took a laxative last night and drank plenty of
water yesterday to prevent water retention and my weight was down by another two
[pounds] this morning. I was so happythe happiest Ive been in a long time.
Another woman stated, I was happy with my successful dieting tools. They were effective
and the euphoria I experienced starving was addictive. Happiness, which is apparently
rare in the lives of many of these women, is enough to keep one motivated. The emotional
highs continually bring them back to the subculture and reinforce their drive for thinness.
One young woman who reportedly experienced many vicissitudes of both anorexia and
bulimia wrote about her motivation for continuing:
Every time I lose a pound, I am so happy and so motivated to lose more. I love seeing
the numbers on the scale decrease it is one of the best feelings in the world. I used to
say how I thought starving yourself was wrong but hey it works and I love it. I eat but
I watch my calorie intake and make sure I burn off at least half of what I eat if not
more. I love working out and watching the calories on the machine increase. Burning
calories is such a great feeling and I love the feeling when you are done. I feel so
accomplished.
Another woman reported in an online profile that she has struggled with anorexia for over
20 years. She stated that it began in her teen years and that she had not had an episode
for seven years, but a divorce and then dating a younger man triggered it. She explains how
she felt when she started fasting again:
I felt terrific. I looked terrific. For three months, I ate just enough to keep from
faintingI started eating again, but with restraint. And thats where I am now. But
Ill starve myself again, for the sense of power over my body. Its almost an erotic
feeling. Feeling better about your body is extremely sensuous.
Themes of euphoria, happiness, and altered states of reality are some of the sensations and
highs experienced while fasting and losing weight. The lows are horrific, as indicated, but
the lows serve as reminders of why they are struggling, the pain reminds them that if they
work hard and are successful, they will again experience happiness and euphoria. The
experience becomes erotic, as it did for Ferrells (1998a) graffiti painters and Lyngs
(1990) skydivers. One of the key elements of edgework, according to Lyng (1990), is the
emotions and sensations encountered by edgeworkers. Smiths (2005) research on financial

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traders furthers this by arguing that while edgeworkers report their feelings, it perhaps is
not their feelings that are valued most highly; the value lies in the ability to maintain
mastery over those feelings because it contributes to ones sense of control. The women
report a sense of accomplishment and pride when they are successfully achieving weight
loss. As I mentioned previously, these themes are not mutually exclusive because all of the
elements necessary to negotiate the edge are related to one another, in a feedback loop of
sensation, skill, and experience.

Conclusions
The purpose of the present research was to focus on the narratives of women who maintain
or participate in pro-ana sites, or those who create online profiles as a means of creating
community. These data indicate that Lyngs (2005, 1990) concept of edgework is an
appropriate theoretical framework for understanding the pro-ana subculture. The womens
narratives I explored indicate that they participate in the central features of edgework,
namely pushing oneself to the edge, testing the limits of both their bodies and minds,
exercising particular skills that require innate talent and mental toughness, and feelings
of self-actualization or omnipotence.
Furthermore, this research provides an important contribution to the literature on
edgework because scholarship in this area has focused almost exclusively on men as
edgeworkers. Lois (2001) studied both men and women rescue workers and reported that
both sexes participated in edgework; however, her research noted the differences in
emotive responses between men and women. Her data indicated that men tended to feel
confident and excited on missions, whereas women were wary and scared on critical
missions. However, she did not focus exclusively on women nor did she draw parallels
between the men and women. Rajah (2007) also examined womens participation in
edgework, but her research focused on women who employed edgework as a form of
resistance and survival skill because they were in abusive relationships. While both Rajahs
and Lois research offer important contributions to the edgework literature, neither study
focuses on the similarities between how men and women engage in edgework, whereas the
present study does.
Based on the present research, I argue that edgework is not a uniquely male phenomenon, instead womens edgework experiences have been overlooked because women who
participate in perilous behaviors are often labeled mentally ill due to gender role norms.
The data presented in this study indicate that women do engage in edgework like men, they
push their bodies to the brink of death, they employ skills that must be constantly refined
and sharpened so they can push the edge that much further, and they experience the
emotional rush from engaging in the activity. A woman who is rushed to the hospital
because her major organs are shutting down from starvation is no different from a man who
is near death from a motorcycle accident where he was screaming through an S-curve at
120 miles per hour (Lyng 1998, p. 221). What does ultimately differ is the reaction by
society, assuming they both live. The man will be treated and released; the woman will be
sent to the psychiatric ward of the hospital until she gains enough weight and has shown
that she is recovered. It is also possible that one of the reasons the reaction is different is
because anorexia, or eating disorders in general, is private, largely domestic endeavors,
whereas base-jumping, skydiving, and racing motorcycles typically occur in public spaces.
This research is not an attempt to generalize findings and I in no way believe that the
findings I present represent everyone who experience difficulties with their size, eating, or

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who have been diagnosed with an eating disorder; rather these data suggest preliminary
patterns I discovered while analyzing pro-ana online profiles and websites. There are two
limitations with these data. First, because these data were collected online the information
presented could be exaggerated or false, but nonetheless they are still narratives which
provide important vocabularies of motive and accounts. Second, the women I observed
may not have eating disorders and may not even be young women. However, I think that
the latter possibility is unlikely, but the point is they may be misrepresenting themselves.
Some may be fake profiles, but I am certain that the majority, if not all, are young women
who have issues with their body image and size. I am confident for two reasons: (1) they
take pictures of themselves and place them on the site, some are thin with bones jutting out
and others are of average size and report extreme dissatisfaction with their body; and (2)
it is pretty clear who spends a good deal of time on the sites and who does not: the online
profiles pages indicate if the person is online and the last time she logged in. It also
becomes apparent how invested the person is in participating in the subculture if she is
posting bulletins, blogging, leaving comments for her friends, or receiving comments daily
or several times a week. Despite these limitations, I contend that the data presented offer
important contributions to both the edgework literature and the eating disorder literature.
Furthermore, researchers interested in eating disorders should explore the ways young
women construct their eating disorder because that understanding could lead to more
effective and appropriate ways of dealing with starvation, purging, and restriction. Currently treatment focuses on forcing women to eat by placing them in psychiatric wards or
treatment facilities where they have to finish every bite and participate in daily weighins. Force-feeding someone who has issues with her size and eating habits and then
weighing her daily reinforces the idea that there is some magic number one must or can
achieve. More importantly, it ignores the underlying issues that women who struggle with
their size deal with daily and could potentially make the situation worse. Treatment models
should focus on the real issues; I suspect that the real issue is not food but instead
manifestations of cultural and psychological feelings of alienation. As Malson (1998, p. 6)
states, The anorexic body, like other bodies, is then always-already caught up in systems
of meanings, symbolic representations and power relations. Anorexia is saying something
about what it means to be a woman Treatment models and research on the eating
disorders need to focus on bringing dignity and respect to the women.
The present study brings dignity to these womens lives by interpreting their narratives
not as mental illness or defect, but instead as part of a much more complex issue wherein
the women have autonomy and where their disordered eating, in many respects, can be
seen as a form of resistance to patriarchy and female gender roles. These women are in
pain both psychologically and physically, but it is a pain they choose, not pain forced upon
them by the rigid gender norms of society. They have become active participants in
deciding how they will hurt rather than succumbing to passive gender role stereotypes
where they are told how they should act, why they feel the way they do, and how they
should look. As Lyng (1990) mentions, there is a dialectic at work here: the women are
engaging in a form of resistance while at the same time participating in disordered eating
and maintaining thinness reinforces gender role stereotypes and the beauty myth.
Increasing scrutiny and public attention to pro-ana websites and online groups has
resulted in many of them being shut down because of pressure from various public campaigns that allege the sites encourage eating disorders and teach young girls how to become
anorexic or bulimic (Dias 2003). The idea of censorship is not new; it has also occurred with
video games, films, television programs, and some cartoons largely because moral entrepreneurs claimed these sources were inciting deviance and delinquency (Ferrell 1998b).

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However, removal of the websites has simply led to the creation of new ones. The young
women involved are stigmatized for their behavior and participation, but they are also quite
proud of the fact that they can subvert and overcome the obstacles they are presented with. It
becomes clear how important the subculture is for these women because it provides them
with community and a support network, which they generally lack in their daily lives.
I argue that the blame is misplaced. Instead of blaming websites and young women, the
outrage should be shifted to the cultural messages that we are inundated with daily.
Websites are not creating disordered eating; cultural preoccupations with beauty, thinness,
and mass consumption are (Hesse-Biber 2007). Fear of fatness, including the current
emphasis on the growing obesity problem in the US and gendered double standards, are as
much to blame for an increase in young womens eating disorders as websites and online
communities, which provide support to those who are seeking sanctuary (Dias 2003)
from a life of isolation, fear, and self-hatred.
Acknowledgments Special thanks to Jeff Ferrell, Blake Hestir, Michael Katovich and the anonymous
reviewers for their comments, suggestions, and insights on an earlier draft of this manuscript.

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