In preparing for this talk, I have been

thinking about this concept, HOW DO I

KNOW IF IM DEVELOPING A
TESTIMONY OF
JESUS CHRIST? To me this means
understanding the Lords ways more and
more, just as Christ himself received grace
for grace. For this talk the word,
TESTIMONY will mean coming to better
understand the Lords ways or will.
The Lords way can be mysterious to us.
The Lord has said, For as the heavens are
higher than the earth, so are my ways

higher than your ways, and my thoughts

than your thoughts (Isaiah 55:9.) King
Benjamin taught, For how knoweth a man
the master whom he has not served,
and who is a stranger unto him, and is far
from the thoughts and intents of his heart
(Mosiah 5:13). (personal experience)
As I myself have only begun to scratch the
surface of understanding the ways and
thoughts of the Lord, over time and
grace for grace, I have been utterly
convinced of their correctness. I hope to
one day
reach what I see as a PERFECTED

TESTIMONY as expressed by the prophet

Nephi son of Helamen by the Lord Himself,
Blessed art thou, Nephi, for those
things which thou hast done; for I have
beheld how thou hast with unwearyingness
declared the word, which I have given
unto thee, unto this people. And thou hast
not feared them, and thou hast not
sought thine own life, but hast sought
my will, and to keep my commandments.
And now, because thou hast done this
with such unwearyingness, behold, I will
bless thee forever; and I will make thee
mighty in word and in deed, in faith

and in works; yea, even that all things

shall be done unto thee according to thy
word, for thou shalt not ask that which
is contrary to my will (Helamen 10:4-5).
I think a general process of conversion
and GAINING A TESTIMONY can be
described and indeed has been given by
the prophet Moroni. and the fruits of
repentance is baptism; and baptism cometh
by faith unto the fulfilling the
commandments; and the fulfilling the
commandments bringeth a remission of
sins; And the remission of sins bringeth

meekness, and lowliness of heart; and

because of meekness and lowliness of
heart cometh the visitation of the
Holy Ghost, which comforter filleth with
hope and perfect love, which love endureth
by diligence unto prayer, until the
end shall come, when all the saints
shall dwell with God. (Moroni 8:25-26).
What does Moroni mean when he says
the first fruits of repentance is baptism? I
think he is reminding us that we all
sin and fall short. We must
acknowledge this by following Gods

commandments, such as being baptized.

Our sins make us unclean or unworthy
to be where God is. Sin is in fact, doing
what is contrary to the will of the
Father and is counted as sin when we
know better. Since there is no way we can
get ourselves back to our
Heavenly Father, He provided a new law
to replace the law of simple justice for our
sins. (See 2 Nephi 2 and
D&C 19: 16-18) Through the
Atonement, he provides the provision of
paying the price justice requires for us

if we would give him our broken heart

and contrite spirit. I think one reason
Heavenly Father carefully protected our
agency in the pre-existence is for this
very reason. He knew our broken hearts or
in essence OUR WILL, was
the only offering we could give him that
was truly our own and the only way we
could return to live with him.
Therefore, the first fruits of repentance
and gaining a testimony of Christ are to
acknowledge our human
weakness and partake of Jesus saving
grace through baptism. In conference,

Elder Stanfil said, (in essence)

to remember that when Peter walked on
the water when Christ called to him, he
began to be swallowed up.
Peter immediately understanding his
dilemma and knowing he could not save
himself, reached out and said,Lord
save me and the Jesus lifted him up.
At times I have felt frustrated by the
expectation to keep all the commandments
because I know I can not keep
them perfectly. To that, my mind recalls
Jesus words, life, and ministry as

mentioned in the sacrament prayers,

a renewing of our baptismal covenant.
O God, the Eternal Father, we ask thee
in the name of thy Son, Jesus Christ, to
bless and sanctify this bread to the
souls of all those who partake of it, that
they may eat in remembrance of the body of
they Son, and witness unto thee,
O God, the eternal Rather, that they are
willing to take upon them the name of thy
Son, and always remember him
and keep his commandments which he
has given them; that they may always have

his Spirit to be with them. (D&C

20:77). In the sacrament ordinance the
priesthood authority calls upon the Father to
make this simple act of everlasting
importance. Using the very authority of
Jesus Christ, the Son of God, the
priesthood representative re-iterates the
terms
of the covenant which Jesus himself
agreed to and gave to his disciples in
Jerusalem and again in the new world.
To me the sacrament table reminds me
of the ancient altar first established by
father Adam and through history now

the sacrament table looks as we see it

today. We in fact take the sacrament as
proof before the Father that we accept
His Sons ministry and Atonement,
meaning we will do what Jesus taught. We
are keeping the commandments when we
take the sacrament and promise to keep
them after. This is something I always pray
that I can do but inevitably fall short.
So as I mention earlier, I become
frustrated and completely acknowledge by
my own experience that I cant keep the
commandments perfectly. And so I

studied the second sacrament prayer. Oh

God, the Eternal Father, we ask thee
in the name of thy Son, Jesus Christ, to
bless and sanctify this water to the souls of
all those who drink of it, that
they may do it in remembrance of the
blood of thy Son, which was shed for them;
that they may witness unto thee,
O God, the Eternal Father, that they do
always remember him, that they may have
his Spirit to be with them (D&C
20:79). The same priesthood is used
and we again offer a witness to the Father.
But no mention of the commandments

in this prayer! A few days after I wrote

this talk I read in 1 Nephi 3:7 the Lord
giveth no commandments unto the children
of men save he shall prepare a way for
them that they may accomplish the thing
which he commanded them. The Spirit
is the cleansing agent of our souls and
makes baptism more than symbolism. The
cleansing power of the Atonement
is not predicated on us keeping the
commandments but based on us
remembering Jesus. Remember the two
great

conversion stories in the Book of

Mormon are initiated by remembering the
Savior as taught by parents in the
stories of Alma the younger and Enos.
Our existence is a series of choices that
shape our character and lead us to who we
will become in the future.
In relation to the verse in Moroni, the
choices we make each day determine with
what we will be filled with every day.
Are we choosing to be filled with the
Lords teachings or do we revert to the
baser instincts of the natural man?

Heavenly Father filled us with the

gospel and truth in the pre-existence.
When we are born this still resides within us
as our conscience. Our conscience, or
past gospel instruction, can assist us in
making decisions. Our conscience is
a starting point and can be helped or
hindered based on what we are filled with
over our lifespan. One day the content
of our souls will be judged and an
accounting made.
The content of our souls also makes a
difference in our outlook on life. Paul put it
this way, For now we see through a glass,

darkly; but then face to face: now I know

in part; but then shall I know even as also I
am known, (1 Cor 13:12). The glass
meaning there is a temporary physical
separation between us and Heavenly
Father. Darkly meaning the content of our
souls,
which is established by our daily
actions, determines the clarity of our
understanding of the Lords ways. Paul
adds, But
we all, with open face beholding as in a
glass the glory of the Lord, are changed
into the same image from glory to glory,

even
as by the Spirit of the Lord (2 Cor
3:18). A similar term, grace to grace, is
used in D&C 93:13 in Johns account of
Jesus
progression too.
So what should we be seeing through
the glass that Paul is talking about? As the
darkness of the content in the glass
becomes more transparent we should
be seeing things as they really are.
Mankind has been fooled by this darkness
at times and relied on their own

understanding to explain the world they are

seeing.
Conclusion: As we repent, are
baptized, and continue to strengthen our
testimonies, (Elder Rasband taught in this
past conference that our testimonies
grow through many spiritual experiences),
we will feel more comfortable with
accepting the Lords ways. True
conversion is the process of us recognizing
our weaknesses, keeping the
commandments, and being filled with
the Holy Spirit.

It