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The Heart &Soul of Life in 21 Days

Marsha Funneman

Preface
Id like to begin this book by giving you a little history about me. I want to touch on the changes Ive
made within myself that have brought me to a more enjoyable, hopeful, and beautiful life. In my early
adulthood, I found myself battling a lot with depression and anxiety. Dont get me wrong, I was very
proud of my accomplishments and the many opportunities I was given in life. Still, my outlook on life
seemed to turn to a lot of negatives as I leaned toward being consumed by what I didnt have and on
regrets from my past. I have always worked hard, but in doing so I always felt like it wasnt enough and
that the world owed me more. Like most, I had big dreams of bigger and better things like a car,
house, and salary. I thought these would bring me happiness. I thought the more I did, the more money
I made and the more I obtained then the more fun and enjoyable my life would be.
As I reached different promotions and places in my life, though, I always felt as if something was
missing. Not only that, but I dealt with a lot of anger, jealousy, and resentment inside. I always had a
strong faith in God. The community I grew up in and the events in my life helped me to build my strong
faith when I was young. As I was trying to find my way in life my thoughts always came back to God. I
had this feeling of God wants so much more from me than what Im doing in this world. There came
a point in my life that I truly felt I was hitting rock bottom. Lots of things seemed to be rocky and
spinning out of control and I was allowing myself to be absorbed in the negativity. I was making choices
in life that were not good for my health or my relationships. I seemed to be going to a place that I knew
for sure I didnt want to be.
It was at that point that I picked up the book Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren and began to read it
each day. By reading this book, I began to SLOWLY see life in a new way. I began to see myself in a new
way. This booked started to open my eyes to the real meaning of life and the importance of each of us
in this complex world. It showed me that God does have a purpose for me, but that purpose was far
from the types of things I was focused on striving towards in my life. It was at this time, that I began to
realize how important our perspective and choices truly are. It has been about 9 years since I read that
book. It was only the beginning of a long journey of discovering more and more about living a beautiful,
purpose-filled life. Nine years later I am still learning, studying and praying daily in order to assure I do
all I am able to do to make my life here on earth as it should be a life with sustainable happiness and
joy. John 10:10 "I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.
Part of that joy comes from paying forward what Ive learned to others. That is the reason for this book.
I hope that you will take away at least one thing that will help you on your journey to find your purposefilled, enjoyable life.

Acknowledgments
Thank you to Amanda Ball and Marci Sepanski for volunteering to edit my words. For each entry, you
took the time to review, fix my grammar, and give your opinion and input. If it werent for you, this book
would not be possible.
Thank you also to Miles T-shirt Co. for the development of the graphic design on the front of this book.

Paying it Forward
Together we can change the world, one good deed at a time. Pay It Forwarders Everywhere
I firmly believe in the fact that the more one gives of themselves to others and to God, the more they
receive in return. Weve all seen it in the movies, the power of paying it forward. The movie Pay It
Forward (2000), was very moving for most of us. A young boy whole heartedly believed he could change
the world with good deeds. He may not have completely changed the world, but he sure did have a
huge impact on a number of peoples lives by the good deeds that he and others repeatedly and
purposely achieved. Yes, this is just a movie, but it is a movie that without a doubt can be played out
in real life.
As I grow, mature, and evolve one of the things Ive seen for certain is the positive impact we earn in our
lives the more we intentionally try to help others. Big or small, each act of kindness with unselfish
intentions can lead to a ripple effect displaying great beauty amongst what many see as a dark and
dreary world. Using our talents and blessings, we can raise the spirits of others, feed others, shelter
others, and even change and/or save the lives of others. The positive energy that evolves from this is
what keeps givers filled with joy and excitement, continuously seeking to reach out to others.
The feeling of doing a good deed is one of the most exhilarating and freeing experiences we have in our
lives. Freeing of what? Freeing ourselves of the bondage of selfishness, bitterness, and negativity. The
fact that we can put aside our human nature of self-satisfaction and satisfy anothers needs, ironically,
gives us a greater joy. A feeling unlike any we can receive by clinging to our worldly possessions. Giving
someone a glimmer of hope and a light in what they may see as complete darkness, can and will be seen
by God. Not only will it be seen by God, He will have the utmost gratitude for the offering to our fellow
man or woman. Even if those we are helping appear to be ungrateful, the act will be recognized and
returned to us in some fashion in abundance. Yet, we must be careful our good deeds are not done in
hopes of a reward, for this brings us back to selfishness and greed which is already filling this world.
Instead of complaining about this world and all that others are doing wrong, we need to start looking at
what we can do to make it a better place and give others a better life. If each person would start to
make an effort to add acts of goodness to their daily routines, the synergistic effect on oneself and this
world could be more than ever imagined. Life is to be lived with a fire of passion and the best catalyst
for that fire is kindness.

Making a Change
"You can suffer the pain of change or suffer remaining the way you are." Joyce Meyer
What do you need to change in your life? Some people say they dont want to change a thing about
their life. They say that their life is perfectly fine. Still, I challenge everyone to really look at their lives,
their health, their work, their habits, and so on. Look at it thoroughly and with an open mind. After
doing this, can you truly say that all is fine with no room for improvement? It is apparent by peoples
actions, words, finances, and health that many are in need of changes in their lives. Our lives should
demonstrate constant evolution and progress with the goal of becoming a better overall human being.
Everyone has problems in their lives. Stress is seen everywhere. Some issues we have very little, if any,
control over. Yet, so many of the stressors we feel and come up against, we can actually constrain or
eliminate. We must take a stand for ourselves by taking responsibility for what can and needs to be
altered in order for our problems to subside and even vanish.
The reason why we see very little of this, though, is because many people have a strong fear of change.
With every change come sacrifices, effort, time and adjustment. We often see people who are
absolutely miserable in their life, but do not budge to modify anything for fear of the unknown. Often
times they are scared to move beyond where they have been for so long due to the comfort of their
environment. It is true that some people go their entire life progressing very little, but yet there are
many others that step out and take control of what is dragging them down and do something about it.
The latter being a challenge I have for everyone!
So where do we start? First, step back and allow ourselves to dissect and look at our life in a different
way. We must start looking at life in a cause and effect type of manner. What is this doing to me? Do I
need to change it? If so, how will I do that? It comes down to a matter of seeing and understanding
what we are, where we are and that many of the pains we feel are a product of what we continue to
think, say and do. The next step is overcoming fear with faith, personal development, positivity, and
purpose, and with the understanding that remaining the same will give us the same outcome over and
over again, but creating change can seriously bring us to much higher places.
We need to look at what may be dragging us down. Knowing we have all been given the gift of free will,
we need to decide if we will change or just remain the same? Like so many other aspects in life, its our
choice.

Evaluating Our Habits

"Good habits are the key to all success." --Og Mandino
We cannot deny that what we do every day and the choices we make each hour ultimately brings us to
our end results. It is in our actions, our use of time, and our thought patterns that our direction is
decided. In many scenarios in life, it can be that simple and straightforward. If we want to become
more fit and lean, we must develop the habit of exercise and eating nutritious foods. If we want to earn
a 4.0 GPA in school, we must use the majority of our time preparing and studying for the exams. If we
want to be a successful entrepreneur, we must focus heavily on our goals and carry out our action plans
to reach them. If we want to be a great husband or wife, we must put into practice those things that
have been proven time and time again to secure a marriage. The list could go on and on.
The problem that many come up against, though, is learning the good habits and how to set our minds
on implementing them. As most things in life, this all comes with study and surrounding ourselves with
the right people. To succeed and achieve, we must change. These changes involve seeking out the right
resources that will guide us off of the path of bad habits and onto the path of good habits, which will
bring us to our desired destination. In this modern world of vast communication, internet and social
media, tapping into these resources and people are easier than ever before. If electronic
communication is not an option, then we can still find other ways to personally seek out those people
and places that can be beneficial to our success. Remember that there are people out there that have
accomplished what we desire to accomplish. Using their experience and knowledge is a very important
key to learning how to apply beneficial habits.
As mentioned previously, change is essential in success. With each new good habit we acquire, we need
to let go of one bad habit. Those aspects of our lives that could be considered negative influences need
to become a less prominent part of our life. If we want to increase patterns in our lives that bring us
closer to great achievement, then we must learn to decrease those practices that could lead us away
from our new direction in life.
Evaluating our life and putting our everyday habits under a microscope from time to time is always a
good idea. Our actions and concentration of our time and energy will eventually lead to the outcomes
of our life. While circumstances are definitely out of our control, there are many aspects of life we have
full control. I encourage all to strive for fulfillment and success by developing good habits. We must
tackle the bad habits and in order to cultivate the good.

Doing Our Part

"Do what you can with what you have, where you are."-T. Roosevelt
Simply put, appreciate and utilize who, what, when and where you are now to get where you want to
be. As humans we have a tendency to look at others and wish we had what they had and/or desire to
be positioned where they appear to be positioned. We aspire to be bigger, better, more achieved, and
more successful. Aspirations are a wonderful thing and are the best tools to drive people to move
forward each and every day. Yet, the obstacles we are bound to run into are when we start longing for
what we do not yet possess to the point that our focus is solely on what we do not have rather than
what we do.
I believe that God provides us with what we need to obtain the passions, desires and dreams he has
placed in our hearts. First and foremost, we must look at our surroundings in a positive light. We must
see what and who is around us in our daily lives be it at work, on television/radio, the gym, at home, on
social media, etc. Is our environment helping lift us and/or guide us in the direction we aspire to go to?
Our daily thoughts should be on those things that we value, rather than on those things that could bring
us down. We must take ourselves away from those places, people, and communications that are filled
with negativity and instead seek those areas that we can nurture and grow in a pathway parallel to our
desired destination.
Next, we must look at the things we already possess that will aid us in what we are now doing, so we
can do even more. We each possess multiple gifts and talents, which are revealed to us in our daily
lives. It is our responsibility to recognize our natural endowments, rather than wanting those of others.
We are gifted for a reason, and the more we use our talents to better ourselves and mankind, the
greater the guarantee we will arrive where we hope to be.
Along with our natural gifts, we must look for the physical tools surrounding us that can and should be
utilized to help us reach our goals. Gathering those implements that promote us and increase our skills,
rather than keep us idle. These tools can be anything from a piece of communication equipment to a
personal development book to an actual instrument of our trade. Our toolbox must be filled with useful
pieces that we can presently acquire so we can build a solid foundation to an obtainable dream.
Let us not overlook the wonderful possessions we have that surround us now by longing for the place
we havent yet reached. Seeing the who, what, when and where of our present will allow us to become
the person we are meant to be.

Recognizing Our Positive Attributes

"The happiest life is that which constantly exercises and educates what is best in us." -Hamerton
We cannot experience the best of what life has to offer unless we are willing to learn more of ourselves
deep within. We must learn how to use the gifts, talents and attributes that are unique to us. I like to
call it soul searching, but whatever we call it, it takes thought, reflection, and revelation to intimately
know and understand our strengths to the point that we purposefully use and improve them.
Often, people will think and talk about their weaknesses rather than using that energy to increase and
apply their strengths. Yes, it is very important to acknowledge and understand our flaws and where we
struggle. Being conscious of these can help us improve as well. We learn to stay away, by staying away
from those things that steer us from our paths towards a better life. We learn that by applying the right
efforts, we will correct and revise our shortcomings. In order to improve on our weaknesses we must
take full advantage of our strengths. Striving to reach our full potential by using our positive
characteristics and uniqueness to our advantage helps boost our self-confidence, see the world in a
more positive manner, and puts our focus on what we can do rather than what we cannot do.
So how do we improve on our gifts and talents? First, after the discovery of what is best in us, we
must decide how we can apply these talents to help ourselves and the world. We must figure out where
they can be applied in the best manner and then develop an action plan to help us continuously use
them on purpose. Just like a muscle, the more we use our good qualities the better and more efficient
they become. From there, we continue to grow and even develop and discover more positive attributes
within ourselves. Not only do we need to execute the power within us, we also need to find sources that
provide us with powerful knowledge and education that can help boost and enhance our strengths.
Personal development books, quotes, websites, and seminars are a fantastic aid. Surrounding ourselves
with the right people, places and things that bring out the best in us will always result in a joyful,
passion-filled, and accomplished life.
As in anything else, improvement within us does take time, soul searching, and effort. With those
efforts, we become better people trying to make a better world by doing all we can to become the
people God intended us to be. We all have weaknesses, but all of us have God-given gifts as well. We
must understand both in order to increase our liveliness. Digging deep and searching our heart and soul
is time well spent. Heading through life with blinders on and never looking beyond the surface of
ourselves or others is detrimental to our true happiness and fulfillment.

Decreasing Fear
We have to start teaching ourselves not to be afraid.-William Faulkner.
We all have insecurities and fears. There is probably something you've been avoiding because you have
some sort of fear in doing it. It's OK to feel fear, but we cant let it rule us. We can all find courage within
ourselves. Courage is not for the select few, nor do we need to visit the Wizard of Oz to receive it. Great
things occur when we step out in Faith.
Stepping out of where? Simply, stepping out of our comfort zonesor as I like to say, demolishing our
comfort zones. The definition of a comfort zone is a situation or position in which a person feels
secure, comfortable, or in control (the freedictionary.com). Being afraid keeps us in a place in which
we have little discomfort. A niche we are content living in, but not a place that brings us higher. I dont
believe that we are to live this wonderful life in such a way that we do not challenge ourselves, develop
new skills, help others, and continuously grow. None of this can be accomplished by staying in our
bubble of safety.
How do we develop courage? How do we destroy the walls of our zone? First and foremost, I believe
having Faith in God is the most powerful way to face our fears. God leads us in certain directions and
expects us to obey and trust Him as we move forward whether we feel fear or not. The Bible is a great
source of encouragement for tackling what lies ahead. As a matter of fact, Fear Not and Do Not Be
Afraid appear numerous times in the bible. Facing our fears is very important. For God has not given
us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline. (2 Timothy 1:7)
Secondly, recognizing, understanding, and accepting that there is a chance for error and outcomes not
going as planned. We must understand that with each endeavor we never fail if we learn and grow.
A third and extremely important aspect that we need in order to be bold and confident is to make our
life as positive as possible. Positivity must GREATLY exceed negativity in all areas. Our thoughts are
powerfully uplifting. We need to tune into what we are saying over and over in our minds and assure
that they are uplifting and bright. What follows our thoughts? Our words come from what our mind is
meditating on, and our words are equally as important. Only those things that advance, exhilarate and
improve us and others should be uttered from our mouths. In order to achieve this, we must
understand that mind renewal is a necessity. For mind renewal we need to surround ourselves with
positive people, places, and things that are positive, supportive and from which we can be educated.
The people and things we surround ourselves with are a great part of what makes us who you are.
Teaching ourselves to not be afraid can be accomplished. Will it take effort, thought, and action? Yes, of
course it will. But we should not be intimidated by any path or task we undertake. We should not be
intimidated by any obstacle. Instead, we should have Faith and take action. We will be amazed where
those two concepts can take us!!

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Increasing Discipline
Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishment. Jim Rohn
During my early morning prayers there are certain facets in my life that I purposely ask God to help me
with before entering the day. My discipline is one of those. Goals are great. I am a huge fan of goal
setting and promote this with everyone that asks me for advice in life. Our aspirations are part of what
keeps us going each day. Yet, without discipline, those goals could never be reached. If we do not
purposely gain the willpower to do and not do all aspects of the action plan to reach our goals, we
remain stagnant along our pathway to success.
Lack of discipline is one of the main reasons people do not finish, or even start, their journey to
accomplishment. There can be many reasons for this shortcoming. One of the main factors that limit us
from practicing self-control is that we do not remove ourselves from situations that tempt us. If we state
that we want to reach a destination but know that certain activities, people, and things must be
avoided, then we must proactively remove ourselves from those obstacles. At the same time, we need
to purposely put ourselves in the places and positions to keep us on the right track. Before setting a
goal, we need to understand that changes are necessary. It is impossible to achieve something by
remaining the same, doing the same, and thinking the same.
With that said, discipline does not always come easy. It is something that we must wrap our heads
around and do on purpose. I will be honest; there is one statement that I hear a lot that really irritates
me. That statement is I wish I had your willpower. I was not born with a super hero power that helps
me achieve my goals. Am I very good at restraint from many things as well as follow through with many
undertakings? Yes, I am. But at the same time, there are still a few aspects of my life that I fail to do on
a consistent basis that would most likely prove to be beneficial if I did. What is the difference? Thats
simpleI need to want it bad enough. I need to make up my mind that the goal, destination, or outcome
at the end of all of the discipline is something I truly want and desire. Willpower does not just come to
us. It is a product of seeing, feeling and knowing that the end result is way more important and essential
in our lives than the alternative. Its all about focus, vision, and being very familiar with purpose for
stepping out on our journey to success.
We must have our minds focused so strongly on that goal that we don't allow ourselves to wander too
far off the path to get there. We must not only visualize the goal, but visualize the path. A question we
should ask ourselves is What are the "must do's" and must not dos we see on that bridge to our
goal? It is in this mind renewal that we can see, and therefore, walk the bridge we build with our very
own discipline.

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Seeing the World as a Gift

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first."Mark Twain
This world was a gift provided to us by God. Viewing life and this world as a gift is essential in order for
us to obtain a deep desire to give all that we can of ourselves. Living a life while expecting things to be
given to us develops bad character, greed, irresponsibility, and decreased productivity. I was blessed to
have grown up in a home and town that taught me everything we are eager to possess or attain in life
must be earned. The value of hard work, effort, and giving of ourselves builds character and provides a
gratifying feeling that we just cant gain any other way. Putting forth time and effort in our
relationships, careers, health, and talents helps us to learn the value of them. We should never get too
comfortable in a job, a certain income, or even a relationship. This leads to complacency, which then
leads to the false idea that we are owed something (that in reality we may be far from earning).
Yes, life, jobs, earnings, and relationships are not always "fair, but I have found that taking
responsibility for my actions and doing what I am able to do to improve my life is the key to more
happiness and joy. I agree we do not always see the exact results for which we are striving even after we
give it all weve got. Yet, many times it is not in the immediate end result that we receive the greatest
value, but rather in the journey along the way. I have been disappointed many times in my life, only to
find out that my trials, work, lessons, and growth along the way actually prepared me for something
even greater in the future. I believe whole heartedly that you dont always get what you want, but you
do get what you need if you put forth the effort with the right motive and attitude.
It is not our right to be given anything in this world. In actuality, we are blessed that we have a God that
loves us so much that he provided us with a world filled with all we need to survive and more. We
should not live with an attitude or belief that we automatically receive those things we desire. Rather
we should approach life knowing we owe it to God to make ourselves the best we can be; and in turn
contribute all we can to make the world the best that it can be.

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Learning From Our Mistakes

"A man's errors are his portals of discovery.-James Joyce
I've made lots of mistakes in my life. At the time of my mistakes, big and small, I would often feel such
failure, shame, and/or embarrassment. Some of these mistakes left me feeling inadequate and
frustrated which in turn caused me to look poorly on myself. A few even left me feeling hopeless,
sorrowful and unable to trudge through the mud of the guilt and humiliation I brought upon myself. Yet
with the help of God, loved ones, and acceptance of myself both good and bad, I have always powered
through them. I knew that I needed to learn from each misstep and discover more about myself and
others in order to become a better me.
See, as humans we will undoubtedly make errors as we live day to day moving from one adventure to
the next trying to put it all together. It is inevitable that we will miscalculate, misjudge and oversee. No
matter how hard we try, we will always battle with making wrong choices that lead to undesired
endings. Mankinds perfection will never be achieved completely, but each person does have the
capability to improve tremendously.
The goal in everyones life should be to literally learn from each mistake. Each error, failure, and poor
judgment should be a time of discovering more about ourselves, others, and the relationships in our life.
Sometimes our mistakes are guided by another individual, but taking ownership of each one is the first
step to overcoming them. Studying each one can start by asking ourselves questions such as: What
was my reasoning? What wrong steps did I take? When did I start moving in the wrong direction?
What could I have done differently to avoid this situation?
Finding answers to these and more will open the door to discovery. Exposure and exploration will bring
us so much more than just moving on from the downfalls and putting them in a place of hiding. We must
own, reveal or acquire the knowledge needed to improve. To become better people with better lives
and increasing wisdom, it is necessary to bring our failures to light and then move on with a strength we
previously didnt realize we possessed. For it is in wisdom that we improve and fail less; and thus, in
wisdom, we find more happiness and satisfaction with ourselves and with life.

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Applying Our Gifts

When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of
talent left, and could say, I used everything you gave me Erma Bombeck
We have all heard the saying; he or she is a natural while people watch in awe of how easy an activity,
hobby, or type of work may come to someone. A natural is just another way of saying that person
possesses a God-given gift in whatever realm in which they are functioning. We are all given talents.
Some talents are stronger and more dominating than others. We were each provided with skills and
favor in certain areas in life. God handpicked our abilities for us as individuals in order to use them in a
capacity he intended.
God has a plan for this mysterious, ever-changing and somewhat chaotic world. I also stand firm in the
thought that the more each of us comes together using our artistry and expertise in our works for their
intended purpose, the more we reveal the answers to life and diminish the chaos that can lead us
astray. It is our responsibility to uncover our natural gifts and seek our purpose, rather than merely
surviving and being wrapped up in the ways of this world. Our unique souls must break away from the
distractions and strongholds of everyday life as well as fear of the unknown. These aspects are obstacles
in the revelation and development of our individuality
Life will never be perfect. Living life with a fiery passion for what we are designed to do brings such joy,
excitement, and exhilaration! Making the development and application of our God-given gifts a center
part of our life is one of the best things we could ever do for ourselves. It is also an amazing way to show
gratitude to God.

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Taking Authority Over Our Minds

"The first step to becoming is to will it." Mother Teresa
So many of us wish our lives could be a certain way, wish we could have certain things, and wish we
could become a certain type of individual. Yet, its been proven over and over again that simply wishing
something to come true isnt enough to get the job done. Instead, it first takes the firm decision to set
the goal we need to set. Then, most importantly, it takes setting our minds in accordance to reaching
that goal. The problem is many people do not understand how much control we actually can have on
our days and lives. Of course we cannot control every circumstance, situation, and occurrence that
comes our way. There will always be things that happen to us and our loved ones that are simply out of
our hands. Still, our attitude, thoughts, and choices in all circumstances have much more power in our
outcomes then many want to believe. When looking at the whole picture rather than each individual
problem or circumstance, we can begin to see that life truly is what we make it. Our efforts,
temperament, and reaction influence the outcome of any situation that we face. The more Faith and
dependence we put in God with an optimistic mindset, the more we can become that which we wish to
become.
Its a natural inclination for people to want to learn all they can about the facts, the possible outcomes,
and the statistics. I agree that gathering information is an important aspect of our paths we undertake
in our lives. Sometimes, though, what may occur when one gets too caught up in the facts, is that
negativity, doubt and fear can easily develop. When we focus only on what can go wrong, what the
experts say, or failed attempts of others we can easily lose our determination to reach our goals. To
avoid this, we should also be using our faith in God, right attitudes, positive thoughts, affirmative words,
and our purpose-filled actions. Let me share an example of how willpower and determination can play a
huge role in reaching your dream, intent, or destination. After 9 years of numerous failed attempts to
run a 4-minute mile and break the 1945 record of 4 minutes 1.3 seconds many made it out to be a
physical impossibility. After not receiving a medal in the Olympics, Roger Bannister was determined to
prove the world wrong and be the first man to run a 4-minute mile. On May 6, 1954 he put more belief
in himself and his abilities than the stats that had piled up over the last 9 years and he broke the record
by running a mile in 3 minutes and 59.4 seconds. The most eye catching part of this story in history is
that it then only took 2 months before someone else stepped up and broke Banisters record. Another
person could suddenly run a mile in less than 4 minutes. Since then, the 1 mile run has been run in
under 4 minutes many, many times. This just goes to show, that one can truly move past the odds in
many things in life and will their mind, body and soul to their destinations.
I am a realist and a scientist, and therefore, I understand the limitations we can place on our minds. I
do it frequently. First and foremost, though, I am a believer in a God who can move mountains if we
simply step forward with the will to achieve along with a trusting attitude that great changes and goals
can be accomplished. We should never underestimate the effectiveness of taking authority over our
minds and where that action can take us. Living life on purpose and spending time focusing on what we
want to happen can bring us higher than we've ever imagined.
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Choosing to Let Go
Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.-Author Unknown
Everyone wants success in those things we take on in life...hobbies, work, health, relationships, weight
loss, sports, etc. The problem people run into, though, is that in order to succeed we inevitably have to
give something up.
Although we may want so badly to be able to have and do everything, we can only do so much. Digging
even further, we must realize that there may be several things in our life that arent beneficial to us.
Even though we feel as if we need to keep these items, people, places and activities in our lives, in
reality we would grow and improve more if we cut them out of our livesor at least decrease them
significantly.
It is a natural tendency of humans to want to be good at or succeed in whatever it is we are pursuing. Be
it parenthood, a career, a sport, a fitness goal, a marriage, a relationship, the list is endless in regards to
the different paths humans are attempting to execute well each and every day. No one goes into
something with the hopes to fail. Yet, it is very common for people to fail to reach their full potential
merely because they struggle in figuring out how to give up what needs to be released in order to
accomplish what they strive to accomplish.
We all must select what is important to us. The more we start bringing in or holding onto what
advances us in life rather than what keeps us stagnant or regressing, the more clearly we see our
purpose in life. The more clearly we see our purpose in life, the more sustainable joy and excitement we
have for each day. We need to recognize that we can close doors and some doors will close on their
own. But with thoughtful and prayerful judgment we can open the right doors that bring us to even
better positions in life.
When it comes to being successful, it is not only in what we choose to do but also what we choose not
to do. It is in what we have the wisdom we have to recognize what is keeping us sluggish in life. It is in
the willpower to eliminate or lessen from our living. A large part of accomplishment is figuring out on
whom and what our time and energy should be spent, and then actually spending it there. This is
achievement and, thus, bears success.

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Decreasing Negative Thoughts

"Some people complain because God puts thorns on roses, while others praise God for putting roses
among thorns."- Author Unknown
There was a time when I saw thorns among thorns among thorns and rarely smelled and smiled at the
roses. Like many, I was easily engulfed in the complaining and negativity that is ever so present in this
world. This approach brought nothing but sharp, consistent pain in my life and, even worse, in my soul.
On top of this, in desperate search to find something to fulfill me, I would quickly reach for things that
appeared to be nothing but beautiful bloom in my life without thought or prayer about where and
how I was reaching. I thought jumping in and grabbing what glimmered on the surface I would bring
happiness. Many times though, in my haste, I would get "pricked" from the looming thorns I did not first
see. Today, I know the thorns are there and, just l as if I were a gardener, I do my best to deal with them
in a calm, careful manner based on the wisdom of my past. Life will never be without those
circumstances, words, and actions that cause us some pain, but it is in our approach, awareness, and
attitude towards them that we can learn to abundantly enjoy the beauty of life.
The way we view the world is a very large portion of the battle in determining our joy in life. It is
important to know and understand that people are not perfect, not every goal can be reached, and our
daily living will not always be a smooth road. Yet, what is most important is not keeping the thorns on
the forefront of our minds. Instead we need to use powerful thoughts and words that illuminate the
wonderful, astonishing and amazing people, places, actions and things that surround us each and every
day. We need to open our eyes and hearts to all of our blessings. We need to clearly visualize the
continuous miracles that are displayed right before our eyes, yet are often overlooked.
It takes purpose-filled practice, but an optimistic mind is possible for all. The moment we wake in the
morning, we must think positive and grateful thoughts. We must utter encouraging and positive words.
We must seek out uplifting, marvelous elements of this world. We must intentionally envelop our minds
with greatness, but at the same time always be cautiously aware of what can cause us harm, pain or
disappointment. Our experiences, intuition and prayer can continue to lead us down the paths of a more
fulfilled life with a calm, strategic, and peaceful approach. The key is to focus our minds not on the
thorns, but rather on the roses that surround them.
Pain and negative protrusions in our lives will be there, but if we seek a relationship with God and have
faith in the true beauty He provides, He will continuously reveal it to us in every aspect of our lives.

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Preparing for Success

"I will study and get ready, and perhaps my chance will come." -A.Lincoln
Preparation is one huge key to success that many overlook. We must absorb all we can on whatever
subject we would like to master, and then we must equip ourselves with the right tools prior to tackling
the quest. If the opportunity for achievement in our personal life or business life is right in front of us,
we must not be fools and think that we can receive quality results without laying the groundwork first.
It is true that we cannot know exactly every situation, circumstance, obstacle, and victory we will meet
in each area of our lives. We can, however, seek out and master those areas in which we strive to be
successful. This can apply to business, family, sports, finances, and much more. We are all surrounded
by tools for every area in life that can help us develop a solid foundation built on the expertise and
experience of others that have proven performance in our chosen area. The more we seek out those
people, books, tools, and other resources the more we can put into our minds, speak with our words,
and do with our actions those things that are congruent with our intentions.
Spending the majority of our life on activities that do not enrich our mind, body and souls can easily
prove to be detrimental when we are faced with challenges to overcome and provided with chances to
improve. I firmly believe that many times people do not have much success in life endeavors not
because they arent good enough to achieve, but rather because they have failed to do what it takes to
prepare on every realm for what needs to be completed. This takes effort and sacrifice. Its a matter of
priorities and making choices that will make us better or not make us better. This does not mean every
activity in our lives must be devoted to study, preparation and personal development in those areas in
which we want to be successful. Balance of work/study and recreation/rest is very important. Without
it burn out is highly likely to occur and bring us back to ground zero. Therefore what we must do is
assure that we spend ample time in the area of preparation and practice.
In the world we live in today, we have very little excuse for not being able to find what we need to
enhance our minds and cultivate the seeds that have been planted within us. Technology has opened
the doors to so much knowledge and access to people, places, and facts that can aid in our quests. We
must find those tools and thoroughly examine them so that when those opportunities to make progress
are in front of us, we are more than ready to tackle them.

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Expecting More of Yourself

Dont lower your expectations to meet your performance. Raise your level of performance to meet
your expectations. Expect the best of yourself, and then do what is necessary to make it a reality.
Ralph Marston
I am sometimes amazed at the lack of confidence people have in themselves and in their potential. So
often I hear people talk more about what they cannot do (or believe they cannot do), rather than
speaking words and phrases that push them towards great achievement. In telling ourselves over and
over that we can only get so far in achieving our goals, we easily persuade ourselves that we can
produce and accomplish just a portion of what we actually can. It is very common for people to go
through life continuously doing, talking, and performing in the same manner and just accepting their
level of performance as just how it is. By not demanding themselves to go beyond where they are,
they often accept results at a minimal level. When in reality, their execution and actions just scratch the
surface of whom and what they can be.
So how does one start believing in their abilities? Well, my first suggestion is that we take ownership of
building the self-confidence we need to raise the bar. We cannot expect others to consistently raise us
up, but rather it is our responsibility to develop the skills that bring us higher and higher. As always, I
highly suggest starting with personal development books, videos, and audios. In addition, we must
continuously surround ourselves with positive and uplifting people, places and things. Being around
others that expect more of themselves inspires us to do the same. Seeing others that succeed by going
to great lengths, and many times against all odds, to increase their abilities is without a doubt a great
way to set a fire in our own hearts. This fire allows our confidence to grow more and more, which in
turn leads us to raising the bar on our personal expectations. Owning our thoughts, actions, words, and
courage is one of most important aspects of acquiring that confidence.
If we do not learn to step up to the plate we will settle for less than what God intended for us to be.
Success isnt for the select few. It is for those that make up their mind to do what they need to do to
reach their goals. My advice to all is DO NOT SETTLE! Instead, set high expectations for yourself and do
all you can to perform at that level. Even if you do not reach the exact goal you set out to achieve, you
will have achieved so much more than you originally believed. In doing so, you are displaying
significantly more of the potential God intended for you to show. All of us must continuously tap deeper
and deeper into the gifts given to us. Life is a journey of improvement, and we cannot improve without
expecting to increase our level of performance in all aspects of our lives.

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Realizing it Takes Effort

You have to put in many, many, many tiny efforts that nobody sees or appreciates before you
achieve anything worthwhile. ~ Brian Tracy
Too many people want success to happen overnight, but anything with a great purpose and worth
achieving takes effort and hard work. Lets admit it, as a whole society has learned to love and even
expect convenience. Anything that can happen quickly, with little work, thought or planning is what
many people seek. Weve got drive thru/fast food dining planted all throughout our cities and towns.
We have infomercials promising us easy and no hassle ways to make money, lose weight, and prepare
food by just making 3 easy payment installments. We have learned to just swipe a card in a little
machine for all our purchasing needs. We are surrounded by escalators/elevators and highly processed,
open and eat foods that steer us away from putting in much work or eating much nutrition. I could go
on and on with the list of conveniences, but think my point has been made.
Now, I enjoy convenience, and I am happy with many inventions that have helped us progress in the
past 100 years. The problem, though, is that the more we are accustomed to almost everything in our
lives becoming easier and easier to do, the more we expect all endeavors in our life to be easy. The
truth, though, is that anything worthwhile and with sustainable results requires diligence, effort,
planning, discipline, consistency and time. As an example: Ive never heard anyone say they enjoy a
microwavable meal more than a home cooked meal. Nor have I heard a cook say they feel so
accomplished when they pop something in a microwave for 5 minutes and serve it. No, it is those things
that we put our heart and soul into that brings more value, presence and individuality. Many times,
these types of undertakings make a long-lasting impression that we can build upon.
The key is to understand and appreciate the fact that it is almost inevitable that we must put forth
aspirations, sweat, struggle, creations, and endeavors. Many times, nobody else will ever see or fully
understand the purpose behind those efforts. Others will see the outcome, but most likely not know
the little battles, plans, and accomplishments we make along the way. This is a fact we must accept from
the beginning and we cannot let it detour us anywhere along the path to success. Not only do quality
results come from a strategic road to success, but the feeling one achieves after seeing the product of
their labor brings about a satisfaction like no other. It brings about an excitement and confidence in us
that will take us to a new level; ready to take on another goal or task with more courage and more
appreciation for good, old- fashioned hard work!

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Thinking Forward
Dont let yesterday use up too much of today. -Cherokee Indian Proverb
A mistake that many people make in their lives is constantly allowing the thoughts of past actions and
happenings to consume the present day. There are definitely issues in life that we must deal with and
not just simply ignore as if they didnt happen. Dealing with them and moving on is the key, though.
Spending too much time pondering on what was leaves us nowhere but spinning our wheels in reverse,
never allowing ourselves to see what potential we have right ahead of us. If we live in the past, both in
our failures and/or our accomplishments, we are missing out on so much of what can become of our
future. Some parts of life do take more time to move away from, but we must make every effort to keep
hold onto of memories, learn from mistakes, yet always purposely having forward thinking.
Forward thinking equals forward movement. We are here on this earth for a certain amount of time.
We have a beginning and we will have an end. It is our choice as to what we do in between. It is my firm
belief that we are on a journey and we should see life in that manner. Just as if we are traveling, we
must always be moving forward taking in as much of our surroundings as possible as we move from one
step to the next. Even taking snap shots here and there of those things that are memory-worthy as we
pass by. Now, I am not saying that we need to literally move from town to town in our life voyage. No,
our life journey is that of growth, improvement, and being the best we can be with the gifts that God
has given us. In order for this continuous maturation to occur in our lives, we must do the things that
we need to do, and keeping our eyes and mind towards the past is not one of them.
There are two main ways focusing on the past can slow our progress to our future destiny. Two
concepts I see as to why we do not have forward movement when we have reverse thinking. Number
one is that we are putting your time and energy into what you have done rather than what you are to
do. We are only allotted so much time and energy within that time. If most or even all of our energy is
still sightseeing what we did, said, heard, and felt in our previous days of living, then we have very little
towards energy to spend on what should be our progress ahead. The second reason for the slow
progression while looking at former times is that this keeps us in the mindset of the person of
yesterday rather than helping us remember we are working on becoming a new, more successful
person. How can we visualize ourselves reaching goals, aspirations, and becoming the person we strive
to be if we are always seeing the person weve been. Just glimpsing at what we were, and then starting
with the present day and looking forward to where we want to be is key for consistent personal
evolvement of ourselves.
Tomorrow is gone. Silently and quickly meditate on it in order to learn from it. Then look straight
forward into this beautiful gift God has given us called the present day and conquer it with confidence,
joy, and gratitude.

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Doing What We Say

"You can't build a reputation on what you are going to do. "-Henry Ford
What good is an intention without a follow through? Many times the difference between those that
experience more fulfillment, satisfaction and joy in life and those that do not is simply action. There are
many people in this world that make small and large claims in regards to what they plan to do or
achieve. Sometimes people spend the majority of their lives discussing, planning, and writing down their
hopes and dreams, but very little of their lives actually pursuing them.
Those that continue to ramble, but show little movement forward are often tuned out by others and
may even be seen as unreliable. There are only so many times one can proclaim their desires, plans and
goals without action before others decide the person will never do as they say. Those that continue to
speak only words will not build a solid reputation that allows them to stand out from the crowd and gain
admirable respect.
It is in doing that we gain respect from others. When people see someones words played out with
vitality, vigor, and progression, they tend to watch and listen to that individual. Our performance will
draw the attention of others, and many times inspire them to act on their life intentions as well. Our
efforts and achievements will bring us to great levels and put us in positions with the potential to grow
and succeed even more.
People know you and remember you for your successes, by your good works, and by the follow-through
that you display. To be looked upon as a person of integrity, we must step forth and put into action the
words that we speak.

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Thinking Positively in Difficult Times

Out of difficulties grow miracles. - Jean de la Bruyere
We were never promised that life would be easy, but how we approach the obstacles and hard times in
our life is what determines their ultimate outcome. Life has its fair share of troubles, sorrows, illnesses,
and disappointments, but time and time again within history and our own lives we will find that many of
our biggest and greatest breakthroughs come from these times. See, many of our advancements in life
can be directly linked to some of the worst moments we experience. Yet, I firmly believe that in order
for a progressive outcome to occur, a lot relies heavily on our attitudes, choices, and thoughts during
times of adversity.
I believe positivity brings us to a higher quality life. At the same time focusing on negativity will beget
even more undesirable people, places and things around us. We must make this phrase a staple in our
thoughts and words, Positive In, Positive Out, Positive Right Back At Ya. Is it difficult to remain positive
and without self-pity in extremely challenging times? Of course! That is why we must do it
intentionally. We literally have to teach ourselves to purposely keep our hope in God, ourselves,
humankind and life in general. It is all a part of mind renewal. There are many resources in this world
that can help us to combat all the fears, anger, and disappointment so negativity does not rule our lives.
My first choice, and what I suggest for all, is to use the Word of God to keep a hopeful attitude and
thought pattern in the forefront of our minds. There are also many more resource items are available to
help us as well.
Does this mean we should never talk about our problems, cry or show frustration and even anger? No,
I dont believe that at all. It is therapeutic at times to discuss what we are feeling, thinking and
questioning. Rather, allowing our resentments and sorrows to overtake us, will not allow for productive
healing to occur. Productive healing is when we allow ourselves to come to peace with what is
happening within our lives, and in turn learn to make good choices in hopes to move forward to a
grander place. We may not always receive answers to all our questions or wants from productive
healing, but from it can come advancement in our lives. It allows us to rise above the depths of our dark
valleys and trust that putting our hope in God will bring us what He knows we need. Sometimes He will
bring us to the ultimate desires of our hearts. Desires that we may not have even been aware were
there until they were revealed to us.
I, personally, have reacted both ways in difficult times in my life. I have allowed myself to be swallowed
in self-pity, infuriation, and depression during sorrow and suffering. On the other hand, I have faced
other spans of sorrow, trouble, and suffering in my life with great intention to remain positive and
hopeful while leaning on Faith. I have found that in the latter is where I have made great advancements
in regards to my character, relationships, business, and happiness. In the former approach, I continued
to go deeper and deeper into the pit with no signs of a breakthrough or miracle. Dont miss the miracles
in your life by being engulfed in difficulties. Instead, learn what you can from every situation and move
forward being hopeful of great things to come.

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Finding Quiet Time

I shut my eyes in order to see. Paul Gauguin
Too many people stay too busy or surround themselves with too much commotion and never take time
to simply step back and see the real purpose and meaning of life. Its probably safe to say that people
are busier now than in any other time in history. Many adults see their days quickly fly by with long
work hours, increasing childrens activities, endless social activities, and countless entertainment
available to us in modern society. When life was less busy, people and families would have more quiet
time in the evenings to reflect, pray, and be thankful for just the simple portions of life.
Our hectic schedules can cause us to be so engulfed in the exterior events of life including the many
stressors thrown our way, that we can lose sight of what lies below the surface. The heart and soul of
life should mean getting back to the basics of God, love, family, and relationships. Many times, we
become involved in multiple activities with the intention of improving all of these aspects. However, if
we do not allow ourselves to step back, relax, and meditate on some simplicity in life our busy lives can
easily backfire by forcing us to focus on those things that do not sustain and build us. Burying ourselves
in all sorts of activities and jumping from one thing to the next can produce so much stimuli that we fail
to visualize and feel truth and substance.
Every day we must make time to stop and block out the world in order to see and feel what truly
matters. Simply closing our eyes and ears for a few minutes will help us accomplish this task. For many,
including myself, mornings are the best times to have quiet time. Yes, it may mean getting up 15
minutes earlier than normal, but the benefits are so worthwhile. I personally started waking up earlier
about 5 years ago with the sole purpose to start my day off right. Almost every day I wake 2 hours
before starting my day so I can spend time finding my inner peace, confidence, love and stability. My
mind renewal in the morning begins with a devotional, bible passage, and prayer. From there, I often
will research and find quotes that will inspire, motivate and ground me before stepping out into the
craziness of this world. Since I started this practice, I have been able to handle the events, people,
triumphs, and challenges of the day in a much better manner and character than in the past. Allowing
myself time to see and feel the fundamental basics of just being, calms my mind and soul.
For me it is mornings. For others it may be evenings. Whatever time of day or multiple times a day, it is
crucial to find that place of peaceful darkness so we can see the light.

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Looking Within Ourselves

"We can never obtain peace in the outer world until we make peace with ourselves"-D Lama
The root of so much unhappiness is because we dont truly love and accept oneself. It's so easy to blame
others and the world's circumstances for our sadness and anger, yet much of our sorrow and anger
stems from being uncomfortable, insecure, timid, and the inability to forgive ourselves.
I am not saying that we should be all about ourselves. On the contrary, I believe the most joy we can
experience in life is giving of oneself and ones heart to others. However, if we do not make peace with
ourselves, our failings, and what has happened to us, we cannot truly love others as we should.
Gratitude for the world and the people within it can only come when we first find gratitude to God for
the miracle of our own life and the love and forgiveness He provides.
To be any good for this world, we must find ways to accept our weaknesses and build on our strengths.
We need to strive to learn from our failings by thoroughly seeking ways to turn them around to a form
of success. We are obligated to our creator and this world he has provided us, to make the best of who
we are. Our imperfections are a part of us, but should not dominate our lives.
Yes, all of this takes time, effort, and intentional thought. Turning negative into positive is not something
that comes easily to us as humans. Too often, it is our tendency to allow the unfavorable sides of our
personal thoughts, activities, appearance, and efforts to be our chief focus. The natural inclination of
most is to focus on what we cannot do, what weve done incorrectly, and where we are lacking. As a
result of our negative thoughts, we display the same pessimism towards the world.
We must fight this mind game with the power of positivity. We must do our best not to disregard our
flaws completely, but rather we must push them to the back. Tuning in on the good we have done, are
doing, and will be doing will enable us to find the serene confidence needed to make a difference in this
world. Then, and only then, can we reach out to others with a calm, giving, and open-minded demeanor
in order to do our part and find our place life. People, places and possessions do not give us peace.
Peace starts within.

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