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“One Man’s Opinion”
Part I
This is a note to all my men friends, associates and guys I don’t
even know; when you put your cologne on before you go out, DO
NOT use your right hand, I repeat, DO NOT use your right hand.
Here’s why, when you shake hands with someone else you, you put
your smell on their hands. If you’re like me and you shake hands with 20 or 30 people a night, your
hand winds up smelling like….. Well you know. Then, what do you do when you go to the bathroom?
Yes, you wind up washing your hands BEFORE you use the bathroom and then wash them again
afterwards. So remember, Your cologne may smell good on you, but everybody you shake hands
with doesn’t want to smell like you. OK? OK. Thank you very much.

Part II
So everybody wants to annex Southbridge. Savannah, Pooler and Garden City are all vying for the
opportunity to increase the size and population of their cities, not to mention their tax base. I hope
Savannah wins the contest. So the city can get some of that money out there to spend in the inner
city. Southbridge residents like those out here in Georgetown and other outlying communities, use
the city’s infrastructure all day and then go home. Yes, I know they pay property taxes but how about
the renters? Let’s get their money too. I think Savannah, should annex Southbridge and Georgetown
too. Especially Georgetown, this little pretend association with it’s less than desirable or competent
management staff should be the first to go. Yes, I live out there and I’m tired of them. (Sorry about
the rant). AnnnyWayyy, I’m not sure, are The Landings part of Savannah proper? If not let’s take
The Landings too. While we’re it, why not annex Richmond Hill and Hardeeville? I say Richmond Hill
because highway 204 is probably the busiest highway into and out of the city during the morning and
afternoon rush hours. I suggest Hardeeville, just because it’s there and it’ll get us closer to Hilton
Head. Yes, Daufuskie we’re coming for you too.

Just a word of advice, Tybee Island your days are numbered, even now we just let you Think you’re
running things out there. What would happened if we shut down the highway, huh? Yep, we’ve got
you. Port Wentworth, Bloomingdale and Vernonburg we’re coming to get you too. All you little towns
and communities just beware, when you wake up one morning, all your street signs will be changed.
Your town and city halls will be recreation centers and your city / community staff and officers will be
absorbed and reassigned. Other government buildings and equipment will be sold on Ebay. Our
growth plan is based on the Borg Philosophy, “Resistance is Futile. You Will Be Assimilated”.

Just, One Man’s Opinion.

“Live Long and Prosper”

Ronald A. Gilliard, Publisher

Thanks Savannah, for over 11 Years of the HOT SPOT!
Laughs
God vs. Satan
And God populated the Earth with broccoli and cauliflower and
spinach and green and yellow vegetables of all kinds, so Man
and Woman would live long and healthy lives.
And Satan created McDonald's. And McDonald's brought forth
the 99-cent double cheeseburger.
And Satan said to Man "You want fries with that?" And Man
said, "Super size them". And Man gained pounds.
And God created the healthful yogurt, that woman might keep
her figure that Man found so fair.
And Satan froze the yogurt, and he brought forth chocolate, nuts
and brightly colored sprinkle candy to put on the yogurt. And
woman gained pounds.
And God said "Try my crispy fresh salad."
And Satan brought forth creamy dressings, bacon bits and
shredded cheese.
And there was ice cream for dessert. And Woman gained
pounds.
And God said "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and
olive oil with which to cook them."
And Satan brought forth chicken-fried steak from Cracker Bar-
rel so big it needed its own platter. And Man gained pounds, and
his bad cholesterol went through the roof.
And God brought forth running shoes, and Man resolved to lose
those extra pounds.
And Satan brought forth cable TV with remote control so Man
would not have to toil to change channels between ESPN and
ESPN2. And Man gained pounds.
And God said "You are running up the score, Devil." And God
brought forth the potato, a vegetable naturally low in fat and
brimming with nutrition.
And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy
center into chips and deep-fried them. And he created sour
cream dip also. And Man clutched his remote control and ate the
potato chips swaddled in cholesterol. And Satan saw and said "It
is good."
And Man went into cardiac arrest.
And God sighed and created quadruple by-pass surgery...
And Satan created HMOs...
Laughs
A man arrives at the pearly gates, waiting to be ad-
mitted. St. Peter is reading through the Big Book to
see if the guy's name is written in it. After several
minutes, St. Peter closes the book, furrows his brow,
and says, "I'm sorry, I don't see your name written in
the Book."
"How current is your copy?" he asks.
"I get a download every ten minutes," St. Peter re-
plies, "Why do you ask?"
"I'm embarrassed to admit it, but I was always the
stubborn type. It was not until my death was immi-
nent that I cried out to God, so my name probably
hasn't arrived to your copy yet."
"I'm glad to hear that," Pete says, "but while we're
waiting for the update to come through, can tell me
about a really good deed that you did in your life."
The guys thinks for a moment and says, "Hmm, well
there was this one time when I was driving down a
road and I saw a giant group of biker gang members
harassing this poor girl. I slowed down, and sure
enough, there they were, about 20 of 'em torturing
this poor woman. Infuriated, I got out of my car,
grabbed a tire iron out of my trunk, and walked up to
the leader of the gang.
"He was a huge guy; 6-foot-4, 260 pounds, with a
studded leather jacket and a chain running from his
nose to his ears. As I walked up to the leader, the bik-
ers formed a circle around me and told me to get lost
or I'd be next. So I ripped the leader's chain out of his
face and smashed him over the head with the tire
iron.
"Then I turned around and yelled to the rest of them,
'Leave this poor innocent girl alone! You're all a
bunch of SICK, deranged animals! Go home before I
really teach you a lesson in PAIN!'"
St. Peter, duly impressed, says "Wow! When did this
happen?"
"About three minutes ago
 For Advertising in the For Advertising in the
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Gary (843) 226-8829 Denny (912) 428-3701

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Laughs

Engineering classes at the

University of Maryland are
tough, and struggling students
sometimes go to extremes in
order to pass. Grading exams
one semester, I got to this
question: "What is the rela-
tionship between kinetic and
potential energy?"

One student, obviously

stumped, decided to get clever
and wrote, "As far as I know,
they're just friends, but there
could be something else going
on there."
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You know what You’re doing, but Nobody else does.
Laughs
Patient says, "Doc, you must check my leg.
Something's wrong. Just put your ear up to
my thigh, you'll hear it!"
The doctor cautiously places his ear to the
man's thigh only to hear, "Give me $10! I'm
desperate! I need $10!"
"I've never seen or heard anything like this
before! How long has this been going on?"
the doctor asked.
"That's nothing, Doc. Put your ear to my
knee."
The doctor put his ear to the man's knee and
heard it say, "Please! I really need $5! Just
$5! Please! I'm desperate!"
"Sir, I really don't know what to tell you. I've
never seen anything like this." The doctor
was truly dumbfounded.
"Wait, Doc, that's not all of it. There's more.
Just put your ear down on my ankle," the
man urged him.
The doctor did as the man said and was
amazed to hear his ankle plead, "Please, I
just need $20! Please lend me $20, please! I
am really desperate!"
"I have no idea what to tell you," the doctor
said. "There's nothing about it in any of my
books," he said as he frantically searched all
his medical reference books. "However... I
can make a well-educated guess.
Based on life and all my previous experi-
ences, I can tell you with some certainty, that
your leg seems to be broke in three places."
Laughs
I had eighteen bottles of whiskey in my cellar
and was told by my wife that I had a drinking
problem, and to empty the contents of each and
every bottle down the sink, or else. I said I
would and proceeded with the unpleasant task.
I withdrew the cork from the first bottle and
poured the contents down the sink with the ex-
ception of one glass, which I drank.
I then withdrew the cork from the second bottle
and did likewise with it, with the exception of
one glass, which I drank.
I then withdrew the cork from the third bottle
and poured the whiskey down the sink which I
drank.
I pulled the cork from the fourth bottle down the
sink and poured the bottle down the glass, which
I drank.
I pulled the bottle from the cork of the next and
drank one sink out of it, and threw the rest down
the glass.
I pulled the sink out of the next glass and poured
the cork down the bottle. Then I corked the sink
with the glass, bottled the drink and drank the
pour.
When I had everything emptied, I steadied the
house with one hand, counted the glasses, corks,
bottles, and sinks with the other, which were
twenty-nine, and as the houses came by I
counted them again, and finally I had all the
houses in one bottle, which I drank.
I'm not under the affluence of incohol as some
thinkle peep I am. I'm not half as thunk as you
might drink. I fool so feelish I don't know who is
me, and the drunker I stand here, the longer I
get.
MORE AROUND TOWN
Laughs
I wanted to buy a CD player, but was completely
perplexed by one model's promotional sign. So I
called the salesclerk over and asked, "What does
'hybrid pulse D/A converter' mean?"
He said, "That means that this machine will read
the digital information that is encoded on CDs and
convert it into an audio signal."
"In other words," I said, "this CD player plays
CDs."
"Exactly."
My wife has not spoken to me in three days. I
think it has something to do with what happened
on Sunday night when she thought she heard a
noise downstairs. She nudged me and whispered,
"Wake up, wake up!" "What's the matter?" I
asked.
"There are burglars in the kitchen. I think they're
eating the tuna casserole I made tonight."
"That'll teach them!" I replied.
A lawyer named Strange died, and his friend
asked the tombstone maker to inscribe on his
tombstone, "Here lies Strange, an honest man, and
a lawyer."
The inscriber insisted that such an inscription
would be confusing, for passersby would tend to
think that three men were buried under the stone.
However he suggested an alternative: He would
inscribe, "Here lies a man who was both honest
and a lawyer."
That way, whenever anyone walked by the tomb-
stone and read it, they would be certain to remark:
"That's Strange!"
Laughs
A Little Mixed Up
Just a line to say I'm living,
That I'm not among the dead.
Though I'm getting more forgetful
And more mixed up in the head.
For sometimes I can't remember,
When I stand at foot of stairs,
If I must go up for something,
Or if I've just come down from there.
And before the fridge so often
My poor mind is filled with doubt
Have I just put food away?...or
Have I come to take some out?
And there's times when it is dark out,
With my night cap on my head
I don't know if I'm retiring
Or just getting out of bed.
So...if it's my turn to write you
There's no need of getting sore,
I may think that I have written
And don't want to be a bore!!
So, remember..I do love you
And I wish that you were here,
But now it's nearly mail time,
So I must say good-bye my dear.
There I stood beside the mail box
With a face so very red
Instead of mailing you my letter,
I had opened it instead!!
My bifocals fit - my dentures are fine
My hearing aid works...but ..I do miss my
mind!!!
MORE AROUND TOWN
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On the HOT SPOT Channel
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Laughs Laughs

For all of us who are married, were married, wish you were
married, or wish you weren't married, this is something to smile
about the next time you open a bottle of wine.
Sally was driving home from one of her business trips in North-
ern Arizona when she saw an elderly Navajo woman walking on
the side of the road. As the trip was a long and quiet one, she
stopped the car and asked the Navajo woman if she would like a
ride.
A couple just started their Lamaze class and
they were given an activity requiring the hus-
band to wear a bag of sand - to give him an
idea of what it feels like to be pregnant. The
husband stood up and shrugged saying, "This
doesn't feel so bad."

With a silent nod of thanks, the woman got into the car. Resum- The instructor then dropped a pen and asked
ing the journey, Sally tried in vain to make a bit of small talk the husband to pick it up.
with the Navajo woman. The old woman just sat silently, look-
ing intently at everything she saw, studying every little detail,
until she noticed a brown bag on the seat next to Sally. "You want me to pick up the pen as if I were
pregnant, the way my wife would do it?" the
"What's in the bag?" asked the old woman.
husband asked.
Sally looked down at the brown bag and said, "It's a bottle of
wine...got it for my husband." The Navajo woman was silent for
another moment or two. Then speaking with the quiet wisdom
"Exactly," replied the instructor.
of an elder, she said, "Good trade."
To the delight of the other husbands, he
turned to his wife and said, "Honey, pick up
that pen for me."
Laughs Laughs
A Woman's Random Thoughts
NASA's Ballpoint Pen
If you love something, set it free.
If it comes back, it will always be yours.
During the heat of the space race in the
If it doesn't come back, it was never yours to begin
with. 1960's, NASA decided it needed a ball point
pen to write in the zero gravity confines of its
But, if it just sits in your living room, messes up your space capsules.
stuff, eats your food, uses your telephone, takes your
money, and doesn't appear to realize that you had set After considerable research and development,
it free... You either married it or gave birth to it.
the Astronaut Pen was developed at a cost of
Insanity is my only means of relaxation. $1 million U.S. The pen worked and also en-
joyed some modest success as a novelty item
Reason to smile: Every 7 minutes of every day, back here on earth.
someone in an aerobics class pulls a hamstring.
The Soviet Union, faced with the same prob-
Women over 50 don't have babies because they
lem, used a pencil.
would put them down and forget where they left
them.

One of life's mysteries is how a 2 pound box of candy

can make a woman gain 5 lbs.
 HOT SPOT MAZE

SUDOKU
The rules of Sudoku are simple. Enter
digits from 1 to 9 into the
blank spaces. Every row must contain
one of each digit. So must
every column, as must every 3x3
square. Each Sudoku has a
unique solution that can be reached
logically without guessing.
The Solution is at the end of the Book.
No Peeking.
 Laughs

Child Rearing FAQ

Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.

Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?

A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.

Q: How will I know if my vomiting is morning sickness or

the flu?
A: If it's the flu, you'll get better.

Q: What is the most common pregnancy craving?

A: For men to be the ones who get pregnant.

Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's

sex?
A: Childbirth.

Q: The more pregnant I get, the more often strangers smile at

me. Why?
A: 'Cause you're fatter than they are.

Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that

sometimes she's borderline irrational.
A: So what's your question?

Q: How long is the average woman in labor?

A: Whatever she says divided by two.

Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during

labor, but pressure. Is she right?
Sudoku Solution A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air
current.

Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?

A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.

Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room

while my wife is in labor?
A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.

Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from

childbirth?
A: Yes, pregnancy.

Q: Does pregnancy cause hemorrhoids?

A: Pregnancy causes anything you want to blame it for.

Q: What does it mean when a baby is born with teeth?

A: It means that the baby's mother may want to rethink her
plans to nurse.

Q: What is the best time to wean the baby from nursing?

A: When you see teeth marks.

Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?

A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.
1998-2010