Professional Documents
Culture Documents
The
11
Laws
of
Likability
Relationship Networking
Because People Do Business with People They Like
by Michelle Tillis Lederman
QUICK OVERVIEW
Schmoozingthe word, just like the actions behind it, seems phony. Sure, you want
people to like you, but does getting people to like you require putting on a mask and
pretending to be something youre not? Does it require schmoozing? Absolutely not,
says author Michelle Tillis Lederman. In The 11 Laws of Likability, Lederman explains
you have a much better chance of connecting with others if your actions, thoughts and
words are authentic to you.
Ultimately, Ledermans book is about networkingconnecting with others in a
meaningful way. But to attain that goal, she challenges readers to first examine their
behaviors and attitudes. Once you get your mindset in check, she shows you how to
engage people in conversations and eventually establish long-term relationships. The
11 lawsauthenticity, self-image, perception, energy, curiosity, listening, similarity,
mood memory, familiarity, giving and patiencework together to create an effective,
natural system for creating and maintaining relationships. This summary focuses on
four of the 11 laws: authenticity, self-image, energy and familiarity.
With practical applications and real-life stories that make these laws tangible,
this book is engaging and extremely helpful. If you ever feel like youre forcing
conversations or missing out on networking opportunities, youll appreciate the tools
youll find in The 11 Laws of Likability.
Page 1
AMACOM
2012, Michelle Tillis Lederman
ISBN: 9780814416372
226 pages, $16.95
SUCCESS Points
In this book youll learn:
You dont have to be an
extrovert to be a great
networker
H
ow to approach
new people and start
conversations
To what extent your
perception shapes your
reality
How your energy affects the
people around you
How to continue the
conversation after the
networking event
Page 2
can work on driving that energy rather than having it drive us. In
other words, know what energy is most useful to bring to a given
situation or when dealing with a specific person, and get yourself to
that optimal place so that you can better influence the outcome.
The
Book11Title
Laws of Likability
energy persona is naturally boisterous and you find that you are
often at the center of conversations in networking situations,
you may want to show that you can also be a good listener. If you
more naturally assume a thoughtful, measured approach, look for
opportunities to display how you can drive conversations too. By
expanding the limits of when and how we can emit our authentic
energy, we increase our potential for making and building
meaningful connections.
Page 5
Here is just a short list of some of the things I may learn about
someone during a conversation and that could become part of my
follow-up communication later:
Upcoming work event, client meeting, training, conference,
or workshop
Alma mater or favorite sports teams recent game or
newsworthy event
Upcoming vacation destination or staycation plans
Battling an illness/aiding a sick parent, spouse, friend, or child
New baby arrived or on the way; announcement of whether its
a boy or a girl
The persons own birthday or childs birthday; plans to attend
or throw a birthday party
Dont worry that the topic you settle on might be
unrelated to your common interest, or even if it refers to
a small detail that was part of a much larger conversation.
Following up with a congratulatory message is a simple
way to show other people that you were thinking of them,
and it increases familiarity and the positive mood memory
associated with your shared connection.
CONCLUSION
Likability is more than a nice idea, or a concept of which
you should stay mindfulit is an approach to your life and
the people in it. The point isnt for you to like everyone
and for everyone to like you. Instead, the point is to create
meaningful connections that strengthen your relationships,
your self-awareness, your productivity, and inevitably, your
results. Apply the laws with openness and authenticity in
mind, and you will become more connected.
SUCCESS.com SUCCESS BOOK SUMMARIES
The
Book11Title
Laws of Likability
ACTION STEPS
Recommended Reading
If you enjoyed this summary of The 11 Laws of
Likability, you may also want to check out:
Love Is the Killer App by Tim Sanders
People Buy You by Jeb Blount
How to Win Friends and Influence People
by Dale Carnegie
Page 6
2012 SUCCESS Media. All rights reserved. Materials may not be reproduced in whole or in part
in any form without prior written permission. Published by SUCCESS Media, 200 Swisher Rd.,
Lake Dallas, TX 75065, USA. SUCCESS.com.
Summarized by permission of the publisher, AMACOM. The 11 Laws of Likability by Michelle
Tillis Lederman 2012 by Michelle Tillis Lederman.