Professional Documents
Culture Documents
In this week's Parsha, we find the mitzvah of tochachah, giving rebuke to our fellow
Jew. R' Yaakov Kaminetsky in the Emes L'yaakovi develops some beautiful ideas
regarding this mitzvah of tochachah. He explains as follows: Some people think the
wants every Jew to keep the Torah. Therefore, every person should watch over his
fellow Jews to help ensure that they keep the Torah in order for Hashem's plan for the
world to be fulfilled in a better way. Reb Yaakov says he thinks that is a mistake. The
mitzvah of tochachah is Bein Adam L'chaveiro. Every Jew has a job to help his
.fellow Jew keep the Torah, not for Hashem's sake, but for his friend's sake
Reb Yaakov points out that the Torah mentions the mitzvah of tochachah right in the
(middle of other Mitzvot Bein Adam L'chaveiro. The Torah writes (Perek 19
lo selech rochil b'amecha" then "lo sisna achicha bilvavecha" then "hocheach"
tochiach", and then "lo sikom" and "lo sitor" and "v'ahavta l'reacha kamocha".
Clearly, R' Yaakov explains, by placing this mitzvah right in the middle of other
Mitzvoth Bein Adam L'chaveiro, the Torah is teaching us that the yesod of hoche’ach
Reb Yaakov quotes the Rambam (Hilchos Deos, Perek 6 Halacha 7) where the
Rambam writes as follows: When one gives his friend rebuke regarding a mitzvah
Bein Adam L'makom or Bein Adam L'chaveiro, he should rebuke him with soft
language. Then the Rambam continues "v'yodio"- and inform him, "she'eino omer lo
ela l'tovaso"- that he (the one giving rebuke) is saying this for his (the listener's)
benefit. It is a striking language that part of one's rebuke has to include that he
informs the other person that he is saying this for his benefit. Reb Yaakov interprets
this to mean that this is a condition for the proper fulfillment of tochachah. If one
wants to fulfill the mitzvah of tochachah properly, he has to convince the person he is
speaking to that he is saying this for his benefit. This fits with the notion that
tochachah is a mitzvah Bein Adam L'chaveiro; I'm trying to help the other person, to
This is actually quite a challenge for one who wants to give others rebuke. He has to
try to find the right language so that it is clear that he is genuinely trying to help the
.other person
Reb Yaakov goes on to use this idea to explain a difficult word in Chumash Breishis.
Back in Parshas Vayetzei (Breishis 29,4), Yaakov Avinu comes to the well and he
sees shepherds there, and they are not working. Yaakov says to them "achai"- my
brothers, "me’ayin atem"- where are you from? The word "achai" is very strangeii.
Why does Yaakov refer to the other shepherds as my brothers? He didn't know who
they were, they were strangers to him?? Reb Yaakov explains as follows: Yaakov
Avinu knew he was about to give these shepherds rebuke, tochachah, for not doing
their work. But Yaakov understood that in order to give proper tochachach, he has to
convince the listeners that he is saying it for their benefit. So Yaakov Avinu was
trying to create a relationship and say "my brothers, I feel a closeness to you, I want to
have a connection to you". That is how Yaakov begins. Only then, once he has
.beautiful explanation for why Yaakov starts with the word "achai"- my brothers
If one follows RebYaakov's approach, then when one gives tochachah, he will
attempt to convince the listener he is trying to help him. A good test for how well one
gives tochachah is as follows: When one finishes giving tochachah, if the tochachah
has been given properly, the listener will say "thank you". That is the goal of the
mochiach, that is the goal of the rebuker, that the listener will say thank you. Based on
,Good Shabbos
B. Ginsburg
Vayikra 19,17; Breishis 29,4i
ii
Not strange as in weird, but rather strange as in striking.