WHAT GOD EXPECTS AND COMMANDS

HUSBANDS AND WIVES TO BE

I.

Marriage

Matthew 19:4-6 And [Jesus] answered and said to them, "Have you not read that He who made them at
the beginning 'made them male and female,' and said, 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and
mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'? So then, they are no longer two but
one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate."
God expects and commands that when two people marry that they should no longer be controlled by their
parents. When a man and woman marry they are to remain together till God separates them by death.
They are to forsake all others and remain sexually faithful to each other.
Marriage was established by God on the sixth day of Creation. (Genesis 1 & 2.) The woman was created
from the man and for the man. The woman was the first to sin (disobey God's command). Because of
these things, to the woman [God] said, in Genesis 3:16, "I will greatly multiply your sorrow and your
conception; in pain you shall bring forth children; Your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall
rule over you."

I Corinthians 11:8-9 For man is not from woman, but woman from man. Nor was man created for the
woman, but woman for the man.

I Corinthians 11:11-12 Nevertheless, neither is man independent of woman, nor woman independent of
man, in the Lord. For as the woman was from the man, even so the man also is through the woman; but
all things are from God.
We are to be companions, not competitors.
God designed both husbands and wives for equality and submission. (Genesis 1:27 So God created man
in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.) The moral,
intellectual, and spiritual capabilities of men and women are equal. We are of equal value in God's sight.
Jesus died for both the husband and his wife. We are equal in our ability to develop a relationship with
God.

II.

Wives
Submit to your husband. Voluntarily.

Ephesians 5:22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.

Ephesians 5:24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands
in everything.

Ephesians 5:33 ... and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
Never bad mouth your husband or wife to other people..Tell your worries to God.

III.

Husbands

Ephesians 5:23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of
the body.

Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for it.

Ephesians 5:28-29 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife
loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does
the church.
God intended that men lead in the home. The wife is to follow his leadership. God is not pleased with the
house where the husband does not have or does not develop the ability to lead. God is not pleased where
the wife is rebellious to her husband's role of authority. The wife should place her husband in the position
of leadership and by her words and actions keep him in that function.

There are many men who have abused their position of leadership. They have ruled over their house
rather than led in their house. They act like a king, but do not treat the wife like a queen. Husbands must
learn to be the head without being a dictator.
From Ephesians 5 we can learn that the example for the husband's leadership is the self-denying love of
Christ. The husband is told to love his wife as Christ loves the church. God expects the husband to be
unselfish, caring, gentle, and willing to give up his life for his wife. Such a man would not be hard for his
wife to love and to serve.

Colossians 3:19 Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter toward them.
God forbids husbands from being harsh with their wives.

I Peter 3:7 Likewise you husbands, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to
the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be
hindered.
Husbands are to lead with consideration, kindness, and self-denial. The husband is expected to
remember that his wife also is promised eternal life through Jesus Christ. When a man is unkind
and disrespectful to his wife, then God pays less attention to his prayers.
As leader in the household, God has made the husband responsible. The husband is responsible for the
protection of his wife and children. He is responsible for providing for the needs of his family. He is
responsible for the spiritual leadership in the home. God will never hold a wife responsible for a poor
decision of her husband.
A husband is to love and lead. To lead without loving is selfish immaturity. To love without leading
is irresponsible.
Let us consider how important decisions can be made within a family. This will help us to see how God
expects a husband to treat his wife.

IV.

1.

The dictatorial model: The husband will not likely consult his wife when an important decision
needs to be made. If he does consult her, he will ignore her opinions.

2.

The democratic model: The husband will have a long discussion with his wife when an important
decision needs to be made. Hopefully, they will reach an agreement that is satisfactory to both of
them. If they cannot agree, serious problems may arise when each demands their own way. They
may choose to go their separate ways.

3.

The biblical model: When an important decision needs to be made, the couple will have a long
discussion about the problem and pray about it, asking for the Lord's guidance. Each spouse will
be deeply concerned about what is best for the other. They will likely reach an agreement out of
respect for each other. If they cannot agree, the wife will submit to the husband's opinion. His
decision will be based heavily on the interests and needs of his wife. He will consider her needs
above his own, just as Christ considered the needs of the church before His own.

Christians
Husbands, be proud of your wivesmake them feel beautifulencourage them to be beautiful not for you alone
but for herself also. Wives, be beautiful because you are Gods creation but do not use your beauty for deceit or
malice.
I Thessalonians 5:11 Therefore comfort each other and build one another up, just as you also are doing.
A husband and wife should be building each other up. This is the opposite of tearing each other
down. It is wrong when we discourage our spouse. Let us be encouraging each other.
Husbands and wives must treat each other as Christian brothers and sisters. Bestfriends.

Colossians 3:12-17 Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness,
humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering; bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if
anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do. But above all
these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection. And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to
which also you were called in one body; and be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all
wisdom, teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with
grace in your hearts to the Lord. And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord
Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.
God expects you to treat your wife as Christ would treat your wife. God expects you to treat your husband
as Christ would treat your husband. Let us learn to be better Christians in our own homes. Let us treat

our spouse first as a brother or sister in the Lord. Only with that kind of relationship can come the kind of
love that God commands. With this Christian love we can develop the full marital relationship that God
has designed for us to experience.
The Christian husband-wife relationship is best seen when both the husband and the wife are easy to live
with and each tries to help the other be all that he or she can be for Christ.