Why Have Mother’s Day?

to replicate biological parenthood as closely

as possible.
By Dr. Jennifer Roback Morse
In addition to identifying a particular woman
Published May 12, 2010, at the Chuck
as a child’s mother, the law excludes all
Colson Center for Christian Worldview
other women. The nice lady next door, your
second grade teacher, no matter how dear
Well, we have survived another Mother’s
they may be, these women are not your
Day. But what is the holiday really all about,
mother. The law recognizes one woman, and
besides an excuse to sell chocolates, flowers,
excludes all others, as mother of the child.
greeting cards and a bit of guilt? Why
should we “celebrate” motherhood, when
WHY EXCLUSIVE PARENTAL RIGHTS
motherhood itself is under attack, or at least,
MAKE SENSE
undergoing some kind of cultural
As a woman who has given birth to a child,
renovation?
who has been an adoptive mother, and who
has been a foster mother, I think I know
The term “mother” is a natural concept: a
what I’m talking about here. It really
mother is the female parent, the woman who
wouldn’t have been good for our son for us
gave birth to a child. This word, “mother,” is
to share parental rights with his birth mother
perfectly intelligible to the whole human
in Romania. And we actually did kind of
race. If we ask, “who is this child’s
share parental rights with the birth parents
mother?” the natural answer is, “the woman
and the social workers when we were foster
who gave birth to the child.”
parents. The birth parents did not have
custody of their children, but they still had
When the mother cannot take care of the
the right to see their children.
child for some reason, Western society has
created adoption as a way of helping the
We had to take care of the kids on a daily
child. When a child is adopted, the child
basis, even though we didn’t have parental
receives a new set of parents who have
rights. We got to listen to parents second-
complete parental rights. We don’t let the
guessing our parenting decisions, even
biological mother keep some rights, and
parents who were making supervised phone
pass out some rights to the adoptive parents.
calls from jail. It was a big deal for me to
Western law has traditionally done its best
obtain temporary rights to make education
decisions. The social workers had the final
Dr. Jennifer Roback Morse • 663 S. Rancho Santa Fe Road Suite 222 San Marcos CA 92078
www.jennifer-roback-morse.com • email: drj@jennifer-roback-morse.com • 760/295-9278
©2007 No part of this document may be reproduced or disseminated in any way without the expressed written consent of the
Ruth Institute.
say so about health care and other things,
even though the social workers didn’t have
day to day contact with the children. Sharing
parental rights is a mess really, something to
be done only in dire circumstances, not
something to be made normal or routine.
ADULT DESIRES COMPETING WITH
A CHILD'S NEEDS
But the legal system is changing the very
idea of motherhood, at the urging of the Sex
Law Radicals. This is only in part due to the
desires for same sex couples to have
children. A whole variety of people would
like parental rights, without making
commitments to the child’s other natural
parent. So motherhood and fatherhood must
be redefined to accommodate these adult
desires.
Motherhood need not be an exclusive status,
they say. The Sex Radicals who authored
Beyond Same Sex Marriage believe that
“Committed, loving households in which
there is more than one conjugal partner,”
and “Queer couples who decide to jointly
create and raise a child with another queer
person or couple, in two households” are
just as worthy of public recognition and
support as any other households.
Children can have multiple parents, with
different sets of rights and responsibilities
toward them. Listen to law professor
Dr. Jennifer Roback Morse • 663 S. Rancho Santa Fe Road Suite 222 San Marcos CA 92078
www.jennifer-roback-morse.com • email: drj@jennifer-roback-morse.com • 760/295-9278
©2007 No part of this document may be reproduced or disseminated in any way without the expressed written consent of the
Ruth Institute.
Melanie Jacobs, for instance, in the abstract
to her article, Why Just Two?
Disaggregating Traditional Parental
Rights and Responsibilities to Recognize
Multiple Parents:
“At present, the establishment of legal
parentage entails all of the responsibilities of
parentage, such as financial and medical
support, and all of the benefits, such as the
right to custody and visitation. By delinking
and disaggregating all of these rights and
responsibilities, more than two individuals
may hold the designation of "legal parent"
yet each can make different contributions. I
suggest that disaggregating parentage should
allow for recognition of all the relevant
adults in a child's life, yet not grant equal
parental rights to all individuals, unless
specifically agreed upon.”
Just like the foster kids. Great idea,
professor.
EVERY CHILD A FOSTER CHILD?
By the time the Sex Law Radicals are done
redefining marriage and parenthood, every
child will be a foster child, attached to adults
by the sufferance of the state. Biological
parents need not have any particular status
relative to other adults who may be hanging
around. And the adults who actually do the
work of parenting may or may not be able to
become the exclusive parents, since the
function of excluding people from parental
status will be irretrievably blurred.
Of course, recognizing the unique status of
the woman who gave us birth does not
dishonor the many other women whom we
celebrate on Mother’s Day. This holiday is
first and foremost one of gratitude to the
women who have nurtured us in a multitude
of ways. People honor their aunts and
grandmothers, their big sisters and their
godmothers, their stepmothers and their
special friends.
Jennifer Roback Morse, Ph.D. is an
economist and the Founder and President of
the Ruth Institute, a nonprofit educational
organization devoted to bringing hope and
encouragement for lifelong married love.
She is also the author of Love and
Economics: It Takes a Family to Raise a
Village and Smart Sex: Finding Life-Long
Love in a Hook-Up World.

We choose whom we honor, based on what

they have done for us. Mother’s Day is a
celebration of feminine nurturing, in all its
forms. This is why it is quite possible for
Mother’s Day to have meaning, even if your
mother is no longer living, even if you
yourself have no children.

But we decide whom to honor, from our

own perspective as adults. Allowing the
government to disaggregate parenthood is
not a service to children, or to human
liberty. The government is trying to redefine
parenthood, at the urging of the Sex Law
Radicals. I don’t believe anyone is going to
be happy with the outcome, with the
possible exception of the governmental
officials who will come to make their livings
from redefining and regulating other
people’s lives. The decent thing to do is to
leave motherhood alone.
Dr. Jennifer Roback Morse • 663 S. Rancho Santa Fe Road Suite 222 San Marcos CA 92078
www.jennifer-roback-morse.com • email: drj@jennifer-roback-morse.com • 760/295-9278
©2007 No part of this document may be reproduced or disseminated in any way without the expressed written consent of the
Ruth Institute.