Contents
♥The Top 5 Things that Grooms
Preface
Part I - Insight:
♥A Picture is Worth 1000 Words –
Kricia Morris
♥For the Love of Men and a Free
Spirit – Anna Coker, LPC, LCAS-P
(licensed counselor and addictions
specialist)
♥Handmade + DIY Wedding Love –
Emma Arendoski –
♥Heels Down – Amy McKay Rodriguez
♥Four Things to Know Before You
Plan Your Fairytale Wedding -
Amanda Roquemore-
♥The Chocolate Fountain Was a Hit –
Alex Remon
♥Don’t Go Plain White Shoes –
Nora K. Gonzalez
♥I Took The Cheap Photographer
Route – Lauren Grove – Every Last
Detail
♥My Mother-in-Law, My Friend –
Sally
♥The Ultimate Post-Honeymoon
Buzz Kill – Kate Washington –
♥The Wedding Is a Day, the Marriage
Is a Lifetime – Sandy Philpott –
♥Mother of the Bride – Denée King –
Part II – Information:
Wish They Had Known Before the
Wedding - Chris Easter
♥Simple, Online Solution to the
Married Name-Change Nightmare! –
Liz McGinty and Gina
♥Tight Shoes? Who Knew? –
Kimberly Leatherdale
♥Wedding Hair Disaster –
Renee C. Krejci
♥Dr. Romance's 7 Things to
Consider Before Moving in Together
or Making Emotional and Financial
Commitments: - Tina B. Tessina,
PhD, (aka "Dr. Romance")-
Part III – Humor:
♥Seized by a Greek Mother-in-law –
Robin Q. Daumit
♥My Big Fat Swedish Honeymoon –
Lena Carpelan
♥Where Are My Clothes? –
Kenya Hegazy
♥Investigate Before You Set a Date –
Stu Gray
♥Let Them Eat Cake – Denée King –
Part IV – Short and Sweet
♥Snipets of Wisdom -
Sharon Gilchrest ONeill, Ed.S., LMFT –
Michelle R. Morton
Marty Babbington
Jann Foy
Lynn Blumenfeld
 Preface

If knowledge is power, then after reading these stories of What I Wish I'd
Known Before The Wedding, you are certain to feel more powerful in
preparing yourself for that "one perfect day" and for all the days to follow. The
personal experiences shared by these writers are told with humor and candor
but are rich with insight, information, and inspiration.
We are honored to be able to share our own unique glimpses into the past but
with a focus on new beginnings…from this day forward. ♥
 A Picture is Worth 1000 Words
by Kricia Morris
On April 30, 2005 I married my amazing
husband Matthew after months of planning,
phone calls, vendor meetings and scouring
online sources. I remember the downpour of
rain that cascaded down on me and my
bridesmaids as we left the hair salon. I
remember the red clay that caked the tires of
our guests as they parked outside our backyard
gathering. I remember that my wedding cake
was not the flavor that I ordered. What I don't
remember about my wedding day however,
was anything else! If there is anything that I
can express to upcoming brides and grooms it
would absolutely be the importance of finding a
wedding photographer who will capture not
only your family portraits, but your details, your
memories and your personality to remember
for a lifetime.
I don't think any bride truly realizes how
quickly their wedding day flies by. They plan a
beautiful fairytale day that has been in their
minds since they were little girls, and all of a
sudden, the bubbles are flying and the getaway
car is sweeping you away to your honeymoon.
Where did those moments go? That is where a
wedding photographer can save the day.
Weeks after the flowers have wilted and the
dress has been packed away a bride can turn
back to their wedding album and relive the
memories of their wedding day in full, colorful
and dramatic detail. That is, IF they selected
the correct photographer for them in the
beginning.
When I look back at my personal wedding
photos I see a collection of technically sound
shots that are unfortunately entirely lacking in
emotion. The standards are there with the
family shots, the obligatory first kiss and the
clinking glasses of the first toast. Beyond that,
my photos are lacking in creativity, originality
and most importantly the life that was such an
integral part of my wedding day. I truly feel that
the outcome of my photos is nobody's fault but
my own however. I was on a very strict budget
(who isn't these days!?) and I settled. I located
the first photographer who would do what I
asked and booked them without even asking to
see a wedding portfolio. Today's bride is
definitely more educated with online resources
and countless wedding magazines, so I don't
expect many make that same mistake.
However, one mistake that is commonly made
is that brides book based on price, not on
connection.
I took my experience as a bride and have
subsequently turned it into a career in wedding
and lifestyle portrait photography. I pride
myself on the fact that I connect with my
clients. Living in Hawaii, I work in a
predominantly destination environment and I
know that face to face meetings aren't typically
feasible. However, with options such as
Facebook, IM, Skype and good old telephone
conversations I see no reason why my brides
can't enter their wedding days comfortable and
secure in the fact that I know them, I know
what they want in their images, and they're
confident that I will be able to deliver on their
expectations. Brides please take a lesson from
a former bride who has learned from her
mistakes; PLEASE find a vendor that you love.
A vendor that by the end of the night feels more
like a member of the family than the hired help,
someone who you're going to shoot an email to
when you and your husband find out you're
having your first child. That kind of connection
will bring you nothing but happiness with your
images, which in turn will provide beautiful and
tangible memories of the most monumental
day of your life. A picture is worth 1000 words;
please ensure that your words are happy ones
now and always.
Kricia Morris is a wedding and lifestyle portrait
photographer serving the Hawaiian Islands.
Kricia Morris Photography
http://www.Kriciamorris.com
kricia@kriciamorris.com
850.419.2266
 For the Love of Men and a Free Spirit
by Anna Coker
Tripping over his foot was hardly the way I’d
dreamed of my first encounter with my future
husband, “Hi, my name is Clumsy, nice to meet
you.” Yet, it is this theme I continue to see
throughout our marriage; free spirit meets strong
and stable. Dan’s strength of character had my
heart before I fell in love with him as a man. Saying
‘yes’ on the night of our engagement was not
because I felt butterflies, but knowing when the
butterflies were gone, he’d still be there.
Not long after our engagement did the realization of
what I was looking for in this future husband of mine
was what I’d had in my father for the last twenty-
nine years; a rock, loyalty, kindness, strength of
mind, wisdom and a survivor’s spirit. Mom left us
when I was eighteen months old and he stayed to
raise me and my brother, provide for us, and love us
the only way he knew; he didn’t leave. Growing up,
shopping and spa days were replaced by dirtying
my knees laying tile and playing baseball with the
boys. I adore my dad for that.
It didn’t take long to lose sight of my original
instincts, as for the entirety of the year from ‘yes’ to
‘dress’, I didn’t just plan our wedding. I attended
grad school, completed an 8 month internship,
worked part-time, moved twice and mourned with
Dan the death of his father. Yet, ‘bound and
determined’ would be my mantra. This bride-to-be
was going to do it all despite driving herself into a
crazed state of mind and maybe her fiancé, too. I
spent money I didn’t have, time I couldn’t spare and
energy that was clearly being stolen from various
caffeine products. Working full-time at assessing
this future husband of mine was also on my to-do
list. The standard of measurement was my dad, of
course and while it may not seem fair, this was the
only process worthy of my trust. By the time I stood
still long enough to take a deep breath, I was
standing at the opposite end of the aisle as Dan. It
was then, with my hand wrapped securely in place
around Dad’s arm, the bitter-sweet awareness
came that I was leaving Dad behind to start my new
life as a wife.
It wasn’t until a couple months into our marriage did
I fully grasp the unnecessary stress I’d put myself
through. Another nightmare of my father dying woke
me out of a deep sleep and like the hundred times
before; I sat up shaking and sobbing. As was
routine to then call my dad, grabbing my phone I
snuck out of bed and headed for the door. Standing
alone on our back porch surrounded by the
darkness of the morning, I cried on the phone to my
dad; he was used to this. On the other hand, my
new husband had never seen me this way. Dan
appeared at the back door and embarrassment
overshadowed my emotions. Now annoyed at
myself, I shooed him away. He didn't leave. He
stood waiting patiently; seemingly comfortable with
my range of emotions.
After I hung up, Dan inquired about what happened
with genuine concern. Through my blubbering and
nose-blowing, I attempted to explain. While making
an effort to decipher the words through my tears, he
gently led me back to the bedroom where we
climbed into our blanketed cocoon of a bed. As Dan
drew me into his arms, I could almost feel those
tears crawling back up my cheeks. Perhaps words
were no longer necessary. Cozily ensconced in his
embrace, I fell peacefully and soundly asleep.
What do I wish I’d known before my wedding day?
That driving myself crazy planning our wedding
offered not one thing toward a successful marriage.
That no dollar amount, no flower arrangement, and
no dress offered me the security I find in my marital
relationship. Most importantly, the engagement
period is meant to be a time to plan the marriage,
not the wedding. It was within moments of waking
that morning, I sensed no sign of the bitter-
sweetness I’d felt walking down the aisle. The dirty
kneed little girl turned free-spirited and independent
woman unreservedly made her rite of passage as a
wife through the love of the two men in her life.
Anna Coker LPC, LCAS-P (licensed counselor and
th
addictions specialist)– Married October, 6 , 2007
www.thecurrentwife.blogspot.com
Twitter: @pixography
 Handmade + DIY Wedding Love (and beyond). Where to buy? Search in
by Emma Arendoski Google for handmade wedding items. Check
out sites like Etsy or Artfire. Visit Twitter and
Facebook and look up handmade vendors.
One day while I was planning my wedding, I
Handmade is everywhere! And, remember,
went to the store to look at wedding day
handmade does not mean second hand. In
accessories. I began sorting through their
fact, I’ve found handmade to be of higher
‘Wedding Accessories’ – a collection of plastic,
quality standards than anything I’ve ever found
over-priced stacks of junk, dusty and piled up
in a store! There is a whole world out there
in ugly-looking boxes. I remember thinking to
filled with talented artisans who would be
myself, is this it? This is the beautiful wedding
absolutely delighted to help you create the
section? They were poor quality, painted in dull
wedding of your dreams! Enjoy!
colors, and lacked any type of individuality. I
knew there had to be something better out
After her wedding, Emma wanted to help
there.
spread the love for handmade weddings. She
launched http://Emmalinebride.com, the
If I could give advice to a bride-to-be, it would
handmade wedding marketplace and blog. It
be simple: buy handmade. It wasn’t until I was
promotes unique wedding accessories and
further into my wedding planning that I
bridal couture – handmade by indie artists –
discovered the wonderful world of handmade:
and incorporates DIY wedding ideas, tips,
unique, personalized, high-quality wedding
trends, and real wedding features. Check it out
accessories, handcrafted with love by indie
or tell a friend!
artists from across the globe!

Button bouquets, birdcage veils, bridesmaid

totes, flower girl baskets, ring pillows, cuff links,
cake toppers, pinwheels, parasols, bridal
clutches… you name it, someone made it! The
more I searched, the more impressed – and
inspired! – I became. The beautiful items kept
flowing in, one after another, hitting me like a
tidal wave! Sweet, personal, chic, custom, and
yes, handcrafted with care. I was in love!
Traditional (yawn) wedding accessories have
been done, and re-done, to the max. Boring!
Handmade is unique. It unleashes creativity
and breaks the mold of the traditional wedding.

Give your guests something to remember

about your day by incorporating details about
you and your future spouse. I’ve found robot
wedding cake toppers for the techy bride and
groom; Mr. T cuff links for the groomsmen;
hand-painted caricature wine glasses for the
bridesmaids; romantic ring bearer pillows;
embroidered bridesmaid clutches; teeny-tiny
flower girl jewelry; college-themed garters;
birdcage veils with a true 1940’s vintage
charm; and many more awe-inspiring items.

So, if you are a bride who is tired of mass

production, you’re ready to ditch the
commercial crap, and skip the long lines, take
my advice and buy handmade for your wedding
 "Heels-Down" You might be saying in your stubborn little
By Amy McKay Rodriguez head, “I can just take them off when my
feet start to hurt.” Yeah, not a good look for
Before my big day, I wish I’d known that a blushing bride; don’t do that either. Have
four-inch heels should not be found on the a cute little pair of fabulous flats to switch
bottom of any wedding shoe. Ever. Now, into or a fun pair of low heels to match a
before you go all “duh?” on me, hear me chic getaway dress toward the end of the
out. reception. Trust me, your feet will thank
you later. ♥ Amy
My feet are very used to high-heels. They
like them, they feel soft and pretty in them -
a feeling every bride wants her feet to feel
on their wondrous wedding day. The
chosen shoes were a smashing pair of
pewter pumps from “Carlos by Carlos
Santana.” Carlos makes my favorite shoes
of all time and I just knew my feet would
appreciate a stunning new pair for me to
strut around in on the biggest day of my
life. Apparently, I don’t know my feet
as well as I thought I did; they didn’t
appreciate it in the least bit.
To I say that my feet felt like they were on
fire each time I took a single step for five
solid days after the wedding would be an
Photo Source
understatement. Way, way under the
statement. Had I thought it out a little
longer, I’d have realized that my little paws Amy is a Wedding and Event Planner for
are used to sitting down or walking short All Things Planned engineering wondrous
distances in four-inch heels, not dancing weddings and exquisite events in South
the night away. Seven hours, 420 minutes, Texas. (www.allthingsplanned.net)
25,200 seconds of standing/dancing in You can follow her blog at All Things
four-inch heels! Insanity at its finest. Wedding (www.amysallthingswedding.com)
Clearly, I was under the influence of my for inspiration and “a bride’s confession to
favorite brand of Merlot when I thought that a wedding obsession.”
was a novel idea!
So here’s my advice to you soon-to-be-
brides: get your shoe game in order if you
know what’s best for you. It’s okay to have
a beautiful stiletto under that gorgeous
gown to make you feel like a million
bucks...for a bit; don’t plan on wearing
them all night long.
4 Things to Know Before You Plan
Your Fairytale Wedding!
by Amanda Roquemore
My husband proposed to me after 3 ½ years of
dating- on 9/27/2008. He took me to a nice dinner
by the sea. It was like a sweet story you’d come
across on “He Proposed!” or in a book. I always
knew he was the one. My dreams of marrying my
soul-mate would finally come true! However, I didn’t
realize how hectic the process would be with mine
and my future-husband’s over-packed schedules,
family obligations, and merging of two customs and
lives. Here’s what I wish I knew before I planned my
wedding.
♥ Plan your wedding when you have FREE
TIME! If you can help it, let work be the only thing
going on in your life while planning your wedding! I
barely had the time to plan and get things done
because I worked full time; I was finishing my
Bachelor’s Degree and graduating 4 months prior to
my wedding and house hunting an hour away from
home. My husband worked the night shifts and
slept during the day which hindered us from getting
any planning done let alone meet vendors.
Thankfully, I was able to get wedding stuff done at
work and on my lunch breaks. I was an
Administrative Assistant at a real estate company at
the time. Work was scarce and my free time was
abundant due to the economic state we were in. So,
I used the internet to research bridesmaid dresses,
schedule appointments, interview vendors, etc.
I know it’s really exciting to plan your wedding and
live your dream. Part of you feels like you can do it
all. But trust me, you’ll burn out and spread yourself
too thin. You won’t enjoy the process. I highly
recommend HOLDING OFF until you have more
time to plan.
♥You’re Not Going to Please Everybody! One of
the biggest decisions that may ruffle feathers is your
guest list. My husband and I have a large family on
all sides and had a small budget on top of it all. We
could only afford small venues for our wedding
celebration. We left out many friends and distant
relatives, which saddened us, but we were very
limited financially. But, just know your decisions
may disappoint others and it is just part of the
process. Your day will be fabulous despite other
people’s disappointments. In the end, they will be
happy for the two of you regardless.
♥Your wedding is one of the biggest emotional
roller coasters you’ll ever go through- be
Flexible! You’ve envisioned your special day as a
beautiful fairytale, but remember reality has a way
of sneaking in. I realized this when I came across
some things and events that upset me. I found out I
had melanoma cancer on my leg. I went through an
emotional rollercoaster fearing my health was at
stake. I was scared but relieved when I caught it
early enough to have it removed while it was still
contained.
Shortly after, I discovered one of my bridesmaids
wasn’t my true friend. It was painful and hurtful
process to go through, but it is better to know
beforehand and handle the situation so I could
resume my venture toward wedding bliss.
♥Surround Yourself With the Most Supportive,
Positive People You Know! I can’t emphasize how
important it is to find people who will listen to your
ideas with an open mind and have your true
interests at heart- and not their own. It certainly
helped having positive people to count on during
this time because it helped me nail down decisions
quickly. But I was painfully aware of those who did
not. So keep in mind that everyone you know will
not be your “sounding board.” Take time to really
find your close few.
Overall, try to stay calm and flexible throughout your
wedding planning process in order to fully enjoy
yourself. I promise there is a positive outcome for
any negative situation you face. Hang in there and
your fairytale wedding will come true! All the effort is
worth it!
Amanda Roquemore is the author of the blog
Fashionista On A Dime
(http://fashionistaonadime.blogspot.com)
The Chocolate Fountain was a Hit!
By Alex Remon
I’m a videographer so here’s my advice from both
the videographer, and the bride’s point of view on
that. Ask the videographer how many cameras they
are using and what exactly those cameras are. If
one camera is a Panasonic, you want them all to be
Panasonic so the colors match. If they only use one
camera, find another videographer. With just one
camera, every time the camera swings to capture
the action, you’re going to watch it do so, and if the
videographer can’t get a good angle, or if Uncle
Fred decides to stand directly in front of the camera,
you’re stuck with a video from a bad angle. If they
have 2 cameras set up, they can get more close-
ups because they can edit to the wide angle camera
while they are moving the camera. Make sure that
the groom meets with the videographer prior to the
actual wedding to learn how the microphone works.
The mic is usually a wireless lav on the groom’s
lapel.
A five minute meeting a week before the wedding
will allow the videographer to show the groom how
to turn it on, how to double check that it is indeed
ON, and they can do a preliminary sound check by
having the groom and the bride standing next to him
speak in normal tones and then a whisper. This will
allow the videographer to note how loud the normal
voices are and what they might be if the bride and
groom get choked up at the altar and start
whispering. They should be able to write down the
levels and have that available to them on the day of
the wedding so they can make quick adjustments
rather than desperately trying to find the right
balance during the ceremony.
♥Have a speech prepared for the reception. I was
surprised when they handed us the mic for a toast
of some sort at the reception and I had to address
the crowd on the fly. I had used up all of my
eloquence in the vows and made felt rather foolish.
So even if you don’t plan on speaking, have a few
words of thanks for your family joining you on such
a wonderful day prepared just in case someone
hands you the mic and directs all attention to you.
♥Have something happening to entertain the
kids. We had a chocolate fountain and since we
were the youngest in our respective families, the
usual bouquet and garter throwing traditions didn’t
make any sense. So I threw the bouquet to all the
little girls and a paper crown to the little boys and
they became the Prince and Princess of the
wedding and got to be the first at the chocolate
fountain. I don’t remember much from my wedding,
but I do remember one little cousin running up to
me, covered in chocolate screaming “This is the
best wedding EVER!”
Something will, more than likely, go wrong, so just
hope it’s something small and laugh about it. It’s
mostly going to be a haze in your memory anyway
and the marriage is much more important than the
wedding.
Alex Remon
President, MegaMouth Productions
www.MegaMouthProductions.com

♥Have one of the bridesmaids give the groom a

good looking over before they go up to the altar.
My husband had some sort of shmutz on his lapel
(like some makeup or something) that I noticed as
soon as I got down the aisle. It was subtle but it
showed up in every single picture.

♥Before the wedding, have the DJ play you a

snippet of each of your main songs. For our first
dance, he played a different song from the same
artist and they sound very similar but it was the
lyrics that were important to me. I realized halfway
through our first dance that he was playing the
wrong song.
Photo source
♥Write down your vows in a large font on 3x5
cards. You’re going to get choked up and forget
stuff but if you tuck those cards into the groom’s
pocket, he can give them to you and you’ll be able
to read your notes. Trust me, no one will think any
less of you for it.
 Don't go plain white shoes! I custom design and dye shoes on different
By Nora K. Gonzalez backgrounds: white, silver, gold, pewter,
black, copper, turquoise, neutrals, beige,
When I got married 20 years ago nobody nude, green, aqua, purple, ivory and also
talked about shoes matching the dress or different materials: satin, leather,
something blue, even less something synthetics, faux crocodrile skins and other
borrowed. I just worn plain white shoes, man made.
very pretty ones, made of leather with very
tiny punch holes, elegant but still boring. My customers are from all around the
Then I graduated as a Fashion Designer globe: from Miami and California to Europe
and many years later I started a line of and Australia and everywhere in between.
custom designed shoes. If someone told I personally work with my clients to try to
me this story I would have said “that is a make the online shopping experience feel
nice fantasy!” as personal as purchasing from your
favorite boutique around the corner.
But today, that is my reality.
So,my advice now is this: contact me and
I design shoes for weddings every single ask for the shoes you really desire for the
day with original motifs: peacocks, in every Big Day in your life, don't go plain white.
style ,even albinos, feathers, something
blue, swans and hearts, beach weddings,
tropical, ethnic, Victorian, traditional, gothic,
abstracts, butterflies, paisleys, peonies, fall
and autumn, midsummer's night dream,
chains and coins, humming birds, Indian
weddings,1930's style,1940's vintage and
1970's funk, owls, cameos and pearls,
pheasants, pythons, black and gold, black
and white, winter crystal ice, palace,
Victorian lace, hot pinks and polka dots,
Boston terriers, winter wonderland,1960's
blast from the past, fire and phoenix,
carousels, art noveau, art deco, Marie
Antoinette styled, and strawberries …just
to mention a few of the themes. Nora K. Gonzalez, Owner and Fahion
Designer for Nora Karen, has been
Most of the times I work with the bride and featured on many blogs, websites,
the bridal party to create a wholesome microblogs, shops and e-magazines.
project matching her gown or the e-mail: norakaren2002@yahoo.com
bridesmaids’ dresses, the flower girl or http://www.NoraKaren.com
wherever the bride's takes her.
"I Took the Cheap Photographer Route"
By Lauren Grove
An example of a good photo, by
Studio 222 Photography
One of the reasons why I’m always talking
about the importance of quality photography is
because I made a mistake that I hope to
prevent other brides from making. I took the
cheap photographer route. I attribute this to the
fact that when I was planning my wedding, I
had no clue. The only resources I used were
[two very popular wedding resource sites]
because that’s all I knew about. However,
when using their budget recommendations
(which was all I had to go off of), their
recommended photography percentage was
way below what I was realistically seeing for
photographer pricing. I didn’t have anyone to
tell me what the “norm” pricing was for a good
photographer. I was counting on those
resources to help me, and they didn’t. So, while
we wait for these resources to catch up to
2010, this is my warning!
I’m in no way a photographer, but I want to
pass along some tidbits that I wish I had known
as a bride. One of the first things that I tell new
brides is the normal cost for decent
photography, because I myself had no idea.
Here in Florida, photography packages usually
start at $2000, and that’s that bare minimum. It
varies everywhere, and of course it also varies
with the photographers and their experience.
Keep in mind that photographers are not just
taking photos of you on your wedding day.
They also have to edit the photos (which can
take up to 30 hours), design the album, answer
your emails and phone calls, and carry out all
of the other administrative duties that owning a
business entails. (There is so much more, but
I’ll leave that to the photographers to explain!)
Most of all, bottom line: you get what you pay
for. It really can’t be said any differently.
And another example of a good photo, by
Ashley Brockinton Photography
Needless to say, I’m still pretty heartbroken
about my lack of knowledge when I chose my
photographer. I wish I had known about so
many things when I was planning my wedding.
Now that I look at amazing work from
photographers every day, I know that my
photos could have been so much better. But
you live and you learn, right? There’s always
our vow renewal to make up for it!
[Disclaimer: Don't get me wrong when I say
"cheap photographer". I paid more than what
would normally be considered "cheap". But
when you consider what was included in the
price (my 12 hour wedding day, engagement
session, bridal session, album and prints), and
then when you see the pretty much unedited
images, then yes, it was indeed cheap.]
If you have any questions about choosing your
photographer, please ask! I don’t want anyone
else to feel the way that I do, and this is one of
the many reasons why I write my blog and why
I entered the wedding industry. I want to help
everyone have the absolute best wedding
possible!
Lauren Grove
lauren@everylastdetailblog.com
Every Last Detail Blog
http://EveryLastDetailBlog.com
 My Mother-In-Law, My Friend
I wish I had applied the 7th spiritual law of
by Sally Shields
success, which is, the quickest way to get
what you want is to help others get what
they want. And by that I mean, be a loving,
kind-hearted, sensitive, open person, and
that the world will reflect that back to you,
even in the form of your mother-in-law.
I wish I had known that if I had just done all
these things, that she would have
eventually turned out to be an ally and a
friend.

Photo source Please visit Sally Shields, speaker, radio

personality, free publicity specialist and
I wish I had known how important it was to
author of the #1 Amazon.com bestseller,
make friends with my mother- in-law; how
The Daughter-in-Law Rules
to make her feel special and appreciated,
www.theDILrules.com on the web at: for
and how vital it was to compliment her,
contest giveaways, free bonus gifts, Sally’s
send her flowers and cards on her special
newsletter, free music, ... and more!
days and call her at least once a week. I
wish I had known that she would have
been pleased to have me call her "Mom,"
and I wish I had asked her how she was
feeling on a regular basis.
I wish I had told her what a great job she
did as a mother, and I wish I hadn't given
away some of the household items she had
given me, even though I didn't like them. I
wish I had known how not to get defensive,
and to ask her for lots of advice. I wish I
had taken the time to get to know about her
past, and to compliment the way she kept
house and to tell her how delicious her
cooking was.
I wish I had known that it was a BIG ‘no
no’ to criticize her to my husband, and I
wish I had known that imitating her voice
was something that was hurtful and to be
avoided at all costs. I wish I had
appreciated her for who she was, and
given her the benefit of the doubt.
The Ultimate Post-Honeymoon Buzz Kill
by Kate Washington
What would be your ultimate post-honeymoon
buzz kill?
Photo source
Finding out you're pregnant? A flooded house,
a broken limb? Or getting fired? If you think
those events would tarnish your happy
honeymoon shine, you're right. And I know:
The day after my honeymoon, I got fired.
I'd suspected it was coming and spent three
stressful months trying to prevent it – I only
wish she'd done it before the honeymoon.
Letting me drag my carcass back to work after
a week in Mexico only to get canned was a
cruel trick.
Would I have done some things differently if I'd
known? You bet.
I would not have let my manager get to me.
She'd already fired three other women that
year and I knew she wanted me gone too. I
wish I'd accepted that she was going to get her
way eventually and kept my head down.
Instead, I got riled up week after week and
even ended up in the emergency room with an
anxiety attack!
Speaking of the ER, I'd have used up all my
sick time. I scrimped on half days and worked
through lunches to avoid burning my days on
the emergency room, the ensuing
appointments and the blood work. But as it
was, when I got fired, I lost all that sick time
anyway.
I would not have invited coworkers to my
wedding. For months, they heard all the
wedding drama and I felt it would be a little
anti-climactic to return to work with a few
photos and call it good. Had I known these
people would be exiting my life so soon, I
wouldn't have included them. Those extra
invitations could have alleviated a good deal of
stress.
Most of all, I would have planned a different
honeymoon. Even if it had been the most
perfect, magical week imaginable, it was
$2,000 that could have been put to better use
these past few months. Considering what we
got in Puerto Vallarta, we could have enjoyed
something better and closer to home for a
fraction of the cost.
There is one thing I'm very grateful we did do:
we paid for our entire wedding in cash and
started our married life free of debt (except for
the mortgage). This was not because I
suspected I'd be losing my job, but a lifestyle
we'd chosen. What a relief to not be saddled
with thousands of dollars of debt on top of
losing my income. That has afforded us a great
deal of security in an unstable time.
Lessons learned?
• Don't let pressure affect me on a
personal level. It doesn't change the
outcome.
• Insist on my rights, protections and
privileges at work. Those things are
owed any employee and I don't have to
feel guilty for using them.
• Weddings are about our nearest and
dearest. Don't feel compelled to invite
acquaintances and coworkers.
• Money and exotic location are not what
make a honeymoon special. No matter
where you go together, your
honeymoon is a once in a lifetime
experience.
• Live debt free. You never know when
your circumstances might change.
Kate Washington is a creative woman on a
mission to invest in herself, her marriage, her
home and her friendships. She was raised in a
large family, is drawn to earthy pursuits and
happily resides it the beautiful Pacific
Northwest with her husband Gary. Join her at
www.newlywedandunemployed.blogspot.com
as she navigates life after the honeymoon.
The Wedding Is a Day, the Marriage Is a
Lifetime
By Sandy Philpott
When I got married, I had several advantages
in terms of wedding planning.
First, I was nearly 40 years old, and second,
my wedding was only three months after I got
engaged.
Having a short engagement made wedding
planning much easier because I didn’t have
time to second-guess my decisions. If we’d had
a year or more to plan our wedding, we’d
probably have visited a dozen venues and then
been torn between the one with the most
photogenic grounds, the one with the best
food, the one that provided the loveliest cake,
the one closest to the ceremony, etc. Instead,
we visited two, picked the one we liked better,
and never looked back. When I shopped for my
gown, I found one I loved and bought it the
same day. I didn’t drive myself crazy waiting to
find something better. I saved myself so much
stress by having to make decisions quickly and
live with them instead of wavering back and
forth for months.
Also, being an older bride who has been to
(and in) many other weddings, I already knew
what I liked and what I didn’t. I had seen every
style of ceremony, from ultra-formal Catholic
masses to ceremonies on the beach with a J.P.
to multi-denominational weddings with a rabbi
and a pastor sharing officiate duties. I had seen
every kind of reception, from elaborate sit-
down dinners with toast after toast to a pig
roast in the churchyard with guests changing
into shorts and T-shirts to play horseshoes. I
had seen what worked and what didn’t, I had
recalled the details (good and bad) that stuck
out in my mind even years later, and I had seen
what I loved and what was not quite to my
taste.
Another advantage of my age was that I had
learned to trust myself, and to trust others. So
on my wedding day, I didn’t worry or even think
about the details. I had planned carefully and
chosen vendors that I trusted, so I let them
deal with any problems that arose and I just
enjoyed my day. One of the best pieces of
advice I received before my wedding was to
take moments throughout the day to pause and
take in what was happening. When the doors
at the back of the church opened and I made
my entrance, I stopped for a moment to lock
eyes with my beaming groom and admire how
handsome he looked. I gazed around the
church at the family and friends who had
gathered to celebrate with us. When we first
went into the reception hall, I paused to admire
the glorious results of all my careful planning,
from the linens to the centerpieces to the
seating arrangements. I wasn’t checking to see
if the vendors had followed my orders to the
letter, I was merely admiring and enjoying their
hard work – and my own.
And yet, no wedding goes perfectly according
to plan. So when our limo broke down on the
way to pick up the groom and best man, no-
one panicked; the men just drove themselves
and when the limo finally did arrive, my two
young nieces got to enjoy their first limo ride.
Don’t view those little glitches as disasters, just
accept them and look for the silver lining. And
there always is one – at the end of the day, as
long as you’re now married to the love of your
life, the wedding was a success!
After all, the wedding is only a day, but the
marriage is a lifetime. More than just planning
our wedding, my fiancé and I spent our
engagement planning our marriage. We talked
about how we would handle our finances,
where we would live, how we would handle job
changes, whether we wanted children and how
many, our parenting styles, our religious
practices, how we would divide up chores –
everything we could think of that could have an
impact on our relationship as husband and
wife. And two years later, there isn’t a thing I
would change about our wedding – or our
marriage.
Sandy Philpott
Sandy@Philpott.org
http://www.SandysMotherhoodBlog.blogspot.com
 Mother of the Bride
by Denée King
We’ve all heard the horror stories of good
mother/daughter relationships gone bad
when it comes to planning a
wedding….kind of like when a husband
and wife attempt to assemble a piece of
furniture…together. It sounded like a fun
idea because, well, we just really, really
love being together. **collective awwwww**
I even watched an episode of “Bridezilla”
so I would be prepared…like going through
childbirth class so I would fully understand
beforehand what giving birth would be like.
*NEWSFLASH* …No amount of reading or
attending a class can prepare you for
childbirth. The same is true for being the
mother of a bride who has opted to plan
her own wedding. You just won’t know until
you experience it firsthand.
What I wish I’d known before the wedding
was how this experience would be one of
the most wonderful and downright fun
times in my life…. how amazed I would be
watching my daughter delight in each day
and every detail of the process. How she
would share with me her dreams of not just
this particular day but of the ones she had
for her new home and life as a married
woman. How I was amazed at discovering
the extent of the organizational gene she
inherited from her grandfather (which, as
he said, skipped a generation!). And just
how crazy I was that I almost let the
exaggerated media influence my thinking.
I wish I’d known how quickly the time would
fly by and how I would look back and wish I
had taken more pictures of the little
moments….the cake tasting, visiting the
funky, Bohemian-like little flower shop, trips
to the mall to find the perfect shoes, the
nights we set up assembling hand-made
‘save the dates’, the trial run at the beauty
shop watching the hair dresser fret (a tiny
bit) trying to figure out how to re-create the
look from the picture my daughter
presented her with the massive amount of
hair she was trying to work with. I wish
someone had told me that these moments
would be just as priceless as the wedding
itself.
What did I learn? Trust my heart! Truthfully,
I always knew it would be a wonderful, life-
changing experience. I learned to not take
the everyday experiences for granted and
to take a camera with me wherever I go!
Denée King and daughter, Shaylan Brown
are co-founders of “She Just Got Married”
(www.SheJustGotMarried.com) , a Social
community that celebrates the joy of love and
the journey of a newlywed woman, a place to
Discover You After 'I do'.
 The Top 5 Things That Grooms
Wish They Had Known Before the
Wedding
By Chris Easter
Being in business as groom experts, we get
the chance to meet lots of newlyweds, and
more specifically, grooms. Over the past year,
we’ve talked to hundreds of men who have
taken “the plunge” and gotten married. We
always like to ask them what they liked,
disliked and wish they had known about the
wedding experience beforehand. We do get
some pretty interesting answers (some of
which can’t be shared here); however there are
a few things that seem to come up over and
over again.
We want to help out future grooms by sharing
this list so they can be better prepared. Here is
our list of top five things that grooms wish they
had known before planning their wedding.
♣Get in on the shower fun
A lot of guys assume that the wedding shower
festivities are just for the bride. All grooms
should be aware of the growing trend of
couples and “man” wedding showers and the
many wedding gifts for men that are out there
to be had.
♣Destination weddings are affordable
It’s natural to hear the word “destination
wedding” and immediately think that it’s out of
your price range. The truth is quite the contrary.
While you do pay for travel and lodging, most
resorts do offer packages that include
everything you will need. Think of all the money
that will be saved that would normally go to
wedding vendors.
Chris Easter of www.TheManRegistry.com

♣Vendor’s gratuity
If gratuity isn’t included in your contract with a
wedding vendor, it’s considered courtesy to tip
a wedding vendor. For the groom’s side of the
wedding, this would include caterers at the
rehearsal dinner, the limo driver, and a DJ or
band. Tipping the Wedding Officiant isn’t
necessary, but it’s nice to present them with a
donation to the church.

♣Fathers’ Tuxes
If you’re renting tuxes, another common
courtesy is to pick up the tab for the father-of-
the-groom and father-of-the-bride. A lot of tux
shops will give you a free rental if you book a
certain number of tuxedos. Many grooms just
pass the free rental on to one of the fathers.

♣Drink slowly at the reception

We’re not telling you to cut back on your fun at
the reception, but just keep in mind that
anytime anyone sees you with an empty hand
at the reception, they’ll promptly fill it with a
drink. By the end of the night, it’s easy to be
feeling shaky and wonder how it happened.
 Simple, Online Solution to the
Married Name-Change Nightmare!
By Liz McGinty and Gina Dziak
“Fast, easy, effective! This website was my
one-stop-shop for changing my name.” --
Jamie, TX
At this point you probably do not know too
much about the name-change process or how
to even begin to change your name from your
maiden, to your new married name! You may
even have a few questions and concerns about
changing your name due to marriage, and why
wouldn’t you?! You would think that in 2010,
changing your name after marriage would be
easier, but to most people it is an
overwhelming process that can create
unnecessary confusion and stress. This is why
we are here to assist! Over the past few years,
we at www.MissNowMrs.com have happily
assisted over 60,000 Brides through our “one-
stop-shop”, nationwide easy online name-
change service; saving an average of 13 hours
on research and form completion! Here are
some details for you…
One of our prominent findings has been to
recognize your options before it is time to
change your name so that you’re not
overwhelmed with anxiety when the time
comes to actually make the change. Will you
hyphenate, take your spouse’s last name,
replace your middle name with your maiden
name, or simply keep your maiden name? You
should spend time prior to the wedding
discussing these options with your fiancé to
ensure that you come to a conclusion that
makes both of you happy. Whatever decision
you make, you should be sure to book your
travel plans for the honeymoon under your
maiden name because you most likely will not
have enough time to change your name on
your social security card, driver’s license, and
passport before you depart!
Regardless of what state you reside in, you will
benefit from requesting additional certified
copies of your marriage certificate after your
wedding, to use during the name-change
process. Several state and U.S. government
agencies require a certified copy of your
marriage certificate as legal proof of your
marriage before they will proceed with your
name change.
Now, you are ready to begin the name-change
process! There is a certain procedure required
when submitting your State and U.S.
Government name-change forms, luckily we
have already taken the research out of the
picture for you. We will also offer you our inside
details and recommendations coming straight
from the U.S. Government office personnel
themselves!
Once you have changed all of your state and
U.S. Government documents, it is equally
important to notify creditors of your name
change. You may elect to make phone calls to
each office or write a letter stating your
previous name, new name, and that you are
changing your name due to marriage. Some
offices will require you to fill-out a name
change request form or letter (along with a
certified copy of your marriage certificate)
before they will process your name change.
After planning a wedding, (or even if you are
just getting around to changing your name now,
years after marriage) the last thing you want to
do is stress out about the name change
process and paperwork! This is why we, at
MissNowMrs.com offer you an online account
to provide you with a simplified transition, from
Miss…to…Mrs. in 3 simple steps: Questions,
Forms, File! Come visit us and register for
your account today; we are happy to assist!
www.MissNowMrs.com
 Tight Shoes? Who Knew?
By Kim Leatherdale
Photo source
As a couples' counselor (and relationship
blogger) I hear many stories of what went
wrong even as early as the planning
stages. I'd like to share two wedding
events and what I learned.
In my own wedding, one of my bride's
maids called me a week before to say
when she went to get her dress sized the
store had not ordered it (even though she
had a credit card receipt from 3 months
earlier.) I told her to go back to them and
insist they find her the same dress from
one of their other stores and they did (good
news, it wasn't a clashing color.) I would
advise brides and grooms to not be
intimidated by problems or unprofessional
stores.
At a friend's wedding, her younger brother
laid his whole 6 foot frame out on the floor
when he passed out during the ceremony.
The reason? His shoes were too small. I
never knew standing in a warm room in too
tight shoes could make you pass out, but it
did. And he was in the wedding party, so it
wasn't subtle. My advice? Make sure
everyone knows to have correctly fitted
clothes, top to bottom.
Kim Leatherdale is a relationship expert
who provides video and in-person
counseling. Read her relationship skills at
Creating Rewarding Relationships
www.CreatingRewardingRelationships.blogspot.com
Kimberly Leatherdale LPC, ATR-BC,
NCC
Creating Rewarding Relationships with
yourself, others, and the world.
Get daily hints, ideas, and quotes from Kim
on Twitter: @HappyCoupleXprt
 My Wedding Hair Disaster, My Disaster
Photographer and My Honeymoon
Mishaps…
What I Wish I’d Known Before the
Wedding
By Renee C Krejci
Planning weddings is fun. Along with the fun is
of course the stress and some of the incidents
that can happen that may or may not be
avoidable. As a wedding planner I know of
many of those things that can happen and try
to help all my brides avoid those incidences.
Back in the day, though I was a bride without
any wedding planner helping me or warning me
of things to look out for. I would like to share
these moments with you in hoping to avoid
these disasters in your wedding. These are the
three incidences I wish I knew before the
wedding.
Photo source
First, I want to mention hair. I, like most brides,
had my hair done by a stylist. I went to the
salon wearing a sweatshirt and shorts. When I
arrived my stylist said “You didn’t wear a button
shirt?” I said “no, why?” She said “well, your
sweatshirt might mess up your hair. Button
shirts work best for that.” I felt stupid, but
thought ‘I’ll just be careful’. She did my hair
and it turned out gorgeous. I couldn’t wait to
go home and put my wedding dress on. Well,
trying to take the sweatshirt off with a veil
pinned on my head did mess up my hair. My
bridesmaids and I tried to comb it in to smooth
it over, but it didn’t help much. It was ruined. I
still looked decent, but my hair mess up was
definitely noticeable. Luckily in most of my
professional photos, my photographer touched
them up. ♥Lesson learned: Wear a button
shirt when getting your hair styled for any
event.
Second, I will mention my photographer. Prior
to our wedding, my husband and I filled out a
detailed form on which photos the
photographer was to take photos of. We took
the time to fill it out so nothing was missed that
was important to us. After the wedding we got
the call from our photographer to look at our
proofs. This was before digital cameras were
taking over in the wedding world. We arrived at
his studio looking at the proofs. As we were
looking at them, we noticed some of the photos
we asked him to take were missing. He told us
that either he lost the roll of film or never put
film in the camera before taking them. And
other photos that he took, he decided they
didn’t turn out and got rid of them. We were
devastated. Important pictures of our mothers
at the ceremony were gone and pictures he
was supposed to take of the children in our
wedding were missing. The photos that weren’t
lost and were in the camera got developed and
they turned out beautiful, but it doesn’t replace
the photos that were missing.
♥Lesson learned: Keep checking with
photographer to see if he/she is taking the right
photos.
Third, I will tell about our honeymoon. We
went to Cancun, Mexico. We loved it there.
We had so much fun, with a few mishaps.
First, we got sick eating foods that aren’t
Mexico’s specialty such as the sea food and
sushi. We should have stuck with American
food and Mexican. Second, we lost money,
$200 worth, in the ocean. My husband put our
money in a waterproof wallet that was
supposed to be hung around his neck. Well,
instead he put it in his pocket and it floated out
in to the ocean. Third, I got sunburned terribly
the last day. I put sunscreen on, but it wasn’t
high enough of a number. Also, the heat is so
much hotter. It is dry heat and not humid. I
laid out too long and didn’t wear strong enough
sunscreen.
♥Lessons learned: Put money in a safe spot
that you can’t lose it. Wear high enough sun
screen. Don’t eat foods you’re not familiar with
in a country that doesn’t specialize in making it.
Renee C Krejci, PBC
Certified Professional Bridal Consultant
www.RCKWeddingsandmore.com
Renee enjoys the love stories behind each
couple and embraces their ideas for their
wedding.
Dr. Romance's 7 Things to Consider
Before Moving in Together or Making
Emotional and Financial Commitments:
By Tina B. Tessina
Photo Source
♥What is your definition of commitment?
You and your partner define your relationship.
Know what your relationship means to each of
you, to avoid repeating past mistakes, getting
stuck in uncomfortable roles, or fighting about
what your commitment is. Talk about what you
mean by relationship, commitment, love, and
faithfulness. You'll be amazed by what you
learn.
♥Have you discussed finances?
Money is a big generator of problems,
arguments, and resentment in long-term
relationships. Don't assume money should be
pooled. For many couples separating the
money makes things run smoother; you don't
wind up struggling for control of who pays or
whose income determines your lifestyle.
Different financial habits (one likes to save, the
other spends more, or doesn't keep track) can
generate fights. Whether you split expenses
evenly, or on a percentage basis, learn to talk
about money in a businesslike manner.
♥What about household responsibilities?
Drastically different decorating styles,
neatness, and organization levels can become
sources of argument, as can housekeeping
and chores. Different tastes may require
creativity and negotiation to decorate a shared
home that makes both of you comfortable.
Negotiate before moving into your partner's
established home. You may have trouble
feeling as if you "belong" in a home previously
established by your partner, unless you
participate together in reorganizing and
redecorating it.
♥ How close are you to family or friends?
If one of you has a lot of family or friends, and
the other does not, or if you both have big
families, find out what those relationships
mean. Where will you spend holidays? If there
are family members who have problems, such
as financial stress, addiction or mental illness,
how much will that impactyour relationship?
♥How do you handle anger and other
emotions?
We all get upset from time to time. If you are
usually good at diffusing each other's anger
and being supportive through times of grief or
pain, your emotional bond will deepen as time
goes on. If your tendency is to react to each
other and make the situation more volatile and
destructive, you need to correct that problem
before you live together.
♥How do you show love to each other?
Talking about which actions and words mean
love to you may be surprising. Discussing how
you give and receive love will improve your
relationship, and help you understand what
makes each of you feel loved, and how to
express love effectively.
♥How well did you discuss these very
questions?
These questions are excellent tests of your
ability to define and work out problems.
Constructive discussion that leads to a
mutually satisfactory solution means you know
how to solve problems in your relationship. If
you fight, get counseling before going further.
Tina B. Tessina, PhD, (aka "Dr. Romance")
Psychotherapist and author of Money, Sex
and Kids: Stop Fighting about the
Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage
(Adams Media) 1-59869-325-6
Tina Tessina – email: Tina@Tinatessina.com
Dr. Romance Blog
http://www.drromance.typepad.com/dr_romanc
e_blog
Other Published books:
*It Ends With You: Grow Up and Out of Dysfunction
*How To Be a Couple and Still Be Free
*The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again
*Gay Relationships
*The REAL 13th Step
 Seized by a Greek mother-in-law!
By Robin Q Daumit
I had been dating Stavros, a first generation Greek
American from immigrant parents. I was the non-
Greek, and so for three years his family managed to
ignore my presence through all holidays and festive
events; a little difficult, I thought, since I was usually
the only blond in the bunch. Well, that is, except for
a few scattered peroxide blonds with black roots,
and a five-o-clock shadow where their mustache
use to be only hours earlier.
with an amazing Greek man, and met wonderful
people with him... but a Greek mother-in-law to a
non-Greek daughter-in-law can be, and often is: a
horror.)
For just a few moments before I would walk down
the isle, no one would be with me as I slipped into
my shoes. My shoes.
I was elated at the thought of walking down the aisle
in ‘Their’ dress, but I would be wearing My Shoes!
Did I have the guts to do it? You bet I did.

Ignored. That is, until Stavros announced to his
family that we were engaged. Of course I was given
a big fat diamond that was a family heirloom, a few
other pieces of gold from the family jewels, and an
engagement party that would have topped most
American weddings. Jewels were admired; I was
ignored.
My friends told me that I needed to get one of those
‘Eyes’ that are set in a piece of jewelry, to ward off
the evil wishes I was sure to receive throughout this
entire wedding preparation. I did. I even hid a few in
my shoes and underwear.
Well, as fate would have it, my mother-in-law to be
was a dressmaker. Not just any dressmaker but
sought out among the who’s-who elite in the
Washington DC social society. And, of course, she
insisted on making my dress. Making it? Try
creating it, designing it, ordering imported Italian
lace for it (without ever asking what I might like to
wear on my day), and taking over every tiny detail of
the wedding. My body was called upon for fittings. I
was ignored. What was I getting myself into?
Wedding day arrived. His family filled the church
while my family huddled together in their corner.
And then, my moment arrived. At the reception I sat
in a chair in front of all the wedding guests. The
dress was pulled up around my thighs for my garter
to be removed from my leg; and in that moment in
which I stole completely for myself, the room was
filled with gasps and whispers.
My shoes. Oh how horrid they were, much to my
immense delight! My mother-in-law threw me an evil
eye that was sure to crack the little glass blue eye I
had pinned to my thong. I looked directly into her
face: beaming.
Suddenly, as my husband removed my garter, I
noticed many of the guests from his family, look
directly into my eyes and smile. They understood.
And with that, I was no longer ignored, nor seized!
Robin Q. Daumit is the author of Confessions of a
Hairdresser: Amazon.com
Author of Beauty Shop Buzz
www.BeautyShopBuzz.com

Everything had been planned, and not by me. My

veil, my money purse (how embarrassing), our
honeymoon, which of course would be to go to
Greece to meet all the relatives there, and my
shoes.

At each fitting for the dress, a satin bag was pulled

out, and the most perfect and delicate pair of Nina
Ricci shoes, costing at least $500.00, was placed
on my feet while I was stuck like a pincushion. Of
course, I was ignored.

My shoes. Yes. My shoes. Who said I had to wear

these perfect pair of shoes to go along with the
perfect dress, perfect wedding event and perfect
honeymoon; all of which I had nothing to do with?
My shoes would be the last things to go on my
body once everyone was seated in the Greek
Cathedral adorned with flowers from all the Greek
family florists. (Now don’t get me wrong, I fell in love
 My Big Fat Swedish Honeymoon
By Lena Carpelan

When my shy, northern Indiana farm boy groom arrived in Sweden to meet my family and was
crowned an honorary Viking—which meant wearing a silvery spandex helmet with droopy
horns that my mother had fashioned from one of her old glamour tops, while being inspected
at a family dinner full of new relatives—he wished he’d looked closer at the perils of cross-
cultural courtships.

When my 80-year-old grandmother coolly treated my one-beer dear to a series of potent

“snaps” toasts to test his mettle…when the relatives launched an inquisition in rusty English
as to his interests in life (Yoo say dairy cows? Vell, hov kvaint!)…when he was met by a
plethora of confusing silverware and goblets, and observant second-cousins-once-removed
nodded knowingly as he picked up the wrong fork…not to mention when his undistinguished
ancestry was rapidly dissected by a new father-in-law who wished his only daughter had
married a nobleman…then he knew he hadn’t asked enough questions before the wedding!

Lena Carpelan is the author of The Adventures of the Blackberry Hill Kids,
http://www.BlackberryHillKids.com - a rollicking insider look at the life of a Swedish-American
family with three lively rapscallions who cheerfully romp through life as their rapidly aging
parents valiantly try to keep order in the midst of chaos. The kids’ further adventures are
chronicled at Musings and Mayhem at Blackberry Hill (www.blog.blackberryhillkids.com )
 Where are my clothes?!?!
by: Kenya Hegazy
My name is Kenya and I have been married
since November 16, 2008. My husband, Yosef,
is a really cool, down to earth guy. You can say
that he was like other husbands; not as
involved with the wedding planning details as I
was. I literally tried to take care of everything.
When it came closer to the wedding I started to
think about the day after the wedding. We, as
many other couples, chose to stay at a hotel on
our wedding night near our reception site. A
couple of weeks before the wedding I drove my
husband insane about the items he needed to
pack for the wedding night. You know, the
essentials such as a change of clothes,
toothbrush, underwear, etc.
Fast forward to the day after the wedding. We
woke up in the morning and decided that we
would head down to grab some breakfast. I
opened my “packed” bag and, at that moment,
realized that I had forgotten certain essential
items. These items include:
• Bra
• Coat (it was 40 degrees!)
• Shoes and socks
• Shirt
• Long pants
• Garment bag for my wedding dress
I know what you are thinking. How did I forget
to pack the above items, especially after
bugging my husband to be sure to remember
the items that he needed to pack? I have no
answer. I can only say that my mind must have
been on another planet at that point in the
wedding planning.
I’ll give you the answer to the other question
which is floating in your head… “what did you
end up wearing?” My outfit consisted of a
black zip-up velour jacket (no bra, no shirt),
black gaucho pants, and the white flip flops that
I used to wear during the reception to dance
the night away with. In that outfit, we marched
downstairs to grab some breakfast. Thankfully,
the breakfast room wasn’t crowded!
We went back to the room to pack up and
leave to go home. I had no coat. I only had
my white fur short wrap that I used with my
wedding dress. Also, I realized that I did not
bring the wedding dress garment bag. So,
when we were leaving the hotel to check out. I
walked around in the horrendous outfit with my
wedding dress draped over my body, my veil
and crinoline stuffed in a laundry bag that was
provided by the hotel, and wearing short Capri
pants and flip flops. It was about 42 degrees
out that morning. It was cold, even colder with
just the black velour jacket I had on.
Forgetting the essential items didn’t ruin my
day, it just made me giggle about it. As a
matter of fact, writing this article is making me
giggle.
Blog: Newlywed Giggles
www.FunTimesofMarriedLife.blogspot.com
Investigate Before You Set a Date
By Stu Gray
We had an adventurous wedding. Being
married in New Orleans, Louisiana -- of
course, all of our friends and family wanted
to come enjoy our marriage celebration;
After all, The Big Easy is a fun place to
visit!
When you're planning a wedding in a city
that you are not familiar with, you might
want to check out more than the weather
forecast! There were two things we didn’t
know about New Orleans in August…
Boys and Bugs!
The first thing we didn't know is that New
Orleans hosts 'Southern Decadence' - A
week-end dedicated to "gay pride" in late
summer -- so, as our friends and family
ended up downtown in the French quarter
for our rehearsal dinner, we knew
something was amiss; Especially when we
noticed several men in bright colored boas,
and various states of undress.
We didn't know until later that my friend,
who officiated our wedding, and his wife,
ventured out into the French quarter and
got some memorable pictures of guys
wearing leather chaps and nothing else! I
have to say that those pictures are much
more memorable than our wedding
pictures.
The second thing we didn’t know is that at
the end of August the skies are full of
love… Love Bugs, that is.
We were married in the Louisiana Castle,
an hour north of New Orleans. It's a real
castle nestled in the woods--truly a
beautiful setting. As I was driving up toward
the castle on Friday before our wedding, I
noticed these little black bugs were
everywhere. Several of them looked
connected together -- two bugs, with their
back sides attached, clumsily flying through
the air.
Locals call them “Love Bugs”.
On the weekend of our wedding, I didn't
find them that loving. I found them rather
disgusting. And that's the problem. You do
find them everywhere. They get in and on,
everything -- your hair, your clothes, your
car -- you name it, Love Bugs were
everywhere. Our friends and family got to
enjoy the love bugs and all of the swatting
and peeling them out of their hair during
our wedding ceremony.
Ahh, Love. Sweet Love…Bugs.
Who knew that we'd have to deal with the
Love Bug Season, and Southern
Decadence Weekend!? We didn't! So, take
it from me. If you are new to a city, make
sure you know the crazy things that
happen there around the time when you’re
planning your wedding!!
When Stu Gray isn't having nightmares
about love bugs, or pink feather boas, he is
writing about what makes Stupendous
Marriages at
http://www.TheMarryBlogger.com (so after
your big day – make sure you check out his
website!)
 Let Them Eat Cake At your wedding….let them eat cake…but
By Denée King let it reflect your personality. ♥
www.SheJustGotMarried.com

I’ve been to many a wedding and seen

everything from simple to sensational -
easy going to elaborate. I’ve seen the
groomsmen strut down the aisle in top hats
as the band played show tunes and
bridesmaids wearing everything from
formal elegance to renaissance replicates.

But one wedding took the cake (surely, you

can appreciate the double entendre!).

At the reception the bride’s table boasted a

beautiful, traditional cake. At the groom’s
table, in all its Texas glory - a cake made in
the shape of an armadillo. Oh, wait….it
gets even better! When the groom cut into
the cake it was ‘red velvet’. Yes…it looked
like the infamous road-kill. Everyone loved
it!

Looking back at my own wedding I wish my

husband and I had been a bit more
creative with our cake selection. It was
beautiful and delicious but it didn’t really
express our personalities. If I had it to do
over again it would have some type of Cakes (above) by Sharon Alexander
Caribbean ocean design with a variety of Sweet-Sensations
colorful tropical fish ‘splashed’ about. http://www.Sweet-Sensations.com/blog
 Snipets of Wisdom
♥Looking back (a few years!) to 1983, the
one thing I would have changed about my
wonderful champagne brunch wedding that
continued at our home till midnight, was not
to have immediately followed it the next
day with boarding a plane for a three-week
honeymoon to Europe! ♥
Sharon Gilchrest ONeill, Ed.S., LMFT
Marriage Therapist/Consultant/Author
A Short Guide to a Happy Marriage
www.ashortguidetoahappymarriage.com
♥To make sure the day is about the two of
you and you take time to really enjoy the
day. Do not worry about the little stuff
because in the end what matters is the two
of you and your love for each other! Keep it
simple as it should not be stressful (bad
stress) - once you take out all the stress
and just focus on having fun and enjoying
this special journey together it should all
fall into place. I know easier said than done
but we tend to put too much into the
material things for the wedding when it
should just be the bride and groom and
their vows.
Michelle Morton - Send Out Cards
https://www.sendoutcards.com/9961
♥I wish I would have had the Bride Body
Now weight loss program to help me lose
25 pounds prior to my big day, instead of
paying a trainer. But, my trainer and I later
became business partners to provide the
www.BrideBodyNow.com weight loss
program. ~Marty Babbington
♥I would not have shared a ride to the
airport the next day with a couple who
attended the wedding. She spent the 30
minute ride telling me everything that she
thought went wrong at my wedding and
reception! Instead of saving a few $$, my
new husband and I should have shared a
quiet ride together.
Jann Foy, Realtor,
http://Jannfoy.housingtrendsnewsletter.com
♥I wish I'd invited fewer people and I wish
I'd said something at the toast. I thought,
let everyone else toast you - but I wish I'd
toasted them for traveling and for loving us.
I am glad I didn't have bridesmaids. I’m
glad we had a DJ and not a band but I wish
the DJ had followed my list of songs. But in
the end it didn't really matter because we
had a good time. I am glad, however, that
we brought a few props (funny sunglasses,
a magic wand) to the beach for our photos.
Lynn Blumenfeld of blumenfeld + fleming
http://blumenfeldandfleming.com
Looking forward…..

It’s easy to look back and say “If I knew then what I know now I’d have done things
differently”. Maybe, maybe not. We can’t go back….but we can learn from our past.
Regrets pull us down but choosing to share our insights from the lessons we all
learn in life allows us the privilege of helping others.

I hope you were inspired by the stories of things that went wrong (or so it seemed at
the time) that led some to launch their own careers. Some chose to just see the
humor and share those moments through stories that let us laugh at life’s more
challenging situations. And some touch our hearts and allow us to reflect and,
perhaps, rethink our own relationships.
If you were inspired, informed or just had a good laugh we’d be honored if you’d
share this with a friend.
As the publisher of this E-Book, I’d like to thank each you who participated in this
collaborative project….for your contribution through your heartfelt words and for the
time you gave to make this such a success!
I’d also like to thank my son, Kevin Blackwell of Studio French
(www.studiofrench.com) for the beautiful cover design. But most of all, I want to
thank him for putting up with my 997 changes of mind, for his tireless dedication
and the many revisions (sorry!) and for his never-ending encouragement and
support.
I ♥ you all! ~ Denée, CEO, www.SheJustGotMarried.com
If you’d like to contact me please email me at: Denee@SheJustGotMarried.com