I admit.

Never in my life was I so confused and unwilling to help others. I am a person of great
faith and I believe that it is in helping that I can truly serve HIM. After becoming an official
member of the Red Cross Youth of UPLB, somehow that vision of being of service to others was
realized. But being a volunteer is no easy task. You have to set aside your personal wants over
someone elses needs. It takes great effort to evade that feeling of hesitation to help rather than
be a passerby who just merely affirms whats going on and does not do anything about it. And I
admit. I once had that feeling that awful feeling of hesitation.
It was a fine Saturday morning for a Catapult War. It was a major project for Physics and
I happened to be one of those students who must get involved in loading water balloons in our
catapult. I remember that it was also the first day for the Centralized Leadership Development
Program (CLDP) and it was because of this event that I wasnt able to attend the said camp. I
was bitter for not being able to go with my fellow RCY members but it was of importance that I
am present in this event because a part of my grade depends on it. Thus, I bid goodbye to the
fun-filled CLDP and made my way to the War of Catapults.
The war began and somehow it was fun. My classmates and I were making strategies
on how to accurately shoot the water balls towards our target while also getting wet from the
water balloons shot by the other team. Amidst everyones shouts, screams, laughter and
giggles, something unexpected happened. One of our teammates, the girl holding the parallel
bars of our catapult, was injured. Her hand was on the part where the steel bar meets the beam.
Blood was gushing out from her nails and pain was painted on her face. One can tell that she
needs help immediately. I was one of the people who have seen the accident first and I admit, I
started to panic and became frantic about it.
As a member of the RCY, it was imperative that I help her. But because I was still new in
the organization and with no proper training then, I was too shocked on what happened and
everyones eyes staring at me, meaningfully saying: You have to help her because youre a
member of the Red Cross., pressured me. I started to remember all the things that my seniors
told me about first aid but all I can say was: Are you okay? I began to look for our instructor and
for possible people who might know first aid better than me, but they were nowhere in sight. If
not, they were busy with the catapult war. In the end, it was up to me to decide on what to do
with her injured hand. As a result, I took her to a shady area in Freedom Park and thus began
my act of heroism and hesitation.
As I was carefully examining how badly her nails and hand were, I can feel my
classmates enjoying the war game. I was so envious and tempted to just leave my injured friend
and go back to the field to play. At that moment, I knew what to do and that was to bring her to
the infirmary for an ice application. But I was torn between two things: the fun that I will miss or
the life that I should protect and care for. Every second that passed by is time lost and my
hesitation grew. Questions such as, Whats in it for me if I help her? or why did this happen
now, when I was having fun? and Of all people, why me? was rummaging through my head

when she held my hand, followed my gaze and told me: I can handle this. Im sorry for the
trouble. No word can express my feeling back then. All I knew is that I felt ashamed of myself.
Yes, I admit it. That hesitation was a form of greed and cowardice. And for that, I was
ashamed of myself. I was ashamed for not being able to overcome the tempting hand of my
personal desire, for not being able to realize sooner that I was the one prolonging the pain of the
injury due to my hesitation and most importantly, I was ashamed for acting childish asking why I
needed to help her. Helping others is not even something I have to think or ponder about but it
is an act of humanity. It was not imperative but it should have been human nature for me to help
her. And so, I brushed off that hesitation and accompanied her to the infirmary to get her hand
treated.
Though I missed the fun that day, I was thankful. I was thankful that I wasnt able to
attend the CLDP, thankful that I missed most of the fun in our Catapult War and thankful that
there was somebody who reminded me what volunteerism truly means.
I quote a saying from Capt. Scot OGrady: It wasn't the reward that mattered or the
recognition you might harvest. It was your depth of commitment, your quality of service, the
product of your devotion --- these were the things that counted in life. When you gave purely,
the honor in giving, and that was honor enough. It is true that all of us make mistakes and
sometimes fear and hesitation gets in our way. But it is the heart to give and self-sacrifice that
makes us humane and gets off those feelings of fear, hesitation and greed. And yes, I admit and
am proud to say that I am one of those people who have overcome these.