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Digitized by the Internet Archive


in

2011 with funding from

Open Knowledge Commons and Harvard Medical School

http://www.archive.org/details/exposuresofquackOOIond

'TO QUACK OF UNIVERSAL CURES.'


,K

^"t

-Hudibras.

V-

Exposures of Quackery
BEING A SERIES OF ARTICLES UPON, AND
ANALYSES OF,

VARIOUS PATENT MEDICINES.


lY

THE

Editor of ''Health

'

Sequah "

Lecturer

at

Hastings

VOLUME

News." ^

(sec

page

43),

LONDON
THE SAVOY

PRESS,

Ltd.,

SAVOY HOUSE,

\\\

PRICE ONE SHILLING.

STRAND, W.C

INVALID BOVRIL
SPECIALLY PREPARED

IS

FOR

USE IN THE SICK ROOM,


And

is relished and retained by invalids when ordinary


foods are rejected. It is highly concentrated, and quite
devoid of seasoning, put up in porcelain jars, and sold by
Chemists and Druggists only.

It

does not produce (as ordinary preparations do) a


A nutritious clear Beef Tea is an absolute

clear Beef Tea.


impossibility.

BOYRIL LIMITED, Food

Specialists,

LONDON, E.C.

THE RIGHT HON. LORD PLAYFAIR. G.C.B., L.L.D.;


DR. FARQUHARSON, M.P., and others.

Highest Awards at Food and Cookery Exhibitions, London.

May 1895-6'

obtaining 'HO VIS/ or what is


If any difficulty be experienced
VIS is not satisfactory, please write, sending sample
supplied as
(the cost of which will be defrayed) to
*

S.

'

FITTON & SON,

PriXTllDr

Dh VY Mii
6d.

HO

T
I

&

Millers,

MACCLESFIELD.

Bakers recommending another bread in place


of HO VIS do so for theii- own profit.

1/-

'

PUWUPl?
U ARh

-Dli

SAMPLES ON RECEIPT OF STAMPS.

T
I

EXPOSURES OF QFACKERY.
VOL.

I.

Nil

THE SAVOY PRESS,


SAVOY HOUSE,
115,

Ltd.,

STRAND, LONDON, W.O.

TO QUACK OF UNIVERSAL CURES. "-Hudilras.

Exposures of Quackery

BEING A SERIES OF ARTICLES UPON, AND

ANALYSES

OF,

VARIOUS PATENT MEDICINES.

BY THE

Editor of " Health News."

; rr.'',

>r/?i,

w\^

'.

iroi;-xj-"M[-E
'^

I.

>

LONDON
FEE SAVOY PRESS, LTD., SAVOY HOUSE,
:

PRICE

ONE

115,

SHILLING,

STRAND, W.C.

NEWS'
'HEALTH
(ILLUSTRATED),
Monthly, 3d.
The

Eleventh

Journal.

The

&

Cheapest

Best,

Official

Free for

Post

Most

Stamps.
Health

Widel^-Oircyiated

Year

Pyblloation.

of

Organ of the Anti-Acfylteration Association.

The Number for January, 1897, begins a New Volume, but subscriptions can commence from any date. Post free for 12 months, 4s.
to the consideration of Public and Individual Hygiene,
Construction, Dietetics, Foods, Beverages, Adulterations,
Health Resorts and Mineral Springs, Domestic Sanitation and
Regimen for Invalids, Sanitary Inventions, Literature, &c.

Devoted

House

Excellent Advertising

Medium

to reach the well-to-do Classes.

for all

announcements intended

Rates Moderate.

Quack

advertise-

ments are rigorously excluded.

THE SAVOY PRESS,

Ltd.,

SAYOY HOUSE,

STRAND, LONDON.

115,

PRINTING and PUBLISHING.


THE SAVOf>il^RESS,
SAVOV; IHOIJSEj;

Are

prep3,recl, tp

PRINTING AND

.115,

Ltd.,
STRAND, W.C,

undertake the

OF WORKS
EVERY CLASS OF LITERATURE AT
MODERATE CHARGES.
hulBLlSitlirijii^

MSS. read and ConfidentialJy advised upon.


ESTIMATES FREE.

IN

A.
CONTENTS OF VOL.

I.

PAGE
JrRljlPACE

Chapter I.

Law
Chapter

Patent

Medicines

Mattel's

II.

Chapter III.
Stamp "
;

Patent Medicine

13

Mixture

18

Electricities

Clarke's Blood
Protected

and

Clilorodyne,

and Anodynes

by

'^

Government
other
.

Eevalenta Arabica
V. The History
Patent

Chapter IY.

Chapter
The Sequah
Uil

..

Chapter VI.

Holloway's

Sequah's

Prairie

Mixture

Chapfer VII.
Basket

Prairie Flower

Saved

Opiates

23

29

Medicines

Mixture, and

Pills

Flower

''

of

''

..

oo

and Ointment
Clarke's
.

Blood
.

47

from the Waste Paper

Correspondence concerning Hollo-

way and Mattei

57

Chapter VIII.

Allen's World's Hair Restorer

Mexican Hair Renewer


Ointment for the Eyes

Singleton's Golden

Rowland's Kalydor,

and Gowland's Lotion for the Skin


Rupert's Skin Tonic

Chapter IX.
monials

Chapter X.

Mother

Seigel's

Clarke's

Alleged

from

Testimonial

the Reverse

Seigel

XI.
;

Quack

Syrup

Blood

Swaine Taylor, F.R.S.

Chapter

Quack Advertisements

and
.

Chapter XV.

The

76

The Obverse and


.

Pills

88

Mother

94

97

Ignorance of Quacks

Blindness of their Dupes

Dr.

late

Safe

Remedies, and the School of Safe Medicine.

The

65

The

Chapter XIII.- -The Alofas (AU-a-Farce)

Chapter XIV.

Testi-

the

Testimonials

Beecham's

Anna

Mixture

Clarke's Blood Mixture

Chapter XII.

105

The
.

112

Gold Cure for Drunkenness 116

PREFACE

^'

**

Man

is

dupable

animal/'

quacks in medicine know

knowledge.''

An

this,

wrote

Southey

and act upon that

Thomas Browne,

older writer, Sir

M.D., as able a physician as he was a sound philosopher, keenly observed


for truths," a fact

"

Men

which

often swallow falsities

even more evident now

is

than

it

was

It

is

true that the old wandering mountebanks

in his days.

peripatetic charlatans,

such-like gatherings,

generally

except

and

abounded,

when some

Co.,

who frequented
almost

alias

Sequah's

now and then draws

common

changed," but the new

striving to get rich,

their dupes

Sequah
into a
aloes

his fish

to

and cash

their teeth

what

oil

rustics,

to

" The old order

is it ?

A set of men

working upon the ignorance, the

weakness, often the helplessness, of those

make

exist,

and

Oil
gaping

the deafening music of a brass band.


is

to

gaudy waggon

country market place, and vends his


otherwise " Prairie Flower " mixture

while he

ceased

full purses

travelling representative of

Limited, drives his

and turpentine

wakes, and

fail's,

where empty pates and


have

and

either telling the

whom

they

most unblushing

8
lies,

dodging the truth

carefully

or

in

newspaper

advertisements and other pufEs, the better to create a


brisk sale for their rubbish

caring nothing for the

health of their customers, but perpetually striving to

induce them to " swallow

^^

falsities for truths

and,

moreover, availing themselves of the misleading Patent

Medicine Stamp, the payment of which comes practically

from

their dupes, not

from themselves,

to give

colour to the veiled insinuation, or the bold assertion,


that their potions,

pills, plasters,

articles are so valuable that

and other proprietary

they are " protected by the

Government stamp."

As

is

shown in the following pages, one outcome

this tax is that it leads

put a

fictitious

many

estimate

of

thousands of persons to

on these bogus remedies.

During the past year the revenue derived from patent


medicine stamps amounted to 240,062, showing an
increase

of

.14,361

over the

sum

derived from a

similar source in the previous twelve months.


for the sale of these articles

have

Licenp^s

also increased

1,340 in England, and 111 in Scotland, from which tLe

revenue obtained by Government was 7,188.

These

licenses are granted, it should be borne in mind,

grocers, drapers,

and general

stores

in

fact, to

to

every

applicant willing to pay a few shillings annually for


the privilege, without the least regard being had to

the fact that

many

of the licensees

have no knowledge

whatever of the often dangerous drugs which they

and recommend

to their customers.

sell

The most elementary acquaintance

with, the action

drugs must convince any reflecting indi-

of certain

To

yidual of the wholesale public injury thus done.


indiscriminately,

advise,

agents

medicinal

the use

powerful

such

of

opium, prussic acid, iodide of

as

potassium, aloes, and nitre, for instance, cannot fail to

Yet

do frequent and great harm.

what

this is

done

is

every day in our towns and villages throughout the


A\'hole

The

length and breadth of the Kingdom.

sole

object in taking out a license to sell patent medicines


is

income

to increase the licensee's

and in his ignor-

ance, or through his natural desire to obtain custom,

the licensee will lose no opportunity that


itself

getting rid of his wares,

for

opiates

iodide

potassium

of

ansGmic

persons

HoUoway's

Pills,

for

(Mother

Mixture)

Seigel's

Williams' Pink

for

Syruj),

Flower Mixture, Beecham's

Pills,

Pills, &c.), to delicate

nitre (Warner's Safe Cure) to individuals suffer-

ing from kidney disease, and so on through the

All

present

by recommending
young children

Blood

(Clarke's

aloes

Sequah's Prairie

women

strength

variable

of

may

this

public

injury

from

results

list.

successive

Chancellors not caring to disturb a source of yearly

income, under a quarter of a million pounds sterling.

Three
state

obvious

remedies

for

this

unsatisfactory

of things will suggest themselves,

Pequiring, as

is

already done in

that, every proprietary

many

namely

1,

other countries

medicine shall bear upon each

bottle, box, or packet in

which

it is

sold a conspicuous

10
label stating its composition
to

sell

2,

patent medicines from

knowledge of the
are selling

medicines
legislators

or, 3, as
is

only

as

persons having no

all

and action

of

what they

the question of the sale of patent

by

considered

increasing the
well as the

real nature

withholding licenses

majority

the

financial

very

one,

of

our

largely

stamp duty on patent medicines, as

amount charged

for licenses.

That the English are much behind several other


nations, as regards the enactments regulating sale of

patent medicines,

is

evident from the following facts

In France the holder of a pharmacy


under very heavy penalties, to

sell secret

is

forbidden,

remedies, or

even to keep them on his premises.

In Germany the chemist may


cines

sell

proprietary medi-

when ordered by the prescription

but he must not


medicines

remedies.

sell secret

sold

by the

of a physician

All proprietary

must be prepared

chemist

under special supervision, and according to the rules


of the national pharmacopoeia.

In Italy the following regulations

as to proprietary

medicines came into force on January

The composition,

as to the quality

and

1st,

1891

quantitj^ of

the active substances contained, must be printed on


the labels

and advertisements

virtue shall be attributed to


or

in

the

advertisements

no

them

special

either

curative

on the labels

they shall be sold only

by chemists under the surveillance of the sanitary


authorities, and with medical prescriptions.

11
In Japan a public laboratory has been established
for

The

the analysis of chemicals and patent medicines.


proprietors

are

bound

to

supply a sample of

names and proportions

each, with the

ents, directions for its use,

of the ingredi-

and an explanation

of its

alleged efficacy.

In the
the

articles reprinted in the following

Health News

in

pages from

which they appeared, we haye

endeavoured to show things in their true

light.

We

have often had occasion to speak in plain language,

and

to

Shakespeare says in
our words,"
nor,

but as
by its proper name
King Henry VI, " We'll maintain

a spade

call

if

need

arises.

We

have not extenuated,

on the other hand, have we

malice.

We

set

down aught

in

have had in view only the public good,

by the many favourable Press notices,


and the still more numerous letters which have
reached us from subscribers and other correspondents
living in every civilised country in the world, we
believe that our efforts have been both appreciated and
productive of benefit.
The kind encouragement which
and, judging

we have

received will stimulate us to fresh attacks

upon the hydra-headed monster, Quackery,


numbers

in future

of our journal.

The
Health News

Office

Savoy House,

115, Strand, "VV.C.

Editor.

Exposures of Quackeryo
CONTENTS OF VOL.
Chap.

*'

1.

Pink

Pills for

Chap.

Safe Cure.

Pale People.'' Chap.

Quack Advertising

3.

Mixture and the False Testimonial.


Morison's Pills

Chap.

Ear Drums.

Chap.

Chap.

7.

Eemedies

Quack Libel

6. St.

Mattel's Electricities

Jacob's Oil

Mother

Deafness

Medicines

Specialist "

Silverton's

Practitioners

and Pious Language;

Congreve's Balsamic Elixir

Tonic; Lane's Catarrh Cure;

Pill's.

Nicholson's

Seigel's Syrup.

Critics

Unqualified

The

"A

Chap.

Merciful Medicine, more Precious than Eubies."

Patent

Blood

Anonymous

4.

Staff;

Our Correspondents and

for

Warner's

Dixon's, Fotbergill's, and Lee's

Electric Belts

5.

2.

Clarke's

Chap.

Abuse; Warner's Safe Cure and Medical


Case

11.

8.

*'Eeverend

Owbridge's

Lung

Chap.

Quack's Certificate.

9.

Bone Setting A Patent


Newspapers; How
Bogus
Chap. 11. Quack
the Poor are Swindled Handy side's Consumption and Cancer
Cure
Electric Snuff.
Chap. 12. Mattel's Electricities in
Court; A Curious Way of Exposing Quackery. Chap. 13.
Stepney Green Diplomas.

Chap.

10.

Medicine Song.

Patent Medicine Testimonials;

Mixture

The

Man who

Pruit Salt. Chap. 14.

*^

St.

Jacob's Oil; Clarke's Blood

gave himself a Testimonial

Handy"

Still

Eno's

Shuffling. Chap.

Quack Newspapers; The Sequah Bubble Burst.

Chap.

15.
16.

Fenning's Fever Curer.

PRICE ONE SHILLING,


Post

Free for 14

Stamps

THE SAVOY PRESS,

to

any part of

LTD,, Savoy

the

Kingdom.

House, 115, Strand, W.C.

Chapter
Patent Medicines

Patent

Mattei's

For

''

Medicine

about 250,000

the

Law

Electricities."

sake of realising an annual

tlie

a gross

I.

sum

money

of

Government perpetrates

British

wrong on the community by giving

a fictitious

value and importance to the myriad quack remedies

which are

course, to the

Stamps

We

sold throughout the country.

amount

raised bj^ issuing

refer, of

Government

for articles of this class, designated as Patent

Medicines

as

but,

spade a spade,

we

The injury done

we

are in the habit of calling a

prefer

to the

to

use

the shorter name.

community by

protecting quack medicines

is

system of

this

incalculable.

say the artisan, the small tradesman's wife,

Oh "
and many
''

others in a higher position in society,

" this must be

protected by

Royal Letters

good

remedy,

And

Patent."

so

it

is

they go on, swallowing the bait as

well as the physic, whilst the proprietor reaps a golden

Government

harvest.

are

officials

always

making any changes involving them


trouble

or

succeeding

new arrangements
Chancellors

of

the

and,

in

slow

in

additional

consequently,

Exchequer leave the

14.

the Patent Medicine

question of

late years there has

been

and

Stamp

alone.

Of

very properly, too

considerable public agitation concerning the adulteration of articles of food

and drink, and

has been

it

enacted that various admixtures of this character can

only be sold with a distinctive label showing their

But there

composition.

no provision of

is

this nature

on behalf of the purchasers of quack medicines, for

which the term


misleading, as

Patent"

'^

is

misnomer, and also

only protection

the

afforded

by the

Government

stamp

nostrum,

information concerning the ingredients

all

that enter into

its

the

to

manufacturer of the

composition being withheld.

new and

Patents for

them the

is

sole right of

useful inventions carry with

making, using, or selling such

inventions for a limited period only, namely fourteen


years,

and before they can be obtained the person

seeking the patent must deposit at the Patent Office

a description of the invention.

make

large

and

nothing

is

frequent payments,

In the case

patent lapses.

Moreover, he has to

required by

way

of

otherwise the

" Patent "

medicines,

of proving either novelty

or utility, while the composition remains a mystery.

All that the manufacturer has to do

is

to

pay for a

given number of stamps, only three-halfpence each,

and he can dose

buy the

make
or

stuff

as

many

people as he can induce to

with the most noxious drugs, or he can

a pile of

money by

selling coloured water, soap,

any other commodity, very cheap when purchased

15

and capable

in bulk,

or taste

before

it

of being disguised in appearance

passed on

is

consumer in

to the

smaller quantities.

A controversy was
of

our

for

some time carried on in one


tbe

contemporaries,

National

cerning the " Electrical Remedies

'^

con-

introduced by an

This discussion would certainly have

Italian Count.

terminated at an earlier stage had


to Dr.

Review,

it

sooner occurred

Herbert Snow, one of the medical

stafi of

the

Cancer Hospital at Brompton, to submit samples of


Mattel's

''

analyst.

He

Remedies

Electrical

did

report

made by

Mr. A.

W.

so,

however,

^'

to

competent

and the subjoined

the well-known chemical authority,

Stokes,

is

worthy of study.

Analytical Laboratory, Vestry Hall,

Paddington Green, W.,


October

Dear

Sir,

On

21st,

October 2nd I received from you three small

Government patent medicine stamp, each


securely sealed with a wax, unbroken, seal of a castle on a rock.
I have now carefully examined these chemically, physically, and
microscopically, and I find as follows

bottles bearing the

They were labelled, **Elettricita Bianca,'' *' Elettricita


Verde," and *' Elettricita Eossa.''
To find if they possessed any special magnetic properties,
they were placed singly in thin glass tubes

these tubes were

Under such circumstances, an


suspended by
electrical body would point one end to the north and the other
Not one of these came to rest in such a position
to the south.
silk filaments.

16
neither were any of

them attracted by a magnet as a magnetic


Hence they certainly are not magnetic.

body should be.


Other tests showed that they were not electrical.
To delicate test-paper they were perfectly neutral.
table extracts are usually either alkaline or acid; even

when

fresh,

Odour

Polarity
gravity

Specific

Elettricita

Elettricita

Elettricita

Bianca
(White

Verde.
(Green

Rossa.

Solid matter in 100 parts

Metals

(Red

Electricity.)

Electricity.)

None
None
None
None

None
None
None
None

None
None
None
None

1-0006

1-0002

1-0002

O'Ol

0-01

None
None

None
None

001
None
None

(dis-

water=l)

tilled

neutral

Electricity.)

Taste

if

they speedily change.

They had the following characters

Colour

Vege-

*
.

Alkaloids

,.

The microscope showed an absence

of

any floating

particles

or sediments such as are usually present in vegetable extracts.

There
qualities

None

but one substance which possesses

is

that

is

all

the above

water.

of these fluids differ at all

from water in any

of their

properties.

Yours

faithfully,

Alf.

W. Stokes,

F.C.S., F.I.C.,

Public Analyst to Paddington, Bethnal Green,

and

St.

Luke's

Gas Examiner to the

London County
*

By

motals

medicinally.

is

meant any foreign

to water, or

Council.

any such as are used

17

The
*'

analysis speak fully for

itself.

The Count has

beaten the record " in producing an article absolutely

negative in

and there can be no other

character,

its

when we think

feeling than one of indignation

who have been deluded

poor creatures
the

Count's specifics

white,

green,

of the

into the use of

and

red.

But

even in description of colour the Count has broken


faith with his credulous customers, for, according to

Mr. Stokes, the green and the red


devoid of colour as the white.

may have been

named

so

electricities are as

Possibly the green

out of a delicate compliment

to the Count's admirer's, while the absence of colora-

tion

may be

intended to heighten the joke.

Count has been oblivious

as regards the colour,

not forgotten the charge

If the

he has

for these precious electric

remedies, which, according to the Count's dupes, will,

when

administered

in

drops,

cure

cataract,

broken bones, and remedy every other

human

nature

is liable,

ill

to

mend
which

are sold at the rate of 3s. 9d.

for a small phial containing three-fourths of an ounce.

money market has recovered from its


unspeculative condition, we shall really expect

As soon
low,

as the

to see in the financial papers

as follows
'*

Wanted,

few persons

chasing water at
at 5s.

an advertisement worded

an ounce

Is.

"
!

to join a syndicate for pur-

per 1,000 gallons, and retailing

it

Chapter

II.

Clarke's Blood Mixture.

In our
^^

chapter

first

we pointed

patent/' as applied to patent medicines,

leading, for the purchaser


to

the nature of

either that he

water, as

word

out that the


is

most mis-

wholly in the dark as

is left

The consequence
money upon a bottle

what he buys.

may

lay out his

shown by the

analysis of Mattel's

Remedies," published in Chapter


unwittingly dose himself or some

I.,

*'

of

Electrical

or that he

member

is,

may

of his family

with the most potent drugs,

and thus cause very

serious injury to health, even

if

worse consequences

should not result.

Judging by the numerous communications which


have reached

us, it is

medicines

one of general

is

considerable

number

evident that the subject of patent


interest,

and that a very

of thinking people are of accord

with us as to the urgent desirability of amending the

law relating

Many

to

them.

of our correspondents

ask for

concerning various advertised nostrums.


so vast that

we

are at a loss to decide

tion to take next

information

The

field is

what prepara-

as a topic of discussion only,

thank

19
Well, we will deal with the

goodness

comes

hand from

to

heap in front of

who

a lady subscriber

we

It is

us.

from

apparently with no

inquires,

small misgivings (which

that

first letter

shall presently prove to be

well founded), whether she, being in delicate health,

is

right in continuing the use of Clarke's Blood Mixture.

Recollecting that this indentical mixture was re-

ported upon by Dr. Alfred Swaine Taylor, F.R.S.,

we

years ago,
Lancet,

and in that
headed

of a letter
^'

Report

1875 we found, forming part

for
''

Quack Medicines, '^

a copy of the

of Analysis of a liquid described as

the

'

Clarke'ji

Blood Mixture or Purifier,' " by Dr.

World-Famed
Taylor,

volumes of the

referred to the back

eminent

late

and

analyst

on

lecturer

The exami-

medical jurisprudence at Guy's Hospital.

nation of an eight-ounce bottle of the mixture showed


the ingredients to be as follows

VA grains

minims

potash, 30
to

give

directed

chloric

the
to

nated a

'

solution

of

water coloured with burnt sugar

four

this,''

tint,

times

It has

common

?^alt,

and

'

'^

day.
^'

says Dr. Taylor,

blood mixture

nitre,

of potassium,

The dose
7J ounces.
be administered was one tablespoonful

incomprehensible.

than

Iodide

4 drachms

ether,

requisite

(half-an-ounce)

mixture as

Why

should be desig-

blood purifier

no more claim

sal

such

'

is

to this title

ammoniac, or other

saline

medicines which operate on and through the blood by


absorption.

Its

properties

{i.e.,

those

potassium) are well known, and there

is

of

iodide

of

no novelty in

20

The only novelty

employment.

its

mixture

that

is

the

iodide

dissolved

is

coloured with burnt sugar, and that


a

The four

blood purifier.'

it

doses

is

it

directed

may

to

be

the person

if

not under medical observation,

daily quantity as this

water

in

described as

is

taken daily represent sixteen grains, and


taking

form of

in this

such a

accumulate in the system

In some constitutions the iodide of

and do mischief.

potassium frequently taken proves specially injurious.

lodism

It produces iodism."

sj^mptoms

show

poisoning

special

of

the condition

is

when

themselves,

&c.,

in

cases of mercurial

have purposely quoted

at

some length from

similar to the

salivation,

poisoning.

We

Dr. Taylor's report, partly because

such

because

and

high

the

facts

it

emanates from

unimpeachable authority, partly


are

by him with marked

stated

moderation.

As regards

the

deleterious

effects

iodide

of

of

potassium, in unsuitable cases, or in long- continued


doses,

all

other medical authorities fully agree with

Taylor.

Dr.

physician

to

For
and

lecturer

Sidne)^

Ringer,

Universitj"

College

Dr.

instance.
at

Hospital, writing about this drug in his


of

Therapeutics," says that

continued for a long period, or


great susceptibility to

its

also that this condition

doses

The

if
if

its

""

Handbook

administration

is

the patient manifests

action, iodism is prodviced

may

arise

after

very small

parts chiefly affected in iodism arc the

21
the

eyes,

the mouth,

nose,

bowels; there

also

is

and

stomach,

the

the

sometimes a distinct skin erup-

Inflammation of the mucous membranes cover-

tion.

ing the eyes, running at the nose, a form of salivation


resembling

nausea, with loss of appetite, all or

symptoms

and

caused by mercury, purging,

that

some

of

these

then make their appearance.

will

^*

grain or even less," writes Dr. Ringer, ^^may affect


the
**

stomach "

moreover,

he

observes

elsewhere,

Iodide of potassium sometimes produces distressing

mind and body.

depression of
irritable,

dejected, listless,

The

patient becomes

and wretched.

Exercise

soon produces fatigue, and perhaps fainting."

We

could quote hundreds of similar proofs of the

danger arising from the indiscriminate administration


of this powerful
this so-called

has been
sceptical

said

that

^^

drug which constitute the

basis of

blood mixture"; but, surely, enough

on this point
iodide

of

to

convince the most

potassium should never be

given except in selected cases, and under the supervision of a qualified practitioner.

Yet the printed

directions

accompanying a

Clarke's Blood Mixture which


after

recommending

cure
'*

for

we

bottle of

recently purchased,

this preparation as a never-failing

whole host of

diseases,

state

warranted free from anything injurious

that

to the

it

is

most

delicate constitution of either sex."

We

will leave our readers to

on this question.

form

their

own

opinion

Before quitting the subject we

may

22

mention with regard

to the

manufacturer of this blood

mixture that the analysis of the bottle just referred

made

in

the laboratory

of

Mr.

W.

Alfred

to,

Stokes,

F.C.S., public analyst to Paddington, Bethnal Green,

and

St.

Luke's,

gives

only 48

j)otassium in the eight ounces.

grains

We

iodide of

of

infer, therefore,

that at some period subsequent to 1875, the


facturers,

out

of

deference

to

Dr.

Taylor's

manuviews,

diminished the quantity of this drug so as to reduce


the dose from four to three grains.
the reduction was not carried

still

It

further.

is

a pity that

Indeed,

if

the iodide of potassium had been omitted altogether,


the warranty might have been given on better ground

than now, while a corresponding increase of the water

and burnt sugar could have done no possible harm


*'

the most delicate constitution of either sex."

to

Chapter

III.

'^Protected by Government Stamp'*; Chlorodyne,

AND other Opiates and Anodynes.

Amongst
have

elicited

which

correspondence

the

we have

from a gentleman

at

ask you a question

received

Shrewsbury
about

quack

articles

following letter

the

these

*^

I should like to

medicines,

which

perhaps you will kindly answer in an early number of

Of course

your journal.

Taylor has said as to the probable


Clarke's Blood Mixture
case

which

I cannot

now

find

who cured

by taking two or three

mixture

Did

it

of taking-

mentioned in Clarke's

in his legs

it

effects

but what do you say to the

advertisements, of a pauper

what Dr.

I do not dispute

bottles of the blood

never happen, or

that the doctors could not cure

several holes

him

if it

did,

how was

"

Like our correspondent, we cannot find any particulars of the case

upon which he seems

the reputation of this


the

ills

that

trouble

Advertisem.ents
reading, but

'^

world-famed "

specific for all

humanity must stand or

occasionally

we must

to think that

fall.

much amusing
when we come to a

furnish

confess that

quack advertisement we commonly pass

it

by.

It

24

may

we

be that

along the

all

get tired of the

we

that

line, or

monotony

of successes

are too matter-of-fact in

our views to believe in modern miracles

consequently

we have not made, even

in print, the acquaintance of

the pauper referred

Our correspondent

we

fore,

merits

case

whatever.

of

articles

is

upon

to

its

which we possess no knowledge


our correspondent

Besides,

wide of the mark.


of

will there-

see our inability to discuss

trust,

to.

Our

somewhat

is

object in writing this series

urge the necessity of altering the

present system of issuing

Government

stamps

for

quack preparations, seeing that a very large propor-

community

tion of the

that the words

*'

entertains the mistaken notion

Protected by Government Stamp''

convey some sort of guarantee as

Unfortunately, the reverse of this

ingredients.
fact

and hundreds

under the

aegis of the

throughout
Further,
the

the

of

Clarke's

potent

in

and
the

Blood

breadth of

Mixture

potassium, a drug of such powerful

many
rate

persons, even
doses,

while

it

it

distributed

the

is

action

when administered

produces most

are

land.

chapter

previous

that

iodide

of

that,

in

in very

distressing

the

quack

harm,

for

Government stamp

length

we showed

basis

is

of thousands of gallons of

containing drugs

medicines,

to the value of the

mode-

symptoms,

should never be given for any length of time

except under proper medical advice and supervision.

When
shall

this

be

general statement has been refuted,

quite

we

ready to deal with individual cases

25

have been cured.

alleged to

sium were

If the iodide of potas-

as innocuous in its nature as

sugar with which the Blood Mixture

the burnt

flavoured and

is

there would be admittedly less reason for

coloured,

these strong remarks


''

Taylor, F.R.S.

The

made by

Professor A. Swaine

sale of medicines of this

kind

should be strictly prohibited, unless the bottles containing

them were

issued with a caution label setting

forth their true composition.

It is only reasonable

that a person should

know what he

Various

countries

purchasing.''

have recognised

this

and have framed laws prohibiting the

sale

Continental

necessity,

is

of any alleged remedies, of which the composition

not publicly

made known.

According
laid

down

is

to

the Sale of Poisons Act,

it is

specially

that certain regulations must be observed

with respect to the selling of different poisons, the


penalty for the breach of these regulations being
for

the

offence.

first

It

is

offence,

and 10

for each subsequent

enacted that upon the sale of any of these

poisons, the box, vessel, or cover in

tained must be labelled with the

the word '^poison," and the


vendor.
loids

and

which

name

name and

it is

con-

of the article,

address of the

AVith respect to poisonous vegetable alkatheir salts

(hydrochlorate of morphia, for

example), no such article

unknown to the
person known to

seller,

may
unless

be sold

to

any person

introduced by some

the seller, and upon every svich sale

the seller must, before delivery, enter in a book to be

26
kept for that purpose the date, the name, and address
of the purchaser,

name and quantity

the

sold,

and the purpose

must

also cause the purchaser

for

which

it

is

of

poison

required,

and the person

and

intro-

ducing the purchaser to sign their names therein.

Yet the provisions

of this important

Act are openly

violated

by the

poisons

and bearing the Government patent stamp.

Take the

sale of preparations containing these

case

of

chlorodyne,

for

The

instance.

analysis of the widest-known preparation bearing this

name, sold

as CoUis

by Mr. A.

for us

W.

Browne's Chlorodyne, was made


Stokes, F.C.S., F.I.C., and that

gentleman reported that in an ounce bottle he found


six

drachms

hemp, and
with

of chloroform, a small quantity of Indian


six

hydrochlorate of morphia,

grains of

An

some unimportant ingredients.

published some years ago, by Dr.

Wynter

in addition to the various poisons

twelve

Stokes,

analysis,

Blyth, gave,

enumerated by Mr.

drops of Scheele's prussic acid in a

rather larger quantity of chlorodyne.


that the prussic acid

is

Now, supposing

at the present

what conclusion can we come

to as

time omitted,

regards the two

poisons in largest proportion, namely, chloroform and

hydrochlorate of morphia, both of which are of course


included in the schedule of poisons coming under the

Act

to

which we have referred

The dose

of hydrochlorate

ministered medically,
a grain

is

of morphia,

when

ad-

one- eighth of a grain to half

of chloroform, three to ten drops.

In one

27
ounce of CoUis Browne's Chlorodyne, by Mr. Stokes^
showing, there would be the equivalent of twelve full
doses of morphia, and thirty-six full doses of chloro-

form.
If a person

wanted

to

buy

drachms

six

of chloroform^

he would most certainly find considerable


procuring

it

but put that amount in a bottle with

other poisons, clap on a

stamp, and

it

difficulty in

Government three-halfpenny

can be bought with almost as

as the harmless treacle

The quantity

with which

of this

it is

much

flavoured

and other chlorodynes

ease

sold is

something enormous, far surpassing the imagination


of

anyone who has not given attention

Taken, at

first,

in small doses

to the matter.

by the unhappy persons

who drug themselves with

chlorodyne,

become gradually habituated

to its use,

the

victims

and many

fall

sooner or later, a prey to the craving for morphia.

This craving once established, they become as completely slaves to the practice of swallowing chlorodyne
in

extraordinary quantities

smoking opium, or a Malay

Chinaman does to
using Indian hemp,

as a
to

with the inevitable consequence that physical, mental,

and moral deterioration must

follow.

druggist in business at the

mentioned

to a friend of ours

West End

recently

numerous instances

of

morphia- craving which had come under his own cognisance.

One young woman purchased from him

in

a fortnight forty-two ounces of chlorodyne, the whole


of

which quantity she herself consumed.

In another

28
case, a

man

regularly bought every day for years a

4s. 6d. bottle.


bill for

tbird, a lady

consumer ran up a

cblorodyne amounting to 13 in six montbs,

in addition to
chase.

In a

what she paid

But even

this

last

for at the time of pur-

case

seems moderate in

comparison with that of the wife of a well-known actor,

who
for

in six

90

months became indebted

for chlorodyne, a matter

to her chemist

which the circum-

stance of the bill being disputed brought into public

knowledge.

The revelations made at the inquest on Dr. Lyddon,


in what was styled the Faversham Mystery, showed
how feeble in body and mind the votaries of morphiadrugging become
it

while, in a cause celehre in Paris,

was brought out in evidence that the unfortunate

lady concerned had expended more than 25,000 francs

(1,000) upon the purchase of morphia, with the most


baneful results to her physical and mental condition.

Chapter

TV.

Revalenta Arabica.

We

saw some time since a monster advertisement,

which took up the greater part


setting

daily paper,
virtues

of

Du

the

forth

page in a London

of a

marvellous

Revalenta

Barry's

curative

The

Arabica.

advertisement professes to give a great deal of infor-

who Du Barry
Originally, there may have been a man who
is.
slipped
Du in front of his name because it looked
like ^'Dr.," but at present we understand that ^'the
mation, though not a word

^^

show

"

is

''

run by a syndicate.

From asthma
down

to vertigo,

resist this

said as to

is

right

away

alphabet

the

no disease has ever been known

to

wonderful remedial agent, according to the

published specimens of the


compositors
are

through

100,000

will be careful with the

hope

(we

noughts

our

there

plenty of them) testimonials of cures which the

proprietors profess to have in their possession.

these testimonials are

by reason

And

of

them quite

respectable

of their age, bearing such dates, for instance,

as 1850, 1852,
older, for

many

Besides,

and the

like,

while some

they have no date at

such

people

of

rank,

may

be even

all.

too

for

example,

30
Marchioness de Brehan, of Versailles, whose cure

numbered 58,614,

'^

so

felt

dreadfully low-spirited

that even the voice of her maid annoyed her.


is

no novelty in ladies being annoyed

their maids, particularly

if

^^

There

at the voices of

the latter, irritated by their

mistresses' scolding, should ''give


as

is

it

them back again,"

would be said when subsequently describing the


the

incident in

servants'

However, the poor

hall.

marchioness must have been in a very bad way, for


she asserts that
as French,

*'

many

medical men, English as well

had prescribed

The

in vain.''

last three

words remind us of the doggerel epitaph,

''Affliction

sore long time I bore, physicians were in vain," &c.


It rather puzzles us, as the marchioness has not

any

light

upon the matter,

trived to consult so

French town
which one

to

make

out

many English

how

thrown

she con-

physicians at the

of Versailles, but that

is

mere

detail,

loses sight of in rejoicing that she not only

recovered her health,

but was able

to

resume

her

social position.

How

nice,

and how thoughtful

of

Du

Barry

&

Co. to

give us the cases of such interesting people, instead of


vulgar,

common paupers

like the

one who

is

said to

have cured the holes in his legs by taking Clarke's


Blood

Mixture

Looking

business point of view, too,

it

the

at

costs

matter from a

no more

to advertise

a marchioness's testimonial than a pauper's.


advice to quacks

and

let

is

Stick

the paupers go to the

to

the

people

workhouse.

So our
of

title,

31

**A fool and his money are soon parted/' as our


readers will presently see

not

that

we

consider our-

having a special reason for the purchase.

selves the fool,

We

invested two shillings in a half-pound packet of

Uu

Barry's Revalenta Arabica at a chemist's shop in

the Strand, being particular about

caution against cheap foods.

pound cannot be
it

must have

we

as

will

On

being

Du

Barry's,

manufacturers of this article have issued a

the

as

its

Tw^o shillings for a half-

said to be cheap, w^hen

we

state that

cost the manufacturers probably a penny,

show

directly.

we forwarded our purchase to an


eminent analyst. We will let him take up the story
for a while, for we must confess that the following
report nearly carried away our breath
the next day

Analytical Laboratory, Vestry Hall,

Paddington Green, W.,


February 14th.

Dear

pound

Sir,

On

tin of "

Du

February lOth I received from you a halfBarry's Revalenta Arabica Food."

enclosed in unopened wrappers.

This was

have now made a careful

chemical and microscopical examination of the material.


I

into

am

of opinion that

a fine powder.

it

consists solely of lentils

ground up

could detect no added ingredient

possessing any medicinal or other properties.


I remain, yours faithfully,

Alf. W. Stokes, F.C.8., F.I.C.,

To

Public Analyst.

the Editor,

With

this

report Mr.

Stokes returned to us the

wrappers and copy of testimonials which they had


contained.

The

testimonials were, as far as

we took

32
the

trouble

and there was the same lengthy

for which, to use

Du

delicious food

the only cure.''

word
of

which

those

to

our attention in the newspaper advertise-^

attracted

ment

similar

ascertain,

to

''only

is

" in

italics,

being

lentils

&

Barry

the

of diseases^

Co/s own words,

because

only

list

We

have put the

we never

cure

before heard

consumption,

for

deafness, diabetes, dropsy, paralysis,

*^thia

and many other

serious disorders.

On

wrapper

the

number

given a small woodcut of

had almost cured them

presumably engaged in cultivating

words printed underneath


grown, and imported by
If

Du

Barry

men, very scantily clad (they look

of black

as if Revalenta

is

&

Du

''

of clothing),

lentils,

with the

Discovered, exclusively

&

Barry

Co."

Co. really discovered lentils, their

firm must, indeed, be of long standing, seeing that this

leguminous plant was well known

and other ancient

nations.

exclusively growing lentils,

where they accomplished

why

lentils

learn

this extraordinary feat,

which

rate

[vide

Mr.

a fine powder "

and

In the name of the Prophet,

figs,"

suggested by

Du

lentils

Stokes'

was the cry

the itinerant fruit-seller in the old Eastern


of the profit, lentils,"

''

Mark Lane.

report) can be purchased in bulk at

name

Co.'s

can be bought at any corn chandler's shop

ground up into

the

Hebrews

As to Du Barry &
we should like to

for about twopence per pound, at

''

to the

is

the

tale.

*'

of

In

new reading

Barry's Revalenta Arabica.

Chapter V.

The History
Sequah

One

''

of Patent Medicines

The

Prairie Flower " Mixture, and Oil.

of our colonial subscribers asks us bow,

regard to tbe origin of tbe word

came

^^

patent," tbat term

to be applied to preparations of

position

is

wbicb tbe com-

Tbe misnomer

kept secret.

baving

arose in tbis

way.

During tbe reign


and incompetence

of

lost

George

wbose obstinacy

III.,

our fairest colony, America,

and raised tbe National Debt from 138,000,000


794,000,000,

tbe Ministers were

exercised in tbeir minds as to tbe

frequently

means

to

mucb

of raising-

Tbe Cbancellor of tbe Excbequer of tbat


period betbougbt bim of quack medicines, and an
Act of Parliament was passed (23rd George III.,

money.

cap.

62)

^'

to

grant to His Majesty a stamp duty on

licenses to be taken out

by

certain persons uttering

and vending medicines, and certain stamp duties on


medicines sold under sucb licenses, or under autbority
of

His Majesty's Letters Patent."

subsequent Act,

in 1785, designated tbese medicines as

*^

prepared or

compounded by any person or persons wbatsoever

''

34

who had
unknown

or claimed to have

'*

any occult or

or some exclusive right or

art,

secret or

title to their

manufacture/' the same being advertised or recom-

mended
relief of

way

''

as

or

specifics

otherwise for the cure or

any ailment or malady incident

any

or in

to,

human body."
The otherwise in
applies quite as much to quack medi-

affecting, the

this definition

day

cines at the present

as it did then.

It will be seen that the

these secret quack

term

compounds

is

*'

patent" applied to

used in the sense of

'^privileged" (by letters patent), and not of ''open or

divulged."

In 1875 an act was passed reducing the medicine


license duty,

which previously had ranged from

five

shillings to forty shillings in different localities, to the

uniform

amount

of

five

shillings

throughout

the

The consequence of this reduction


greatly increase the number of patent medicine

United Kingdom.

was

to

vendors.

new

In 1874, the year before the passing of the

Act, the licenses taken out were 12,430

now

the

number is about double that considerably


over 20,000, The question naturally arises. Who are
these patent medicine vendors ?
The official register

annual

of chemists

and druggists

the Pharmaceutical

Society

tained 13,812 names.


assistants

behalf,

for a recent year, kept

of

Great Britain, con-

Deducting one-third, as being

and not carrying on business on

we can account

by

their

own

for (roughly estimating) 9,000

chemists, leaving nearly 15,000 licenses in the hands

35
of various tradesmen

shopkeepers

wholly

grocers,

drapers,

unacquainted

and general

with

even

the

rudiments of chemical knowledge, yet authorised by

law to deal in secret medicines, often of the most

The

dangerous character.
be procured

we

ease with

now more

refer

which these can

particularly to the

and other narcotic preparations

<3piate

has

led to a

widespread system of home- drugging, while


doubtedly responsible for

many

but always very

is

un-

deaths, especially of

from mere misadven-

<ihildren, not invariably arising

ture,

it

difficult to detect

and bring

to

light.

Well might a coroner


that

''it

is

tion

of

opium

in

how many

impossible to say

killed annually
this

by soothing syrups."

class

that

some form or

remark

of large experience

infants are

Every prepara-

we have examined

contains

other.

Various remedies have been suggested for this most


unsatisfactory

condition

the increase of the

Some propose

things.

of

now very

small license duty to

8uch an amount as would deter

many

of the present

holders from dealing in such questionable and even

dangerous merchandise.

Others,

again,

urge

the

repeal of the stamp duty on patent medicines, because


it

conveys to the public a sort of Government guarantee.

To our mind the question


of

the

stamp

duty

character, and, as

it is

is

of the increase or removal


of

comparatively

of a fiscal nature,

minor

might be

to the consideration of the Chancellor of the

left

Exchequer

36

We

for the time being.

should, however, lean to an

increase of the stamp duty, and to a very great increase of the charge for the patent medicine license,

which ought

to

be restricted to chemists and druggists

alone, so as to facilitate bringing the articles sold as

Pharmacy

patent medicines under the provisions of the


'^

Act, 1868, also called


poisons

nothing

Act

to regulate the sale of

contained

hereinbefore

with

interfere

An

out of which section xvi., enacting

'^

making

the

that

extend to or

shall

or

'^

dealing

in

patent

medicines," should be removed.

But the great reform necessary


of

the legislature

make

it

Continental

of

unlawful to

to take a leaf out

is

countries,

and

to

any patent medicine without

sell

previously placing on the bottle or box in which

it is

issued to the public a legible description of the contents.

By

as chicory

law the

sale of certain articles of food,

and margarine,

is

such

prohibited without a label

apprising the purchaser of the nature of the substance

which he

is

How much

buying.

more

the

is

it

desirable, in the interests of the purchasers of patent

medicines, that they should be duly warned as to the

which contain potent drugs

composition of articles

inimical to health and often dangerous to

Further,
clearly

if

stamp duty be continued,

made known

that

nature of a tax, and not

of

life ?

it is

as

to

it

should be

be regarded as of the

now commonly supposed

as an authoritative guarantee of the quality or value

the

preparation.

'^

Protected by

Her

Majesty\s,

37

Royal Letters Patent "

is

which

statement

has

deluded hundreds of thousands of purchasers of quack


remedies.

But

the manufacturers of quack medicines are

if

concerning the actual ingredients of the stuff

silent

by them, they cannot

concocted

charged with

be

similar reticence respecting the pretended virtues of

such

Bold

components.

assertion

their

is

anchor, and equally bold advertisement

man

is

sheet-

the

talis-

with which they conjure the coin out of the

pockets

their

of

prietors of

credulous

The

customers.

quack medicines are evidently indoctrinated

with the views expressed by Carlyle when he


'^

Great Britain contains so

mostly

pro-

fools,

^'

many

said,

millions of people

and they go for the

'^

mostly

''

with an

energy and determination worthy of a better cause,


sparing

no

and

expense,

stopping

short

no

at

assurances.

Some

little

time back

we bought

small bottle

(two ounces for two shillings) of Sequah's

Flower," and sent


examination.
in

face

of

it

to

positive

it

statements

published in the prospectus which

purchase

Well,

we

Prairie

an analyst for the purpose of

But why examine


the

*^

(some

and

may

ask)

certificate

accompanied our

like to be independent,

and

as

we did not stand in need of Sequah's stuff ourselves,


while, we have too much regard for our quadruped
friends to experiment on them, we had no alternative
between smashing our shilling per ounce treasure or

38
forwarding

it

to

Mr. Stokes,

so to his laboratory

In a circular headed " Sequah's

and

all

about

it

"

is

it

went

Prairie Flower

most glowing description of the

mineral springs of the Pacific slope of North America.

From

this

the

transition

easy

is

Montana

springs on the borders of the


''

the most noted of

them

all

the wonderful

to

Territory,

" having been secured

by purchase by Sequah, Limited, ^' as far


and the United Kingdom are concerned."
should doubt
''

this,

he can

solicitor,"

documents

been

legal

have

If

anyone

by application

test it

Company's London

Europe

as

to the

whose hands the

in

placed

through

but,

some singular oversight, both the name and address


of this official have been omitted.

that the

we

Next,

learn

Edinburgh Evemng Dkpatch (no year given)

suggests that invalids, to obtain benefit, must go out

and take the waters on the

^*

spot.

so far as a

but

it

is

But

as the people cannot

the writer adds


''

classes,

(displaying

his

who can

so costly a

go to the springs,"
ecstasy

capital

in

Sequah has brought the Springs to

THE People.

It

was found that the water could be

concentrated by careful evaporation and


its

circular,

utterly impossible for the poor, for business

spend neither the time nor the money for

letters),

very

few wealthy individuals are concerned,

men, and for the bulk of the middle

trip.

is all

Sequah

well," continues the compiler of the


^'

This

curative

virtues

advantage of this

and

fact,

Sequah,

and made

still

Limited,
it

their

retain

took

business

39
to bring these waters before the public in a

AND

Convenient

closely associated

Cheap

Rheumatism is
with the great group of Stomach
Form.

For

AND Liver Complaints, and it was found necessary, in order to ensure a Complete and Permanent Cure, to combine this mineral water with
certain Vegetable Extracts, several of which are
also

valuable

woods and

Indian

prairies of the

pounded, Prairie

away the

and found in the

medicines,

And

Far West.

Flower

is

thus com-

undoubtedly far and

remedy ever yet introduced

best

complaints and other Chronic

for

all

Diseases.''

sorts

of

Who

but a sceptic could doubt the assurances con-

veyed with the aid of capital

letters,

being quite inadequate for the purpose

ordinary type

Moreover, we learn from another circular that

**

this

wonderful and world-renowned preparation has been


in use

amongst the Sioux,

Cherokees,

Comanches,

Apaches, and several other tribes of North American


Indians for hundreds of years.''

Sequah, Limited

have used

'*

this

If the

Steady, there, Messrs.

North American Indians

wonderful and world-renowned pre-

paration " for a period extending as far back as the

discovery of America,

have invented
friendship
traveller,

it ?

with

who

the

spent

how comes

We

it

that

enjoyed for

late

much

Mr.

Catlin,

of his life

you claim

many
the

years

to

eminent

(more than a

quarter of a century) amongst the native tribes of

North America, and we have, on numerous occasions,

40
discussed with

him the primitive remedies employed

by the Indians.

Never, either in his conversations or

in the published accounts of his travels, did Mr. Catlin

even refer

to the

^^

Yet he was a keen

Prairie Flower."

observer and a careful recorder of

that related to

all

the habits and domestic customs of the Indians.

The
aloes,

fact

is

that the Sequah writer

is all

wrong, for

botanic extract" found in the

^^

the

Flower,"

is,

obtained from the East and

^^

West

where the North Americans Indians are not

Prairie
Indies,

likelv to

have gone in search of that drug, so that the

West

" statement

is

absolutely nothing
cinallj^,

ance as

of such

obviously far fetched.

new

is

an ancient pharmaceutical acquaint-

Another matter
is

There

in the administration, medi-

in falsely describing the countries

attention

Far

Consequently, the sole novelty consists

aloes.

procured.

''

that aloes

to

whence

this

drug

is

which we would draw

uncertain, and in the case of

is

very delicate persons and children often injurious, in


its

action, unless regulated

bined with

it

but

by other medicines com-

Sequah, Limited, take so

if

whence

trouble as not to learn

can hardly be expected

to

little

drug comes, they

inform themselves as

to its

properties.

At

the same time that

to our analyst,

we

also

Oil for examination.

we

"
sent the " Prairie Flower

submitted a bottle of Sequah's

The following

report upon both articles

is

a copy of his

41
Analytical Laboratory,

W.

Yestry Hall, Paddington Green,

March
Dear

Sir,

On

February 20th

Sequah's " Prairie Flower."

from you a two-

I received

and

ounce bottle of Sequah's Oil

13th.

two-ounce bottle

These were

still

in

unopened

and were sealed by the unbroken patent stamp

wi'appers,

of

of

the Inland Revenue.

On

analysis, I

The

found as follows

Sequah Oil"

"

oil of

of

consists

turpentine and one -third fish

a mixture of two-thirds

scented with a few drops of

oil,

camphor.

The Sequah

Water
Aloes

'

Prairie Flower " contains in

735 grains
.

Carbonate of soda

und a few drops

two ounces

105

,,

'^o

,y

capsicum and myrrh.

of the tinctures of

This medicine being reputed to be

made from "a Mineral

Water and Vegetable Extracts found

in

the Far West,"

carefully looked for the usual constituents of ordinary mineral

water

but, excepting the carbonate of soda, I found none.

I remain.

Yours

faithfully,

Alfred W. Stokes,
To

Public Analyst.

the Editor.

The carbonate

F.C.S., F.I.C.,

of soda

is

doubtless added for the

purpose of keeping the aloes in a state of solution, so


that

it

looks very

much

as

if

the vaunted

'^

Mineral

Water'' came from no more remote source than the


ordinary house-tap.

As

regards the Wequah Oil, that

like the

method resorted

to

is

decidedly fishy,

by Sequah, limited,

for

42

The bulk

getting publicity for their wares.


preparations

obtain

advertisements

and

notoriety

mural

the

of

quack

through newspaper

posters

taking advantage

Limited,

of

but

Sequah,

falsely

assumed

connection between a watery solution of East and

West Indian

aloes

and the North American Indians,

send out itinerant lecturers

English ''Cheap Jacks"

highways

into

sham-Indian, half

the market-places and

Sequah

to spout rhapsodical praises of

This,

These lecturers, more numerous.

and Sequah That.

by

half

far than the knaves in several packs of cards (we

mention the knaves through a natural sequence of


thought), are distributed in various towns, and succeed
at

any

rate in one thing,

and that

is

peace and quiet of any locality that

Being

with their presence.


clap- trap talk,

and

in disturbing the

may

be pestered

glib of tongue, ready with

liberal in treating the

mob, they

soon get around them a set of partisans, whose number


is

rapidly swollen by loungers and others.

In the course of a recent

trial

for

slander, the

defendant being a Sequah lecturer at Croydon,


stated

by counsel that the

was upwards

of a dozen

total

number

of these

nearer a score, indeed.

was

it

men
Yet

their hearers are led to foolishly imagine that each

the only
is

''

Sequah "

is

while, as a matter of fact, there

not a single fellow amongst the whole crew entitled

to the

name.

A correspondent

has favoured us with a description

of (me of these meetings,

from which we

will quote

43
*'In a field there

was drawn up a highly-decorated

which during part of the day had paraded the


brass

band

sitting in

it.

up

streets

with a

Flaring lamps fixed on poles served to

brilliantly light the scene.

lecturer drove

circus-car,

Preceded by a band, the Sequah

Taking a

to the car in a two-horse landau.

from

seat in the front of the car, he proceeded to produce letters

and open and silently peruse them, apparently jotting


down their contents. Meanwhile he would now and then be

his pocket,

interrupted by messengers bringing bouquets of flowers,

and more

letters.

elaborate

dumb

show, he would

and broad-brimmed sombrero


'greasy,

wavy

rise

hat,

and remove

letters of

After a

his overcoat

showing a mass

hair, a string of boars' tusks

round

garments of the cowboy style with which Buffalo

made us

fruit,

After about ten minutes or more of this

of black,

his neck,

and

Bill's followers

Then he would read aloud a number of


thanks for cures effected, or asking for more medicine.
familiar.

little

talk about the extent to which the

were spreading, he

fitted

on

Sequah remedies

his forehead a small electric lamp,

the portable battery of which was carried in his pocket.

Those

persons

into the

car.

who desired to have teeth removed were invited


I saw between thirty and forty men, women and

children

step up, one at a time, and, with the aid of the electric lamp,
their teeth

were taken out, some having as many as three or

four extracted.

The operation was rapidly performed, but an

ominous snap now and then told to the

had been broken

off.

When

initiated that a tooth

the cries of the sufferer

who was

being operated on were loud aud expressive, the brass band


stationed at the rear portion of the car struck
to

drown the sound, and the only

air that

up

lustily, so as

they played during

the whole time was singularly selected, being the negro melody,

Who's dat calling so sweet ? " Then came more boasting and
more letter reading. After this, people in the crowd who had
been cured of rheumatism were requested to come into the car.
**

44
Some

four persons accepted this invitation, bent their arms up

and down, which they

said they

had not been able

do previous

to

to treatment, or jumped about before the spectators.

Then

followed the sale of Sequah preparations at two shillings a

small bottle, and the stuff went off at a lively rate.


ally people

Occasion-

having rheumatic limbs were rubbed in the car by

the lecturer or his attendant for half-an-hour or more, and

sometimes said they

had ascended the


crutches, then

to

'

When

felt better.

the

car,

massaged

'

their limbs,

One unfortunate

walk away.

to the edge of the field

the rheumatic cripples

broke

generally

lecturer

and

finally

their

bade them

fellow hobbled from the car

but, crutchless as he was, he could get

no further, despite the vigorous and long rubbing he had been


subjected to."

It

the
'^

is

now

well understood that any benefit wbicli

may

sufferers

receive

massage/' or careful rubbing

are selected.

There

due

entirely

is

to

the

also that the cases

no inherent curative virtue in

is

the Sequah Oil, as shown by the circumstance that,


in the majority of cases of alleged cure, the relief

permanent, while home

Even

trials

commonly

the so-called cures are not

is

not

fail altogether.

all so

genuine as

they are made to appear, as the following anecdote

will prove.

lady residing at Surbiton Hill had a

gardener, who, though somewhat

wont

of gardeners

stiff

the

their

employment, could do a good

When

on-Thames,

this lady

day^'s

work every

a Sequah lecturer was at Kingston-

much about him that


drive down and hear him

heard so

made up her mind to


hold forth.
As she sat in her

she

his joints,

through the nature of

after

week-day.

in

carriage outside the

45
concourse of people, what was her astonishment, on
a

labour

by four

gardener

and

men),

into

at

the

car

recognising

in

him her

steps.
said,

''

Next day she taxed him with all


Surely, gardener you could have got

into the car without giving all that trouble ?

which he
orders
it

is

much

(with

After a while she saw him run nimblj

down the
this,

hoisted

patient

seeing

replied,

"

From

'^

Oh,

yes.

Mum,

''

To

but them's the

other reports which have reached us,

evident that whatever doubt there

may

be as to

the diseases which the Sequah remedies can relieve, there


is

room

for

none as

to the definite nature of the orders

issued to exhibition-patients

The

tooth- drawing,

by the Sequah

which helps greatly

drawing a crowd, while the rapidity


presses the spectators,

lecturers.

is

of

it

rather mixed in

in

also

visibly imits

results.

Who's dat calling so sweet ? " may serve effectually


to drown the cries of a sufferer who gets a broken
tooth for his pains, but it does not do away with the
significant fact that, as we have heard dentists assert,
there is always a greater demand for stump-removal
''

after the

was prior

Sequah lecturer has


to

his

visit.

left a

town than there

Sound teeth must not un-

frequently be forfeited, too, in the hurry of extraction.

dental surgeon, practising at the

that,

being at Wimbledon when

West End,
a

told us

Sequah lecturer

was performing, he had the curiosity

to get nearer,

and as a man who had just had a tooth extracted


passed from the platform to the crowd he asked the

46

man

to let

had put
one,''

him

look at the tooth, which the operator

into the patient's hand.

*'

Why,

it is

he exclaimed, whereupon such a hostile demon-

stration

was made towards him by some excited and

apparently more than ordinarily interested


supporters, that he found
self

a sound

it

Sequah

prudent to withdraw him-

from the crowd.

"^W^^^^'

Chapter VI.
Holloway's

and

Pills

" Prairie

Flower

^'
;

Ointment

Sequah's

Letter concerning

Clarke's Blood Mixture.

Some

more years ago a man named Albinolo,

fifty or

one of the greatest of modern French quacks (proud


pre-eminence

issued large

!)

numbers

of curious little

green -covered pamphlets in which he most energetically

Thomas

attacked

one

accused

him

(Albinolo' s)

HoUoway,

fradulently

of

London,

and

appropriating

his

of

According to

invention.

this

amusing

specimen of quarrels among quacks, Albinolo,


with a notion of creating a fresh

England,
requisite

entrusted

means

field for

plunder in

HoUoway with

Thomas

fired

the

for bringing out Albinolo's prepara-

tions in this country.

This

Thomas

promptly

and

exceeded

HoUoway
thoroughly,

instructions,

for

seems
but

he

to

he

little

Frenchman's

done

considerably

conceived

expected idea of working them in his


thus aroused the

have

the

un-

own name, and


ire

to

such an

extent that the green cover of Albinolo's pamphlet

must have been almost matched by the altered hue

48
of his complexion.

^'

Pity such troubles e'er should

come, 'Twixt Tweedledee and Tweedledum

no part of our province

is

to

''

but

it

sympathise with Albinolo,

or to side with the (according to Albinolo's assevera-

Thomas.

tions) unfaithful

Thomas was

Yet, although

wholly

one respect

in

character

of

partake

not

achieved

tradesman, and he doubtless

come

change

for a

unbelieving

the

absolute
felt

of vocation

notwithstanding,

attacks

of

Thomas

namesake.

scriptural

his

HoUoway had

unfaithful, he did not

he

success

as

that the time had


so

Albinolo's

that,

straightway

laid

in

large stock of drugs, boxes, and gallipots, and ordered


large

number

newspaper advertisements.

of

He

believed to an enormous extent in the gullibility of

the British public, whatever private views he might

have entertained as

to the universally curative char-

acter of his wares

and, moreover, he dubbed himself

^^

Professor" Holloway, jumping at once from his

previous modest position behind the counter of his

shop in the Strand, near old Temple Bar, to high


scientific rank.

His example was contagious, and professors sprang

up

in all branches of business

time at " Bart.'s "

it

so that, in our student

was quite possible

a few hours to have one's hair cut


one's

measurement

professor,

one's

food

for

clothes

prepared

in the course of

by a

taken

under

by
the

professor,

another
superin-

tendence of a third professor, and one's knowledge of

49
noble art of self-defence

''

the

'^

improved by

many

so

punches on the nose, administered for a more or

less

reasonable fee, hj a hulking, beetle-browed professor

In

of pugilism.

common

England then

in

titles are in

became almost

professors

fact,

as

men

as

bearing military

the United States at the present day.

We have no

means

HoUoway added

of ascertaining

his

to

whether Thomas

assumed accomplishment

of

Curer- General an acquaintance with the writings of


the

English poets

sciously,

though,

consciously

or

uncon-

he moulded his course in accordance with

the following lines from Samuel Butler's Hudibras


To quack

'
'

And mighty

We

commend

fessorial

''

Family

heaps of coin increase."

this quotation to the present

''

pro-

HoUoway' s New Oxford Street


more apt and more truthful in

as

import than the quotations which


their

at

staff

establishment,

of universal cures

Friend,

presented

the compiler of

to

customers,

has

reproduced from Shakespeare and other authors, with

more ingeniousness than ingenuousness,

for the pur-

pose of puffing HoUowaj^'s Pills and Ointment.

As

the Famihj Friend gives a

amidst

other

searched

its

the late

*'

miscellaneous

number

matter,

of anecdotes

we

naturally

pages for some bearing upon the

professor,"

but

we were doomed

life of

to

dis-

Advice,"

the

appointment.

Under the heading


pills

of

" Seasonable

and ointment are pertinaciously

recommended

50
for all ages, all climates, all diseases, all seasons,

We

in all quantities.

bearing the quaint


device on the

1,

name

*^

I govern all "

2, 3,

a robed bishop, a general, and a judge, respec-

the law for

all

all,

fighting for

while the

pay

things

for all."

and administering

who

somewhat

says significantly,.

similar condition of

quack medicines,

regards

for

the

consumers of these nostrums pay for

all,

exist

credulous

all,

fifth figure is that of a man,,

typical of the British tax -payer,


I

The

Five Alls."

sign-board swinging in front of the

tively praying for

'^

a visit to

divided into five compartments, representing

is

4,

'^

oi the

the Queen, with the motto,

and

when on

noticing a roadside inn at Marlborough

Wiltshire,

house

recollect,

and

as

whether

it

be the huge establishments in which the

business

is

carried on, the

many

spent in advertising, or the

which the

thousands of pounds

mighty heaps

of coin

"

j)roprietors amass.

Well, although

any anecdotes
tion to

^^

we were

of the late

which we have

disajDpointed at not finding


'^

professor " in the publica-

referred,

we need not on

that

account leave our readers wholly in a like predicament,

but will give two excellent stories which have come to


our knowledge.

When

Charles Dickens was in the height of his

splendid career as a novelist. Hollo way sent

him

cheque for 1,000, with an intimation that he might


consider
early

it

as his property if

number

he would insert in an

of one of his works, then

coming out

in

51
a serial form, some reference to the

Dickens, to his honour be

medicines.

and

promptitude

equal

proffered

HoUoway

of

with

said,

it

returned

indignation,

Upon hearing

bribe.

patent

the

incident,

this

Thackeray remarked, with the quiet sarcasm of which


he was master, that

if

he had been in Dickens' place

he should have killed the villain of the novel with an


overdose of HoUoway's Pills, and thus have secured
the 1,000.

On

another occasion,

Exhibition,

there

1851,

men

representative

in

the year of

was

Gore

at

large

House,

the

Great

meeting

of

Kensington.

Holloway had gained admission with the throng, and

made

use

of

happened
minent

to

know,

Sala,

novelist,

he

obtain introductions to pro-

He was

particularly

probably for reasons not


to avoid this.

Mr. Sala took the

at last,

whom

desirous

brought under the notice of Thackeray, and

was equally anxious

tion,

to

personages.

of being

Mr.

Mr. George Augustus Sala,

and managed

despite

**

difl&cult

However, yielding

Professor " up to the great

to say a

few words of introduc-

crowd around them.

the

to seek,

Thackeray

appeared to understand the name imperfectly, and


complimented the *' Professor " in the same strain as

he would have done in the case of a distinguished


Holloway, confused, had to explain

military

officer.

that he

was not a General, but merely

Holloway.

''

Oh

well,"

'*

Professor

observed Thackeray,

''

'*

52

made

a very natural mistake, for you, too, must have

killed thousands of people/'

As

HoUoway's

to the composition of

Mons.

pills,

Dorvault, an eminent French chemist, reported

be as follows in 144

it

For convenience we give

pills.

the amounts in English instead of French weights


Aloes

Sulphate of Soda

Pepper

Aloes, which

substance

possessing

that

unworthy

may be
pepper may

they

comment, and the


as

Dorvault, in 159 parts

is,

Lard

Eesin

passed

Turpentine
Spermaceti

,,

like rhubarb,
;

saffron

over without

Mons.

62J parts.
50

25
12^
3

no ingredient here, any more than in the

which

attributed

contains, according to

Wax
Yellow Wax

to

,,

be similarly dismissed

White

pills

infinite simally small

Olive Oil

is

,,

of consideration.

HoUoway's ointment

There

aperient properties

and sulphate of soda are in such


quantities

27

the Sequah quacks falsely describe

under the name of " Prairie Flower,"


a

62 grains.

Ehubarb
Saffron

to

special

remedial

properties

can

be

yet HoUoway's advertisements claim for

53
bott preparations maryellous curative characters, and

most unblushing and untruthful manner

assert in the

that cholera, typhoid fever, diphtheria, asthma, pleurisj",


influenza, dysentery, gout, rheumatism, all skin afiec-

subject
in

tions

the

short,

every

will vanish

and

pills

ill

one

Allah
is

is

inunction of

the

great

foolish

"

which human

of

the ointment, like

rising sun.

HoUotcay

enough

to believe

greater

that

is, if

what Hollo way

says.

is

Instead of the few grains of pepper in the


should, bearing in

flesh is

away upon the administration

morning mists before the


'*

to

mind the

old proverb, require

grains of salt before accepting the

we
many

pills,

Professor's

pro-

fessions of perfection.

While on

the question of analysis,

we may mention

that a correspondent informs us that lately a Sequah


lecturer in a country
to

tell

gaping audience

his

defied the

town had the brazen impudence

most

sition of the

^'

skilful analyst to find out the

for

who

Mr. A.

W.

Stokes,

Paddington

and

other

districts,

compo-

Prairie Flower " Mixture, and offered to

give 1,000 to anyone


tained.

Sequah, Limited,

that

could state what

it

con-

F.C.S., Public Analyst

important

metropolitan

has made for us a very complete analysis

but we have not learned that Sequah, Limited, have

forwarded a cheque for <1,000


Possibly

they

considering

are

repeating the offer

in

to

the

which case

it

that gentleman.
desirability
is

to

of

be hoped

they will also deposit the money with some person in

54

whom more

reliance can be placed than in the wild

and wholly untrue assertions


turers,

of the

Company^s

lec-

whether as regards the analysis of the Sequah

nostrums, or their boasted remedial properties.

With

reference

our articles on

to

Mixture (Chapters

and

II.

we have

III.),

Blood

Clarke's

received the

following letter from an old and esteemed contributor,

Dr. Bartlett, whose

name

is

known through

well

professional position as an analyst and the good

which he did in connection with the passing

his

work

of the

Adulteration of Food and Drugs Act, and also through


his subsequent exposure of adulterations.

In common with Dr.


of our readers,

we

look with a large degree of expect-

ancy and interest for the reply

him

to the question

to the proprietors of Clarke's

To

Dear

Sir,

and doubtless many

Bartlett,

Blood Mixture.

the Editor,

After some years' absence from the busy centre of

current sanitary and scientific literature in London, I


fied to find a fresh

by

its

grati-

exposures of quackery.

am

particularly interested in the raid


articles,

and

an old Commissioner of Public Health

abuses

am

impulse infused into your useful periodical

medicines and other proprietary


of

put by

still

made upon patent


it

rouses the blood

to find these flagrant

pursuing the profitable tenor of their ways, undis-

turbed by exposure and almost unchallenged, except in your

columns.

am

not sure that I

am

in accord with all the

views you have expressed on this subject.


certain that I would,

if

I could,

am

not even

wipe out of existence every

55
patent medicine, and certainly I should wish to use the greatest
discrimination in ''sifting out the Yv^heat from the chaif" in

dealing with what are termed "proprietary articles."


I

would draw the

line at those patent medicines

which

are,

from the nature of their composition, likely to be injurious to


thote which must be detrimental from the dosage
health
;

proposed and recommended by the proprietors

those which

pretend to cure certain diseases, and which are demonstrably


unsuitable or inert for the purposes for which they are sold

and, lastly,

those concerning which any false pretence

all

is

advertised or published, or whose proprietors are unable to

authenticate every statenient advertised or published

Touching on your recent

have had almost thrust

articles,

upon me a most extraordinary advertisement


Family

Family

fifteen repetitions of the

Doctor'' s

then comes a quotation, as I take


jDublication,

bearing,

ironically,

it,

advice (in capitals)

suppose,

agent

curative

estimated,

since

impurities,

and

it

cleanses

restores

it

v/hich

and

clears

up

blood purifier that science and

to the present time,

and we

utmost confidence recommend

(the
it

of the

title

family

"Clarke's Blood

the blood from

normal condition.

to its

>

cannot be too highly

medicine of the greatest possible value.


finest

the

res]:>ectable

first

from some very peculiar

Family Doctor. I say ironically, because no


doctor would dream of giving such advice as
is

from the

There are no marks of quotation to the

Doctor.

Mixture

in to-day's Daily

It apparently emanates, in the first place,

Chronicle,

by them.

skill

It

is

It

all
is

certainly the

have brought to light

Family Doctor) can with the

to our subscribers

and the

public generally."

This

many

is

strong and unctuous enough, and no doubt catches

unsophistica.t(;d sufferers

scrofula, scurvy

descriptions, as

if

and bad

from pimples, eruptions,

sores,

and blood diseases

of all

legs, skin

with "bird-lime."

But having swallowed

tlu^

56
Family Doctor wi^ extreme nausea I come
Mr. Dick Swiveller observed.
a certificate signed

by

my

to a " staggerer," as

It appears to be a quotation

from

old friend Dr. Alfred Swaine Taylor,

stating that " Clarke's Blood Mixture

is

entirely free

from any

poison or metallic impregnation, does not contain any injurious


ingredient,
I

and

is

a good, safe, and useful medicine."

now simply ask the

proprietors of Clarke's Blood Mixture to

authenticate that quotation with the rest of the text,

if

any,

under Dr. Swaine Taylor's actual signature, giving also the date.
I have very particular reasons for pressing this inquiry,
if

the authenticity of the quotation

will lay these reasons,

is

and

not sufficiently proved, I

with other information, before your

readers in a future communication.

show how such quotations

It will be interesting to

are obtained

and used.

I am, faithfully yours,

H.

C.

Bartlett,

Chapter VII.
Saved

from

Waste Paper Basket

the

Correspondence

Holloway

concerning

and

Mattel

I.

Concerning Holloway.
To

Sir,

am

Dublin.

the Editor.

out of patience with such

abominable

articles as

you have inserted in your paper about what you are pleased to
call

quack medicines.

Professor

Do you

not

know

Holloway was a gentleman

and that he founded several


importance

You may

that the late esteemed

of the highest character,

institutions of almost

not hn<w

all this

national

but I do, and I

am

who has
And
enjoyed the benefits of the Holloway College at Egham.
don't you know that one who bears the honoured name of

proud to say that I have a near and dear

relative

Holloway has been knighted by Her Majesty ?


Yours indignantly,

Lady.

* *
*
II.

Another

Concerning Mattel

correspondent has

lengthy epistles from Pisa.

and

illogical

attacks on

the

sent

us

two fearfully

Judging from
medical

his violent

profession,

judgment must be as much out of the straight


the famous Leaning Tower which forms one

his

line as

of the

58

The oddest

sights of that Italian city.

about his letters


*'

is

thing, perhaps,

that he has adopted the signature

Common Sense/'

He might

as well, while about

have unconsciously imitated the signature of the


" Professor's " lady chamj)ion and signed himself " A

it,

Gentleman."
These

communications

tion in full,

are

long for publica-

too

and we must therefore content ourselves

One lump

with extracts.

of the

mud thrown is

so

much

sample or two will serve as well as

like another that a

exhibiting the whole heap

''Without wishing to appear abusive, I must say such an


article as that

common

honesty,
'*

1.

on Mattei's Kemedies,

Honesty.

and capacity

sense,

a reflection on your

as editor of a paper.

honesty to denounce as sheer

Is it

system of which you know nothing


Stokes's analysis of the
remedies^

is

'

You

Electricities,'

do harm, and people

pin your faith to Mr.

but you donH even try

What good

and you condemn them beforehand.

your assertions without proofs

humbug

the

are

Prove that they do no good or

will listen to

you;

otherwise they will

think you belong to the great conspiracy to silence any new-

remedy not brought out by the


I

know

a doctor

who

doctors.

Let

me

add, too, that

analysed the 'Electricities,' and fancied

they were prepared from fungi, to which idea the smell and the

growths that devolop in them might give colour.


"2.

Your common

sense.

dixit will stop people trying

Do you
Mattel

believe your little ipse

What an

have of the mental capacities of your readers

you can keep them


liim a humbug.

off the

idea

if

you must

you imagine

forbidden Mattel territory by calling

59
**

Your commercial capacity as

3.

Your
you have adopted would

of a paper.*

editor

the

journal looks a useful kind of publication, but the line

from taking

Do you

*
'

is

abusive

it

in."

not

feel that

Not only

quite discourage myself and others


#

your

know

imputing fraud to Mattei,

article,

abusive, I should say, but libellous


I hope

abuse naturally generates abuse.


restrained

by gentlemanly

but it

feeling,

my

and

abuse has been


for those

is difficult

who

to wiite in cold blood to people like yourself,

who

hnoiving

simply nothing, and not even taking the trouble to test a single

remedy,

sit

down

in

an

cathedra judgment, that

editor's chair

wonder you cannot


can never go

ples

common

humbug and

it is all

see that a

down with

people

We

sense or reflection.

last

thing that occurs to you."

who have

a grain of

his fraud

but that

is

if

the

dare say you have never compared your position

with that taken up by the Pope.


-again,

should be thankful to you

would unmask Mattei by proving

a fraud

ex

paper conducted on such princi-

3'ou

"P.S.

and pronounce an

and work miracles

pronounce them humbug,

Were the Saviour

of healing in
if

your

sight,

come
you would
to

not fraud."

In accordance with the French

rule,

''Place aux

cation.

we will deal first with '^A Lady's'' communiWhile admitting that her relative may have

profited

from the posthumous

dames,^^

late

Thomas Holloway, we

benefits provided

by the

are not prepared to admit

that the knighthood conferred on the present head of


*

'

'Comniercial

inercial f;ai>ac;ity

allow

that

(capacity "

Wo

did not

Mattei

know

before that com-

we

(Mlitorial essential.
At the same time
must
eould ^ive most peoi)l(^ j^oints in commercial

was an

capacity, if by that term is implied the


water at the rat(j of about 5s. an ounce.

impudence requisite for

selling

60
the firm of
ancient

pill

makers has added


that

order,

science, or that

it

has elevated quackery into a

it

has in any degree altered the fact

Thomas HoUoway

that

to the lustre of that

''

made

by

pile "

his

the

pertinacious and persistent pufifery and exaggeration


of the remedial value of his wares.

The

^^

almost national'' importance of the institutions

founded with part of the money thus amassed


tion

which we

will not stop to discuss,

ing that there was one institution

HoUoway
perhaps,

established,

not

the

is

a ques-

beyond remarkwhich

Thomas

appropriate,

least

intended as a delicate compliment to the

if

who believe that his pills and ointment will


every human malady, viz., an asylum for lunatics.

people

cure

our feminine correspondent has advanced


no sounder argument in the *^ Professor's " favour than

After

all,

that used

by Lucetta

of Verona

in Shakespeare's Tico Gentlemen

" I have no other

but a woman's reason

him so, because I think him so."


Without ''wishing to appear abusive," the Matteist

I think

advocate has succeeded beyond his desires or expectations

what

appear

would he

abusive

and

we wonder,

if

he tried to

we complacently

accept his

say,

attack as a pretty good proof that the shafts aimed at


Mattel's

imposition
It

followers.

looks upon

have

hit,

at

least,

would seem that our

common

one of his

correspondent

sense as a rare quality, limited to

while he advances the

himself

and other Matteists

illogical

argument that the circumstance

of a

man

61

haying devoted special study


of

knowledge wholly

How

we never claimed

this assumption

as

his

(!) is

knowing nothing

for our

other

by

we got over the

Common

than the artfully simple, or simply


of Mattel with the Saviour

^^

he

though

(we leave such prepos-

infallibility
'^

to

too,

selves with the Pope,

terous claims to people of

As

cleverly,

Scarcely have

humble

contrast of our

him from coming

disqualifies

any right opinion thereon.


works in his similes

any particular branch

to

Common

insinuations, for

Sense's'^ stamp),

comparison

artful,

adroitly introduced.
of Mattel's remedies,

Sense
it

''

as incorrect

is

happens that some

years ago our attention was directed to these prepiarations

by General Booth's asking our opinion concern-

ing them, in the course of a conversation about Mrs.


Booth's illness with cancer.

It

Mr. Stead has confirmed in


in

the Revieio of Revieics

great

in the

faith

ourselves

of

unsatisfactory

that

opportunities

rigid analysis,

just as they

The

tests.

we were not

Mr. Stokes, after submitting the

''

as

to

availed

put the

results

were

surprised

when

Electricities "
to

to

him,

were purchased from the London agents,


Water,

*'

honest water," as

Shakespeare wrote, to what base uses


!

we

announced that the samples sent

consisted only of water.

brought

the General had no

^'Electricities"; but

subsequent

to us

on Mattel

his panegyric

that

Mattel remedies to practical


so

was evident

may you

And, because we say that

Stokes' analysis

is

not be

so long as

Mr.

not disproved, and that so long as

62
Mattel and his followers content themselves with vague

him
Common Sense avers that we
He had better
but libellous.

we

assertions

shall regard
^'

^*

humbug,

gross

are not only abusive,

reserve these charges

Mattei has proved that the analysis we published

till

is

as a

false,

and has shown what his ^^Electricities" do

contain besides water.

There
along

a story told of a gentleman who, passing

is

of

street

was so

manufacturing town,

astonished at the spectacle of a


ously punching a big

navvy"

^^

woman

little

vigor-

in the back, at the

same time using most angry language, without any


attempt at resistance or remonstrance on the part of
the recipient of the blows, that he could not refrain

from speaking

the

to

moving

his pipe

good-humoured

and
and

please

stamp
while

'*

Common

and

down

with

it

and others

vilify the

pleases
it

may

of

the same

medical

jp^ofession,

not hurt nor disturb the

latter.

which

nostrums will cure every


sality is

diminu-

In like manner

have already referred in these

promptitude

at his

It's all right, sir

Sense "

certainly need

equanimity of the

We

glancing
*^

don't hurt me."

to pitch into
it

face,

irascible spouse,
it

re-

from his mouth, observed, with a

broad smile on his

her,

The

turned round towards the gentleman, and,

giant

tive

man.

quacks
ill

their great aim, as

articles

assert

that

under the sun.

to the

their

Univer-

embodied in the advice

given by an American patent medicine manufacturer

63

who was about


Recommend the

a relative

to

business

^'

embark

to

in a similar

internally,

stiiff

exter-

and eternally."

nally,

HoUoway's

the extent to which

of

tration

and Ointment

Pills

The ^^boon and

carried.

which one
of

consists

sees

aloes

afford a

good

advice

this

illus-

can be

blessing to every family,"

advertised

at

railway

all

and rhubarb, with some

stations,
still

less

important constituents, to be administered internally

and an ointment composed of


and

tine,

be used externally

and persistent advertising of

stant

may
laid

resin, to

lard, oil,

wax, turpen-

whilst the con-

nostrums

these

be regarded as carrjdng out the-third condition

down by the

successful

Yankee quack.

Anyone

acquainted with even the most elementary rudiments


of

pharmacy and medicine must,

there

nothing of a

is

character
rated

j^et

among

specific

far

of course,
less of a

the ingredients

see that

marvellous

we have enume-

Holloway's advertisements assert that these

two quack preparations will promptly and certainly


cure every disease, from asthma right

down through

the alphabet.

We

wonder whether the Bishops and other bigwigs

who manage
to

in

**A

thought

to

the affairs of Holloway College, referred

Lady's"
the

letter,

ever

questionable

give five minutes'

means and despicable

disregard for truth by which the

money was amassed

that enabled the founder of that institution to leave

behind a perpetual memorial of Holloway 's

Pills

and

64

Ointment and
cere
*^

of

human

perennms might in

A monument more

of

its

instance be translated,

this

lasting than the brazen assertions

when General Booth was

ago,

the special Salvation


tried to trip

scientiously

names

hiiyi

it to

somewhat equivocal moral


as to the source

unbelievers

list

whose

To

of subscribers.

the Devil himself

if

a donation he should not hesitate to

and apply

it

could con-

persons, referring to some

General replied that

should send

raising

fund, one of his opponents

had appeared in the

the

accept

Army

him up by asking whether he


accept money in aid from

and other unworthy

is

Mo)iu)nentum

founder."

Some time

this

gullibilitJ^

The

the purpose in view.


of this

is

whence the money

Blind your eyes

is

derived

and

it

apparently fully acted up to by the trustees of the

HoUoway
the mean

College,

misrepresentations and dishonourable

in which

the

HoUoway

College

factor,

instead

credulity.

and by the people who, ignoring

funds

of

as

w^ere

way

accumulated, regard the

memorial

permanent

of

a public bene-

proof

of

human

Chapter

VIII.

Allen's World's Hair Restorer

Renewer
FOR

Singleton's

the

Eyes

Gowland's

Lotion

articles

rations for internal

Golden

for

the

Skin

and

Anna

More about Mattel

we have

Ointment

Kayldor

Rowland's

Ruppert's Skin Tonic

In previous

Mexican Hair

dealt with

quack prepa-

In the present^

administration.

we will speak of others for external employment.


Even the most highly-vaunted and most widelyadvertised of these turn out to be of a very ordinary,
or

worse

still

dangerous

are submitted to

We

composition,

the close scrutiny

give the analyses of some of these


Allen's World's

1.

Hair

Restorer.

when

of the

they

analyst.

An

analysis

of

an eight-ounce bottle indicated 75


grains of sulphur and 87 grains of acetate of lead.

the

contents

of

Considering the low commercial value of these two


drugs,

the

most expensive, however,

the preparation, the price at which


to give a very
it

handsome return

were of corresponding value

and

foolishly

it is

to be

found in

sold cannot fail

to its proprietors.
to persons

If

who fondly

imagine that luxuriant crops of hair

66
will
its

adorn their smooth, shiny scalps as the results of

persistent application, the charge

made

for

it

would,

of course, be a different thing altogether.


2.

Mexican Hair Renewer.

The

apply also to this nostrum, which


as

over-advertised.

parts.

more

portion

of

rendered

inert.

overrated
of lead 1

The only ingredient capable

of

the glycerine, and that

is

Sing/eton's

than

five

parts

to

Ointment

Golden

Golden only in name, for

it

for

one as to be

the

Ei/es.

contains not the faintest

As

trace of the precious metal.


is

much

completely swamped with water in the pro-

so

3.

as

4 parts, glycerine 30 parts,

promoting capillary growth


is

is

It consists of acetate

part, precipitated sulphur

and water 160

foregoing remarks

a matter of fact,

it

practically identical with the nitric oxide of mer-

cury ointment of the old pharmacopoeia,


efficacious in cases of ophthalmia,

sometimes

but in the majority

of instances of eye diseases worse than useless.

unfortunately,

than

it

is

to

much

easier to

It

is,

tamper with the eyes

remedy the mischief resulting from

in-

discriminate and injudicious treatment.

4 and

5.

Roicland^n

for the S/dn,

Mr.

Kalydor and

Henry

pharmacy,

states in his

Lotion

Beasley, a good authority,

and a voluminous writer on


'^

Ooicland''s

all

matters connected with

Druggists' General Receipt

Book "

that either of these well-known cosmetics, so

dear to

the fashionable and vain amongst our lady

friends,

may

be imitated as follows

Bitter

almonds

67
corrosive sublimate 8 grains, rose

(blancliecl) 1 ounce,

water 16 ounces.
that,

permanently

any mercurial ingredient,

find

sublimate

corrosive

of

last (ninth) edition

he says

on more recently examining a sample of Kalydor,

he could not

6.

In the

been wisely

has

eliminated.

A)ina Rupperfs Skin Tonic.

Kalydor have arrived

But

tardily, it

at a consciousness of the

so that the

if

hope

us

let

the makers

must be admitted

dangerous character of so

powerful a drug as corrosive sublimate (bichloride of


mercury),

seems

that

vendor who

-cosmetic

respect

it

there

at

absolutely

is

Anna Ruppert.

a Mrs.

is

any rate one

reckless

self-styled the

of

much

this

'^

cele-

Now

brated American Complexion Specialist."


individual does not hesitate to put as

in

this

as a grain

corrosive sublimate to every ounce of a largely-

So Dr. B. H. Paul, the

advertised lotion for the skin.

well-known analyst, says in his report upon the composition of a specimen of this lotion submitted to

ior examination

and he adds the

him

significant observa--

tion that the specimen submitted to

him was 'Sveaker

than other samples previously examined," so that the


manufacture must be conducted in such a
liaphazard
ful poison

way

that the actual quantity of this power-

would appear

leading

medical

Journal, gave, some


case of

careless,

to be left to chance.

paper,

little

the

British

Jler/ical

time back, the details of a

acute infiammation of the jaw from mercurial

poisoning, reported by

J)y.

W.

H. C. Staveley, F.R.C.S.,

68
L.R.C.P., Lond., and Mr. R. Denison Pedley, L.D.S

The

F,R.C.S., Edin.

over thirty years of age, was

who recommended her

jaw

boils,

removed

forming

abscesses

dentist

on

loosened (several having to be

all

consequence of

in

her

and severe pains in the upper and lower

the teeth were

consult

She was suffering from great

account of her teeth.


weakness,

first

to

widow lady, rather


seen by Dr. Staveley,,

patient,

their

at

structure of the jaws

condition

this

base),

and

and

of

bony

the

was much inflamed and thick-

After the lady had been under treatment for

ened.

some time, her


patient

had

sister

for three

informed Dr. Staveley that the

months previous been using

lotion for her complexion,

commenced

and that the symptoms had

shortly after she began to use

it,

becoming

gradually intensified until she was compelled to seek

medical advice.

The

Anna Ruppert's

special

proportion

of

lotion

corrosive

turned out to be Mrs.

Skin Tonic, and the large

found

sublimate

in

it

by

Dr. Paul, F.C.S., clearly demonstrated the cause of


the mercurial poisoning, the severe, continuous pain,
the injury to the teeth, and

all

the other alarming

symptoms.

We

make

statement
:

Iluppert, in

good
at

my

own
Mrs. Anna

the following extract from the lady's


^^

In October, 1892, I went

Regent

Street,

my

to

complexion not being

otherwise I was in good health.


face with a

magnifying

glass,

preparation woukl remove spots.

and

She looked
said that her

She recommended

69

me

her special treatment.

to try

me by

sent

Next morning, she

parcel post three bottles of lotion, three

akes of soap, one pot of ointment, and one box of

lasted about five minutes.

The interview
About a month after I had

been to her I began to be

sleepless, lost

powder, for which I paid two guineas.

my

and

my

hands became

deals

appetite,

tremulous that several of

The remainder of her statewith the various symptoms which have

friends noticed

ment

so

my

it.'^

Had

already been detailed.


sulted a medical

she not, fortunately, con-

man when

she

did,

there

doubt that, by continuing the use of this

is

little

lotion, the

lady might have died of mercurial poisoning.

As

it is

she has suffered months of agony and misery, and her


health

is

impaired.

The poor victim has certainly had a great deal to


show for the two guineas which she foolishly handed
over to

Anna Ruppert

pamphlet which one


entitled
of'

'^

The Book

the usual

for

'^

special treatment."

of our lady readers has sent us,


of

Beauty," by

Anna Ruppert,

catchpenny style of such publications,

states that ^'the skin tonic is not in the least to


feared,^'

from which one would be led

be

to infer that the

laws of nature are suspended when the '^ special treatment " is adopted, and that in Anna Ruppert's hands
the most powerful mineral poisons are miraculously

rendered absolutely innocuous.


as readily believe this as
it

''

is

we

Still,

we would

almost

w^ould the assertion that

endorsed by the best living physicians."

If

70

Anna Ruppert had

much

not occupied so

pamphlet with the most glowing praises of

of

her

herself, she

might have found room for the names of these " best
liA^ng
wonderfully ignorant and credulous indivi''

whoever they may

duals,

outside

her

ties

Skin

presuming that they

Among

pamphlet.

which she does give


"

be,

information

a price-list of her '^speciali-

is

single

tonic,

other

exist

bottles,

together, 25s., usually required.

10s.

What

6d.

three

A less

for ?

quantity would produce mercurial poisoning, according


to

the

unfortunate widow's

Cures and Liver Regulator,

We

Dyspepsia

experience.

4s. 6d.,

and

so on.

have stated that Mrs. Anna Ruppert can be

" consulted "

at

Regent

Street,

London, but in an

advertisement taken from a ladies' journal, no

less

than

fourteen other addresses are given at Brighton, Edin-

burgh, Dublin, Manchester, and other large British


towns, as well as at Paris, Berlin, Vienna, Calcutta,

Sydney, &c.

Sir Boyle Roche's bird, which, according

to the eccentric baronet,


it

was

so swift in its flight that

could be in two places at -the

into insignificance
specialist

compared with

as

who can be

same time, sinks

'^

complexion

consulted" at no fewer than

fifteen different places.

Perhaps some of these addresses have slipped in in


error.
is

Our reason

included.

It

is

for this suggestion

is

that Berlin

scarcely probable that Mrs.

Ruppert would regard

this city as a

Anna

happy hunting

ground, seeing that some time back she visited Berlin,

71

and advertised her

''

specialities."

authorities there have a quick

method

The

municipal

of dealing with

such cases, and the President of Police for Berlin cut

Mrs Anna Ruppert's

short

by the
is

stay in the

issue of a public caution, of

a literal translation

German

capital

which the following

Public Notice.

As a cure for the most varied skin diseases, a Mrs. Anna


Euppert recommends her Skin Tonic in the daily newspapers.
This secret remedy consists of a solution of corrosive subHmate
in water, with the addition of

perfumed.
the

sum of

contents

It

is

some glycerine, and

it is

slightly

sold in bottles containing about five ounces for

eleven shillings, while the real value of the bottle's

is less

than three farthings.

This announcement

is

hereby given in order to warn the public.

The President of

Police,
Berlin.

Three farthings w^orth of

There

Ruppert,

who

" profession

give

''

room

little

is

''

thoroughly, promises

grand return for

Oh, Dear

Central

wonder that Mrs.

for

assures her readers that she

advice to

We have

stuff for eleven shillings

all

comers,

so trivial

What

knows her

" cheerfully

she can get such a

can the Mattei be

received the following registered letter.

Count Mattei' s Eemedies.


Depot for the United Kingdom and
To

My

Anna

an outlay.

London, July
Sir,

when

to

Colonies,

5th, 1893.

the Editor,

attention has just been called to the fact that in

72
your issue of

May

13th you reprinted one of the articles in

which you attack Count Mattei.


I have

now

to inform

you that the

Electricities

analysed by two other analysts, and that

if,

have been

in the face of their

you continue publishing your attacks upon what have


been proved by competent medical authorities to be genuine
analyses,

remedial agents of a very valuable character, I shall have to

hold you responsible.

monthly

I enclose herewith a copy of our

publication for May loth, in which you will find an article dealing

with the question of the analyses, to which I beg you to give


careful consideration; also one for

November

Yours

loth, 1892.

faithfully,

A. Gliddon, Manager.

refresliingly cool letter, certainly, with tbermo-

meters bursting around us in their futile


record the high temperature that will
of 1893

remembered many years

make

eftbrts

the

to

summer

after the Matteist

craze has followed the example of the thermometers

but

if

the Matteist manager imagines that

be muzzled so easily, he
delusion as

many

is

we

are to

labouring under as great a

of his customers

some

of

whom

talk such utter nonsense as that the Electricities will

cure broken limbs, and restore sight to the blind, not


to

mention other alleged miracles.

We

have

to express

our thanks to Mr. Gliddon for

one act of thoughtfulness on his part, namely, sending


only one of the two promised numbers of Modern
Medicine,

which would be more appropriately

Modern Magic.

entitled

If ever anything should be taken in

homoepathic quantities,

it

should be Matteist

litera-

73
ture,

which might be described in the Matteist jargon

as JEmetico,
It appears

May

from Modern Medicine for

15th that

the analysts referred to in Mr. Gliddon's letter are

M.

and an English chemist, Mr.

of Bologna,

Casali,

M.

Butterfield.

examined the

Casali reports that he has carefully

Electricities,

great variety of chemical

he had come

**

tests.

As

to a

a result of these,

to the conclusion that the liquids

haracteristic odour

by

and submitted them

had a

which was rendered more marked

This odour or aroma seemed to him to bear

heat.

a slight resemblance to that of olibanum, especially to

that of drops of translucid Indian incense.

himself justified in asserting

(1) that

(2)

have the characteristics of pharmaceutical


of waters

charged or saturated by

felt

the Electricities

are not simply distilled and pure water

i,e,,

He

that they
solutions,

distillation

with

the volatile medicinal principles of flowers, leaves, and


plants.''

As

for

Mr. Butterfield, Modern Medicine says

^'His conclusions agree with those of Professor Casali,


so far at least as the presence of an aromatic essence
in the Electricities

is

concerned.

Like the Italian

professor, the English analyst has been unable to ascer-

tain the exact nature of this essence.

quite confident that

it

is

He

is,

however,

a mistake to assert that the

Electricities are ordinary water."

Two more
reports

bald, jejune,

we never

saw,

and unsatisfactory analytical


and

two

himdred

or

two

74
thousand such inanities could not be regarded by and;
sensible

person

affording

as

any disproof

by the independent examination made

to the letter

June by professor Michaud, chief

ment

Laboratory

analysts
colour,

if it

Mattei's

Govern-

of the

and

Geneva,

both

had no
chemical

the

that

identical with that of water.

had occurred

to either of

them

these

of

Electricities

and

odour,

or

flavour,
is

at

that

assert

composition

Mr.

Mr. Stokes' report was confirmed

Stokes' analysis.

last

of

Perhaps,
say a

to have,

peppermint lozenge in his mouth when smelling the


fluids,

might have been an aroma

there

lucid Indian essence."

Mr. Butterfield

one point only,

viz.,

that the

ordinary water.

In a

sense,

as of

is

'^

trans-

confident

on

are not

Electricities

very different, however,

we agree with him. Ordinary water can be


obtained of any water company at less than Is. per

to his,

1,000 gallons
5s.

the Electricities are sold at the rate of

an ounce.

Grievously disappointed with the Matteist analysts,

we turned

over the pages of the Matteist monthly

periodical in the vain hope of discovering the

names

some of the competent medical authorities

whom

We

found

of

Mr. Gliddon holds

in

terror em

over us.

cases of remarkable cures effected

by Madame Schmid,

Dr. E. P. (Topeka, Kansas, U.S.A.), Dr. C. (another

American, too modest to give his


Stocker (of Mingolsheim),
land),

who

M.

full

name). Pastor

(Dunedin,

talks of seeing patients in his

New
^^

Zea-

shop "

75

Margaret Wilson, M. H.

M. de Rozehuba,
Calcutta),

who

rejoicing in the

excusable here.

(senior curate of

and Baboo

X.,

C.)^

De

Radhica

(of

reported to have cured an individual

is

name

The use

suran.

W.

of

of

It

Nibin Chundergaugoolychin-

initials

only would have been

almost needless to remark that

is

Nibin (we will not goad our unoffending compositors


to desperation

by repeating the cognomen)

sented to have been

''

repre-

cured like miracle " of inflam-

mation of the eyes by the use of Mattel's

any one

in less time than

is

of our

Electricities,

many thousands

of

readers could pronounce the name.


If these ten electro-homoepathic practitioners,

occupy considerably more

Modern

Medicine

two

than

half

women,

the

two

who

space

of

Americans

(vaguely designated *^Dr." and, with singular modesty^


contrasted with their assertions, indicated
only),

by

initials

two nondescripts (M. de Rozehuba and X.

certainly not Y. Z.*), one foreign pastor, one English


curate, one Nevv^ Zealand shopkeeper,

and one baboo

are to be regarded as fair samples of Mr.


*'

Gliddon's

competent medical authorities, '' they are even more

unsatisfactory
analysts

and unconvincing than his brace of

and that

is

saying a great deal.


*

Wise Head.

Chapter IX.

Quack

Advertisements

Mother

An

and

Seigel's

Testimonials

Syrup.

American quack, who was ostentatiously boasting

of his wealth in one of the chief hotels at Saratoga


Springs,
follows

'^

**

cines.'^

quack,

was addressed by an admiring auditor

''

persons

as

There must be a fortune in patent mediI

don't know," reflectively

It isn't all profit

would

tising" after

*'

probably

bottles cost money.''

have

added,

'^

Many

and adver-

But the quack knew better


item, for he might as well have

bottles."

than to mention this


included his

observed the

own mendacious

tongue.

reckon advertising in the estimate of

He

cost, for

could not
the plain

reason that the more he spent in puffing his wares the


greater would be the return in cash.

The amount

of

quack medicines

money
is

spent on advertisements of

astonishing.

Thousands, tens of

thousands, and hundreds of thousands of pounds are


unhesitatingly launched upon

this

expenditure,

the

advertisers feeling certain of a profitable return for


their

outlay,

and trading on the blind credulity of

people v/ho pin their faith on quack medicines, merely

77
because they have read some glowing advertisement

(more or

less false).

The Anglo-Saxon race used


most easily duped in this

regarded as the

to be

respect

the

readiest

swallowers alike of quack advertisements and quack

But the ^' heathen


Englishman and American close

Chinee "

medicines.

according to an article

in this respect

CornhiU

the

in

runs

the
and,,

Magazine,

Chinese papers contain even a larger proportion of

quack

advertisements

as

English

or

Moreover, the ingenuity of the

periodicals.

when he

than

turns

''

quackee,^' puts

American
'*

Chinee,'^

the barbarian devils,'^

'^

he would doubtless term his European or American

They

charlatan confreres, completely in the shade.

can only

puff,

while the Chinamen blow whole gales of

lying assertions.

Take
Pao,

for instance,

or

Shanghai

an announcement in the Shen


Gazette

Recipe for Lengthening Life."


the advertisement,

''

^^

down

has come

certain

journeying

woman
flying.
is,

official

in

the

is

hill

somewhat
country

to

us

saj^s

from a

certain oflBcial

uncertain)

when he

(The name of this wonderful

Chinese

of a

Fairy

was

saw

passing southwards over the mountains as if

stick,

hundred

Mother Seigel

'

'

record breaker

Could she have been

unfortunately, not given.

held- a

'^

This recipe,"

physician of the Ding Dynasty.


(this

grand

the

of

In

her

hand

she

and she was pursuing an old fellow


years.

The mandarin asked the woman,

78

Why

do

you beat that old man

grandson/ she answered.


old,

and he

'

am

five

'

He

hundred years

only one hundred and eleven

is

my

is

he will

not properly take his medicine, and therefore I

am

The mandarin alighted from his horse,


down and did obeisance to her, saying,

heating him.'

and knelt
*

Give me, I pray you,

down
it

name," adds the veracious Chinese quack.

its

Whatever may be thought


moderns

of the existence

amongst

no one can,

of lineal descendants of Ananias,

after this,

express any doubt as to the probability

that a contingent of them must have foand

way

it

Hence

mankind.'

to posterity for the salvation of

got

may hand

this drug, that I

their

across the Asiatic continent to the land of the

Celestials.

Reading
''

further,

cure

will

physiology
that

will

it

of the

as

seven

the

of

is

learn that this fairy medicine

affections

all

derangements

we

five

and

ailment under the sun.

Chinese
physic and

emotions "

wonderful as Chinese

speedily

and

intestines

effectually

Here are

relieve

every

directions for its

administration, the dose being equal to a quarter of

an ounce
feel light

^^Take

take

become brisk

it

for

it

for five dajs,

for ten days,

and the body

and your

will

spirits will

twenty days, and the voice will be

strong and clear, and the hands and feet supple

for

one year, and white hairs will become black again, and

you

will

and

all

move

as

though

flying.

troubles will vanish,

Take

and you

it

constantly

will pass a long

79
life

without growing

The

old.''

price per bottle

our

readers must not put the value of this elixir at too

many

thousands

pounds

of

about

is

3d.

3s.

in

After this specimen of quack an-

English money.

nouncements we

expect to hear of a rush on

shall

the part of British patent medicine vendors to secure

Chinese managers for their advertising departments,

fame and increase the

to spread their
pills, potions,

and

is

no time

of their

upon the

fact that

plasters.

There are pessimists who


there

sale

insist

like the past, that

men

of the present

day are degenerate, physically and mentally, when

compared with those of bygone

Certainly, in

times.

the matter of hard lying the quacks of other days

could almost give points, judging by four advertise-

ments taken from a newspaper published in the early


part of the last century.

The

first

is

^^

an incomparable pleasant tincture to

restore the sense of smelling,


years, a few drops of

which

though

(the tincture

being snuffed up the nose, infallibly


wonder, was this word

first

lost

(at

many

for

we presume),
what date, we

adopted by quacks

?)

cure

who have lost their smell, let it (the loss is


meant, we suppose) proceed from what cause soever."

those

This

marvellous

stuff,

Mr.

be obtained only at
period of which

now

we

at

2s.

6d.

bottle,

Payne's toyshop

was
(at

to

the

are writing toyshops were not as

limited to the sale of toys, but were a kind of

bazaar

or

emporium

for

many

articles)

at

the

80
*'

Angel and Crown,

in St. Paul's Churchyard, near

Cheapside."

No. 2 was '^an admirable confect, which assuredly


cures stuttering or stammering in children or

though ever

persons,

causing them to speak

so bad,

and freely without any trouble or

distinct

The advertisements concludes with


effects are really

that the confect

grown

"

difficulty.""

stupendous

Its

wonderful," not omitting to mention

can be secured,

the

at

moderate

charge of half-a-crown a pot, at Mr. Osborn's toyshop,,


at the

Rose and Crown, under

St.

Dunstan's Church,

Fleet Street.

The

third preparation

memory

is

for

specific

or forgetfulness, certainly cured

electuary, peculiarly adapted for that end

" loss

of

by a grateful
;

it

strikes at

the prime cause, which few apprehend, of forgetfulness^

makes the head

and

clear

easy, the spirits free, active,

and undisturbed, corroborates and revives


faculties of the soul, such as thought,

and memory, which

all

judgment, reason,

last in particular it so strengthens,

as to render that faculty exceedingly quick

beyond imagination, thereby enabling

memory was

the noble

and good
whose

those

before almost totally lost to

remember

the minutest circumstance of their affairs, &c., to a


Mr. Payne retailed this miracle at 2s. 6d.
wonder "
!

a pot.

What

a pity

got for love or

money

petitive examinations

cately

it

suggestive

seems that

it

cannot

now be

in these times of fierce

com-

AVhat an excellent and

deli-

present

it

would

have

been

at

81

accompanying

Christmas,
livered

'^

'^

accounts

sent out to long-winded debtors

No. 4 advertisement

that of

is

^*

de-

an assured cure for

whicb proceeds from a cause wbicli

leanness,

know, but
tincture,

and

bills

removed by an unparalleled

easily

which

fortifies

few

specific

the stomach, purifies the blood,

takes off fretfulness of the mind, occasions rest and

easy

and as certainly disposes and causes the

sleep,

body

(was this
artful
afflicts

no

?)

manifest

the patients, as water will quench

also the best

that

hedging

of

bit

take

remedy

their

fleshy,

distemper
It is

fire.

in nature for all chronic diseases

from a bad digestion

rise

stomach, which this specific tincture infallibly


It is pleasant to taste "
and thereby cures.

many undoubted

if

some mistrustfulness, or an

a sign of

//'

plump and

become

and

thrive

to

dietetic cures for

the

in

rectifies

are
leanness and that
so

universal philanthropist of the last century, Payne,


literally

gave

away

it

at his toyshop,

with directions

sum

for use, charging only the ridiculously inadequate


of 3s. 6d. a bottle

A
Office

reference

the

to

pages

occupying

almost

missionaries

every
here,

columns

New

Guinea,

of

charitable
there,

and

pocket-handkercHicfs to the
to

of

the

London Post

Directory discloses the fact that innumerable

societies,

for

small
object,

Polynesians,

to

the

Fiiians,

exist

dispatching

everywhere,

samplers to Sarawak,

Labuan, female doctors

type,

sending

nicknacks
lanterns

and

so

to

on

82
surely a sufficient

sum

could be

raised

among the

credulous to constitute an exploration fund, so that a


search might be

As

books.

organized for Payne's prescription

our contribution,

(box of Beecham's

Pills,

we would

having had

give a '^guinea''

returned on our

it

hands by our analyst, after examining


There

''

nothing new under the

is

the ancient philospher

and

'^

no matter of surprise

sun,''

exclaimed

History repeats itself"

has grown into a recognised axiom.

It

to find that a

part of what for distinction's sake

we

is,

consequently,

modern counterwill call Payne's

4 exists in the widely advertised nostrum

1^0.

as

it).

Mother

Payne

Seigel's Syrup.

digestion of the stomach "

while Mother
in that

that

^^

dyspepsia."

asserts that ^'bad

the root of

all diseases

Seigel, or rather the proprietary trading

name,

there

is

known

insists, in

is

a pamphlet lying before us,

only one real disease, indigestion and

We

do not wish to be too censorious,

otherwise we might suggest that the conjunction and


in this quotation destroys the force of the remark that
*^

there

is

only one real disease" {one in

italics, too),

but

perhaps the author of the pamphlet meant to say,


"
^'

or.^'

Whichever he

or she intended to say,

we

say,

Hunihucj,'^^

Elsewhere in the same pamphlet the writer speaks


of

^'

We
it

who own

these medicines."

have not the same opportunity

nor do we desire

the intelligent persons

of

gence,

examming into their or their writer's


that we have of analysing their stuif
;

intelli-

but, in

83
face of the positive assertion that there
disease,

we cannot wonder

appears to do,
impression

''

that

upon

the

as to the merits

only one

or comphiin, as the writer

there

is

minds

intelligent owners excepted,

ments

is

and

more

or less

some people

of

of course)

''

an

of
"

that

(the
state-

popular medi-

effects of

cines should be received with a degree of allowance/'

Very

prettily put,

Now, when

it

it

and prevailing

quite consistent with such

with

containing

hroadsheet

many

is

issue

to

observe.

so positively asserted that there is

is

only one disease,


statement

we must

each

bottle

of

syrup

an account of ^^the strange

disease of this country," printed in so

languages, from Arabic

down

to Turkish, that

countries " should have been nearer the

mark

^^

all

^'

Prevailing" certainly conveys the idea that from the


point

writer's
exist,

view other diseases

of

though not

to the

same extent

may and
as that

do

under

Further, after enumerating a whole host


of symptoms, " all in turn present,"
enough, as an
discussion.

American

would

say,

to

make

man mad on

swallowing any nostrum, however nauseous, so that

he
on

may
to

escape at least some of


say

that

'^

medical

nature of this disease.


(query,

'

r^s',')

'^

them

\\ie

writer goes

men have mistaken

Some have

a liver complaint,

treated

some

it

the

for"

for dyspepsia,

others for kidney disease, &c., but none of the various

kinds of treatment have been attended with success."

None

Well, that

is

a poser

for

if,

as the writer

84
has elsewhere told
that

disease

men

should

there

us,

dyspepsia,

it

only one disease, and

is

singular

is

medical

that

have failed in their diagnosis when

all

they treated the patient


writer has put

it

not

the

But a ray

for dyspepsia.

ligence has just darted into

is

not so particular, after

inculcate the doctrine that there


as

he

is

to impress

one remedy for

unsparingly
cause

remedy

all,

is

in his desire to

only one disease


is

only

and that that remedy

The medical men whom he has

and

truth

of

we

Perhaps

his readers that there

all diseases,

Syrup.

Seigel's

upon

of intel-

our mind, although

are not proprietors of any patent medicines.

the writer

the

as

disease,

indiscriminately

attacked,

omitted

(and Seigel),

to their unfortunate (?)

to

patients

in

give

is

so

the
this

hence, he

wishes Seigel's customers to infer, arises the failure to


effect a cure in

any single

instance.

Our readers must be getting


anxiety to learn the

medicine
leteer

into a state of feverish

composition of this wonderful

this '^Nature's secret," as the Seigel

modestly styles

it

pamph-

in the panegyric with

which

he introduces a number of testimonials from persons

who,

''

of their

own

accord

'^

(the

pamphlet does not

enlighten us as to whether also at their

have

come

forward

to

make

own

expense),

declarations

before

magistrates or commissioners (not such a remarkable


or difficult thing)

''

with no other motive than the

noble one of letting other sufferers


is to

be had in the time of need."

know where

help

85

Mr.

Stokes,

analyst

public

other important metropolitan

" Nature's secret," and

we

Paddington

for

districts,

and

has unveiled

present his report

Analytical Laboratory, Vestry Hall,

Paddington Green, W.

Dear

Sir,

On September Tth I received from you a sample of

" Mother Sei gel's Syrup."

This was in a four ounce bottle, in

unopened wrappers, and still sealed with the unbroken


stamp of the Inland Eevenue bearing the words, "A. J. White,

its

Limited, London."

now

This sample I have

carefully examined, chemically

and

microscopically.
I find

it

to be a

aloes, capsicum,

The

complex mixture containing

and

treacle, borax,

liquorice.

active ingredient

is aloes,

of

which I extracted from the

4 oz. mixture the quantity of 120 grains.


I remain, yours faithfully,

Alf.

W. Stokes,

F.C.S., F.I.C.,

Public Analyst.

Aloes to the right of them, aloes to the left of them,

Aloes

We

must apologise

to

our readers for thus abruptly

bursting into a parody of Tennyson's beautiful verses.

Our emotion was

for the

moment

Perhaps,

pressed in plain prose.

too great to be ex-

too,

writing on patent

medicines brought the Valley of Death of Tennyson's

poem

into our mind.

We had just

come

across an old

name has repeatedly occurred in


articles
we will not say a dear old

acquaintance, whose
this

series

of

acquaintance, as aloes

is

not an expensive drug.

More-

86

we

over,

felt that

we were getting nearer

to the dis-

covery of the Philosopher's Stone, the universal panacea

humanity by the principal patent

as offered to suffering

medicine proprietors,

doubt

(vide

^^intelligent

the Seigel pamphlet).

out into verse,

we would beg

persons,''

If

without

we must not break

at least the favour of

Aloes,

permitted to indulge in capitals.

'^

being

in the

name

of the profit, aloes," aloes heads the poll.

As

those

our readers

of

who have perused our

previous articles will remember, aloes enters largely


into

HoUoway's

alias

of

^^

Prairie

forms the chief component of Sequah's

Flower,"

it

mixture

and now we

under the

pills;

Stokes, that aloes

is

learn,

on the authority of Mr.

the active ingredient of Mother

Seigel's Syrup.

We

may

here note a peculiar fact which scarcely

goes to support the '^intelligent " theory of the Seigel

pamphleteer, namely, that there seems to exist in the

minds

of patent medicine proprietors a delusion that

the growth of aloes

is

confined to the United States,

whereas nearly the whole supply

West

is

imported from the

Indies.

It is a curious circumstance that

commercial substance like aloes

is

when

common

required for

manu-

facturing a quack nostrum, such great care and ex-

pense are alleged to be necessary for the cultivation


of the plant

makers

and the preparation

of the

of the drug.

The

Sequah Prairie Flower Mixture profess

to ransack the extensive

woods and plains of the Far

87

West
in

in search of the vegetable extract (aloes)

composition

its

and the proprietors

of

Seigel's

Syrup print on their wrappers the following

ment

''

been for
barks,

The manufacturers

of

years the largest

fifty

and herbs in the world.

this

state-

medicine have

gatherers of roots,

Their botanical gar-

dens are the most extensive in America."

may

used

Why,

one

reasonably inquire, do these " intelligent persons

^'

take the trouble to gather and grow thus largely such


simples as aloes, capsicum, treacle, and liquorice, which
could

be readily purchased in tons of any wholesale

druggist

And, by the bye, we would remark

notwithstanding

reading,

we

knowledge

situated.

of

the

of personal travel

United

and of

are absolutely ignorant of the locality in

which Mother

Seigel's extensive botanical gardens are

The address (America) given on the wrappers

decidedly as

tions thereon

more

fair

as the result both

States,

is

that,

belief

much too vague as many of the asserand we have no


are much too positive
;

in

their

existence

than

in

the

other

statements put forward by the proprietors of Seigel's

Syrup.

Chapter X.

Mixture

Blood

Clarke's

The Alleged

Tes-

timonial FROM THE LATE Dr. SwAINE TaYLOR,


F.R.S.

The Obverse and the Rgverse.

In Chapter VI. we published a

letter

Bartlett pointedly drawing attention

from Dr. H. C.
to

the circum-

stance that in the newspaper advertisements of Clarke's

Blood Mixture the proprietors were making extensive


use of a testimonial alleged to have emanated from
the late Dr. Swaine Taylor,

pied

scientific

prominent

position

We

world.

testimonial in print, and

concerning

its

who

had

for

many

years occu-

analytical

and

previously noticed

this

in

the

had formed our own opinion

authenticity,

an

opinion which

we

found that we shared in common with Dr. Bartlett

and others

who had enjoyed

the

confidence

and

friendship of Dr. Swaine Taylor during this gentle-

man's

lifetime.

No

sibly be brought to

who knew him could


believe for a single moment
one

pos-

that

he could ever have drawn up such a testimonial


not indeed, in favour of any advertised nostrum, but
still

less

with reference to Clarke's Blood Mixture.

Before proceeding further, we will give two quotations

89

one known

be in Dr. Swaine Taylor's

to

own hand-

writing, the other taken from a gigantic advertisement


of the Blood Mixture

which has appeared very exten-

and weekly newspapers for some

sively in the daily

time back.

The Obverse.
(From the Report and Analysis of Clarke's Blood Mixture,
published by Dr. Taylor in the Lancet of 1875, under the
heading of " Quack Medicines.")
After describing the ingredients (see Chapter
Dr.

Taylor wrote

"

should be designated a
purifier

Why
'

such a mixture as this

blood mixture

than

to this title

nitre,

common

and a

'

'

blood

no more claim

It has

incomprehensible.

is

II.),

ammoniac, or

salt, sal

other saline medicines which operate on and through


the blood by absorption.
iodide

of

potassium,

known, and there

The only novelty


iodide

is

and that

is

the

Its properties

ingredient)

chief

no novelty in

in this

form

(?*.^.,

of

its

those of
are well

emploj^ment.

mixture

is

that the

dissolved in water coloured with burnt sugar,


it

is

described as a

'

blood purifier.'

The

four doses directed to be taken daily represents sixteen grains of iodide of potassium, and

taking

it is

the patient

not uryder medical observation such a daily

quantity as this
mischief.

if

may

accumulate in the system and do

In some constitutions the iodide of potas-

sium frequently taken proves

specially injurious.

It

produces iodism."

We

may mention

here that iodism

is

the condition

90

symptoms

in which,

of poisoning of the system

show

themselves, very similar in character to the salivation,


&c., observed in cases of gradual mercurial poisoning.

Very often

even small

such as a grain,

doses,

repeated several times a day,


effects.

will

occasion

if

serious

Indeed, as a high authority on the action of

drugs says,

^^

Iodide of potassium sometimes produces

distressing depression of

becomes

irritable,

mind and body.

dejected,

listless,

The

and

patient

wretched.

Exercise soon produces fatigue, and perhajDS fainting."

The same writer

may

affect the

also remarks,

''

grain, or even less,

Yet the printed

stomach."

enclosed with each bottle,

directions

recommending

after

this

preparation as a never-failing cure for a whole host of


diseases, actually state that it is "

anything injurious

to the

most

warranted free from

delicate constitution of

either sex."

But we

are not

and nature

now

of Clarke's

reporting upon the composition

we have done
and what we have under
moment is the question of

Blood Mixture

that at full length already,

examination at the present

Swaine Taylor

the genuineness of the alleged


monial.

AVe

testi-

what we may term

will therefore quote

The Reverse.
(Cutting from an advertisement of Clarke's Blood Mixture,

contained in a
''

London

daily paper,

Clarke's Blood Mixture

any poison

August

is

20th, 1893.)

entirely free

from

or metallic impregnation, does not contain

91

any injurious ingredient, and

Alfred

medicine/'

ful

is

and use-

a good, safe,

Swaine

M.D.,

Taylor,

F.R.S., Lecturer on Medical Jurisprudence and Toxicology.


It

diametrically

known

opposite

The

statements.

the

expression

deliberate

man

of

of

words are well weighed, and their writer

science, the

evidently prepared to prove up to the

thing that he has

said.

what do we

Reverse,

Obverse,

have been written by Dr. Swaine Taylor,

to

embodies

is

two

absolutely impossible to reconcile these

is

hilt,

every-

But when we turn

to the

find ?

denial

positive

of

Swaine Taylor had previously

everything that Dr.

published, and that had gone uncontradicted for the

simple reason that

metaphor

of a coin,

was

it

true.

Continuing our

though the Obverse

sterling metal, the Reverse

is

is

of

good

too brassy to be allowed

If the coin were actual instead of metaphori-

to pass.
cal,

all

the Reverse would speedily insure for

the fate of

it

the spurious bits of metal that one sometimes sees in


a village shop nailed to the counter

sham and

human

warning

being

outside

to

evil-doers.

Colney

Hatch

as
Is

fictitious

there

or

any

Hanwell

who would attempt to uphold the


argument that the same man who wrote the first
opinion also penned the second ?
Scientific men of
Lunatic Asylums

high reputation and honourable position do not " turn


about and wheel about " in this

Of

all

with

whom we

Jim Crow

fashion.

have been acquainted during

92
a long experience, we cannot point to one less likely
to '* give himself away " in this incomprehensible style

than the late Dr. Swaine Taylor.

In a former number of the journal from which these


articles are reprinted,

of

the proprietors

to

When,

we put

the following questions

Mixture

Blood

Clarke's

whom

was

where

can

questions

Why

his signature witnessed ?

original

be

we would add

yet

proprietors

from

testimonial
5.

the

did the

withhold

And

How

years

until

others,

the

1.

so

Dr.

we

first

By

2.

and

To these
namely
mixture

blood

important

Taylor's

do they account for using

Blood Mixture

it

death

so exten-

published his undoubted

in our article on Clarke's

They have had


fully

of

after

and unchallenged opinion,

first

two

When

3.

inspected?

knowledge

public

sively directly after

the

where, and under what circumstances did Dr.

Swaine Taylor give the alleged testimonial

4.

a long interval in

which

to

answer

three queries, but they have remained care-

dumb.

fatal illness

Having promised Dr. Bartlett


that we would follow this matter

shall not shrink

from

in his

up,

fulfilling our undertaking.

we

On

July 24th, only six days before his decease. Dr. Bartlett dictated a

letter

which was forwarded

Avhich he said that, feeling that the

upon him, he must try

to

hand

to us, in

of death

was

complete earlier than he had

intended the evidence which he was able to give con-

cerning the alleged certificate advertised by the pro-

93

relate that

he was standing in the

man whom he
come

to

office of a gentle-

began

gentleman

this

Clarke about

Dr.

genuine

Taylor's

Clarke laughed and

said,

'

Mr.

tease

to

Mr.

''

report.

I shall wait a few years

till

dead, and then no one can prove that

is

me

he did not give


(continues

goes on to

names, and that, Mr. Clarke happening

in,

the old fogey

He

Blood Mixture.

prietors of Clarke's

Dr.

Shortly after this

a certificate.'

Bartlett,

what might

in

termed his djdng deposition)

'^at

be

almost

one of the

'^

final

meetings of the Arsenical Wall-Paper Committee of

my

dear old friend (Dr.

I simply told

him what Mr. Clarke

the Society of Arts, I met

Swaine Taylor).

had

me

He was

said.
if

horrified,

and exclaimed,

Defend

may

he should carry out his threat, and you

say

that I never did, and never should, give a certificate

any such

for

for Clarke's

now

article,

and I certainly never gave one

Blood Mixture.'

in," concludes Dr.

If the condition I

Bartlett,

^^

adds anything in

solemnity to the above-given plain statement of


let it

my
H.

be so

but I have

now

my

carried out

old friend, Dr. Alfred Swaine Taylor."


C.

enforce attention."
all

wrote,

We

^^

duty to

(Signed)

the tongues of dying

the circumstances of the case

will- doubtless

own

and we will

conclusions,

coincide with those to

irresistibly impelled.

men

can draw but one inference

leave our readers to form their

been

facts,

Bartlett.

As Shakespeare
from

am

which

which we have

Chapter XI.

Quack Testimonials

Mother

The

people

who

hope that they

by

''

Clarke's Blood Mixture

Seigel's Syrup.

quack of universal cures/' in the

may

"

mighty heaps

this practice {Hiidihras,

Part

III.,

of coin increase

Canto

1),

"

are not

over particular as to the means adopted, the end being


the object which they keep steadily in view

any

rate,

common prudence

but, at

should dictate to them

the desirability of having a semblance of truth in the


testimonials they print and circulate.

For

instance,

in a

weekly paper lying before us (dated August 20th)

we

find

the proprietors

of

Clarke's Blood

Mixture

boasting in a whole column advertisement that they


"
have the "" largest sale of any medicine in the world

and that they possess " thousands

of testimonials "

circumstance to which they apparently attach so

much

value that they relieve their pent-up feelings of pride

by repeating the alleged

fact

three times in cajDital

letters.

If all the testimonials

blood mixture

make such

which the proprietors of the


a parade of are like that

we

have printed in Chapter X., then we say that they

must be the possessors

of the

largest

forged documents ever brought together.

collection

of

95

Our

we

not elicited any reply, and

they would, for the simple

We

unanswerable.

(1)

did not expect that

reason

gave more than

we have

for the conclusions

arrived

that

they

are

grounds

sufficient

and these are

at,

That Dr. Swaine Taylor never gave the alleged

testimonial

witnessed

(2)

signature

his

scientific

man

of

one

ever

no such

any such document

would
In

unmistakable forgery.

either

that,

(3)

inspection

existence,

no

consequently,

that,

testimonial exists, or if there be

in

Chapter X., have

five questions also printed in

prove

short,

the

it

be an

to

name

of

high reputation and of undoubted

integrity has been

used for base purposes after his

death.

Sometimes, in their haste, patent medicine vendors

commit the
he

is

error of treating the doctor as dead while

yet alive.

For

instance, several years back, the

proprietors of the quack

remedy

called

Mother

Seigel's

Syrup largely advertised a testimonial from a railway


of a

made very

name
well-known Manchester medical practitioner, who

guard, in which they

was wrongly described

not

the only false thing in

the guard's testimonial, by the

Dacre Fox.

But the

most inconveniently,

late

free use of the

way

Dr. Dacre

as the late Dr.

Fox turned up

for, instead of

being dead, he had

He

brought an action

only changed his residence.


for libel again t the Sei gel's

Syrup proprietors, which

was heard before Mr. Justice Lavvrance


Assizes, with the

result that the jury

at the

Leeds

awarded him

96

The defendants obtained

1,000 damages.

stay

of

execution only by paying 1,000 into court pending

an

appeal

and tbey were no more successful in

London than
Court of

The judges sitting in the


Appeal were the Lord Justices Lindley,
at Leeds.

On

Bowen, and Kay.

Lord

ments

the conclusion of the argu-

Lindley,

Justice

giving judgment,

in

commented severely on the conduct


It certainly appeared to him.

of the defendants.

Lord Justice Lindley

observed, that the defendants had published the libel

under the impression that the

plaintiff

and that they would be perfectly

was

safe,

really dead,

inasmuch as

the person libelled was dead, and could not turn

Unfortunately for

against them.

and instituted an

alive,

justify the libel,

Dr.

Fox had been

imputed

to

The defendants

which they unquestionably

There was not a

do.

action.

up
them. Dr. Fox was

tittle

failed to

show that

guilty of the conduct which they

The whole

him.

of evidence to

tried to

object of the libel was to

puiF the defendants' wares, and they went out of their

way

to

their

libel

the plaintiff for the purpose of puffing

own quack

scrupulous

as

They were utterly unthe means taken by them, so

medicines.

to

unscrupulous that they did not shrink from casting

blame

upon a person supposed

to

be dead.

Court saw no reason to grant either a new


reduce the damages
dismissed with costs.

The
trial or

therefore the appeal would be

Lord Justices Bowen and Kay

concurred in this decision.

Chapter XII.
Beecham's

An

Pills,

old Scotch proverb runs as follows

''

but one good wife in the world, and every

he has her."

most of

This

its class,

man

is

thinks

a curious proverb, which, like

is

admits of a double rendering

must be a rare

good wives

either

There

Scotch husbands must

be

for,

commodity,

more uxorious

far

or

and

credulous than might be expected of the residents of


a nothern clime.

making

of

If a patent medicine

'^

There

is

every quack asserts that he

it

is

the sole possessor of

aim was

to part

he treasured
with

it,

even

he would have his customers believe) at a most

alarming

sacrifice.

Take, as an example, the

and

but one remedy, and

It could not, however, be said that

up, but that his chief

(as

the

proverbs he would probably modify the

Scotch saying into

it."

man had

as

pills

so

widely advertised,

equally loudly puffed h\ their manufacturer,

" Worth a guinea a box," ho


Thomas Beecham.
declares them to be, with such persevering pertinacity
that one is almost compelled to imagine that Thomas
Beecham is the very antithesis of his scriptural
nam-esake, or that he had made the assertion so often
that he has finally

come

to believe in

it

himself.

Yet

98
ready to

lie is

sell

sum

lously small

any number

of boxes at tbe ridicu-

and three-halfpence,

of one shilling

which trade discounts would further reduce


pence or

less.

We

to nine-

need not be too particular on

this

point, but will assume, for the sake of a simple calculation, that

his

Beecham

establishment

receives for every

the

grand

total

box that leaves


bronze

nine

of

pennies.

Just

made

now we quoted

a proverb, and

the

remind us

in the previous paragraph

of another

which lays down the commercial axiom that


ninepence
that

it is

is

better than a slow shilling

''

'^
;

a nimble

implying

better to do a quick turnover at small profits

than a slow one showing a larger


action.

remarks

Yet whoever heard

proverb as
guinea " ?

^^

profit

on each trans-

of such a straining of this

a nimble ninepence

is

better than a slow

But Beecham does not get even ninepence


per box, for the sum of three half-pence vanishes in

connection with the medicine stamp that adorns each


box, and, as will be shown shortly,

is

the most costly

part of the business.

Was

such reckless trading ever

only instance which can at


of the old apple- woman

all

known

before

compare with

who was

it is

The
that

in the habit of tell-

ing her youthful customers that though she bought

her stock of apples at the rate of three for a penny, she

was in a position

to retail

them

at the rate of four a

penny, owing to the large scale upon which she conducted her purchases.

99

Perhaps

dame repeated

old

tlie

assertion so

this

frequently, and with such ''damnable iteration/' as the

poet said, that at last she came to believe

we
believing that

Beecham

believes

credit for

his place are

him

have given

as

just as

it,

j)ossible

the pills manufactured at

worth twenty-one shillings a box.

"Working out the foregoing

Beecham ought

unsophisticated mind,

be a million-

to

aire to be able to stand against his continuous


losses, instead

through the

of being

we

a millionaire, as

(according to Beecham)
received, say
pills

Actual loss per box (according to Cocker)

We
but

we

heavy

are told,

sale of his pills.

Value of box of

Amount

our

figures, according to

do not profess to

set

d.

10

conundrums

will give a guinea (box of

s.

110
3

in our pages,

Beecham's

pills) to

anyone who can produce a greater puzzle, a more


complete paradox than
tightly

drawn for us

The Gordian knot

this.

to

attempt to undo

therefore, try to solve the mj^stery

aid of a ^skilled analyst,

what these precious


value,"

^'

pellets

more precious

Beecham modestly

who

styles

accompanying each box

too

must,

calling in the

will be able to tell us

these

than

them

by

We

it.

is

''

gold

pearls
or

of

great

silver,"

as

in the printed circular

are composed

of.

Analytical Laboratory,

Paddington, W.,

December 21st.
Dear Sir, On December loth I received from you a box of
Beecham' s Patent Pills." The box was securely fastened with

,,

100
the unbroken label of the Inland Eevenue Office.
I have

now made

ination of the

exam-

a careful chemical and microscopical

pills.

The mass of the pill material consists of ground ginger.


The active ingredient of the pill is aloes.
In

my

opinion the

mixed up with

and ginger

pills consist solely of aloes

soap.

Yours

faithfully,

Alfred W. Stokes,

F.C.S., F.I.C.,

Public Analyst.

Goodness

gracious

gracious

goodness

ancient apple- woman ejaculated, one dark


night,

when

under her humble

seems, been discussing the

wrong data

question upon

one fact
that

November

Mr. Stokes'

whatever

Beecham

is

have,

it
'^

and, seeing that Beecham's

analysis,
else

We

stall.

worth a guinea a box

'^

assertion about the value of his


bj^

our

a mischievous urchin discharged a specially

spiteful cracker

upset

as

may

we

pills

are

is

completely

bound

be disproved

not such a loser after

admit

to

namely,

all.

Further investigations demonstrate that the

j)i'oxi-

mate proportions of the three ingredients named in


Mr.

Stokes'

report

ginger, 2 parts

are

aloes,

as

follows

2 parts.

Soap,

What a revelation

part
to

be

made on St. Thomas's Day not Thomas Beecham's


Well, if Beecham's scriptural nameby any means
!

sake had had to do with Beecham's


latitude for scepticism

pills,

considerable

should have been allowed to

him.
Soap, ginger, aloes

According

to

Beecham's asser-

101

some thirty or

tive advertisements,

composed

three materials

of

character,

possible

of

are worth

so of little pills,

about the cheapest

guinea a box

other words, even averaging thirty-six in a box


are not particular as to one or two

more

In

we

or less, so

long as Ave are not expected to swallow either them or


the

statement

We

each

pill

may

do not wish to be too

wondering

what part

in

his soap, his ginger,

and

be calculated at

7d.

we cannot help
world Beecham buys

critical,

of the

but

up

his aloes to bring his pills

to this boasted value.

Tons

into tons of pills (otherwise

ought

'^

^'

of allegory,

Lancashire friends would say


of such manufacture,

patent medicine
cost

of aloes

pearls of great value

if

it

Beecham^ s

stamp,

we reckon the

for, as

were not for the

would

pills

Inland Revenue Stamp comes in useful, as

convey

'^)

namely, " brass," as our

even one penny to make a boxful.

Beecham

made

bring in something " more precious than

to

gold or silver

results

and tons

of soap, tons of ginger,

not

But the
it

enables

to call his nostrum " Patent Pills," and thus

to

customers the mysterious idea that they

have some remarkable special properties.

And

so

they ought to have

if

there

is

sufficient

foundation for the high praises bestowed upon them

by Beecham,
box

of

in his circular,

They

pills.

ages," says Beecham.


net,

when

it

is

are

wrapped around every

suited

This

is

to

"^

females of

all

a good sweep of the

considered that the feminine outnum-

102

community

bers the masculine portion of the

Beecbam

we were

quently

by

scorns to do things

recommended,

and

of

the net,

creature

seeing

that

Whateyer

Here

to old age."

it

is

takes

might be

else

he cannot be accused of leaying too

both

sexes,.

wider sweep

still

human

eyery

in

pills

^'eyery

for

circular,

class of disorders that afBict all ages

from youth

and conse-

halyes,

not surprised at finding the

page 5 of his

at

but

Beecham,

said of

many

chances for

other patent medicine yendors.

After the statement just quoted, others seem, by


comparison, mild.

Still,

^^may be giyen

pills

infirm with perfect

energy

the

to

is

and
^^

they are

Scotchman would
eyesight

they

they

safety'^;

say,

^^

or,

to the

aged and

^^giye

tone and

produce sound and refresh-

gude
as

for

In

all

een,"

sair

Beecham puts

destroy '^the seeds or symptons^^* (this

the

''

is

it,
'^
;

as
''

the

they

Beecham^s

of direful diseases."

afiections

recommended, and

whole

the

inyigorate

strengthened beyond conception

spelling, not ours)

The

refer to some.

an infant, or

muscles,

neryous sj^stem "


ing sleep "

to

we may

he

names

Beecham shows

large
a

tendency towards liberality in this respect

doses

are

very decided
;

^^he giveth

with a free hand," as becomes a philanthroj)ist who

is

perpetually distributing guineas in return for pence.


If

Beecham
Hitehinfj of

sold his pills at the yalue he puts


thc^

mentions elsewhere.

breast or head

is

^'

syinptoiV vvhieli

on

Beecham

103
them, a guinea a box, taking his

pills

For persons

swallowing money.

''

would be

like

labouring under

the influence of drink " he advises six or eight pills

Rough on

as a dose.

of

those

who

overstep the bounds

moderation at anv festive season,

may

readers

men

think

but then,

put an enemy in their mouths to

'^

our

Shakespeare wrote,

as

if,

some of

steal

away

must bear the consequences, and

their brains," they

they are entitled to scant sympathy even should they


take the entire contents of the box.

The quotations we have given


mens

Beecham's modesty.

of

times so carried

convey

away by

Indeed, he

his feelings that

to his customers that

But he has hot the

are sufficient speci-

he

is

some-

is

he

tries to

a qualified doctor.

slightest right to do this.

A search

through the Medical Register failed to discover the

name

and a query addressed

to the secretary of the

Pharmaceutical Society elicited the answer that the

name

Thomas Beecham does not appear either in


the register of the members of that society or in that
of

of the Chemists
this
*'

and

Dru^ro-ists of

Great Britain.

quack writes in the following misleading


It falls to the lot of very

few

he writes in his pamphlet,

style

iwactitioners to

through the experience that I have had in


diseases,"

Yet

'^

go

this class of

though for many

years I have not treated on this subject here, neither

was

it

my

intention to do

duty to perform, I

duty

if

so, but, as

everyone has a

feel that I shall not

be doing

my

any longer Avithhold that advice and informa-

104

human

family stand in

Briefly, the adyiee, given

by a man whose

tion

which thousands

need

of."

qualifications

give

to

of the

summed up

in the short

taking

triple

common

his

aloes

information
vouchsafes

nil,

concoction

six

that "

and

ginger,

soap,

while

the

all

medical authority

Beecham's Pills

to be pearls of great value,"

be

to persevere in

is

dose

as

pills

of

self -assumed

this
is,

word

may

advice

professional

found

will be

and that " they

(!)

will, as

sure as water quenches thirst, search out," and thus

cure the most terrible diseases to which


is

human

Remarkable information, truly

subject.

his anxiety to get people to swallow half a


pills daily

he has forgotten

Is

specific ?

it

the soap, or the ginger, or the

the

purgative,

is

Beecham's

Pills,

Flower

Mixture,

SeigeFs Syrup,
People,

of

of

it

aloes

is

If patent medicines

is it

to be

of

of

The

air, earth,

had existed

Mother
for

Pills

might possibly have been included

frequently

common

Sequah Prairie

and many other nostrums.


viz.

of

ingredient

Pills,

Pink

William's

box

merely an ordinary

of the

HoUoway's

enumerated four elements,


fire.

is

only really active

just as

in

the highly vaunted

is

The last-named, which

aloes ?

but,

which of these

to tell us

three ingredients in his pills

flesh

Pale

ancients

water,

and

in their days,
as a fifth, so

found in quack preparations.

Chapter XIII.

The Alofas (All-a-Farce) Safe Remedies, and


THE School of 8afe Medicine.

'
'

There

That

is

no composition in these news

o:ives
O'

them

credit."

Shakespeare,

Some

of the

quack nostrums whicli have been exposed

in our columns liaye been chiefly remarkable for the


cool assertions of the

a remedy of
or

priceless value,

or

saltpetre,

substance,

makers that they have discovered

some

before

as rapidly as

present instance

aloes, it

may

equally cheap

which

dew

human

all

almost

they "never

as

common

and

ills

will vanish

before the morning sun.

we have

to

deal with

company, which parades a whole string


tions

be, or soap,

long as the

fail to cure''

list

In the
so-called

of prepara-

which

of diseases

at a shop in JN'ew

Oxford

Street.

Certainly,

some

little

truth amongst quacks,

is

modesty, an article as rare as


exhibited in the appropriately

green-covered pamphlet which

is

the Alofas Comi^any, for they say


.so

many drugs and

j)atent

freely distributed
:

"

At

medicines

a time

by

when

comj)ete

for

106
public favour,

it

may seem

need some apology for

to

But Modesty, blushing

adding to their number."

to

find herself reluctantly pressed into the service of a

patent medicine man, soon disappears, the

scribbler

resumes his wonted impudence, and writes as follows

''

The excuse

be found in the fact that modern

is to

medical science, in spite of

patent

now at its command "


still too
we suppose

the agents

thrown

varied resources and

its

'^

in,

medicines

often finds itself

unable to cope with the various diseases which attack

humanity/'

Company,

So that
a

alias

it

would appear that the Alofas

man named

" Younger," must have

been sent into the world with a special mission to


cure where medical
a homelier

phrase,

science fails,
^'

step

fools

adopt

or that, to

in "

where

science

carefully treads.

However, we must not be altogether

ungrateful

writer of the pamphlet

let

us say.

of

the

the

Younger

curative

has, in

gives

bounteous

some mysterious manner, unfolded

dering gaze

he

tells

for short,

his readers a faint glimpse

which

paradise

them that

Nature

to his

won-

rare exotics have a

wide range of curative power, especially in the more


diffictdt

and complicated

disorders,

and that

been the object of the Alofas Company


assistance of a

''

it

has

(with the

gentleman who, both in the Old World

and the New, has made a

life-long

stvidy

of

the

botanical productions of this and other countries) to

make
plants,

that

happy combination

herbs,

and

flowers,

to

of British

and exotic

which the marvellous

107
Companj^'s remedies

success of the Alofas

Of

attributed."

course,

it

to

is

be

goes almost without saying

that these choice herbal and floral tributes of Nature


to

Younger's penetrating knowledge are described as

absolutely harmless

why, we will explain

shortly,,

and we maj^ even now concede that

this

has some amount of truth about

But, the same

we

reason compels us (as


to

flatly

it.

statement

shall also presently

contradict Younger's assertion that

show)
'^

these

preparations are in no sense quack medicines, but, on


the contrary, are curative agents of great and tried
value."

The

list

of Alofas medicines

sions,

and ranges

2s. 9cL

(reminding one of the

sold

by

says

from Anti-germ

a charlatan

female tincture.

of alarming

is

many

smelling-bottle,

against earthquakes

pills

years ago),

down

They cure everything,

for instance, ihe Alofas tincture

and throat

diseases, including

and pleurisy "

^'

to a special
so

Younger

cures all chest

consumption, bronchitis,

the Alofas powder " cures

dimen-

all

wasting

diseases, night sweats, debility, brain fag, &c."


Pills

promptly

settle

'^

all liver

the

and bowel disorders "

the Stomachic removes ^^all kidnej^ and heart troubles "

the Safe

Remedy

modern Daniel Lambert down

riding weight in a

You pay j^our


showman says,
*'

for Corpulence

jiffej^,

and

so

would bring

Derby jockey's

to a

on through the

list.

monej^, and take your choice," as the


of

the

sixteen

and Yoimgcr guarantees a

Alofas

safe,

compositions,

pleasant,

and

108
rapid cure.

except

some

tliat

worth, accepting,

Our

more could

AYliat

a sensible

man

whose undertaking would be

one,

would guarantee Younger' s

readers would,

require,

we

veracity.

convinced,

are

not be so

unreasonable as to expect us to invest good money,

and

to waste time

and examining

in purchasing

remedial wealth,

we

felt

adopt would be to sample

to better use,

the sixteen Alofas

all

In the embarrassment

medicines.
of

which might be put

of such

an amount

that the best course to

which our readers

after

could follow the advice which Batty used to advertise

concerning his condiments, ''If jou like the pickles,


try the sauce."

Consequently we bought a small bottle of the


thing on the

had some

list

of the

difficulty

''

safe herbal specialities "

in limiting

purchase, as the youth

who was

the

extent

of

first
;

we
our

at the time of our call

apparently in sole charge of this widely-ranging set of


specialities,

bottle, to

most energetically prescribed a larger sized

be taken in conjunction with several of the

other remedies.

But we were proof

efforts of this junior

as well, judging

hj

he

to the j)ersuasive

might have been a Younger

his intense anxiety that Ave should

take the greater part of the visible stock away with us

and

after

ascertaining that

consult ''Dr."

if

Younger ("not an

we wished we
31. D. of

the boy told us) on any evening,

we

could

London, '' as

retired,

minus

13^ d., and plus a bottle of Alofas tincture, described

by Y^ounger,

in his j^^i^^pWet, as

"a

safe

cure for

109
consumption, bronchitis, pleurisy,

chest diseases
as

'^
;

and

and

throat

all

this being as gross a misrepresentation

was ever put on paper.

tincture

is

defined in chemical

treatises

"a
Now,

as

solution of a medicinal substance in alcohol."

there was not a drop of alcohol in the whole bottleful


of fluid

Wanklyn, who analysed the stuff"


and the only " medicinal subhas reported
so Professor

for us,

'^

stances

which

'^

were

glycerine

rare

exotic "

coloured with

productions

of

treacle,

Younger

had

lavishly put 15 per cent, (more than a teaspoonful to

the ounce) into the contents.

evidently introduced to

able bitter flavour,


stuff taste

would

more " phisicky,"

say, struggled

make the

as credulous old

women

with the sickly sweet treacle for

A very

predominance.

somewhat disagree-

cure for consumption

'^

close imitation

might be made

Put nearly three and a half ounces

''

of this

sure

as follows

of water, previously

passed over quassia or chiretta chips (both inexpensive,,


for the ingredients used

are

by patent medicine makers

and costly in imagination and mis-

only rare

not in fact) to give a flavour,

representation,

add more* than half an ounce


cork

it,

shake

it

up well

of glycerine

wc

noticed,

three-halfpenny stamp, and get the


this

consumption and

composition
all

is

when he

on a Government

sold us our treacly treasure), clap

that

treacle,

(the youthful prescriber artfully

did this, as a flnal precaution,

believes

and

then

first

" a

chest and throat

person

safe

who

cure for

diseases

''

to

110
give you good silver coin of the realm for what would

not cost two farthings to make.

From what we happen

know,

to

there

full

is

reason for the belief that the other preparations of

Company

the AU-a-Farce

same absolutely

are of the

worthless character as the tincture.

Perhaps our readers

may

be interested to learn

D. Younger, sometimes called Dr. Younger,

this

There

an institution

is

End

East

of

London, styled by

its

promoters the

of Safe Medicine

The

Charles

Gapp,

leading

men

until a

few years ago a coal-dealer's

connected with

it

are,

clerk,

carrying on a quasi-medical practice in the

London, and describing himself on his

and in

print,

that title

is

now
East End
but

paper

letter

an M.D., though his ojAj claim to

as

which he obtained from

a bogus diploma

the United States without even leaving


''

is.

Stepney Green, in the

at 21,

Magnetic and Botanic School

of

who

London

reverend " Verryman Trimmings, whose Ph.D. and

M.A. have

a similar origin to Gapp's

and

Younger,

''

Dr.''

Gapp's,
F.A.I,

Paris

whatever

AU-a-Farce Company,
that

may

president of the institution at Stepney

one Maguire.
date,

of

we gather

diploma like

also possessor of a

the manager of the


of

M.D. diploma

From

mean

and

together with

a prospectus, bearing a recent

that the Magnetic and Botanic School

Safe Medicine

named) undertake

(practically
'^

to

impart

the

quartet

knowledge

medicine " by a sort of postal tuition.

we have
on

safe

This tuition

Ill
described as being " a unique system, plain to the

is

intellectual grasp,

and tliorougb in

ing knowledge," and

and

which

sum

As

''

president as a

and

bronchitis,
jnateria

and

doubt-

to

receive

handsome production

a very

postal

and

glycerine

of impart-

the postally

unspecified,

mental

the

to

^^

is

worth

well

round

payment,

due

after

diploma,

day "

being entitled in due time,

posted'^

less

mode

specially adapted for persons

in business during the

engaged
'^

'^

ifs

effort "

(and

professors)

''

are

treacle

good,

secure."

to

by

regarded

the

safe cure for consumption, pleurisy,

all

chest

and throat

affections,"

the

mecHca taught at the Stepney establishment

must be

same

of the

class as that referred to in the

following advertisement which appeared some months

ago in a provincial daily paper


undertake the

of

proprietor guarantees that

it

to

imdertaker.''

song says
is

&

the

sale

*^

Wanted, an agent

The

patent medicine.

will be profitable to the

Which nobody can deny," as the old


but what we do deny, most emphatically,

wisdom

''

of the authorities in allowing

Younger

Co. to issue broadcast diplomas certifying medical

ejficiency,

and thus calculated

to deceive

unwary and

ignorant people, although their only value, according


to the printed

they are
^should put

admissions of Younger

" very
it,

&

handsome productions,"

iniposinc/

documents.

Co., is that
or,

as

we

Chapter XIV.

The Ignorance

of

Quacks

the Blindness of

THEIR Dupes.

And yet with canting, sleight, and cheat,


'Twill serve their turn to do the feat."
Hudihras,

The

ignorance of

impudence
concern

quacks

is

equalled

of their assertions.

only by the

Their sole aim and

is
^'

Not for the sickly patient's sake,


Nor what to give, but what to take."

Provided that they can succeed in this last-named


respect, their object

is

accomplished.

In the course of these


medical matters

is

articles their

ignorance of

One quack

proved to be appalling.

will pretend that there is

all

only one disease, for the

simple reason apparently, that he has only one nostrum


to offer

another will assert that his preparation

imbued with

electric

properties,

though

exactly corresponding character can be

any water-tap

and a third

of

rare

and

fluid

of

drawn from

will unblushingly proclaim

through every paper in the land that he


possessor

is

hitherto

is

unknown

the sole
exotic,

which turns out on analysis to be nothing more than


a very indifferent specimen of

common

aloes.

113
Alcohol

been

has

W.

temperance advocate, Sir B.


as the

'^

by

described

well-known

Richardson, F.R.S.,

Quack medicines would

devil in solution."

appear to be the devil both in solution, and in a solid

number

form, judging by the

Majesty

Satanic

with

credited

is

of lies

the

uttered for the purpose of promoting their

The credulous customers

men

sale.

medicine

are generall)^, too, quite as ready to swallow both

the falsehoods and the physic

vendors

it is

This form of

not confined, either, to those whose want

is

of education

the unscrupulous

as

to dispose of the latter.

aic;

blind faith

for

paternity

quack

the

of

which his

of

might be urged

as

some excuse for them

not unf requently to be found amongst persons

of a higher social status.

In such people, the faith in

some particular nostrum amounts


worship, the foundation of which
ness," as our

to a sort of fetishis

based on

American friends would

say,

''

cussed-

on a dogged

determination to hold an opinion, however devoid of


reason

it

may

be.

Truly, as the poet

whom we have

quoted at the head of this chapter wrote


" Obstinacy's ne'er so

As when

'tis

in a

stiff,

wrong

belief."

Speaking just now of the ignorance of quacks, we


are naturally reminded of

many

anecdotes concerning

their general as well as their medical ignorance

we have only room for two of these.


The first is of a man who was tried many
at the

Old Bailey for

illegal

but

years ago

medical practice, which

114

had culminated
cines

(as

the administration of quack medi-

must often do)

in the death of a sick person

with whose case the charlatan had tampered.

^^What

are

'^

^^

Z-u-r-g-i-n.'^

you

'^

asked the prosecuting counsel;

Surgin," was the reply.


" Hoio

''

How

excuse

do you spell

me;

^'

it ?

I did not quite

hear what you said.''


^' C-u-r-g-i-n.^'
(Laughter in
" You sometimes bleed people, do you not ? "
Court.)
'^
^^Yes, of course I do." " Where do you bleed them?
'^
" In the temporal artery."
Where is the temporal
" Why, in the arm, to be sure you don't
artery ? "
;

think you can catch me, do you

know where

dentist not to

(Renewed and prolonged

am

too

good a

the temporal artery is."

laughter.)

The other anecdote is of an American quack. A


New York subscriber to Health News has informed
us that, some time back, there was picked up in one
of the streets of that city a pocket-book, evidently the

property of one of the irregular practitioners with

whom New York

abounds.

The

loser

business and dollars, as evidenced


verbatim extracts
**Kase

230,

Ped me one

to

by the following

Mary An PerkinSy Bisnes,


Fisik, sum blue pills and

Siknes in her hed.


52.

had an eye

dollar,

washerwoman.
a soaperiiik, age

one kuarter dollar pece bad.

Mind get

good kuarter dollar pece, and make her take mo fisik.


**Kase 231, Tummies Krinhs. Bisnes, Irishman, and lives
with Paddy Molony whot keeps a dray. Siknes, dig in the
Fisik, to drink my mixter twise a day
ribs and two black eyes.
of sasiperily beer and jollop and fish-ile with asifedity to make

115
it taste

mo

aged 39 years

me

bekase

Eubed

fisiky.

He

old.

his face

with kart greese linnyment,

drinked the mixter and wuddn't pay

make him

tasted nasty, but the mixter will

it

feel

sorry, I reckon.

"

Kase

Old Muther Boggs,

232,

plenty of money.
celleberated
tea,

wich

xeal sik

it

'

Siknes awl a

Dipseflorikon

was

too.

and bad.

'

Ain't got no bisnes, but

humbug.

^^F

her

wich she said drinked

Must put sumthink

The old

Guv

wummun

in

it

to

sum

of

my

like coled

make her feel

has got the fidgitts."i

XV.

Chapter

The

Men

Cure for Drunkenness.

GrOLD

often swallow falsities for truths.''

If tte learned writer from wliom

Sir

Thomas Browne,

we have taken

this

quotation (worthy to rank with. John Locke as fore-

most of philosophical physicians) could get an insight


into the quackery of the present day,

he would find

abundant opportunity of verifying his axiom.


Indeed, the field

is

so rich in illustrative facts that

one feels an embarras de


for the purpose.

As we

at the papers lying

sight

of

the

letters,

principal

as

marvellous results
Falls,

America."

Gold Cure
street

at

we

catch

j)rinted

London

newspapers.

daily
in

three weeks,

'^

by the double chloride of


prepared and given with such

says this announcement,

Niagara

table,

on the leader page of

" Drunkenness permanently cured

gold treatment

one

write these lines, and glance

upon our library

throughout in capital
one

selecting

in

boldly displayed advertisement,

of

richesses

''

by G. H. McMichael, M.D., of

U.S.A.,

in

his

various

institutes

in

Further on, we are told that at the British


Institute, located for the time

being in a

West End, dipsomania

hereditary

the

or

117
drunkenness

is

permanently and

tary drunkenness

helping

drunkard

the

disgrace

This

an

is

out

easily cured.

ingenious
his

of

way

difficulty

just as, in the case of gout,

Herediof

and

no one was

known to admit that his disease was of his own


making the blame is invariably fixed on a grandfather or some equally convenient ancestor so we

ever

shall

have every

the remark,

you know

Now

''

sot

excusing his delinquencies with

Can^t help

(hie

it, it's

!)

hereditary, don^t

''

this alleged British

Gold cure turns out

to be

what might with greater truth be designated the


American Brass humbug. Its home is at Dwight, in
Illinois, and one strong reason for its finding its way
from John Bull's proverbial

into this country, apart


gullibility, is that it

has been, to use an Americanism,

pretty nearly "bust up " in the United States.

Many

may have

our readers

of

noticed in small

shops in country districts base coins securely fixed to

way of reminding any utterer of


money who may enter the place that the

the counter, by
dishonest

tradesman
Following

on his guard against trickery and fraud.

is

this example,

we

will just drive a nail into

one

lie

An

eminent analyst, who has examined

this prepara-

tion, reports that it contains neither gold

nor chlorides,

concerning the bichloride of gold treatment.

but that

its

per cent.
lime-salts

composition

is

as follows

sugar, 6 per cent.

and 25*55 per

Water, 61*31

a small quantity of

cent, of Alcohol.

Neither

118
nor chlorides of any metal

gold,

startling revelation,

diction

Sir

of

would dare

to attempt a contra-

Thomas Browne's

applied in this instance,

"Men

WIlo, after this

dictum,

practically

often swallow falsities

for truths.

But, though the poor dupes of the American Brass


curers

drunkenness

of

(ahvays

hereditary,

be

it

remembered, according to their veracious statements)


get no gold in their physic bottles

which were analysed was nine

for those
for

two

the price charged

bottles, the lowest

could be supplied with

dollars (36s.)

number which

they

get,

a purchaser

instead

of

the

expected gold, a wholly unexpected ingredient, in the

form

of alcohol, to the extraordinary extent, consider-

ing what the medicine

more than one-fourth


thus making

and equal
If,

it

is

given

for,

of considerably

of the entire quantity of fluid

double to the strength of champagne^

to that of port or sherry.

however, the patient gets no gold, the same

cannot be said of the conductors of the Institute.

In

gentleman who wrote,

the

reply to

asking

for

terms upon which the cure would be supplied, the

Mr. Gerard D. Apthorp, informed him by

secretary,

an

ofiicially

written letter that the charge was fifteen

guineas for three weeks, with five guineas for each


additional week.

Fifteen guineas were,

really,

the

lowest amount that could be accepted for such a priceless

boon

and the continuance of the treatment after

three weeks, at the modest figure of five guineas for

119
every seven days, would be dependent on the judg-

ment

of the doctor

subject,

doubtless,

extent to the question whether the patient,


little

three weeks'

course,

had any more


"

indispensable in his pocket.

medicines, as

we

We

having

alcohol in the

former

the

of

do not send out

find that to be successful, '^ the secre-

tary somewhat vaguely wrote,


to

much

gold and so

swallowed so

some

also to

the Institute "

where

''

patients

they have to

must come
submit

to

periodical hypodermic injections of narcotic poisons,

in addition to quafiing their golden grog.

At

London Society for the Study


of Inebriety, presided over by Dr. Norman Kerr, who
has done much to expose the Gold Cure humbug, the
a meeting of the

chairman said that an attempt, fortunately frustrated,

had been made

to float a syndicate to raise

150,000

in this country to purchase the right of using the

Cure

being

110,000 in hard cash and 40,000 in


all

the proposing vendors asked

paralleled

philanthropy

ought

not

Gold

shares,

Such un-

surely

to

pass

unnoticed.

Some

of the rules of the Institute are too interest-

ing to escape notice,


lines.

The

first

too,

two rules

observe, to fees and


delicately requested

we read between the


refer, as we need scarcely
if

prompt payment, patients being


''

to

arrange

all financial

with the Secretary-Treasurer on their

Rule 4 lays down that "


use is compounded to meet

arrival.

matters

''

the remedy for internal


individual needs

'^

can

120

have reference

this

alcohol

could understand that

be in brisk requisition

what

proportion

relative

and loaning or exchanging

^'

We

mitted."

the

to

they are

what gentleman

Rule 5 there

not perloaning " would

'^

is

the bottles actually contained

if

presumed

to

contain

gold

but

or lady, except a drunkard, hereditary

or otherwise, would

a bottle of liquor

of

dream

of

*^

loaning or exchanging"

?
is

with, save that

little to find fault

does not go far enough.

**

Bathing

is

essential,

it

and

required to bathe at least twice each

patients

are

week."

Drunkards are commonly more

chary

of

using soap and water externally than they are of


using brandy or whisky and water internally
there

was

is

in

as

much need

the subject

of

so that

of advice of this kind as there

the following anecdote.

particularly dirtj^-looking individual, dirty

enough

A
to

have been a hermit had he lived centuries ago, presented himself at the consulting rooms of a
physician, to

cutaneous

West End

seek advice concerning a troublesome

eruption,

entirely

due

to

his

uncleanly

The physician, after a little preliminary conversation, commenced to advise the patient, who, of
course, was all attention.
I should recommend you
habits.

''

to get forty gallons of boiling hot w^ater into

room when you go home, and


tub

your bed-

to place it in a large

next, having divested yourself of your clothes, to

immerse your body in the hot water


piece of soap in your hands, to rub

it

then, taking a

well until you

121
liave

formed a good

proceed to apply

lather, whicli

all

the aid of hot water.

you should carefully

over your body, removing

by

it

Afterwards you should rub the

surface of your body with a dry rough towel/

''
^

It

seems to me.'^ grunted the indignant patient, scarcely


able

to

telling

his

restrain

me

to

rising

'*

passion,

have a bath/'

''

that you are

It does appear like it,"

blandly observed the physician, as he swept the fee

with a clinking sound from the table into a small


drawer,

''

and by the bye, I would recommend you to

persevere wdth the prescription."

Rule 7 reads

had reference

as if it

contained in the

golden solution

''
:

to the alcohol

The physicians

earnestly entreat patients to avoid saloons and bar-

and

rooms,
office."

to

Why,

use

only what

certainly

If a

is

prescribed at the

man

could not content

himself with a potion as strong as port or sherry,

and twice

as powerful as

champagne, he would be a

most unreasonable individual.

At

the meeting of the Society to which

we have

already referred. Dr. Usher, of Melbourne, Australia,


described a visit he had
Institute at

Dwight.

who was very uneasy

The

made

to

the

Gold

Cure

proj)rietor, **Dr." Keeley,

while conversing Avith him, told

him he had employed ''the remedy" twelve years


with great success.
To Dr. Usher's very natural
questions as to the treatment and what prescriptions
he used, Keeley replied, ''We will not go into that;
I know it is all right.
If you want to learn anytliing

122
about

it,

the secretary -chemist will

tell

you."

This

secretary- chemist turned out to be a sort of page-boy.

Dr. Usher was introduced to Dr. Blaine,


the staff "
chief

he did not

the

of

staff

tell

was

"

*^

his audience

the chief of

what

''

the

but our readers can

like,

perhaps arrive at a fairly accurate conclusion when


we mention that " the staff consisted of unsuccessful
Dr. Usher was

practitioners.''

men were

rows of
five

being injected in the

drops each, out of a

ing

pinkish

wore

patients

taken where

solution

little

three

arm with

left

porcelain bowl contain-

atropine.

Many

of

the

and they told him that they

glasses,

could not see three or four days after the commence-

ment

of

the course

They

almost blind.

One

patient

to

from giddiness.

at the institution nine weeks,

days before had got drunk and had

So much for the permanence of the

come back.
!

too,

and had become

to leave because three of his "pals''

left ten

Gold Cure

treatment,

suffered,

had been

and was afraid

who had

of

Another

patient,

who

really

some respects more intelligent than the

seemed in

rest,

candidly

imparted the imformation that an aunt had promised

him an annuity
so that

if

he stayed there two or three months,

he " wanted

Incidentally, Dr.

the

manufacture

physicians from

to see the

time out."

Usher throws an amusing light on


of

New

testimonials.

Three

leading

York, Boston, and Philadelphia,

representing three different societies in those

cities,

123

had

remaining

visited ttie Institute, at various times,

half a

day or

so.

(the sly rascal

!)

Some
issued a

six

weeks afterwards, Keeley

number

of circulars

which

set

forth these three gentlemen as remarkable instances of


successful cure.

Gold Cure

members a

One

Institutes

of the special features of the


is

that they have amongst the

Bichloride of Gold Club,'' including two


classes termed, respectively, '' graduates " and " undergraduates."

^'

Could anything beat

this as a

specimen

of exquisite fooling ?

England

It is too often the practice in

to severely

punish small offenders, while great ones go scot-free.

In the daily paper from which the advertisement of


the Gold Cure Institute was taken,
court report of a miserable old

prison for trying to pass

payment

read a police-

man who was

counterfeit

for a scrap of bacon.

instead of resorting to

we

sent to

shilling

Decrepit dolt

what may be termed the

in
If,

silver

cure for starvation, and tendering a coin deficient in

value by only a few pence, he had hired apartments in a


fashionable

quarter

alcohol, water,

have

'^

and passed

and sugar

compound

as containing gold,

gone the whole hog

of bacon,

off

''

of

he might

in place of a beggarly bit

and have made thousands upon thousands of

golden sovereigns in a few months.

Who
who

is

is

to

responsible for the inaction of the police,

blame for the inertness of the medical

corporate bodies, in such gross instances of quackery

124

and imposture

as

to expose, in the

we have

exposed, and shall continue

columns of Health

END OF VOLUME

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The frequency and impunity with which the Food and Drugs Adulteration Acts,
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dishonest traders, the apathy or helplessness of consumers, or the inadequate
]^uni8hment dealt out to offenders in the majority of cases where offences against
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Extracts from Private Letters.


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TO QUACK OF UNIVERSAL CURES."-Huoibra8.

Exposures of Quackery

BEING A SERIES OF ARTICLES UPON, AND

ANALYSES

OF,

NUMEROUS PATENT MEDICINES.

BY THE
Editor of

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IN

EXPOSURES OF QUACKERY.
VOL.

Exposures of Quackery.
The following are a few of the hundreds of favourable
Press Notices which have appeared.

"A

The Times says


cordial recogDition is due to the
great public services rendered by the republication of these
:

articles."

The British Medical Journal says: <^We hope


that all our readers will make it their business to acquaint

themselves with these exposures."

The Medical Press says '' We hope that the good


sown broadcast by this courageous
:

seed of knowledge

editor will fructify to

some future purpose

in the

minds

oi

the community."

The Provincial Medical Journal says :^ 'Every


man should make himself acquainted with these
ai-ticles on patent medicines, and make them generally
known also amongst his patients."

medical

The

Saturday Review

says:
'*The editor has
issued a series of articles exposing the pretensions of popular
patent medicines. He has furnished thinking people with
weighty reasons."

Public Opinion

says

A perusal
*^

of these articles

by our able contemporary is at once interesting and instructive, as all the well-known patent medicines are criticised
in its pages.

In two

The

vols.y 2s.

articles are brightly written.''

To

he

hud

direct

irom

the

Savoy Press, Ltd.

115, Strand^ London^ post free for

'For Contents

of Vol. 1, see the

2s. 3d^

page facing Preface.]

TO QUACK OF UNIVERSAL CURES. "-Hudibras.

Exposures of Quackery:
BEING A SERIES OF ARTICLES UPON, AND

ANALYSES

OF,

NUMEROUS PATENT MEDICINES.

BY THE
Editor of

**

Health News.''

V01L.U1VIE: II.

LONDON
rHE SAVOY PRESS, LTD.. SAVOY HOUSE,
PRICE

ONE

115,

SHILLING.

(COFYEIGET.)

STRAND. W.O.

CONTENTS OF VOL.

Chap.

1.

Mattei's

''

Mixture.

Stamp "

Chap.

Patent Medicines

Law

Patent Medicine

Electricities." Chap.

Chap.

I.

Blood

Clarke's

2.

" Protected

by Government
Chlorodyne, and other Opiates and Anodynes.

4.

3.

Revalenta Arabica.

of Patent Medicines

and

Mixture,

Oil.

Chap.

5.

The History

The Sequah ^' Prairie Flower '^


Chap. 6. HoUoway's Pills and

Ointment Sequah " Prairie Flower " Mixture


;

concerning Clarke's Blood Mixture.

from the Waste Paper Basket


cerning

HoUoway and

World's

Hair

Saved

7.

Correspondence con-

Mattel.

Restorer;

Chap.

Letter

Chap.

Mexican

Singleton's Grolden Ointment for the

Renewer;

Hair

Eyes

AUen'a

8.

Rowland's

Kalydor, and Gowland's Lotion for the Skin;

Ruppert's Skin Tonic

More about

gel's

Syrup.

Chap.

10. Clarke's

Chap.

Mattel.

Quack Advertisements and Testimonials

Anna

Mother

Blood Mixture

9.

Sei-

The

Alleged Testimonial from the late Dr. Swaine Taylor,


F.R.S.

The Obverse and the Reverse.

Quack Testimonials
Seigel's

Syrup.

Chap.
;

Mother

Pills.

Chap.

Clarke's Blood Mixture

Chap.

12.

Beecham's

11.

The Alofas Safe Remedies, and the School of Safe


Medicine.
Chap. 14. The Ignorance of Quacks The
Blindness of their Dupes. Chap. 15. The Gold Cure
13.

for Drunkenness.

n.

wt.

v-

,'

r*"'-

PREFACE TO VOLUME
The first of all

'*

gospels

for

The

large

demand

Carlyle.

whicli has followed the publication

volume of Exposures of Quackery

of the

first

itself,

fairly

good proof that the

appeared under that

News

that a Lie cannot endure

is tJiis^

ever,''

II.

title

articles

is,

of

which have

in the columns of

Health

have obtained an appreciative reception.

But we look beyond

this for evidence that

done public service in the

efforts to

we have

accomplish a task

which had never before been attempted,

viz.

the

pro-

duction of a systematic series of reports upon, and


analyses

the largely advertised patent medicines.

of, all

There were plenty of reasons


undertaken

seeing the

it,

why we

amount

should not have

of time, trouble,

expense involved, and the bitter hostility that

it

and

would

arouse in certain quarters, through the dread of diminution of ill-gotten gains.

ought not

to allow ourselves to

considerations

and

it

We felt,

however, that

be deterred by any such

we had put our hand

to the plough,

would have been an act of moral cowardice,

have turned back.


trary, obstacles

Rather,

we

we thought, on

to

the con-

and opposition should determine us

to

persevere in what has been termed by a leading con-

temporary,

" a vigorous crusade against

quackery."

" Quixotic/' was the remark of more than one candid


critic

mind

to

gospels

we

We called

but we did not quite take this view.

Carlyle's emphatic words,

is this,

were

"The

first

of all

that a Lie cannot endure for ever," and

convinced

nothing

that

exists

which

to

more appropriately applied

his short definition could be

than to quackery.
It

is

the meanest, the cruellest, the most objectionable,

and the most dangerous form


suffering,

invalids

mate

Protracted

of robbery.

tormenting disease, distressing anxiety to

and their

loss of life,

ful drugs, or

and other

relatives

friends,

even

ulti-

through wrongly administered power-

through delay in seeking proper, skilled

medical treatment,

such

The highwayman

no weight with the quack.


gone times presented a
explicit intimation, "

have

serious matters as these

of by-

with the
Your money, or your life " but,
pistol at his victims,

having possessed himself of the former, he rode away,


leaving the robbed individuals unhurt.

quack utters no warning

if

be " Your money and your

it

did, it

would very often

life," so utterly callous is

as to consequences, provided

Is

he

The modern
he

he can gratify his greed.

not worth while, therefore, to endeavour to check

a system of plunder, of fraud, of injury to health?

There cannot be
warrant

We

its

anything

about

such

task

to

being characterised as Quixotic.

have, indeed, full reason to

efforts for the repression of

believe

that our

quackery have already pro-

duced good

results.

In

we have

fact,

conclusive, evidence of this fact


likely to

liad indirect, yet

from the people most

know, namely, the quacks themselves.

They,

have attacked us with abusive letters,-^somewhat singularly,

always anonymous,-they have threatened us

with actions for


with tempting

As
tary,

libel,

and they have

tried to cajole us

offers to

fill

our advertisement pages.

to abusive letters,

we

accept

them

coming from such a quarter, and

Jackdaw

of

as

complimen-

like the

famous

Rheims, in the Ingoldshy Legends, we have

been " not a penny the worse "through their display of


temper, except when, in their impotent rage, the writers

have omitted

to affix postage

stamps to their communi-

cations.

With regard

to their threats

of legal

action,

the

amusing but pusillanimous character, Bob Acres in


Sheridan's Rivak, was a paragon of pluck compared

with them.

Their conduct,

when

a legal battle seemed

imminent, reminded us of the " hearts of hare '* in Sir


Walter Scott's poem for their courage " oozed away **
;

faster even

than blustering Bob's in Sheridan's play,

directly they found that


tiate

we were prepared

to substan-

the correctness of our statements, and that the

analysts were equally ready to stand by their reports.

We

did think not long since, that a certain patent medicine


proprietor would have the hardihood to go on,

would have pleased us better than

to

^nothing

have had an

opportunity of exposing his pretensions in Court,

we happened,

but

in our reply to his solicitors, to quote the

following

extract

ming-up in a

trial

from Mr. Justice Mathew's

sum-

concerned '*A

where a quack was

sharp, pungent, and unpleasant criticism does not con-

long as

stitute a libel, so

promised writ
Office,

has

it is

not

yet reached

and does not appear ever

With regard

Health News

likely to arrive there.

to repeated offers of liberal

for the insertion of

their

The

honestly written. '^

announcements,

payment

three

or

four times more than the usual rates charged by our publisher,

they became

we deemed

it

advertisements
position

may

so frequent

and pertinacious that

expedient to put the notice,

" Quack

rigorously excluded," in a prominent

on the front page of Health

here, in passing, to a particularly

refer

We

Nevv^s.

paltry

piece of revenge on the part of some patent medicine

men.

Finding that their abuse, their

threats,

and

proffered bribes, failed to produce the desired

their

effect,

they tried to bring their enormous influence, as very


large advertisers, to bear on

urging these

to secretly boycott

advertising

Health News, and

doing advertising through these agents.


exceedingly
thing,

difficult to

to our

course,

it is

proofs of

its

existence have

knowledge.

will turn to a

outcome of our Exposures.


letters

Of

obtain evidence of this sort of

yet some curious

But we
ing

to

recommending our journal amongst other firms

cease

come

by

agents,

more agreeable aspect

We are

from correspondents

of the

constantly receiv-

of all classes of society,

resident in Great Britain, or abroad, expressing their

9
cordial thanks for the denunciation of the imposture of

quack nostrums.

Many

of these communications are

from people who formerly, misled by

false assertions of

miraculous heaKng properties, pinned their faith on


this

position

and education who have had exceptional oppor-

tunities of

to

Others are from persons of

or that nostrum.

judging the immense amount of injury done

the community by patent medicines.

would

It

occupy a volume larger than the present one, were we


to print all this correspondence,

and we must therefore

content ourselves with quoting only a single

Warwickshire rector writes


parish

is

to say that,

thinly populated, he has

course,

by very poor

although his

known numerous

stances of quack medicines being used,

in-

"in vain, of

people, utterly unable to afford to

be swindled in such a

way

and I have no doubt that

every clergyman throughout the country could


similar tale.

letter.

I feel that

we

all

tell

owe you many thanks

for so fearlessly denouncing the imposture of quackery,

and I

am

efforts.''

Our

pressing the
*'

much good must come from your

sure that

clerical

belief

correspondent concludes by ex-

that the reprints of our

articles

will help to stop the widely spread practice of

medicine drugging, responsible for

We should be wanting in

many

gratitude

if

quack

deaths.''

we omitted

to

acknowledge the unstinted approbation and


encouragement of many high-class newspapers, amongst

heartily

them the

Times,

Saturday Revieiv,

British

Medical

Journal, Medical Press, Whitehall Review, Public Opinion,

10

and the Provincial Medical Journal ; and we regret that

we can
of

give space neither for extracts, nor even a

their

names.

"A
follows:
public

The

Times'^

notice

cordial recognition is

service

commences

due

as

to the great

rendered by the republication of the

papers contributed to our contemporary by

Such

list

flattering praise gives us

its

editor.'^

encouragement and

creased energy to continue our work.

in-

We now present

a second volume to our readers, and additional articles


will appear

from time

to time in future

Health News.

Health News

Offices,

Savoy House,

115, Strand, Londori

W.C.

numbers of

CONTENTS OF VOL.

II.

PAGE

Preface

Chapter I. Pink PiUs


^^

.,.

for Pale People

Chapter II. Warner's "Safe Cure

Chapter

Quack

III.

13

22

''

''

Advertising;

Clarke's

Blood Mixture, and the Bogus Testimonial

from the

late Dr.

Swaine Taylor, F.R.S.

33

Chapter IV.Anonymous Abuse Warner's Safe


Cure, and Medical Staff A Quack Libel Case
;

Horison's Pills

and Lee's

gill's,

Chapter V.
tricities

Pills

Belts;

Mattel's

....
Jacob's

Oil

Our Correspondents

Silverton's

33

"Elec-

46

Mother SeigeFs

Mattel's " Electricities "

Chapter VIL

Nicholson's Patent Artificial Ear

VL St.

Syrup

Dixon's, Fother-

Baillie's,

Electric

"

Drums
Chapter

and

62

Critics

Remedies for Deaf ness Unqualified

Practitioners; *^A

Merciful Medicine, more

Precious than Rubies "

Sg

12

Chapter VIII. Patent Medicines and Pious


Language the Reverend Specialist " Congreve's Balsamic Elixir
Owbridge's Lung
**

Tonic

Lane's

Certificate

Chapter IX.
Chapter X.
Song
.

Chapter

Cure

Catarrh
.

Bone-setting;

A
.

XL Quack

Quack's

Way

Curious

Chapter XIII.

Quack

Bubble Burst
for India

81

Electric Snuff

88

93

Electricities in Court;
.

106

Medicine Testimonials

" Still Shuffling

the

Eno's

Ill

121

Newspapers; The Sequah

Translation of " Exposures

Handyside's Con-

Chapter XI V.'^ Handy

67

How

Clarke's Blood Mixture

gave himself a Testimonial

Fruit Salt

Chapter XV.

Exposing Quackery

Patent

Jacob's Oil

Man who

of

'*

Patent Medicine

Bogus Newspapers

Mattel's

Chapter XIL

sumption and Cancer Cure

St.

Stepney Green Diplomas

the Poor are Swindled

Chapter XVI.^Fenning's Fever Curer

'^

130

134

Chapter

I.

"Pink Pills for Pale People."


" Some

to the fascination of a name


Surrender judgment, hoodwinkedJ*^

*'

COWPER.

"Words, words, mere words/' as Shakespeare writes

in Troilus and Cressida

catchpenny

Of course the

evident purpose.

some people thinking of paragons,


but we unhesitatingly assert

alliteration for
letter

and

pearls,

having

P may

an
set

so forth

regard to the

cheap composition of the nostrum, the absurd claims of


absolutely impossible remedial properties, and the

in which these pills

that we

brought before the public

are

instinctively call to

pence, profit, and pickings

mind

" pence

that
'^

P commences

representing the

small cost of manufacture, while ^^profif and

ings"
puffing

supply us

way

with an explanation of

*^

pick-

all

this

and pother about one of the commonest of

drugs, as

we

shall presently

show beyond

Pills for Pale

People" are

all

power of

contradiction.

The "Pink
Dr. Williams'

Pills,

styled

and in a pamphlet which accom-

panied our purchase

buy such things

also

we

hasten to explain that

we

for analysis, not for individual use,

14
otherwise our series of articles might come to an abrupt
conclusion

this

mythical person

is

^'

described as

an

eminent graduate of McGill Medical College, Montreal,

and Edinburgh University, Scotland/'


Williams

is

proprietors of

by no means a rare name, so that the


the pills might have given his Christian

one, in order to enable us to

man.

At

hausted
trace

present

all

him

College, or

we can

means
in

know more

only say that

we have

ex-

df research without being able to

graduation

the

lists

Edinburgh University.

fullest reason to

of this great

McGrill

of either

So

we have the

far,

doubt the accuracy of the description of

him by the pamphlet- writer for the Dr. Williams'


Medicine Company and our doubt ripens into positive
scepticism when we read on the same page that the
" Pink Pills for Pale People '' are not a patent medicine,
;

but are " a thoroughly

scientific preparation,

of years of careful study

the result

on the part of the eminent,'' &c.

That they are a patent medicine, we very positively


assert,

and as a matter of fact they are sold with a

patent medicine stamp attached to each box.

most unhesitatingly
degree

entitled

assert, too, is that

to

What we do

they are not in any

be described as a

^^

thoroughly

scientific preparation," or as " the only perfect remedy

ever discovered," as alleged in the pamphlet.


it

We find

also necessary, in the interests of truth, to

the absolute falsity

of

the

statement

made

expose
a

little

further on, that " they supply in a condensed form, the


substances

actually

needed to enrich the blood and

15
restore the nerves."

Bosh

utter bosh

as

we

shall

when we have done with the

presently demonstrate,

pamphlet.

In order

a degree of importance,

made on oath

it

may know

Mayor

" In

that every

of

London,

word

in the remarkable
is

the whole truth, and nothing but the truth,


the following sworn declaration

Honourable the Lord Mayor of

mony,

all

we

present

made before the Eight


London at the Mansion

In face of the sworn

Pink

Pills

must be

read the evidence, and,

disease arising
profit

the truth,

testi,

doubt as to the marvellous curative properties

of Dr. Williams'
fully

intro-

order that the British

narratives presented in the following pages

House, April 15th, 1893.

with

opens with a declaration

before the Lord

duced by these words


public

production

invest this singular

to

by the

if

dispelled.

suffering

Care-

from any

from bad blood or shattered nerves-

lesson

it

contains/*

by the business manag&i" of the


Williams' Medicine Company, as well as the declaration,
This

is

signed

a very ordinary kind of document, alleging that, to the


fullest

of

his

knowledge and

belief,

the statements,

names, and addresses printed in the pamphlet are true.

In accordance with the Statutory Declarations Act,


1835, anyone can go before a magistrate, or a com-

missioner for oaths, and

make

a similar declaration,

the whole matter occupying a few seconds, and involv-

ing an outlay of a few sixpences.

For

instance, suppose

16
a man writes a pamplilet to prove that the earth

not round, there

is flat

and

man

go-

nothing to prevent another

is

ing before the Lord Mayor or any other magistrate, and

making a solemn
fullest of the

ments are
ly

it

**

declaration to the

knowledge and

belief of

eflEect

No.

2,

that to the

No.

I's state-

absolutely and positively true.'^ Consequent-

will be

seen that, to any rational individual, a

thousand such declarations as that made by the Williams'

Medicine Company's manager would be utterly useless for


the purpose of proving the truthfulness of the reckless
assertions as

the Pink

to the

marvellous curative properties of

On

the other hand, any rational indi-

Pills.

vidual would regard a person so closely concerned, as

the business manager must be, in the sale of this patent


medicine, as the last individual
to

assert

who

should come forward

the value of a nostrum in which he was

pecuniarily interested.

As for Williams' Pink Pills, the Lord Mayor of


London knows no more about them, actually, than the
doorkeeper of the police-court at the Mansion House,

where

his

Lordship

sits

for the transaction of public

business (including the taking of declarations), or than

But it sounds grand to


make a declaration before the Lord Mayor of London,
and goes down with the unwary or the ignorant as
the constable on duty outside.

something very important and impressive, and patent


medicine
of

men

are not

handy methods

enable

them

of

slow in availing

themselves

cheap showy advertisement to

to catch the coin of the multitude.

17

We

have taken some trouble

through

to look

this

pamphlet, written in a clap- trap style throughout, for


the alleged purpose of presenting to the British Public
" the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth

about the Pink Pills


right to say that the

Knill (who

filled

of

its

which pamphlet

Lord Mayor

name

a line, though his

here and there in

is

it

is

''

only

London never read

of

flaunted in the cover, and

pages, as carefully as

the position of

Mayor

if

Sir Stuart

in 1893,)

had

himself vouched for the accuracy of every word of the

gaudy

The
AVilliam's Medicine Company's business manager is
evidently as destitute of humour as the pills are of the
otherwise, seeing
properties falsely attributed to them
contents, highly coloured like its

cover.

the object of his declaration, he would have timed

it

fortnight earlier, so as to fall on the 1st of April.

The perplexity attending our search for the name of


Dr. Williams, inventor of the Pink Pills, in any
graduation list of Edinburgh University, or of McGill
College, Montreal, still pursues us when we come to the
bewildering list of diseases which the business manager
of William's Medicine Company parades before his
readers.

business
is

It

goes

almost without

manager claims

interested in, that

paralysis, old age,

assertions

it

tells us, for

the

the patent medicine he

will cure fevers, consumption,

and other alarming human

come naturally

Beecham

for

saying that

in a

ills

sucL

quack medicine pamphlet.

instance in his trade circulars,

that his pills will search out and remove all kinds of

18

power

that point his inventive

iescribe in
'*

But

"as sure as water quenclies tHrst/'*

disease,

him

fails

bad English and worse

at

he can only
remarkable

spelling,

seed^ or symtoris of direful diseases, like hitching of the

The Williams' Company business


manager can give him points, for he enumerates in the
list of diseases which Pink Pills search out and inor head/'

breast

some which have never yet found a place

fallibly cure,

books, namely, "lack of ambition"

in medical

" shallow complexion."

new Barnum
disease

a chance offers for some

to exhibit a sufferer

He

What

must, however,

and

from

this last-named

in the words of Mrs.

Glasse's famous cookery book, "first catch his hare,"

and

if

he searches only amongst patent medicine men

he will never succeed in obtaining a specimen, for they


are too deep to suffer from " shallow complexions."

The pamphlet
Pills

tells

everything that
while

their sale

us everything about the Pink


is

but,

pills

name and

concealing the lull

address of their alleged inventor,

composition of the

promote

to say, calculated to

it

also conceals the

or rather, which

is

worse,

it

many

completely untrue statements. As to


their being the " only scientific and rational and only
gives very

perfect remedy, ever discovered,"

the

common

notice of such

by appearing

London

is

of our readers

sense

will not insult

by taking further

made more glaring


pamphlet which the Lord Mayor of

obvious falsehoods

in a

asserted

* Seo

we

to

have

allowed to be

ExPOSUEES OF QUACKEEY, Vol.

I.,

page

96.

placed

19

on

record

as

being

'^the

the

truth,

Where

and nothing but the truth."

whole

truth,

could the business

manager have learned the physiological fiction contained


in the assertion that the Pink Pills " supply, in a condensed form, the substances actually needed to enrich the
blood and restore the nerves
this nonsense

Did Williams

''

is

be accounted

moment,

and that

for,

how Williams
though we don't,
is,

believe that he ever did

eminent graduate
ing,

him

a far greater miracle than the

ever qualified himself to become


for a

tell

when selling his wonderful secret to th


If we may gauge Williams^ knowledge

company ?
by this sample, there
pills to

''

become

" an

of that old-established seat of learn-

Such

Edinburgh University.

assertions ''won^t

wash," any more than the piHs themselves, which soon


loose their pretty

We

pink colour when placed in water.

defy anyone

to

livin^g

produce a

treatise

on

physiology which mentions the component parts of these


pills

amongst " substances actually needed

blood and restore the nerves."

readers

what these component matters

to ask

neither the
of the

Our

Lord Mayor

Mansion House

of

are.

fall

may

begin

Well,

as

London, nor the door-keeper

police-court, nor even the outside

constable are here to give us information,

we must

to enrich the

back upon a more

if

reliable

they could,
source,

and

invoke analytical assistance.

Mr. George Selkirk Jones, an analyst of many years'


standing, and author of the Chemical

examined them for our journal.


report

Vade-meaim has

We

append

his

20

"Pink Pills for Pale People."


have

**I

now made

a careful analysis of these

lind their composition to be as follows


**

Extract of Barbadoes Aloes

pills,

and

enclosed in a thin coating of

Sugar, coloured pink with Carmine.


**

Seeing that these

pills are said to

used in America for the cure of a

and

given-up

also of rheumatism, fev^^, &c., I

them

for other drugs, but

mentioned,

Aloes.

viz.,

case of paralysis

'

have carefully examined

have discovered none other than that

If

whether these

practitioner)

have been successfully

asked for

my

pills are

capable of doing what

opinion (as a medical

stated of them, upon oath, I should answer emphatically,


certainly not.*

Our

old acquaintance,

kind of

aloes, too,

again, Aloes,

and

universal

the

common-

cattle physic, according

This vulgar form of a very

to veterinary authorities.

common drug

the

namely, the Barbadoes species, the

best suited for horse balls

tlie

the sole medicinal agent upon which

is

mysterious Williams bases his claim to rank as a

Why,

loading scientist and a great discoverer.

would dispute

his patent medicine brethren


sions.

Mother

Beecham
aloes,

one

though

Seigel, the

and

venomous

all

this drug,

patent medicine

since

that

assert

his preten-

they discovered

was known centuries before

men had any more

aloes

even

Indian Sequah, HoUoway,

Good

reptiles in Iceland.

Perhaps,

will

on the other ingredients.

''

He

than

existence
old times

cure

not

paralysis, fevers, &c., Williams,

rely

is

No,

'*

sheet-anchor of patent medicine makers


est

'

consumption,

the eminent,"

may

welcome

any

is

to

21
small comfort

may

lie

derive from

them

the sugar to

sweeten his chagrin at the exposure of his pretensions,


or the carmine with which they are coloured to hide

We

his blushes.

much

as

doubt, however, a patent

medicine man's ability to blush as

power of
there

this

is

nostrum

very

we do

the alleged

perform miracles and further,

to

strong

evidence

internal

that

the

''eminent

Williams

fiction as the

"eminent'' Ally Sloper, of comic news-

paper fame, or Mrs.

is

as

Cramp's

thorough a creation of

never

friend,

visible

8airey Harris.

We

chanced to see

month

in

last April,

Williams'

the

(this is a favourite

Calendar,

apparently), the

following remarks, carefully worked into a column of

a religious paper, as

if it

were a piece of news

"

Medical Frauds. Caution.


be meaner than foisting upon a
less substitute for

No
sick

imposition can

man

a worth-

the medicines that will restore

him

to

health."

All

of our readers will readily coincide with

opinion here expressed, but they will be

when they

the

much astonished

learn that this quotation serves as a mere

" draw " to induce people to peruse a mendacious ad-

vertisement of

**

Pink

Pills for Pale People."

not look further than these

pills for

We need

an object-lesson on

the meanness of foisting worthless quack medicines on

unfortunate

sufferers.

We

admit, that for once, the

author of the Williams' pufiing literature has so far forgotten his vocation as to speak the truth.

Chapter II

Warner's Safe Cure.

**

The

Villainous saltpetre,'"

Shakespeare.

Saturday Review, in a very long and eulogistic

comments

article,

upon

our

exposures

popular

of

patent remedies.

" The method of exposure employed/' says our excellent

contemporary,

*'

has been simple

nostrum has been submitted

and
of

yet drastic.

'

The

to analytical examination,

in each case has been discovered to be a preparation

well-known ingredients, tceU-knowm not


claimed by

properties

compositions.
Purifier

public

'

Famous Blood

Clarke's

hydrate,

potassium

and coloured

combination that

permanent

cure

restraint

advertisements
therefore,

Mr.

secret

Mixture or
Stokes,

the

iodide of potassium, chloric ether,

analyst, of

for this

vendors for their

for instance, consists, says

'

decent

the

to possess the

for

scrofula

not

is

To

claim

a never-failing

is

noticeable

little

made by the

it

water.

to

in

extravagant.

put

Mr.

The

and

with a

it

Clarke's
assertion

proprietors of the Blood Purifier,

apparently without fear of contradiction, that that medicine

is

the only cure for consumption, diabetes, dropsy^

deafness,

and

paral3^sis, is

an over- bold one.

'

Mother

23
SeigeFs
*

Syrup/

Hollo way's Pills

severally
so their

make

Sequah's

Flower/

Prairie

and

can jointly cure everything and can

'

a good job of most things (at any rate

But

manufacturers unhesitatingly suggest).

has reported on them, and for the future

the analyst

in unimaginative

minds they can only be credited with

The

the virtues of their one active ingredient, Aloes.

triumph of the editor of Health

News

has been com-

plete.''

The Saturday Review goes on


and

fall of

way

quack remedies, and the

of attempting

'*

to

upon the

rise

difficulties in

the

to descant

make laws

the effective

for

" Quacks

protection of the pockets of the gullible."

have been, and quacks will be, and there will always be
a public ready to heed them, and

happy

observes the Saturday Review,

Admitted," we reply

but our argument


sake

the

of

200,000 or

is

*^

to

pay them,"
;

that the British Government, for

obtaining an annual addition of


so to the national income,

by the

some

issue of

patent medicine stamps, tolerates and even endorses

quackery; for many, and especially ignorant, people


not always of the lower classes

are

foolishly deluded

by the Government Stamp and the word

**

Patent " into

a belief that they convey a sort of guarantee of quality.

As

to laws for protecting the gullible, the

unwary, and

the ignorant, such laws exist in connection with every


other

mode

of imposture.

legislation be needed.

of coffee, to

legal

If

Nor would any

elaborate

an individual buys a pound

which chicory has been added, he has

his

remedy under the Adulteration Act, unless the

.24
upon

dealer lias previously placed

packet a legibly

tlie

printed label showing that the contents are not pure


coffee,

but coffee and chicory mixed.

In the same way,

instead of shrouding a quack medicine in mystery

Omne ignotum p^o

magnifico

and

it

people

ing

an

short

lending

stamp,

official

Act

of

the theory of

is

value by affix-

a fictitious

the

let

Parliament,

many

Government pass a

similar

the legislation

to

which prevails in various Continental countries, requiring the contents of every bottle, box, or packet of quack

medicine to bear a label stating

its

real composition.

People are getting more educated than they used to be,

and education

is

Would any man

the deadliest foe quackery can have.


or

woman

very moderate education,

if

of sound

mind and even

he or she learned from the

printed label on a patent medicine, that

it

consisted of

water, aloes, and carbonate of soda, with a few drops of

the tinctures of capsicum and myrrh,* be likely to give

credence for one

moment

to the preposterous assertion

compounded " (we copy this


statement verbatim from the prospectus accompanying a

of its vendors that " thus

bottle of Sequah's stuff, sold at the rate of a shilling

an ounce, (seven-eighths being water, and the other


ingredients
*'

the commonest and

Prairie Flower "

best

is

cheapest of

drugs)

undoubtedly far and away the

remedy ever introduced

for all sorts of complaints

and other Chronic Diseases."


singularly worded extract are,

The capitals in
we need scarcely

this

say,

Flower Mixture, in Exposures of


QuACKEEY, Vol. I., Page 40.

* See analysis of Sequah's Prairie

25
not our own, but those of the compiler of the prospectus

who

anyone
to

tells

when

acted on the vidgar rule that

evidently

lie

he should

a big one, and stick

tell

it.

There was
discoverer
people,

and

for

American quack

an

once

inventor

they

quacks

invariably

own

according to their

around, but settled

and

discover

that

claimed

for

and we

fear that our readers will accuse us of the one,

charge us with not doing the other, unless

we

That

is

what

its

and

forthwith

say something about Warner's " Safe Cure."

Cure," indeed

it

didn't " go fooling

it

steadily to business "

down

invent,

things which have

version,

qualities

remarkable

are

been known ever since the world began


the meritorious

whose

pill,

'^

Safe

inventor and dis-

coverer would probably, in his Trans-Atlantic vernacular, call '^a tall

from anybody

order,"

else.

if

the nomenclature emanated

Still, it is

not absolutely original

years ago there flourished a music-hall celebrity, one

Mr. Stead
that

we hasten

name who

watery

We

into

white,

not the gentleman of

fame

and

red,

as the

^'

During a recent

green

we

illness, as at

^'

who

Safe Cure for

will give particu-

other times, Shake-

speare has been a frequent companion, and

reading

Perfect Cure."

have before us an analysis of the

Bright's Disease, etc.," of which


lars.

poses as the champion of Mattei and his

electricities,

jumped himself

to explain

it

was when

one of Shakespeare's works that Warner's

" Safe Cure " came into our mind.

An

extraordinary

26
concurrence of ideas, some will remark, and
account for

difficult to

yet they should remember that

it

has been

paradoxically asserted that the improbable often becomes

Macbeth thought himself on the

the possible.

safe side

when he more than hinted at the physical impossibility


of the removal of Birnam Wood to Dunsinane, but
he had to own up to his mistake very st on afterwards.

Which
the

**

play of Shakespeare was it that suggested


Our publishers do not find it
Safe Cure " ?

necessary to stimulate the circulation of

by giving away pounds


subscribers, or ofEering
so that there can be

of

tea

Health News

or other bonuses to

conundrums

competition,

for

no excuse for delaying the answer

" King Henry IV.," wherein Hotspur makes mention


of his prisoner's decided objection to

Of

petre."

he made use of was excusable

and has been for

of commerce.

had

otherwise

to apply to

centuries, quite a

just

the battle, the

life in

might seem rather too strong a term


is,

villainous salt-

course, seeing that the prisoner

run a narrow risk of losing his


epithet

*^

common

it

what

article

How would Colonel North, the uncrowned

Nitrate King, like to hear anyone speak of nitre in such

But we did not happen


to think of him.
We thought of Warner, and of what
a lot of saltpetre there must be in his *' Safe Cure."
uncomplimentary language

We were
us of this

right, too, for

much

an analysis specially made for

pufied medicine, by Mr. A.

F.C.S., F.I.C., public

W.

analyst, revealed the

Stokes,

fact that

three hundred and fifteen grains of saltpetre were con-

27
tained

in

Rather a

sixteen-ounce

Co. think so too, evidently, for

'^Our bottle

We

Warner and
they make the boast,

quantity of physic,

stiff

Sixteen ounces

bottle.

this.

the largest 4s. 6d. bottle in the market."

is

will not attempt to disprove this assertion, but

should have preferred

its

we bought

the price, as

being half the size and half

it,

not for

but with the view of sending


" largest bottle

loving public,

''

we

it

home consumption,

to our analyst.

If a

craze should seize upon the nostrum-

we may expect

eventually to see further

developments in this direction on the part of other

quack medicine vendors, such as notifications announcing


**

*^

"in the customer's own jug,"

on tap,"

and

small casks for family use."

The dose recommended by Warner and


tablespoonful,

day.

Eight

doses

would equal

by

in four

four ounces

four

four, equal sixteen ounces,

and

days the largest bottle in the

market has been emptied, and gone with


are four shillings

is

half an ounce, six or eight times a

i,e,,

ounces, multiplied

hey, presto

Co.,

contents

its

and sixpence, good and lawful coin of

khe realm.

Now, what has the purchaser had

for hi

money,

besides 315 grains of nitre, alias saltpetre, alias nitrate


of potash, the value of
point,

which anyone, curious on

can ascertain at the nearest drysalter's

Mr. Stokes
aforesaid

tells

this

Why,

us that, in addition to water and the

saltpetre,

he

extracted

from

the sixteen

ounces of fluid one-and-a- quarter ounce of glyccrinq,

28
half-an-ounce of burnt sugar or treacle, two ounces of
rectified spirits, a

few drops of

winter-green, and

oil of

a vegetable extract bearing resemblance to extract of

He

Kver-wort.

could not find any alkaloid, or any of

the uTial drugs employed in the treatment of Bright's


*^

disease.

My

belief,''

he adds,

**

is

that the nitre

is

the only active ingredient present."

We

fully endorse

Mr. Stokes' opinion, and we

believe that

any person who would attempt

such a

disease

fell

as that

also

to treat

which Warner and Co.

profess to eradicate with either saltpetre or glycerine,


or burnt sugar or treacle, or rectified spirits, or oil of

winter- green, or extract of liver- wort (the two latter in

such small quantities that

we should have

aid of fractions to enable

us to calculate the amount

taken for a single dose)

would not have such great

difficulty as

written

Ado

to seek

'^^he

Dogberry experienced, in getting himself

down an

ass, in

Shakespeare's play of

*'

Much

about Nothing."

If winter-green

and liver-wort do not show up in

any large proportions, the same cannot be said of


spirits,

which constitute one-eighth

cent, of the

whole quantity

part,

yet there

which more care should be exercised

is

or 12J per

no disease

in

as to the use of

alcohol than in Bright's disease.


It goes almost without saying that
issue, broadcast, circulars dilating

necessity of everyone

who

Warner and

upon the paramount

feels out of condition at

proceeding to drug himself with

Co.

their

once

preparation.

29

"The

cannot

doctors

cure you

they admit,"

this

'Warner and Co. dogmatically affirm in one of these

pamphlets.

who

bad look-out for every

or fancies that he

is,

Yet, there

is

or she

is,

man

is,

not in health.

or
particularly brassy one
speedily follows " Treat

a silvery lining to every cloud

in this instance, a

rather,

for

consolation to the afflicted

that the medical faculty can do

is

and

erysipelas,

people

every

from supposed apoplexy, convulsions, heart


gangrenous

All

live.

make dying

to

Thousands of people die

comfortable.

this

Warner's Safe Cure, and

yourself with

paralysis,

woman

or

year

disease,

other

quick-

ending disorders, when in reality they are the victims


Their physicians cannot

of chronic Bright' s disease.

cure

it

and they, therefore,

to cover their inability,

And

attribute death to other causes.''

are lost in

amazement

at the

so on, till

mean, despicable

hoods that some people will be guilty

money

of,

to

we

false-

make

for the object of these pamphlets, dropped into

family letter-boxes, and given away indiscriminately,


is

to

promote the

One

sale of the

pamphlets,

of these

some time back by a


throughout the
to those into

**

Safe Cure."

our private house

left at

man who was

district,

distributing

them

contains an earnest invitation

whose hands

it

may

fall,

to

forward by

parcels post a six-ounce sample bottle of their urine to

H. H. Warner and
for examination

*'
;

Co.,

Limited (Medical Department),

the charge

made being

sufficient to cover the cost of chemicals."

2s. 6d.,

barely

30

What

is

humble half-crown compared with '4ong


involving

experience,

practical

examination

the

of

But how can


amount of chemical

tJwusand samples annually " ?

mani)

Warner and

Co. get through this

and microscopical research, and

whom

to

do they en-

Mr. Warner's personal

trust such responsible duties ?

services cannot always be relied on.

Even
syrup,
strain
is

his health,

if

etc.,

did not break

was then

we read

down under

in an

at Rochester, State of
'^

his

mammoth

arrangements for

Powder "

by

nitre,

the continuous

American paper that he

New

York, superintend-

and

business,

which he assured an interviewing

mammoth "

It

making
bringing out Warner's **Safe Baking
yeast "

who straightway blazoned


^'

fortified

imposed on him, he must at times be absent.

not long since

ing

however much

the

reporter,

circumstance

advertising article, would

in

be as far in

advance of the powders now upon the market" (the


*'

bottle"

largest

Remedies

'

already

is

there)

*'

as

the

SS^fe

are above the vile imitations and substitutes

which are offered in their stead."


Really, after
analysis,

what we have learned from M^. Stokes'

we would

just as soon have vile imitations

substitutes as " villainous saltpetre."

directors of

many
hardly

the English

Co., Limited,

thousands of urinary analyses annually


likely,

undertake
scale.

H. H. Warner and

Do

we should imagine,

scientific

experiments on

Certainly not,

and,

that

and

conduct
?

It

is

they would

such a gigantic

on looking through the

31
pamplilet again,

we come

to

the conclusion that

physicians employed in our Medical Department

'*

'*

the

must

be the persons who, during Mr. Warner's unavoidable

owing

absence,

powder on

the demands of yeast and baking

to

his attention, carry

This does seem

cool,

In one

not to say cruel, conduct.

paragraph the sufferer

hmguage

on the laboratory work.

is

in

told

the most positive

that doctors cannot, and admit that they can-

and

not, cure him,

at the best they can only enable

to die comfortably

him

in another, that " our physicians

will gladly give the benefit of their knowledge, free of

If

cost."

we should
knowledge

we

believed anything

estimate the benefit

(?)

'*

their

thropists that

A letter was

of their physicians'

iW/.

physicians " are not the guileless philan^'

irner

and Co. would have us imagine.

sL^ ,,u to us not long sicice, written to a

young man by

**

our physicians," or one of them

their impatience to benefit humanity,


to

their medical

staff",

**

in

in

Co.

names

of their

which the following paragraph occurs

second month's treatment


this

Warner and

or even to give the

Charge for the month's treatment

With

inform the public as to the strength of

have omitted

doctors

Co. said,

as appraised in the preceding sentence at its

exact value, viz.

But

Warner and

letter

is

is

necessary, charge

4s.
is

If a
Ss."

was enclosed a printed consultation

form, containing some of the nastiest suggestions that


could be put into a youth's head.
fee

Presuming that the

was considerately dropped every successive month,

32
in tlie
fifth

same

our young friend calculated that the

ratio,

month's treatment would have been

af oost/^

But

it

literally " free

will never reach that stage,

and even

the Parcels Post six- ounce package and the half-crown

H. H.

for bare expenses, will never pass the portals of

Warner and

Ck).,

benefit of our

We

Limited.

cheerfully gave the

knowledge and advice, free of

cost,

as

they would say, in the single word indelibly engraved

on our memory by Punch in his advice


uu another
af

Don't

subject,

to

young people

and we had the

satisfaction

knowing that the quacks had one dupe the

less,

through our timely intervention.

How many

more the publication

of our article has

saved from loss of money, time, and health,

At

of course, say.

when
Warner and

the date

some few years ago

it

we cannot
appeared

first

Co., Limited,

were

paying a dividend of 17 J per cent. This grand harvest


from the ignorant and the unwary has since dropped to
Nily

and the shares

in the

able as the " Safe Cure "


will doubtless

draw

significant facts.

their

Company
is

are

now

becoming.

own

as unsale-

Our

readers

conclusions from

the^

Chapter

Quack Advertising

III.

Clarke's Blood Mixture,

AND THE Bogus Testimonial from the late


Dr. Swaine Taylor, F.R.S.

We

have frequently had occasion in

articles to refer to the persistent

quack nostrums.

of

Scripture, the

has

''

designated

series

and perpetual

of

pufiEery

Like the poor, mentioned in

pillionaires,'' as

the

this

people

Mr. George R. Sims

who make hundreds

of

thousands, even millions, of pounds out of advertising


aloes, or

some equally cheap, common drug,

as capable

human ill, are for ever obtruding themselves upon us.


Whether walking, riding, eating,
drinking,
whatever we may be doing, in fact we get

of curing every

ocular evidence of the ceaseless activity of the quacks.

Why,
to

bed

one

is

almost led to suppose that they never go

like ordinary folk, for

they are in evidence from

our rising up to our retiring to rest

we should need

to strike a

match

and,

if

perchance

in the middle of the

night, the odds are ten to one against our not finding

the box decorated with the statement that


(

GuUaway's

)intment or Fleece'em's Pills will confer long

life

and

the best of health upon anyone idiotic enough to be

taken in by such reckless assertiona

Mr. George R.

34
Sims, in a recent Referee, strongly denounced, in his

customary humorous
advertising had

style,

gone

the extent to which quad:

the latest development of

it

being the erection of huge boards alongside the railway


painted in bilious-looking

lines,

''

colour.

Somebody's

or

Of

on adding a new misery

course,

strictly

we

shall

men who

be told that such a proceeding

provided

only

that

arranges with the owner or occupier of the land,

is

he

can

and cover

erect the most hideous hoarding he chooses,


it

thu8

to railway travelling.

that anyone

legal,

would seem

Pills hold the field,"

to be the highest Kterary effort of the


insist

crimson

bright

with the most objectionable and untruthful statements.

" Did you see

all

those quack advertising boards stand-

ing alongside of the line as you came down


a friend

whom we

were visiting in Surrey

any one not absolutely bhnd

or,

as

"

We

if,

indeed,

previously to starting,

under the influence of chloroform, could

them

" inquired

fail to

see

saw a number of quack advertising

boards lying alongside of the line,"

was our

reply,

manner that our friend


he thought the wrong man

delivered in such an emphatic

looked for the

moment

as if

had accepted the invitation


Mr. Sims
lady,

tells

who

to

spend the day with him.

an amusing story of a romantic young

travelling in the same carriage with him,

closed her eyes, and said to her


tell

me when

at it again."

the scenery isn't

Then Mr. Sims

all

mamma,
pills,

and

^*

Mother,

I'll

look

expresses in verses his

disgust at this general debasement of the English land-

35
scape for advertising purposes.

Somebody's Pills.

The sun o'er the valley is streaming,


The lambkins are frisking with glee;
In the bright light the rivulet gleaming
Meanders away to the sea.
The meadows with daisies are dotted
And crowned as with gold are the hills
But the whole of the landscape is spotted
With advice to try ** Somebody's Pills."
The woodland is brave in its glory,
The fulness and freshness of spring
Round the castle afar, old and hoary,
The ivy leaves clamber and cling
There is rest for the eye as it gazes,
There is joy for the heart as it thrills
But the beauty is all sent to blazes
By the big boards of ** Somebody's Pills."
If the traveller, wearied

and annoyed

way

at the

in

which these quack advertisements are paraded at every


point of view, turns to his newspaper for some relief,

even then the ubiquitous quack announcement meets


his eye,

and vexes his

comes

across

Not unfrequently,

spirit.

therein

some

too,

heading,

strange

he

such

as "

Ten minutes more, and he would have been beyond


help,'' ^' Saved by a String of Sausages," " A Night in
Newgate," and similarly startling
lines,

titles

he reads a few

becomes interested, then drops the paper with an

inward groan as

it

flashes across his

mind

that the pre-

liminary paragraphs only lead up to a barefaced

Grandmother Seagull's
which
His

Treacle, or

some other nostrum,

like P^^^r P/y/rfer'.s Razors, are

feelings, as the truth

pufi* of

"made

to sell."

dawns upon him, are well

36
portrayed in the following

lines,

whicli appeared some

time since in a London weekly paper.

On Patent Medicine
It

was only a newspaper

And

Stokies.
story,

yet, as I read it o'er,

My eyes

grew moist and heavy


As they had not in years before.

was not the art of the writer


That on my heart-strings swept,
But the story simple and tender,
It

Went

to

my heart

as I wept.

But when

I arrived at the '' finis,"


caused my heart to ache
And I spoke strong words, for that tender tale
Was a patent medicine *'fake. ''
It

Talking of quack advertisements, we are reminded of


the sudden disappearance from the

London

daily and

weekly papers of one about which we have had a good


deal to

say,

Nev^s.

We refer to

in

this

by the proprietors

series

of

articles

We

Health

the testimonial widely advertised


of

Clarke's Blood Mixture,

alleged to emanate from the late Dr.

F.R.S.

in

and

Swaine Taylor,

have published irrefutable evidence that

no such testimonial could ever have come from that able


analyst and distinguished scientist, and

we have

stated

our firm belief that the alleged testimonial was either a

myth, or an impudent forgery.

But the

proprietors of

Clarke's Blood Mixture have been suspiciously silent

they have withdrawn the bogus testimonial from their


advertisements

but they have not ventured on the

explanation, although each of the various

numbers

least

of the

37
journal containing our comments on the matter has been

They have climbed


down/' and scuttled off in a manner on a par with their
flagrant abuse of the honoured name of a dead man.
sent to

them by

But they must not imagine


free in this way.
full conviction,

'^

registered letter.

We

that they can escape scot-

reassert,

with the emphasis of

heightened by a sens of duty to Dr.

Swaine Taylor's memory, that the alleged testimonial


advertised
is

either a

make
to

by the proprietors
myth, or a forgery

wager

of

the class of

correct.

It

of Clarke's

and we are prepared

any moderate amount


" pillionaires "

that

would be repugnant

receive Blood (Mixture)

money

Blood Mixture

to

not
oiir

to

belonging

assertion is

our feelings to

so that

we must make

one stipulation, namely, that the winner shall divide


the proceeds of the wager between deserving medical

and masonic

charities.

They may deem it prudent to maintain silence, but


we do not intend to let the matter drop.
It is
neither honourable nor honest on their part to cast a
slur

on a dead man's reputation, and then

word of explanation.

m^

to refuse a

Chapter IV.

Anonymous Abuse
Warner's " Safe Cure
AND Medical Staff A Quack Libel Case
Morison's Pills
Baillie's, Dixon's, Fothergill's, and Lee's Pills.
;

**

Who

is thiSf

that deafens our ears with ahundance of sujperfluovs

breath ? "

Shakespeare.

Since the commencement of this

have received

so

many

series of articles,

we

abusive and threatening com-

munications, apparently from persons connected with

the patent medicine trade

modesty

(?)

in

their

anger or their

they have omitted to give their real names

and addresses
of this sort.

that we are getting quite used


Indeed,

we

are

to letters

becoming hardened, and

ready to accept them as proofs, notwithstanding their


invariably uncomplimentary language, that these articles
are too truthful to be palatable to

some people,

at least.

Well, we started on the old-fashioned plan of calling a


spade a spade
boasts

and when we consider the extravagant

which our anonymous

assailants

make concerning

the often purely imaginary properties claimed for their


wares,

we cannot help thinking

it

would be better

if

they would go straighter to the mark, and not perpetually walk round the truth.

39
There

another curious coincidence about these

is

communications, besides the abuse, energetic enough to

make

the fortune of a professor of (bad) languages,

namely, that they

all

propound questions which they

do not themselves seem able

Even

to reply to.

abuse

the writers apparently imagine,

if,

as

argument,

is

when need-

questioning, without supplying the answer

One correspondent inquires


^^Why should not Warner and Co. have a large
a low form of logic.

ful, is

medical

We

staff

composed

of experienced physicians ?

never said they should not

pamphlet

in fact, a

dropped into the letter-box at our private house


tinctly

states

dis-

they are fully equipped in this

that

If our correspondent will look again at our

respect.
article

'^

on

**

Warner's Safe Cure," he

will see that

we

not only refer to this statement, but that we exhibit a


natural

curiosity

as

to

the names

position of the physicians of

extensive practice

''

who

and professional

**long

experience and

are always, like Mr. Micawber,

waiting for somebody or something to turn up at

Warner and

Co.'s,

where " consultations by

in person are invited,

and medical advice

given without charge."

This may, or

cheerfully

is

may

letter or

not, be the

case.

The pamphlet
confidence
there

is

assures us of

it,

as well as of

" but, in illustration of the old

an exception

we have had

of

strictest

adage that

to every rule, the only experience

Warner and

Co.'s

their cheerfully gratuitous advice


letter

'*

which was shown

to us

medical staff and


is

derived from a

by a young man who was

40

Warner and Co.'s physicians. Tlie


reply he received urged him to fill up a special printed
form, comprising no less than forty questions, many of
them absolutely unfit for publication. The fee demand.ed
for the first month's treatment was 4 4s.
for the
second month, 3 3s.
This does not carry out the
liberal offer made in the pamphlet, nor does it enlighten
us much as to the composition or number of the medical
induced to write to

staff'.

The

letter

signed by an individual

is

who

styles

himself M.D. Pa., U.S.A., a degree unrecognised in


this country.

The following

is

an extract from an

answer to our inquiry on this subject addressed

official

to the Registrar of the

General Council of Education

and Registration of the


qualification of

M.D.

United Kingdom

*^

The

Pa., U.S.A., does not entitle to

The reason

registration in the Medical Register.'^

is

not a difficult one to solve.

What
were

it

a ridiculously small medical

composed only of one M.D.


Messrs.

of course,

they write
l^lural,

tute a

be

it

staff,

about,

Warner &

Co.,

staff it

would be

Pa., U.S.A.

but,

must know what

and they mention

'*

physicians.^'

number might constithough one would not.


If Warner & Co.
observed

a plural

are really too preoccupied with baking powders (what

wonderful

'*

puff

''

paste they ought to turn out

give the names of their physicians just


j)erhaps they will obligingly

remedy

the next million of their pamphlet.

at

!)

to

present,

this omission in

41

We

have carefully looked through the

circular,

We

important point.

find

no information on

came

across a testimonial purporting to emanate

a medical practitioner.
Street,

this

It is as follows

London, N., August

1889.

12,

recommendation that I can give


remedies

is

to

The

worded,

greatest
*

Warner's

'

Safe

showing their

their vast increasing sale,

strangely

it

from

Hoxton

''91,

undoubted worth. M. E. Williams, M.D.,


thought

and

We

&c.''

such

giving

though,

evidence of the writer's acquaintance with the details of

Warner &

Go's business that

we could not help

at the conclusion that the writer

knowledge

his

might have derived

of the " vastly increasing sale "

holding a position on Warner's medical

We

are

arriving

again

from

staff.

placed in a dilemma, for a close

examination of the Medical Register and of the Medical


Directori/,

containing the names of more than 30,000

qualified practitioners

in the

M.D."
number, any more than the M.D.

abroad, failed to discover ''M. E.

amongst that large


Pa.,

U.S.A.,

who

proffers

^^

Williams,

gratuitous

advice at the rate of four guineas per

Warner &

Kingdom and

United

Co., in their

^^

professional

month

overweening faith in

Surely,

saltpetre,

have not adopted such a curious method of demonstrating their disregard for a profession, which their ''Safe"
liemedies are destined, in their
off

non

the surface of this planet, as


that

own opinion,
making it a

to clear
sine

qua

no qualified doctor be deemed capable of

acting upon their medical

staff.

If such

is

the case, they

42
ought, in fairness, to

make

the fact public.

Will M.

E. Williams enable us to rectify the omission on the


of the

part

^'greatest

official

Despite his

Medical Register?

recommendation"

"Safe"

Warner's

of

comer

remedies, he assuredly thinks there

is

for medical commercial enterprise

for, in

left yet

the chemist's

Hoxton Street, we saw displayed sundry


bottles of what Williams modestly styles his " Lung
Restorer," and a " Blood Purifer, specially prepared by
M. E. Williams, chemist, late army surgeon."

window

On

at 91,

the principle

another,"
I'll

ca'

that

" one good turn deserves

the Scotch saying runs,

or, as

Warner and

thee,"

**

Co. should

Ca' me, and

give

Williams, &c., a testimonial asserting that he

restoring lungs

with

is

just

no more) in purifying the blood and

as great (and

curing

M. E.

as they are

saltpetre

in

safely

beyond

and certainly
the

limited

came out not long

since in

diseases

resources of the whole medical profession.

Some

curious evidence

a trial at the Cheshire Assizes, being an action brought

by Dr. Alfred

Ellis

Vaughan, a medical practitioner

Crewe, against Samuel Johnson, of Wrinehill, near


Crewe, " a quack of the purest water," as the Liver-

at

pool and Cheshire papers describe him.

This Johnson though

an

undoubtedly

and

fit

to publish statements of

grossly

defamatory

character

concerning Dr. Vaughan's treatment of a patient,


in

some way,

fell into

who

Johnson's hands subsequently.

The pamphlet contained most extraordinary

puffs in

43

what Johnson

praise of

and Johnson

called his " Chinese Pills

announced that he could cure the

coolly

worst fever in three days certain, the worst inflam-

mation in

diphtheria in six hours, brain

six hours,

fever or inflammation of the brain in twelve hours,

the worst quinsy in two days, and stoppage or twist-

There was, in

ing of the bowels in six hours certain.

no disease that could withstand the Chinese

short,

Marvellous, if true (what virtue lies in that


word " if '^). Indeed, there could be only one

remedies.
little

thing more marvellous, and that

woman
field

is

how any man

in the county, outside the Chester

or

and Maccles-

Lunatic Asylums, could be induced to believe

We cannot speak as

such assertions.

of Johnson's Chinese pills

but

to the composition

we can

state

one fact

with satisfaction, namely, that the jury gave a verdict


in

favour of the

plaintiff,

250 damages, with

costs.

Whether Dr. Vaughan was paid the damages and costs


after the trial we cannot say, but we fear there is as much
room for doubts on this point, as on the Chinese pills.

As
prised

to these
if

Chinese

pills,

they contained

we should not be

aloes, for

two reasons

Quacks have a remarkable predilection


purgative, as will be seen

vious articles

(2)

Health,

contain

(1)

for this cheap

upon a perusal

whence

Pills, specially

institution in the

of our pre-

they are also invariably wrong in

localising the countries

Morison's

sur-

it is

obtained.

prepared, of course, at the

Euston Road, dubbed the College of


a

considerable

amount

of

aloes-

44
No.

Morison's,

1,

analysis of Mr.

is

composed

Henry Beasley)

tartar in equal proportions

parts of gamboge,

(according

and cream of

of aloes

No. 2

the

to

two

pill consists of

three parts of aloes, one part of

colocynth, and four parts of cream of tartar, worked

up

ful or novel about these pills, at

render

it

stj^le

any

wonders what there

one greatly

to

Nothing wonder-

into pills with the aid of syrup.

rate,

except that

about them to

is

necessary for the proprietors of the nostrum


their

emporium the College

of Health,

or

themselves Hygeists.

Apropos of

this

aloes,

forms a chief component of

Of these we have already

most quack medicines.


described a

number

Beecham's

Pills,

Syrup, Sequah's
for Pale People."

in this series of articles, including

Holloway's

Pills,

''Prairie Flower,"

Here

Mother

and ''Pink

Baillie's

Pills.

Pills

a batch of four analyses of

is

patent pills in support of this statement


1.

Seigel's

Extract

of

aloes,

IJ drachm

compound extract of colocynth, 1 J drachm Castile


oil of cloves, 15 drops
soap, J drachm
make up into
;

three dozen
2.

pills.

Dixon's Antibilious

Pills,

Equal parts

scammony, and rhubarb, with the addition


quantitv of tartar emetic

Castile soap,

to

of aloes,

of a small

make up

the mrss
3.

FothergilFs

Pills.

Aloes,

and extract of colocynth.

antimony, scamniony,

45
4.

Lee's Antibilious Pills.

mony, 6

gamboge, 4

syrup of buckthorn, 1

jalap, 3

and

mixed together, and divided

Of a
ventive

truth,

Aloes,
;

12 parts

calomel, 5

gum

scam-

soap, 1

mucilage, 7 parts

into five-grain pills.

quacks are not over-burdened with in-

genius,

always

excepting as regards

advertisements and testimonials.

their

Chapter Y.
Electric Belts

Nicholson's Patented Artificial

Ear Drums

**

Mattei's Electricities.

ChiUible, hoicever, by fit apparatus all Publics are

gulled ivith most surprising profit,

When

the

'^

Sage of Chelsea penned these

Sartor Hesartus,

he

must

chuckle over the Publics

have

who

taken in by the swindling

^'

and

Carlyle.

enjoyed

in

lines

cynical

allow themselves to be
arts of

Puffery and of

Quackery/' the " grand over- topping Hypocrisy," as

he writes further on.

Little wonder, indeed,

is it

that

he reckoned up these blind believers in quack advertisements and nostrums as

*'

mostly fools!''

By

"fit

apparatus" he meant, of course, the means devised


for

trapping such people as the large class of the

public

who put

faith

in

the

patent

alias

quack

renaedies.

For our present purpose, however, we

will take the

word " apparatus " in the narrowest sense.


our correspondents, speaking of

One

of

electric belts, describes

the case of an unfortunate man, a labourer, dying

from cardiac dropsy, and

so poor that

he could barely

get food enough of the humblest kind,

who was

per-

47
suaded by his credulous neighbours to lay out his
in the purchase of the

little all

much- vaunted and ex-

tensively advertised electric belt of an

Of

firm.

man

course, the

Oxford Street

derived no benefit from his

purchase, and soon afterwards died.

Our

friend got

permission from the relatives to examine this preciotis

What

apparatus, after the decease of the poor dupe.

did

it

turn out to be

Why,

as big as a florin, neatly

worth

many

as

robbed of

half a dozen discs of tin,

sewn into a flannel

belt,

not

farthings as the poor fellow had been

shillings.

Yet these fradulent apparatus are advertised in the


leading papers, some of them journals which would
decline to insert announcements of most of the ordinary
quack remedies in vogue.
instance,

had not long

One

of these papers, for

since, in its advertising

a long rigmarole about electric treatment,

with a

**

columns,

commencing

magneto- galvanic sleep promoter," at two-and-

a-half guineas,

and winding up with " the

electro- spiral

hood

to

until

the treatment has time to take effect.


Price
"
Great Scott
Which is most to be won-

500
dered

keep

life

at

dying from exhaustion

in patients

the mendacity of the

advertisers, the folly of

the purchasers, or the weakness of the publisher of a


high-class paper in allowing

the

medium

sort of

its

columns

to

of such a palpable imposture ?

be made

And

this

thing goes on day by day, week by week, and

month by month,
character

for

in

hundreds of papers bearing a high

respectability

and

veracity

religious

48
papers being the greatest offenders, a circumstance

from which an unbiassed observer might deduce the


conclusion that their readers are not of the most intelligent

classes

until

one

blushes

journalism.

for

Indeed, the electro-magnetic charlatans find ink and

paper such a profitable investment that they run papers


of their own, for the sole purpose of puffing their

make

wares, while at the same time they

own

desperate

onslaughts upon each other.

Thus, Modern Medicine^ a

monthly periodical published

in

convey

to its readers that

London, endeavours

to

Matteism and miracle work-

ing are convertible terms, and wild assertions are made


that the Mattel electricities* will promptly cure every

known malady.
But let us shift the venue from London to Geneva,
and we find there a so-called Electro-Homoeopathic
Institute, whence issues a monthly magazine printed
English, devoted

in

damaging

attacks

to

electro-homoeopathy and to

on Mattei, whose

former

agent,

a Mr. Sauter, owns the paper and an opposition shop.

Some

of

instance,

are

these

a letter

newly appointed

is

not wanting in humour.

agent,

as

his

follows

You

millions.
*

scientific

The

superabundant bombast.

'^Assuredly

The

will

to

showing that Mattei more

than makes up for his want of

by

by Mattei,

given, written

For

you

attract

it

will

knowledge

translation

not lack

as a

magnet

gold

is

in

attracts

analysis of these by Mr. Stokes, F.C.S. sums them up as


Water, *' nothing more."
See Exposuees of Quackkey, Vol. L.

Page

16.

49

You have

iron.

your

the

magnet

my

Farewell,

activity.

in your intelligence and

your abiKty, and I guarantee a good

As

that for high ?

we know nothing
Drake

Alps,

to equal

setting

have

out to encounter

march

his

more

used

to

Moscow, could
words.

inspiring

But, as Burns

had

and men

spent

gang

much money

without saying,
writing about
to

aft

as

and

Spanish

the

it is

Yet,
a false

by a desire for
The best-laid plans

inspired only

ring, brassy in sound,

of mice

is

Hannibal crossing the

it.

though they have a ring about them,

filthy lucre.

How

result. '*

a specimen of lofty rhodomontade,

Armada, Napoleon on
scarcely

work with

dear sir;

it

is

said,

^*

When

aglee.''

in
a

advertising

the agent

that

goes

quack medicine we are

had given much time and trouble

the business, Mattei picked a quarrel with him,

refused to pay the agreed commission, and was, says


his agent,
injustice.

Mr. Sauter, guilty of much meaness and

However,

agents, judging

Mr. Sauter,

is

this

kind of treatment of his

by the numerous instances quoted by

as

the globules are.

much

part of the Mattei method as

The only

pity

is

that these rivals

do not imitate the famous Kilkenny


hilate

cats,

and anni-

each other, instead of perseveringly obtaining

the sinews of

war from

their deluded followers.

Passing from electric to aural apparatus, we

may

refer to a much-advertised instrument guaranteed for

the
ago,

Complete eradication of deafness.

an acquaintance, a London

solicitor,

few years
consulted

50.
us for deafness.

In

came

attracted

out

that,

it

by an advertisement, he

which ought,

despite his profession


to

course of the consultation

tlie

like freemasonry,

"
have taught him to be cautious, was " fool enough

(we quote his own words) to spend

many

guineas

Patented

we

upon the purchase


Ear

Artificial

Drums,''

of

how

forget
'^

gold

Nicholson's
of

course

Finding his hearing seriously impaired by their use he

had flung them


follows

Two

three-quarters

They may be described

aside.

straight
of

pieces

of

gilt

brass

as

wire,

an inch long, one-sixteenth thick,

with a roughly made knob and a disc of very thin


india-rubber, half-an-inch in diameter, at each end

is

directed to wet

one of these instruments with a

lotion (charged extra) containing glycerine, ether,

morphia, and to thrust

drum

The purchaser

loop of silk cord to hold each by.

little

it

into the ear,

**

and

until the natural

reached, and the end with the large disc well

is

set into the outer ear.'^

It

makes one shudder

to look at

it,

and,

think of the mischief, aural and cerebral,

and

is

certain to do,

if

caused to thousands of
advertisements
times as

many

still
it

more,

may

do,

The injury
people who were inveigled by
left in the ear.

and testimonials

into

investing

ten

thousands of pounds in such worthless,

dangerous apparatus, must have been incalcuable.

Yet

Nicholson was allowed by the police and by the Medical


Council to go on for a considerable
(several years)

space of time

advertising in metropolitan and pro-

51
vincial

newspapers for dupes, from an address in one of

the principal squares of central London, more often

than not styling himself " Dr/' Nicholson.

he formed a limited

Eventually

company, drew most of

liability

the cash, and then vanished.

There are laws for the repression of

Why

imposture.

should not the authorities do their

duty by putting into


misrepresentation,

pretences

in

and

theft, fraud,

effect the

laws against fraud,

and obtaining money under

false

such cases as these electric swindles?

The Patent Medicine Laws should be

modified, so that

every patent medicine bottle, box, or packet issued


shall be required to

have placed conspicuously upon

a label setting forth

its

of

actual composition.

The

it

isale

patent medicine stamps would doubtless be dim-

inished

by such a salutary regulation

but the term

" patent " would then be a reality instead

of,

as at

present, a ridiculous misnomer, while the loss to the

revenue would be a
of public

trifle as

compared with the saving

money, and even of

life.

[This article was published originally some four or


five years ago,

most

gigantic

and

it

led to the downfall of one of the

humbugs

advertising

of

the

day.

Respectable papers refused to insert the advertisements


they

had previously admitted into

dupes began to see their folly


of the

London

their

columns

and, the better portion

press joined us in exposing the extensive

system of deception carried on under the high-sounding


title of

the Electropathic Institute.]

Chaptei? VI.

Oil

Jacob's

St.

Mother

Mattei's

In the

last

chapter

**

Electricities."

we suggested

indeed, urgently needed

Syrup

Seigel's

certain desirable

modifications

of the Patent

Medicine Law.
It

would seem that

one patent medicine

at least

change from the existing mis-

])roprietor desires

leading system.

Turning over a country newspaper

lately,

we

mixed

noticed, artfully

in

with items of

news, a curiously -worded advertisement of a particular


at

It

oil.

was headed

the top of

seated on

bench,

and looking very grave and

The advertisement

perplexed.

anecdotal style

now much

couched

is

affected

commences thus

vendors, and

and had

Difficult Case,*'

a wood-cut illustration of a judge

it

the

**

in

the

by patent medicine

" There

is

a certain

who sits in one of the London High


Justice, who says that patent medicines, or

learned judge

Courts of

what he
should

is

pleased to term

never be

medical man.
large

used,

them

quack medicines,'

except on the

The judge may be

majority of

correct as to the

patent medicines,

exceptions to this rule."

advice of a

''Pleased to

but there are

term them

53

The

subject

not a pleasing one, at any time, but

is

if

a judge in court was pleased to call patent medicines

by any other name than quack medicines he would


sacrifice his reputation for truth and discernment.

The exception

to the rule

tisement, St. Jacob's Oil

young man

case of a

ham, with

according to the adver-

and

details are given of the

living at a village near

avowed

the

is,

intention

of

Upping-

proving

this

assertion.

The narrative
matic character

ment

symptoms were

says that the


;

that the patient

was under the

the family doctor from January,

of

of a rheutreat-

1883, to

when he gave the patient up as beyond


and ordered him to be sent to the Leicester

October, 1886,
his skill,

Infirmary

that, at the

end of two weeks, the patient

was discharged from the Infirmary


that, as a last resource,

as incurable

and

he was placed under the care

of a celebrated physician in Leicester,

mained

where he

re-

for a long time, but continued to get worse.

Finally, his case having been pronounced incurable bj'

"some

of

the

most celebrated medical men in the

Midland counties," a few


were bought

at the

bottles of St.

Jacob's Oil

instigation of a neighbour,

after applying the contents,

and

the patient was able to

get about on crutches, becoming perfectly cured by

January, 1888.

The cure

is

spoken of as "miracu-

we do not attach much importance to this


expression, as it commonly occurs in patent medicine

lous," but

advertisements.

54
Indeed,

we

we should have given

are not sure that

a second thought to the matter, but for the circumthat the

stance

paration in question

is

What

medicine."

complains that the

advertiser

pre-

" under the ban of a patent

mean

he

does

We

that he objects either to the alternate

presume

name

*^

quack

medicine," or to the judge's opinion that, being such,


it

ought only

medical

to be

used on the advice of a qualified

the

followed,

the

If

practitioner.

manufacture of

judge's

ruling were

Jacob's Oil would

St.

man

sink at once into insignificance, for any medical

would be most culpably indifferent


interests, as well as to his

he prescribed

Jacob's

properties, as will be

Having a

shown

no

of

possess,

brated "

is

made

of

remarkable

curative

better acquaintance with medical

quack

com-

presently.

the Midland ^counties, and


prietor

patient's

seeing that this mar-

Oil,

ingredients possessing

his

professional character, if

miracle-working preparation

vellous,

mon

St.

own

to

elsewhere, than

men

in

the pro-

nostrum could be expected to

we were curious concerning the **most celewho had, in sporting parlance, thrown up the

sponge after

futile struggles

with the mysterious

ment, so marvellously cured, and

we asked

ail-

a friend to

write to the patient's father, inquiring their names.

The

reply,

follows
'

'

ask

which we give exactly

was

as

In ancey to yours of

me

as written,

this

to state the case of

Leicester

was

morning which we recevd, you

my

at the infermery

son the treatemt he receved at

and

froln

an old Docker which

65

way

and then he *' (the son we,


imagine, not the
Docker ') ** was sent to the Devenshire
Hospital Buxton and from their he was sent home quite a
cripple on cruthes, and was al formes and then i gat the oil and
has passed a

since then,

have the same greate faith in them as


It

is

always have done,"

the Docker

*'

a singular misfortune that, like

'^

referred to in the foregoing epistle, the doctors whose

marred in

professional reputations are so mercilessly

quack testimonials die before the testimonials have


wide circulation

but, as

OF Quackery, Vol.

I.,

we mentioned

page 90,

it

in

Exposures

was a misfortune to

the proprietors of Mother SeigeFs Syrup that they

assumed that a certain doctor had passed away in one


sense,

when he had only done

so in another, for

merely changed his residence.


the "

late

''

Dr. Dacre

Fox

cost

he had

Their mistake about

them

severeil

thousand

pounds.
It is also a remarkable circumstance that the people

from

whom

medicine proprietors

patent

unstinted praise are usually persons

the hackneyed phrase,

who have

we

get

such

will not use

whose education has

been

as obvious a disregard for

gram-

*'

neglected

''

mar and

literary correctness as the patent

proprietors themselves have for veracity.

medicine

If the case

were otherwise, we might

get

reliable statements of facts,

and thus have a proper

more

coherent and

opportunity of forming definite opinions.

To return
St.

Jacob's

to the
Oil.

question

What

of

the

does this

composition of

miracle-working

56
Jacob's Oil really consist of

St.

conjecture that the


delicate essences

costliest,

Some, perhaps, will

the choicest,

must be united

most

the

mar-

to constitute so

But if so, then Dr. Selkirk Jones


have made some mistake. He writes

vellous a remedy.

must

surelj'

In accordance with instructions, I have purchased a bottle of


St. Jacob's Oil

from a chemist here, and have submitted the

same to a careful qualitative

I find the contents

analysis.

chiefly comprise oil of turpentine, in

which

camphor, and scented with an essential

is

dissolved ordinary

(most probably

oil

of opinion that this Oil possesses

no

oil

of thyme).

As a medical man,

am

special therapeutic value, but, as in the case of ordinary

embro-

Compound Camphor Liniment

of the

cation (such as the

British Pharmacopoeia) the relief afforded to the patient

use

derived principally from the

is

application,

whereby rubefaction

is

its

of its mechanical

produced and blood circu-

Indeed, this Oil

lation accelerated.

mode

by

may

be regarded as an

ordinary stimulating application and nothing more,

George Selkirk Jones, Ph.D.,

L.S.A., &c.

According to the Old Testament, Jacob was

badly-

used by his future father-in-law, but the treatment he


received at Laban's

hands was

trifling as

compared

with the indignity heaped upon him (after dubbing

him

Saint, too)

ture of
oil of

common

by appropriating
vulgar

^'

his

name

mix-

to a

turps," crude camphor, and

thyme, and adding insult to injury by claiming

for such stuff that

" Turps " do


painter would

it

cost

possesses miraculous powers

money, though,

tell us, so

as

any house-

that St. Jacob's Oil

may

be

57
regarded as of higher commercial value than Mattei's
Electricities,

which are

so miraculous in their action,

according to some of Mattel's dupes, that,


ministered in doses of a few drops,

and

cataract,

analysis

unite

broken

showed that the

water " nothing

bones

when

ad-

they will cure


!

Mr.

Stokes'

so-called "electricities "

more/' as the old song says.

were

We

have been loaded with anonymous abuse and threatened with legal consequences on account of our com-

ments on Mattel's watery wares

somehow,

but,

as in

other instances of our publishing analyses of quack

anonymous

medicines, our
of the
as

Bob

to the

analysis

assailants turned out to be

Mr. Stokes,

Acres' stamp.

too, stood firm

The following

accuracy of his analysis.

and report furnished by Professor Michaud,

chief of the Cantonal Laboratory of the

Department

of

Justice at Geneva, bears out to the very letter all that

Mr. Stokes reported

Analysis of five phials of MatteVs Electricities obtained


Mattel's Depository,

The examination
following results

About

June 9th

from

1892.

of the five different phials has given the

fifteen

grammes

of a colourless liquid,

without

odour or flavour.
"Chemical composition indentical with that of pure water.

Contains deposits similar to those of stagnant water


tainted.

58
The microscopic and

physiological examination confirms

the chemical analysis as well as a previous analysis

made by

Professor Stokes, of London,

who

declared

the therapeutic value to be negative.

Mr.

Stokes' conclusions

seem to

me

to be conclusive.

L. MiCHAUD, Professor,

Cantonal Expert in Chemistry.

^-^mf'

Chapter VII.

Our

Silverton's
and Critics
Remedies for Deafness
Unqualified Practitioners: ^^A Merciful Medicine, more Precious
THAN Rubies "

Correspondents

"

Man

is

a dupahle animal, QuacJcs in medicine know


^^
act upon that knowledge,
SOUTHEY

this,

and

'^Quacks in medicine ^^ have had their feelings considerably

disturbed

by the

this series of articles, if


letters,
libel,

contained in

revelations

we may judge by

occasionally varied

by threats

of

the abusive
action for

that have reached us.

As

regards

attention

the

anonymous,

always

former,

the

we have bestowed on them has extended

far as our waste-paper basket

as

while the threats have

been as vague and incomplete as the analyses published

have been positive and

our angry correspondents think

definite.
fit

into tangible, business-like form,


to

to

we

Whenever

put their threats

shall be prepared

prove up to the hilt every statement we have made

but

we fancy

that they are not so courageous, or so

simple-minded, as Oliver Twist was


for more.

when he asked

60

to

some

fact,

111

of the patent medicine people

have had too much already.

company,

though

whose remedies

to

world-wide,

annual meetings of

its

has

the

'^

marvellous medicines

are

'^

while, as regards

is,

as our pub-

proved, only saltpetre, the Financial

analysis

Gazette, of a recent date, says of

have dropped

of

ofi

of dividends,

another company, whose sheet-anchor


lished

the

used to stop the sales

to the influence of efibrts

of their

held

great falling

and consequent shortness

receipts,

lately

shareholders, and the directors

have had to explain that


due

One patent medicine


we gave gi^tuitous,

(!)

publicity,

seem

so

it

that the shares

low as to be ''practically unsaleable."

Whatever the views of patent medicine makers may


be, there is, at any rate, a remarkable consensus of
opinion amongst the Press, and we are constantly
receiving papers containing most favourable,
flattering, notices of

We

regret

Patent

our

that

acknowledging

''

all of

alias

limited

these

let

Our excellent contemporary, the

Quack Medicines."

space

one

our

prevents

suffice as

a specimen.

British Medical Journal,

of October Ist, speaking of our journal, says

editor has for

indeed

some time past devoted himself

''

Its

to the

task of exposing the later forms of medical quackery

and from

its

interesting articles

we

learn all that the

us about these loudly- trumpeted

analyst has to

tell

preparations."

The reviewer concludes

*'

As

as follows

a contribution to our knowledge of the ways of

quacks,

it is

to be

welcomed

and we hope that

all of

61

our

make

readers will

themselves with

it

their business to acquaint

contents/'

its

Letters referring to our articles, from correspondents


living in Great Britain

numerous.

Here,

only

give
writes

*'

to

An

specimen.

be allowed to

Indian

judge

have just finished reading, with great

amusement and
lX)werful

we must ask

also,

single

and abroad, have been most

profit,

articles.

your delightfully humorous and

am

glad

that

find

to

exposures of quackery continue to appear in

your

Health

News, and I congratulate you upon the good work


Many of our correspondents are
that you are doing."
medical practitioners, who inform us that they have
succeeded

in

promptly and effectively opening the

eyes of believers in this or that nostrum by putting in


their hands the articles bearing on

Our quotation from


curiously- worded card

some time ago


It ran
tion

thus:

Southey,

reminds

^'

us

Admit the bearer


specialist,

to a free consulta-

a long tour through

England

ears,

the Rev. E. J. Silverton,

the large towns of Scotland

the large towns of

Ludgate Circus.

on deafness and noises in the head and

now returned from

of

which was put into our hands

in Fleet Street, near

with the London

all

it.

Glasgow and

Liverpool and

also Ireland

all

and Wales,

where wonderful cures have been performed without

The treatment

operation or the use of instruments.


is

so gentle in its action, that little children are often

saved from being

Deaf and

Dumb

and some who

62

were deaf and dumb have been made


^aught to
ful "

Old standing cases are

talk.

the

language

" indeed,

method

to hear,

as

is

also success-

mysterious as the gentle

seems no more

it

and then

The

seventy- two than at seventeen.

cure at

difficult to

patient should

not be discouraged because he or she has tried before

and

Mr. Silverton has been in the

failed.

icork over

twenty years " this expression smacks rather of the


than

parson

eminently successful "


cessful

employ the

**

and

ments, which

we need not

"If the case

is

been

were suc-

here followeth, to

^^
;

phraseology, a long

clerical

has

just now the cases

in all kinds of cases

'*

physician

the

of

list

upon our

inflict

of

ail-

readers.

incurable no hope will be held out,


''

but valuable advice will be given to each sufferer


" given " has a philanthropic sound about it, but there

the philanthropy ends,

" and where there seems

to be

hope, remedies will be recommended."

"

CAUTION " we

must put

this

*'

enough

the words

thus

may

*'

language, not our own.

Pa-

come with one."

seems a singular thing that four or

should even wish to accom^pany,


should,

*'

bring one friend, but we have not room

for four or five people to


It

all

" Caution,"

reverend specialist's

tients

for

we say, in more senses than


but we will give the
knowing what we do

printed.
one,

capitals

into capitals,

although we could

as on the card lying before us,

not spare

word

unless

strictly

five people

much more

prohibited,

that they

accompany every

63

We

individual patient to a consultation.


in practice twice as long as the

has been "in the work," and

^'

have been

reverend specialist

we can only remember

''

single instance of four persons entering our consulting-

room with one patient. On this exceptional occasion,


the patient was suspected to be of unsound mind, and
the quartet accompanying him, being composed of
near relations,

may

possibly have regarded

it

a good

opportunity for getting (at his expense), an indirect tip

own mental

as to their
**

reverend

with weak

specialist's
intellect,

condition.

" visitors are not

that they are actuated


''

"

all

afflicted

though many might be suspected

of a failing in that direction

*^on the job

But, surely, the

rather let us suppose

by a burning

in the work,''

desire to see

him

we mean.

However, those who are shut out by the " reverend


specialist's

Peri, in

'^

" imperative order need not, like Moore's


Lalla Rookh," " at the gate of

The

disconsolate."

Heaven sit
made

" reverend specialist " has

arrangements for their supply with his patent

and other patent remedies, which, similarly


treatment of deafness,

would appear

to

to

pills

his

be equally

well suited to the patient's case, whether seventeen or

seventy-two years of age, or of either sex.

At any
position.

we have our
happen to know

rate,

We

reasons for this

sup-

that some years ago,

two people, a gentleman and a lady, consulted the


**
reverend specialist," in the same week, in consequence of seeing his advertisements in the newspapers

64
the

gentleman

seeking

lady for sterility of

advice

many

which she was anxious

rheumatism, the

for

years' duration, a condition

have remedied,

to

if

possible

In accordance with the " reverend specialist's


that,

**

where there seems

to be hope,

''

rule

remedies will

be recommended,'' the lady received medicine as well


as the gentleman.
five shillings

In the gentleman's case thirty-

were demanded for what would be dear

commercially

speaking

thirty-five

at

farthings.

The pills and mixture supplied to each were examined


by a public analyst, and in each case the remedies
were identical in composition

composed of water, chloride of

mixture

the

being

acetate of

iron,

am-

monia, and syrup of orange to fiavour and colour


while the

pills

were merely common rhubarb

Yet these very ordinary

pills

it,

pills.

were described by the

reverend specialist " in one of his pamphlets as " a


merciful medicine, more precious than rubies "
Pre-

*'

suming that

when they

sample of what people get


reverend specialist's " consulting

this is a fair

visit

the

*'

rooms, where he can be seen, with

attendance,"

which

is

it

would be a

difficult

*^

his physician in

question to decide

the more simple, the patient or the treat-

ment.

The

object of the

**

reverend specialist " in associa-

ting with himself a medical


fication or other is obvious

man

holding some quali-

namely,

to

evade the law

relating to unqualified medical practitioners.

the Medical Council, whose duty

it

is

But

if

to protect alike

65
the interests of the profession and the public, would

power vested in them

exercise the

to its full extent,

such a state of things could not exist as that of an


unqualified man,
possessed

of

boldly

special

announcing himself

knowledge, far beyond that of

others

who have devoted

study,

and

as boldly

be

to

lifetime

their

medical

to

under the cover of

practising,

an alleged doctor, whose very name

suppressed.

is

Judges, coroners, and magistrates are properly severe

when

come before them

cases

in

which unqualified

medical assistants have attended patients


case of a qualified medical
associate

as

his

employer

man with an
still

more

not the

is

unqualified

deserving

of

reprobation and punishment ?


4.S

their

a matter of fact, the Medical Council have

power

to deal with cases of this nature,

Medical Act of 1858,


cise this

in

under the

Indeed, they sometimes exer-

power, and not very long ago two practitioners

were struck
proved

it

off*

against

the

Medical

Register,

charges

the

them being that they had

carried

on practice in conjunction with, or acted as cover

for,

unqualified persons.

In a pamphlet largely circulated by the


specialist," it is stated that, prior to

'*

reverend

commencing

present career, he was a Baptist minister.

his

But, " pres-

sure of pastoral duties and the very wide range of his


wider, apparently, than his range
healing ministry "

of drugs, or acquaintance

with the properties of those

he did use " compelled him

to retire

from either the

66

Mr, Silverton has retired from the

one or the other.

pastor's oJEce, to the great regret of

warmly

attached

friends

many hundreds

constituting

the

meeting in Exeter Hall, Nottingham.

man

sacred to give a

self,

''

we

Church

It seems as

him religiously
As the *^ reverend

health as to bless

but often the one leads to the other."


specialist

of

probably wrote this modest eugolium him-

will

content ourselves with expressing the

sincere hope that not so large a

number

as the

*^

many

hundreds of warmly attached friends'' have had reason

though we confess

to regret his change of vocation,

to

a good deal of doubt on this point.

We

are informed that the building at

bearing the high-sounding


a small chapel

title of

also that the

*'

Nottingham

Exeter Hall,

is

only

reverend specialist

used to quack while actively engaged in raising funds


for

it

or,

as

he perhaps put

it,

was receiving the

worldly dross derived from the cure of bodies, while


devoting himself to the spiritual cure of

^^5

souls.

Chapter VIII.
Patent
*'

Medicines

Reverend

Elixir

Cure

*'

Pious

Specialist "

Language

the

Congreve's Balsamic

Owbridge's Lung Tonic

Lane's Catarrh

a Quack's Certificate.

'Tis not the

Many

and

many

oaths that

make

the truth.'"

Shakespeare.

of our press contemporaries are in the habit of

stimulating the patronage and exciting the hopes of


their readers,

by

on

offering prizes for essays

subjects, or for the solution of different

various-

conundrums.

We are happy to say that the demand for Health News


is

too genuine to require

any incentive of

this kind.

But if we thought that the case was otherwise, we


might feel tempted to hold out the inducement of a
ten- guinea prize, to be competed for

by

believers in

patent medicines only (namely, ten boxes of Beecham's


Pills*),

be, "

and the subject of the conundrum-essay would

How do

you account

for the very frequent relation

between patent medicines and pious language

"

*' Worth a guinea a box" Beecham's assertion.


''Worth
a penny a box," the real fact. See Vol. I. of Exposures of

Quackery,

i>age 93.

68

In our

number we quoted from, probably,

last

own

Silverton's

conflict in a "

words, a description of the desperate

reverend specialist's

mind between

''

his

devotion to bis pastoral work, and a presumed call to

We

[N.B.

medical duties.

are not referring here to

the three halfpenny stamps for Government duty on

each box of quack

If

pills.]

it

were not bordering on

we

profanity, in presence of such a noble struggle,

might have compared the " reverend

specialist "

with

Garrick, as depicted in the famous picture of that actor


hesitating whether to adopt tragedy or

comedy

as his

sovereign queen.

We may here explain that the

" reverend specialist

got over his difficulty by arriving at the conclusion

expressed in the following unctuous sentence

seems as sacred to give a


religiously

The

''

but
of

bility

''

man

the

force

Blessing

sentence.

reminds us of an anecdote of two


ship

which included a

The

passengers.

manner
to

in

and the

It

him

intelligi-

religiously,

sailors

**

other.''

too,

on board a

bishop amongst

colonial

its

bishop objected to the emphatic

which the simple sons

express

health as to bless

but often the one leads to the

somehow mars the

passing

sentiments

of
;

Neptune are wont


and the captain

impressed upon the crew the desirability of controlling their feelings, or at least their language, during
that voyage.

The

sailors

were obedient to orders, and

almost mute throughout the early part of the day,

owing

to the novelty of the restraint put

on them;

69

men

but in the course of the afternoon one of the

happened

to drop a

Turning sharply round, the

foot.

and the bishop

of the captain

you. Jack
I

heavy marling- spike upon another's

''

mean/'

latter,

close by, roared out, " Bless

"You know what

adding in an undertone,
Evidently,

catching sight

injured sailor stood in


"
energisers " which the
need of one of the

little

" reverend specialist "

anyone willing

the

sells for

to part

about half-a-crown to

with that coin of the realm

for not only does Silverton profess to cure deafness,

even where

all

other remedial measures have failed,

but he energises those


" energisers "
(Is.
*'

at

2s.

who need

6d.

it

with his patent

whilst his

rhubarb

pills

IJd. a box) are, according to his modest assertion,

a merciful medicine, more precious than rubies

We

must now leave the " reverend

specialist

"
!

we

have taken up too much valuable time already iq


exposing his nostrums, and,
this article in print,

he

tuitous advertisements.

we have reduced
there

is

News

when our

may blame

us for giving gra-

However, he cannot say that

the receipts in that department, as

an inexorable rule at the

Office of

as unyielding as the laws of

Persians,

cluded."

"

Quack Advertisements

In order that there

this point, this

publisher sees

announcement

the

Medes and

Rigorously

shall be
is

Health
Ex-

no mistake on

printed on the front

page of every number of the journal.


Referring further to this religious
the

part of

patent

medicine

(?)

tendency on

proprietors,

we may

70

remark that one of the largest advertisers

that

heads the monster announcements with a quota-

class

tion

of

from Deuteronomy

The reason
this manner

^'
:

For the blood

is

the life/'

for dragging in a Scriptural quotation in


is

not very evident, except that

it

be for the

purpose of drawing attention, just as the Sequah

draw

men

Besides, having regard to the fact that

teeth.

Clarke's Blood Mixture contains a large quantity of

and that

iodide of potassium,

fully depressing action,

drug has a power-

this

making

most unsuitable and

it

improper for administration to the sickly and


tated

whom

(to

it

is,

debili-

strongly recom-

nevertheless,

mended by the makers),

we think

satisfactory quotation could

have been taken from a

verse
it

which occurs

on the ground

later in the

more

that

same chapter, ^^Pour

" at any rate, this would have had

a certain cautionary value, and have suggested some


safer

way

of

swallowing

As

for

dealing with the Blood Mixture than

it.

" God's

blessing," patent medicine

use the expression

so freely

(to

such an irreverent

extent as to partake of blasphemy), that one


led to imagine that they regard

purchase

when they buy

the

people

it

is

almost

as included in the

Government duty

three-

halfpenny stamps at Somerset House.

We
posed

have lying on our table a book which


to

treat

of

diseases.

At

appear in

gilt letters

all

consumption

and

other

is

supchest

events the names of these affections

upon the cover

but on opening

71
it

we

find only twenty-five pages, with frequent digres-

praise

in

sions

Balsamic Elixir, concerning

the

of

these important affections, while about one hundred and


fifty

Yet, in what

pages are stuffed with testimonials

may, by a great straining of the phrase, be termed the


professional portion, the author finds himself obliged to
utter the ridiculous excuse for not describing asthma,

that " the limits of the present

me

to enter

work

will not permit

believe that he could,

were not the easier

he

if

tried,

And

task.

even

do not

testimonials

if

as to the testimonial

whole book, he

portion, occupying six-sevenths of the


says,

We

minutely into such matters/^

" Other extracts might be given, but want of

What

space forbids. '^


stood so

much

in his

a pity

way

it is

that his modesty

that he did not utilise the

odd twenty-five pages for testimonials


have been no

loss to science,

there would

and the book would have

as much weight (eight ounces for twopence)


" gradually diffused " through the medium of the

had just

when
post,

amongst

On opening

its

credulous readers.

this book,

which purports

written (with the exception,

we presume,

pages of testimonials, though the statement


clear,

and patent medicine

literature

be wholly

to

of the 150
is

not very

must always be

taken with distrust) by one George Thomas Congreve,


of

Peckham, we find

blessing

''

we

felt sure

figuring on the very

hope

expressing

the

knowledge "

we

that

''

we should

first

by

once heard an

page

gradually

''

God's

G. T. C.
diffused

enterprising agent

72
and

bill-sticker described as a

literature

meant

"

" a

the

sort

of

gradual diffusion

appreciation

of

these

this

is

just

"professor of applied

means and

their principles of operation will so arise that, with

God^s blessing, the benefits accruing therefrom

may

be extended into distant lands, as well as more widely


our own.''

in

Opinions

some who

are doubtless
to

differ

consequently,

there

will entertain opposite views

Mr. Congreve, both as to the " principles of opera-

tion

''

and the

desirability

of

invoking the

Divine

benediction upon them.

The preface

to

He

amusingly contradictory.

is

explain that for


*'

Mr. Congreve's book of testimonials

directed "

earnestly

disease

first

many

" late J. R.

at great pains to

years his attention has been


to

study

the

pulmonarj^

of

with his father, then as a pupil of the

Hancorn " (whom

treated with a little

him

is

it

is

to

be hoped he

more respect when speaking

in his life-time than

of

he does now in writing of

him), and afterwards in the medical schools and hospitals of

London, where he "attended

of lectures
cal

student."

London
that

and

it

all

the courses

The medical

are numerous,

would have

schools and hospitals of

and we cannot help thinking

facilitated

had he applied himself

Mr. Congreve's

steadily to

work

at

tution, instead of imitating the bee, roving


to place in quest of

perhaps have

medi-

clinical practice required of the

said.

honey

Balsamic

Elixir,

studies

one

insti-

from place

we should

73

A country squire, whose son used,


number

to boast in the plural

like

Mr. Congreve,

of the seats of learning

with which he was acquainted, was descanting upon


the subject to one of his tenants, and commented upon

the remarkable circumstance that the young Hopeful

had enjoyed the exceptional advantage


" There

cated at two universities.

who had

replied the old farmer,


of the

had

young

squire's

mental

isn't

of being edu-

much

in that,'^

not the high opinion

abilities that the father

" why, I once had a calf that sucked two cows,

and the more he sucked the bigger

calf

he grew."

Well, supposing that Mr. Congreve's father was a


medical practitioner, although by the way, Mr. Congreve does not furnish corroboration on this point

Hancorn

that J. R.
to

(it

goes against the grain to have

speak thus familiarly of the eminent surgeon

who

had the inestimable honour of imparting the principles


of

special

extensive

Mr.

knowledge
practice

Congreve

attended

all

London, and
the

medical

all

in
;

Congreve)

and

hospitals

is

Mr.

that

as

Congreve

and medical schools

of

the courses of lectures required of

student,

there

is

which should be explained, and that

what

"had an

consumption,"

of

cases

asserts

the

Mr.

to

required,

or

expected,

of

certain
is,

something

why he

every

omitted

student

namely, to pass an examination at one or more of the


colleges,

thus affording evidence of proficiency, and

qualifying for medical practice.

Perhaps, despite the

all-absorbing character of his medical studies, he stole

74.

an occasional half -hour for the perusal

of Shakespeare,

and the following passage in King John struck


fancy as appropriate to his case

his

pomp,
To guard a title that was rich before,
To gild refined gold, to paint the lily,
To throw a perfume on the violet.
To smooth the ice, or add another hue
Unto the rainbow, or with taper light
To seek the beateous eye of heaven to garnish.
Is wasteful and ridiculous excess.

Therefore, to be possess' d with double

Whether such

supposition

is

or

correct,

cannot be determined here; but one thing

is

namely, that Mr. Con gr eve does not think

not,

a fact,

it

expe-

dient to wholly disregard professional qualifications,


for

he

much

tells

us,

in imposing capital letters,*^ I have

pleasure to announce that I have secured the

valuable assistance of

M.R.C.S., L.S.A.,
years.

In

my

my

who has now been with me some


absence

patients

Anyone with

attended to by him."
tive

son-in-law, J. Alex. Brown,

will

be carefully

little

imagina-

power might think he was reading of a modern

Ijaban

and a second Jacob.

Jacob to looking

after

sheep,

But Laban

restricted

while Mr. Congreve

entrusts his son-in-law with the charge of patients in


his (Mr. Congreve's) absence.

What, we wonder, do

they share Mr. Congreve's lofty contempt for medical qualifications, say to this " wasteful

the patients,

if

and ridiculous excess

''

And what ought

the Medical

Council to say to such an extraordinary arrangement

75

"reverend

Tlie

referred to in our pre-

specialist,"

"
vious article, employed " a physician in attendance
" but if this be

obviously as " a cover

motive for securing

the

son-in-law,

valuable

could not avail

it

L.S.A.,

in the event
for

Brown, M.E.C.S.,

permitted to see Mr. Congreve's patients

is

when Mr. Congreve is absent


common amongst boys sliding on

only

Brown's

his

of

illegal practice;

Alex.

J.

assistance

him much

of proceedings being taken for

he naively admits that

Mr. Congreve's

sole function

to use a phrase
ice,

J.

Alex.

and privilege appear

to

be to

the

" keep the pot a-boiling."

As Mr. Congreve reminds


ful (?) Christian style

there

is

Elixir

which pervades the

" an appointed time for

anyone wishes

remedy

his readers in the cheer-

earth," and

if

to personally obtain the " God-provided

for poor suffering

is

man on

entire book,

humanity "

thus beautifully and modestly

(the Balsamic
(!)

described at

page 87), he must present himseK at Mr. Congreve's


residence

on certain days

can consult Mr. Congreve,

at stated hours,

when he

or, in his absence, J.

Alex.

Brown.

Some anxious

inquirer

may

despondingly suggest

such a misfortune as the absence of both of these

We hasten

individuals.

which must
calamity.

'*

to dispel the gathering

gloom

from even the bare idea of such a


In order that the world at large might

result

derive the benefit of their use," Mr. Congreve

^^God-provided remedies,"

us that these
solely

by me,

at

my

residence," &c.

tells

"prepared

that accounts

for

76

we

the days on which he cannot be seen,

suppose

have been " introduced in the form of propripMry


medicines/' which

can

had

be

any respectable

of

chemist.

Imaginary dialogue in a village shop between a


chemist and a lady-customer

chemist?''
bottle

Why,

^'

Mr.

of

madam

The circumstances

Qod-promcled

mean

(I

better to have the latter

"

and expense.'

What

it

is

so

is

the price ?

"Give me

are lis. and 22s."

much

Balsamic
?

Mr.

preparer) says
it

is

saving of trouble
" Family bottles

''

cheaper than

my

paying a few

man who,

of course

would

Mr. Congreve says in his book

at least, so

not

'

a twenty-two shilling

shillings to a qualified medical

want a

the patient permitting,

of

much

bottle

"Then

respectable

small or large size

Congreve, the sole providee


*

" Are you a

certainly."

Congreve's

" Yes,

EHxir.''

know anything about my

case."

Mr. Congreve professes not to mind what trouble


" I

he takes.

am

not actuated solely by ideas of

pecuniary gain, but a sincere desire to benefit

much

fellow- creatures as
tells

to

how much

solely preparing

trouble he

required,

italics

it is

to

is

advantage," he

put
foi

to,

in addition

he

specially

emphasise the fact of his


the

better to obtain

This admonition

is

the remedies,

using
earnestness "whenever
remarks

my own

Nay, more, he does not mind

us in his book.

apparently,

as

my

two

them

largest
direct

sizes

are

from me."

needed, for otherwise the thought-

77

might imagine

less patient

trouble

and expense

buy

size for

17s.

6d.,

as

some cbemist

of

9d.

8s.

we

respect-

Why

home,

course

there

office

who

actually sells the

and the

22s.

family bottle for

one not far from our

lis.

would be a saving of

nearer

able chemist, of
is

to

it

learn from his price

We

list.

have

never made such wholesale purchases of any patent


medicines.

ments,

let

selves so

Life

not long enough for such experi-

is

alone our purse


silly

but

we

if

ever found our-

as to indulge in such

'^

wasteful and

ridiculous excess," as regards the Balsamic Elixir,

should probably take the


carefully sitting

first

omnibus

back in a corner

lunatic a-sylum (lest our object

as

we

Peckham,

to

we passed

the

might be guessed, and

ourselves be detained as fitting candidates for admission),

and save trouble and expense

full price into

(?)

by paying the

the hands that had solely prepared this

God-provided nectar.

It is so

much more

satisfactory

to get a bottle of

wine direct from the original bin

than

from

to

have

it

the

public-house round

the

corner.

Now, what on earth could have put this lasr idea


Why, we read some time ago in the
into our mind ?
Provincial Medical

Journal an article in which the

Balsamic Elixir was irreverently compared to diluted


*^

publican's port,"

pliis

little

Friar's Balsam,

Icnown as the compound tincture of benzoin.


a concoction could not,
language,

be

rightly

by the

termed

greatest

also

Such

stretch

God-provided,

of

and we

78
have therefore had the

whom we

analyst to

many

of

submitted the sample, a gentleman

years' experience, reports thus

be made of infusion of elderberries, a

with a

benzoic acid,

There

is

makes a
all

The

stuff recently analysed.

"

little

It seems to

alcohol and
flavour

to

allspice

little

an old Scotch proverb that ^^Many a

it."
little

If so, the " mickle " in this case

mickle.^'

on the side of the

sole preparer,

and not in favour

is

of

Country- born and country-bred, we

the consumer.

admit an inherant weakness on a cold winter's night


for mulled elderberry wine,

we should

plm

sugar, pkis spice, but

strenuously object to

"mulled" by the addition

of

its

being chemically

compound

tincture

of

benzoin, alias Friar's Balsam.

As

we are now

for the properties of this beverage

speaking of good, honest, unsophisticated elderberry

they

wine

are too well

them

describe

we

that

it

most

for

us to need to

but as for the remedial properties of

that other concoction

wit

known

Congreve's

unhesitatingly

Balsamic EKxir, to

and

positively

assert

has no power whatever to prevent or modify

tubercular deposits, to heal ulcerated lung- tissue, or


to

cope

with

giving

rise

alleged

to

be

various

pathological

asthma and other

to

Balsamic Elixir
in

the

cured by the
;

affections,

administration

no, not even if such

twenty times the number of

jionials

chest

conditions

the

were affirmed

affidavits

put forward by Mr. Congreve.

of

and

testi-

" 'Tis not the

79

many

oaths

tliat

make the

truth,"

as

Shakespeare

observed.

This chapter has already run to such a length that

we cannot make room for any extended comments on


certain much adyertiBed proprietary medicines which
we had intended to write about. One of these is
Owbridge's Lung Tonic
a second is " Dr." Lane's
;

Catarrh Cure, sold at "Professor" Brown's dep6t for


herbal medicines,

in

near Covent

street

Garden.

Frequent newspaper adyertisements exhort people to


" saye their liyes by taking Owbridge's Lung Tonic "
;

and the proprietors


the statement that

assertion

its

How

consumption.

may

of the Catarrh

Cure

insist

upon

use as a gargle will prevent

far the facts will agree with the

be readily realised

when we mention

that the tell-tale test-tube of our analyst

makes us

acquainted with the fact that the simple solution of a

drachm

of carbolic acid in a pint of water {both cheap

ingredients)

furnishes a

to the contents of a 4s.

herbal

(!)

compound
6d.

closely proximate

bottle of the infallible

Catarrh Cure and Consumption-prey enter.

The other

life-presever,

Owbridge's

Lung

Tonic,

turns out to be composed chiefly of balsam of tolu,

with the

oils

of

aniseed and

warming, and not unpleasant


ing one quality in
nlready described

Cure

namely,

cloves.

Aromatic,

to the palate,

but possess-

of

common with

the two preparations

the Balsamic Elixir and the Catarrh

utter uselessness in the prevention or

80
cure of the

makers

fell

consumption, for which the

disease,

falsely assert that they are specifics.

clergyman in one of the Eastern counties has

sent us a copy of a travelling- van quack's certificate,

given to a labouring
sick relief
This

is

from a

man

for the purpose of obtaining

benefit club

James

to certefy that

is

sufering from yaler

janders and not abel to work.

G. Lewes, M.D., U.S.A.

The originality
but there

is

and that

is,

of the spelling is sufficiently striking

another pecuKarity about the


that the

certificate,

was scrawled, with a long

top stroke, so as to resemble the letter

the obvious

purpose being to convey to ignorant or unsuspecting


persons that, besides the doubtlessly assumed degree of

M.D., the writer of the

certificate possessed the

L.S.A.

Our subscriber, happening to see the


made some inquiries, which had the effect

qualification.
certificate,

of

promptly relieving

What

a pity

it

is

his

parish

of

an

impostor.

that there are not more clerical

gentlemen ready, like this one, to oppose quackery,


instead of

many being

so easily led into giving testi-

monials about matters of which they probably

nothing at

all.

know

Chapter IX.
Stepney Green Diplomas.

In a former

article,

we spoke

of the so-called " School

A greater peice of humbug never

of Safe Medicine."

Four men banded themselves

existed.

small house in Stepney, dubbed

Botanic
'*

and

Magnetic

it

Medicine,"

together, took a

The School of
and themselves

^^

Professors," and forthwith proceeded to issue diplomas

and degrees

to

anyone who would pay them for these

documents.

worthless

Here they are

Such a queer

Charles Grapp, not

coal-dealer's clerk, next a

now
of

carrjdng on a

^*

quartet,

many

too

years ago a

cheap jewellery vendor, and

medical practice

" at the

East

End

London, and putting " M.D." after his name, on the

strength of a bogus degree of the United States, which

he obtained without even leaving England

Younger, of the Alofas*


Street,

(all-a-farce)

'^
;

Dr.

shop in Oxford

London, near HoUoway's Temple of Quackery?

holding

diploma

similar

to

Gapp

" botanic " medical practitioner at

secretary

and the

'^

Reverend

"

Maguire,

Bow, who

acts as

Verryman Trimmings,

whose M.A. and Ph.D. emenate from the same tainted


See ExPOSunEs
{all-a-farce)

of Quackery, vol.
Safe Kemedies."

1,

page 99:

"The

Alofaa

82
source as Gapp's and Younger's

most

M.D.

According to a

may

reliable authority, the last-named

to be considered a "

man of

letters

seeing that at a certain period

be became a

*'

engaged in the

and

artistic culture,

not very remote

reverend/' and, like

^before

Gapp and Younger,

Yerryman Trimmings was

degree,

took his

'

lay claim

actively

French

sale of a peculiar class of

liter-

ature and photographs, in a small shop in Holywell


Street, Strand.

The system

of education pursued at this school or

college

which

to call the establishment

its

poor dupes
the

four shining lights appear undeterminded

who

as simple as the

is

are afterwards gulled into believing

degrees to be of any value.

Postal tuition in

medicine, surgery, magnetism, mesmerism, botany,


postal examination (we should like to see

etc.,

some of the

everything

questions and answers), postal graduation


postal,

provided, of course, that the postally posted

candidates " post " the 25, a point on which the four
professional examiners are very stringent.

These Stepney Diplomas are not, as a matter of

worth twenty-five pence,

let

fact,

alone twenty-five pounds,

except to hang in some herbalist's back shop, pretentiously designated " the consulting room,*' so as to
assist in

conjuring hard-earned

money

out of credulous

customer's pockets.

In 1894, the queer quack quartet,

alias the School of


"
Safe medicine, aided one of their
graduates," Joseph

Steel, of

Houghton-le-Spring, Durham, described as a

83
**

miner and herbalist/'

viction

with

in appealing against

by the magistrates, who imposed a

costs,

for falsely passing

liis

con-

fine of

10

himself

off

as a

doctor,

though holding only a Stepney Green diploma,

which,

we

coming

to

believe,

he received without the trouble of

London.

result of the appeal,

Our readers
though

it

will readily guess the

does not seem to have

abashed the impudence or damped the ardour of the

Stepney Syndicate for the issue of sham diplomas, as


they have since blossomed into the
Safe Medicine," thus

named

General Council of

'^

in obvious imitation of the

General Medical Council, and are energetically engaged


in soliciting assistance to enable

Magnetic

and

Botanic

them

School

to establish the

Safe

of

Medicine,

Limited.

Until they have succeeded


^ect a

in

raising

money

to

Magnetic and Botanic Hospital, the General

Safe Council graciously express willingness to accept


the certificates of attendance granted by

^'

any recog-

medical school "


so that St. Bartholomew's,
Guy's, St. George's, the London, and other at present

nised

recognised medical schools,


little

may

possibly hold out a

longer.

The General Safe Council announced that communications and donations might be sent to the
Secretary (Yerryman Trimmings again to the front),
at the offices of the General Council of Safe
cine, Limited,

Hall, London.

Club Union Hall, next

In noticing

to

Medi-

Holborn Town

this appeal a little

time

84

we

back,

communi-

also advised people to send their

any were

cations, if

we did not say anything


matter to their

be seen that

felt desirable (it will

as to donations, leaving that

common

sense), for

own

our

inspection

had shown us that a personal application would be


attended with risk in working one's

way down

into the

underground room used for the several purposes of the


General

Safe

the

Ck)uncil,

and

Botanic

Magnetic

Dispensary, the massage and mesmeric mummeries, &c.

The

and

address, as printed

circulated,

would almost

have led anyone not acquainted with the place to


suppose that the General Safe Council occupied the
entire building,

and might soon requisition the Town

But the General Safe Council were

Hall.

on rent

their outlay

which they gave

as they

to the

*^

chary of

as

were niggard in the time

philanthropic work,''

and

from what several indignant members of the club (who


did not appreciate the close proximity of the Council)
told

&

us

it

was evident that before Gapp, Younger

Co. absorbed the

of

Union Club

members, as well

as

many

Hall,

many hundreds

other tenants of the

premises, would, like Macaulaj'^s Cornishmen,


"

know

limited

week,
Safe

the reason

why," particularly

as

want

even the

underground apartment was only used once

viz.,

to

on Thursdays, at 8 p.m., when the General

Council met,

when

the magnetic

and

botanic

dispensary threw open its portals to " thousands of


suflerers "
where they could put them all is a mystery

that nobody could solve

and

when

the quartet dis-

85
played their vaunted

skill in

massage, mesmerism, and

animal magnetism, principally to the weaker sex.

Whether our

critical

comments on the Councirs

arrangements affected the sensitive Stepney Syndicate's

we

nerves, or whether they pined for greater seclusion,

know

But some months after curiosity had led


us to dive down into their subterranean .quarters, we
made another visit to the Club Union Hall, and on
inquiring of some members grouped round the
entrance -door we were informed, with much show of
not.

merriment, that the *^crew'' had gone back to Stepney.

What

they are doing at Stepney

is,

that they are turn-

ing out batches of quack doctors, to the scandal of the

Law and

of the authorities

down such

it

is

to

put

public swindles, and to the infinite danger

of the pockets, health,

deluded

whose duty

into

and

lives of

thousands of people

believing that these

diplomas are of

value.

Not long

since,

we

received a letter from a Colonial

reader, telling us that a

Green diploma, had


(not

man, provided with a Stepney

lately

found his way to Australia

by transportation, for that antiquated mode

emigration

much

is

of

done away with), and was working

mischief amongst the ignorant denizens of the

poorer district of the city in which our correspondent


resided.

The unblushing
Green

'*

effrontery with

which the Stepney

graduates " parade their M.D. degrees nearer

home may be judged by

the sub-joined fac-simile of a

86
label forwarded to us

by a subscriber

resident in the North of England.

that

**

Doctor

^'

shop to his other

Jitt.5.

to

Health News,

He

also informs us

Thomas Hudspith adds


^*

a sweet-stuff

professional'' attractions.

(f r.), St. oi

f 0tanir

JttebinitB,

Diploma of Incorporated Council of Safe Medicine^ Ld,,


by Examination ; also mem-ber of the Magnetic and
Botanic School of Safe Medicine Ld., London, incorporated by H.M. Government in contradistinction to the Allopathic systein of Drug Medication,

ORGANIC-MAGNETIC & BOTANIC DISPENSARY,


LANGLEY MOOR, Near Durham.
Herbs,

Here

Roots,

Barks,

and all

Botanic

Safe

Medicines.

a deKberately misleading statement about

is

H.M. Government which the authorities ought to look


The British Government is behind almost every
into.
Continental one as regards

adequate

measures

for

protecting the public from quackery, and the same

supineness appears to affect our


abroad.
Bailey,

During the course


of

the

wretchedly

officials

when they go

of the trial,

ignorant

Old

at the

pretenders

to

surgical knowledge, who, styling themselves " Indian


oculists,''

robbed thousands of poor people, in

of England, of their

evidence

that

represented

to

money and

sight, it

some

documents

their

unfortunate

which
dupes

all

parts

came out
these
as

in

men

Indian

87
diplomas, were passports from the Indian Government,
stating that the holders were "proceeding to
to cure eye diseases

"
!

Europe

Chapter X.
BONESETTING, BY A HoSPITAL SuRGEON

A PaTENT

Medicine Song, By John Johnston, M.D.

In

this chapter

we

include two contributions which

have been forwarded to

us, at different times

by a Hospital Surgeon, on a peculiar form

many

doubtless well-known to
districts,

where

flourishes

it

the one

of quackery,

of our readers in country

more than

in large towns

the other, a highly humorous effusion

by Dr. John

Johnston, of Bolton, being a song specially composed

by that gentleman

for

the Annual

Dinner of the

Bolton and District Medical Society.

BONESETTING.

peculiar form of quackery

This

setting.

of

society,

is

is

what

is

called

Bone-

most popular amongst the lower ranks

such as the miners and dalesmen of the

North of England, and small farmers, shopkeepers, and


artisans in some other parts of the country, for
instance

though the

belief

in

it

is

by no means

limited to the uneducated classes.

The

process

is

ordinary blacksmith

plain
is

in

the

extreme,

competent to

and any

set uj) business in

89

moment's

at a

it

The primitiye method

notice.

simple, unintelligent violence


in

A person

it.

from accident or
wonderful

happens

to

disease,

and

is all

the secret there

have a
told

is

is

stiff joint,

either

by a friend

of the

He

of a certain bonesetter.

skill

of

conse-

quently goes to this unqualified practitioner, and

is

invariably informed that his surgeon has not treated


his case properly
*'

the small bone

also, in

''

nine cases out of ten, that

of the affected joint has

Perhaps the particular joint has no small bone in

out.

connection with

it

but that

bonesetter, whether ignorant

not deem

it

desirable to

magnifying his

down
is,

been put

ability

a mere detail, and the

is

on

this point or not, does

throw away any chances

of

while the sudden breaking

from his manipulation,

of old adhesions, resulting

of course, attributed to the

'^

small bone

going

''

into its place again.

The

bonesetter, having delivered his opinion in his

customary manner, proceeds to bend the joint by sheer


force.

In some instances, when the

stiffness is the

result of a simple adhesion in the joint,

such as

is

frequent after a sprain or other ordinary injury, the

wrench

is

successful

indeed,

this

is

method

employed in suitable cases by competent surgeons.


If,

however, there should be actual disease of the

rheumatism,

joint

wrench by one

scrofula,

or

of these ignorant

permanent good, but may

set

up

cancer

men

violent

not only does no

serious injury, ending

in the necessity for amputation, or even in death.

90
It

almost superfluous to say that this class of

is

impostors usually claim some special Divine gift,* and


it is

equally unnecessary to point out that though one

much

hears

of their occasional successes, victims of

and

their blundering generally keep the story of pain


folly to themselves.

Mr. Howard Marsh, one of the leading surgeons of


the day, in his work on Diseases of the Joints, gives an

amusing and instructive account


he

of three persons

whom

though they had nothing the matter with

sent,

them, to a notorious bonesetter.

on showing

his

The

first

was informed

elbow that his ulna (the long, slender

bone of the forearm) was '*out," and, having paid


half-a-guinea,

was directed

to return in a couple

of

days with two guineas, when the bone would be put


into its place.

was
fee.

and

out,

second was told that his ankle-bone

and the same course was pursued

The

as regards

third received identically the same opinion

instructions as the second.

The

writer was

once the subject of considerable

abuse and misrepresentation by a lady, whose servant

had sustained a fracture

at the

middle of her leg

the

necessity of keeping the injured limb in splints for

about a month had resulted in a temporary


the ankle-joint, such as
cases of this kind.

is

not an unusual occurrence in

The employer, not

the treatment which her


* One whom we
was the seventh son

stifthess of

servant had

satisfied

had

in

with
the

recollect in Warwickshire used to boast that


Ed.
of a seventh son.

he

91
hospital, took lier out of that institution before she

had

completely recovered, and sent her to a bonesetter.

Without the
leg

had not been broken

of the ankle

man

least hesitation this

at all,

was " out."

As

asserted that the

but that the small bone

a matter of fact, there

properly speaking, no small bone of the ankle

is,

but

the bonesetter was above such trivial details, at any

have put

rate he professed to

in

it

the intense satisfaction of the lady,

good fee in recognition of his

Come,

it

right place, to

who handed him

SONG.

and brother Medicals, and

listen to

consists of verses ten,

my

song,

won't detain you long

it

about the marvellous notions, lotions, draughts and

That are guaranteed to cure the human race of

Of weakness

special skill.

A PATENT- MEDICINE
friends

Though
It's all

its

pills^

all its ills.

of the muscles or the nerves, wherever felt,

by wearing an ** Electric Belt."


only made of little bits of tin ?

You'll speedily be cured

What matter

if it's

It's called Electric

For heat

and the metal's nicely quilted

spots, pimples, boils,

Clarke's mixture, with

While Mother
Is a priceless

And

all

Pot : lod

**

:,

disorders of the blood,'*

can't fail to do

Seigel's Syrup, with its treacle

remedy

for

all,

and

you good.

its aloes,

from slum to Royal palace.

should your stomach be upset, or your liver be at fault,

The thing
'Tis true

But

its

and

in.

that's sure to

put you right

is

a Seidlitz Powder would have

as that bears

a dose of Eno's Salt

much

the same

effect,

no patent stamp, what good can you expect

92
For Rheumatism nothing can excel

With
For

its

camphor and

its

turpentine, pure products of the soil

sciatica that's chronic, or

Get Sequah's Indian chiefs to

women

That

Jacob's Oil,

St.

lumbago in the back.


rub you till you're blue and

black.

folks are fond of pills, old Hollo way could teach

'em,

But nowadays they're more inclined


Beecham,

Whose

pills

to pin their faith to

they take by handfuls with a confidence nothing

shocks.

For don't they know that


a box

'*

Beecham' s

Pills are

worth a guinea

"

For crying babes and children we have nostrums by the


There
*
'

And

are
teething powders,"
mothers' friends " galore
**

while

it's

true that all such

**

owe

score,

soothing syrups,"

their

power

and

to " sleeping

stuff,"

They soothe and quiet the

And

Httle dears

and

isn't that

enough

should your hair evince a strong desire from you to part.

At once apply the lotion made by Mrs. Allen's art,


And on each bald and barren spot 'twill soon sprout up anew,
While silvery locks will speedily regain their youthful hue.

But time would

fail to spf

ak of

all

the wondrous things

we

hear,

And we marvel

How

at the statements that in circulars appear,

Warner's cure for instance can <mre anything at

If it's true that it contains a large

In

fact, unless

you want

amount

all,

of alcohol.

to die, there seems

no room for doubt,

That you must swallow every patent medicine that comes out
And should you find by doing so you've quite destroyed your
;

health,

You'll

know at least that you've increased the medicine vendor's

wealth.

Chapter XI.

How the Poor arb


Quack Bogus Newspapers
Swindled
Handyside's Consumption and
Cancer Cure
Electric Snuff
;

^^

How

this

King David
"all

men

world

is

are

is

given to lying

f^^

Shakespeare

recorded to have said in his haste that

Commentators, who are not

liars."

usually given to imanimity of opinion, are fully agreed

upon one

point, namely, that this is rather too

an assertion, and needs some


instance, if

sweeping

For

little qualification.

the words " quack medicine " were inserted

after *^all," every possible

doubt as to King David's

complete correctness would at once be removed.

In connection with our

articles

on quackery,

it

has

been part of our arduous task to go through a large

amount
found in

of
all

quack

literature,

quack pamphlets,

and we have invariably


bills,

and advertisements

the same utter disregard of truthfulness, prompted by


the

same reckless greed

for

their

dupes'

money.

" Horrors on horrors' heads accumulate, the worst of


and not content with floodevils fastest propagate "
;

ing the country with thousands of tons of printers' ink

94
annually, in the form that

have of

we have mentioned, quacks

upon the disreputable dodge

late years hit

new

bringing out sham newspapers, as

of

snares to catch

unwary and the ignorant. These never get beyond


one number it is not intended that they should, for

the

having done the trick under one name, the


altered, the

is

heading lines are changed, and the same

letter-press does service over again.

of various

title

bogus journals, puffing

Millions of copies

this or that nostrum,

by post through whole counties, or distributed by hand from house to house in populous

are circulated

towns

always at a distance from the assumed place of

origin, be it observed,

though a

closer investigation

would show that they emanate from the same printing


In

office.

this

manner, the

'*

Jersey Juggler

''

is

easily

transformed into the " Belfast Boaster,'^ and so the

game
to

proceeds.

Carlyle,

The

'^

mostly fools

constitute the

who, according

greater proportion of the

inhabitants of Great Britain,


bait,

''

swallow the disguised

and take for gospel every word they

read, while

the charlatans chuckle over their successful swindle.

Sometimes these catchguU papers are at


harmless, but there
circulation of

aim

is

which

sight

in such cases a supplement, the

is,

of the proprietor.

first

for obvious reasons, the chief

One

of these,

which was sent

by a Newcastle subscriber to Health News, is


styled the " Supplement to Handyside's Monthly

to us

Journal

or.

How

to

Make Money

Preserve Health to Enjoy

it.*'

Easy, and

This

is

How

to

an attractive.

95

though an involved and

Handyside had pretended

make money

ungrammatical,

matters

say

As

is

it

disregard for

total

is

not

grammar,

likely to strain at such a trifle as a bit of

seeing his

to

he would have been

But Handyside

intelligible.

if

how

to tell his readers

easihfy for instance,

somewhat more

title

more important

far

truth, for example.

many

not

years since Handyside kept a

cheap (called in the North, " slop ") boot and shoe
shop in Newcastle-on-Tyne, and as he assures us

through the columns of his paper that he


**

millionaire,''

may

Perhaps, readers

them

natural curiosity

little

into the secret of

think that he

now

is

excited.

is

going to let
"
making a pile by quackery

''

is

he does not, however, and consequently that duty will


devolve upon ourselves later on.

how

notice,

for

make money

to

is

His suggestion of

contained in a two-column

which he has published over and over again

some

time

past,

headed

*^A

Chance

to

Gain

1,000"; which, with the double object of insulting an


honourable
quacks'

medicines

pay

this

associated

profession,

the

depreciating

other

and

the

proprietors

of

patent

In short, Handyside brags that he will

sum

to

any one of these two incongruously

who can prove that Handyside'


not the best yet known for the diseases

classes

remedies are

which he

of

worthless as his own, he offers to the

stuff, as

medical

and

profession,

falsely pretends to cure with them.

settlement

of

this

Pending-

momentous question he says

96

1,000 in the hands of

that lie lias deposited

Watson,

solicitor, of

Newcastle-on-Tyne.

a registered letter to Mr. Watson,

Mr.

We addressed

stating

that

we

accepted the challenge, and undertaking to show not


only that the " Remedies " were not the best known,

In addition, we

but also that they were worthless.

asked Mr. Watson to give us his assurance that the

money was

really in his possession,

and desired him, in

the event of our succeeding, to pay the said

1,000 over

to such local charities as

quently name.

But nothing came

and we sent another registered

sum

we might

of

subse-

in reply for a week,

This elicited a

letter.

communication from Mr. Watson, who turned out

to

be the head of a highly respectable legal firm in


Newcastle, informing us that he was in ignorance of

Handyside^s braggart challenge until he received our


letter

him

and that no money whatever was deposited with

as stated

by Handy side,

so that the deserving poor

of Newcastle will have to go mimis that amount.

Handyside

styles

himself the

" discoverer "

of a

Consumption Cure, a Cancer Cure, a Blood Food, and


other wonderful preparations.

He

asserts that with

their aid he has successfully treated hundreds of cases

of

the

most virulent

" persons
fession,'*

horror,

cancer,

who have been

&c.,

and that

hacked and hewed by the pro-

{otAj italics will suffice

and contemptous

lupus,

him

to emphasise his

superiority), " so as to get at

the root of this loathsome disease, have been in a short

time restored to health and happiness."

Referring

to

97

he writes

Lis untrutliful challenge,

" We

hope in

public interest that the medical pi'ofession, or some

tlie

members may be found with courage enough to


pick up the glove thus defiantly thrown at their feet/'
oi its

Instead of

*'

glove/'

and

letter,

selfish class

empty purse" would have been

we thought,

nearer the mark,

Watson's

*'

after

receiving

Further on, he denounces

whose only aim

is

*'

the sordid

to enrich themselves,

How

regardless of the sufferings of their patients."


like a foul octopus this fellow
all

around him, with his

searching in

prey

it is

he asserts that he does not

incumbent on him

is

Yet, as to

to the public for the sake of profit,

he thinks

blackening

is,

venom, while he

all directions for his

Belling his nostrums,

them

Handyside

filthy

Mr.

but

''

offer

because

to allow his fellow-

creatures an opportunity to share in the benefits of his

What

discovery."
**

To

Hand (y side) some

sentiment

attain this object he has established consulting

rooms with qualified assistants (we underline these words


as

worthy

the

of

Council), '^in

attention of the General Medical

many

of the principal towns,

vans and carriages to the


that in this

way he has

less

What

been the money of

his

says

he has really obtained has

unfortunate

dupes,

mainly

the working classes in Newcastle, Hull, Leeds,

Glasgow, the East


]X)pulous places

he

He

important."

obtained the verdict of the

people in his favour.

among

and sent

styles

''

End

of

London, and many other

where he has established depots, which

Temples of

Health

(!)

"

and

sent

hi\s

98
"qualified

deluded customers

specimen of his

How

The

assistants."

may

consequences

be judged from the following

illegal practice

and

its results.

about other verdicts in the meantime

he carefully ignores.

his

to

Has

These

this self-dubbed

philan-

thropist been so absorbed in his lust of filthy lucre,

that he has

had no

leisure for reading the

newspapers

or has he been utterly indifferent to consequences so

long as he could achieve his purpose


shire

Post of August 30th, 1892, there

?
is

In the Yorka long report

of an inquest as to the cause of death of a labourer at

Lockwood

Joseph

who would most probaWy

Turner

have been alive and well now, had he never heard of


Handyside.
hip-joint,

This poor

man was

suffering

from diseased

and was recommended by Dr. Baldwin

into the infirmary,

where he would be sure

treatment, nursing, and food

to

of

go

good

but one Richard Ayriss,

Handyside' s local representative, persuaded Turner's


wife to fetch the invalid out of the infirmary, in order
that he

might be treated with Handyside's Blood Food

and Liniment.
Turner rapidly became so much worse under
treatment that Dr. Baldwin was again called

in,

this

but

the patient sank before he could be removed a second

The

time to the infirmary.

gave
in

it

the

in his evidence,

as his opinion that if the deceased

infirmary he

would

summing

have

had remained

recovered.

commented on
persons taking the advice and medicine

coroner, in his
of

doctor,

up,

**

The

the folly

of quacks

99
instead of seeking the advice of regular and

skilled

medical practitioners/' and said that the deceased's

death had undoubtedly been accelerated by his taking

Handy side' 8

was his own

fault

that he had not had proper medical treatment.

The

medicine, but that

it

jury returned a verdict that Turner had died of blood


poisoning through hip- joint disease, and that his death

was accelerated by the improper treatment he had


received from Ayriss.

Handy side's

assistant

was actually

at the inquest he admitted that

so ignorant that

he did not even know

that Turner was suffering from disease of the hip-joint.


Certainly,

scarcely to be expected that Handyside's

it is

assistants can

have much medical knowledge, judging

from the information given

to us

by a Newcastle

cor-

respondent that Handyside advertises for assistants in

Our

the Era, a well-known theatrical journal.

pondent

also informs us that

of assistant

went

should require

to

him

corres-

an applicant for the post

Handyside, who told him that he


to

mount

gaudy

chariot,

speak to the crowd every night for two hours.


applicant

suggested that such

remunerated by at

least

ought

services

a week.

and

The
to be

Handyside does

not seem to have been disposed to give his interviewer


a chance to
say, for

**

make money

easy," as he would himself

he remarked with angry warmth,

**

get plenty of lecturers at 258. a week, and

Oh

I'll

I can

not give

any more."
Handyside's own medical knowledge

is,

from the

specimens with which he favours the readers of his

100
*'

Journal/'

no

in

superior

sense

that

to

how he can

It is consequently surprising

assistants.

his

of

have become a millionaire by giving away his remedies


low

at ridiculously

what he
food,

by

loses

as

prices,

he

But, maybe,

says.

his liberality with paiKuls of blood

consumption cure, &c., he makes up for by run-

ning what

is

parlance

for

called a

we

*'

bucket shop

find in the

''

Exchange

in Stock

same paper that he uses

as his organ for dilating on the blessings he has con-

on mankind an announcement that

ferred

Handyside buys and

**

George

sells all

railway stocks and shares

that has no fixed value on the

London Stock Exchange.''

N.B.

The grammar,
We

own.

like the boasted million, is G. H.'s

are not aware,

by the way,

of

any stocks

and shares that has a fixed value on the Exchange.

When we

come

side's writings,

to determine

to look

we

more minutely

which

is

the more prominent trait in his

absolutely unfounded attacks on


profession

one which

last public speech,

reading his

a sordid and selfish


his

rapidly
impudence
ludicrousunfortunately,
scores

also

blunderings regarding the commonest medical


we

are

bound

impudence very

closely.

subject,

On

described as the most humane, most

on considering his

serious

*'

Mr. Gladstone, in almost

self-sacrificing of callings
yet,

Handy

are obliged to confess our inabilit}

character, ignorance or impudence.

*'

into

to

admit that ignorance runs

theory persistently put forward by Handyside

(we do not for a moment think that he believes

it,

101
ignorant as

lie

shows himself

to be), is that " creation

teeming with life-destroying microbes, who^ from

is

their

work

of

people in the

devastration "

Tyne

district

off the track again)

must have teeth

them away

sensible

as

contemptuously

legs to perform locomotion.

the lungs, and eat

Handy,"

(^*

him,

call

to destroy,

These microbes

seize

is

and

upon

they form cancers in

the body, eruptions of the skin, lupus, and runnings of

the body

vousness

they feed upon the nerves and produce nerthey destroy the vigour of the brain, and

produce sleeplessness

indeed, nearly all diseases are

produced by microbic destruction, thus weakening


Doctors give poisons to

parts of the body.

kill

all

them,

but these poisons weaken the whole body, and leave

no vigour in the constitution

What

sale invasion."

drivel

to resist their whole-

what rubbish

what

falsehood

As
poor

if

Handyside had not

dupes

Handy sidean

into
**

enough

said

stampede

towards

to scare his

the nearest

consulting room, van, or carriage," he

gives a sketch of this fearful monster.

How many

thousands of poor creatures clutching at any chance


of

regaining

how many thousands of


how many thousands of ignorant men

lost

nervous people,

health,

and women have been deluded by


of

Handy side's imagination

earnings, to sell their

the

little

to

this horrible fiction

sacrifice

scanty belongings,

their
to

hard

scatter

hoard which they had scraped together for

the time of trouble or of old age, in order to procure

102
the nostrums whicli Handyside assures them will sucNo one
ceed where medical science is of no avail ?

handysitvk's microbe

can

know but

the

(!)

Supreme Being, whose name Handy-

side freely uses after the

blasphemous fashion of quacks,

103
to conceal his ignorance,

and

mask

to

his designs on

his dupes^ pockets.

Naturally, our readers will inquire what

Handyside pretends
cure of the most

afflict

mankind^

swarms

of omni-

which

fell diseases

terrific

according to Handyside, are

vorous animals which,

consuming

that

to have discovered for the certain

and that can cope with the


eagerly

it is

the

lungs

of

one

person,

are

forming cancer and lupus in another, are making a


voracious meal of the nerves of a third, or running
riot in

know,

it is

Treacle,

if

they must

of the

commonest

Well,

the brain of a fourth.

mixed with some

drugs.

There

is

we

another Handysidean preparation which

cannot pass over, namely, the Electric Nervine Snuff.


It

is

sold in a very tiny bottle, as befits so valuable

remedy

cure

tic,

one which, according to the maker,

'*

will

toothache, neuralgia, headache, pains in the

head, inflanamation of the gums, &c., in two or three


It will also " clear the passage

minutes.''

the nerves"

may

(whatever that

harmless and pleasant that a child


that has to be done,

lie

are progressing too fast


to be done,

take

it.''

^'

so

All
is

on a 6d." (making about

four doses in the bottle), and

which has

may

is

says the printed directions,

"to put as much as will

We

mean), and

through

fill
;

your nostrils with

there

and that

is

is

it.

one other thing

to give

Handyside,

or one of his qualified assistants, 13^d. for an article

which " takes the cake " for humbug and worthless-

104
even amongst quack preparations, and that

ness,

is

saying a good deal.

We

Wanklyn, an

following

the

subjoin

report

analytical chemist of

and eminence

by

Professor

European reputation

:
The Laboratory,

New
^*

I have

Snuff

The

analysis of

contained in the

'

official

made an

little

Maiden, Surrey.

The

Electric Nervine

bottle

which bore the

stamp of the Inland Revenue Department.


total contents of the bottle

and consisted

weighed 81 grains,

mixture of carbonate of soda, and

of a

There

chloride of sodium in about equal proportions.


is

a very

little

organic matter, which imparts the odour

to the snuff."
J.

Alfred Wanklyn.

Everyone knows what carbonate of soda


most persons will recognise common table
the

technical

name

of

chloride

of

is

and

salt,

under

sodium.

The

organic matter which gives a slight smell to the stuff


is

a trifling

woman
stuff

amount

could

make

if

old

several pounds' weight of better

than Handyside's Electric Snuff out of

ingredients close at

than

Any

of cheap aromatic spice.

hand

she purchased

common

in her kitchen at a less cost

one

of

Handy side's

bottles

containing only the sixth part of an ounce.

The

action of the moist

the nostril,

when

precious

only, at

mucous membrane lining

a pinch of this precious

Handy side's

compound

exorbitant charge

is

105
snuffed

into

slowly,

and thus create

coolness.

the

Its

nose,

is

cause the salt to melt

to

temporary

sensation

of

continued use would seriously affect the

sense of smell, and produce other injurious effects.

There
is

is

no more

modesty or honesty in

Handyside

to

call

should designate
correct name.

it

it

swindle.

its

" discoverer."

Electric

We have often heard the


It

Stamp

It suits

We

Nervine Snuff.

by a much shorter

that the Patent Medicine


to

than there

electricity in the stuff

is

and

more

remark made

practically a license

would he quite unnecessary

further than Handyside' s Electric Nervine

to

go

Snuff to

fully prove the truthfulness of this observation.

Chapter XII.
Mattei's

Way

'*

Court
a
Exposing Quackery.

Electricities

Oh, dear

of

What can

in

the Mattel be

New Version

In one

of an Old Song.

of the earliest of the series of articles,

we found

reprinted*,

on the so-called
''

Curious

Mattel," and

by Mr. A.

**

it

Electricities,''

the analysis conducted

public

Stokes,

important metropolitan

comment strongly
bearing the name of

our duty to

we showed, by

W.

now

analyst
that

districts,

several

for
of

all

these,

though fantastically distinguished by the vendors as


the blue electricity, the red, and the green (this last
possibly, out of delicate

dupes,

who

compliment

to the Matteist

believe that a few drops of these precious

remedies will

suffice

to

cure

cataract,

or

broken bones), consisted solely of water.


analysis
iiiude

to

unite

Mr. Stokes'

was thoroughly confirmed by an investigation

quite

independently

by

Michaud,

Professor

principal chemist in the Cantonal Laboratory of the

Department

of Justice at

Geneva, whose report was

indentical with that supplied


S3e

by the English

Exi'osuBES OP QuACKEEY, Vol

I.,

page

15.

analyst.

107

Water, "nothing more


call

it,

"

Precious, as the Matteists

much

without doubt, seeing that as

charged

is

for a small phial containing an ounce or so as one

would have

to

pay

to

a water

company

for

5,000

gallons.

The

we published failed to give ungratification to Mattei's London agent.


Some

revelations

alloyed

of our readers

might think patent medicine men would

be the last people to object to a widespread gratuitous


advertisement, so partial are they to advertising their

nostrums anywhere and everywhere

in

newspapers,

pamphlets, and handbills, on walls, omnibuses, bathing

machines, and even the


the railways,
over,

down low on

and even

But there

a loss to understand

to

much

clouds,

a time

is

detest, publicity,

when Truth comes on


of so

the pavements

up amongst the

or high

electric flashes.
trust,

sails of fishing-boats,

the scene.

we walk

by means

when they

and that

is

of

dis-

apparently

Otherwise,

why we have

alongside

we

are at

been the recipients

abuse (generally anonymous, yet referring

some particular

article),

and

of so

legal consequences after exposing the

many

threats of

sham pretensions

of this or that patent medicine.

To return

to Mattei's

London

agent, however,

He

sent us the usual deprecatory letter, concluding with


threats

and hints

of dire results should

we venture

again to say a word in disparagement of the Mattei


preparations.

Our

his letter the

same publicity

best and only answer

was

to give

in our journal that

had

108
given to the analysis and
worthless Mattei " Electricities "

received no

the

following

more communications from


London agent, or from any legal quarter,

to say that

Mattei' s

although

appeared in

an

announcement

mysterious

paper

evening

**

Count

Colyer and Colyer,

Messrs.

solicitors,

Count has determined

defend his medical system

to

by numerous English

an action for

We

them."

libel

Mattei's

say that the

made upon

against the attacks which have lately been


it

com-

at the

It is almost needless

of this editoral note.

we

the

and we used the

same heading for our reply that appears

mencement

upon

reports

"been

and that a writ for

journals,

has already been served upon one of

can only observe, with regard to this

terrible threat, that either Mattel's black list is a

very

long one, so that our name has not yet been reached,
or that the single writ alleged to have been issued

have been withdrawn, for no such action as

announced has been

tried in the

High Court

although two years have elapsed

must

grandly

is

of Justice,

since

the

notice

cropped

up

lately,

appeared.

Mattei

^'

Electricities

broken out in
in

new

have

''

place, as it were,

for

we

read,

Derbyshire newspaper, which one of our sub-

scribers kindly sent to our office, a curiously significant

report of some proceedings at the


Court.
**

woman named

Worksop County

Blakeley, styling herself a

female physician," sued a number of people

she

had

supplied

with

"'

the

whom

Mattei remedy,"

but

109
several of the defendants asserted that the pretended

remedy was absolutely worthless, and


handed

their statements

in support of

judge sundry bottles


with which the " female

to the

containing samples of the

fluid,

physician*^ had supplied them.

His Honour, Judge

Masterman, adjourned the cases in order

that the

county analyst might examine the samples and report


to the CJourt at the

however,
'^

Women

and the

''

the

next

Before that time,

sitting,

had withdrawn

plantiff

the

actions.

were deceivers ever/' as the old song


female physician

may have

'"

the proverbial fickleness of her sex

says,

displayed only

but

it is

a very

suggestive coincidence that the county analyst reported


that he

had not discovered any other substance than

water in the bottles.

Water,

^'

honest water,'' as Shakespeare called you

Timon of Athem, to what base uses may you be put


when you fall into the hands of a quack

in

We

have received

letters

from many correspondents

directing our attention to the fact that a certain weekly

paper has lately assumed to


exposures of quackery

wake

of

of articles,

some

great credit for

itself

its

following apparently in the

which were published by us

years ago, indeed, even previous to the existence of the

journal in question.
journal

might

is

We

are glad to find that another

taking the matter up

feel still

more pleased

though, perhaps, we

if its

editor

would do us

the ordinary courtesy to acknowledge his obligations


to us.

110

Nor can we say

that

we

appreciate his

quack preparations, seeing

treating

the

method

of

unblushing

announcements with which the advertisement columns

One

of our contemporary, Science Siftings^ abound.

of

our correspondents states that he counted a dozen such


in one number.

an

containing

Quite likely, for in the latest issue,


adverse

article

concerning

Clarke's

Blood Mixture, we came across advertisements of Eno,

Beecham,

and

Holloway,

medicine men.

other

we observed no

Curiously enough

advertisement of Clarke's Blood Mixture.

Is this to

be regarded as an instance of Cause and Effect

Presuming that

Science

patent

notorious

Siftings

in

is

earnest

in

exposing quackery, the appearance of Eno's, Holloway's,

and Beecham's advertisements must have arisen

However

through some inexpKcable accident.

may

we

be,

are sure of one thing, namely, that

dents

somewhat incredulous

having followed in our track


will

go a

we

fewer communications from correspon-

receive

shall

this

little

farther,

as

to its sincereity,

so far.

Science

by adopting our

rule,

if,

Siftings
'*

Quack

advertisements rigorously excluded," and acting up


to

it.

Its statements

respect,

would then be en

tied to

more

and would carry more weight with people who

rightly

now comment
to

decide

upon

or wrongly,

we do not

the singular anomaly

of

profess

a journal

attacking a few quacks and tacitly aiding and abetting

a crowd of others, by inserting their advertisements.

Chapter XIII.
St. Jacob's Oil
Patent Medicine Testimonials
The Man who
Clarke's Blood Mixture
GAVE HIMSELF A TESTIMONIAL
Eno's FrUIT
;

Salt.

"

Men

often swallow falsities for truih,^^-

Sir

The worthy

old

Norwich

writings are as sound

now

Thomas Browne; M.D.

whose philosophic

doctor,
as

when they were penned

more than 200 years ago, would have found


difficulty

in proving this

axiom

for

little

he would need

only to direct the attention of any sceptical individual


to the first

batch of quack puffs and testimonials that

might come

to hand.

than one chapter in


subject
if

we

''

We

have already devoted more

Exposures of Quackery

'^

to this

but scores of pages might be written upon

cared to pursue such a theme.

quack medicines generally, we

feel

In dealing with

somewhat in the

position of a guide conducting a stranger across a

we need only
to the

indicate the rottenest parts,

bog

and leave

good sense and intelligence of our companion

form an accurate opinion

of the rest.

it,

it

to

112

Quack
those

testimonials

may be

given in error,

the

divided into three classes,

probably

and th

The persons who furnish the

palpably forged.

Their reasoning power

of the community.

grammar

first

most ignorant section

class are almost invariably of the

as their

false,

as feeble

is

yet they assume an ofE-hand know-

ledge of the nature of diseases which would be almost

presumptuous

in

They

experience.

physician

or

surgeon of great

are as ready in diagnosis as

their lifetime

had been given

result is that

an ordinary cough

sumption in

its

last stage, that

magnified into con-

an obscure tumour

declared to be cancer, and that any


position

is,

and the

to special study,
is

all

if

common

indis-

An

in their estimation, a serious illness.

advertisement happens to attract their notice

swallow the contents of a box of Fleecem's

is

they

pills,

or

they diligently rub in a potful of Gulloway's ointment,


and, the cough disappearing, or the swelling subsiding,

they communicate the wonderful fact to some patent


medicine man,

who spends hundreds

lishing to the world that A.B., or


of consumption, cancer, &c.

gives the certificate, has

of

pounds in pub-

CD., has been cured

The poor ignoramus who

made

a double blunder, in

mistaking the character of his ailment, and in overlooking the fact that any aperient or brisk rubbing, as
the case

It is

may

be,

would have soon

set

him

very unfair, to say the least of

patent medicine

man

carefully touches

right.

it,

up the

that the
spelling

and grammar of every such testimonial before putting

113
it

into print

public

the

since

deprived of an

are

opportunity of judging what manner of individual

who has given

Some time

the certificate.

read such a remarkable account of a


to

have been wrought by

it is

ago,

Jacob's Oil (turpentine

St.

and camphor, scented) that we thought

it

incumbent

The

on us to obtain some supplementary information.


narrative, as detailed
effect that a 5^oung

been suffering for

we

miracle " claimed

'*

by a grateful

father,

was

to the

man, living in Leicestershire, had


years from a mysterious rheu-

five

matic affection, that he had been under the treatment

many

of

that

''

doctors, as well as at various hospitals,

the most clebrated medical


'^

Counties

(a large order,

case to be incurable.

this

few

!)

men

of the

and

Midland

had pronounced

his

bottles of St. Jacob's Oil

were bought on the recommendation of a sympathising


neighbour

our readers

will begin to guess the rest

and in a short time the young man made a complete

We

recovery.

wrote to the father, of

pected an intelligible reply, for


so

whom we

ex-

we had not then dipped

deeply into the patent medicine well, in our quest of

What we

Truth.

munication

did get was

'*In ancey to yours of this

ask

me

to sta.tc the case of

Leicester

has past

the following com-

was

away

morning which we rece^d, you

my

son, the tretment

he recevd at

and from an old Docker which


then, and then he '* (the son we imagine, not

at the infermery
since

the Docker), **was sent to the Devenshire Hospital, Buxton,

and from

their he

was sent home quite a

crip2)le

on cruthes,

114
and was

al

formes and then

them

greate faith in

We were

as

gat the

oil

and

have the same

always have done."

by our attempts

so utterly prostrated

to

al
make out what all this meant, that we were
before we came to a conclusion and fearing
formes
'*

''

that further correspondents

might bring us

desperate pass as the other

prudent to discontinue

it

any number

of

^*

same

Docker/' we deemed

*^

besides which,

been obviously an unequal contest,


of

to the

dockers, ''

to

it

it

would have

put the testimony

hospital

or

private,

against that of a person of the deponent's learning and


scientific attainments.

We

need not dwell at any length upon the probably

false class of testimonials.

resemblance

They have a strong family

they seldom descend to such

as names, addresses,

these deficiencies

and dates

by constant

trivialities

but they make up for

assertions of

continuous suffering on the part of

many

^,he patient,

years'

and of

similarly long period of impotent ignorance on the part


of medical
to

know

men who were

so

profoundly stupid as not

that SheguU's Treacle or some other quack

nostrum would have cured the case in a

jiffey.

But

it

when we come
that we begin to

is

certificate

to

the palpably forged

realise

extent to which a patent medicine

some idea

man

will go.

of the

Until

Bome two or three years ago the lengthy advertisements


of Clarke's Blood Mixture wound up with the following
testimonial

115
**

Clarke's Blood Mixture is entirely free

and

is

a good,

and useful medicine,

safe,

from any poison or

any injurious

metaUi<i impregnation^ does not coiitain

Alfred

M,D,, F,B,S*, Lecturer on Medical Jurisprudence and

We

were astonished on reading

certain that not a single

ever penned

by the

word

late Dr.

this

ingredient^

Swains Taylor^
Toxicology,*^

and we were

of this certificate

was

As a

Swaine Taylor.

matter of fact he had, during his lifetime, exposed the


pretensions of Clarke's Blood Mixture in a letter published in the Lancet, 1875, in
that,

which occurs the remark

**The sale of medicines of this kind should be

strictly prohibited, unless the bottles

them

containing

were issued with a caution label setting forth their true


composition.' It

know what he

only reasonable that a person should

is

purchasing.''

is

prietors of Clarke's

questions, easy

Blood Mixture

enough

to deal with, viz.

We

for

invited the pro-

answer four plain

to

any straightforward person

When, where, and under what


1.

circumstances, did Dr. Swaine Taylor give the alleged


testimonial

nessed

3.

inspected

2.

By

whom was

the signature

When and where could the


Why did the proprietors

original be

Mixture withhold from the public knowledge


portant a document until years

death

we

Blood

of the

4.

Though we

after

wit-

Dr.

so

im-

Taylor's

registered this communication, as

did several subsequent letters, they did not venture

on a reply.
certificate,

They

which, for

suddenly

withdrew

the

bogus

many months, they had paraded

every newspaper throughout the land

in

but not a word of

answer or explanation did the\ vouchsafe.

They had

116

none

to give.

Th^ whole

affair

was palpably

false

their

conduct and their silence under exposure, showed


and,

we

on,

later

incontestably

The

testimonial was a forgery.

chapter

the present
articles,

story

is

that

the

too long for

has appeared in other


and will be found in detail in " Exposures of

The

Quackery.''

''world- famed''
of

but

proved

it,

it

proprietors

of

the

self-dubbed

Blood Mixture, boast of their thousands

"wonderful"

testimonials.

ful " in a falsehood, even if

it

What

is

there "wonder-

be repeated thousands of

tunes ?

The only thing wonderful about

cular one

is

that

its

perpetrators have been additionally

guilty of a cruel, revengeful outrage


spotless reputation

this parti-

and

upon a dead man's


which

this alleged certificate

we have demonstrated to be a deliberate

untruth,

makes

one very sceptical as to the origin of the others.

In

France, Germany, and some other continental countries,


the authorities would, on the circumstances being

known, have

tal^en steps to

made

punish the perpetrators of

such a x>ublic fraud*.

From
relief

to

such a repulsive subject we turn with some

what may by termed the humorous aspect

*
An excellent paper, tb Health News, has been publishing
analyses of most of the patent medicines now being put before the
Not only are these
public, and the result is not a little startling.
nostrums actually useless in every case, from a medicinal point of
view, but in the majority of instances they are actually injurious to
the brainless idiots who purchase these pills, lotion.s, and mixtures.
Further, in some cases bogus testimonials are used to bolster up these
worthless compounds, Hnd other scandalous means used to deceive the
In one or two cases the services of the Public
public in the matter.
Whitehall lievicw.
Prosecutor seem urgently needed."
'

'

117
patent medicine testimonials.

of

and

typhoid

other

some

appeared in

were

fevers

daily

worded paragraph, inserted

curiously

there

prevalent,

London

the

of

Last year, wliea

papers

amongst

the

reading matter, but evidently to the initiated eye a

The Dowry of a
Nation/^
" The names and
It began as follows
memories of great men are the dowry of a nation in
headed

flimsily veiled advertisement,

death as well as in

life.'^

though rather mixed

^*

noble sentiment, truly,

for the memories (using the

word

any men, great or other-

in the sense implied here) of

But we read
be rewarded by an anecdote of some

wise, could not exist during their lives.


on,

hoping

to

We

man.

great

were disappointed, for the only

individual mentioned was one

who would hardly be

accepted by any nation as the equivalent of a dowry,

whether living or dead


late

unless he should imitate the

HoUoway, and endow a

lunatic asylum as a fitting

memorial of the implicit faith which his credulous


customers had in the remedial powers of his patent
medicine,

rather,

or,

in the statements

made

in his

advertisements.
*^

fever,

J.

my

I used

Fruit Salt freely in

and I have every reason


C.

Eno.'^

here; then,

is

Here, then,

the great

the opening sentence.

man

is

at

our

valuation

last attack of

to say it saved

my

the dowry of a nation

There would be as much

and

life.
;

so delicately alluded to in

ence, comparatively speaking,

Eno

my

between buying

selling

him

at

his

differJ.

C.

own,

118
as there

market

would be between buying Epsom


cost,

and

selling

Eno's Fruit Salt

them

Salts at their

at the price

charged for

except that in the latter case the

transaction would be nearly all profit.

But

has proved himself great in one respect

the wind out of his envying rivals'

sails,

of

which

C.

J.

he has taker

and beaten the

record by giving himself a testimonial.


for medical science,

Eno

J. C.

Unfortunately

Eno

poses as a

shining light, the particulars furnished of his interest-

ing case are too mysterious and brief to be instructive.

We

can understand his using his

though

it is

own nostrum

freely,

very costly to other people, considering the

commonness and cheapness

of its ingredients

but, to

enable any one to profit by his experience, he ought to

have stated

if

he knew

what

that he was suffering from, and

kind of fever

what was

it

was

his reason for

thinking that his stuff saved so valuable a

He

life.

speaks of the illness as his last attack, from which


are led to conclude that he has

from the same

Why

cause.

J.

had previous

we

illnesses

C. Eno, with such a

miracle-working preparation at his command, should

have allowed himself

why he

to

have more than a single attack,

should not have cut short such an objection-

able tendency to fever

that his treatment

unless

he had his misgivings

might cut short

J. C.

Eno, too

we

are equally at a loss to understand.


Still,

we cannot help admiring

rashness.

his enthusiasm, or his

Judging from our experience of forty

medical practice,

we should

hesitate

to

years'

administer,

119
either to a patient or to ourselves,

might lead

it

to a verdict of

from a coroner's jury, in the


*'

Serve him

right,''

salts

not a doctor

in the

Manslaughter

latter to a verdict of

from professional men, who presu-

mably know something about such matters.


is

from

suffering

Epsom

typhoid fever, say, large doses of

former case

if

he belongs to a

J. 0.

Eno

class that fields easy

advertising and indiscriminate dragging more remunerative than hard

work and discriminative

Where ignorance is bliss, 'tis


quack may think, when Judges,

folly to be wise," a

**

upon the principle that


slaughter by quacks.
is

a favourite

of his ofEence, that he

Eno's

much

in

Yet,
a

'^

sugar.
into

man

pleads, in extenuation

was ignorant

of

Law.

Carbonate

of soda,

bicarbonate of potash, and

salts,

a tablespoon ful of this

water and stirred up,

The only

man-

advertised Fruit Salt consists of the

Epsom

When

up, act
''

Ignorantia non excmat^^^

following inexpensive ingredients


tartaric acid,

summing

Ignorance excuses

*^

maxim when

diagnosis.

powder

effervescence

is

is

put

caused.

constituents which are in the remotest degree

connected with fruit are the tartaric acid and sugar


is

that obtained from the sugar-cane and

fruit,

while the tartaric acid, carbonate of

but the sugar


not from

soda, bicarbonate of potash,

and Epsom

readily

procurable

of

magnesia)

are

quantities, at trifling cost,

salts (sulphate

in

enormous

from the waste products

various chemical manufactures.

who have

of

There are few persons

not some knowledge of these articles in their

120
undisguised condition, and fewer
idiotic as to

still

imagine that Epsom

salts

berry bushes or at the top of cherry

The
and as

title

of " Fruit Salt

''

who would

grew on goose-

trees.

entirely a misnomer,

is

deliberately misleading as

Eno's untrue

sertions that such simple substances as

mentioned,

the

^'

cure

will

every

great man^s fever

coloured

'^

we have

conceivable

as-

just

complaint,

included, or as his gaily

advertisements,

pictorial

be so

in

which

pines,

melons, peaches, and other choice fruits are profusely


displayed, in order to
horticultural

making the

make people

believe that these

and greenhouse treasures are


*'

Fruit Salt."

into that stuff

Eno's Hatcham

No

fruit

utilised in

whatever enters

and none, indeed, ever enters into

Works

save, perhaps,

now and then an

orange in the pocket of some small boy engaged there


in

the lucrative process of

converting

"Fruit"

into ''Fruit Salt.''

is

Epsom

salts

a short, catchy, and

catch-penny word, but the Chinese have a shorter, and

more expressive term when they


article, "

Lie " tea

call a certain

spurious

Chapter XIV.

Handy "

*^

"

fool

is

make an ugly deed

came

it

Shuffling.

nauseous, hut a coward

" Striving to

When

Still

to our

is

/'*

worse

look fair,

Dryden.

Shakespeare.

^^

knowledge that Handyside, of

Newcastle, had put forth in his obscure puffing paper,


his challenge

(!)

up, as already described in chapter

found that

it

A week

staked in good keeping.


of (mr article,
to

us,

XI

was an impudent piece of brag, and that

he had falsely stated that the

write

we took it
but we soon

to the medical profession,

sum

of

1,000 was

after the publication

Handy summed up sufficient pluck to


goaded thereto, we imagine, by the

vigorous remonstrances of a highly respectable firm of


solicitors

at the

unwarrantable employment of their

They should have prosecuted him for using it


Of course, after our serious charges any
fraudulently.
one would have supposed that the delay might be due to

name.

indignation too great for utterance, and that '^Handy's'*


letter

would be couched

ever,

but a tame

in

epistle,

angry terms.

Not

so,

how-

the only bad language in

which were the shockingly bad grammar, and the

122
equally defective spelling characteristic of Handysidean

Handy/' with

**

literature.

bounce,

all his

knew

his

book too well to invite additional exposures of his


worthless stuff

by

contradiction,

and he merely talked

round the question, without touching


ful dove,'' or

^^

The

it.

''

wrath-

most magnanimous mouse " would have

been more energetic in the defensive.

Here

is

"

Handy's "

letter
'*

Bentinck Crescent,

12,

Newcastle-on-Tyne,
Oct.

To tte Editor
Dear

Sir,

You

1894.

of health news.

have wrote to Messrs. Watson of

concerning a Challenge I made.


for 1,000

6tli,

and challenged

all

this City

them check
the world when

I deposited with

the Doctors in

the challenge was not accepted I withdrew the check but I

ready to deposit
it

it

again

if

you

will deposit the

tested in all the principill towns in the

doctors in the world to assist you.

This

Kingdom with
is

am

same and have


all

not a medicine

simply unrefined boiled vegetables sweetened up to make

the
it is

it

as

palatable as possible.

Yours

truly,

G. Handyside.

It

is

'^

a pity that

Handy/' who

is

as unrefined,

apparently, as the boiled vegetables which have raised

him from the

**

slop

'^

boot and shoe shop of his earlier

days to the position of the proud millionaire


designates himself), does not keep one of the
assistants,''

whom

*^

(as

he

qualified

he locates at his numerous consulting

rooms, at Bentinck Crescent, to write his letters for

him,

or,

failing that,

bribe a boy from the nearest

123

Board School with an occasional sixpence

to act in that

much

occupied in

he

Evidently,

capacity.

too

is

writing his checks and in his bucket-shop transactions,


^

begin learning

to
^'

Principill"

is

common grammar and


humorous rendering

coming from a quack


funny

as "

though not

Handy's " invitation

the world to take part in a tour

by

^^

Handy," we presume

pill "

towns

assisting us in
tables," plus

already
""

the

in

spelling now.

of the word, as

so excruciatingly

to all the doctors in

personally

through

all

the ^^princi-

kingdom, for the purpose


''

his

testing

accomplished, and

The

has been

test

we do not

Handy's " transparent equivocations.

any of

desire

Even

his boy-

us that treacle was obtained

tell

of

unrefined boiled vege-

unrefined treacle.

secretary could

conducted

by

boiling vegetable matter, in the shape of sugar canes.

''

But, on trying to extract some little sense from


Ilandy's " epistle, we find that he has in his ignorance

set

us an impossible task,

viz.,

to

deposit the same

cheque that he deposits, and then to have

cheque tested by

would be
to

all

accomplish the impracticable

And,

letter,

after

when done

deliberate

all,

of

the

feat

It

quacks than

suggested

by

what does ''Handy's"

into English,

ignoring

same

the doctors in the world.

easier to expose all the unrefined

''Handy."

this

amount

terms

of

To a

to ?

his

original

challenge, to a miserable shuffle and equivocation, and


to a transparent effort to hide his discomfiture

empty brag.

If

behind

he means business, as the sporting

124
papers say,
place,

if lie

is

honest in his

reallj"

not a check, but

Bank

of

offer, let

England

him
in

notes,

responsible hands for the specific purpose of paying

over to our nominees


his

when we have proved both

vaunted remedies are not only not the

that they are worthless

It

it

that

best,

but

would not be long before

the 1,000 were distributed amongst deserving

New-

The money would, having regard


to the unscrupulous way in which he has made it, be
filthy lucre, indeed, when it left his possession " for aye
castle

and

charities.

would be

for ever,'' but the dross

own term)

refined

Further, have
regardless

acquired

of

by the use

which

it

we not a precedent for


the manner in which

Certainly

to

(to

was

applied.

accepting
it

it,

had been

on a particular occasion,

for

when General Booth was


donation to the Salvation

borrow his

criticised

Army

for

receiving a

funds from a peer of

very questionable character, the General retorted with


considerable emphasis, that

if

the Devil himself sent a

contribution, he (the General) should feel justified in

taking

it,

on account of the noble use to which

it

would

be put.

Like a whipped
distance,

'^

Handy

cur,
'^

doing a stealthy growl at a safe

has since issued a handbill, headed

''The 1,000 Challenge likely to be accepted by a

Doctor and Editor."

We

withhold praise where due,

it

a rule never to

therefore hasten to

''Handy" on having apparently followed


we gave him in Health JNews, and having

congratulate
the adA ice

make
and we

125

engaged a boy from the nearest Board School

him

" Check

we thought,
is now spelt

''

'*

as

signs

Handy

"

principal,^'

and other marked

grammar by
sentiments "

are

are

''

and

Here and there

the

them's

my

Handy's

**

common

thick and dark as the

as

^*

spoils

the all-pervading note of the illiterate

is

'^

black

an extent, indeed, that a Newcastle

to such

correspondent
barrels of

On

he

which constitutes the chief ingredient of his

treacle,

" cure

But though

present.

dictating the words

and incoherent document.


ideas

'*

not wield the pen,

does

eyes.

^' principiU "


has

improvement

of

we rubbed our puzzled

" cheque

been translated into "


"

" Oh, dear, what a

in his literary compositions.

surprise

to assist

it

tells

us that he has seen as

delivered at

bystander

no

have

(prophets

Handy's

when

another occasion,

arrived,

^'

" place at

treacly

sarcastically

as nine

one time.

consignment

asked

'^

Handy

'*

own country,
Handysidean stamp, who would

praise

especially those of the

many

in

their

why

doubtless spell the

word

black beer,

change from the perpetual black

treacle ?

as
''It

''

profits ")

he did not use

would ferment too much," responded

the artful ''Handy," and, he might have added,

would

To
still

cost too

much.

return, however, to
shuffles

challenge
short,

now

it

"Handy's"

manifesto.

He

and prevaricates over the terms of the


as formerly printed they

there

is

were plain and

a long rigmarole, as follows:

terms of the contest are as follows

That

"The
all

the

principal towns in the

kingdom be

visited once a fort-

night, and Handyside's Consumption Cure be given to

those

who

require

who need

also to all
all

and

it,

doctors' medicine to be given

At

it.

the end of twelve months

Those who have taken

the patients to assemble.

Handy side's Consumption Cure to stand on one side,


and those who have taken doctors' medicine to stand on
the other.
Each patient to make a statement of what
each medicine has done for them, and

let

the majorisy

(we think ''Handy means ''majority,'' but we must


give the terms as they are printed) "decide.
surely

must be

fair

This

and honest, for the people must be

the best judges of what has done them most good."

This rigmarole

is

merely a

sort of

the eyes of his poor deluded dupes,


to realise the extent to

bugged by

"

Handy," and

and honest " on

who

are beginning

which they have been humit

would not take any

study of the new terms to show that


fair

dust-throwing in

it

" surely

" Handy' s " part, if

close

must be

he had any

faith whatever in the healing properties of the contents

of his treacle-tubs, to stand

We

by

his original challenge.

have already stated that his fresh proposition

that " all the doctors in the world " should visit all the
^'

principill

testing his

perhaps "

towns in the kingdom,"


stuff

Handy

of principal

(i.e.^

Ireland as he

is

to

assist

was ludicrously impossible.


"

us

in

Stay

may

be as ignorant of the number

large)

towns in Great Britain and

of

many

other matters on which he

might with advantage consult the Board School boy.

127

We have

amount

a fair

of energy

whether travelling with


for twelve

jump up

or

all

hey

months

railway shares would

in prospect of such an extra

alone,

we

journey to

all

could not, nor could

*'

amount

still

less

Handy

kingdom

twenty-six times in the

Besides this drawback, there are

course of the year.

other points on which

'*

Handy

has evidently not

'^

taken the boy into his confidence,


intelligent youngster

the exposure in

of traflBc

" himself,

the important towns in the

once a fortnight,

but

the doctors in the world

how

and endurance

otherwise,

would have suggested

Health

that

that, since

New^s, there would,

if

lunatic

asylums were barred from participating in the contest,


be no

small

difficulty in

finding enough people to

"require" *'Handy's" stuff;

and water, made

to taste

the mess with a

common

multitude,

who

are

passed one of

misleading

black treacle

more physicky by flavouring


bitter

would not charm the

beginning to get a

by the

already, judging

common

fact that

little

when we

recently

^'Handy's" Temples of Health

name he

o'clock p.m., on a

'*

gives to his shops


free distribution

about

nighf

wiser

the
eight

(locality,

the Commercial Road, E.), there

was only one patient

scared-looking youth,

apparently contem-

visible,

plating a bolt as soon

as

the " qualified

assistant

(Handy' s term for a shopman) had turned away

to

reach a sample bottle from the shelf.

Again, a

still

we have
knowing what we do of

greater difficulty than those

referred to presents

itself.

If,

128
the composition of

Handy's Cure," and

^'

its

uselessness

in the treatment of cases of actual cancer and con-

sumption,

we were

to countenance ite administration to

any person suffering from either

we should most

that person died,


selves

open

of these diseases,

to the criminal

to manslaughter, while "

and

assuredly lay our-

charge of being accessory

Handy," not being a

qualified

medical practitioner, would have the benefit of the


doubt, beause, being ignorant of medical matters,

would be assumed that he had acted


ability.

Such

to the best of his

the glorious state of English

is

it

Law

at

the end of this enlightened, nineteenth century.

" Handy's

dodges and mean attempts to

*'

shuffle out

of the consequences of his original challenge,


to deprive the

Newcastle poor of some restitution of

what he has robbed them


glibly of

what

is

talking utter nonsense,

is

make

belief that

themselves to every sensible person.


stuff tested

skilled analysts,

commend

other, should

One

to abide

by

he prefer a legal

their decision.

have

determine which of us
deposit

the

is

in the right.

1,000

individual's hands, in the

of

The

to a scientific verdict, is

to proceed against us in a court of law,

previously

is to

by a previously agreed number


and

he

There are two ways in which

to the point.

the matter can be settled, and which will

his

speaks

" fair and honest," yet all the while

a sort of goose-step of rhetoric, to

coming

He

of will not wash.

he must be conscious that he

is

and thus

form

in

and

let a

jury

But he nmst

some responsible

of bank-notes or coin,

129
not " a
to

mn

We

checky^^ as lie offers to do.

should not care

the risk of having to waste our time over a

second action about his chequa

As

regards the rest of his windy and evasive answer

to our exposures,

we have only

state that it is all ridiculous,

those portions of

it

which are

space enough left to

with the exception of


false.

We notice that

he carefully avoids giving the name of our journal,


presumably because he

make

it

known,

lest

is

not particularly anxious to

people should read our articles for

themselves, aud not be content with his garbled and


incorrect version of them.

Chapter XV.

The Sequah Bubble Burst;

QuAK Newspapers;
Translation

" Exposures

of

Quackery "

of

FOR India.

Several

of our readers

of bogus

men

have forwarded

newspapers circulated by patent medicine

for the purpose of puflB.ng their wares

same deceptive character


in a recent article in

these which has

Telegram.

specimens

to us

No

come

as those

which we described

Health News.
to

hand

is

The

name

and the only address and date vouchsafed are

is
'^

it

is

it

is

2d.

of

given,

London,

It is styled " No. 6, Vol. V.",

the price marked on

than any other,

last

called the Evening

printer's or publisher's

October, 1895."

the

all of

Why

difficult to say.

this

and

sum more

Possibly, the

editing was left to an office-boy, and as no previous


issue of the Evening Telegram

had ever been published,

notwithstanding the deliberate falsehood contained in

"No.

6,

Vol. v.", the boy, recognising the fact that

the broad- sheet was worth nothing, repeated to himself


the vulgar saying, " Twopence more, and up goes the
donkey " and putting 2d. more than its value on the
!

front page, left the rest of the matter to the donkey,

namely, that section of the British Public which

is

131
always ready to swallow any quantity of

How many

quack nostrums.

and of

lies

millions of No.

6,

Vol. Y.

Hood's Sarsaparilla Syndicate have dosed the poor

donkey with we cannot say

but

we may mention

that

on the same day that our subscriber sent us a copy, one

was thrust into our

men

letter-box,

and we,

later on,

saw

actively distributing gratis this curious evening

newspaper, the only No. that the publisher could produce,

even

he were offered 1,000 instead of 2d. for any

if

other published previous to

it.

It

trated with portraits of people

who

may

quack
**

be

imagine she

now
is

of that

we

the usual

equal- -by her portrait

very willing

to

of

" another announces

we should not

doing house cleaning

while a third assures us that she,

work.

as

One woman was cured

hardly daring to go upstairs


is

are said to have

classified, describe their cases in

literature fashion.

that she

profusely illus-

" Hood's Own,"

experienced wonderful results.

they

is

now

too, is

From her likeness, which appears to


of Her Eoyal Highness the Princess

able to

be a copy
of Wales,

should not think that she has any occasion to put

her powers to the

know

test.

It

is

something, though, to

that this delicate creature,

was formerly a martyr


her stomach

woman

''

to

'^

who

tells

us that she

nervous spells," and that

bloated " after eating, must be a thorough

of business, for she

winds up a long

letter,

with. a feminine P.S., but with an emphatic

Take only Hood's."

Anyone would be

judge from the peculiar finish to this

**

not

N.B.

disposed

letter that

to

Miss

132
Smitli, of

America, had a direct interest in pushing the

and mixture.

pills

Interspersed with the gushing

testimonials in the Evening Telegraniy all presenting

such a strong family resemblance that they might

have been written by the same individual, there are

some

these is
is

The longest of
"
headed,
In Scotland Yard," and that locality

articles of a general character.

such an appropriate one for a sham newspaper

publisher to find himself in, that

we

will leave

him

there.

We

turn with a feeling of relief to another paper,

the Financial Times of October 3rd, which has an

amusing and instructive


to

Sequah/'

From

this

leader, entitled "

we

The Sequel

learn that Sequah, Limited,

has contrived to get rid of a quarter of a million


of pounds sterling extracted five years ago
gullible British Public.

sum

In return for

from the

this magnificent

the shareholders obtained the proprietorship of

the Sequah Prairie Flower Mixture and Sequah Oil;

both of which, as we have proved in " Exposures of

Quackery," Vol.

on the Sequah
little

I.,

are utter rubbish.

stuff"

Our

first article

was published in 1892, and some

time afterwards, at a meeting of the Company,

the chairman gave us a gratuitous testimonal, as to the

we were

doing, for he attributed the

falling position of the

Company, and the absence of

public service

any

profits (in

1890

paid 14 per cent.), to the injury

it

which we had done

it.

Gross ingratitude,

this,

return for the widely spread advertisement which

in

we

133

made the Company a present of


But, then, there are
times when even a patent medicine man shrinks from
!

and

publicity,

this

was

We

one.

gave the analyses by

Mr. Stokes, F.O.S., of their common


(*'

Prairie

Flower ") and of their " fishy

showed that

compound

aloetic

''

"

and the company

Humpty Dumpty, beyond possibility


reconstruction.
It has now reached the final stage
fell,

we

were only

their pretended Indian lecturers

ignorant, impudent " cheap Jacks

oil

like

of
of

liquidation.

Speaking of

we

Indians,

sham North American

the Sequah

are reminded of a letter, dated Sept. 17th,

we have

1895, which

received from a large firm in

Lahore, India, Sada Nand, Brothers, asking permission


to translate various portions of our published

of

Quackery

''

^^

Exposures

into the vernacular tongue, with a view

to circulating the facts therein contained, very widely

amongst the native population, so

as to

open their eyes

to the real character of the English

and American

quack medicines which are now sold enormously in


India.

We

pleasure,

have given the desired leave with much

and we cannot help,

at the

same time, con-

trasting Messrs. Sada Nand's courteous request with

the conduct of some

London

papers, which have appro-

priated our articles for some years past without the


slightest

trouble

acknowledgement,

or

taking

any

further

than to flimsily disguise the matter before

publication.

Chapter XVI.

Fever Curer.

Fenning's

^^

All maladies

kinds

all feverous

^^

MiLTON.

These few words, quoted from the great


is

subject.

which poor human

But great men

are neither limited

ills

nor to any particular epoch, so that

to poets

convey

to

a concise idea of the

nature

many

poet,

it

happens

that, at the present day, there exists another great

man

who, according to his own assertions, can get rid of


" all maladies
all feverous kinds " in an incredibly

short

space

of

This

time.

remarkable

individual does not seem to be in the least degree

troubled with the modesty usually found in connection

with real genius, for he

and

will,

giving

**

therefore,

puflFs

doubtless

bold advertisement

^'

his wares extensively,

be obliged to us for
(gratuitous, too) to his

name ^Alfred Fennings, West Oowes, Isle of Wight.


Our enquiries into his medical credentials have, as we
expected, led only to negative results.

However,
can do
stood.

let

us see what he has done, and what he

only according
We

" dare do

to his

own

all thai

account, be

it

under-

does become a

man,"

135

we must ask our readers not to make such


demand upon our courage or our credulity

but

a great

as

to

require us to vouch for a single iota of Alfred Fennings*


assertions.

Well, he

is

the author of a pamphlet called Every


or,

WTien

at the contents of

which

body^s Doctor

is

III,

How

Get Well, a glance

to

suffices to

show that

all

that

requisite is to take Fennings' This or Fennings' That.

As

to

what he can do

says he can do

here

is

of course,

we mean what he

a specimen.

He

is

describing

the marvellous effects of one of his nostrums, Fennings'

Fever Curer, and he tabulates them as follows

Bowel complaints cured with one dose.


Typhus or low fever cured with two doses.

**

Diphtheria cured with three doses.


Scarlet fever cured with four doses.

Cholera cured with "^yq doses.


Influenza cured with six doses."

This

somewhat

rhythmical

arrangement

of

the

boastful account of Fennings' triumphs has set our pen

quite on the jingle, and

we must consequently

our reader' indulgence while


into verse

we put

his achievements

(Air: **Ten Little Nigger Boys.")

Six

little

Cowes boys,

Influenza seized one

Fennings gave him doses

crave

six,

Influenza quite had gone.

136
Five

little

One the

Cowes boys,
cholera took

Fennings gave him doses

And brought

five,

the disease to book.

Four little Cowes boys.


One had scarlet fever dire
Fennings gave him doses four,

And
Three

One

thus subdued the

little

fire.

Cowes boys,

diphtheria caught

Fennings gave him doses three.


Diphtheria went to naught.

Two

little

Cowes boys,

With typhus one

laid

low

Fennings gave him doses two.


Away did typhus go.

One

little

His

**

Cowes boy,

stum my "

felt so

bad

Fennings gave him but one dose,

And
Confound
again
will

it

that settled the

Our pen has suddenly become

prosaic

neither " stomach-ache" nor " bowel complaint

rhyme

to ^^bad/'

and we have much further

''

to

journey before we have completed our task


indeed,

we have enumerated

Fever Curer, according to


Foj;- after

giving a lengthy

diseases, for

cure,

which

he says

*'

before,

half of the virtues of the


its

inventor and maker.

list,

printed in capitals, of

this "celebrated

remedy''

is

a sure

Fennings' Fever Curer will prevent

persons catching typhus or low fever, scarlet fever,

137

and yellow

cholera, diphtheria,

two or three doses

all

fever, or will cure

with

No

cases

these fearful disea^s.

of typhus fever is hopeless with this

remedy

at

hand."

Should any one be so sceptical as to demand proof, the


only reply to such an utterly lost person

in

by the maker himself

itaKcs, too

that given

is

See Fennings^

Everybody's Doctor ^ page 8/^

A certain cure for all these maladies is what one may


term a large order

but a certain preventive

more upon the wholesale

scale.

where Fennings professes

ascertain

still

We have not a copy


we cannot

Evm^ybody^s Doctor^ so that

of Fennings'

is

to

have gained his

assimied knowledge of yellow fever, a disease which

fortunately

unknown

in these islands.

professional retrospect,

we can only

outbreak in this country.


in September, 1865.

and

two

convalescing,

others

Between September 15th,


and October

4th,

mind one

at

Swansea

A vessel named the Hecla arrived

month from Cuba with one

in that

In a long

call to

That occurred

is

of her sailors dying,

from yellow

fever.

six days after her arrival,

twenty people in Swansea having

business relations with the Hecla were attacked with

yellow fever, as were also three more sailors on board


of a small vessel
ship.

as

we

which had been lying alongside that

Jennings may have seen yellow fever abroad,

many

years ago, in the Southern States of

but, if

he ever did see a case of that fearful

did

America

disease,

he

is

something far worse than mercenary in

trying, for the sake of filthy lucre, to delude people

138
into the notion that his stuff can either prevent or cure

yellow fever.

We

remember on one occasion having charge of a


number of patients stricken down with it one was an
old Mississippi boatman, whose experience of the
malady was greater than ours (or even Fennings') ever
;

will be.

With

the desire of giving comfort where

cure was evidently out of the question, so fatal was


that particular epidemic,

man's

last

we

tried to soothe the

doomed

hours with a few words of encouragement.

Starting up in bed and turning his face full towards

he shouted almost savagely, " Yer ain't going to


bluff me like that " then, falling back exhausted by

us,

the effort, he added, in a soft undertone, almost in a


whisper, " Gruess, Younker, yer ain't seen any case of
yeller fever before

now ?

"

When we

went

to the

improvised tent hospital early on the next mornings


the poor fellow was dead and buried, for the fatality

was

as swift as it

was

certain.

Does Fennings mean

to insist

upon the

assertion that

his stuff can cure yellow fever, typhus fever, cholera^

small-pox, and other affections ?

say that he

is

If so,

we can only

not going to bluff us like that.

But,

if

he persists in the further assertion that his Fever Curer


will prevent people catching these diseases, then

must designate that statement

we

as the grossest exag-

what many would call by a much shorter


name.
In his gamut of the curative properties of the
Fever Curer, he carries up to what six doses will do.
geration, or

139

wtat a boon

If seven would only cure lying,

be in his case and that of other quacks

it

some of

would

whom

do not even stick at putting forward bogus testimonials


with dead men's names attached, to make them look
(See Chapter III.)

genuine.

But

it is

no use to sigh for the moon, or to expect

even ordinary beneficial results from the stuff described

the

following

Professor

Wanklyn

analytical

Fennings'

nitric acid

sent

Fever Curer

New

by

us

is

Maiden, Surrey.

a dilute

(strength If per cent).

It

with peppermint, and contains minute


organic matter,

to

" The Laboratory,


*'

report

solution of

flavoured

is

traces of other

including a very small amount of

opium.
J.

Upon

Alfred Wanklyn.'*

the wrapper in which the bottle that

mitted to Professor

Wanklyn

we

following

observed,

the

for analysis

notice

Parliament requires that the word


printed on

we

sub-

was printed,

"An

Poison

'

Act of

should be

each bottle of Fever Curer, because

it

contains a few drops of laudanum, but which becomes,

by being mixed with certain liquids, a most beneficial


physic.''
As Professor Wanklyn tells us, the quantity
in fact, as regards any possiof opium is very small
bility of its becoming " a most beneficial physic," that
;

is

altogether out of the question, and practically as

barefaced a falsehood as the assertion that Fennings'

Fever Curer has for nearly

fifty

years been curing

140
thousands of cases of diseases which " no other medicine
could cure^

Parliament

worded

is

as to

Of course the reference to an Act of


another piece of bluff, and so artfully
convey to the

class of people

who

read

through every word of the glibberish jargon in patent


medicine directions as solemnly as
mitting to
that the

memory some

Act

if

they were com-

choice piece

of

Scripture,

was passed with

of Parliament

special

reference to the Fever Cure.

The dose
glassful

at

Fever Curer

of

put down as a wine-

pretty frequent intervals.

Seeing that

much

a good thing

wine-glasses differ so
that there

is

is so little

in size,

it is

laudanum contained

of eight ounces, otherwise " death

in the bottle

by misadventure,"

as juries are apt to bring in the verdict (instead of

" manslaughter," the correct term), in cases of fatal


poisoning through taking over doses of narcotic quack
medicines, would result.

As

it is,

reckoning a properly

graduated wine-glass at one-and-a-half ounces,


patient has the

gratification of getting

the

through his

With regard to the combottleful, we are not disposed in

bottle in about five doses.

mercial value of the


this

hot weather to weary either ourselves or our

readers

by working out a sum

in fractions,

and we

will

therefore limit ourselves to the statement that the

whole of the drugs in an eight-ounce


stuff

would be dear

But, though

it is

bottle of this

at a penny.

a highly objectional proceeding on

the part of patent medicine manufacturers,

through

141
greed of gain, to so unscrupulously puff their wares

more energetically and persistently even than that


arch-impostor, Autolycus, in Shakespeare's Winter's
Tale
many, many times more culpable
^yet

to

it is

impair people's constitutions, and in very numerous

by causing the loss


during which medical skill would

instances to jeopardise their lives,


of valuable time,

have availed

to save the sufferers.

The End,

SUPPLIED TO HER MAJESTY THE QUEEN.


So6annii5*-The

^-*

King of Natural Table Waters-

*3ol)annt0*

s*

THE

11TI-1B1LTE1ITI01
ASSOCIATION,
(REGISTERED

&

6i

62,

1895)

CHANCERY LANE, LONDON,

W.C,

The frequency and impunity with which the Food and Drugs Adulteration Acts,
1875-72, and other Acts of Parliament having a similar scope, are set at defiance,
have led to the formation of this much -needed public Association, the necessity of
which has long been recognised, both by the consumers and by the best manufacturers and retailers.

The following
in view

are amongst the desirable objects which the Association has

1.
To put more regularly into force the provisions of the existing Acts, and to
prevent their becoming practically inoperative, through the energetic greed of
dishonest traders, the apathy or helplessness of consumers, or the inadequate
punishment dealt out to offenders in the majority of cases where offences against
the Acts have been proved.

2.
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permissive a character, and affording too many loopholes of escape for wrong-doers
as are necessary in the interests aUke of the public, and of honest, fair-dealing

manufacturers and

retailers.

3.
To protect consumers by publishing, from time to time, reports and analyses,
together with other useful information concerning foods, beverages, drugs, &c.,
and their adulteration or purity.

4.
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issue of official certificates of Purity and Excellence, under ceitain regulations.

The annual subscription of members is fixed at the small sum of half-a-guinea,


member to Health News, the organ of the Association, sent monthly,

entitling the

donation of 3. Ss., or
post free, and to admission to all lectures and meetings.
upwards, constitutes life -membership.
Members will also be entitled to have
analyses made at reduced terms.

Further particulars, concerning membership, terms for analyses, and regulations


for granting certificates can be obtained of the Hon. Secretary.
Subscriptions
should be made payable by postal order and cheque, crossed ** Cheque Bank.'*

N.B.

ery

Analyses

of all kinds conducted in the Laboratory, for

reasonable charges.

non-members, at

THE SAVOY PRESS, LTD.


Savoy House,
The

following are

115,

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Strand,

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this firm

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(Illustrated),
Established in
The
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cheapest, and most widely circulated Health Journal.
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commencing at any date, 4s., post free to any address in the kingdom.
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^;

EXPOSUEES OF aUACKEEY

interesting Articles upon,

In two volumes,

Medicines.

containing a Series of
the Principal Patent Quack
each, post free for 14 stamps.

and Analyses
is.

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IS.,

post free for 14 stamps.

HAY FEVER, HAY ASTHMA, OR SUMMER CATARRH.


IS.,

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ALL TIMES AND SEASONS.

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