Human Relations Semester Packet

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Name:____________________________________!
Ms.!Hodgson!
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Human!Relations!
Course!Syllabus!
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Teacher'!Sarah!Hodgson!
E'Mail:!sarah.rodgers@greece.k12.ny.us!
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Human1Relations'!A!sociology!course!designed!to!help!you!know!and!understand!yourself!better.!!!
We!will!explore!our!understandings!of!ourselves!and!our!relationships!as!individuals!within!American!Culture.!
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Things1to1know1about1the1course:1
1. Seminar!Course!
2. Confidential!Class!
3. JournalI!You!need!one!
4. Some!of!the!material!is!controversial!!
5. Students!have!a!tendency!to!become!emotional!!
6. Students!have!a!tendency!to!grow!from!the!experience.!
7. This!is!an!awareness!course,!and!is!designed!to!get!students!ready!for!life!after!High!School.!
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Curriculum:1
I. Know!Thy!Self!
II. Relationships!
III. Sexuality!
IV. Marriage!&!Divorce!!
V. Drugs!&!Alcohol!
VI. SpiritualityI!The!inner!life!
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First Impressions
What have you heard about this course from other students? ________________________________
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What do you think you will like about the course? Why? ____________________________________
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What do you think you will not like?/ What are you nervous about? Why?________________________
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What unit are you most excited for? Why? _____________________________________________
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Class1Expectations:1Be1Present1
Be1present!!!You!are!an!escape!artist.!!You!can!escape!any!moment!of!any!day.!!You!are!a!magician!who!leaves!the!
room!without!getting!up.!!Have!you!ever!thought!about!the!consequence!of!this!magic?!!How!long!can!you!sit!still?!!
How!good!are!your!faceItoIface!conversations?!!How!connected!to!the!world!around!you!do!you!feel?!!Are!you!
addicted!to!the!escape?!!Do!you!experience!the!joy!of!being?!
This1will1help1you1be1more1present1in1your1life!1!The!purpose!of!this!class!is!to!engage!on!the!journey!of!knowing!
yourself.!!An!important!part!of!knowing!yourself!is!discovering!what!it!means!to!be!human!through!genuine!
connections!with!others.!!If1you1are1not1present1in1the1moment!you!are!in!you!cannot1make!those!genuine!
connections.!!For!this!reason!cell!phones!are!not!permitted!in!this!class.!
Classroom1Rules:!
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Engage!in!the!whole!class!discussion!
Be!respectful!of!others!ideas!even!when!you!are!offering!an!opposing!view!
SPEAK,!find!your!voice!!!
Do!not!play!with!your!phone,!tablet,!Gameboy,!or!other!electronic!device!
Do!not!have!side!conversations!with!your!neighbor!
Do!not!interrupt!others!mid!thought!
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Self'Assessment:1
Please1rate1yourself:!!!5:Superior!!!!4:Excellent!!!!!3:Good!!!!!!2:Fair!!!!!1:Unsatisfactory!
How!did!you!do!sharing!your!ideas!with!the!whole!class!through!participating!in!discussion?!!
5! 4! 3! 2! 1!
How!did!you!do!in!asking!a!clarifying!question!or!moving!the!discussion!along?!
5! 4! 3! 2! 1!
Did!you!draw!another!person!into!the!discussion?!
5! 4! 3! 2! 1!
Did!you!ignore!your!phone!and!participate!in!the!discussion?!
5! 4! 3! 2! 1!
Did!you!support!the!whole!class!discussion!by!not!having!side!conversations!with!your!neighbor?!
5! 4! 3! 2! 1!
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Reflections:11Use!the!space!below!to!reflect!on!the!your!ability1to1chose!to!be!present!in!this!class.!
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Ice1Breaker1
Purpose:1Your!interactions!with!each!other!are!what!can!make!this!class!great.!!It!is!important!that!we!
begin!by!getting!to!know!each!other!and!see!past!our!preconceived!notions!of!each!other.!
Directions:1Travel!around!the!room!and!have!your!classmates!and!Ms.!Hodgson!complete!the!sentences!
below.!!Try!to!get!everyone!at!least!once.!
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My!favorite!band!is!
2. This!weekend!I!
3. My!favorite!color!is!
4. My!bedroom!is!
5. The!nicest!thing!I!ever!did!for!anyone!was!
6. One!question!I!have!about!life!is!
7. One!thing!most!people!dont!know!about!me!is!
8. When!I!am!25!I!will!
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9. A!famous!person!I!admire!is!______________________!because!
10. The!bravest!thing!I!ever!did!was!
11. If!I!had!a!$1,000!I!would!
12. If!I!had!a!$1,000,000!I!would!
13. I!am!proud!of!
14. When!I!am!sad!I!
15. A!friend!once!showed!me!how!to!
16. If!I!were!free!to!do!anything!I!wanted!I!would!
17. My!favorite!teacher!at!Arcadia!is_________________!because!
18. One!thing!Ive!always!wondered!about!is!
19. I!am!an!expert!on!
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20. The!bravest!thing!I!ever!did!was!
21. The!best!mistake!I!ever!made!was!
22. My!favorite!place!is__________________!because!
23. My!drivers!license!gave!me!the!freedom!to!
24. My!friends!make!me!laugh!when!they!
25. I!like!_______________!because!
26. I!dislike!_____________!because!
27. The!most!stressful!thing!in!my!life!is!
28. The!best!thing!in!my!life!is!
29. !One!thing!I!know/have!heard!about!Ms.!Hodgson!(Rodgers)!is!
30. I!am!excited!for!this!class!because!
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Stereotypes1
Objective:1!To!discuss!stereotypes!with!the!goal!of!seeing!beyond!them.!
Essential1Questions:!What!are!the!purposes!of!stereotypes?!!How!do!you!use!stereotypes!in!your!
relationships?!
What!is!a!stereotype?!______________________________________________________________________!
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Why!do!you!think!we!stereotype!people?_____________________________________________________!
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Stereotype1
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Do1you1fit1into1any1of1these1categories?1
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Do1we1let1stereotypes1define1us?1
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Do1stereotypes1determine1our1friendships?1
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Journal1Response1#11
Human1Relations'1Know1Thy1Self1
Directions:1Your!journal!is!a!place!to!formulate!ides!and!express!your!opinions!on!topics!we!discuss!in!class.!!Please!
write!a!well!thoughtIout!response!to!todays!discussion.!!The!questions!below!can!help!you!if!you!get!stuck.!
Stereotypes1
1. Where!do!you!think!stereotypes!come!from?!
2. What!negative!views!of!others!do!you!have!a!result!of!stereotypes?!
3. Would!you!like!to!work!to!change!these!negative!views!and!look!at!others!more!openly?!
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Identity1Collage11
Objective:!To!create!a!collage!representing!your!identity,!prompting!you!to!think!about!your!identity!traits.!!
To!think!about!who!you!are!and!how!others!perceive!you.!
Are!you!a!book!judged!by!its!cover?!
Directions:1
1. Gather!5!images!and!5!terms!that!represent!how!you!think!others!see!you.!!This!is!your!cover!!
2. Gather!10!images!and!10!terms!that!really!represent!who!you!think!you!are.!These'parts'of'your'
identity'may'be'less'well'known'and'less'visible'to'others.'
3. Fold!a!large!piece!of!construction!paper!in!half!
4. Use!the!cover!collage!materials!to!design!the!outside!of!the!paper.!
5. Use!the!10!images!and!terms!that!you!believe!represent!you!to!design!the!inside!of!the!collage.!1
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Response1to1Ms.1Hodgsons1collage:1
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Plan1Your1Collage:1
How1do1people1see1you?1Why?1
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Who1are1you?1How1do1you1see1yourself?1
What1is1important1to1you?1
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Identity1Collage11
Objective:!To!discuss!stereotypes!with!the!goal!of!seeing!beyond!them.!
Essential1Questions:1
1. What!is!the!purpose!of!stereotyping?1
2. How!do!we!see!beyond!stereotypes1
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Directions:!After!each!person!presents!their!college!take!a!moment!to!think!about!what!they!said!and!
reflect!on!it!by!making!connections!to!your!own!life!using!the!graphic!organizer!below.!!When!you!have!
finished,!cut!it!out!and!put!it!in!your!journal.!
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What1are1some1things1you1have1in1common1with1
How1are1you1learning1compassion1as1you1listen?1
people1in1the1class?1
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Reflect1on1your1own1collage1experience1
1. What!about!this!assignment,!if!anything,!was!challenging!for!you?!
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2. How!did!you!feel!describing!your!collage!to!the!class?!
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3. Did!you!hold!back!anything!about!yourself?!!What?!
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4. Did!anyone!in!class!surprise!you!in!their!description!of!themselves?!
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Seeing Beyond the Cover

Sharing our collages has helped us begin our journey to move beyond stereotypes. Reflect on how we
have done this. Explain how you have learned to see beyond stereotypes and how this new vision has
affected you.
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Our1Material1Culture!
Objective:!To!examine!the!technology!and!materialism!in!our!culture!and!discuss!their!impact!
on!us!as!individuals.!
Essential1Questions:!1
1. Is!your!happiness!defined!by!material!possessions?!
2. How!do!your!desires!for!material!goods!impact!your!life?!
Video1Reflection:Teenage1Affluenza1http://www.godtube.com/watch/?v=JF92JMNU!1
1. While!this!clip!may!seem!exaggerated!and!the!contrast!is!admittedly!a!bit!
extreme,!it!does!speak!some!truths!about!how!Americans!can!suffer!because!of!their!desires.!!The!
American!teenager!in!the!film!looks!ridiculous!as!she!suffers!because!of!her!material!desires;!think!
about!your!own!life!and!desires!are!there!moments!when!your!material!sufferings!could!be!
compared!to!hers?!
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2. Do!you!desire!brand!name!goods?!
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3. Why!do!American!teens!and!Americans!in!general!covet!brand!named!goods?!
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Directions:1
1. Interview!three!classmates!you!dont!really!know!using!the!questions!bellow.!
2. Feel!free!to!adapt/!modify!the!questions!as!you!go!through!each!individual!interview!
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Interviewee!#1!_____________________________________!
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Do!you!remember!a!toy!you!had!to!have!as!a!kid?!!What!was!it?!
2. Did!you!get!it?!(circle!one!!YES!!NO)!
3. How!did!getting!it/not!getting!it!make!you!feel?!
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4. Why!did!you!feel!this!way?!
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5. What!are!three!fond!memories!you!have!of!childhood?!
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6. What!are!three!objects!that!make!you!happy?!
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7. Why!do!they!make!you!happy?!
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8. List!three!things!you!would!like!to!have!but!cannot!afford.!
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9. Why!do!you!want!these!things?!
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10. Have!you!ever!gone!shopping!because!you!had!a!bad!day!or!gone!because!you!thought!it!would!make!you!feel!
better?!
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11. Are!there!material!goods!you!own!that!you!feel!you!could!not!live!without?!!If!yes!what!are!they!and!why!cant!
you!live!without!them?!
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12. Is!there!a!possession!you!must!have!to!fit!in!with!your!peers?!If!yes!what!and!why?!
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13. Do!you!think!materialism!is!good!or!bad?!Explain!your!answer.!
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Bonding1Over1Materialism:1What!was!your!favorite!answer!from!your!interviews?!
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Class1Discussion:1Take!notes!in!your!journal!as!we!discuss!the!questions!below!
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What!is!materialism?!
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2. How!does!materialism!impact!our!lives?!
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3. Does!materialism!create!our!pieces!of!our!identity?!!How?!
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4. What!is!the!impact!of!materialism!on!our!culture?!
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5. What!really!matters!in!life?!
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6. Do!we!simply!give!those!things!lip!service!in!our!culture!or!do!we!behave!as!if!they!actually!matter?!
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7. Do!things!ever!take!the!place!of!people!in!our!lives?!!Explain.!
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8. Do!the!answers!you!heard!in!the!interviews!reflect!the!thoughts!you!classmates!shared!on!the!answers!
above!or!contradict!them?!!Explain.!
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9. Do!the!answers!you!shared!in!the!interviews!reflect!your!thoughts!on!the!answers!above!or!contradict!them?!!
Explain.!
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Video!Reflection:!The!High!Price!of!American!Materialsim!http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oGab38pKscw!!
1. Do!you!agree!that!we!are!constantly!bombarded!with!messages!of!consumerism?!
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2. Explain!the!effect!of!the!consumer!society!in!your!own!words.!
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3. Why!do!you!think!there!is!a!seesaw!connection!between!materialism!and!proIsocial!values?!
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4. Why!do!you!think!there!is!a!seesaw!connection!between!materialism!and!valuing!the!planet?!
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5. Why!do!you!think!those!with!higher!material!values!have!less!happiness?!
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6. What!are!intrinsic!values?!
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7. Would!you!take!a!job!that!offered!less!money,!but!was!rewarding!because!you!serve!the!greater!
good?!Why!or!why!not?!
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8. Do!you!agree!with!any!of!this!really?!
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Tracy!ChapmanI!Mountains!O!Things!
The life I've always wanted
I guess I'll never have
I'll be working for somebody else
Until I'm in my grave
I'll be dreaming of a live of ease
And mountains
Oh mountains o' things
To have a big expensive car
Drag my furs on the ground
And have a maid that I can tell
To bring me anything
Everyone will look at me with envy and with greed
I'll revel in their attention
And mountains
Sweet lazy life
Champagne and caviar
I hope you'll come and find me
Cause you know who we are
Those who deserve the best in life
And know what the money's worth
And those whose sole misfortune
Was having mountains o' nothing at birth
Oh they tell me
There's still time to save my soul
They tell me
Renounce all
Renounce all those material things you gained by
Exploiting other human beings
Consume more than you need
This is the dream
Make you pauper

Or make you queen
I won't die lonely
I'll have it all prearranged
A grave that's deep and wide enough
For me and all my mountains o' things
Oh they tell me
There's still time to save my soul
They tell me
Renounce all
Renounce all those material things you gained by
Exploiting other human beings
Mostly I feel lonely
Good good people are
Good people are only
My stepping stones
It's gonna take all my mountains o' things
To surround me
Keep all my enemies away
Keep my sadness and loneliness at bay
The life I've always wanted
I guess I'll never have
I'll be working for somebody else
Until I'm in my grave
I'll be dreaming of a live of ease
And mountains
I'll be dreaming, dreaming...

Dreaming...
1. What!is!the!main!idea!of!this!poem?!!!Use!2I3!lines!from!the!poem!to!support!your!answer.!
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2. Do!you!agree!or!disagree!with!Chapmans!message?!!Explain.!
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Write!a!journal!reflection!on!materialism.!!Use!the!following!questions!to!help!you:!How!do!our!material!desires!
shape!who!we!are?!Do!material/technological!goods!shape!who!we!are!by!altering!our!interactions?!Do!you!want!to!
change!the!role!of!materialism!in!your!life?!Why/why!not?!How?!
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Your Values
Objective: To examine where our morals and values come from and how they shape who we are.
Directions: Thoughtfully answer the questions below on your own to prepare for class discussion.
1. What values do we share as Americans?
2. How do these values shape who we are? Use the graphic organizer to show this relationship.
Value (explain)
Character Trait (explain)
3. What other values do you hold? Where do they come from?

Value (describe)
Influence (explain)
4. How do values help define who we think we are?
Value
My actions that support this value
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Value
My actions that go against this value
5. Use the graphic organizers and class discussion to examine your values and actions to create a
reflection of who you are.
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! 22!
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Unit12:1Relationships1
Relationship1Unit1Purpose:1
One!of!the!goals!of!this!course!is!to!examine!and!seek!a!greater!understanding!of!ourselves.!!We!have!begun!
this!journey!through!asking!questions!about!how!society!defines!us!and!helps!us!to!create!definitions!of!ourselves.!!
The!next!layer!of!ourselves!we!are!going!to!examine!is!our!relationships.!!Our!relationships!with!others!as!we!grow!
dramatically!impacts!who!we!are!and!who!we!become.!!We!will!be!discussing!early!adolescent!friendships,!
boyfriend/girlfriend,!and!parentIchild!relationships.!!Each!of!these!relationships!will!help!you!to!see!another!layer!of!
who!you!are!and!why.!!Remember!though!in!self!exploration!you!get!only!as!much!as!you!are!willing!to!see.!
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The!person!who!tries!to!live!alone!will!not!succeed!as!a!human!being.!His!heart!withers!if!it!
does!not!answer!another!heart.!His!mind!shrinks!away!if!he!hears!only!the!echoes!of!his!own!
thoughts!and!finds!no!other!inspiration.!
~Pearl!S.!Buck!
Objectives:!
1. To!see!who!we!are,!as!individuals,!in!relationships!and!to!ask!what!type!of!friends!we!are.!
2. To!become!better!friends!and!have!healthier!relationships.!
Essential1Questions:1
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Am!I!a!giver!or!a!taker?!!
How!do!friendships!shape!us!as!individuals?!
How!does!a!relationship!become!more!intimate?!
How!do!people!balance!multiple!relationships?!
How!can!I!be!a!better!friend?!
How!does!being!a!better!friend!make!me!a!better!person?!
Introduction:1
Define!Friendship:!_________________________________________________________________________________!
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Define!BestIfriendship:!_____________________________________________________________________________!
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Why!do!you!think!friendship!is!important?!____________________________________________________________!
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Friendship1Time'Line:1Reflections!as!you!create!your!time!line!
1. Why!were!these!people!your!friends?!
2. Did!you!like!who!you!were/are!in!that!friendship?!
3. How!have!your!friendships!both!progressed!and!changed?!
4. How!have!your!friends!impacted!who!you!are?!
5. What!friendships!have!had!the!most!influence!on!you?!
6. What!have!your!friends!taught!you?!
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Friendship!Timeline!
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Sharing1your1Timeline1
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Directions:1Take!turns!in!your!group!sharing!your!time!and!describing!the!lessons!of!friendship!you!have!learned.!
1
Sharing1your1timelines:11As!you!listen!and!share!think!about!the!commonalities!you!are!hearing!about!friendship.!!Try!
to!connect!to!parts!of!the!timelines!where!someone!learned!about!compassion!or!more!about!who!they!are.!!As!you!
make!these!connections!jot!down!ideas!to!the!two!questions!in!the!graphic!organizer!below.!
What!is!friendship?!
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How!does!friendship!shape!who!we!are?!
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Reflections:!!Use!the!questions!below!to!write!a!reflection!on!friendship.!
1. What!did!you!learn!about!yourself!as!a!friend!from!your!timeline?!
2. What!new!ideas!about!friendship!do!you!have!based!on!your!timeline!or!what!you!learned!listening!
to!others?!
3. How!does!friendship!both!teach!us!about!compassion!and!sometimes!make!it!hard!to!be!
compassionate?!
4. See!the!essential!questions!and!the!timeline!questions!!
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! 26!
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Now'and'Then'
Purpose:11We!are!going!to!be!viewing!two!films!on!adolescence!and!friendships.!!The!two!films!represent!different!
gender!perspectives!on!friendship!and!adolescence.!!We!will!be!discussing!both!the!influence!of!adolescence!and!
the!differing!gender!perspectives.!
Objective:1To!examine!the!ways!in!which!adolescent!friendships!shape!who!we!are.!
Essential1Question:1How!did!your!adolescent!friendships!influence!who!you!are?!
Previewing!Questions:!
1.
What!kinds!of!things!did!you!do!with!your!friends!when!you!were!11,!12,!and!13?!
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2. Do!you!think!boys!and!girls!have!similar!friendships!at!this!age?!
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3. Why!are!our!friends!the!most!important!part!of!our!lives!during!adolescence?!
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4. What!did!you!learn!about!being!a!friend!when!you!were!that!age?!
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PostIviewing!Questions:!
1.
What!did!the!girls!enjoy!doing!together?!
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2. How!did!they!bond!with!each!other?!
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Girls1
Boys1
3. Did!any!of!the!characters!remind!you!of!
yourself?!
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3. Was!there!anything!the!girls!liked!to!do!
together!that!you!did!with!your!friends?!
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4. Did!any!of!the!characters!remind!you!of!a!
friend?!
4. Was!there!anything!they!didnt!do!together!
that!you!liked!to!do!with!your!friends?!
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5. The!girls!discussed!some!major!issues!in!the!film!(divorce,!sex,!death,!loss),!do!you!remember!discussing!
issues!like!these!with!your!friends?!
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6. Did!your!friends!help!you!deal!with!problems!in!your!life!at!that!age?!!How?!
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7. How!do!you!think!we!are!shaped!by!our!experiences!at!that!age?!
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8. Do!you!think!you!could!come!back!together!with!your!friends!from!that!time!the!way!these!women!did?!!
Why!or!why!not?!
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Stand'By'Me'
Previewing1Thoughts:1
1. Adolescence!is!its!own!world!
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2. In!friendships!are!you!a!giver!or!a!taker?!
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3. How!would!your!friends!describe!your!friendship?!
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4. Do!you!have!friends!that!are!good!for!you?!Bad!for!you?!Both?!
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5. Are!you!the!same!person!around!all!of!your!friends?!When!you!are!alone?!
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Post'Viewing1Thought1Questions:1
1.
What!did!the!boys!enjoy!doing!together?!
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2. How!did!they!bond!with!each!other?!
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Boys1
Girls1
3. Did!any!of!the!characters!remind!you!of!
yourself?!
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4. Did!any!of!the!characters!remind!you!of!a!
friend?!
3. Was!there!anything!the!boys!liked!to!do!
together!that!you!did!with!your!friends?!
4. Was!there!anything!they!didnt!do!together!
that!you!liked!to!do!with!your!friends?!
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5. Was!there!a!leader!or!alpha!in!the!group?!!Who!was!it?!!What!made!them!the!leader?!
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6. Who!were!the!followers!in!the!group?!How!could!you!tell!they!were!followers?!
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7. What!do!you!think!the!author!mean!at!the!beginning!of!the!movie!when!he!said!along!time!ago,!but!only!if!
you!measure!in!years.!
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8. Why!do!these!movies!have!kids!with!troubled!home!lives?!
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9. I!never!had!any!friends!later!on!like!the!ones!I!had!when!I!was!12.!!Jesus!does!anyone?!
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The1Impact1of1Adolescence:1
Not!everyone!has!the!opportunity!form!the!bonds!of!friendship!in!adolescence!that!we!have!been!discussing.!!Some!
people!move!at!the!wrong!time!or!have!family!issues!that!alienate!them!from!others.!!Some!people!struggle!with!
issues!like!depression!or!simply!just!dont!connect!well.!!The!lack!of!these!adolescent!bonds!can!have!as!much!of!an!
impact!as!the!friendships!we!have!been!discussing.!!Not!forming!these!bonds!can!lead!to!bullying!unhealthy!
relationships!later!in!life,!addiction,!low!selfIesteem!or!simply!withdrawal!form!a!social!life.!
Video1Game1Addiction:1http://www.npr.org/2013/10/20/238095806/when8playing8video8games8means8sitting8on8lifes8
sidelines?sc=17&f=1001!
Listen!to!the!story!from!NPR!about!a!very!different!kind!of!rehab!and!answer!the!questions!below.!
1. What!are!the!symptoms!of!video!game!addiction!described!in!the!story?!
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2. How!do!they!attempt!to!help!the!boys?!
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3. How!does!this!connect!to!what!we!have!been!discussing!about!adolescent!friendships?!
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4. How!would!you!help!yourself!or!someone!else!in!this!situation?!
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Journal1Entry:!!
1. Reflect!on!the!journey!of!adolescent!friendship.!
2. Reflect!on!the!impacts!we!discussed!today!of!not!forging!those!bonds!in!adolescence.!
3. Reflect!on!connections!you!made!today.!
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Bullying11
Objective:!!
1. Examine!different!types!of!bullying!and!their!effects!on!all!involved.!
2. To!look!beyond!our!initial!perspective!and!find!compassionate!solutions.!
!
Essential1Questions11
1. What!is!bullying?!
2. What!are!the!effects!of!bullying?!!Who!is!affected?!
3. Why!does!bullying!exist?!
4. How!can!I!help!those!impacted!by!bullying?!
1
Bully1'1Answer!in!your!journal!!
1. How!do!the!stories!make!you!feel?!
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2. What!does!bullying!mean!to!you?!
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3. How!have!other!people!made!you!feel!mistreated!or!alone?!
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4. Is!the!Arcadia!Community!an!accepting!safe!place!for!everyone?!
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5. What!stories!of!bullying!in!Arcadia!can!you!share?!
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6. What!commonalities!do!you!hear!in!our!stories!
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Directions:1Use!the!readings!your!group!has!to!complete!the!poster!described!below.!Be!prepared!to!share!your!
work!with!the!class.!
Shocking!(or!not!so!shocking)!Statistics!
What1is1bullying?1
Definitions:!
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Examples!(Stories!or!types):!
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What1is1the1impact1of1bullying?1
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Journal: You can discuss the essential questions, respond to class discussion, or share other thought on
bullying. Try to be introspective and reflective. Push yourself to respond in a meaningful way.
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Friendships Now
Objective: To explore the importance of friendship in the development of the self.
Essential Question: How do friends help us to see ourselves more clearly?
Directions:
1. Work independently or with a partner to adding to the poster questions.
2. During group discussion answer the questions bellow based on your thoughts on the thoughts of
others.
Questions:
1. My friends and I like to
2. My best friend( not their name, but the qualities that describe them)
3. The best part of friendship is.
4. The hardest part of friendship is
5. Something my friends and I have done that we should not have was
6. My friends have helped me to see __________ about my self.
7. My friends pushed me to(can be positive or negative)
8. Human beings need friends because

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Parenting
Objective:
1. To examine the roles and responsibly of parenthood.
2. To examine different perspectives on how to parent.
3. To explore the challenges of parent hood.
Essential Question?
What does it mean to be a good parent?
What Will I Be Like When I Am A Parent?

Directions: In the space below list negative and positive traits, actions, feelings, ideasyou associate
with parenting.
Positive
Negative
Parenting
What do I like about my parents?
What do I dislike?
! 38!
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Answer the following questions thoughtfully and thoroughly.

1. How will you discipline your child in its early years? (ages 1-4)
2. Will you change your disciplinary philosophy as your child enters his/her school age years? Why?
3. As we reach adolescence we as people tend to become a bit more mischievous. Think about your
mischief.
a. When you got caught, how were you punished or disciplined?
b. Did you learn a lesson?
c. What would you have done differently from your parents?
4. As we go though high school we dont always make the best decisions.

a. How did your parents respond when they found out you tried drugs or alcohol? (or how do
you think they would respond?)
b. When you are a parent what will your philosophy on drugs and alcohol be?
5. What is tough love? Do you have experience with this? (examples)
6. What will your view of education be?
7. What do you think of home schooling?
8. Have you experienced parents that befriend their children in a negative way? Share and example:
! 39!
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9. Will you incorporate religion in your childs life? Explain why or why not.
10. Do you know what it means to live vicariously through your children?
a. Can you give an example?
b. Why is this unhealthy for parents?
c. Why is it unhealthy for children?
11. What will I do to stress the importance of FAMILY?
12. What are the little things that really matter in a family?
Possible journal response: How will I parent my children?

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The1Path1to1Healthy1Relationships1
1
Objective:!To!explore!the!impact!early!relationships!can!have!on!our!relationships!later!in!life.!
!
Essential1Question:!!
1. Do!those!who!first!taught!you!to!love!define!the!characteristics!you!look!for!in!a!boyfriend/girlfriend?!
2. Do!your!early!interactions!with!loved!ones!shape!the!way!you!interact!with!your!partner!as!an!adult?!
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Directions:11Today!we!are!going!to!discuss!how!and!why!our!experiences!in!childhood!impact!who!we!are,!how!we!
see!ourselves,!what!we!expect!from!our!relationships!and!how!we!act!in!those!relationships!because!of!those!
expectations.!!!Use!the!questions!and!graphic!organizers!below!to!help!you!process!this!discussion.!
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Key1Understanding:1When!parents!or!caretakers!invalidate!our!feelings!it!leaves!scars!and!creates!patterns!of!
behavior.!
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The1Wolves1Within'1A1Cherokee1Story!
1. Explain!what!the!wolves!are.!__________________________________________________________________!
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2. Use!the!organizer!below!to!list!the!characteristics!of!each!wolf.!
Characteristics!of!the!Good!Wolf!!
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Characteristics!of!the!Bad!Wolf!
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Thought'Questions'
3. How!do!we!learn!which!wolf!to!feed?!.!__________________________________________________________!
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4. How!do!we!know!which!wolf!we!are!feeding?!____________________________________________________!
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The1Scars1of1Childhood1
1. Define!caretakers!or!caregivers!and!list!possible!relationship!examples.!_______________________________!
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2. Use!the!two!stories!to!explain!in!your!own!words!how!the!way!our!parents!treat!us!affects!how!we!see!
ourselves!and!what!we!expect!in!our!relationships.!_______________________________________________!
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3. What!is!the!lost!self!and!how!do!we!lose!it?!____________________________________________________!
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4. What!is!purpose!or!job!the!false!self!or!the!masks!we!create?!_____________________________________!
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Summary1
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1. We!have!childhood!experiences!that!scar!us!emotionally!in!some!way.!!
2. We!repress!feelings,!needs!or!wants!based!on!these!scaring!experiences.!
3. We!create!walls!within!ourselves!to!protect!us!from!the!hurt!of!our!repressed!emotions!we!cannot!
allow!ourselves!to!feel.!
4. These!walls!we!create!become!masks.!
5. The!masks!need!lies.!
6. We!tell!ourselves!these!lies.!
7. We!cannot!get!or!give!the!love!we!need!to!heal!ourselves.!
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The1Path1to1Happiness1and1Healthy1Relationships1is1to1Know1Thy1Self1
Step111
Examine!the!event!or!pattern!from!childhood!that!led!to!that!hurt!and!repressed!
emotion.!
Step121
Acknowledge!that!what!you!felt!was!not!wrong!and!that!it!was!okay!for!you!to!feel!
that!way.1
Step131
Ask!how!repressing!that!feeling!has!impacted!who!you!are!and!your!relationships.!!1
Step141
See!through!the!lies!and!past!the!masks!they!protect!to!the!repressed!hurt!and!
emotion.1
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1Journal1Reflection:11Use!the!questions!below!to!help!you!create!a!journal!entry!that!explains!what!we!learned!today!
in!your!own!words.!!!
If!we!are!angry!or!hurt!by!our!caregivers!are!we!allowed!to!express!it!as!children?!!
Do!we!understand!that!hurt!enough!as!children!to!know!how!to!express!it?!
What!do!we!do!when!our!needs!are!not!met!as!children?!!!
What!happens!when!our!fears!and!feelings!are!invalidated!by!our!caregivers?!
The!feelings!created!in!the!home!must!be!expressed.!!When!we!do!not!learn!how!to!express!our!
feelings!in!a!healthy!way!in!the!home,!what!happens!outside!the!home?!
Do!you!have!any!examples!from!your!life!that!might!help!you!explain?!
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Impact of Childhood Relationships

Objective: To examine the characteristics and positive and negative traits of your parents/caretakers.
Essential Question:
1. Do those who first taught you to love define the characteristics you look for in a
boyfriend/girlfriend?
2. Do your early interactions with loved ones shape the way you interact with your partner as an
adult?
Step 1: Guided Visualization
Step 2: Recording and Creating Understanding
Directions: Use the information you gathered in your visualization to complete the following:
1. In the top half of the oval, under the letter A, record the positive traits of all your early care
givers.
a. Lump all the positive traits of your caretakers together; it is not necessary to separate
them.
b. List the traits as you recall them from childhood, not as they are today.
c. Describe them with simple adjectives or phrases. For example: kind, warm, intelligent,
religious, creative, always there, enthusiastic
2. In the bottom half of the oval, under the letter B, record the negative traits of all your early
care givers.
a. Again, lump all the negative traits of your caretakers together and describe them with
simple adjectives or phrases. For example: detached, angry, depressed, uncaring, verbally
abusive, physically abusive, alcoholic
3. After you have filled in the circle, circle the positive and negative traits that seem to affect you
the most.
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Step 3: Positive Childhood Memories

Directions:
1. In the first column list the positive experiences you remember with each caretaker from your
childhood.
2. In the second column list the most positive feelings you associate with that caretaker.
Positive Behavior or Experience
Positive Feeling
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Step 4: Childhood Frustrations

Directions:
1. In the first column list the frustrating experiences you remember with each caretaker from your
childhood.
2. In the second column list negative feelings you associate with each specific frustration. (again a
feeling can be described with one word: angry, helpless, sad, anxious, afraid, disgusted)
3. In the third column describe the way you reacted to each frustration.
Frustration
Feeling
Reaction
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Step 5: Free-write
Directions: Using the information you have gathered so far respond to the prompt below. You should
respond to the prompt for each caretaker you examined today.
What I need from you most as a child and didnt get or didnt get enough of was
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Creating a Positive Mantra

Objective: To create positive mantras that replace the shameful negative feeling we have about
ourselves.
Essential Question:
1. Where do my negative thoughts about myself come from? How do they affect me?
2. What is shame and how does it effect me?
2. What do I need to do to change those shameful negative thoughts?
Directions: Watch the Ted Talk, The Power of Vulnerability and complete the activities below.
https://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability
As you watch: Bren Brown defines several terms throughout the talk. She continually goes back to
them and adds more, giving deeper understandings of truly complex feelings and emotions. For each
term in the organizer jot down notes that help you to define and understand these terms.
Shame:
Vulnerability:
Blame:
Guilt:
Sense of Worthiness
After you watch:

What are your reactions? How did what she said make you feel?
What makes you feel vulnerable? Do you agree that this is weakness?
Why do you need to know your shame?

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Moving Beyond your Shame: Create a Positive Mantra
Directions: Use the information you gathered last class to complete the following:
1. Examine the traits you identified and ask do these traits lead you to create shameful negative
feelings about yourself or negative expectations of others? If so describe them below.
2. Examine the frustrating experiences you identified and ask do these frustrating experiences lead
you to create shameful negative feelings about yourself or negative expectations of others? If
so describe them below.
3. List your negative feelings about yourself and your negative expectations of others in the
appropriate columns below.
shameful negative feelings about yourself
negative expectations of others
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4. Look over your list of shameful negative feelings and negative expectations of others. Do
these feelings keep you from feel worthy of love? If they do, think back on your
relationships (friends, BF or GF, relatives, teachers) and ask how has this shame
impacted your relationships?
5. Create a positive affirmation to replace each of the negative feelings and expectations you listed.
shameful negative feeling about yourself or
positive affirmation
negative expectation of others
6. Connect these positive affirmations to create your own mantra. This mantra should be simple, it
is positive I statements, it is only about you.
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7. When should you use this mantra? When do you need to?
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Males vs. Females

Objectives:
1. To explore the differences in regards to gender perspectives in relationships.
2. To explore the gender perspectives of society and how they differ from the perspectives of
individuals.
3. To examine the impact of those perspectives on relationships.
Essential Question:
1. What are the differences between the ways men and women view relationships?
2. How do those views on relationships change from the individual to the group perspective?
3. Why do you think these gender differences exist?
Though we adore men individually, we agree that as a group theyre rather stupid.
Where is this quote from?
Group Activity: Gender and relationship generalizations
As you participate in the group discussion write down comments you find particularly irksome, offensive,
true, strange, etc. After writing the comment jot down your thoughts.
When you think about opposite
When you think about opposite
What do females want out of a
sex the first thing that comes to
sex the first thing that comes to
mind is?
mind is?
How do women think about men?
How do men think about women?
Your thoughts:
Your thoughts:
relationship?
Your thoughts:
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What do males want out of a
Advice for the opposite sex on
Advice for the opposite sex on
relationship?
how to have more successful
how to have more successful
relationships: (womens advice
relationships: (mens advice for
for men)
women)
Your thoughts:
Your thoughts:
Your thoughts:
Reflection: What were the most inspirational statements made during this seminar? Hopefully you
learned something from the opposite sex today!!?? What did you learn from your peers?
How can we have successful relationships given our gender-biased views?
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Self-Image and Intimate Relationships

Objective: To begin an examination of oneself in an intimate relationship.
Essential Question:
How does ones self-image connect to boyfriend/girlfriend relationships?
Pre-Activity Discussion
What kind of relationship or partner do you think each of the following would have?
Someone with a positive self image
Someone with a negative self image
Someone who is an extrovert
Someone who is an introvert
Someone who is independent
Someone who is dependent
Directions: Take the following three quizzes designed to examine your self image. Use the pages
following the quizzes to score yourself. Remember these quizzes are not perfect, but they are a good
springboard for discussion. Many of the questions will not have the perfect answer, just pick the best
one. If you do not know what a word means, dont be afraid to ask.
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Post-Activity
Reflect on your quiz results for each quiz in your journal.
1. Self-Image
2. Extrovert or Introvert
3. Independent
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Group Discussion:
1. What is the impact of ones self image on a relationship?
2. How does being aware of these images of ourselves help us to have better relationships?
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The1Teenage1Boyfriend/Girlfriend1Relationship1
1
Objective:!To!understand!the!impact!of!an!intimate!relationship!in!ones!teen!years.!
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Essential1Question:!!
1. What!are!the!greatest!differences!in!regards!to!gender!perspective?!
2. What!are!the!characteristics!of!a!healthy!relationship!in!ones!teen!years?!
3. How!does!dating!someone!impact!other!relationships!and!aspects!of!your!life?!
4. What!is!being!in!love?!
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Directions:11Today!we!are!going!to!discuss!the!teenage!relationship.!!You!are!going!to!complete!the!questions!on!
this!worksheet!and!then!use!your!answers!to!help!you!participate!in!the!class!discussion.!!You!do!not!have!to!share!
your!personal!stories!unless!you!want!to.!!You!can!use!your!answers!to!help!you!talk!about!key!ideas.!This!worksheet!
needs!to!be!in!your!journal.!
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Key1Understanding:1Stages!of!a!High!School!Relationship!
Level!1I!Attraction:!Physical!!
Level!2I!Dating:!!Get!to!their!personality,!compatibility,!conversation!(tell!your!story),!spending!time!together!
Level!3I!Intimacy:!Love!or!Lust,!impact!on!your!life,!the!future??!
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Level111Questions:1
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1. When!did!you!first!become!interested!in!the!opposite!sex/intimate!relationships?!
2. How!old!were!you!when!you!got!your!first!real!kiss?!
3. !How!do!you!react!when!you!are!physically!attracted!to!someone?!
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Level121Questions:1
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1. You!have!seen!or!maybe!experienced!many!relationships!with!boyfriends!and!girlfriends??!!Discuss!
the!culture!of!that!relationship.!!What!does!the!relationship!entail!on!a!weekly!basis?!
2. How!do!you!get!to!know!your!boyfriend/girlfriend?!
3. What!is!your!idea!of!quality!time?!
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Level131Questions:1
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1. How!long!was!your!longest!relationship?!
2. Have!you!ever!been!in!love?!!How!do!you!know?!
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3. How!did/does!your!relationship!with!your!boyfriend/girlfriend!impact!your!friends/family?!
4. What!are!the!impacts!of!a!breakup?!
5. Some!of!you!will!go!in!separate!directions!when!you!graduate!from!high!school.!!What!is!your!take!
on!a!long!distance!relationship?!!
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Reflect1on1your1Relationships:1Think!of!all!the!characteristics!and!interactions!in!your!boyfriend/girlfriend!
relationships!and!use!the!T!chart!below!to!list!the!elements!you!have!liked!and!disliked!about!your!relationships.!
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Positive!Elements!
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Negative!Elements!!
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Journal1Response:1Reflect!on!our!discussion!or!any!or!all!of!the!essential!questions.!
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Communication:!Men!vs.!Women!
1
Objective:!!To!analyze!the!different!ways!men!and!women!communicate!and!how!these!differences!lead!to!
confrontation.!
Essential1Questions:!
1. How!can!you!tell!someone!is!listening!to!you?!
2. How!do!you!react!when!you!feel!someone!is!not!listening!to!you?!
3. Do!we!argue!with!members!of!the!opposite!sex!because!of!the!ways!we!communicate?!
!
Directions:1
Pre'Reading:!Create!a!TIchart!in!your!journal!and!compare!the!ways!men!and!women!communicate!based!on!your!
own!personal!experience.!
While1Reading:!Add!to!your!TIchart!using!information!from!the!article!
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Ways!women!communicate! !
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Ways!men!communicate!
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Steps1for1more1successful1communication:1Use!the!following!steps!when!you!are!trying!to!communicate!your!way!
through!tough!emotional!issues.!
1. Listen1carefully1to!what!is!being!said.!!Pay!attention!to!how!it!is!said.!!Try!to!empathize!with!the!other!person!
and!hear!the!total!communication!(both!verbal!and!nonverbal).!
2. Listen1with1your1mouth1shut.11In!other!words,!dont!interrupt!the!other!person!until!you!have!heard!all!the!
story.!!Give!the!other!person!time!to!make!themselves!clearly!understood.!
3. Before1responding,1check1out1with1the1other1person1what1you1heard1them1say.!This!will!help!you!clarify!
whether!you!really!head!and!understood!what!they!said,!and!how!they!feel!about!what!they!said.!!Dont!
assume!you!receive1their!message.!!Check!it!out!before!jumping!to!any!conclusions.!
4. Remain1open1to1further1dialogue1as!you!both!seek!to!arrive!at!a!clear!understanding!and!appreciation!of!
what!of!what!it!is!you!both!want,!need!or!agree!to!do.!!You!may!even!profit!from!asking!the!other!person!
something!like,!what!do!you!want/need!from!me?!
5. Recognized1and1celebrate1you1differences.11Dont!let!them!be!a!barrier!to!your!understanding!each!other!
or!an!obstacle.!
6. Be1committed1to1helping1each1other1learn1the1skill1of1effective1communication.!Good!communication!will!
help!your!understanding!of!each!other!and!help!your!relationship!grow!stronger.!
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Sex, Lies & Conversation Men Never Listen And Women Always
Interrupt. Or So It May Seem.
July 23, 1990|By DEBORAH TANNEN, The Washington Post
I was addressing a small gathering in a suburban Virginia living room -- a women`s group that had
invited men to join them. Throughout the evening, one man had been particularly talkative, frequently
offering ideas and anecdotes, while his wife sat silently beside him on the couch. Toward the end of the
evening, I commented that women frequently complain that their husbands don`t talk to them. This man
quickly concurred. He gestured toward his wife and said, ``She`s the talker in our family.`` The room
burst into laughter; the man looked puzzled and hurt. `Ìt`s true,`` he explained. ``When I come home
from work I have nothing to say. If she didn`t keep the conversation going, we`d spend the whole
evening in silence.``
This episode crystallizes the irony that although American men tend to talk more than women in public
situations, they often talk less at home. And this pattern is wreaking havoc with marriage.
The pattern may have been first observed by political scientist Andrew Hacker in the late `70s.
Sociologist Catherine Kohler Riessman reports in her new book, Divorce Talk, that most of the women
she interviewed -- but only a few of the men -- gave lack of communication as the reason for their
divorces. Given the current divorce rate of nearly 50 percent, that amounts to millions of cases in the
United States every year -- a virtual epidemic of failed conversation.
In my own research, complaints from women about their husbands most often focused not on
tangible inequities, such as having given up the chance for a career to accompany a husband for his, or
doing far more than their share of daily life-support work like cleaning, cooking, social arrangements and
errands. Instead, they focused on communication: ``He doesn`t listen to me,`` ``He doesn`t talk to
me.`` I found, as Hacker observed years before, that most wives want their husbands to be, first and
foremost, conversational partners, but few husbands share this expectation of their wives.
In short, the image that best represents the current crisis is the stereotypical cartoon scene of
a man sitting at the breakfast table with a newspaper held up in front of his face, while a woman glares
at the back of it, wanting to talk.
WHY CAN`T WE TALK?
How can women and men have such different impressions of communication in marriage? Why the
widespread imbalance in their interests and expectations?
In the April issue of American Psychologist, Stanford Universitys Eleanor Maccoby reports the results
of her own and others` research showing that children`s development is most influenced by the social
structure of peer interactions. Boys and girls tend to play with children of their own gender, and their
sex-separate groups have different organizational structures and interactive norms.
I think these systematic differences in childhood socialization make talk between women and men
like cross-cultural communication, heir to all the attraction and pitfalls of that enticing but difficult
enterprise. My research on men`s and women`s conversations uncovered patterns similar to those
described for children`s groups. For women, as for girls, intimacy is the fabric of relationships, and talk
is the thread from which it is woven. Little girls create and maintain friendships by exchanging secrets;
similarly, women regard conversation as the cornerstone of friendship. So a woman expects her husband
to be a new and improved version of a best friend. What is important is not the individual subjects that
are discussed but the sense of closeness, of a life shared, that emerges when people tell their thoughts,
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feelings and impressions.

Bonds between boys can be as intense as bonds among girls, but they are based less on talking,
more on doing things together. Because they don`t assume talk is the cement that binds a relationship,
men don`t know what kind of talk women want, and they don`t miss it when it isn`t there. Boys` groups
are larger, more inclusive and more hierarchical, so boys must struggle to avoid the subordinate position
in the group. This may play a role in women`s complaints that men don`t listen to them. Some men really
don`t like to listen because being the listener makes them feel one-down, like a child listening to adults
or an employee to a boss.
Often when women tell men, ``You aren`t listening,`` and the men protest, `Ì am,`` they are
right. The impression of not listening results from misalignments in the mechanics of conversation. The
misalignment begins as soon as a man and a woman take physical positions. This became clear when I
studied videotapes made by psychologist Bruce Dorval of children and adults talking to their same-sex
best friends. I found that at every age, the girls and women faced each other directly, their eyes
anchored on each other`s faces. At every age, the boys and men sat at angles to each other and looked
elsewhere in the room, periodically glancing at each other. They were obviously attuned to each other,
often mirroring each other`s movements. But the tendency of men to face away can give women the
impression they aren`t listening even when they are.
A young woman in college was frustrated: Whenever she told her boyfriend she wanted to talk to
him, he would lie down on the floor, close his eyes and put his arm over his face. This signaled to her,
``He`s taking a nap.`` But he insisted he was listening extra hard. Normally, he looks around the room,
so he is easily distracted. Lying down and covering his eyes helped him concentrate on what she was
saying.
Analogous to the physical alignment that women and men take in conversation is their topical
alignment. The girls in my study tended to talk at length about one topic, but the boys tended to jump
from topic to topic. The second-grade girls exchanged stories about people they knew. The secondgrade boys teased, told jokes, noticed things in the room and talked about finding games to play. The
sixth-grade girls talked about problems with a mutual friend. The sixth-grade boys talked about 55
different topics, none of which extended over more than a few turns.
LISTENER NOISE
There are even simpler reasons for women`s impression that men don`t listen. Linguist Lynette
Hirschman found that women make more listener-noise, such as ``mhm,`` `ùhuh`` and ``yeah,`` to
show `Ì`m with you.`` Men, she found, more often give silent attention. Women who expect a stream
of listener noise interpret silent attention as no attention at all.
Women`s conversational habits are as frustrating to men as men`s are to women. Men who expect silent
attention interpret a stream of listener noise as overreaction or impatience. Also, when women talk to
each other in a close, comfortable setting, they often overlap, finish each other`s sentences and
anticipate what the other is about to say. This practice, which I call ``participatory listenership,`` is
often perceived by men as interruption, intrusion and lack of attention.
A parallel difference caused a man to complain about his wife, ``She just wants to talk about her
own point of view. If I show her another view, she gets mad at me.`` When most women talk to each
other, they assume a conversationalist`s job is to express agreement and support. But many men see
their conversational duty as pointing out the other side of an argument. This is heard as disloyalty by
women, and refusal to offer the requisite support. It is not that women don`t want to see other points
of view, but that they prefer them phrased as suggestions and inquiries rather than as direct challenges.
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In his book Fighting for Life, Walter Ong points out that men use `àgonistic`` or warlike,
oppositional formats to do almost anything; thus discussion becomes debate and conversation a
competitive sport. In contrast, women see conversation as a ritual means of establishing rapport.
FREEDOM TO TALK
These differences begin to clarify why women and men have such different expectations about
communication in marriage. For women, talk creates intimacy. Marriage is an orgy of closeness: You can
tell your feelings and thoughts, and still be loved. Their greatest fear is being pushed away. But men live
in a hierarchical world, where talk maintains independence and status. They are on guard to protect
themselves from being put down and pushed around.
This explains the paradox of the talkative man who said of his silent wife, ``She`s the talker.`` In the
public setting of a guest lecture, he felt challenged to show his intelligence and display his understanding
of the lecture. But at home, where he has nothing to prove and no one to defend against, he is free to
remain silent. For his wife, being home means she is free from the worry that something she says might
offend someone, or spark disagreement, or appear to be showing off; at home she is free to talk.
The communication problems that endanger marriage can`t be fixed by mechanical engineering.
They require a new conceptual framework about the role of talk in human relationships. Many of the
psychological explanations that have become second nature may not be helpful because they tend to
blame either women (for not being assertive enough) or men (for not being in touch with their feelings).
A sociolinguistic approach by which male-female conversation is seen as cross-cultural communication
allows us to understand the problem and forge solutions without blaming either party.
Once the problem is understood, improvement comes naturally, as it did to the young woman and
her boyfriend who seemed to go to sleep when she wanted to talk. Previously, she had accused him of not
listening, and he had refused to change his behavior, since that would be admitting fault. But then she
learned about and explained to him the differences in womens and men`s habitual ways of aligning
themselves in conversation. The next time she told him she wanted to talk, he began, as usual, by lying
down and covering his eyes. When the familiar negative reaction bubbled up, she reassured herself that
he really was listening. But then he sat up and looked at her. Thrilled, she asked why. He said, ``You like
me to look at you when we talk, so I`ll try to do it.`` Once he saw their differences as cross-cultural
rather than right and wrong, he independently decided to alter his behavior.
Women who feel abandoned and deprived when their husbands won`t listen to or report daily
news, may be happy to discover their husbands trying to adapt once they understand the place of small
talk in women`s relationships. But if their husbands don`t adapt, the women may still be comforted that
for men, this is not a failure of intimacy. Accepting the difference, the wives may look to their friends
or family for that kind of talk. And husbands who can`t provide it shouldn`t feel their wives have made
unreasonable demands. Some couples still will decide to divorce, but at least their decisions will be based
on realistic expectations.
In these times of resurgent ethnic conflicts, the world desperately needs cross-cultural
understanding. Like charity, successful cross-cultural communication should begin!at!home.!
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Journal1Reflection:!!Reflect!on!what!was!said.!!Did!anyone!make!a!point!that!really!made!sense!to!you?!!Were!there!
any!profound!statements?!!Was!this!discussion!useful!for!you!in!your!own!life?!!How!are!the!steps!for!successful!
communication!helpful?!
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When Harry Met Sally

Objective: To examine the ways relationships become more intimate, both emotionally and physically
and the impact of a deepening relationship.
Essential Questions:
1. How do opposite sex relationships become more emotionally intimate?
2. How do relationships change with physical intimacy?
Previewing Activity: Discuss the following questions as a class and write a brief reflection based on
your thoughts on the film and class discussion.
1. Can men and women be just friends?
2. How do you get over a break up?
a. Are there differences in how men and women get over break ups?
3. How does physical intimacy change a relationship?
a. Is this different for men and women?
b. Why does physical intimacy change a relationship?
4. What does physical intimacy mean in a relationship?
Viewing Activities: Fill in the graphic organizer below as you view the film. Write down your
observations, judgments, ideas and analysis of the characters and their interactions.
Sally
Harry and Sallys Interactions
Harry
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Archetypes!!
Objective: To discuss the impact hero and heroine archetypes have on our identities?
How do the archetypes fit into our gender stereotypes?
Do you identify with any of the archetypes?
Have you ever been stereotyped as a specific archetype for your gender?
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Robert1Munsch'The!Paper!Bag!Princess1
1. What!is!surprising!or!unusual!about!this!story?!
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2. Why!do!you!think!the!author!chose!to!have!the!princess!wear!a!paper!bag?!
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3. Why!might!this!be!considered!a!feminist!story?!
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4. Did!you!like!the!story?!!Why!or!why!not?!
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Tami1Cowden'1Heroes!and!Heroines:!Sixteen!Master!Archetypes1
1. What!is!an!archetype?!
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2. Choose!three!hero!archetypes!and!connect!them!to!a!hero!from!a!book!or!film!not!mentioned!in!
the!reading.!!Explain!why!they!fit!this!archetype.!
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3. Choose!three!heroine!archetypes!and!connect!them!to!a!heroine!from!a!book!or!film!not!mentioned!
in!the!reading.!!Explain!why!they!fit!this!archetype.!
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4. What!archetype!is!the!paper!bag!princess?!
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5. How!do!you!think!archetypes!affect!our!identity!as!individuals?!
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What are the Sixteen Master Archetypes?

The word "archetype" was coined by Carl Jung, who theorized that humans have a collective unconscious, "deposits of
the constantly repeated experiences of humanity.... a kind of readiness to reproduce over and over again the same or
similar mythical ideas...." This shared memory of experiences has resulted in a resonance of the concepts of hero and
heroine that transcends time, place and culture. Jung called these recurring personalities archetypes, from the Greek
word archetypos, meaning first of its kind.
The observations my coauthors and I made are that there are recurring character types who have starred in story after
story, entertaining and informing the human experience for millennia. Review of myths, legends, fairy tales, epic poems,
novels and film reveals that the protagonist types who recur in these stories fall into sixteen distinctive categories, eight
each for the heroes and heroines. These archetypes are not the inventions of my coauthors and me they have existed
for millennia. All we did was name and describe them, and then gather examples from an assortment of cultural media.
At his or her core, every well-defined hero or heroine is one of the respective archetypes. The archetype tells the writer
about the most basic instincts of the hero: how he thinks, how he feels, what drives him and why he chooses both his
goals and his methods. The skillful writer, in turn, conveys these instincts to the readers or audience, who, knowing at a
glance the character of this hero, settles down to watch the tale retold anew.
Archetypes are not stereotypes; they are not cookie cutters. They can be considered a framework, or even better, a lump
of clay of a particular color and consistency. Use the archetype as raw material to create a full bodied character.
!
The CHIEF: a dynamic leader, he has time for nothing but work. He might have been born to lead, or perhaps he
conquered his way to the top, but either way, hes tough, decisive, goal-oriented. That means he is also a bit overbearing
and inflexible. Think William Shatner in Star Trek; Harrison Ford in Sabrina, or Marlon Brando in The Godfather.
The BAD BOY: dangerous to know, he walks on the wild side. This is the rebel, or the boy from the wrong side of the
tracks. Hes bitter and volatile, a crushed idealist, but he's also charismatic and street smart. Think James Dean in Rebel
Without a Cause, Matt Damon in Good Will Hunting, Patrick Swayze in Dirty Dancing.
The BEST FRIEND: sweet and safe, he never lets anyone down. He's kind, responsible, decent, a regular Mr. Nice Guy.
This man doesn't enjoy confrontation and can sometimes be unassertive because he doesn't want to hurt anyone's
feelings. But he'll always be there. Think Jimmy Stewart in Its a Wonderful Life, Adam Sandler in The Wedding Singer,
Hugh Grant in Four Weddings & a Funeral, Kevin Spacey in American Beauty.
The CHARMER: more than a gigolo, he creates fantasies. Hes fun, irresistible, a smooth operator, yet not too
responsible or dependable. He might be a playboy or a rogue, but he's doesnt commit to a woman easily. Think Leonardo
DiCaprio in Titanic, James Garner/Mel Gibson in Maverick, Don Johnson in Nash Bridges, Dustin Hoffman in Midnight
Cowboy.
The LOST SOUL: a sensitive being, he understands. Tortured, secretive, brooding, and unforgiving. Thats this man. But
he's also vulnerable. He might be a wanderer or an outcast. In work he's creative, but probably also a loner. Think Mel
Gibson in Lethal Weapon, David Duchovny in The X-Files, Beast in Beauty and the Beast, Shrek.
The PROFESSOR: coolly analytical, he knows every answer. Hes logical, introverted, and inflexible, but genuine about
his feelings. At work, he likes cold, hard facts, thank you very much, but he's also honest and faithful, and wont let you
down. Think Leonard Nimoy in Star Trek, Robin Williams in Flubber, Kelsey Gramner in Frasier, Russell Crowe in A
Beautiful Mind.
The SWASHBUCKLER: Mr. Excitement, hes an adventure. This guy is action, action, and more action. He's physical
and daring. Fearless, hes a daredevil, or an explorer. He needs thrills and chills to keep him happy. Think Antonio
Banderas in The Mask of Zorro, Michael Douglas in Romancing the Stone, Harrison Ford in Raiders of the Lost Ark.
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The WARRIOR: a noble champion, he acts with honor. This man is the reluctant rescuer or the knight in shining armor.
He's noble, tenacious, relentless, and he always sticks up for the underdog. If you need a protector, hes your guy. He
doesnt buckle under to rules, or and he doesnt go along just to get along. Think Clint Eastwood in Dirty Harry, Russell
Crowe in Gladiator, Mel Gibson in Braveheart.
The BOSS: a real go-getter, she climbs the ladder of success. This is a take charge female, who accepts nothing but
respect. Reaching her goal post the most important thing in life to her, and she isnt bothered by a few ruffled feathers
along the way. Think Annette Bening in American Beauty, Candice Bergen in Murphy Brown, Cate Blanchett in Elizabeth.
The Seductress: an enchantress, she gets her way. This is a lady who is long accustomed to sizing up everyone in a
room the minute she enters. Mysterious and manipulative, she hides a streak of distrust a mile wide and ten miles deep.
Cynicism guides her every action, and her tough sense of survival gives her the means to do whatever is necessary to
come out ahead. Think Liz Taylor in Cleopatra, Sharon Stone in Basic Instinct, Vivian Leigh in Gone With the Wind,
Madonna in Evita.
The SPUNKY KID: gutsy and true, she is loyal to the end. She is a favorite of many writers, and for good reason. You
cant help but root for her. Shes the girl with moxie. Shes not looking to be at the top of the heap; she just wants to be in
her own little niche. Shes the team player, the one who is always ready to lend a hand. Think Meg Ryan in Sleepless in
Seattle, Melanie Griffith in Working Girl, Mary Tyler Moore in The Mary Tyler Moore Show, Whoopi Goldberg in Sister Act,
Fiona in Shrek.
The FREE SPIRIT: eternal optimist, she dances to unheard tunes. Playful and fun-loving, she travels through life with a
hop, skip and a jump, always stopping to smell the flowers and admire the pretty colors. She acts on a whim and follows
her heart, not her head. Think Jenna Elfman in Dharma & Greg, Lucille Ball in I Love Lucy, Alicia Silverstone in Clueless.
The WAIF: a distressed damsel, she bends with the wind. Shes the original damsel in distress. Her child-like innocence
evokes a protective urge in the beastliest of heroes. But dont be fooled, because the WAIF has tremendous strength of
will. She wont fight back; shell endure. Think Judy Garland in the Wizard of Oz, Marilyn Monroe in The Misfits, Peta
Wilson in La Femme Nikita, Demi Moore in Ghost, Halle Barry in Monsters Ball.
The LIBRARIAN: controlled and clever, she holds back. Shes prim and proper, but underneath that tight bun lurks a
passionate woman. Dressed to repress, she might be the know-it-all whose hand is always up in class, or maybe she is
the shy mouse hiding in the library. Think Kathleen Turner in Romancing the Stone, Ellen Barkin in The Big Easy, Shelley
Long in Cheers, Gillian Anderson in The X-Files.
The CRUSADER: a dedicated fighter, she meets her commitments. No shrinking violet, no distressed damsel, here. This
lady is on a mission, and she marches right over anyone in her way. Tenacious and headstrong, she brushes off any
opposition to her goal. Think Diana Rigg in The Avengers, Sigourney Weaver in Alien, Sarah Michelle Gellar in Buffy, the
Vampire Slayer, Lucy Lawless in Xena, Warrior Princess.
The NURTURER: serene and capable, she nourishes the spirit. Not always Suzy Homemaker, this lady takes care of
everyone. She is a wonderful listener, and a joy to have around, this heroine takes care of everyone. Shes serene,
capable and optimistic. Think Michelle Pfeiffer in Ladyhawke, Alicia Nash in A Beautiful Mind, Julie Andrews in Mary
Poppins.
Journal:
Do these archetypes represent another layer of self or of the masks we use to define the self?
Write a journal entry in which you discuss the impact of hero and heroine archetypes on self-identity.
Helpful questions to consider: Do you identify with any of the archetypes? Do you aspire to any of the
qualities contained within an archetype? Do you think these archetypes create gender boundaries?
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Sexual!Harassment!
Objective:1To!discuss!the!problem!of!sexual!harassment,!understand!its!impacts,!examine!its!causes!and!
evaluate!ways!to!stop!it.!
Essential1Questions:!!
1. What!is!sexual!harassment?!
2. What!is!the!impact!of!sexual!harassment?!
3. How!do!we!stop!sexual!harassment?!
!
Basic1Understandings:1
!
Sexual!harassment!occurs!whenever!unwelcome!conduct,!on!the!basis!of!gender,!affects!a!person!
by!making!them!feel!uncomfortable.!
Define!sexual!harassment!in!our!own!words:!___________________________________________________!
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40%I60%!of!all!working!women!have!been!affected!by!sexual!harassment.!!Men!are!also!harassed,!
but!rarely!report!it.!!Sexual!harassment!is!a!huge!problem!in!both!middle!school!and!high!school,!but!it!
does!not!get!the!attention!it!needs.!
!
Sexual!harassment!creates!a!hostile!environment!where!the!victim!feels!unsafe!and!cant!do!his/her!
work!because!the!harassment!has!interfered!with!his/her!ability!to!focus.!
Explain!who!is!impacted!by!sexual!harassment!and!describe!the!possible!effect.!______________________!
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Examples1of1sexual1harassment1can1include:1
1. Physical!ActsI!unnecessary!touching,!bra!snapping,!butt!grabbing,!unwanted!kissing,!unwanted!
hugging,!or!blocking!a!persons!path!
2. Verbal!BehaviorI!foul!or!obscene!language,!sexual!propositions,!crude!jokes!about!gender!specific!
traits,!commenting!on!someones!physical!attributes,!or!spreading!rumors!about!a!persons!sex!life.!!
This!category!includes!social!media!
List!examples!of!sexual!harassment!you!have!witnessed!at!Arcadia!High!School!this!week:!
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How1do1we1stop1it?!
1. Tell!that!person!to!stop!!!Let!them!know!what!they!are!doing!is!inappropriate.!
2. Tell!a!teacher!or!administrator!!!!!
3. Dont!just!live!in!fear!get!help.!
4. Stand!up!when!you!see!it!going!on.!
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Journal1Entry:!!Why!is!sexual!harassment!so!prevalent?!!Share!your!stories.!!Give!your!opinion.!
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Relationship!Violence!
Objective:!!
1. To!examine!the!types!of!abuse!that!exist!in!both!teen!and!adult!relationships.!
2. To!discuss!the!patterns!of!violence!and!how!those!patterns!keep!individuals!trapped!in!abusive!relationships.!
3. To!discuss!the!impact!of!an!abusive!relationship.!
!
Essential1Questions:!
1. What!is!abuse?!
2. Why!do!people!stay!in!abusive!relationships?!
3. What!kind!of!work!do!individuals!need!to!do!in!order!to!heal!after!and!abusive!relationship?!
4. What!resources!are!available!to!help?!
!
Types1of1Abuse:1Abusers!use!fear,!oppression,!and!violence!to!control!their!partners.!
Emotional1Abuse!!isolating,!ignoring,!terrorizing,!exploiting,!or!verbally!attacking!the!victim,!ridiculing,!
blaming!and!neglecting!physical!and/or!emotional!needs,!spreading!rumors!or!lies,!and!threatening!to!out!
the!victim!(e.g.,!as!gay),!teaching!children!to!yell!at,!disrespect,!or!demean!the!victim,!destroying!victims!
property/items!that!are!meaningful!to!the!victim!
Verbal1Abuse!!using!harsh!words!to!put!the!victim!down!and!make!them!feel!bad!about!themselves,!yelling,!
name!calling,!threatening!to!hurt!or!kill,!belittling,!and!degrading!the!victim!
Sexual1Abuse!!forcing!victims!to!engage!in!sexual!acts!against!their!will,!making!constant!sexual!demands,!
sabotaging!the!use!of!birth!control,!wanting!sex!after!abuse,!forcing!to!have!sex!with!others,!forcing!
pregnancy!or!abortion!
Spiritual1Abuse!!not!allowing!the!victim!to!practice!her/his!faith,!forcing!them!to!take!on!another!faith,!
using!sacred!books!or!God!to!justify!abuse,!threatening!to!expose!private!or!damaging!information!to!faith!
community!
Financial/Resource1Abuse!!controlling!financial!matters,!controlling!how!money!is!distributed,!limiting!or!
denying!access!to!bank!
accounts,!withholding!child!
support,!taking!or!disabling!
the!car,!demanding!an!
explanation!of!how!money!
is!spent,!harassing!at!work,!
prohibiting!partner!from!
getting!a!job!or!pursuing!
education,!hiding!or!
destroying!visas!or!
immigration!papers!
Physical1Abuse!!hitting,!
slapping,!punching,!
pushing,!and!pinching,!
strangling,!kicking,!refusing!
to!help!when!sick,!burning,!
pulling!hair,!holding!down,!
and!sabotaging!access!to!
medications!or!medical!
appointments,!injuring!pets!
as!a!threat!to!the!victim!
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Warning1Signs1of1an1Abusive1Relationship:1
My!family!and!friends!didnt!know!how!to!help!me;!they!just!wanted!me!to!leave.!
Ask1yourself:1
Is!my!partner!unable!to!express!anger!without!becoming!verbally!or!physically!abusive?!
Do!I!need!to!ask!permission!to!go!out,!get!a!job,!go!to!school,!or!spend!money?!
Do!I!have!to!cover!or!make!excuses!for!my!partners!behavior?!
Am!I!put!down!or!called!names!when!we!are!alone!or!with!others?!
Am!I!blamed!whenever!things!go!wrong?!
Is!my!partner!a!nasty!drunk!or!drug!user?!
Does!my!partner!control!the!time!I!spend!with!family!or!friends?!
Am!I!forced!to!have!unwanted!sex,!even!after!Ive!said!no?!
Am!I!afraid!when!I!am!with!my!partner?!Why?!
1
Types1of1Abuse1in1Teenage1Relationships:!
Definition1of1Teen1Dating1Violence:1
Teen!dating!violence!is!a!pattern!of!physically,!sexually,!verbally,!and/or!emotionally!abusive!behaviors!that!
one!person!uses!to!exercise!power!and!control!over!another!person!in!a!dating!relationship.!!!
TEEN1POWER1AND1CONTROL1WHEEL:1
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!Is!it!abuse!if!my!boyfriend!gets!upset!and!yells!at!me!for!speaking!to!other!guys?!
Teen1Statistics:11
"
"
"
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"
1!in!5!female!high!school!students!
report!being!physically!and/or!
sexually!abused!by!a!partner.!
57%!of!teens!know!someone!who!
has!been!physically,!sexually,!or!
verbally!abusive!!
Only!33%!of!teens!who!were!in!an!
abusive!relationship!ever!told!
anyone!about!the!abuse.!
38%!of!date!rape!survivors!are!
between!14I17!years!old.!
Nearly!oneIhalf!of!adult!sex!
offenders!report!committing!their!
first!sexual!offense!prior!to!the!
age!of!18.!
The1Cycle1of1Violence!
Sometimes!I!could!predict!when!he!was!
going!to!hit!me.!!Relationships!with!
abusers!can!be!unpredictable,!but!some!
relationships!follow!patterns!that!may!
resemble!cycles!or!waves.!!Below!is!a!
diagram!of!the!Cycle!of!Violence;!the!3!
phases!are:!
The'seduction/honeymoon'phase,!in!which!the!abuser!acts!affectionately!and!apologizes!for!his/her!violent!
behavior,!!
The'tensionAbuilding'phase,!in!which!the!victim!feels!anxious!as!she/he!awaits!a!violent!eruption,!
The'violence/eruption'phase,!in!which!the!actual!violence!takes!place.!!
The!cycles!that!take!place!in!relationships!can!happen!in!this!order,!but!dont!necessarily!have!to.!!Over!time,!the!
cycles!tend!to!be!shorter!and!the!eruptions!become!more!extreme!or!violent.!
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Long1Term1Effects1of1Domestic1Violence1
Domestic!violence!has!wide!ranging!and!sometimes!longIterm!effects!on!victims.!The!effects!can!be!both!physical!and!
psychological!and!can!impact!the!direct!victim!as!well!as!any!children!who!witness!parental!violence.!
Physical1Effects1
The!physical!health!effects!of!domestic!violence!are!varied,!but!victims!are!known!to!suffer!physical!and!mental!
problems!as!a!result!of!domestic!violence.!Battering!is!the!single!major!cause!of!injury!to!women,!more!significant!that!
auto!accidents,!rapes,!or!muggings.!!
Many!of!the!physical!injuries!sustained!by!women!seem!to!cause!medical!difficulties!as!women!grow!older.!
Arthritis,!hypertension!and!heart!disease!have!been!identified!by!battered!women!as!directly!caused!by!aggravated!by!
domestic!violence!early!in!their!adult!lives.!Medical!disorders!such!as!diabetes!or!hypertension!may!be!aggravated!in!
victims!of!domestic!violence!because!the!abuser!may!not!allow!them!access!to!medications!or!adequate!medical!care.!!
Psychological1Effects1
While!the!primary!and!immediate!focus!for!many!people!is!the!physical!injury!suffered!by!victims,!the!emotional!
and!psychological!abuse!inflicted!by!batterers!likely!has!longer!term!impacts!and!may!be!more!costly!to!treat!in!the!
shortIrun!than!physical!injury.!Depression!remains!the!most!common!long!term!effect.!!!In!addition,!battered!women!are!
at!greater!risk!for!suicide!attempts.!!Along!with!depression,!domestic!violence!victims!may!also!experience!
Posttraumatic!Stress!Disorder!(PTSD),!which!is!characterized!by!symptoms!such!as!flashbacks,!intrusive!imagery,!
nightmares,!anxiety,!emotional!numbing,!insomnia,!hyperIvigilance,!and!avoidance!of!traumatic!triggers.!!
!
Economic1Effects1
Victims!often!lose!their!jobs!because!of!absenteeism!due!to!illness!as!a!result!of!the!violence.!Absences!
occasioned!by!court!appearances!can!also!jeopardize!their!livelihood.!Victims!may!have!to!move!many!times!to!avoid!
violence.!Moving!is!costly!and!can!interfere!with!continuity!of!employment.!Many!victims!have!had!to!forgo!financial!
security!during!divorce!proceedings!to!avoid!further!abuse.!As!a!result!they!are!impoverished!as!they!grow!older.!!
Victims!are!not!the!only!ones!who!pay!the!price.!Women!who!were!victims!of!intimate!partner!violence!costs!health!
plans!approximately!92%!more!than!a!random!sample!of!general!female!enrollees.!Findings!of!significantly!higher!mental!
health!service!use!are!supported!by!other!studies.!
Impacts1on1Children1
OneIthird!of!the!children!who!witness!the!battering!of!their!mother!demonstrate!significant!behavioral!and/or!
emotional!problems,!including!psychosomatic!disorders,!stuttering,!anxiety!and!fears,!sleep!disruption,!excessive!crying!
and!school!problems.!Those!boys!who!witness!abuse!of!their!mother!by!their!father!are!more!likely!to!inflict!severe!
violence!as!adults.!Data!suggest!that!girls!who!witness!maternal!abuse!may!tolerate!abuse!as!adults!more!than!girls!who!
do!not.!!These!negative!effects!may!be!diminished!if!the!child!benefits!from!intervention!by!the!law!and!domestic!
violence!programs.!!
The!longIterm!effects!of!child!sexual!abuse!include!depression!and!selfIdestructive!behavior,!anger!and!hostility,!
poor!selfIesteem,!feelings!of!isolation!and!stigma,!difficulty!in!trusting!others!(especially!men),!and!martial!and!
relationship!problems,!and!a!tendency!toward!revictimization.!!Other!effects!identified!include!runaway!behavior,!
hysterical!seizures,!compulsive!rituals,!drug!and!school!problems.!!
Your1thoughts,1connections,1ideas:____________________________________________________________________1
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Equality1Wheel!
Everyone!deserves!to!be!in!a!relationship!where!they!feel!safe!and!are!treated!with!respect.!!The!Equality!
Wheel!is!an!example!of!behaviors!that!happen!in!a!healthy!relationship!'!one!that!is!based!on!equality!and!mutual!
respect.!!Relationships!are!not!perfect,!but!in!healthy!relationships,!both!partners!are!striving!to!have!a!relationship!
that!resembles!the!diagram!below.1
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Journal: Free write connections to class discussion today
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Rape
Objective:
To discuss different types of rape.
To discuss the emotional. psychological, and physical effects of rape.
A message to rape victims from House Republicans: http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/wedfebruary-2-2011/rape-victim-abortion-funding
Date Rape:
Statistics:
Effects of Sexual Assault:
Thought and Feelings of victims:
Recovery:
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Sexuality1and1Feminism1
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Objective:1To!discuss!our!cultural!view!of!women!and!their!sexuality!and!how!that!impacts!womens!perspectives!of!
themselves.!
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Essential1Questions:!!
1. What!is!a!woman?!
2. How!are!women!judged!in!our!culture?!
3. Why!are!women!judged!the!way!they!are!in!our!culture?!
4. In!what!ways!is!our!culture!defeminizing?!
5. How!has!this!cultural!view!of!women!impacted!who!you!are?!
"Grand Canyon"
I love my country
By which I mean
I am indebted joyfully
To all the people throughout its history
Who have fought the government to make right
Where so many cunning sons and daughters
Our foremothers and forefathers
Came singing through slaughter
Came through hell and high water
So that we could stand here
And behold breathlessly the sight
How a raging river of tears
Cut a grand canyon of light
Yes, I've been so many places
Flown through vast empty spaces
With stewardesses whose hands
Look much older than their faces
I've tossed so many napkins
Into that big hole in the sky
Been at the bottom of the Atlantic
Seething in a two-ply
Looking up through all that water
And the fishes swimming by
And I don't always feel lucky
But I'm smart enough to try
Cause humility has buoyancy
And above us only sky
So I lean in
Breathe deeper that brutal burning smell
That surrounds the smoldering wreckage
That I've come to love so well
Yes, color me stunned and dazzled
By all the red white and blue flashing lights
In the American intersection
Where black crashed head on with white
Comes a melody
Comes a rhythm
A particular resonance
That is us and only us
Comes a screaming ambulance

A hand that you can trust
Laid steady on your chest
Working for the better good
(Which is good at its best)
And too, bearing witness
Like a woman bears a child...
With all her might
Born of the greatest pain
Into a grand canyon of light
I mean, no song has gone unsung here
And this joint is strung crazy tight
And people been raising up their voices
Since it just ain't been right
With all the righteous rage
And all the bitter spite
That will accompany us out
Of this long night
That will grab us by the hand
When we are ready to take flight
Seatback and tray-table
In the upright and locked position
Shocked to tears by each new vision
Of all that my ancestors have done
Like, say, the women who gave their lives
So that I could have one
People, we are standing at ground zero
Of the feminist revolution
Yeah, it was an inside job
Stoic and sly
One we're supposed to forget
And downplay and deny
But I think the time is nothing
If not nigh
To let the truth out
Coolest f-word ever deserves a fucking shout!
I mean
Why can't all decent men and women
Call themselves feminists?
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Out of respect
For those who fought for this
I mean, look around
We have this
Yes
I love my country
By which I mean
I am indebted joyfully
To all the people throughout its history
Who have fought the government to make right

Where so many cunning sons and daughters
Our foremothers and forefathers
Came singing through slaughter
Came through hell and high water
So that we could stand here
And behold breathlessly the sight
How a raging river of tears
Is cutting a grand canyon of light
Feminism:1
DefinitionI!
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Feminism!and!SexualityI!
1. Is!there!are!difference!in!how!our!culture!perceives!male!and!female!sexuality?!!If!so,!why?!
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2. How!do!you!think!our!increasing!openness!to!sexuality!has!impacted!our!culture?!
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3. Has!the!increasing!openness!removed!the!spirituality!from!sexuality?!
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4. Do!we!need!to!talk!about!sexual!violence!as!a!culture?!
1
1
1
1
1
Vagina1Monologues:1Reactions,!connections,!thoughts!
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Post'Reading1Discussion1Questions:1
How!is!sexuality!presented!in!our!culture!today?!
What!is!feminism?!
Does!feminism!connect!to!sexuality?!!Why!or!why!not?!
Is!domestic!violence!a!problem!in!our!culture?!!Why?!Who!does!it!effect?!
Is!violence!against!women!connected!to!sexuality?!
How!are!the!perpetrators!of!violence!effect!by!their!acts?!
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Men in Our Culture

Objective: To discuss our cultural view of men and how societys definition of them impacts mens
perspectives of themselves.
1. What is a man?
2. How are men judged in our culture?
3. Why are men judged the way they are in our culture?
4. In what ways is our culture emasculating?
5. How has this cultural view of men impacted who you are?
What is the voice of the male in our society. Yes it is true that men still make more then women
and that the vast majority of jobs at the top are held by men. Does that mean that men have a voice of
expression? We examined the need for a female voice in the Vagina Monologues. That voice needed to
address all the ways that women are objectified and the ways that they can move beyond that
objectification to a place of empowerment. Do men have a need to discuss their own objectification?
What does it mean to be a man? In what ways do men need to be empowered? Perhaps we should start
more simple. What does it mean to be a little boy? Consider this chart:
How little boys act:
What little boys need:
Things little boys like
annoying noises
love
building toys
touching everything
attention
video games
funny faces
acceptance
sports
running
to care for others
playing with friends
tackling
Now consider the expectations of young children in school: sit still, dont disrupt others, focus on one
boring task where you sit read and write, learn to behave and cooperate with the group
So then is learning to behave and act in a way that is the opposite of who you are part of what it means
to be a little boy?
If this is how a mans life starts out, how does he learn to be a man who is his authentic self?
So far in class we have learned that men are doers. They show their love rather than speak it. They
enjoy doing things with friends rather than sitting around and talking. But what else is a man? Consider
the following poem.
The New Macho

He cleans up after himself.
He cleans up the planet.
He is a role model for young men.
He is rigorously honest and fiercely optimistic.
He holds himself accountable.
He knows what he feels.
He knows how to cry and he lets it go.
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He knows how to rage without hurting others.

He knows how to fear and how to keep moving.
He seeks self-mastery.
Hes let go of childish shame.
He feels guilty when hes done something wrong.
He is kind to men, kind to women, kind to children.
He teaches others how to be kind.
He says hes sorry.
He stopped blaming women or his parents or men for his pain years ago.
He stopped letting his defenses ruin his relationships.
He stopped letting his penis run his life.
He has enough self-respect to tell the truth.
He creates intimacy and trust with his actions.
He has men that he trusts and that he turns to for support.
He knows how to roll with it.
He knows how to make it happen.
He is disciplined when he needs to be.
He is flexible when he needs to be.
He knows how to listen from the core of his being.
Hes not afraid to get dirty.
Hes ready to confront his own limitations.
He has high expectations for himself and for those he connects with.
He looks for ways to serve others.
He knows he is an individual.
He knows that we are all one.
He knows he is an animal and a part of nature.
He knows his spirit and his connection to something greater.
He knows future generations are watching his actions.
He builds communities where people are respected and valued.
He takes responsibility for himself.
In times of need, he will be his brothers keeper.
He knows his higher purpose.
He loves with fierceness.
He laughs with abandon, because he gets the joke.
2010 Boysen Hodgson.
The ManKind Project.!
Analyze the representation of how men feel in our culture in the selection from Fight Club. Take
notes reflecting on the film and our class discussion. Use the essential questions to help you
reflect.
Fight Club: (3:52-28:00)
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Teenage Sexuality
Objective: To examine the impact of a sexual relationship on teens.
Essential Question: What are the physical and emotional effects of sex on teens?
Sexually Active: Terms
How do you know when you are ready for a sexual relationship?
Is there minimum age? (How old should you be before you have sex?)
What do you think the average age is for the first time? Is this too young? Are there gender
differences?
How does having sex change a relationship?
What are the possible negative results of a sexual relationship? Positive results?
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The Triangular Theory of Love: Intimacy refers to the feeling part of loveas when we feel close to
another. Passion is loves motivating aspectfeeling physically aroused and attracted to someone.
Commitment is the thinking componentwhen we realize that a relationship is love.
Liking8!true!friendships!without!passion!
or!long8term!commitment!
Romantic!Love8!attracted!to!each!other!
but!without!commitment!(summer!
romance)!
Compassionate!Love8!long!term!
committed!friendship!such!as!marriage!
where!passion!has!faded.!
Infatuation8!obsessive!love!at!first!sight!
without!intimacy!or!commitment!!
Does this theory help to answer questions about when it is appropriate to make a relationship physically
intimate?
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Your decisions with your body are not just about your feelings, they are about your health too.
How many people at Arcadia do you think have STDs? What STDs are commonly spread through
oral sex? Gonorrhea of the throat anyone?? 570,000 15-24 year olds were diagnosed with it in
2012. How about chlamydia, it often has no symptoms!
What are some of the facts/statements about STDs surprised you?
Do you feel like you have heard this information over and over? Do you/will you listen?
Why do so many young people fail to listen?
Will you get tested with your partner? Why or why not?
!
Journal: What will you take with you from todays discussion?
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Marriage
Objectives:
1. To understand the reasons why people get married.
2. To understand the culture of a married relationship.
Essential Question: Why do people get married?
What is marriage?
Marriage
1. What is marriage?
2. Do you have an interest in eventually being married?

a. Why do/dont you want to get married?
Yes
No
3. From your observations- What constitutes a successful marriage?
4. From your observations- What problems do people encounter in their marriages?
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5. What traits and characteristics will your partner have?
6. The divorce rate in America for first marriage is 50% percent, according to Jennifer Baker
of the Forest Institute of Professional Psychology in Springfield, Missouri. What can we do in
our relationships to help put a halt to the rising trend?
7. What questions would you like to ask Ms. Hodgson about marriage?
8. Additional thoughts on marriage you would like to express:

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Divorce
Objectives:
1. To examine the reasons why people get divorce.
2. To discuss the impact of divorce.
Thought: In a society so adapted to dysfunction, divorce is a common characteristic of this great
American culture; so engrained we often time take its impact for granted!- Ruggs
Terms:
Divorce
Story Time- Can you relate??? Anything surprising??? Take some notes??
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Student Stories:
Questions to help you share:
1. How old were you when your parents separated?
2. Can you tell us how it felt when it initially occurred?
3. How was custody established? Did this cause any problems between our parents?
4. Do you know why your parents got divorced?
5. Do your parents have a civil relationship today?
6. Do you resent any of your parents?
7. What responsibilities did you adopt as a result of the divorce?
8. What role have steps played in your life?
9. Are there any traits or characteristics that you fell you possess as a result of your families
dysfunction? (lasting impact)
Generalizations:
What do these stories have in common? Similarities/ differences? What does age have to do with
divorces impact? Traits/characteristics?
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Journal: What is the impact of divorce?

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Alcohol
Objectives:
1. To understand the impact both drugs and alcohol can have on the family.
2. To understand alcoholism.
3. To understand teen drinking.
Brainstorm:
Alcohol
1. What experiences do you have with alcohol?
2. Do you know any alcoholics?

a. What can you share about your experience?
3. When was the first time you tried drinking?

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4. How often do kids at Arcadia drink?
a. How do they get alcohol?
5. What is a high school party like?
6. What experience do you have with drinking and driving?

a. Have you ever taken the chance?
b. Would you call your parents if you were ever put in a bad situation?
7. If you drink, do you parents know?
a. What is their position on the issue?
8. Do you agree with the drinking age? (explain)
9. Why is alcoholism such a problem in our society?
Based on your own experiences what is the impact of alcohol on our society?
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Adult Children of Alcoholics World Service Organization, Inc.

The Problem
Many of us found that we had several characteristics in common as a result of being brought
up in an alcoholic or dysfunctional household. We had come to feel isolated and uneasy with other
people, especially authority figures. To protect ourselves, we became people-pleasers, even though
we lost our own identities in the process. All the same we would mistake any personal criticism as a
threat. We either became alcoholics (or practiced other addictive behavior) ourselves, or married
them, or both. Failing that, we found other compulsive personalities, such as a workaholic, to fulfill our
sick need for abandonment.
We lived life from the standpoint of victims. Having an overdeveloped sense of responsibility,
we preferred to be concerned with others rather than ourselves. We got guilt feelings when we stood
up for ourselves rather than giving in to others. Thus, we became reactors, rather than actors, letting
others take the initiative. We were dependent personalities, terrified of abandonment, willing to do
almost anything to hold on to a relationship in order not to be abandoned emotionally. Yet we kept
choosing insecure relationships because they matched our childhood relationship with alcoholic or
dysfunctional parents.
These symptoms of the family disease of alcoholism or other dysfunction made us co-victims,
those who take on the characteristics of the disease without necessarily ever taking a drink. We
learned to keep our feelings down as children and kept them buried as adults. As a result of this
conditioning, we confused love with pity, tending to love those we could rescue. Even more selfdefeating, we became addicted to excitement in all our affairs, preferring constant upset to workable
relationships.
This is a description, not an indictment.
Adapted from The Laundry List
The Laundry List 14 Traits of an Adult Child of an Alcoholic
1. We became isolated and afraid of people and authority figures.
2. We became approval seekers and lost our identity in the process.
3. We are frightened of angry people and any personal criticism.
4. We either become alcoholics, marry them or both, or find another compulsive personality such
as a workaholic to fulfill our sick abandonment needs.
5. We live life from the viewpoint of victims and we are attracted by that weakness in our love and
friendship relationships.
6. We have an overdeveloped sense of responsibility and it is easier for us to be concerned with
others rather than ourselves; this enables us not to look too closely at our own faults, etc.
7. We get guilt feelings when we stand up for ourselves instead of giving in to others.
8. We became addicted to excitement.
9. We confuse love and pity and tend to "love" people we can "pity" and "rescue."
10. We have "stuffed" our feelings from our traumatic childhoods and have lost the ability to feel or
express our feelings because it hurts so much (Denial).
11. We judge ourselves harshly and have a very low sense of self-esteem.
12. We are dependent personalities who are terrified of abandonment and will do anything to hold
on to a relationship in order not to experience painful abandonment feelings, which we
received from living with sick people who were never there emotionally for us.
13. Alcoholism is a family disease; and we became para-alcoholics and took on the characteristics
of that disease even though we did not pick up the drink.
14. Para-alcoholics are reactors rather than actors.
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Drug Use
Objectives:
1. To discuss the impact both drugs and alcohol can have on the family.
2. To discuss addiction.
3. To discuss teen drug use.
Brainstorm:
Drugs
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1. Do you have personal experiences with the impact of drug use?
a. What can you share about your experience?
2. How often do kids at Arcadia do drugs?
a. How do they get drugs?
3. Do you think there are many parents of Arcadia students who do drugs?
4. Should marijuana be illegal? Why or Why not?
5. What lies do you think you have been told about drugs and their effects?
6. What have you been told that you think is true?
7. What do you think is lacking in our education about drugs?
8. Why do you think drug use is such a problem in our society?

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The Breakfast Club

Essential Question: What can we learn from our own experiences and the experiences of others?
Purpose: We began this course by examining ourselves and how others perceive us. Throughout the
course we have looked at decisions, actions, and consequences individuals face in their lives.
Journal Response:
Part 1-The Breakfast Club
1. How are the characters shaped/changed by their interactions?
2. How are interactions we had in class similar to those in the movie?
3. What was the moral of the movie?
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Part 2- Make deeper connections to the class over the course of this semester
Some questions to consider include:
1. What did you learn?
2. What new perspective did you gain?
3. What surprised you?
4. How did class discussion help shape your view?
5. Did any of the stories shared affect you? How?
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Spirituality
Objective: To think critically about the purpose and meaning of life.
Why are we here?
Do things happen for a reason?
What happens when you die?
What is the purpose of life?
What happened before you were born?
What are you?
What is really real?
Is spirituality/religious belief static or a journey?
If it is a journey is there a destination? Is the purpose the journey itself?
What is the value of a spiritual journey?
Death:
Traditional dualism:
What do we need?
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Thoughts and quotes to ponder:

Knowing others is intelligence;
Knowing yourself is true wisdom.
Mastering others is strength;
Mastering yourself is true power.
-- The Tao Te Ching
The Buddha said his message would be distorted in 1,000 years and if women were allowed to join the
sangha 500 years. Though the patriarchal nature of this statement is frustrating, there is another
question that arises out of this statement. Why will the message become distorted?
Thoughts, ideas reactions to Ms. Hodgsons journey
Journal: The individual journey

Describe your own personal journey or reflect on Ms. Hodgsons or respond to the essential questions or
explain why you dont like thinking about all of this stuff.
Option- your own personal journey
What questions have you pondered about religion? What do you believe and why? How have your beliefs
changed throughout your life?
Option - Respond to Ms. Hodgsons story
What could you connect with? What was interesting? What did you think was totally bizarre?
Option - explain why you dont like thinking about all of this stuff
What about religion and spirituality makes you uncomfortable? Explain what ideas/topics you want to
run from and ask yourself why.!
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Final Assessment
Directions: Answer in complete sentences, thoroughly and thoughtfully reflecting on our work in Human
Relations.
1. What was the purpose of this course?
2. What did you get out of each unit? Write a short reflection:
a. Know thy Self
b. Relationships
c. Sexuality
d. Marriage & Divorce
e. Drugs & Alcohol
f. Spirituality
3. Which unit(s) were the most influential for you? Why?
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4.
Did any of your classmates have an impact on you? If so WHO and WHY?
5. Write a very open and honest reflection entitled: My Generation
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6. Rank yourself for each:

a.
b.
c.
d.
e.
How did I perform in seminar?

Was I a distraction at times?
Did I stay on task in discussions?
Did I put effort into my journal entries?
Did I attend class?
7. Rank yourself over all using the above criteria:

a. Explain your rationale for this ranking:
Circle One:
1
1
1
Low
1
1
2
2
2
2
2
3
3
3
3
3
4
4
4
High
4
4
8. So much of this course is based on student participation and for that reason some Human
Relations classes have been more dynamic and rewarding then others. Were their any classes
that stood out for you? Why?
9. What did you think of the class or your classmates?
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10. Has this class changed some of your perspectives?
a. Examine your collage and think about how you have changed over this semester (related or
unrelated to the class). Would you add anything different to it now? If so, what would
you add?
11. Comments for the teacher:
Feedback from Ms. Hodgson
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!

Seeing Beyond the Cover

Make you pauper

I'll be dreaming, dreaming...

3. What other values do you hold? Where do they come from?

4. How do values help define who we think we are?

My actions that support this value

My actions that go against this value

3. The best part of friendship is.

4. The hardest part of friendship is

6. My friends have helped me to see __________ about my self.

7. My friends pushed me to(can be positive or negative)

8. Human beings need friends because

What Will I Be Like When I Am A Parent?

What do I like about my parents?

Answer the following questions thoughtfully and thoroughly.

b. Did you learn a lesson?

c. What would you have done differently from your parents?

4. As we go though high school we dont always make the best decisions.

5. What is tough love? Do you have experience with this? (examples)

6. What will your view of education be?

7. What do you think of home schooling?

a. Can you give an example?

b. Why is this unhealthy for parents?

c. Why is it unhealthy for children?

11. What will I do to stress the importance of FAMILY?

Possible journal response: How will I parent my children?

Impact of Childhood Relationships

Step 3: Positive Childhood Memories

Step 4: Childhood Frustrations

Creating a Positive Mantra

After you watch:

Why do you need to know your shame?

Moving Beyond your Shame: Create a Positive Mantra

negative expectations of others

negative expectation of others

Males vs. Females

sex the first thing that comes to

How do women think about men?

How do men think about women?

What do males want out of a

Advice for the opposite sex on

Advice for the opposite sex on

how to have more successful

how to have more successful

relationships: (womens advice

relationships: (mens advice for

Self-Image and Intimate Relationships

Someone with a negative self image

Someone who is an extrovert

Someone who is an introvert

Someone who is independent

Someone who is dependent

feelings and impressions.

When Harry Met Sally

What are the Sixteen Master Archetypes?

Effects of Sexual Assault:

Thought and Feelings of victims:

Journal: Free write

Comes a screaming ambulance

Who have fought the government to make right

Men in Our Culture

How little boys act:

What little boys need: