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Resist and Defend

From the exterior, any middle-class American family looks typically normal.

Having all components of a nuclear family unit, father, mother, children, is a rare thing

these days thought. Unfortunately in the case of Evan, although he had these structures in

his life to guide him, namely his parents, they had damaging effect on him. Evan’s

parents were abusive to him. Whenever there seemed to be a problem, both parents were

always quick to point a finger directly at Evan accusing him of whatever may be wrong.

Evan’s parents, Mike and Karen, came down on him very hard too. They would sit down

with Evan and berate him for an hour at a time and physically hit him. Evan developed a

conduct disorder that was a direct effect of the type of attachment he had with his parents.

Furthermore, while Evan dealt with his parent’s abuse, he used coping strategies that

were both adaptive and maladaptive. Evan has a poor relationship with both of his

parents and uses coping strategies to combat the harms that are forced on him.

Parent’s are a huge contributor to the eventual personality that their child displays.

When parenting techniques are negative towards their children, Ainsworth explains that

“the individual is handicapped by the lack of what might be called a secure base from

which to work” (Weiten, 429). Ainsworth and Harlow were two very influential

psychologists who determined various patterns of attachments for infants. Their

attachment patterns included, secure, anxious-ambivalent, avoidant, and disorganized-

disoriented. While Ainsworth and Harlow related these patterns to infants, these

attachment schemas can still be discussed as they relate to Evan’s situation.

Evan was shown no love or care from his father at all. One of the most ridiculous

things that Evan’s father stood for was that men aren’t supposed to hug, and should only
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shake hands (The Trouble With Evan, 1994). This is because Evan’s father pushed him

away as an eight year old kid and refused to hug him. Aside from not showing any love to

Evan, Mike would often times yell at Evan and abuse him mentally. Mike loved

referencing the fact that Evan was breaking up the already shaky relationship that Mike

and Evan’s mother, Karen, had (The Trouble With Evan, 1994). Mike would also displace

some of his own frustration on to Evan which in no way strengthened their bond as

father-figure and son. Mike had a rough day and a check he earned landed up in the wash

(The Trouble With Evan, 1994). Mike accused Evan of putting the check in the wash and

yelled at him to no end. This is completely unfair and surely added to the stress and

trauma that Evan was already going through with the rest of his parent’s abuse.

Ultimately, if there is any attachment that is being harbored between these two, it would

fall under the Ainsworth and Harlow categories of avoidant and anxious-ambivalent.

These attachment styles stem from fear and anxiety and a feeling of defensiveness

(Weiten, 428). It is understandable that Evan wouldn’t feel very secure to an adult who

continually abused him.

The relationship between Evan and his mother Karen was filled with even more

confusion and abuse. Karen had been through a lot of psychological pain and had even

tried to commit suicide. Similar to Mike, Karen also seemed to displace this enormous

anxiety and stress that she accrued on to Evan. One of the worst incidents that occurred in

the documentary was when Karen accused Evan about stealing a dime from the penny jar

(The Trouble With Evan, 1994). Evan was scolded, berated, criticized, and abused over

stealing one dime that in actuality was never stolen, but Karen had been so paranoid

about Evan’s stealing that she counted the coins and had done so incorrectly. After a night
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of complete torment, Karen brought Evan downstairs and apologized to him for

miscounting the money and the successive abuse that he had to incur (The Trouble with

Evan, 1994). This must have been extremely confusing for Evan after he had just been

yelled at for a long time. Karen did hug Evan and showed him minimal comfort at best,

but this in no way alters the detrimental attachment that existed between this pair.

Ainsworth and Harlow would again classify this type of attachment as one based on fear,

anxiety, and defensiveness (Weiten, 428).

In trying to deal with his parent’s abusive nature, Evan used coping strategies that

were both adaptive to the situation and at times also maladaptive. Coping strategies take

the form of defense mechanisms which are “largely unconscious reactions that protect a

person from unpleasant emotions such as anxiety and guilt” (Weiten, 475). Two coping

strategies that Evan used that were adaptive are identification and reaction formation.

Identification is a result of “forming an imaginary or real alliance with some person or

group” (Weiten, 475). Evan was apparently involved in a football league during the

course of the documentary and this activity gave him the opportunity to use the coping

strategy of identification (The Trouble With Evan, 1994). On the field, Evan could

probably have dreamed that he was a famous football player and was rid of his abusive

parents. It also gave him an opportunity to exert some of his pent up anger that he must

have obviously had in a constructive way, rather than lashing out at his sister for instance.

The second adaptive coping strategy that Evan used is called reaction formation, which is

“behaving in ways that’s exactly the opposite of one’s true feelings” (Weiten, 475). One

day Evan set up the dinner table and cooked his family a meal which is a tremendously

nice thing to do considering the amount of abuse he was putting up with (The Trouble
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With Evan, 1994). Evan was acting kindly towards his parents while they were showing

utter contempt for him. He must have felt quite differently on the inside, but used this

coping strategy to try and minimize the amount of anxiety and stress that his parents were

causing him.

Unfortunately though, Evan also happened to use some maladaptive coping

strategies that did not bode well for him. Evan used the coping strategy of displacement,

which is when one aims their emotions at another (Weiten, 475). Evan used displacement

at school by sabotaging the teachers coffee by putting paint into it, fighting with the other

kids, and smoking cigarettes (The Trouble With Evan, 1994). These frustrations were

truly aimed at his parents, but Evan displaced his aggravation onto these things.

However, these events would just get Evan into more trouble with his parents, and they

would continue to yell at him. Another maladaptive coping strategy that Evan uses is

called denial of reality. This is when one protects “oneself from unpleasant reality by

refusing to perceive or face it” (Weiten, 523). Throughout the documentary, Evan always

sat quietly while his mother and father found fault within him. This ongoing abuse

deteriorated Evan’s state of mind. Evan was like the personal punching bag for his

parents, and after time, every punching bag incurs a great deal of wear and tear. Evan was

being torn apart, little by little, and although he said nothing in his defense and tried to

block out the pain, it is still there and more potent than ever.

Harlow and Ainsworth would contend that the attachment between Evan and his

parents was minimal and unpleasant eliciting the avoidant or ambivalent-anxious

attachment model. Evan was continually the target of abuse from his parents and he used

coping strategies to try and eliminate the immense anxiety and stress he was enduring.
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Works Cited

Docherty, Neil (producer/director), Canadian Broadcasting Corporation. (1994). The

Trouble with Evan [videocassette]. (Available from Filmakers Library and the

Canadian Broadcasting Corporation).

Schreier, Shelley, personal communication, November 7, 2006

Weiten, W. (2007). Psychology: Themes and Variations. Belmont: Thompson

Wadsworth.