ScreenwritingColumn06[SAVE|SEND]

Afilmyouseein
thetheatertells
younothing
aboutthe
original
screenplaythat
propelledthat
filminto
production.

CrapplusOne*
byTerryRossio&TedElliott
I.INSPIRATION
Ihaveascreenwritingfriendwho,whenheseesagreatmovie,
getsquitedepressed.There'ssuchagap,hefeels,betweenthe
workhedoesandwhat'supthereonscreen,howcouldhefeel
anythingbutinadequateandterrible?Thenhegoesandseesan
awfulfilm,andemergesfromthetheaterebullient."Ican'tbelieve
thatthinggotmade,"hesays,"butitgivesmehope."
It'sasentimentoftenechoedbyscreenwriterstryingtobreakin
whentheyselfassesstheirwork."It'snotthegreatest,"they'llsay,
"Butit'sbetterthanhalfthejunkIseeouttherethatsells."
Mywritingpartner,TedElliott,pointsoutthefallacyofthis
thinking."Tolookatthecrapthat'soutthere,andaimforjust
betterthanthat,isn'tmuchofagoal,"hesays."'Crapplusone'
isn'treallyworthaspiringto.Andit'snotmuchofacareer
strategy."Bettertobeinspiredbytheclassicsandaimforthat
level,hesays,evenifit'sneverreached.
Iagree,butforanother,morepracticalreason:afilmyouseein
thetheatertellsyounothingabouttheoriginalscreenplaythat
propelledthatfilmintoproduction.
Nothing.
People(includingcritics)whospeakaboutascreenplaybased
onthefilmintheatersaredemonstratingtheirignoranceofthe
business.YouthinkthescripttoWATERWORLDsucked?Maybe
itdid,maybenot.Idon'tknow,Ihaven'treadit.LASTACTION
HERO?Iheardtheoriginalscriptwasactuallyquitedecent,butI
couldn'ttellyouforsure.AgainIhaven'treadit.
Thisfliesinthefaceofcommonpractice,Iknow.Peopleseea
filmandsay,"Thecinematographywasnice,butthescript
sucked"andweknowwhattheymeanthestorydidn'twork,and
thestoryistheprovinceofthewriter,right?Criticswillwatcha
filmandcomment,"DirectorSmitheestrugglesvaliantlytryingto
elevatemediocrematerialintosomethingworthwatching."Even
filmprostalkaboutunsatisfyingendingsandmuddledActTwos
asifthefilmsweseearefaithfulvisualrealizationsofthewritten
screenplay.
Ifonlyitwereso.It'sbecomeoneofthemantrasofthe
Wordplaysite:youcan'ttellanythingaboutthescreenplayofa
filmuntilyou'veactuallyreadthescreenplay.
Thisholdsespeciallytrueforbadfilms.Farfetchedanalogy
time:Ifadinnerentreordesertisfabulous,itmakessenseto
assumetherecipewasgood.Butwhenanentrearrivesfromthe
kitchenburntintoasmokingcharcoallump,wouldyourfirst
thoughtbetoblametherecipe?Onlyifyou'reafilmcritic,it
seems.Whenthefoodisgreat,thecookisastar,butwhenthedish

isservedcoldandunderdone,thepoorchef'struggledvaliantly
tryingtoelevateamediocrerecipeintosomethingwortheating.'
It'snotjustdirectorswhomessupscreenplays.Studio
executives,stars,andproducerscanallplayapart.
Somefirsthandexamples...

ThankGodthe
studiopulledthe
plug,orthere
wouldhavebeen
anotherhorrible
filmoutthereto
misleadwriters
intothinking
theycoulddo
better.

II.THUMBSDOWN,WAYWAYDOWN
TedandIwroteanadaptationoftheclassicEdgarRice
Burroughsnovel"APrincessofMars."Youknow,JohnCarterof
Virginia,swordfightswithfourarmedMartianTharks,loveacross
thegulfbetweenplanets,thatsortofthing.Thestudiowasquite
pleasedwiththedraft,sentitouttodirectors,andlandedanAlist
guy:JohnMcTiernan.
McTiernanmetwithus...andbarelyspoke.Hespentthewhole
timewithhisheaddown,sketchingoutplanstoreassembleparcels
ofhisgrandparents'farmbackeast.Clearlyourmeetingwasa
formality,andhe'ddecidedto'goinanotherdirection,'astheysay.
Itwasn'tasurprisetofindoutlaterthatBobGalehadbeenhired
todohisrewrite.
TurnedoutMcTiernanwasn'tinterestedindoinganelegant
sciencefictionswashbuckleratallhewantedabloodandguts
actionfilm.Underhisdirection,JohnCarterbecameawashedup
alcoholic,andforhumor,theTharksmadejokesabout"John
CarterofVagina."
Yeech.
ThankGodthestudiopulledtheplug,ortherewouldhavebeen
anotherhorriblefilmouttheretomisleadwritersintothinking
theycoulddobetter.It'sscarytothinkduetoMcTiernan'sclout
howclosethestudiocametogreenlightingapictureeventhey
knewwasterrible.
Butthedirectorgotthestoryhewanted...andifthefilmhad
madeittotheaters,youknowthecriticswouldhavesympathized
withhisvalianteffortstoelevateallthatweakmaterial.And
aspiringwritersacrossthecountrywouldbeencouraged.
Anotherexample,thistimeafilmthatgotmade:
TedandIspenttwoyearsworkingonvariousdraftsofan
adaptationofRobertHeinlein'snovel"ThePuppetMasters."
ScreenwriterDavidGoyerthendidseveraldrafts,andthestudio
gavethepictureagreenlight.
BritishdirectorStewardOrmewassigned.Twoweeksbefore
principalphotographywastobegin,hesatdownwithhishand
pickedwriters,andsetaboutdecidingwhattofilm.Allthework,
allthestorymeetings,allthestudionotes,theoriginalnovel,all
thedraftsdonebyfourorfivedifferentwritersandwritingteams
withvariousexecutivesandproducersovertheprevioustwoyears
allofitwasthrownoutthewindow.Adraftwouldbewrittenin
twoweeks,andthatwouldbethemoviethathitthescreens.
Thisisn'tasrareanoccurrenceaswe'dallliketohope.Studio
folk,thosepeoplewhofightlikeRottweilersoverthesmallest
storyboneandbitofdialoguegristleduringthedevelopment
process,turnintolapdogswhenfacedwiththemomentumof
actualproductionandthecharismaticpowerofadirector.They
cowerdownandwhimperandthumptheirlittletailswhilethe
Alphadogfeasts.
OnTHEPUPPETMASTERS,Stewarthad14daystorework
theentirestoryfromsquareonecharacters,dialogue,setting,

everything.Theresultswerenotimpressive.Inthiscase,afterthe
reviseddraftwasdelivered,JeffreyKatzenbergforcedthe
productionteamtogobacktoanearlierdraft.Ofcoursethefilm
thateventuallyemergedfromthatprocesswasabysmal.(Fora
moredetailedversionofthisexperience,checkoutColumn#15,
BuildingtheBomb).
Anotherexample(gee,theygetmorepainfulasIgoalong):
In1989,filmcriticsRogerEbertandGeneSiskeldubbed
LITTLEMONSTERSoneofthetenworstfilmsoftheyear.It
starredHowieMandelandFredSavage."HowcouldFred
Savage'speoplelethimgetinvolvedinsuchamess?"Ebert
complained,"Didn'ttheyevenreadthescript?"
Shameonyou,Roger.Yes,theydidreadthescriptthe
originalscreenplayTedandIwrote,theonethatgotthestudio
interestedinmakingthemovieinthefirstplace.ThentheWriter's
Guildstrikehit,andtheproduceranddirectortooktheopportunity
(withascabwriter)torewritethefilmintoapieceofdreck
AFTERFredSavagehadcommittedtoit.Thestudiowasn'thappy,
butasusual,didn'twantto'tiethehands'ofthedirectorthey'd
hired.
Sothefilmcomesout,it'sterrible,andSiskelandEbertrailon
andonaboutthedreadfulscreenplay.Withouteverhaving
botheredtoreadthescreenplay,ofcourse.Tothisdaywehave
executivesfromthatcompanytellustheymournthefilmthat
couldhavebeenmadethefilmtheybought,greenlit,andnever
gottosee.
Okay,lastexample:
TedandIwroteadraftofGODZILLAwhichattractedthe
involvementofDirectorJanDeBont.(This,bytheway,isthebest
waywritershaveofgettingagoodreputationinHollywoodif
yourscreenplaycanattracttalenttoit,theyloveyou.Itmakes
sense...studiopeopledon'tknowhowtomakefilms.That'swhy
theyneeddirectorsandproducers,andstars.Ifyourscriptcan
drawthoseelements,asascreenwriter,you'vetrulydoneyour
job.)
So,thestudiolovesthescript,andtheydiveintopreproduction.
Butalas,budgetdifferencesandotherissuesforceDeBontandthe
studiotopartways.
EnterwriterproducerdirectorsRolandEmmerichandDean
Devlin.Theyareverypoliteandcomplimentaryabouttheexisting
screenplay,andverypolitelygodowntoMexicotowritetheir
owndraftoveratwoweekperiod.
Sothestudio,TriStarpictures,denouncesthistactic,supports
theoriginalscript,andbootsthemfromtheproduction
Oops,sorry.Meanttosaysothestudiofolkrolloverand
wrigglehappilywhileDeanandRolandrubtheircollective
tummy.Andthat'showtheworldwasgiventheabysmal
GODZILLAfilmof'98,wherethebiggreenlizardactuallyruns
andhideswhenshotat(ah,butthat'sanotherstory...andafuture
column).
WhatthenonHollywoodwriterneedstoknowisthis:theycan
havetheobviouslybetterversionsittingontheirdeskrightinfront
ofthem.Andtheycanhavepaidalotofmoneyforit.Andstill
theywon'tuseit.

Therearevery
fewwriterswho
aresonaturally
giftedthatthey
canknockitout
oftheparkon
theirfirstscript
(orsecond,or
third).

III.STANDARDS&PRACTICES
Sowhatdoesallthismeanotherthanyou'rereadingadvice
fromsomeonewho'smanagedtogethisnameonseveralterrible
movies?Justthis:ascreenwriterlookingatjustthefinished
productcangetaskewedideaofthequalityofwritingnecessary
togetattentioninHollywood.
Thestandardsappliedtothefirsttimewriterareactuallyquite
high.
Ironicallyandfrustratinglythestandardsmightevenbe
higherforafirsttimewriterthanforanestablishedpro.Ibelieve
it'shumannatureforqualitytobe'readinto'theworkofabig
namewriter,andforproblemstobe'readinto'theworkofa
beginner.Andabignamewritercansurviveoneortwomediocre
drafts,whereasafirsttimewriterwillnevergetanotherchance.
Thisseemsunfair,butinawayit'snot.Timetorolloutanother
analogy:youcouldwatchKenGriffeyJr.strikeoutadozentimes
inarow,andsay,"Hell,Icoulddothatbad."Buthe'snotgetting
paidforthosestrikeouts,he'sgettingpaidforthe40homerunshe
hittheyearbefore.
DeanandRolandgottheirGODZILLAdraftmadebecausethey
hadthenumberonefilmtwoyearsearlierwithINDEPENDENCE
DAY.
Sodespiteallappearancestothecontrary,therearestandardsin
Hollywood,andtheycouldevenbedescribedas'lofty.'Andif
you'regoingtowritetothosestandards,thefirstthingyouhaveto
doisbeabletorecognizethem.
Infact,thetwoabilitiesarerelated.It'sabitlikethatoldsaw
aboutwonderingifyou'recrazyifyou'rereallyworriedabout
beingnuts,chancesareyou'renot.Sogoahead,yes,worryabout
thequalityofyourscriptthat'sagoodthing,itcanonlyhelpthe
qualityofyourwork.
Quiteoftenevenprowriterscompletetheirscreenplayswith
sometrepidation,ananxious,"Whatdidyouthinkofit?"feeling,
eveniftheysuspectthey'venailedit.Thereareveryfewwriters
whoaresonaturallygiftedthattheycanknockitoutofthepark
ontheirfirstscript(orsecond,orthird).Andyet,therearemany
preproswhonotonlybelievetheycan,butbelievetheyhave."I
cameupwithit"islikegreatcinematographyitmakesthescene
moreattractive,thestorymorecompellingifonlytoan
audienceofone.
Thislackofobjectivityisabadthinginmanyways:
Itcauseswriterstoputtheirworkoutintotheworldtooquickly,
andgarnerconfidenceerodingrejections.
Itcreatesgarbagedumppilesofscreenplaysthatclogtheentire
system.
Itmakesgettingascriptreadtentimeshardersomanyscripts
arebad,nobodywantstoreadanything.
Itmeansevengoodscriptswillbepoorlyreadtheexpectation
ofproblems,basedonyearsofreadingdreck,causespeopleto
lookforproblemsandfindthem.
Anditcanleadtoanobstinate,hoovesdugin"it'snotme,it's
Hollywood"mindsetamongnewwriters.Thethinkinggoes
"SinceHollywoodrejectsmeagreatwriterit'sclearthat
Hollywoodhassomeotherrequisitesforbecomingascreenwriter
thangreatwriting."(Oddthing:thisattitudecanmanifesteven
beforethetheoreticalpreprohashadanycontactwithHollywood
atall.)
Thesolution?

Objectivity.
Objectivityisyourfriend.
Allwritersshouldtrythistesttakeacopyofagreatscript
(Say,BODYHEATorTHESIXTHSENSE)andlayitdownside
bysidewithyourownscript.Readpageoneofthegreatscript.
Readyourpageone.Dothesameforpagetwo.Countthegreat
descriptivelines,thecompellinglinesofdialogue,theinteresting
characterbits,thecompellingsituations.Actuallycountthem,and
compare.Ifthey'renotcomparable,figureoutwhy.
Youneedtobeabletoseethedifference.
Youneedtobeabletojudgeyourworkagainstothergreat
work.
Objectivityisoneofthesinglemostimportantqualitiesthatan
aspiringscreenwritermustacquireandwethinkit'stheattitude
thatmarkstherealdifferencebetweenthewriterwhohasachance
tobecomeaprofessional,andonewhohasnochance.
Becausewritingisultimatelyaboutcommunication.And
communicationisalearnedskill.Andanyskill,whenassessed
objectively,canbeimproved.
Intheheatofcreation,thewriteristhewritinguntilyoutype
TheEndonthatfirstdraft.Fromthatpointforward,thescriptisan
attempttocommunicatetootherswhoyouare.Andthat'showit's
judgedbyothersandshouldbejudgedbyyourself.Yougofrom
author,toaudience.Not:thisis'whoIam.'Rather:thisisaneffort
onthepartofawritertocommunicate'whoIam.'
Ifothersjudgethewritingas'poor,'theyarenotjudgingyouas
'poor'theyarejudgingthisonespecificattempttocommunicate
as'poor.'Butthegoodnewsis:sincecommunicationisalearned
intellectualconstructyoucanlearntodoitbetter.
Ifsomeonesaysyourcharactersareweak,youcanlearnto
makeyourcharactersstronger.
Ifsomeonesayyourdialogueiswooden,youcanlearntomake
yourdialoguemorenatural.
Ifsomeonesaysyourstorydoesnotmovethem,youcanlearn
tomakeyourstoriesmorecompelling.
Ifsomeonesays"Yourscriptisnotsuitabletoourpresent
needs,"youcanlearntomakeyournextscriptexactlywhatthey
needbutdidn'tknowtheyneeded.
Butifyouassume'notsuitable'meanstheyonlywantfamily
members'scripts,ortheyonlywantbadscripts,ortheydon'thave
theaestheticabilitytorecognizeagoodscript,orHollywoodis
plottingagainstyouthenthere'slittlechancethatyou'lllearn
anything.

Whenyouthink
aboutit,that's
thewholereason
whyparticular
writersgethired,
andrehired:

IV.TARGETPRACTICE
Badwritersarebadbecausetheystoptoosoon.
Infact,let'stakeastepback.Theonlyquality,Ithink,that
marksthewriterasdifferentfromeveryoneelseissimplyan
unwillingnesstoquit.Othersgiveupwhentheylearnwritingis
hardthewriterstruggleson.
WhenIsitdowninfrontoftheblankpage,it'snoeasierforme
tofillitthananyoneelse.Thenonwriterlooksattheblankpage
andquitesensiblysays,'forgetit,I'mouttahere.'Butifthey
hadto,theycouldputafewwordsdowntherejustlikeIdo.
Onlythewordswouldn'tbeanygood.Sothenonwritergets
frustrated,givesupandleaves.Me,too,Igetfrustrated...butIsit

they'reselling
theirtargets.

there,andworktomakeitbetter.
Anybodywho'swillingtostruggle,Ithink,canwrite.
Butcantheywritewell?
Thebadwriterfinishesafirstdraft,dubsitgold,andsendsit
out.There'stheproblem,righttheretheystopwritingtoosoon.
Theyaren'twillingtodotherealwork,thehardwork,oftelling
thestory.Theworkthatthestorydemands.Theydashofftheparts
thatareeasy,anddevelopanoddkindofblindnesstowardtherest.
ConsiderthisquotefromM.NightShyamalan,regardingTHE
SIXTHSENSE:
"Itwasn'tuntilaboutthefifthdraftthatIreallybegan
tofigureitout.ItwasthenthatIrealizedhe'sdead.It
tookmefivemoredraftstoexecuteitright."
Youhavetodothework,notavoidit.
Youhavetofindthepromiseofthestory,andfulfillit.
Abadwriterissatisfiedatcomingclose,atjustfinishingthe
firststab.Atexecutingthevisionthatwasintheirhead.They
knowthesceneissupposedtobefunny,orscary,orexciting...so
they'llsketchoutafaintimageofthescene,thatpointstowhatit
shouldbe,andfigurethat'senough.
It'snotenough.
That'slikesayingyou'realongdistancerunner...butyounever
leavethecouch,remotecontrolinhand,bagofpotatochipson
yourbelly.
Therealworkistostickatituntilyoufindthegold.Togetto
thatfunnyline.Todothehardworknooneelsewantstodo,but
everyonewantstohavedone.Todiscoverthegreatcharacterbit,
thecleverstoryturn.Untilyouhaveit,youdon'thaveit.Untilit's
there,it'snotthereandyouneedtostickatituntilitisthere.
That'swhataiminghigherthancrapplusoneisallabout.
That'syourtarget.
AnotherquotefromShyamalan:
"Ididn'twant[critic]StevenHoldenofthe"NewYork
Times"toholdmydestiny,andhedoeswithalotof
smallfilms.SoIdecidedIwasgoingtowritethe
greatestscript,andeverythingwasgoingtochange.
It'sgoingtobemine,andthey'llhavetoletmedirect
itbecausetheywon'tgetitanyotherway."
Whenyouthinkaboutit,that'sthewholereasonwhyparticular
writersgethired,andrehired:they'resellingtheirtargets.The
specscriptislikethehighwatermarkofthetidecomingin:
evidencethatyou'vebeenthere,andcangetbackthereagain.Or
atleast,that'swhatyou'llaimfor.Yousellyourhighstandards,
andthenhopetohellyoucanliveuptothem.
WilliamGoldmanpointsoutinhisbook"WhichLieDidI
Tell?"thateverygreatfilmrunsneckandneckwiththebad
versionofitself...andoftenabadfilmrunsneckandneckwithits
goodcounterpart.
Sometimesthegreatversionofthefilmpullsawayandwinsby
20lengths.
Sometimesthebadversonofthefilmwinsbyanose.
Thenexttimeyouhavetositthroughafilmwherethebad

versioncameoutahead,considerthat,quitelikely,there'sascript
sittingsomewherethat'spossiblyquitebrilliant,andinspiredthe
wholerace.
Yes,true,filmsgetmadeformanyreasons,andnotalways
becauseofagreatscript.AsTedsayseachfilmproducedisa
uniqueevent,theforcesinvolveddistinctfromeveryotherfilm
evermade.
Sure,sometimesabadscriptdoesgetpluckedoutofthepile,
justtofillareleasedate.
Youcan'tcountonthat.
Sometimesastarneedstobeinamovieanymovie,tofulfilla
contractualobligation.Andsoabadscriptgetsgreenlit.
Youcan'tcountonthat.
Sometimesascreenplaywithagreatpremisegetsputinto
production,inthehopesthatthedirectororstarwriterorstarcan
pullitoutduringtheprocess.
Youcan'tcountonthat,either.
Theonlythingyoucancountonisthequalityofyourwork.
Thesurestbetistobethebestbecauseovertime,talentwillout.
It'scommonlybelievedandcommonlytrue.Greatscreenplayswill
getattention.Itmaytakeawhile,buttheywill.
Notcrapplusone,butbrilliance,absoluteperfection,that'syour
goal...andifyoushouldfallonetickshortofthat,you'llstillbein
prettygoodshape.
Youhavetobeinspiredbythebest,inordertodoyourbest.
Nothinglesswilldo.
*Originally"Inspiration"1997

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