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Anomalous Pringles

The on-site Mobile Task Force agents piled into the Class-D cells due to a
massive riot taking place, with over 8 Class-D involved. In itself, the whole event
was like a miniature raid, only the enemies had batons, and no long-ranged
weapons. Despite the large amount of rioting Class-D personnel, the Mobile Task
Force quickly dealt with the threat, with most of them heading to the cafeteria for
coffee. The three that remained, Batguy259, LordMMT, and Robotrongod struck up a
conversation.
You know, I havent seen 1Shaakro for a while. Robotrongod scratched his
head in curiosity. Yeah, he hasnt shown up to any of the Task Force trainings at all.
He also stopped responding to application forms. Batguy259 folded his arms.
LordMMT leaned on the wall, falling through it and spontaneously losing his arms,
not necessarily in that order. Fuck. LordMMT sighed. They really need to patch
that. Chriswar122 walked into the room with Tercopete, who had seemed to be
arguing with Chriswar122 prior to running into the Task Force. You know, I havent
seen 1Shaakro for a while. Tercopete dusted off his uniform and straightened his
tie. The three MTF exchanged glances, and shrugged.
Three days had passed, and 1Shaakro had still not shown up for any
trainings. He hadnt been on Site for a few weeks, and rumors arose that he had
deserted the Foundation. He wouldnt just get up and leave after becoming a Level4. Batguy259 suggested. There was a High Ranking meeting in Conference Room 2
on the possible whereabouts of 1Shaakro, and his absence from Foundation
activities. After that many test reports, highly unlikely. Chriswar122 agreed. Wow,
are you guys actually agreeing on something? The door to the conference room
slid open as Nisorios walked in. Why are you late? Chriswar122 asked suspiciously.
I was making a Hitler Reacts to Nisorioss Promotion video. Nisorios waited for
Chriswar122 to respond, but was met only with silence. Anyway, anyone seen
Shaak? Nisorios took a seat next to Chriswar122 and Batguy259.
I eat one God damned pringle, and this [DATA EXPUNGED] happens.
1Shaakro grumbled as he traversed the pocket dimension he had been teleported to
by an anomalous pringle. Im sure theyll find me soon enough I think
1Shaakro shivered as the air got colder the further he delved into the pringle
dimension.
Okay, so let me get this straight, you ask for approval of a 682 test, shoot
the Head of the Ethics Committee when youre told no, and then you ask for a
promotion to senior researcher? Chriswar122 was speaking privately to a
recently promoted researcher who had gotten 3 minor offenses in a single day.
Yes. The researcher said, smiling. Denied. Chriswar122 said as he demoted the
researcher to Level-0 for attempting assault on the Head of the Ethics Committee
and performing unethical tests. Oh boy, wonder how Shaakro would have judged

this one. He thought to himself. Little did he know that 1Shaakro had no thoughts
of judgment, for he was running for his life from an enormous replica of SCP-682
made entirely of pringles.

Batguy259 began training the MTF units at the Combat Training Facility with
several notable failures, such as Brillcake inexplicably losing his legs during a sword
fight and Batguy259 accidentally nuking the area during a game of sharks and
minnows. At last, the MTF units came to the parkour course, instantly reminded
Batguy259 of Shaakro. 1Shaakro hated these jumps. Robotrongod sighed.
Batguy259 put PTS in effect and continued the training, wondering of 1Shaakros
whereabouts.
1Shaakro was pinned to the ground by a ferocious, man-eating pringle in the
pringle dimension. Who would have thought that it would end like this? 1Shaakro
raised an eyebrow. Suddenly, Nisorios appeared in the dimension on top of the
pringle while incidentally eating a pringle himself. Shaak? there was a pause.
Nisorios? How did you get here? 1Shaakro kicked the pringle, shattering it into
crumbs, taking a bite of it posthaste. Well, I went to the vending machine to see if
you were there, and I saw a pringle container on the floor. So I ate a pringle.
Nisorios explained. If we ever get back, were classifying that canister as Keter
1Shaakro and Nisorios walked off into the depths of the pringle dimension, prepared
for what may lie ahead.
It was the afternoon, lunch time for the Class-D. As usual, the Security
Department had no members on site and the MTF had to take their place. As a
Class-D neared SCP-294, LordMMT shot his knee, making him crumple to the
ground. SCP-294 is for personnel of Level-2 clearance or higher, how many times
do we have to tell you!? Batguy259 shouted towards the Class-D, who were
goofing off all over the place, throwing trays of food and drinks of all varieties at
each other. The Janitor isnt gonna be happy about this. Robotrongod remarked.
Suddenly, a Class-D wandered away from the rest of the bunch when he noticed a
pringle container lying on the ground haphazardly. He picked up the canister, only to
be greeted by MTF pointing their guns at him. You, stop! one of them shouted.
The Class-D took a bite out of a pringle anyway, and disappeared from sight. What
the hell? Batguy259 picked up the canister and examined it.
1Shaakro and Nisorios were now walking indefinitely along a pringle path.
There has to be an exit to this place 1Shaakro sat on a pringle rock and got into
his thinking pose. Weve been stranded out here for 3 days. Nisorios grumbled.
Youve only been here for 20 minutes. 1Shaakro raised an eyebrow. It feels like 3
days. Nisorios shrugged. In any case, if we dont get out of here, I have no doubts
that well be toast. There was a silence. No, well be pringles. Nisorios chuckled.

Huh, huh? Nisorios waited for 1Shaakro to get the pun. And I thought my puns
were bad. 1Shaakro looked upwards. Were never going to get out of here.
Suddenly, a Class-D appeared from thin air and landed on 1Shaakro, breaking the
pringle rock. What the? The Class-D rubbed his head. Welcome to the pringle
club, youre stuck here forever. 1Shaakro said sarcastically.
Batguy259 handed the canister of pringles over to Chriswar122 for testing. It
looks like an ordinary canister of pringles. Chriswar122 deduced. No shit
Sherlock. Batguy259 replied, gaining a scornful look from Chriswar122. But it
looks like anyone who bites into a pringle from this canister is caught up in a timespace anomaly. Batguy259 nodded. Go on, go on he motioned for Chriswar122
to continue. So if weve already lost Nisorios, 1Shaakro, and a Class-D Chris was
interjected by Robotrongod, No one cares about the disposables, 1Shaakro and
Nisorios need to be rescued, and I know just how were going to do it. LordMMT
walked up to Chriswar122 and Batguy259, raising his thumb in an Ok gesture,
before his arms subsequently fell off. LordMMT looked down at his empty arm
sockets SON OF A ~
1Shaakro kept his gun pointed at the Class-D, ready for anything he might try
to pull. Nisorios did the same with his sniper. A few hours had passed, and suddenly,
more people appeared. Batguy259, Chriswar122, LordMMT, Robotrongod, and
several other MTF units fell from the black void above. You forced a pringle into my
mouth! Chriswar122 shouted at Batguy259. And your point is? Batguy259 tilted
his head. That was unethical! Batguy259 and Chriswar122 began to bicker while
the Mobile Task Force disposed of the Class-D quickly. Class-D terminated. An MTF
unit said on his radio. You know nobody back at the site can hear us, right?
another unit cut him off. I know, this radio just sounds cool. The first MTF replied,
causing the second MTF to sigh. After Chriswar122 and Batguy259 had been
arguing for over 2 hours, an enormous pringle rose from the void below the pringle
path. Can you keep it down?! Im trying to sleep here! it bellowed.
Whoa, thats one big pringle! 1Shaakro shouted. Who are you supposed to
be? Asked LordMMT. Chriswar122 pushed LordMMT out of the way into the abyss.
Im ScD and DEA, its my job to deal with tests and diplomacy. Chris cleared his
throat and begin. Where do you come ~ Chris began to interrogate the giant
pringle, but was flung off into the abyss by salty air. Look, the exits down there,
just jump into the black void of nothingness to get back home. And if I see any of
you retards back here, Ill be more than salty! The giant pringle bellowed. Oh, I
see what you did there Batguy259 chuckled. The giant pringle floated in silence,
before forcing all of the personnel into the black abyss with salty pringle air. Thank
God those freaks are gone The giant pringle sighed in relief. Suddenly, SCP-343
appeared with a smile on his face, You called? Through all of his hardships, the
giant pringle sighed.

So, you were trapped inside a pringle dimension for weeks, and thats why
you skipped out on training and application review? The Adminstrator asked
1Shaakro, while they both enjoyed a cup of tea. Yes sir, thats what happened.
Irock2336 stared at 1Shaakro suspiciously before shrugging, Seems legit. He
waved 1Shaakro off and got back to his Administrator duties. 1Shaakro sighed in
relief and said aloud Its great to be home. Chriswar122 walked towards 1Shaakro
and stopped. 1Shaakro, youre going to have to get your tags changed when you
get back to our private communications server. 1Shaakro shrugged. Thats
alright. Chriswar122 lowered his head with a devious smile and said, Also, youre
not getting your TTS privileges back just because you discovered a new SCP. Before
walking off. 1Shaakro inhaled deeply. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuu~!

By 1Shaakro, Credits to Chriswar122, Batguy259, Tercopete, LordMMT,


Robotrongod, irock2336, The MTF, and all the other departments.
Thanks amigos!