What Im Taking Away With Me: A Personal Reflection

On August 30, 2016 a brave eleven year old boy named Zach reached the end of the road in a
difficult walk with lymphoma by being declared cancer-free. On August 31, 2016 a fearful 44 year old
man embarked on a mysterious new educational journey by enrolling in an e-learning course. That man
is me and that boy is my son. Watching Zach power thorough to his finishing line is what inspired me to
even step up to my starting line.
I began the University of Wisconsin Stouts E-Learning of Educators graduate course with a
trepidation of technology, that had been years in the making. It was time to confront the fear head-on.
My experiences in this course can be thought of as a tapestry with six panels: highlights, surprises,
changes, self-discoveries, applications, and take-aways.
Highlights
As a technological tenderfoot virtually every aspect of this course was an eye-opener and every
new learning segued into the next, creating an array of highlights. I felt like a stranger in a world I knew
many other educators were deeply immersed in, but that I had hardly visited myself. Learning how to
navigate various learning management systems, produce closed captions for a video, facilitate a
discussion board conversation, construct an online assessment tool, curate a digital magazine, create an
e-portfolio all of these were skills I never thought I would have the aptitude to acquire, but now I can
claim these skills as my own.
Surprises
There were more than a few surprises that I stumbled upon during this course, but one most
definitely stands out. Namely, that I was able to do it. I was able to break into a realm that originally I
was not even comfortable approaching.
Changes
My thoughts have changed about e-learning as a result of this course. When I completed my
Ph.D. several years ago, I took the traditional route. I knew of other colleagues who were in the midst of
completing their doctorates online, or in blended formats. I admit, at the time, that I did not regard an
online doctorate as having the same repute or standing as one traditionally earned. To my mind it was
obvious that e-degrees were second best, at best. I am no longer of that mind. The expectations were
just as demanding, the workload just as hard, and the readings just as challenging, as I burned just as
much midnight oil to succeed in this class as I did in any of my doctoral classes. In e-learning, the rigor is
real. This I now know.
Self-Discoveries
After 12 years of grade school, I went on to university to earn two bachelors degrees, a
masters degree, and a doctoral degree. All told, I have about 23 years of formal education, so I have a
pretty good sense of myself as a learner in formal settings. In that time, Ive always been what others
would call a strong student. Academics has seen an environment in which I have thrived, earning good
grades and a sense of efficacy. Rarely have I experienced difficulty in school. This course changed that. It
took 23 years, but Ive now experienced the frustration of what it feels like to not get something after
the first or second time. I now know what it feels like to be one of the slower learners in class, not

being able to hand in assignments as early as others, or jump into class conversation as quickly as the
next student, because it takes me a longer time to figure things out. Ive had to let go of some of my
perfectionist tendencies as well. This struggle has been a blessing, because it has opened a window of
self-discovery into a new way of seeing myself as a learner: the struggling student.
Applications
It is not difficult for me to envisage real-world practical applications for what I have learned.
Once retirement approaches, I can see myself wanting to step away from full-time administrative work,
and return to what originally drew me into a career in education a love for teaching. I think sessional
online post-secondary teaching would be a perfect post-retirement gig for me to transition into.
Teaching in cyberspace means I do not have to be tethered to a geographical place or physical campus; I
could just as easily be on a balmy beach in Belize. This is good because I love to travel.
Take-aways
I started my career in a Jesuit boys school where our mission was to create young men of
competence, compassion, and character. I find it curious that it is these same three elements that I feel I
am taking away with me at the conclusion of this course. I am taking away a newfound sense of
competence. Using digital teaching and learning tools is no longer something only other people have the
ability to do. I can use those same tools. I am taking away a rekindled sense of compassion. My struggles
in this introductory experience to online learning more than once caused me angst and anxiety. I will
now empathize better with the students who struggle in my classes. I am taking away an improvement
in my character. Having taken on something that was way outside my comfort zone, but survived, only
served to strengthen my spirit of resolve and resilience. Not even remotely significant by comparison of
the size and scope of the battle, but I too, like Zach, made it to my finish line!