Ill ask you first about your health issue, if you wouldnt mind just....

I had a brain haemorrhage and therefore a brain injury. Thats it. It happened to be
honest, its almost impossible to believe but I was in the shower and everything went
black. And I screamed my head off and my little girl came to the bathroom and she
said Mummy whats the problem? I said Go and tell Daddy I cannot see anything
anymore and then I thought, silly woman, my little girl was about two and a half and I
thought shes going to run down the stairs, my husband couldnt hear me because
he was preparing the breakfast and all that. And er...obviously what happened I
found out subsequently is that the haemorrhage, the blood was running between the
function of the eyes you know and thats why I suddenly became - felt like I was
becoming blind and thats why I screamed and called my daughter. Well my
daughter came, I didnt call her. I called my husband but he couldnt hear me, he was
preparing breakfast, bless him. Well thats what happened and then after that he, as
soon as he came to see what was going on, because he did eventually understand
the situation, he started calling the ambulance and nobody would come because
they were all taken up. Addenbrookes is such a busy place so he drove me to the
hospital as well he could as he could - and we arrived there and as, I kept phoning
- he had his mobile with him - he kept phoning the hospital even though the
ambulance couldnt make it, he said hed let them know what was going on, he was
going on, and the fact that he was taking me, that he was bringing me there to them.
And when I got there the surgeon came out of the operating room and he said, its
ready for you madam. I thought ah are you sure, I didnt want to go I panicked then!
And anyway thats it, basically it was an aneurism to give you the medical term. And
it had burst and the blood was running and thats why I thought I was becoming blind
and screamed in the shower, the blood was running in front of a function of my eyes,
1

not my eyes but the function you know where the vision is placed in the brain. And
thats it and so they operated on the aneurism and thats it, thus far. And thank
goodness I got away so well: I have got my left side is a bit impaired but compared to
what could have been, I could have been paralysed and I really am grateful to the
doctors that looked after me there, did a brilliant job. Thats it, thats my story.
Thank you. So I am going to go back to the beginning now.
When I came to Headway?
No earlier than that.
Earlier than that?
When you were born and where you were born.
When I was born!?
We dont need to know any days, just where you were born.
I was born in Italy in the middle of the mountains, a tiny village in Calabria, sorry, the
deep south in the middle of mountains, a little tiny village about 800 inhabitants and I
was born inside my home apparently, because at the time there was no maternities
round there.
So your mum gave birth?
My mum gave birth with a midwife who came to her house.
So your parents, tell me a bit about them.
They are Italian.
Theyre Italian, can you tell me anymore?
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My mum is a brilliant cook, I am nowhere near as good as her. I am trying to emulate

her and my dad. When I - i was born in Italy, my dad was in France because he had
this, well, when I was born he was in France but obviously he had something to do
with it before I was born! I am a bit daft dont worry about it! Dont transcribe
everything I say! [laughing]
So what about....
Anyway then my father when he, I was born he decided he wanted to give me a
future and we lived in the middle of a sticks in South of Italy in Calabria, you know,
there was nothing else to do but emigrate and my dad had emigrated a bit before us
you know in order to organise our life. And then when I was born he decided I want
to give my daughter a future. Thats what he tells me anyway. And so he took the
whole family up to France and thats where I lived all my life. And thats my
nationality also because eventually my dad decided that we should take the
nationality of the country that had welcomed us and given us a life. I agree with him.
It was a good thing to do.
Did you have any siblings?
Yes I had two brothers and one - I have two brothers and one sister. My youngest
sister was born years after me, em, but shes deaf and dumb. Thank goodness she,
we dont know the reason why that happened. My mum is convinced she had otitis
when she was very young baby and the doctors didnt notice it. She blames the
doctors, anyway thats my mum. She will always blame the doctors! I think she, to
her parting days she will blame the doctors.
And your brothers?

My brothers are both fine. They are professionals, they work, my brother has got a
business as a plumber, thats the best business you can be in! I wish I was a man I
had been a plumber! Cause you get a lot of money. Anyway... I am diverging.
No its interesting. So when you lived in France, you went to school in France... can
you tell me about the school.
Yes I did the whole my schooling in France. I was very good. I think the French have
got education very well sussed out. I am not trying to be patriotic but I believe that.
And er I did all of my schooling and I went to University... all in France, and then as I
was at University I was given the opportunity to apply for a job as a French assistant
and I ended up in Leeds at the University of Leeds as a French Assistant and thats
where I met my husband.
In Leeds.
I never looked back.
Whereabouts in France did you move to?
We moved to Nancy, Nancy in the North East, do you know Nancy? Its kind of if you
go from Paris to Strasbourg, its two thirds of the way from Paris and one third from
Strasbourg thats kind of in the middle of La Lorraine, the region is called Lorraine.
Why did you move to France?
I was very young, maybe 4 or 5 because I started all my schooling even the first
years you know, nursery school I was already in France.
Was your sister born in France?

Everybody else was born... no except my brother numberjust after me was born in
Italy too but everybody else was born in France, I have two brothers and one sister
and my brother number two was born in France and my sister was number four child
was born in France too.
So you are the oldest then?
I am the oldest. My brother number one also was born in Italy in the South of Italy.
Do you know what took your Dad to France?
Yes, work.
What did he do?
Hes a... he works in building, hes a mason, what would you call it? A builder.
Builder full stop what more can I say. Yes he is a builder and he found work on a
building site. What he did is I am not staying in this country because the south of
Italy was very poor at the time and he decided that he needed to get a proper job
and so he went to France and then he organised his life and he came back to the
little village in the South of Italy and took his wife and his two kids, because my
brother number one was born in Italy too. And before, before he did that he found a
house because he wanted his family to be comfortable and then he moved us all.
Thats his story. Hes a brilliant man my dad. Thank you, thanks to him I got a decent
education in France. And then but thats in the future we dont want to know about
the future. You wanted to know about the beginnings didnt you.
But then carry on.....

With your little sister having a disability, how was that when you were younger
and she was young, how did you find that what are your memories?
That was really tough because my mother didnt know who to blamebut you know
so she spent her life crying... but then we, we got help from the social workers and
we found her a school for deaf and thats where she spent all her life basically after
that, but it was good for her because she learnt sign language and er she also learnt
to say things by mouthing them and making some strange sounds because she cant
speak, you know, I dont know if youve ever experienced people who cant speak
they tend to just shout. But anyway she is now married to also a deaf man, but they
have a family and they are doing fine and I am very pleased for her.
Do they still live in France?
Yes, everybody still lives in France I am the only one mad enough to have moved to
England!
So you then, what did you study in France?
Sociology. And I remember doing interviews with people as well!
Did you enjoy them?
Oh yes very much I loved, I loved the subject sociology. I did social psychology as
well which was very interesting.
When you finished you moved to Leeds you said?
When I finished my degree, I went to, no I didnt move to Leeds as a decision, I
applied for a job as a French assistant and thats where I got my job it was at the
university of Leeds and thats where my husband was studying.
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He was studying there when you met him?

Yes and I saw him across the room and thought woo, you look like a lovely young
man! [laughing] I spotted him but he spotted me too.
What was he studying?
He was doing, funnily enough, German and French, but French as a secondary
subject so I wasnt involved in the classroom with him cause I wouldnt as a teacher
marry my student would I! Ive got principles! [Laughing]
So you met him?
At the university, I met him in the lounge you know they had an interesting little cafe
in there and there was a big lounge where you could buy your cup of tea and that
was it, thats where he was sitting there and then we made plans to go and have,
spend half term together and we went to Wales. We hitchhiked to Wales.
Did you like Wales?
I loved it, it was lovely.
Just you and him went to Wales?
Yeah and we slept in a barn on bales of straw I tell you its not the most
comfortablesleeping arrangement but its ok?
So after that have you been with him ever since?
Well... basically yes, I took a few years, first he came to France to see where I was
from and thats it and then after -I remember one thing Ill tell you as just an anecdote
butmy dad was going upstairs to the bathroom as I was coming down from my

bedroom, he stopped me on the stairs and said So who is this young man then? I
want to know whats going on here? I said Nothing hes just a friend, just a friend!
So funny but you know my dad from the old school he was a, he was born and bred
in Italy and thats not the sort of thing you do when youre Italian usually but now I
am sure they do worse! But at the time my dad is 70 odd years old so you can
imagine that he had a very old fashioned way of looking at things.
So with your husband, who met in Leeds, so you stayed with him sort of ever since.
Can you tell me about the wedding?
Oh that was funny.
Or the engagement just all of it...
Well I just told you about So who is this young man then? I said We will get
married. But I didnt know then but I pretended! That I knew. I didnt want my dad to
get too upset. Thats it.
So what about the wedding?
We sorted out the wedding, it was in, we got married in a little church in my town, my
little town, its not a town, I didnt live in a town, we lived in a small town, I suppose it
was a town in a way.
So you got married in a church there.
Yeah.
Did his family come?
Yes his mum and his sister and his brother came but his Dad was not very well so he
didnt manage.
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So when did you get married, how long had you been together?
I got married in 1981, we have been together a long time because I met him in the
70s because thats when I was a French - I was still at university and I went to do a
year as a French assistant.
And you met him there.
Thats when I met him there and we got married in 1981, so several years later.
So did you have children after you were married?
Oh yes we are good like that! Yes, 4.
Four children? Can you tell me about them?
Well I have got a 29 year old daughter, 27 year old daughter and an 11 - oh shell kill
me if I say - shes 15. I always think of her as 11 years old I dont know why! Poor
girl. She really would strangle me if she heard this interview.
So 15 year old daughter.
Yeah shes 15 and she goes to Bottisham Village College.
And any others, did you say you had 4?
I had, I have 4 kids, one is she is 29, number 2 is 26, and my son I cant remember
how old he is, he must be 21 something like that.
And so do any of them still live at home?
And my young daughter is 11, oh no, sorry apologies, shes 15.
Shes 15, so does she live at home?

I think of her as my baby you know! We are terrible mothers arent we?
Does she live at home with you then?
Yes of course, yes.
What about your son?
No, my son is at University of Leeds now. Would you believe, following in his fathers
footsteps! He is studying, I cant remember what.
Thats ok.
German and philology - dont ask me what it is I have been trying ever since he told
me what he was studying philology to find out what that was but I have no idea and
you cant even find out in a dictionary its not there.
So with your children, you said when you first sort of started suffering from you
aneurism, one of your daughters was two and half?
Yes, she is the one thats 14 now.
Ok so with your children how did they sort of cope when you first became ill?
Well I have a wonderful husband; he has been father and mother to them. And still is
in a way. So I think thats what has helped everybody. Me included. What more can I
say.
How did, obviously when you had your, em aneurism it really drastically
changed your life, can you tell us about the period immediately after that
happened and what, how you coped with it really and what changes
happened?

10

Well first of all I was in hospital for weeks, to the point that my father, who had never
left France in his life, and especially England for him you know was the back of
beyond! He actually came to England, I tell you that because I know it was quite an
effort. Because he thought right I am going to lose a daughter I must see her thats
what he thought, poor man. But anyway I survived. And everything went well.
Although I am still fairly impaired, the left side, so I go to the gym a lot because I am
trying to fortify the muscle of my left side. That was the side that was impaired for
quite a while.
Was that immediately after?
Yes after my brain injury.
So did it mainly affect your left side?
My left side yes. And my memory so I dont remember anything thats why I wrote a
diary. For ages I wrote a diary and then I became lazy, as one does.
You seem to have good recall of your early life and stuff like that, so is the
memory is it to do with your short term memory or....?
Its more my short term memory yes. I remember things like happened when I was 3
years old even better than what happened yesterday. I think it is the short term
memory.
How has that affected you in your life?
It is incredibly annoying but how does it affect me? Its like going upstairs 25 times
within 2 minutes because you forget what you were about to do and what you
needed to bring down and all that sort of thing. I dont wish it to anyone because its

11

really infuriating. Its the sort of thing that, ok its neither here nor there, if you think
about it carefully you think well so what. I forgot to bring well I will just go back
upstairs so what, whats the problem, so you keep going up and down like a yoyo,
but thats alright I can cope with that.
When you were first in hospital, sort of after it happened, you said earlier the doctors
treated you really well. You had a good experience in the hospital?
Definitely I did, yes.
And how about after did you sort of, did you receive any sort of help afterwards as
well when you came out?
Yes I had the regular appointments, they checked me very regularly, no, I think the
care at Addenbrookes was extraordinary, it was very good.
So how about Headway, how did you end up?
Headway, ah Headway is my lifeline! Its been my lifeline seriously sort of, ok the life,
in terms of saving my life I have to thank Addenbrookes, they have been absolutely
wonderful and spot on. The surgeon that did my, the job on me must have been such
a clever man but after that, Headway is what has given me the opportunity to
become normal again if normal has a definition, there isnt a definition but what I
mean is, its has given me the opportunity to start living again, a life which I thought
was finished for me because I was very brainy and anything happening to my brain
was the end of me.
And Headway brought that back?

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In my feelings you know butyeah slowly Headway has given me the opportunity to
see that not everything in my brain has gone or dead. We do a lot of activities that
are extremely helpful and I am sure if somebody came to me to ask me for advice
after a brain injury I would say Guys, life is not over, just go to Headway youll see,
you will regain your normality slowly. I really am grateful to Headway. Sorry.
How long have you been coming to Headway?
Practically ever since I came out of hospital. I cant remember now to be honest, its
probably in my folder somewhere! You will probably find out before I do.
What sort of stuff do you do here?
We do an enormous amount of interesting things. We do art as well and its aspired
me to do art because I enjoyed it so much by doing it here and realise how much I
benefitted from it. I actually taken up art privately with an art teacher and I have
done, I even had an exhibition of my work. So my art is doing alright and thats to,
the starting point was definitely thanks to Headway with the art teacher we had years
ago, I dont know about the lady that does it now, I have no idea, I dont know one
way or another but the guy that was here do you remember his name? He gave me
the spur, he spurred me towards art, I enjoyed it. I never used to because at school I
dont know if you have ever done art at school, my drawings were so hopeless I
thought Art? Me doing art? but at Headway it started to take shape and after that
when the art teacher left Headway, the new teacher I dont know at all because I
havent done art since. But my husband found a private teacher and I have done
plenty of art since. Thats it, theres nothing else to say.

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When, apart from when you are not at Headway, apart from obviously your art,
what other things do you do?
I used to go to aerobics but then I realised that I havent got the strength really, I tried
to find a gym which was as good as this gym here, I love the gym here, the gym also
is brilliant and so I went to the gym privately as well but its nowhere near as good as
the one we have here and its too much, theres people who go to the gym you know
which is not my scene at all! I love it here but nowhere else. Anyway, enough of me.
What sort of art do you do?
I have painted all sorts to be honest, I start with a picture, like I look at a Monet in a
book and I try to reproduce - basically. I am an art forger! [all laughing] I am making
Monets all over the place! I am only joking now. I follow the instructions of my art
teacher basically and I do as well as I can.
But you find that originals have helped like in terms of technique and things
like that?
Oh absolutely. I mean I expect that I did some art here before but its not the same,
its really private lesson with that lady I have as an art teacher. Being in a group you
dont really get much out of your teacher.
Do you find art sort of helps you?
Mmm very much.
A bit therapeutic?
Mmm definitely. But I wouldnt be able to analyse that, you could ask my daughter
because she is an art therapist so somehow it must do a lot of good but its definitely
14

done me a lot of good, I enjoy my life much more because of my art. I have even had
exhibitions. You have never seen my exhibitions in the Round Church?
Changing the subject slightly, how did you find it coming to terms with the fact
that you had gained a disability, going from being, just the change in your
situation from somebody who didnt have a disability to somebody who did.
That can be quite a difficult thing to kind of, in your head, to come to terms
with, how did you find that?
Thats a difficult question to answer. I will have to say something that is might allow
you to understand the context I have a very strong spiritual life and I believe that
things are given to try us but to try us in a sense of... but to help us progress towards
a better self. So I have taken... I have accepted that was my destiny and I am quite
happy now as you can see I am no problem at all and I think I have a social attitude;
I tend to like talking to people and even giving advice and help. Maybe thats my
pride. I shouldnt be like that but we cant all choose to be perfect we, we try, we
strive but we dont always get there.
So with your spirituality in your life that helped you sort of accept what happened to
you?
It does, yeah. What was the question?
No I was just saying your sort of your spiritual sort of just helps you?
I believe that every experience in ones life is given to us in order to become a better
person. Not saying I am a better person, please dont interpret it in that way, but I still
believe that we are working towards becoming a being which has understanding and
can relate to people in difficulty and be able to empathise and sympathise - not
15

sympathise, sounds - dont like that word - but empathise thats important and I think
this experience that I have had has helped me be empathetic and thats why I like
Headway because in Headway theres a lot of people with different disability they
have had to comes to terms to, with. And I am happy to talk to anyone here,
everyone is the same as me, we are on the path. If you have a question please do
ask because I run out of things to say.
Would you like to talk a little bit about your spirituality?
Oh my god!
You certainly dont have to but if you would like to talk about your spirituality
or your faith or however you say it it would be very interesting to hear.
Well I believe first of all, I deeply believe in God and I am sure that all of us are the
children of God and we are given a quality inside us which we have to find and
express. What else can I say? And I think that I found that my talent is compassion.
And I believe that I am able to help a lot of people just by talking to them. Maybe
thats what my talent is. Not art! Although I wish it was art.
So with your faith, have you always had a belief in God sort of right from when you
were younger?
From a child. I have always believed in God very strongly. But that belief has been
strengthened by my problem. Youd think it would be the opposite wouldnt you
because when you get like a bash on the head and have everything impaired
because of that out of the blue you think so where was God then? But it didnt stop
me from believing. I still believe.
And has your faith also helped you? With coping?
16

I wouldnt say so because Ive got, I believe very strongly in God but I havent got a
faith that is like that. I dont know how to explain it. I believe in God thats all I can
say and I am sure well I dont know, I am not sure of anything to be honest! Why am
I saying I am sure? I am not sure. Anyway sorry to ramble on.
Thats fine its all interesting.
Thank you.
Has the experience of having a brain injury, did that in any way alter your
thoughts or attitudes towards your sister who was born with a disability do
you think?
What was the verb you used?
Well you gained a disability whereas your sister was born with a disability, do
you think that your experiences post your injury changed your attitude to your
sister or helped you maybe to understand her in a different way or...?
I always had a lot of love for my sister, I dont think my brain injury changed anything
to be honest. I was a child when she was born. And I have seen the situation from
the moment we understood that she was deaf and obviously would never speak I
was prepared kind of inwardly to be her mentor. I dont know what else to say.
Thats brilliant thank you. What do you think the future holds for you?
Well I hope a lot of lovely things! (laughs) I dont know.
Do you have anything you want to achieve or anything you want to do or..?
I havent thought about it, its an interesting question, maybe I will give it a thought.

17

If you could, what do you think could change within society, within people, to
make the situation for people who have suffered a brain injury, better? What
do you think could be done to improve things?
Thats a difficult question.
Obviously you dont have to answer it, I just thought it might be interesting.
I was just trying to think how to put it in words because sometimes I think in pictures,
thats the funny thing about my brain.
Have you always thought visually? Or is that something that came about post
your experience?
I think its post my brain injury. And maybe thats why I am better at art now than I
have ever been before in my... At school when the art teacher would go Oh my god,
this, whats this Sonia? But now I paint really nice things so maybe I have to be
grateful to my brain injury! Maybe it triggered something in my brain which has made
me, my brain more artistic. I dont know I am only rambling now. Sorry.
I think we have covered quite a lot is there anything we havent spoken about
that you would like to speak about?
I cant think of anything, sorry.
Ok I think we will probably end it there then if thats good.

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