FHM India December 2013 PDF

december 2013 / ` 100
its COLD
outside
but its
hot in
here
with...
chitrangda
33
the big feature
things to
know about
f1 in 2014
Lonely? Get a
dog, we tell
you how
Bruce
dickinsons
ways to beat
recession
(with metal)
plus!
Balotelli on
taking punches
Battle of the red
pepper sauces
Why dubai cops
deserve a brabus,
thullas dont
Virat Kohli on
why XBox1
blows, tats
INDIa edition Vol 7 issue 01
contents
december 2013
p54
Chitrangda
Singh
A shoot so hot, you wont
even pretend to read the
interview.
2
December 2013
38
The man who

would be captain
...if Rohit Sharma doesnt

ruin the party. As a part of
being ahead of the curve
(and turning down interview
requests with Rohit Sharma
not too politely) we
interview the metrosexual
icon of the Indian cricket
team Virat Kohli.
62
FHM End of the

year Formula 1
round-up
Why Jenson Button is too

tall and Hulkenberg too fat
for Formula 1 next year.
Plus, a kick ass interview
fhmindia fhmindia
with Nico Rosberg,

Raikkonen at his dismissive
best and just why 2014
might be the end of Red
Bulls dominance.
74
shenanigans and voluntary

overtime.
96
Make the ultimate

Christmas feast
Maiden legend Bruce

Dickinson to sort out
the world economy once and
for all.
Stuck with hen-pecked

friends who make
Christmas meal plans and
never follow through? Your
guide to making Turkey,
Plum Pudding and Crab
Cakes. Yes, Crab Cakes.
80 FINDING LOVE
102
Fighting recession
WITH METAL
FHM teams up with Iron
(AND SEX) AT WORK
Take your office romance

from stolen glances
across the photocopier and
water-cooler moments to
sordid storeroom
A MANS GUIDE
TO DOGS
Barking mad about dogs?

We present everything you
need to know about our
canine companions.
fhmindia.com
contents regulars
16
34
106
20
44
114
access
rted
Impo tie
hot
p8
Stephanie
Fantauzzi
The reason you should get
over Mad Men and start
buffering Shameless USA!
16 Finally art gets

interesting
Ending centuries of yawns
induced by uni-browed
women and straw fields, art
finally gets a new, sexy
FHM approved edge.
22 Letters
Notes, SMSs, Champagne
bottles, hate tweets and
kitchen sinks.
24 Jokes
Epic PJs, phenomenally bad
pick-up lines and jokes so
obscene youd want to start
a Whatsapp group!
26 News
A bra so cool, it sends a
tweet out every time its
unhooked, why the Japs
arent having any sex, and
why Oreos are as addictive
as Cocaine all the news
you want to know this
month.
32 Girl NEXt Door
John Lennon glasses +
Swimsuit = Sex on Toast
December 2013
filter
34 The return of
Anchorman 2
Shahid Kapoors movie that
got sued by Rambo owners
and other movies you might
want to watch this month.
36
Ankur tiwari
On making hot new indie
music and why you should
be paying attention to him.
42 Make money on
the oscars
Your cheat-sheet.
44 Assasins creed
+Batman Arkham
origins+WWE+NBA
2k14
Played, aced, reviewed.
50 Balotelli
The AC Milan striker on
why people pick on him,
racism and why he very
often finds himself on the
wrong end of the punch.
fhmindia fhmindia
upgrade
99
Ready for the
smartwatch?
Its here even if you arent.
106
SURVIVE all
MUSIC FESTS
Your guide to music fests
and the best swiss knives to
carry to them!
108
Manly winter
cocktails
Brandy cocktails for a real
man. Or at least a
metrosexual one.
114
The FHM Red
pepper sauce
shootout
Capsico Vs Tabasco Vs Fire
Fighters. FHM seperates the
sauces from the pretenders.
116 RE-BOOT
Why its okay to wear boots
as long as Harley Davidson
didnt make it.
120 Final
countdown
fhmindia.com
editors
letter
So, another year bites the

dust. And another one And
another one... You can now
see why Queen is not a good
choice for an opening
(pardon the pun). The band
and the song go off on a loop
without giving you the one
thing you really need a
transcribable line like Tana
na na na Ta na na na
BATMAN.
Anyway, I digress. For
better or for worse 2013 is
over and there are no
catastrophic prophesies for
2014 from the bearded man
and his brethren, which is
good for a change.
Anyway, 2014 is a big year.
But then youve got all of
2014 to prepare for it.
December is when you need
to laze in the day, get
hyperactive at night, do your
year-end bookings in
advance (Pondicherry and
staying in are the new Goa, if
you are looking for ideas)
and have some mindblowing sex, preferably with
someone youve just met.
Cant get out of work? No
time for shag prospecting?
Dont fret. Weve got you the
exhaustive guide to finding
sex at work (Page 80).
Do you think 2014 might
be a good time to get
something more permanent
in your life? We do too.
Which is why weve rounded
up whatever we all knew
about dogs (turns out it was
a lot) and poured it into a
4-page Dog Reckoner (page
102). In our constant
endeavour to be ahead of
the curve and because wed
already turned down
interview requests with
Rohit Sharma, not too
6
December 2013
is brought to you by
FHM is called into meetings by
Publisher & COO Vikas Johari
CEO & Managing Director Prakash Johari
CFO Kuldip Singh
Editor Kabeer Sharma
politely, we got you an

interview with Virat Kohli
(page 38). And following the
massive response to Lionel
Messis interview, weve
snagged an interview with
the constantly moaning,
often on the receiving side of
a punch, AC Milan Striker
Balotelli (page 50).
Our pice de rsistance or
the cherry on the cake (in
case your French is as rusty
as ours) is our end of season
Formula 1 special Nico
Rosberg on missing a Kings
of Leon performance, Kimi
on his Ferrari dreams and
just why Jenson Button and
Hulkenberg are too tall and
fat for Formula 1 in 2014
(page 62).
Thought art was boring?
Its sexy now, so turn to
(page 16) for the dope. Dubai
police has just got
themselves a Brabus to add
to a fleet that already has
Aston Martins an Aventador
turn to (page 20) to
see how the mamas from
the rest of the world
measure up.
Plus, weve got you the
dope on why Huawei Ascend
P6 might be the iPhone
beater (page 100) and other
gadget scoops along with a
review of the 24, Krissh 3
and Dhoom 3 games besides
a personal favourite
Batman: Arkham Origins
(page 46). Weve also put
together a 3-pager on
cooking a Christmas dinner
for those whore stuck with
hen-pecked friends like we
are (page 96).
Enjoy the issue, get
smashed on New Years Eve
and see you in 2014.
Kabeer Sharma
What we did
this year
The Brazilian student, who

auctioned off her virginity for $
780,000 in 2012, is trying again
this year with a reserve price of
$100,000. Thankfully though,
the trend hasnt really caught on.
We also discovered this year
that Mallika Sherawat is less
sale-able than Rakhi Sawant and
Rahul Mahajan in finding herself
a match.
Saw Sachin Tendulkar retire,
Arvind Kejriwal become even
more unsufferable and Rohit
Sharma finally scoring a run.
Had to convince ourselves that

SRKs movie made more money
than Salmans and Aamir thinks
he looks great in a bowler hat.
Concurred that love handles
are out of fashion, DPads not
Vidya Balan is THE sex icon,
and Tarun Tejpal is a certified
fool for taking a sabbatical
from Tehelka after allegedly
molesting an employee.
fhmindia fhmindia
FHM is taken on its travels by

International Director of Mens Magazines
Simon Greves (+44 20 7182 8074)
International Head of Content
Anouska Christy (+44 20 7182 8941)
International Commercial Manager
Graham Kirk (+44 20 7182 8941)
International Content Manager
Jennifer Batchelor (+44 20 7182 8056)
International Content Coordinator
Charlotte Smith (+44 20 7182 8069)
International Content Executive
Ellie Bond (+44 207 520 6561)
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fhmindia.com
december 2013
ITS
GREAT
TO BE
A MAN
edited BY CHRIS SAYER
who
she?
Age: Not telling,
but I was born on
St Patricks Day.
(The internet says
shes 26)
From: Brazil
Likes: Travelling, Will
Ferrell movies,
Aerosmith
Dislikes: Spelling
errors, peanuts,
dishonesty
Twitter:
@stephaniefanta
December 2013
fhmindia.com
Stylist: Jeff K Kim

Hair: Giovanni Giuliano
Make-up: Patrick Tumey
Location: Paula Salvatore,
Sr Director of Capitol Studios
Would
Wife
Americas
Next Big
Star
M eet S te p h anie F anta u z z i ,
t h e B ra z i l ian - born mo d e l
an d a c tress bringing t h e
se x y to S h ame l ess U S A
S TU H OO D
fhmindia.com
S t e p h e n B u sk e n
fhmindia fhmindia
December 2013
Would
Wife
till harbouring doubts as to whether

America does telly better than us? Erase
them by downloading Shameless USA
immediately, because it stars the lovely
Stephanie Fantauzzi. The Florida-raised model and actress
plays Estefania, the short-tempered, sex-loving, clothes-shy
daughter of a Brazilian drug lord. Estefanias most
memorable moments of the series include an angry, nude
booty call, having an orgasm in the back of a car, getting her
tan lines spray-tanned in front of an audience, and dangling
from the roof of the Sears Tower wearing only a thong. OK,
we made that last one up but, still, her characters done
some crazy shit. With some serious top-secret acting
jobs lined up for the rest of 2013, Stephanie is tipped to
be US tellys hottest new star. Say ol!, everyone
10
December 2013
FHM: Hi Stephanie! So Shameless USA must be

pretty fun to be part of.
Stephanie: It really is. We have amazing writers who push
every script to the limit. I cant believe some of the crazy
storylines they manage to come up with. There are basically
no boundaries.
FHM: Your character Estefania is not exactly shy, is she?
Stephanie: No, shes not. Shes a free spirit who uses her
assets to her advantage. But I like that about her. She knows
how to use her sex appeal to get what she wants. Her needs
definitely come first.
FHM: How do you feel about getting naked on camera?
Stephanie: I dont agree with gratuitous sex scenes, but my
scenes work because they show exactly who Estefania is.
She is a stereotypical Brazilian, who is free with her body
fhmindia fhmindia
fhmindia.com
The sex
scenes are
really
beautifully
shot, so
everyone just
looks amazing
FHM: Cunning. What other
pranks do you play?
Stephanie: Ive done loads
and loads of great ones (see
her best pranks over the
page), but a couple of recent
ones I liked were using an
app to prank call my friends
until they were at the point
of calling the cops, and
making up crazy stuff that
my hungover friend had
supposedly done the night
before. Its fun freaking
people out who have drunk
memory loss.
FHM: Are you a big
drinker?
Stephanie: Not really. Id
definitely be considered a
lightweight by any standards.
When Im working, Ill have a
glass of wine at most, but
when Im having fun, my
drink is Jameson whisky,
ginger ale and cherry.
FHM: Blimey. Did you pick
that up in Ireland?
Stephanie: No. Ive never
been to Ireland or Britain,
but Im dying to visit. I have
bikinis, Beach bunny
friends who visit London all
previous page:
the time and they rave
shirt and bikini bottoms, Gap
bikini, beach bunny
about the underground music
scene and the fashion.
Hopefully Ill get over this
summer. But I hear its cold,
and celebrates it. When you see it like that, getting naked
so Ill definitely have to pack my Victorias Secret hoodie.
is nothing to be ashamed of. Also, the sex scenes are
FHM: It is indeed pretty cold. What other fun stuff are
beautifully shot, so everyone looks amazing.
you up to?
FHM: True. You also look amazing in this shoot. Did you Stephanie: Work-wise, Im shooting a pilot for a TV show
enjoy it?
and a film. Aside from that, I want to get home to Florida for
Stephanie: It really was so much fun definitely the best
a bit and then hopefully head to the Caribbean for some
shoot I have ever done. It was playful, flirty and sexy. I loved relaxing beach time.
frolicking on the beach with my rubber ducky, popsicles and FHM: Are you a swimmer on a sunbather?
water gun.
Stephanie: Im a beach bum. When my mum was pregnant
FHM: Are you handy with a water pistol?
with me she spent lots of time lying around eating exotic
Stephanie: I like to think I can hold my own when the
fruits on the beach, and that trait has definitely been passed
water starts flying. Not that I always play fair. Im a huge
down to me. Growing up, if I wasnt at school, Id be lying on
prankster, so rather than get involved in a fight, I like to
the beach with friends.
creep up on people and drench them when they least
FHM: Whats the best way for a guy to get your attention
expect it.
on the beach?
12
December 2013
fhmindia fhmindia
fhmindia.com
Bikini, beach bunny

Heels, jimmy choo
Would
Wife
1 Honey, Im pregnant
This is a classic trick any
girl can play. Ive only done
it once to an ex-boyfriend,
but it worked a treat. Poor
guy. He just went straight
into panic mode.
2 Ketchup cut
I prank my mum at least once a
year. The best one Ive done
involved me pouring ketchup
on my arm, then screaming
that Id cut myself cooking. You
should have seen her face.
My character
knows how to use
her sex appeal to get
what she wants.
Her needs definitely
come first
3 The car move

You swipe your friends keys, move
their car round the corner and then
put the keys back in their jacket.
When they go out, they think
theyve been towed and go mental.
Its hilarious.
Stephanie: Its sexy when someone clearly cares about their

body and is in good shape.
FHM: So once weve worked out and got the beach body,
then what?
Stephanie: Maybe pull the classic throwing-the-ball-orFrisbee-to-your-friend-but-accidentally-hitting-a-hot-girl
trick. Its a total clich, but it gives you a chance to
apologise and then throw in the charm and wow them with
your sense of humour. I cant promise this trick will work
for every girl, but it will work with me. Aside from a guy
being in shape for the beach, a good sense of humour is a
huge thing for me.
FHM: Cool. So whats next do we just hand over our
number and wait for your call?
14
December 2013
S te phanie s
most
S hameless
prank s
Stephanie: No, the beach is a good place to start chatting,

but thats it. Asking for a girls number right there and then
makes her feel cornered and uncomfortable. So instead of
doing that, mention a bar youre heading to and suggest she
and her friends join you later. If that happens, and the vibes
are still good, then its fair game to exchange contact details.
FHM: Excellent. Finally, you mentioned getting your
body beach ready. Whats your opinion on male body
hair? Do you like a hairy chest?
Stephanie: If you have one of those Persian rugs on your
chest, then you should probably trim it to keep it tidy. But
if its just a little bit of hair, Id say keep it I love the
rough-and-ready look. Keep your stubble unshaven, too. The
five-oclock-shadow look is always a hot one in my opinion.
fhmindia fhmindia
fhmindia.com
ly,
l
a
n
Fi me
so d
gooArt
3
PG-1
This months Art
Its time to be liberated from yawn-inducing pictures of mono-browed women and haystacks. FHM
uncovers some good, moderately disturbing art.
16
December 2013
fhmindia fhmindia
fhmindia.com
The man who paints

with his penis
Australian Tim Patch uses his

pecker to paint. Thats right, this
guy has traded his paintbrush in
for a tool he always has on hand,
and has affectionately named
himself Pricasso.
Great Wall
of Vagina
Female genitalia has long been a

source of fascination, recently of
celebration too, but generally, of
confusion. It would seem creating
images of the vagina is the sole
preserve of pornographers, erotic
artists and feminists. Or is it? Step
in British artist Jamie McCartney
who has grasped the nettle to
create a monumental wall
sculpture on this most intimate of
places. So for 400 women, their
privates have gone very public.
RoadKill Art
American artist Kira Ayn Varszegi

uses her 38DD breasts as brushes
to create original paintings. Kira
Ayns technique maybe original,
but its also rather simple she
just applies oil paint directly to her
breasts and presses them against
the canvas. The process is
repeated several times, using
various colour combinations and
transfer techniques, until shes
satisfied with her work. Kira claims
the secret to her success lies in the
way she mixes colours in order to
get a well-balanced composition,
but we think it might have
something to do with her boobs.
project
fhmindia.com
fhmindia fhmindia
Toting Tongue
Now heres a hobby thats bound to

leave a bad aftertaste in your
mouth. Ani K, from Kerala, makes
paintings using his tongue. No, he
doesnt hold a paintbrush with his
tongue, as we mistakenly believed
at first. He actually slathers paint on
it, which he then transfers on to the
canvas to create beautiful images.
Words: Nishant Nayyar
The painter who uses

her breasts
Adam Morrigan, an artist from

Gloucestershire in Britain, creates
works of art from road kill and
actually sells some of them as
well. Adam is one of the most
unusual artists on the planet and
makes a living creating and selling
artworks made from the carcasses
of dead animals he finds around
his neighbourhood. He often
cooks and eats the road kill he
finds, but what he cant eat, he
turns into pieces of dead art.
December 2013
17
OWN THE
MORNING
[3]
[6]
All the gear you need to get a headstart on your day

[1]
[4]
[7]
[8]
[5]
[2]
Photography: Andy Parsons
1. LISTEN UP
Hall & Oatess music will make you
feel like youre the happiest man
alive, no matter what hour of day it
is. Just ask Joseph Gordon-Levitts
character Tom in (500) Days Of
Summer.
`300, local record store
18
2. GRIND IT YOURSELF
Throw out that instant coffee and
grind up some beans to get the
freshest possible mug of the good
stuff. Its worth the extra effort,
honest.
Barista , `325,
December 2013
3. DRINK LIKE An
OLYMPIAN
Chuck 250g of Greek yoghurt,
500g of frozen berries and any
other fruit into this, and youre
drinking the breakfast of a Team
GB Olympic swimmer.
Kenwood kMix blender, `1,527 ,
kenwoodworld.com
4. STUDY THE BIBLE
If youre going to trust anyone to
write a bible on breakfast, it should
be a man with a name like Malcolm
Eggs, co-author of this fine book.
The Breakfast Bible, `1,496,
amazon.com
5. SEE THE LIGHT

Let this light rouse you from
a slumber instead of an alarm
clock. Its clinically proven to help
your AM energy levels.
Philips Wake Up Light, `9,429,
amazon.com
6. PIMP up YOUR WALLS
Early-morning inspiration is hard to
come by. Encourage staring at this
vintage map by Douglas Wilson.
Make Your Own Path,
`2,012, thecalmgallery.com
7. MAKE AN IMPRESSION
Got lucky last night? Nows
fhmindia fhmindia
the time to impress her with your

morning-after skills. Start with a
killer brew andCappuccino beaker
set, `1,132, pedlars.co.uk
8. BOIL IT OLD SKOOL
make it the way your grandad
did, plus help save the
environment in the process.
stove top kettle, `150, local grocery
shop
9. WATCH IT BROWN
Who needs hangover telly when
you can see your slices of Hovis
brown up perfectly right before
your eyes? Fear for your job,
fhmindia.com
Co
Materoial
ls
[13]
[9]
[16]
FOUR
THINGS MEN
CAN DO
WITHOUT
IN THE AM
A BEEPING ALARM CLOCK
Being awoken by the evil

NERRRGK! NERRRGK!
of an alarm clock is no way to
start a triumph-filled day. If you
must use your phone to rouse
yourself from your slumber, set
the alarm with something truly
inspirational, such as a Winston
Churchill speech over the
instrumental of Kanye Wests I
Am A God.
[10]
[14]
A BISCUIT BREAKFAST
Even the most high-flying

trillionaire can find 30 seconds
to pour some flippin milk on
some Frosties. If youre
frantically guzzling down one
of those breakfast biscuit
abominations on the way to
work, you need to have a stern
word/face-slap with yourself.
[11]
[15]
CHEAP-ASS SHOWER GEL
[12]
James Martin. Magimix Vision

two-slice toaster, `145, Selfridges
10. TAKE YOURS COLD
Pour over ice with milk and wake
up with the taste of New Orleansstyle iced coffee. Plans are afoot to
bring it from Brooklyn to Britain
soon.
`943 + delivery charges,
gradyscoldbrew.com
11. SLATHER IT ON
America knows its pancakes, so
who are we to protest when it
comes to their favourite syrup of
over a century? Aunt Jemima
fhmindia.com
Original Syrup, `500, Modern

Bazaar
12. DON top THREADS
Nothing says Im going to kick
todays arse like fresh-outta-thepackaging cotton socks.
`1,257, happysocks.com
13. EAT LIKE A HERO
Rome wasnt built in a day. Why?
Because they didnt eat a mountain
of waffles for brekkie. Waffle iron,
`1,218, junglee.com
14. FUEL YOUR FIRE
To hell with the morning queue at
Starbucks. Get this on the heat
and in a few minutes youll have a

kick-starting espresso.
Bialetti espresso maker, `1,450,
amazon.com
15. LOOK SHARP
Ironing stuff is a right pain in the
arse, so take a bullet and do that
work shirt the night before. That
way, you can reward yourself with a
nightcap. Shirt, `1,257, asos.com
16. REST YOUR HEAD
Because historys greatest
men didnt sleep in only-average
bedsheets. striped pillow set,
`2,200, junglee.com
fhmindia fhmindia
For around four pence

extra per day, you can leave
the house smelling like a
premium, high-end super-gent,
rather than a penny-pinching,
own-brand scrubberman. (And
if your shower gel costs less
than ` 50, you may
as well wash yourself in
horse-piss anyway.)
NEGLECTED MORNING GLORY
Nothing puts a swagger in

your morning like a bit of
pre-breakfast sexyfuntime. Just
think: here you are, chatting
away to Jill the receptionist
about her weekend, and yet
just two hours ago you were
face-deep in your girlfriends
knockers. This must be
what Russell Brand feels like, all
the time.
December 2013
19
the Coolest
The country of the

richest of the rich
has just
incorporated the
Brabus B63S-700
Widestar to its police
fleet. The police in
Dubai already have
Carbon Motors E7,
Nissan GT-R, Ferrari FF,
Lamborghini
Aventador and an
Aston Martin One-77
in their fleet. Some of
the cheaper cars that
their cops drive are
the Hyundai Genesis,
Ford Mustang,
Chevrolet Camaro SS,
Bentley Continental
GT, BMW M6 and the
Mercedes Benz SLS
AMG.
20
December 2013
DUBAI POLICE
DUBAI POLICE
DUBAI POLICE
DUBAI POLICE
a few
more
Lamborghini
Aventador
Price: `5.05 - 5.62 cr

0-100 kmph: 3 seconds
CC: 6500
Top Speed: 350 Kmph
Max power: 700 Bhp
Max torque: 690 Nm
Aston Martin
One-77
Price: `2 cr
0-100 kmph: 3.7 seconds
CC: 7300
Top Speed: 320 Kmph
Max power: 750 Bhp
Max torque: 750 Nm
fhmindia fhmindia
Carbon
Motors E7
Price: $80,000 (2008 est)

CC: 3000
Top Speed: 250 Kmph
Max power: 300 Bhp
Max torque: 570 Nm
ferrari ff
Price: `1.53 crore

CC: 6262
Top Speed: 335 Kmph
Max power: 650 Bhp
Max torque: 683 Nm
fhmindia.com
cop cars
Qatar
Bugatti Veyrons
desi drive
A look at the
vehicles that
Indian police
gets to drive.
The cops here get to drive

Bugatti Veyrons, but they
are known for their love for
Porsche sports cars. These
premium cars are not used
for some GTA type
chases, but for patrolling
the streets.
delhi police
South Africa
Lamborghini
Gallardo
Considering the high

crime rate here, the South
African police have
incorporated Lamborghini
Gallardos in their fleet.
They have both the
manual and automatic
variants.
While Indian police is still

struggling to phase out their
Gypsys, police contingents the
world over are taking Porsches,
Bugattis and Ferraris for a spin
Italy
Lamborghini
Gallardo
Just like South African

police, even the Italy
Police drives Lamborgini
Gallardos, which is a brand
developed in the country
itself. As a policy, Italian
police uses only
homegrown cars.
Germany
Merc Brabus
Rocket CLS
The Germans, like the

Italians, believe in their own
brands, so they use Mercedes
Benz Brabus Rocket CLS,
which was declared the
fastest street legal salon in
2006. Its the fastest police
car in the world as well.
chevrolet tavera
delhi police
toyota innova
Agra Police
Honda CBR
England
USA
Australia
Austria
mumbai Police
tamil nadu Police
Hyundai Accent
fhmindia.com
Lamborghini
Gallardo
The police force drives

everything from small
family cars like the Ford
Focus, Hyundai i30,
Peugeot 308 and the
Vauxhall Astra to BMW 3
Series, the Vauxhall
Vectra, BMW 330 Diesel
and Volvo V70.
Dodge Charger
The best officers in New

York and several other
states in America drive a
Dodge Charger, which is
loaded with either a
5.7-liter EZD HEMI or a
6.4-liter ESG HEMI V8
engine and can accelerate
from zero to 60 miles per
hour in just 4.3 seconds.
fhmindia fhmindia
Lotus Exige
The Oz police uses the

coupe version of the
two-seater two-door Lotus
Exige. This sports car has a
1.8-liter Toyota
supercharged I4 engine
combined with a six-speed
manual transmission
system, and can zoom from
zero to 60 in 3.88 seconds.
Porsche 911
Its not just cars like the

Porsche 911 that the
Austrian police are known
for, they also have a fleet
of expensive bikes.
December 2013
Words: Kumar Saurav
Mahindra Jeep
21
letters
The Kitchen sink

I have realised that writing to FHM is
a thankless job. You guys just dont
appreciate our letters. You just reward
some stupid second rate letter with
the letter of the month. Your last
months winner thought that
Sarah-Jane Dias will soon replace
Katrina Kaif. You have to be either
stupid or blind to believe that. I have
given up. You guys can keep
rewarding the unworthy letters and
ignore the real talent. I thought you
guys were honest about rewarding the
letter of the month, but I was wrong.
You folks need to rethink.
Insincerely yours.
Capt Oscar Louis
Have a drink Oscar... Like the Goans

say Susegad.
Your November issue was
sheer dynamite
Honestly, I never read a single issue of
FHM magazine before the one in
November 2013. My hubby is
obsessed with your magazine. He buys
a copy every month, is glued to it for a
good 48 hours at a stretch, and is
virtually non communicado to the rest
of the family (not that Im
complaining). In fact, I have always
ascribed to the popular notion that
november 2013
mens magazines are by and large steeped

in sex, drugs, rock n roll, topless girls and
testosterone imbibed articles dripping with
machismo with little or no literary value or
entertainment. However, my husbands
undying fondness for FHM triggered off
my curiosity. So one day I decided to
discover for myself whats the big deal
about FHM. Surprise! Surprise! To say I
was shocked would be an
understatement.... Im shellshocked. I
sincerely loved it! FHM is more of a
lifestyle statement vivacious, vibrant,
vitriolic and entertaining to the core. Your
November issue was sheer dynamite. I
loved each and every page. From sizzling
Nicole Scherzinger to iconic MESSI and
then from funny guy Russell peters to
yummy butter chicken, you guys got all the
action in those 120 pages. Just how do you
guys do it?
Dr. Indu Sattur, Mumbai
We stick to the basics Docr No farce,

just fun.
via fhm India Facebook page

Scorcher!
Anurag Roy on Access Girl
Sexy looking
Neeraj Verma on cover girl
Are all the desi bandiyaan too busy doing

gigs this diwali?
Sandeep Nimmakayulu on cover girl
F1 stories work well

I am a huge F1 fan, so I liked
your cover girl Nicole
Scherzinger very much. I
have seen her earlier in the
pit garages supporting her
beau Lewis Hamilton, but I
must say you truly captured
her sensuality. Many guys
must be thankful to God that
she is single again and ready
to mingle.
Naseem, New Delhi
Naseem, we wish all dads were like you.
This letter has won an Esprit

Verdugo PU Black Watch
Dont want to disappoint you

but Nicole is committed again.
December 2013
This magazine is full of

happiness and is therapeutic
I first read FHM at the IGI Airport
waiting hall last month. In that issue, a
celebrity (I dont remember her name) in
her interview had said that FHM is for
lads, so I gave my son a copy of FHM,
which he took to his school. Next year
hell be in college. They all talked about
50 countries on a BMW bike. This
magazine is full of happiness and is
therapeutic. However, I didnt like
editors letters introductory line
anniversaries are boring, babies as prize
and the death watch, which I found
disturbing. Visa rules for Indians is
useful. Good to see soccer stories, while
everyone talks of cricket. Try
interviewing Sachin Tendulkar. Strong
looks for cooler weather was timely, while
the story on RJs and Work Hard & Be
Nice to People was interesting. Sexy telly
special was the icing on the cake. Keep
up the good work.
Esprit is an attitude and not an age; Esprit is for

the young of heart who live and dress in a style that
leaves others fuming.
Arun Kumar Ghosh, West

bengal
22
l e tt e r o f t h e m o n t h
fhmindia fhmindia
fhmindia.com
jokes
access
a Date in a BMW CAR

Boy: Maine tumse ek baat
chupai hai.
Girl: Kya?
Boy: I am already married.
Girl: Tumne to dara diya tha,
mai samjhi BMW tumhari
nahi hai.
Rags to riches
Teacher: Imagine you are a
millionaire and write your life
history.
Student didnt write anything.
Teacher: Why are you not
writing?
Student: I am waiting for my
secretary to take notes.
Height of Flirting
Girl calls a boy
Girl: Hello baby
Boy: Ohh janu bolo
Girl: Kahan ho yaar subah se
koi ata pata nahi
Boy: Are hum to khoye huye
hain aapki aankhon me.
Girl: Abhi kya kar rahe ho?
Boy: Tumhaari photo dekh
raha huin, kahin aur man hi
nahi lag raha.
Girl: Maine to tumhe koi pic
di hi nahi.
Boy: Are mere dil me chapi
hai barson se.
Girl: But hum to parson hi
mile hain.
Boy: Tumhare bina har ek pal
barson hai Pinky.
Girl: Pinky? Ye pinky kaun
hai? Main toh Nisha huin.
Boy: Tumse baat karke main
to sab bhool jata huin.
Girl: Tum Vicky ho na?
Boy: Gharwale to Gaurav
bulate hain, lekin wo galat ho
sakte hain tum nahi.
Girl: Ye 98XXXXXXXX hai
na?
Boy: Ab tak nahi tha par ab
tum kehti ho to yehi hai.
Son Teaching His
Dad How To Eat
OREO Biscuits
Son: Pehle open karo, phir lick
karo aur phir dip karo.
Dad: Son, dont teach you
dad how to fuck.
24
December 2013
Half truth
Pappu: Mumma kal papa
kaamwali ko sofey per leta
kar...
Mom: Bus Beta! Raat ko jab
papa aayen toh phir batana...
Papa ke aatey hi
Mom: Haan beta ab batao
kya hua?
Pappu: Papa kaam wali ko
sofey per leta kar jo Sharma
Uncle aap ke saath karte hain
woh kar rahe the.
Classic insult
Dukandar: Bolo saheb, kya
chahiye?
Customer: Biwi ke kutte ke
liye cake lene aaya hun,
milega kya?
Dukandar: Yahi khaoge ya
parcel karke dun?
Our long term

relationship starts (looks
at watch)....now
ground and says, Somehow this

bottle of Scotch from my back seat
didnt break. Surely God wants us
to drink this Scotch and celebrate
our good fortune. She hands the
bottle to the man. The man nods
his head in agreement, opens it,
and chugs about a third of the
bottle to calm his nerves. The
woman takes the bottle,
immediately puts the cap back on,
and hands it back to the man. The
man asks, Arent you having any?
The woman replies, No. I think Ill
just wait for the police.
EPIC PJ
Teacher: Agar ek aam ki daali par
CLEVER SHE
A woman and man get into a
car accident. Though their cars
are totally demolished, neither
one of them is hurt. After they
crawl out of the wreckage, the
woman says, Wow, look at our
cars theres nothing left! This
must be a sign from Him that
we should be friends and not
try to pin the blame on each
other. The man replies, Oh
yes, I agree with you
completely. The woman
points to a bottle on the
Be FUNNIER
THAN VIR
DAS
bad pickup lines
10 kele lage hain, aur un mein se

saat amrood tod liye toh kitne
angoor bache?
Student: Sirf 9 haathi.
Teacher: Wah! Tumhe kaise pata
chala?
Student: Sir kyu ki main aaj tiffin
mein gobhi ki sabzi laya huin.
Moral: Rozana brush karo warna
petrol mehenga ho jaayega.
ONly a Man can
Understand a Man
Customer: I want to buy a ladies
watch.
Shopkeeper: Sir, wife ke liye
chahiye yaa phir branded dikhaun?
SIZE DOES MATTER

Raju and his wife Pummy are
facing hard financial times, so
they decide shell become a
hooker. Shes not quite sure
what to do, so Raju says, Stand
in front of that pillar and pick up
a guy. Tell him your rate is
`5000. If youve got a question,
Ill be parked around the corner.
Shes not there five minutes
when a guy pulls up and says,
How much?
Five thousand rupees. Damn.
All Ive got is two thousand.
Hold on, she says and runs
back to Raju, and asks, What

can he get for two thousand?
A handjob, Raju replies.
She runs back and tells the guy
all he gets for `2000 is a
handjob.
He says okay, she gets in the car,
he unzips his pants, and out
pops a very very HUGE male
unit. She stares at it for a minute
and then says, Ill be right
back. She runs back around the
corner and says breathlessly,
Raju, can you please give
`3000 to that man?
share gags, earn cash.

K n ow a n y f u n n y j o k e s ? E v e ry g ag u s e d
e a r n s yo u ` 2 5 0 ( h a h a ) . S e n d t h e m to
Get pro tips on the

#FHMLIVEAPP
f h m @ m a x p os u r e. i n
fhmindia fhmindia
fhmindia.com
news
access
A new bill wants

porn stars to wear
safety goggles
that a quarter of men lie about being

in love with their partner while they
are getting intimate. However, the
corresponding figure for the fairer
sex is just 6 percent. When it comes
to faking tears during sex though, as
many women are likely to do it as
men 6.25 percent.
The best Indian
restaurant is in
Bangkok
Bra to Tweet
This bra designed by OgilvyOne Athens to promote breast cancer

awareness tweets every time its unhooked. Greek celebrity Maria
Bacodimou, who has over 1.5 lakh Twitter followers, is currently
wearing it.
A new proposal in a bill makes it

mandatory for porn stars to wear
protective sunglasses. The bill has
been a topic of heated discussions
earlier as well, when it made it
mandatory for porn starts to wear
condoms to prevent the spread of
sexually transmitted diseases.
Water interrupts the
premiere of Titanic
artifact show
A leading restaurant magazine has

declared Gaggan, an Indian
restaurant in Bangkok, as the 66th
best restaurant in the world and the
best Indian restaurant in the world.
Ladies made to
grope mens crotches
for charity
The opening show of the travelling

exhibition that comprised of
artifacts discovered from the ruins of
the unsinkable ship and its
recreated rooms was cancelled in
Atlantas Premier Exhibition Center
due to disruptions caused by a
waters source.
According to several media reports,

a French hand sanitiser company
called Merci Handy hired women to
grope strangers crotches in return
for a donation. Any man who wanted
these ladies to go cup their crotch
had to pay $13.5 and the company
ended up raising $700 in total.
Men fake I love you

more than women
Oreo is as addictive
as cocaine
American researchers in Connecticut
College Study have said that Oreo
cookies are as addictive as cocaine
because both of them deliver the
same amount of happiness. For the
experiment, scientists fed the cookies
to rats and then studied the
brainwaves. It was found that the
biscuits had the same happy effect on
the rats as that of cocaine. The study
was done to support the belief that
fatty and sugary foods have the same
effect on the brain as drugs.
Youth in Japan arent making out
In a survey conducted by the Japan Association for Sex Education, 40%

women confessed to being a virgin. The research was aimed to dig deep
into the sexual habits and dating practices of female college students. In
fact, a survey by National Institute of Population and Social Security
Research found that 61% of unmarried men and 49% of women in the age
group of 18-34 are not in any sort of relationship. Another study
conducted by Japan Crush found that 30% of unmarried men have never
dated a woman.
26
December 2013
A new study has suggested that

during a sexual encounter, men fake
an I love you more than woman.
The new survey conducted by The
Sunday Telegraph in Australia stated
fhmindia fhmindia
fhmindia.com
19
grEAT
looking
covers
How you can use them on door

mats, as coasters and even to
laminate your door...
Inputs by Dimple Kohli, Director, Qboid Design House
28
1. 2 States by Chetan Bhagat

A tale of a boy and a girl from two
different states of India who are deeply in love
with each other.
Use it as a lamination for the washroom door.
3. Afterlife: Ghost Stories

from Goa by Jessica Faleiro
It compiles intriguing ghost stories of the
Fonseca family.
Will make a stunning doormat.
2. Dont Lose Your

MindLose Your Weight by
Rujuta Diwekar
It unveils many myths on weight loss and
dieting.
It is the perfect poster for your home gym.
4. Constitutional Law:
Principles and Policies by
Erwin Chemerinsky
Its a Bible for law students, professors, and
practitioners.
Great for the office pin-board.
December 2013
fhmindia fhmindia
5. Bhagavad Gita by various

authors
The scripture part of the Hindu epic
Mahabharata its considered a universal jewel
of Indias spiritual wisdom and is something you
can read daily to invigorate your life.
Put the Bhagawad Gita cover pages digital
print of the on the door of your mandir.
6. Choose Life A Dialogue
between Arnold Toynbee and
Daisaku Ikeda
Two world leaders exchange their views and
fhmindia.com
10
7. What Young India Wants by

Chetan Bhagat
It is a compilation of Bhagats essays and
speeches on India, its youth, its society,
culture and politics. It contains his ideas of
what he thinks the youth of the country want.
Print it on a fabric and use it as cushion cover,
fhmindia.com
or just paint it on the cushion cover.

8. 50 Shades of Grey by EL
James
An erotic, amusing and deeply moving tale
intended for mature audiences.
Print it on vinyl and use it as bedroom door
lamination.
9. FREEDOM AT MIDNIGHT by
Larry Collins and Dominique
Lapierre
It is a poignant reminder of the defining
fhmindia fhmindia
moments of the end of the British Raj, the

independence of 400 million people,
and their division into India and the newly
created Pakistan.
Print it on butter paper and stick it on wine/
beer bottles that can then be used as a lamp
in your hall or balcony.
10. Mastery by Robert Greene
A definitive guide to manifesting our potential,
put together by studying historys most powerful
people. Its helpful in developing mastery and
gaining true power over our chosen path in life.
December 2013
Words: Kumar Saurav
try to find answers to the issues and problems

that confront humanity.
Get it printed on two different fabrics and use
it as covers for a set of chairs kept side by
side.
29
11
14
Use the painting, which portrays human mind

and our control over it.
11. My Journey: Transforming
Dreams into Action by APJ
Abdul Kalam
He takes us through his life and his inspirations
from when he was a child right up till today.
We can get the book cover printed on vinyl to
make coasters.
12. Oxford Advance Learners
Dictionary
The biggest English language dictionary, it has
been used by approximately 35 million readers
all over the world.
30
December 2013
12
15
Make a wall with different words and their

meanings can be created, depending on the
concept and theme of the area.
13. Wonder by R.J Palacio
August Pullman is a 10-year-old boy who
likes Star Wars and Xbox, and is ordinary in
every way except for his jarring facial
anomalies. Homeschooled all his life, August
heads to public school for fifth grade and
hes not the only one changed by the
experience something we learn first-hand
through the narratives of those who orbit his
world. Augusts internal dialogue and
interactions with students and family ring
true and though remarkably courageous, he
fhmindia fhmindia
13
16
comes across as a sweet, funny boy who

wants the same things as everyone else:
friendship, understanding, and the freedom
to be himself.
Dcor for a boys room with a theme based
on friendship, understanding and the
freedom to be himself. Give his bed a Xbox
and Star Wars theme.
14. SD Burman and The World Of
His Music by Khagesh D Burman
In this book, the author gives readers an up
close and personal glimpse into the public and
private life of musics most iconic figure.
Make coasters.
fhmindia.com
17
fhm Loves
18
15. Steve Jobs by Walter Isaacson

It gives unique insight into the life of a man
who has transformed the way we live today.
Get it printed on any big glass door.
19
different countries currencies on it.
16. The City of Joy by Dominique

La Pierre
A book about living saints and heroes who
abandoned their affluent and middle class lives
to dedicate themselves to the poor.
Use it as an imprint for a bookrack.
18. The Complete Sherlock

Holmes by Sir Arthur Conan Dyle
The stories featured in this book display
Holmes detective skills, his ability to solve
difficult cases quickly, his knack at using logical
reasoning and forensic science, and his talent
at disguising himself.
Make a large cube puzzle with Sherlock
Holmes pictures and skills in graphic forms.
17. The Wealth of Nations by

Adam Smith
It accounts economic trends prevalent at the
dawn of the industrial revolution.
Put a digital print top on your centre table with
19. The Long Walk to Freedom

by Nelson Mandela
This book shows Mandelas commitment to
change the destiny of an entire nation.
Get it printed on a paper weight.
fhmindia.com
fhmindia fhmindia
December 2013
31
access
whoS
she?
NAME Rhea
Gupte
Lives in
Mumbai
Occupation
Model and
blogger
Winters coming?
Not for her though
32
December 2013
fhmindia fhmindia
fhmindia.com
December
Girl Next
FHM: As far as we can judge

from these pictures, you
are quite a vibrant girl...
Rhea: Yes. Im also confident,
ambitious and fun loving.
FHM: It seems you had a lot
of fun during this shoot?
Rhea: I love swimsuits as they
are insanely sexy. The shoot
was a blast too, as there was a
continuous supply of laughter,
food, great music and amazing
talent.
FHM: Anything in
particular that the
photographer insisted on?
Rhea: Nah, but they kept
spraying me with water the
whole day to keep mu skin
glistening for the pictures.
FHM: Which was the
naughtiest part of the
shoot?
Rhea: It was a pretty
straightforward professional
fashion shoot.
FHM: Thats soo boring...
Rhea: It wasnt actually, but I
cant really prove it you.
FHM: So are you
experimental when it
comes to relationships?
Rhea: Define experimental.
FHM: Woah! No ones ever
asked us that before, so
umm, lets skip this
question.
Rhea: Ok.
FHM: Can you recall a
dating disaster?
Rhea: None really. I have been
very lucky till now.
FHM: What are the things
that fascinate you in a guy
money, car or physique?
fhmindia.com
fhmindia fhmindia
Rhea: A lanky yet toned

Tommy Lee-esque physique is
what I like.
FHM: Really? We thought
he looked a bit like a
malnourished ghost.
Rhea: I never said I like him, I
like his physique.
FHM: Whats your idea of a
wild date? Please dont say
a candlelit dinner we are
looking for some fresh
ideas.
Rhea: A hot date on a
private beach.
FHM: Well, nine out of ten
girls have the same idea for
a wild date. Tell us, what
makes you go wild?
Rhea: Live performances of
bands I love.
FHM: What is that one
thing that you just cant
resist?
Rhea: The smell of Davidoff
Cool Water.
FHM: What are the things
that you are addicted to?
Chocolates and ice creams
dont count.
Rhea: Strawberries and high
heels.
FHM: What makes you a
good date?
I will always show up looking
fabulous.
FHM: Thats how we like
it So tell us about your
first hot date.
Rhea: I dont kiss and tell.
FHM: Do you like to crib
like other girls?
Rhea: We all have our bad
days, but Im not the
complaining sort.
December 2013
Words: Kumar Saurav; Photographer: Omkar Chitnis
Door
33
MOVIES
01
R... Raj Kumar
02
Action
Action
Dhoom 3
The third installment of the popular

movie series Dhoom is back with a
bang this month. This edition will see
Abhishek Bachchan and Uday Chopra
reprise their critical roles and Aamir
Khan, the slash narcissist Mr.
Perfectionist of Bollywood, joining the
cast in a suave villainous role of a
clown thief. Paired against him is
Katrina Kaif, who plays the role of an
acrobat diva. The film is the first
Bollywood film being released on the
IMAX format flaunting Dolby Atmos
capabilities. Out on December 20th
03
f
see i
Lets Sinha,
i
h
ks
or
Sona opular f lp
i s p c a n he
o
h
w
s,
g hit
ur
g ivin ahid K ap
it!
Sh
h
a
er
deliv
34
This masala film

revolves around an
aimless fella Rajkumar
(Shahid Kapoor) who
works for a drug baron.
On his latest mission,
Rajkumar sets out to kill
a rival drug lord, Manik
December 2013
Drama
American
Hustle
Parmar, but his life
changes forever when he
sets his eyes on Chanda
(Sonakshi Sinha). What
he doesnt know is that
Chanda is an orphan
whos been raised by her
uncle Manik Parmar!
After some persistent

wooing, Chanda falls for
Rajkumars charms, but
in order for their love to
flourish, he must
destroy the drug cartel
first. Original no?
Out on December 6th
fhmindia fhmindia
The story of a con artist and his

partner in crime who are forced to
work with a federal agent to
turn the tables on other cons,
mobsters, and politicians including
the volatile mayor of impoverished
Camden, New Jersey. The movie stars
Christian Bale, Amy Adams and
Bradley Cooper.
Out on December 25th
fhmindia.com
04
Comedy
Anchorman: The
Legend Continues
The Legend Continues is the story of

the on-set adventures of San Diegos
top rated newsman Ron Burgundy
(Will Ferell). After the plight that
ensured the Channel 4 news team
disbands and hits rock bottom, Ron and
his team is reunited and recruited to
bring up a new 24-hour news channel.
The first cut of the movie was 4.5
hours long, and eventually it was
re-edited to 2.5 hours. Phew!
05
06
Horror
Carrie
Drama
This is a tale of a shy girl, Carrie White, who grew up with

constant bullying that ultimately lead her to become an outcast.
Her only friend and unwavering support is her mother (Julianne
Moore), who religiously prays for her daughter. On prom night,
Carrie is bullied by her peers to such an extent that shes forced
to unleash her telekinetic terror on her small town.
fhmindia.com
Her
Theodore Twombly (Joaquin Phoenix) is a complex,

soulful man who makes his living writing touching
personal letters for people. Heartbroken after the end of a
relationship, he becomes intrigued with a new advanced
operating system that promises to be an intuitive entity
based individually on each user. As her needs and desires
grow in tandem with his own their friendship deepens
into an eventual love for each other. Out on December 18th
fhmindia fhmindia
December 2013
35
PROFILE
07
Fusion Jazz
hings have been on quite

roll for Mr. Tiwari, but that
wouldnt have been the
case had it not been for his
lackluster Hotel Management
course. The mischievous
songwriter who loves to pen down
words on his iPhone and has a
remarkably urban yet desi fashion
sense was all set to be the next
best chef, but that wasnt his
calling. I didnt pursue Hotel
Management because I liked it. I
did it to avoid getting into an
engineering course. At that point
of time, the course was new in the
professional space and the idea of
working in a 24 hour airconditioned environment in the

company of prim and proper
working professionals was what
attracted me to the course, he
further adds.
Ankur, who has been writing and
singing his own songs since school,
36
December 2013
started losing interest in the course

as soon as started his internship. He
avoids talking about his internship
by saying. Hotel jobs are quite
thankless. But even with the
tiresome working schedule that goes
along with a hotel job, Ankur was
able to find time for his true love
music. He maintains that he
somehow was always able to carry a
guitar along everywhere. It is like a
part of my body, he tell us. He
would write songs in his room and
then sing them in restaurants where
he worked to earn some quick bucks
while still in college. He further adds,
Though I loved singing my own
tunes, I couldnt get through a set

without singing hits like Hotel
California and other celebrated
covers of that time. In India we
shouldnt forget what people crave
for. After college, he started writing
full time and today has made his
mark in the indie music scene. Ask
Ankur
Tewari
Meet the barmy hatter who loves

juggling his multiple roles as actor,
songwriter, director and the force
behind Ankur & The Ghalat Family.
fhmindia fhmindia
fhmindia.com
He is an avid
Instagrammer and firmly
believes that social
networking camera apps
are a boon for people
who can unknowingly
hone their dexterity in
photography.
He has recently
acquired a record player
and has asked us to
send across a few
records if we stumble
upon them accidently.
Preferably, Led Zeppelin
and Pink Floyd.
him what made him choose the

name Ghalat for his band and all he
can say is I pen down words that let
the listener wander and get
confused in, and that is why we
chose the name Ghalat for our
band. Even our band logo shows 4
men walking in the wrong direction.
And that is in sync with the bands
identity and persona. The band
imbibes a lot of Urdu and Hindi
notions in their lyrics, which makes it
easier for them to communicate
their thoughts and viewpoints to a
vast gamut of listeners, hence
building a great relationship with
them.
sk him what inspires him to
document mellow lyrics and
he responds, Im not sure
what motivates me, but I like to write
my thoughts as they come to me. I
tend to do that even if Im in a
meeting because I am only as good
as my ideas. You will frequently
spot Tiwari donning fedoras with
Jaipuri chappals at events or even in
his videos, and the reason behind

this overwhelming fashion sense are
the two women in his life his wife
and his stylist. Between the ladies, he
is as sorted with his looks as he is
with his music and we know plenty
of screaming fan-girls who couldnt
be happier!
fhmindia.com
fhmindia fhmindia
December 2013
Currently he has
Nischay Parekh and
Prateek Kuhads track on
loop on his iTunes.
37
08
Pitch-In
The next
king of indian
FHM HERO
On why sense of humour

matters to him and why he
will give XBOX One a miss!
FHM: You are already
considered as the Indias
next captain as such an
early stage, how does that
feeling sink in with you?
Virat Kohli: It feels great to
know that people trust me to
lead the team. Ive had my
ups and downs but from day
one my motto has been self
belief so I backed myself,
worked hard and it is
fhmindia.com
overwhelming to have people

appreciate that effort.
FHM: At this young age,
people often consider you
as a temperamental person.
What do you do to take
charge of things and keep
your cool?
Virat Kohli: I wouldnt say Im
a temperamental person; Im
actually very calm off the
field. On the field its more of
fhmindia fhmindia
a passion than aggression. I

dont think Ive ever let
things get out of control but I
am very passionate about this
sport so thats what you see,
if I change that I wont be me.
FHM: Which has been
your toughest opponent
team and why?
Virat Kohli: The toughest
opponent team would be
South Africa because they
December 2013
39
scan this page

to see
virats best hits
have a very well balanced

team.
FHM: Which is one country
you love playing against?
Virat Kohli: The country I love
playing against is England
because they are extremely
competitive.
FHM: If not a cricketer then
what would have you been?
Virat Kohli: If not a cricketer I
would probably be doing
some sort of business with
my brother or a regular job or
something. I havent really
thought about it.
FHM: You do a lot of
commercials for brands.
Would you at some point of
time want to try out your
luck with movies?
Virat Kohli: I havent thought
about it. Brand commitments
are part of being a cricketer

but Ive never thought of
acting as a career. Im a
cricketer, and that is what I
love so why would I think
about doing anything else.
FHM: We hear youre quite a
videogamer... Whats your
favourite?
Virat Kohli: My favourite game
is FIFA 14.
FHM: Xbox One or PS4?
PS4 because Ive always had
all the versions of Play
Stations over the years.
FHM: Being touted as a Delhi
brat, what qualities do you
take from your home city to
your game?
Virat Kohli: Delhi has instilled
the qualities of being bold,
challenging the opposition
and being very confident of
right temperament
can lead An
average person to
Greatness!
Kohlis best performance

that have brought him
under limelight!
40
December 2013
2013
The Delhi lad now

shares the fastest
5000 run record
with Sir Viv
Richards.
118
runs
2010
107
runs
vs Australia
Made 118 runs
while chasing a
formidable total of
289 runs.
2011
vs New Zealand
Made 107 runs just
when the top order
tumbled to the
Maoris.
fhmindia fhmindia
117
runs
2011
vs West Indies
Made 117 runs to
turn the table
towards his teams
side.
133
runs
2012
vs Sri Lanka
Made 133 runs as he
swiftly dispatched
the ball to the fence
with precision.
183
runs
2012
vs Pakistan
Made 183 runs
while demolishing
arch-rivals Pakistan
with a big century.
fhmindia.com
the
records
5000
runs
FHM HERO
my ability. I think that comes
from the upbringing and the
kind of people Ive always had
around me.
FHM: Youve restrained
yourself from publicising
personal affairs in public.
So are you or are you not
looking for a girl?
Virat Kohli: Right now Im
focused on my game. Our
schedule is packed so I dont
really have the time to
maintain a personal life. But
when the times right Id like
to settle for someone simple
and honest and who values
her family like me. Also, a
good sense of humour can
always move me.
FHM: Decode your fashion
style for us?
Virat Kohli: I dont have a
specific style. I wear what I
feel suits me and what Im
comfortable in. I dont really
follow trends.
FHM: What is your fitness
regime?
Virat Kohli: My fitness regime
depends on the time of the
season. Between tours and
series I follow the bare
workout regime. But off
season is where I hit it hard
and am a regular at cardio and
weight training. I believe that
a strong core is essential for
every sportsperson and
therefore I work on it
without fail.
FHM: Any plans on getting
more tattoos?
Virat Kohli: Maybe. Tattoos
are something that are very
dear to me as they define me
as a person and reflect my
personality. However, one
needs to know how to carry
them off without appearing
to come across as loud.
FHM: According to you what
makes a person a great
sportsman his talent or
his temperament?
Virat Kohli: The temperament
is what makes one a good
sportsman. Many players are
overtly talented but they lack
the right composure. I feel
the right temperament can
lead an average person to
greatness.
fhmindia.com
fhmindia fhmindia
December 2013
41
THE OSCAR
09
Film Heavy Weight
Make money on the Oscars

Its that time of year when Oscar-hungry masterpieces are unleashed upon the
cinema-going public. Here are FHMs big contenders for 2014s top movie prize
LADY
TO LOVE
12 YEARS A SLAVE
The brutal and true story of Solomon Northup,
detailing his kidnapping and sale into the
Louisiana slave trade. This Steve McQueen (no,
not that one)-directed flick took top honours at
the Toronto film festival.
FHM
P ic k
Gravity
George Clooney and Sandra Bullock star in
every agoraphobics worst nightmare, as a pair
of astronauts left stranded by a space mission
gone awry. Great on the eye, if not the blood
pressure.
The wolf of wall street

Martin Scorseses real-life story of
hard-boozin, hard-partyin New Yorker Jordan
Belfort (Leonardo DiCaprio), whose billiondollar manipulation of the stock market funded
decadent highs and crippling lows.
Inside llewyn davis
Having conquered the Wild West (True
Grit), Texas backwaters (No Country For Old
Men) and depressing middle America (Fargo),
the Coen Brothers turn their attentions to the
sounds of the 60s in New York City.
Mandela: long walk to freedom

Former EastEnders director Justin Chadwick
takes his experience capturing the gritty,
hard-knock-life of Walford and applies it to this
biopic of one of historys most famous sons
Nelson Mandela (Idris Elba).
42
December 2013
WINNING
ODDS
Based on a book
+ true story +
historical nasty =
Ashley Dyke
Sandra Bullock
(yep, shes still got it)
AMERICAN HUSTLE
This telling of a 1970s FBI crackdown on con
artists is as good as an open invitation to give
director David O Russell his long-craved
statuette after near-misses with The Fighter and
Silver Linings Playbook.
DRINK TO
SMUGGLE IN
Rum
and
Coke
Floating in space
+ insane
cinematography x
the Clooney factor
=
White Russian
Superstar dream
team + third-time
luck x J-Law =
Jennifer
Lawrence
Bourbon
on the rocks
Scorsese and
DiCaprio +
Sopranos writer
x true story =
Margot Robbie
Carey Mulligan
Overpriced
Champagne
Pint of
Brooklyn
lager
Coens +
Cannes
success +
Americana =
True story x
Stringer Bell +
EastEnders drum
beats at the end =
Naomie Harris
fhmindia fhmindia
South African
Sauvignon Blanc
fhmindia.com
Odds Courtesy Of Paddy Power. Correct At The Time Of Going To Press
IN A NUTSHELL
Issue 04 2013
Mercedes-Benz
www.mercedes-benz.co.in
smarttrucking
April-June 2013
Outdoor
GUIDE
Powered by BharatBenz
SEX
Q4 2013
STEPPING OUT
Arjun Kapoor on
alternate cinema
and switching off
POWERED BY
DRIVING FORCE
How Toto Wolff is
charting out the F1
teams success
THE PRODIGY
A day in Berlin with the most intelligent
car ever built - the new E-Class
HOW THE
PALLET
MOVES THE WORLD
Guarantee Absolute
Safety of Goods
Trade Secrets of Indias
Top Logistics Players
M aX po s u r e M e di a G r o u p
Warsaw India's EDM dream Usain Bolt
CAVE-D IN
A dive to the Earth's
core for fun!
moodsplanet.com
Vol I Issue IV june 2013
moodscondoms moodsplanet
crossings
republik
initiative
Days are
Bright
Nights
Brighter
crossings.in
GAME
10
Game On
Assassins Creed
Black Flag brings back the Golden Age of Pirates. You

play a freebooter who ends up being an Assassin
44
December 2013
fhmindia fhmindia
fhmindia.com
GA M E WA RS !
A suicidal
krrish, a
road rash
me too
and Anil
Kapoors 24
fhmindia.com
Though Assassins Creed 3 had

some naval fight scenes, Black Flag
lets you live on the seven seas, which
is a breakaway from the usual
jumping and climbing on buildings.
Another added element is that your
vessel needs to be upgraded
regularly, so that it can weather
storms and take on adversary fleets
and complete missions. Another
highlight is one on one ship
attacks as you get to engage in
fights and then mount the vessel
with your crew.
The multiplayer mode is quite
competitive as well and comes with
loads of customisation items and
new abilities. The game takes things
to a new level as players can use
decoys and fool rivals. There are six
different adventures laid out across
eight maps, which keeps you
interested. Assassin Creed Black
Flag takes pole position in this series
as it brings in more variations to the
game play which revitalises the
series and has high quality graphics
at the same time.
Perhaps the first engaging game on Lumia

As Krrish/Kaal/Kaya, you compete against
other characters in the race to achieve various
objectives like reachimg a chopper first or
racing to the finish line.
The game is simple you collect coins and

other power boosters while riding your bike
and avoiding colliding into anything. This one
has eye catching graphics and is faintly
reminiscent of Road Rash.
Verdict
The latest instalment of Assassin
Creed excels in open world play .
Another aspect worth mention is
the variety of side missions which
are engaging. As long as youre
online gamers can rate missions
which will go directly to the
developers. The story is no doubt
weak but the naval battles out on
vast open seas surely keep fans
entertained for a long time.
fhmindia fhmindia
Based on the popular TV series. 24, the

mobile game gets full marks in the graphics
department. Game play is a disappointing
version of Frontline Commando though and
there is too much lag in movement controls.
December 2013
Words: Arup Das
he Assassin Creed series has

been one of our all-time
favourite franchises, so after
finding out the latest adventure
takes place in the world of pirates,
we couldnt have been more excited.
This was a much-needed move by
the developers to change the games
ethos. Set in the 17th and 18th
century, protagonist Edward
Kenway sets off to the Caribbean in
search of hidden treasure and
discovers new lands. Before knowing
what is actually happening, he
gets in the middle of a war between
the Templars and the Assassins.
The new Assassins Creed IV: Black
Flag is about more than just
killing Templars, as now you will
also be involved in naval battles
and be expected to steer your crew
to safety.
This fourth installment of the
series is a lot more involving than
the ones before and you dont get
lost in translation with a long
narrative progression like in
Assassins Creed 3, so you are in the
thick of things from the start and the
game is a lot more pacier. This is
good for both first timers and
seasoned players.
You will not have any complaints
about the settings either, as the
detailed graphics of ports like
Havana and Kingston literally
transport you to those places.
Though the sights arent
breathtaking like in previous games
where grand sights like the
Renaissance age in Italy or the Holy
Land were showcased, its
underwater layout takes you to
tropical islands.
45
GAME
arkham
Origins
rkham series
rejuvenated Batman
in the gaming world
the same way
Christopher Nolan did in
Hollywood. Though
Rocksteady was spot on
with Arkham Asylum and
Arkham City, new game
maker Warner Bros has
taken the safe path and
retained the same
gameplay. Arkham
Origins is a prequel to
the series where the cape
crusader hasnt met
arch-nemesis Joker, is not
friends with Gordon yet
and the police find him a
nuisance rather than an
ally. Gotham Citys
underworld king is the
twisted Black Mask. Sick
and tired of the
meddlesome Batman, the
gangster has taken out a
$50,000 bounty on the
Dark Knights head and
the top eight assassins
The cape
crusader
is hunted
down by 8
deadly
assassins
and the
hunter
becomes
the
hunted...
Excitement
level:
01
11
Batman: Arkham
Origins withstood
competition from Grand
Theft Auto V and FIFA
14 to claim the number
one spot in its opening
week in the UK
Time to Bat
46
December 2013
On PC, PS3, Xbox 360
fhmindia fhmindia
fhmindia.com
FLASHBACK:
ARKHAM CITY
makes us feel like:
Those imaginary fights we

have where we beat up a
load of thugs with a series
of increasingly slick moves,
then rescue the girl. But
not the real fights where
we just grumble uselessly
for the entire night.
We loved: Batman,
having duffed up the Joker
in Arkham Asylum, was
obviously not involved in
the planning meeting
where a portion of
Arkham City is walled off
and filled with criminals.
Still, he loves punching
dudes, so in he goes. As
Batmans navigating a city,
rather than an asylum, his
cape comes into play so
you swoop moodily from
building to building like a
goth hang-glider. It looks
awesome in 3D, too, if you
can afford a 3D TV.
We didnt love:
Familiar
gameplay
The familiar free flow

movements and the
gadgets are similar to
the previous Arkham
series. It is still all about
fast paced attacks with
kick and punch combo
takedowns though. The
slow-mo final move on
your enemy is like
Mortal Kombats fatality,
which is a joy to watch.
You do end up wishing
that the action play had
fhmindia.com
some new options apart

from the typical block
punch combo that
becomes repetitive and
boring after a point.
Same old
graphics
Call them lazy or

sticking to the tried
andtested formula, but
Warner Bros have
retained the same
design and graphics
from Arkham City. No
doubt it looks good and
keeps you engrossed,
but you do wish you
could differentiate
between the two games.

The additions are so
minor that they dont
even stand out. The
Arkham series has
takenout a new title
every second year, so
itstime for them to
startplanning the next
game from a clean
slateand bring cutting
edge graphics that will
set it apart from the
restof the franchise.
So game developers,
please take some more
time indeveloping the
gameitself.
signing off
fhmindia fhmindia
Arkham Origins story

keeps things intact and
interesting. Yes, its a
rehashed version of
Arkham City, but the
multiplayer options
comes with an
interesting format of
three vs. three vs. two.
The teams are Banes
thugs, Jokers thugs, and
the dynamic duo of
Batman & Robin. Its a
game worth buying for
every Dark Knight fan as
it brings in good
gameplay and fairly
involving action.
Recommended food
and drink: Knuckle
sandwiches, obviously.
Excitement
level:
77
Who doesnt want to

be Batman?
Available on PC, PS3,
Xbox 360
Words: Arup Das
from all over the world

decide to cash in on this.
Catwoman is sexy, sassy

and lots of fun to control
complete with her own
set of stilletoed kill-moves
but you only get to
control her for around 10
percent of the game.
plays like: The
awesome combat of
Arkham Asylum taken to
its logical limit, coupled
with Just Cause 2-style
free-roaming.
December 2013
47
nba 2K14
GAME
The Path to Greatness might

not be the revolution we
hoped for, but the rest of the
game lives upto expectations.
12
F
irst and foremost, NBA 2K14 continues

to get the core basketball systems
almost spot-on, and thats the key to its
success. Unlike hoops sims from earlier
console generations, this one simply shows
no major weaknesses. Fast breaks are fun to
execute but not too common or exploitable,
and you can thank the tightened-up defense
for that. Perhaps a side effect of that
defensive upgrade is that goaltending is far
too prevalent on both ends of the floor. We
also saw an excessive amount of players on
both sides either stepping out of bounds or
catching a pass out of bounds in ways the
pros just wont do in real life.
48
December 2013
The first thing that jumps out at you is its

presentation. From the opening ceremony to
the signature player shooting, it nails the look
and feel of the NBA. Player faces are
uncanny and the real time promotions for
upcoming games are impressive. The
on-court action is just as smooth as the
visuals. 2K14 has made a return to stick
controls. Being able to perform all moves
from the stick takes some getting used to, but
once we nailed it down, we didnt want to use
buttons anymore. This years game focusses
heavily on LeBron with a dedicated mode
called LeBron: Path to Greatness. This sort
of career mode allows players to step into the
fhmindia fhmindia
shoes of James and decide whether to pursue

a stint in Miami or test free waters. The latter
is much more exciting, as it took us on a series
of trades with other teams, eventually leading
us back to Cleveland, where LeBron began
his career. Online modes including the
popular Association mode also make a
comeback.
There is enough to see and do in NBA
2K14 the sheer attention to detail and ease
of use is what really drew us in. It might not
be the only basketball game in town, but
NBA 2K14 is head and shoulders ahead of
just about any other sports game in the
market.
fhmindia.com
Words: Arup Das
Hot Game
Out Now
WWE
2k14
Come on, admit it, you
were dying to get your
hands on this title just
a little like us!
s much as we were glued to

the WWE while growing up as
kids, we dumped it like that fat
kid who doesnt drink when we got
older. Plus, there was this little thing
about fixing. But all that WWEbashing doesnt take into account the
splendid gaming experience this new
title brings. THQ has revamped the
game and made it more intuitive and
interesting. The title has a
breathtaking amount of content jam
packed into it with 144 superstars past
and present, stacks of match types
and modes, and an amazing create
mode. What really stands out though,
is the 30 Years of Wrestlemania
fhmindia.com
fhmindia fhmindia
December 2013
13
mode that takes players through

every key match of every single
Wrestlemania event a fantastic
enlightening trip down memory lane.
Beginning with its in-ring action, we
found that even after months away
from wrestling games, we were able
to execute every move without
missing a beat. Punches and kicks are
a tad faster tan the last one and most
reversals now automatically lead to a
move, making WWE 2K14 instantly
more fun than the reversal fest that
was WWE 13. WWE 2K14 has a fairly
deep cast as well. The roster is loaded
with current and past superstars,
some with multiple styles from
different eras like Triple H circa
WrestleMania 18 and The
Undertaker from WrestleMania 11,
complete with his iconic purple
gloves and striped tie. Turning away
from 30 Years of WrestleMania, we
found the rest of WWE 2K14 to be
largely the same as WWE 13, with a
few notable exceptions. The Creation
Suite includes an option to create
custom championship belts (yes!),
though they dont usually end up
looking as shiny and pretty like the
real-life belts in the game (no!).
WWE 2K14 is well worth it for
wrestling fans. The fluid
gameplay along with the 30
Years Of WrestleMania mode gives
you enough content that will
keep you coming back to take out
your would-be opponents both
offline and online.
49
FOOTBALLer
scan this page
to watch balotellis
mightiest goals
Mad Mario
Scoring impossible goals, crashing custom made
sports cars, being a party animal and dating
pornstars are the different strokes of Balotelli
50
December 2013
fhmindia fhmindia
fhmindia.com
14
Super
Mario
Balotelli is
controversial par
excellence
Volatile One
(Brawler)
Balotelli had a bust up with his
former boss and ex-Manchester
City manager Roberto Mancini
during training
(European Cup clash)

Former club mates Joe Hart and
Balotelli refuse to give an inch in
the European Championship
2012 quarter-finals
(Bulls eye)
After scoring against Liverpool,
Baloletti asks the English media
why is he always targeted and
severely criticised
(Fans favourite)
He may fight with his team
mates over who will take the free
kick but he is adored by the fans
because he scores when needed
fhmindia.com
e is a genuine match
winner but his antics
off field and on it
have made him an
unpredictable player. Can
Mario Balotelli live up to his
talent and be the worlds most
feared trigger man or will he
remain in page 3 rag? Lets
find out.
FHM: Everyone is talking
about you going back to the
English Premier League and
joining Chelsea. Any truth in
this as you had told the media
that you were treated unfairly
in England?
Balotelli: I have always said I
would find it hard to play for any
English team apart from
Manchester City but in football
you always have to say nothing is
impossible. Towards the end of
my time in England the press just
liked to write about Mario even
if it wasnt true what they were
writing it anyway. That is what
bothered me when people wrote
things that were not true but all
the English press wanted to do
was write about me.
FHM: You are one of the most
talented strikers in the world
but you are better known for
your controversies like burning
down your house or on the
field clash between you and
Roberto Mancini. Have you
now simmered down and well
settled in Milan?
Balotelli: I have been playing at
the top since I was a young age. I
was a young guy at Manchester
City and even younger when I
was at Inter. Like any young man
he takes time to mature just
when you are a professional
football player the world is looking
at you. I feel I have matured now
and just want to concentrate on
my football and being the best.
FHM: This season you joined
AC Milan, arch rivals of your
former club Inter Milan, did
you face hostility from the
fans?
Balotelli: I think the game has
changed not many players stay
at one club their whole career
anymore. Of course you are going
to get hostility in football and
that is fine. What I cant stand is
December 2013
51
FOOTBALLer
racism that is something
completely different. It is
something that there needs to be
a serious punishment for.
FHM: How do you think
English Premier League is
different from the Serie A and
which league, in your opinion,
is more demanding?
Balotelli: I think they are very
different. In England the
defenders are more physical so
that side of the game is tougher
but in Italy normally the setup of
the teams is a lot more defensive
so you have to find the space to
expose defenders. In England the
game is a lot more open.
FHM: If a genie asks you
which club would like to join
what would be your answer?
Balotelli: I am at a great club
now in Milan. The winning
tradition they have in Italy and in
Europe is among the best in the
world. It would not be right to
answer this question especially
when I am at one of the best clubs
in Europe already.
FHM: You have already
worked with Jose Mourinho
do you rate him higher
than Pep Guardiola and other
top coaches?
Balotelli: I can only comment on
coaches I have worked under
and Jose is the best in the world.
We didnt always share the perfect
relationship at Inter but now our
relationship is good and there is
mutual respect between us. He is
one of the most hungry and also
intelligent men in football. He
knows everything about the game
and he knows how to get
everything out of his players.
FHM: Who do you think should
win Ballon dor this year?
Balotelli: I think individually
Messi had the best season but
of course Bayern Munich
achieved very special things last
season in Germany and Europe. It
is an individual award though
and I dont see how anybody can
win it apart from Messi.
FHM: You started wearing a
t-shirt which read Why
Always Me, what was all that
about?
Balotelli: When I asked the kit man
at Manchester City to print it for me
I had no idea how big it would
become. It had more than one
meaning but really it meant why
are you always talking about me. In
the media there was a lot of stuff
52
December 2013
Balotelli is a regular A-lister party

goer and his entourage includes the
socialite princess Paris Hilton
written and a lot of it was not true. I

was asking them why always me?
FHM: Who do you think is the
worlds best player Lionel
Messi, Cristiano Ronaldo...or
Mario Balotelli?
Balotelli: I do have confidence in
my ability and believe I will be the
best player in the world but I have
to admit at the moment that Messi
is on another level to any player out
there. You have to respect all that he
has achieved and all that he has
done in the game.
FHM: Have you played/Visited
India?
Balotelli: I have never visited India
but I would like to. It looks like a
fhmindia fhmindia
Balotelli manages to rear-end a

stationary car and wreck his custom
made Audi R8 at Brescia, Italy
very interesting country and I

think it is important for as people
to visit other parts of the world and
experience new things. It helps us
grow as people to open our minds.
FHM: What are your
impressions of India from what
you read and see?
Balotelli: I know that football is
growing in India and Asia in general.
Of course in India cricket is the
number one sport for them and we
have to respect that is their national
game. It is exciting to see the game
develop though. Hopefully as more
youngsters start playing football in
India we might be able to see Indian
people come and play professionally
fhmindia.com
33
THE BIG FEATURE
THINGS TO
KNOW ABOUT
F1 IN 2014
ITS COLD
OUTSIDE
BUT ITS
HOT IN
HERE
WITH...
g
n
i
h
t
y
r
Eve ever
youll d!
nee
LONELY? GET A
DOG, WE TELL
YOU HOW
BRUCE
DICKINSONS
WAYS TO BEAT
RECESSION
(WITH METAL)
PLUS!
BALOTELLI ON
TAKING PUNCHES
BATTLE OF THE RED
PEPPER SAUCES
WHY DUBAI COPS
DESERVE A BRABUS,
THULLAS DONT
CHITRANGDA
Subscribe now at
shop.maxposure.in
VIRAT KOHLI ON
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The Rule
breaker
chitrangda singh
is not A kitchen GODDESS,

SHES NOT BEEN DELIVERING BACK TO BACK HITS, SHE IS MARRIED WITH A KID...BUT FOR
SOME GOD STRANGE REASON SHE IS STILL ONE OF FHMS MOST LUSTED-AFTER COVER GIRLS.
AND honey singhs latest muse

Words by
Kabeer Sharma
Photography by
munna s
Styling by
Aastha sharma from
the wardrobist
Hair and Make Up
mehak oberoi
54
December 2013
fhmindia fhmindia
fhmindia.com
c h i t r a n g d a S INGH
Words by
Kabeer Sharma
Photography by
Nino Munoz
Styling by
Amy Beth Berlin
Hair
Andy Lecompte
Make Up
Kathy Jeung
he last time Mrs Singh made

it to the FHM cover, a
cinema hack had been
penning newsprint equivalent of letters
written in blood taking her career
choices as personal setbacks. This
time, Honey Singh is penning
Punjabi-rap/pop songs serenading her
eyes hes changed their colour to
blue to avoid being too accurate
(arguably). Id like to see it as a
compliment, I mean he makes good
music, but why is it called Blue Eyes, I
dont have blue eyes, she laughs. I
actually went and heard the whole
song and the woman he is describing is
nothing like me. She should take it as
a compliment that the song has
managed to net 8.1 million hits on
YouTube in the last two weeks.
So what about Mrs Singh drives men
borderline insane despite her marriage of
12 years and a kid of five years? Its definitely
not the Mrs Robinson syndrome because
she is nowhere even close to being there.
Except maybe the saucy, tanned to
perfection bit. Mrs Singh is now in the best
shape of her life and far from averse to
showing it off. For a country thats fancied
married women but never publically
admitted it, Chitrangda has been a blatant,
in-your-face exception. Plus, she has a
strange knack of being current the latest
following the molestation charges against
Tarun Tejpal, which her movie Inqaar has
become the go-to cinematic reference for.
The country, or at least the hacks have
been constantly questioning her about
whether she is still married, almost like they
are sort of disappointed. She has
reciprocated by imagining smacking them in
the nose and at other times looking at her
own self in third person while answering
marital status related questions. Dont worry
I am not thinking about smacking you
And thats the thing about Chitrangda
she is fun and sexy but there is something
slightly intimidating about her. At a lot of
levels, she is exactly like the role she played
in Desi Boyz a hottie professor. Only shes
not playing a role, shes living it everyday.
In the last year, shes had just two movies out
I, Me aur Main and Inkaar, both were
average to below average performers at the
box office. Had it been anyone else, the
audiences would have written them off, but
shes enjoyed a rather long rope.
Her next movie with another man she is
obsessively asked about (Sudhir Mishra) is
Mehrunissa and it has gotten delayed, due
to which shes suddenly hopping between
towns telling people in one town to get fit for
Puma, launching a tablet in the next and
going to another to launch lady razors for
Gillette. But something somewhere has
changed, Chitrangda is suddenly, to put it
56
December 2013
mildly, a little more mainstream than she was

before. But when it comes to things like this
shoot, we dont really mind.
Im not sexually as bold as the pictures
Id never be seen in clothes like the ones I
wore for the FHM shoot, she laughs. True,
shes more of a jeans and t-shirt kind of a gal,
plus shed probably also not let people
picture her in the loo either, but thats beside
the point. Shes not addicted to selfies either,
which means unlike her compatriots she
doesnt use the loo for the real purposes it
was intended for. She likes shoots though,
she tells us, because they let her be things
shes not.
And whats the kind of a girl she is?
Actually shouldnt you be telling me what
sort of a girl I am? Its our second cover, you
should have learnt something by now, she
purses her lips and fake admonishes.
I think Im a little traditional, conservative,
inhibited I have to talk myself into doing
sexy pictures or scenes in movies, she
explains, and somewhere in there she also
confesses to finding women who are bold,
but in an inhibited, not in the face kind of a
way very attractive. Its of course another
matter that her chosen field understands
sexual subtlety as much as Sunny Leone.
And its not like she hasnt dabbled her toes
in it, she tried it with an item song in Joker
and then in Desi Boyz, but she seems done
with it, at least for now. Id have to think
really really hard to do an item song again,
she confesses. Her brand of sexuality is
closer to Inqaar than Desi Boyz. This of
course is a matter of national shame,
considering between her washboard
stomach, her shaped derriere and the
cascading tresses, she is in the best shape of
her life right now. I have grown up being
obsessed with Shaolin movies, so when I was
told of a trainer whod been to the Shaolin
temple, I jumped. She continues to be
obsessed with Kickboxing and Muay Thai,
practicing them at least twice a week. Its
tough of course, between constantly
hopping from Mumbai to Delhi, but she is
managing, even though she confesses
sometimes it gets disorienting. Dont
worry, I deal with being disoriented
quite well.
We ask her if she wants to take a break, go
to a beach, grab a cocktail and settle for as
much sexual subtlety as a bikini provides and
she laughs. Actually with Mehrunissa being
delayed, it already feels like a vacationI just
want to get back to work. Even New Years
Eve is going to be spent at home catching
up with family. Plus of course, Indians stare
too much at women in bikinis right? Maybe
because they havent seen too many girls in
bikinis, its almost like how people in villages
react to seeing women in jeans
Her favourite beach holiday was in Bali
last year, when she went scuba diving,
fhmindia fhmindia
Bodysuit: Amit
Aggarwal
Shoes: Hermes
58
December 2013
fhmindia fhmindia
fhmindia.com
scan this page to

see Honey singhs
blue eyes, inspired
by chitrangda
Crop Top: Namrata

Joshipura; Sequin high
waisted shorts: Emilio Pucci;
Ring: Manish Arora for
Amrapali Jewels; Shoes:
Christian Dior;
Boots: Emilio Pucci
fhmindia.com
fhmindia fhmindia
December 2013
59
cycled, walked, drank some good

wine at a new shack every night and
just vegetated in a bikini. It was
almost out of Eat, Pray, Love, she
confesses. Minus the picking up a
younger lover bit, of course.
In case you read that and said
aha, youve finally figured out a
way in with her by showing-off your
intricate knowledge of chick-lit in
varying degrees of being
transformed into cinema youd be
wrong. I couldnt even get halfway
through 50 Shades of Gray, she
says culling any and all BDSM
related conversation. Its not like
youd go through with it with her
anyways, but yeah nothing bad ever
came out of pretending. Shes a
Dan Brown fan though, she says
offering up an olive branch Ive
got Inferno on my bedside and just
not started it yetits a really fat
one. I like books that are part fact
and part fiction.
Somehow the conversation drifts
to crazy fans, she doesnt have too
many, its just the usual blocking
cellphone numbers by the 100s on
Whatsapp and boys constantly

hanging outside her apartment in
Mumbai. No letters in blood
though, not yet anyway.
By then shes moved on, shes
talking, or rather complaining about
not having found the time to
download any TV shows. She has a
long list Why dont you do it?
We promise we will, as long as she
lets us add our recommendations to
the mix which of course means
Breaking Bad, Mad Men, Suits and
the Holy Grail Californication.
As remuneration, she offers a
salad. I can do dips, salads, maybe
a grilled fish? she offers. Youd
laugh if I told you what all I can
cook. Shes right, we do laugh. But
we dont really mind.
Theres something about
Chitrangda that makes her sex
appeal a constant beer time
conversation, independent of her
lack of cooking prowess, her
cinematic choices, her marital status
or even her item songs. And for
some strange inexplicable reason,
we really do love her.
i am not sexually
as bold
as the pictures... id never be seen in clothes like the ones
i wore for the fhm shoot.
Orchid print dress :

Saloni; Shoes: Christian
Dior; Necklace wrapped
around the hand: Valliyan
by Nitya Arora
F1 Racin
THE
too tall,
too fat
Weighty issues
With the increase in
weight of the F1 car in
2014, the drivers have
to weigh between 60kg
to 65kg. Is this the end
of the road for tall
racers like Button
and Hulkenberg?
for f1
Exclusive expose on page 67
ng Times
Paddock
access to
kimi and
Mercedes
Rosberg
Kimi Raikkonen proves why he

is called The Iceman. While
Nico Rosberg rues about
missing Kings of Leon.
Changing t
The 2014 season will see a radical change in
regulations, for a change most of the teams are
doing celebratory cart wheels. Just Red Bull
isnt. Find out why.
Words: Arup Das
The low nose that we have next

year is I think there could be some
fairly awkward-looking aesthetics
arriving. ...Red Bull chief technical officer Adrian Newey
speed junkies
times
01
Radical change
in
car design?
While the jury is still out on how the
Apart from
the fairly awkardlooking front nose in
the 2014 cars, expect
most of the changes
hidden under the
monocoque body
cars might look next and whether

there will be any significant change in
terms of appearance, a nose job is
definitely on the cards as the new rules
state that the nose on the car can now
be no higher than 20cm (previously
5.5cm). So will this make them look
uglier? At a press conference at the
Circuit of the Americas, Red Bull chief
technical officer Adrian Newey said,
The low nose that we have next year
is I think there could be some fairly
awkward-looking aesthetics arriving.
But Ferraris technical director James
Allison made a valid point, I think as a
technical team we really have a duty
to try and make the thing quick rather
than make it beautiful. Also teams
have to do away with exhaust pipes, as
it will be mandatory for them to have
a single tailpipe, which has to be
angled upwards so that they dont
gain any aerodynamic advantage.
02
change of guard
Daniel ricciardo
Current: Toro Rosso

new team: Red Bull
Replaces: Mark Webber
felipe massa
Current: ferrari
new team: williamsl
Replaces: pastor M
kimi raikkonen
Current: Lotus
new team: Ferrari
Replaces: Felipe massa
Daniil Kvyat
Current: GP3 series

new team: Toro Rosso
Replaces: daniel ricciardo
66
December 2013
03
New
100kg
fuel cap
rule
fhmindia fhmindia
Fuel efficiency has entered the F1

world, as 2014 will introduce a cap
of 100kg of fuel in a race. There
has never been a limit before and
its understood that around 160kg
of fuel is used per race. Ferraris
head of engines Luca Marmorini
shot down the new rule and said,
Ferrari feels this could be a
danger. We would like Formula
One to consider efficiency, but
we dont like F1 to be a sport
where you are cruising for 50% of
the laps. Renault F1s technical
director Naoki Tokunaga has
downplayed this theory and said it
is all about more diverse
strategies. He added there will not
be more fuel run outs than there
are today.
fhmindia.com
04
speed junkies
thinner,
shorter
drivers
The significant
change is the new
1.6-litre V6 engine,
which will replace
the 2.4-litre V8
engine. As the V6
has a bigger
turbocharger
assembly that
makes this new unit
heavier and as a
result adds more
weight to the car
body, the current
642kg will go up to
690kg. To
compensate, the
drivers ideal weight
has to be in the
region of 60kg to 65
kg. This is a major
problem for tall
drivers like
McLarens Jenson
Button and Saubers
Nico Hulkenberg.
Martin Whitmarsh,
the McLaren team
principal, has called
upon Formula One to
ditch its self-serving
interest when it
comes to the debate
over driver weight
for next season. The

suggestion is that
taller and heavier
drivers could be
putting their health
on the line to meet
these new
regulations. The
situation weve got is
not good as theres
been an increase in
the weight limit, but
it isnt enough, said
Whitmarsh. Its a
disadvantage to
some drivers and
teams in terms of
having to have the
resources to design
it down to the new
weight, but it costs
more money, he
added.
This sport has
always forced the
drivers to push their
limits as veteran
driver David
Coulthard revealed
in his autobiography
in 2007 that he
suffered from
bulimia in an effort
to control his weight.
05
ERS
TO REPLACE KERS
The idea of using a small powered
engine has been panned, but F1 will live
up to its reputation thanks to the
Energy Recovery System, which
captures waste heat dispelled from the
exhaust turbocharger, using an
electrical device known as a Heat
Motor Generator Unit. The waste heat
is stored as an electrical charge until it is
utilised by Kinetic Motor Generator
Unit. This device is connected to the
drive train to deliver the additional
power in the most efficient way. It will
generate 160bhp for 33 secs per lap.
fhmindia.com
fhmindia fhmindia
December 2013
67
F1
2013
raikkonen
speed junkies
In the politically correct
Formula One world with back
room politics and bitching,
Kimi Raikkonen stands out as
an odd ball. While drivers are
busy smooching their new
2014 teams tail pipes and
proclaiming it to be a dream
come true moment, the
Iceman simply explains why
he will join Ferrari next year,
I am leaving Lotus because
of money troubles. They
havent paid my salary. The
Finn is known for his gifted
talent and his I dont give a
damn attitude. FHM digs
out his tough to get but
famous quotes.
On whether he has ever
got angry and jumped up
and down and shouted:
Kimi Raikkonen: Yeah,
many times. Of course,
youre not happy if you
retire or something, but I
guess it happens more in
normal life than in racing.
FHM: On the kinds of
things that get him
angry:
Kimi Raikkonen: If you
keep asking me questions
like these, youll see for
yourself.
On the most exciting
moment during a race
weekend:
Kimi Raikkonen: I think
its the race start, always.
On the most boring
moment:
Kimi Raikkonen: Right
now, indulging in plenty of
plain talk.
On what he does the
night before the race:
Kimi Raikkonen: I sleep!
On his helmet rituals
fhmindia.com
fhmindia fhmindia
Kimi Raikkonen: It
protects my head.
On whats on his iPod:
Kimi Raikkonen: Mostly
Finnish music, all sorts. You
wouldnt know it, so it
doesnt matter what I say.
FHM: On his hobbies?
Kimi Raikkonen: I collect
walnuts.
FHM: On missing the
presentation by Pele...
Kimi Raikkonen: Yes. I
was having a shit.
FHM: On whats the 5th
grid place like?
Kimi Raikkonen: Its the
5th grid place.
On how does it feel to
drive at 300 kmph?
Kimi Raikkonen: It feels
normal.
On what does one have
to do to become one of
his friends?
Kimi Raikkonen: Ive
gotmy friends and
thatsenough. Im not
onthelookout for
new ones.
December 2013
69
speed junkies
NICO ROSBERG
The Mercedes GP driver rose to
the ranks of Formula One in
2006, won his first race in China
in 2012 and finished second in
2013 Indian GP. FHM met the
German behind the wheel to talk
aerodynamics, music and nuts!
Words: Anoushka Christy
FHM: What did it feel like the

first time you sat in a F1 car?
Nico Rosberg: At the time, I was
driving a car that had 160
horsepower, like a Formula Ford
car, so to go from that to an F1 car
that had 920 horsepower was
crazy! It was so fast, like going into
a rocket. It was unbelievable and
the problem was that it was so fast
and I was so small and young that
I didnt physically have the
strength to drive the car as fast as
I could because the G-force was
throwing me into the corner of the
seat and I couldnt see where I was
going.
FHM: When you go from an F1
car to a road car, does it feel
like youre travelling in slow
motion?
Nico Rosberg: It doesnt feel
strange or anything because its so
different. I have a lot of respect
for the F1 machines.
FHM: What is the craziest
thing youve ever done in a
car?
Nico Rosberg: I like to play with
the car in the countryside. On a
lake in Lapland last winter, we
built a track on a lake and did
some rallying there it was fun
and I competed against my dad.
Theres a video of it on YouTube
actually.
FHM: Who would win in a race

between you and your Dad at
his peak?
Nico Rosberg: I dont want to
compare. All Ill say is that it would
be a good battle between us. I
wouldnt like to say who would
win...
FHM: How did your mother
feel about you taking up motor
racing?
Nico Rosberg: She gets scared
when Im in the car, so shes never
seen a race of mine. I think its
worse if its your son racing rather
than your husband. My dad never
comes either. I think its a good
thing and a wise decision for him
fhmindia.com
to stay away and let me do my

thing. Its cool.
FHM: When youre going
around your home-town, do
you get recognised?
Nico Rosberg: Well, I live in
Monaco, so I do get recognised
but its very relaxed and very nice.
I like it there.
FHM: When you visit other
places and get recognised, how
do you handle the attention?
Nico Rosberg: Sometimes its
nice and Im happy to give things
back to people if theyre excited
about the sport, but in general, if I
had a choice, Id prefer to not be
recognised. It can be more
annoying than good,
unfortunately. Though at this
point, for me, its not a lot. Its
much tougher for someone like
my old teammate Michael
Schumacher.
FHM: What was it like having
Schumacher as a teammate?
Nico Rosberg: It was a very
interesting experience. Its obvious
why hes won seven World titles
and done a very good job. It was
also very challenging to try and
beat him. The bar was very high,
but Im happy that I still managed
to be competitive with him.
FHM: Is it true that you were
go-karting with Schumacher
when you were 15?

Nico Rosberg: Yes, it was the
World Championship! I came 3rd
and Schumacher came 2nd. If we
raced go-karts now, I dont know
who would win. Id hope me! I was
top of my game at 15 though, so
its not like Id be better now.
FHM: Do you have people in
the paddock you would call
friends?
Nico Rosberg: I dont have
friends in the paddock. I get on
well with people but I dont call
them friends. A lot of my friends
are from school and I was very
lucky to have a very cool group of
friends back then, so were still all
My mother gets scared

when Im in the car, so
shes never seen a race
of mine.
fhmindia fhmindia
December 2013
71
speed junkies
Alonso can
crack nuts with
his neck and he is
also a magician.
in touch 10 years on and they still
come to my races.
FHM: Do you like motorcycles?
Nico Rosberg: I like them, but I
dont go on motorbikes because I
dont like taking the risk. I think
theyre very dangerous for me, as
I know that if I go on a motorcycle
I would want to go fast, so I stay
away. But what I do like a lot is
Motorcross in the mountains its
more about endurance and thats
fun. I dont do it for the exercise,
just for fun.
FHM: You were offered a place
at Londons Imperial College
to study aerodynamics, but
you chose racing. Why?
Nico Rosberg: Because this is a
lot more fun, more cool and way
more exciting. Aerodynamics is
the most important part of
building an F1 car though. The
guy doing aerodynamics is the
one deciding how fast the car is
72
December 2013
really gonna go. And you can

build a rocket ship, or an
aeroplane, or whatever.
FHM: Whats your favourite
track?
Nico Rosberg: My favourite
track is probably Malaysia. It has a
nice flow and a variety of corners.
FHM: Is it the toughest circuit
too?
Nico Rosberg: Yes, because of
the climate. Physically, the
toughest circuit is Singapore. The
hardest to drive is probably
Monaco, its very challenging.
FHM: Whats your favourite
country to race in?
Nico Rosberg: Italy, because I
really like the way the people are.
Its the people I get on with best
a lot of my friends are Italian
and I speak Italian.
FHM: Before a race, do you
ever use music to get fired up?
Nico Rosberg: I used to, but now
fhmindia fhmindia
fhmindia.com
not so much. Before a race it

would be something like U2s
Beautiful Day thats a cool track
to get the right feeling.
FHM: Who was the last band
you saw live?
Nico Rosberg: That was a long
time ago. I had the opportunity to
attend Kings Of Leon concert in
Abu Dhabi during the grand prix
weekend. I was just too lazy to go.
But we ended up listening to them
in the hotel room.
FHM: Do you use social
media?
Nico Rosberg: Of course I do like
Facebook and Twitter. My Twitter
account is just me, I was trying to
figure out the best way of saying
Im a Mercedes GP driver without
actually putting I am the Mercedes
GP driver, so I said it was linked
to, but its not actually linked in any
way, its just me.
FHM: In a race, you have to
remember around 20 corners
very well. Hows your memory
with day to day stuff? Can you
memorise a shopping list?
Nico Rosberg: Its not great. It
isgood, but its something thats
important to have for racing
because when you drive and you
come back to the pits you need
totell the engineers everything
you experienced out there whilst
youre absolutely concentrating
ondriving well. You need a
goodmemory to take in
everything thats happening and
thats a very challenging part.
When you come in, you have to
fhmindia.com
know everything and remember

everything.
FHM: So when you go back to
everyday life, do you just relax
your brain as well?
Nico Rosberg: No. In fact, I even
train it sometimes. I play Memory
whilst training.
FHM: What was the last movie
you saw?
Nico Rosberg: The Fighter. I like
Christian Bale. Hes amazing,
though I didnt like the particular
movie. All my friends said it would
be amazing but I didnt think it
was that great. Its okay, but I like
Christian Bale in Batman. In my
opinion, his performance was
outstanding.
FHM: What about your
favourite beer?
Nico Rosberg: Alcohol free beer!
Its the best drink after sports as it
has all the minerals to rehydrate
your body. I do drink sometimes
when I go out though
FHM: What are the usual
suspects in your fridge?
Nico Rosberg: Yoghurt, eggs,
lots of veggies, lots of fruit, very
healthy. I do order takeaway,
sometimes. Not too often. For
breakfast, I have either fruit
and cereals, or eggs on toast.
FHM: Do you have a party
trick?
Nico Rosberg: No. Fernando
Alonso (Ferrari driver) can
apparently crack nuts with his
neck. Hes a magician too, so you
need to be very careful around
the Spaniard.
fhmindia fhmindia
December 2013
73
(ER, YEP, ITS

BRUCE DICKINSON
FROM IRON MAIDEN)
Think the economy is tanking? FHM
and one heavy metal god beg to differ
Joe Mackertich
Will Bremridge
Almost
one year
ago, Britain
manufactured
its last ever
typewriter.
The machine, a Brother CM-1000,
came off the production line in
November, was given to a museum for
safe-keeping and that was
that. For many, the sound of the
Wrexham factorys metal gates
clanging shut for the final time was
also the sound of the last nail being
driven into the coffin of British
industry. It was official, the experts
announced: Britain was no longer
a country that built things.
Its now 11 months later and
a lot of those same experts are going
quiet. New studies have shown that
while the economy is still a long way
from rallying (unemployment hovers at
around 7.8%), there are reasons to be
cheerful. Chief among these reasons?
Were making stuff again.
You read that right. Britain still
makes stuff. And its good stuff,
too. The sort of stuff everyone
from newly minted young families in
the suburbs of Shanghai to elite
European militaries want to own.
In September, global financial boffins
were stunned to discover the UK
economy had been given a totally
unexpected shot in the arm, after the
British manufacturing sector expanded
sizably for its fifth consecutive month.
The short of it: our countrys output is
rising at its fastest rate for almost 20
years.
FHM decided to pay a visit to a man
whose never-say-die spirit and
entrepreneurial attitude is helping
reignite the touch paper of British
industry. Situated by the mouth
of the River Severn, surrounded
76
December 2013
by 6,000 ft of immaculate runway and

housed inside two enormous hangars is
yes, that bruce

Cardiff Aviation Limited the aircraft
business set up last year by one Bruce
Dickinson. The Bruce Dickinson most
famous for fronting legendary heavy
metal outfit Iron Maiden for the best
part of 30 years.
And why not? It seems sort of fitting
that in this period of uncertainty and
economic turmoil, it should be a guy
like Bruce that rushes to Britains aid.
His on-stage persona is not a million
miles away from a denim and leatherclad Michael Palin, a swashbuckling
storyteller thrilling the world with
exceedingly British tales of high
adventure featuring fighter pilots,
cowboys and cavalry charges.
He also bloody loves planes. The son
of an engineer, Bruce became
a qualified commercial pilot in 1998.
Since then hes used his proverbial
wings to rescue stranded holidaymakers in Egypt and Lebanon, retrieve
British RAF pilots from Afghanistan
fhmindia fhmindia
and ferry football teams including

Liverpool to matches in Europe.
Thats right while most off-duty
rockstars are happy to cultivate a
paunch and wait for the royalties to
roll in, Bruce Dickinson (a man who
has played thousands of gigs and sold
bajillions of records) went and got
himself a day job.
We meet the main man on a sunny
Welsh afternoon for a tour of his
businesss base of operations. He
appears remarkably chipper for a
55-year-old who, just 14 hours
previously, was screaming his heart
out in front of 25,000 people in
Zagreb, Croatia.
I dont know whether theres
a bit of OCD or whatever but when
I get stuck into something, I get
obsessive, he says when we ask him
about his work rate (apart from
singing and flying, Bruce is also
an Olympic-level fencer, broadcaster
and published novelist). Every waking
hour Im thinking, OK, I am going to
sort this out, I am going to master
this. Its wanting to get it.
Cardiff Aviation, launched in May
last year, is Bruces attempt to get
fhmindia.com
Bruce dickinson in his

aeronautical element.
We want him to be our dad
the business world. The goal is for the

company to become a bustling
one-stop shop for all your aircraft
needs. Repairing, building and
servicing parts, training pilots and
chartering flights if all goes to plan,
its CV is going to look as busy as the
man who founded it.
He walks us through the hangars,
each one big enough to house a couple
of Boeing 737s and still have room to
spare. Towers of electric-blue
scaffolding lend the interiors a
distinctly space-age feel. Engines the
size of vans are wheeled out as
engineers potter about, tinkering with
When I get
stuck into
something,
im obsessive
fhmindia.com
the underside of a freshly painted

fuselage. Each time Bruce enters the
orbit of a large piece of equipment, his
face lights up. Hes not so much a kid
in a sweet shop as the kid who owns
the sweet shop. And the sweet factory.
Look at these, he says, running up
to a set of heavy-duty machines that
look like something Arnold
Schwarzenegger might get crushed by
at the end of The Terminator. These
things were used to build motorbikes.
Can you believe they wanted to get rid
of them? The hangars all 132,000
square feet of them are full of
aeronautical odds and ends. Its a
ginormous inventors workshop, but
one that could shortly end up
employing around 1,000 people.
When they announced plans to open
this place, everyone in Cardiff with an
engineering background got excited, says
Jen, who works at the facility. She admits
that when she went to the job interview,
shed never even heard of Bruce
Dickinson, although her male friends
went berserk with envy when they found
out. They want me to get him to sign
stuff for them. But that seems like a
weird thing to ask my boss to do.
fhmindia fhmindia
So what does this grizzled veteran of

the heavy metal world make of
Britains re-emergence as a player on
the global manufacturing scene? Is the
future all blue skies and plain sailing,
or do the next generation of
businessmen and entrepreneurs have a
nasty patch of turbulence coming their
way to be a trading nation, declares
Bruce, sitting down in a conference
room. An inventive trading nation. A
stunning percentage of the inventions
developed in Japan and Korea are of UK
Its in our dna

origin. We think outside the box
because were a nation of eccentrics.
We dont see the world in the same
way other people do. Its rooted in our
culture, our humour, in Shakespeare.
Thats all well and good, but
perhaps if we were less eccentric wed
still be the ones making everything,
not just inventing?
We still do make a lot of things, he
argues. Cars especially. Jaguar Land
Rover just invested billions in a new
engine plant. Aston Martin and
December 2013
77
As if running a business, singing in a band

and flying planes wasnt enough, Bruce has
also turned his hand to brewing. Weve tried
Trooper Beer (and then we tried it again, just
to be sure) and its head-bangingly delicious.
Far Right: True heavy

metal maniacs will
know that Bruce
very rarely throws
the horns. Were
special, obviously
Bentley are hugely successful car

manufacturers. Sure, theyre not
owned by British people any more. But
British craftsmanship is whats being
used. About 80% of F1 teams are based
in the UK, and all their engineers are
British, too.
The idea of our country not being
the steel-bashing workshop of the
world but, instead, a specialised
manufacturer of high-quality goods, is
one that is slowly catching on. Julie
Deane, founder of the Cambridge
Satchel Company, whose leather
satchels you might have seen in a
recent Google Chrome ad, has said as
much in the past. There is now an
awareness of UK-based production that
appeals to our customers as a mark of
integrity and quality, she says.
According to Richard Holt, economist
at Capital Economics, this is even more
true when the company isnt actually
British-owned. Individual brands such
as Jaguar do carry weight, he tells
FHM. These are brands partly sold on
Britishness. If customers start to feel
that the Britishness is faked, sales
could suffer. At times that the
78
December 2013
mild-mannered middle-aged man

currently talking to us in very
its hard to believe

businesslike terms about profit
margins is one and the same as the
rock colossus who has laid waste to
sold-out arenas in places as far-flung as
Jakarta and Rio De Janeiro. Yet every
now and then, when he gets animated,
you catch a glimpse of the other guy.
His stance becomes lively and a bit
theatrical. The voice takes on a
booming, room-filling quality. It all
serves as a reminder: unlike his
colleagues, when this guys finished
approving budgeting documents, he
doesn't drive home, open a Stella and
fall asleep in front of Coronation
Street. No, he picks up a microphone
and belts out the chorus to Fear Of The
Dark in front of tens of thousands of
rabid fans.
One topic gets him more animated
than any other: the idea that Britains
become so stuck in its ways, the
system has forgotten how to support
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people who could really make a

difference. The civil service in this
country is institutionally prejudiced
against entrepreneurs, he sighs.
Theres no sense of urgency. People
want to arrange meetings to arrange
more meetings. I just want to get
stuff done! If were going to make it so
hard for people to accomplish
things, we might as well all move to
fucking China.
We ask if Bruce has had to put up
with much bureaucratic time-wasting
in the last year and he bursts out
laughing. Oh, right, let me think how
many pieces of legislation keep being
dropped on us every five minutes.
Endless forms to fill in. He stops midflow, suddenly very serious. Were
lucky. We have money in the bank. But
if we didnt... do you know how
difficult it is to get a loan now? Its
tragic when you think about how
many people have probably been put
off doing something because of the
hoops you have to jump through to get
banks to lend you money. On the
other side of the runway, a tall
chain-link fence topped with barbed
fhmindia.com
a dig at Bruces solo

artist performance
Tattoed Millionaire 1980
Bruce started his first solo album
project when he was approached
to to record a song for A
Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The
Dream Child. With this album,
Dickinson began creating a solo
album which was fundamentally
different from his works with Iron
Maiden. The album peaked at
number 14 on the UK charts.
People are always

having meetings.
i just want to
get stuff done!
wire marks out the perimeter of an
SAS support group training facility.
The crack of their rifles is drowned by
the engines of a Chinook helicopter
flying overhead.
We should be telling young people,
Go away and think up a crazy idea
and dont let anybody tell you its not
going to work, he says, watching the
Chinook wheel around and fly off into
the distance. Banks are meant to be
helping normal people achieve their
goals and build businesses. And weve
lost that. If we want to capitalise on
the truth is,

the potential for manufacturing in
Britain, well need more individuals
like Bruce willing to inject their own
time, money and enthusiasm into
kickstarting British industry, even
when it feels like the system is
working against them. Tony Boylan of
stillmadeinbritain.co.uk is adamant
there is a demand for things
manufactured here. Theres more and
more of a demand for the Made in the
fhmindia.com
UK label, especially when it comes to

clothes, he says. The big issue is the
lack of trained personnel. We need
more skilled professionals in this
country. But no ones training anyone.
Holts concern is that our
government's inability to recognise
opportunity may have already cost us
dearly. Look at graphene, he says.
The new wonder material as thin as
clingfilm but tougher than steel. It was
developed at the University of
Manchester, but will it be exploited
here? The Chinese have taken out
2,204 patents on graphene
products. In the UK, weve taken
out 54. Its worrying.
Meanwhile, Bruce and his team
will continue to plug away at making
Cardiff Aviation a barn-storming
21st-century success story. You have
to have the balls to go out and make big
decisions, he says.
Its just down to the type of person
you are whether when you were
beaten up in the playground, you
turned around to the bully and
said, Fuck you you didnt hit
me hard enough, you cunt.
fhmindia fhmindia
Balls to Picasso 1994

Bruces second effort on his solo
career after he officialy left Iron
Maiden. This record marked
the beginning of Dickinsons
collaborations with Roy Z, who
would work on many of
Dickinsons later albums. The
album garnered mild response.
Skunkworks 1996
Originally, Bruce intended for
Skunkworks to be the debut album
of a band by the same name.
However, his label did not want to
publish the record under any other
name than Bruce Dickinson. The
album was further moved away
from Iron Maidens progressive rock
prowess to alternative rock sound.
Accident of Birth 1997
This album saw Bruces
collaboration with guitarist/
producer Roy Z again. He was
also assisted by another former
Iron Maiden member Adrian
Smith and the two would later
return to the band in early 1999.
The Chemical Wedding 1998
The record drew some inspiration
from the works of William Blake,
featuring sung and spoken
excerpts of his prophetic works
and poetry. As with the previous
album, it featured Iron Maiden
guitarist Adrian Smith, then a
member of Dickinsons solo outfit.
Tyranny of Souls 2005
The songwriting on the album was
split between Roy Z and
Dickinson. During composition,
Roy sent recordings of riffs to
Dickinson, who was on tour with
Iron Maiden. Dickinson
subsequently wrote lyrics and
melodies. Roy also served as the
albums producer and played all
guitar parts.
December 2013
79
Mel Clarke, 22, Kent
Marley Kate
Love
AT
WORK
Your office used to just be

somewhere you
went to while away the hours
nine through five. Then she
joined, and now your day is spent
staring at the back of her lovely
head. FHM is
on hand to help ignite your
office romance
Dr Sandra Wheatley
With 20 years
experience as
a psychologist,
Dr Sandra knows
what your
mannerisms, clothes
and lunchbox say
about you.
Even if you dont.
fhmindia.com
Tara Daynes
Human resources
(HR) expert Tara
knows so much
about the world
of employment,
she could probably
get the Queen
fired if she put her
mind to it.
fhmindia fhmindia
Daniel Sloss
FHMs funnymanat-large. Really
enjoys the
company of women.
Check danielsloss.
com for details
of his brilliant
stand-up comedy
tour in Britain
December 2013
81
Love
AT
WORK
True
story!
IM AN
OFFICESEX
ADDICT
Youre in the kitchen

with her
Its time to break some goddamn ice. No
prizes for guessing how to do it. If you
can make someone laugh you will have
their attention, says Dr Wheatley.
Humour gives you an opportunity to
make eye contact because when were
laughing, we often look right at people.
But what to say? Talk about a stupid
thing that happened to you that
morning, says Daniel. Like: Ill never
learn to wash the spoon face down under
the tap. It invites a response, so shell be
involved in a conversation with you
before she even knows it.
82
December 2013
She keeps mentioning her

boyfriend
Every time you find yourself in a one-onone situation with your workplace crush,
she brings up some bloke she insists on
referring to as her boyfriend. All hope
lost? Dont be so sure, says Dr Wheatley.
She could be playing games. There is a
school of thought among some women
that says youve got to have a man to get a
man. When somebody mentions their
partner a lot, it doesnt necessarily
mean that theyre not interested in you.
It can be a way of demonstrating that
theyre not an emotional leper
somebody finds them attractive.
fhmindia fhmindia
Sophie, 29, Manchester

Rich worked in a different
department, but we were
always flirting in the pub
after work. Starting with a bit
of banter over instant
messenger, we found
ourselves out on a Friday
night. There was sambuca
involved and by the time we
left the pub it was 2am and
everyone else had bailed. We
stumbled back to the office,
hanging out at his desk,
playing YouTube clips and
eating crisps.
Suddenly he had this
smirk on his face. With one
hand cradling the side of my
neck, the other working its
way up my leg, he picked me
up and sat me on the desk.
Ive never been much of
an exhibitionist, so I was
more surprised than anyone
to find myself sat on a
keyboard with my knickers
around my ankles. I
remember scrambling around
for something to hold on to
and grabbing the phone as he
bent me over the desk. Then
he blew his load on to the
carpet. I couldnt believe it.
After that, it became a bit
of a hobby. Even if the
shagging is just missionary, it
makes me feel a bit wild. Its
the possibility of getting
caught, interspersed with
dirty work talk. Do you
reckon you could keep quiet
if I fucked you in here while
John sat in his office next
door? or, I feel sorry for the
next person that uses this
phone, as he rubs the handset
between my legs. This
happened months ago but
were still at it. It makes
boring days more bearable
when you think about all the
naughtiness.
fhmindia.com
Love
AT
WORK
Youre desperate to
confess your love
On the verge of fessing up
your feelings? Read this
next word very carefully:
dont. Never ever mention to
a girl youre not dating how
much you like them, says
Daniel. The second the
words leave your mouth, you
realise how creepy you
sound. Hey, I know this
might be slightly weird, but
I just wanted to let you
know You just wanted to let
her know? Why do we always
phrase it like that? Were
setting ourselves up to fail.
Youve realised
you have nothing
in common
So youve spent some quality

time with your crush. And
you now have this nagging
feeling she might not actually
be the girl of your dreams
after all. Dont worry its
normal. Offices are like
melting pots, says Dr
Wheatley. You have a lot of
shared experiences when you
work with someone, so
regardless of everything else
in your lives, it feels like you
have loads in common. You
can easily make the classic
error of mistaking proximity
for closeness. Its actually
very similar to the sexual
relationships that develop
between inmates in prison.
Hr
alert!
Youve been
caught in
the act
There is risk aplenty
here, warns Tara. Its best
to be discreet and resist the
temptation of the office sex
fantasy as the consequences
could be far worse than a
staple in the bottom. I know
one couple who were caught
in a compromising position
in a store cupboard at work
and were both sacked.
fhmindia.com
The others are muscling in

It was inevitable, really. The object of
your attention has become the focus of
all the gym-pumped alpha males in your
office. Guys always compete, says Dr
Wheatley. They dont love her like you
do, though. No one could. Displays of
dominance are no longer about size, says
Daniel. What women look for these days
is comfort, and that comes from laughter.
If some dude starts boasting about how
big he is, say, Wow, you do look strong.
Like someone shaved a bear and
gave it ecstasy.
True
story!
Youre all going for drinks

Resist the temptation to fob them all off
to hang out exclusively with her. Your
colleagues know you, says Dr Wheatley.
If you suddenly start acting differently
theyll notice and immediately start
ripping the piss out of you. Which is not
what you want. Daniel advises, Always
buy a round of drinks straight away. It
shows youre a nice guy. Then, because
everyones polite in office situations,
chances are everyone will be buying you
drinks for the rest of the night. So youll
seem popular too.
I SLEPT WITH MY BOSS

Rebecca, 28, Bristol
When I tell people I

slept with my boss, their
reaction consists of a
raised eyebrow and a look
that screams, A dirty old
man, eh? When I
say my boss was a
woman, the interest
levels go off the chart.
fhmindia fhmindia
Penny and I were

working at an advertising
agency. Even though she
was 10 years older, we had
lots in common.
It was quite natural.
Our team were out
drinking and Penny and I
shared a taxi. The
conversation took a horny

turn and we ended up
snogging.
The sex was great. My
blouse ripped I still
grin when I think about
that. We agreed it was a
one-off. I still think about
her, though.
December 2013
83
True
story!
Love
AT
WORK
I SLEPT
WITH
THE
INTERN
Miles, 33, London

Ill never forget the morning I
walked into the office and saw
Emily. She was sitting behind her
desk, smiling sweetly. I was hooked
instantly I wanted her badly. And
then I realised she was our new
intern. Bugger.
I was given the task of showing
her the ropes and it was obvious
there was an attraction between
us. This was confirmed after drinks
the next week, when she flirted
outrageously with me. All
thoughts of professionalism were
soon making a hasty retreat and
we snogged.
The following week, after
numerous suggestive emails, we
went to the pub again and were
soon all over each other. We went
back to the office and ended up
shagging on my desk. It was
without doubt one of the dirtiest
things Ive ever done.
We ended up going out
for a year. People used to laugh
when we told them how we got
together I think they thought Id
somehow taken advantage
of her. I know differently.
Sod it youre going

to make contact
Her hand brushes yours when you reach

for the stapler
certain its not an open
When she touches your
invitation to touch her
arm, it might as well be
back. Girls are allowed to
Christmas, says Daniel.
touch guys, says Daniel.
So if its happened a
Not us were horrible,
couple of times, does
sex-driven things. Never
this mean its on? Not
grab a girls arse unless
necessarily. It might
shes your girlfriend. Just
mean nothing some
dont. And if she hugs
people emphasise points
you, dont smell her hair.
by touching, says Dr
I know its tempting,
Wheatley. Or she might
because it smells like
be flirting to get her own
happiness. But its weird.
way. One things for
HOW TO
DRESS
FOR
WORK
84
December 2013
Dont agonise over what to

wear to impress the girl.
Style website
Individualisms Nigel
Ruwende has some tips
thatll make getting dressed
for work less of an ordeal
Touch her forearm for

emphasis while youre making a
point, says Dr Wheatley. The
way to do this without being
too over the top is to avoid eye
contact. That kind of body
language is the equivalent of
putting something in italics.
What youre looking for is the
shoulder melt their shoulders
might come up in surprise at
first, but theyll drop down if
they like chatting with you.
Ill-fitting is unflattering.
A lot of websites always
have offers on
multi-shirt buys. They
measure you up too, so
theyll fit like a glove. I
always stress that half
the battle is in the fit.
Your workwear arsenal

should be stocked with
pieces you can throw on
without thinking.
White and blue shirts,
a grey cardigan and a
navy crew-neck jumper
are all really versatile.
fhmindia fhmindia
You touchy
too muchy
H
ale r
rt!
An absolute HR
minefield, says Tara.
Remember that one
persons harmless flirting is
someone elses harassment
and, legally, the reaction of the
recipient trumps the intention
of the flirter. This is an easy
line to cross inadvertently, so
best avoid it altogether or
stick to brief touches in safe
areas such as arms. Steer clear
of bums and waists.
Trying too hard will

make you conscious
of your appearance,
which can make you
look uncomfortable.
Uncomfortable isnt
attractive. Dress
simply and well.
Never underestimate
the importance of
smelling good. Fresh
and clean fragrances like
Davidoff Cool
Water or Shay & Blue
Sicilian Limes are great
for everyday wear.
fhmindia.com
Love
AT
WORK
You think youre subtle.

You think your glances
are discreet. The truth
is everyone, including the
cleaner, is on to you.
You cant walk
Walking is a piece of piss.

Youve been doing it for
ages. However, when you
have to go past her desk,
your limbs become a
nigh-on impossible
challenge. Just what the
hell are you meant to do
with your arms anyway?
She catches you staring at her
You didnt mean to look at

her in such an intense
some might say
psychopathic way. Its just
your eyes have to rest
somewhere, dont they?
And they just happened to
rest on her beautiful,
flawless face.
You drink 100

cups of tea a day
Youve started making tea

every eight minutes on the
off chance she might be in
the kitchen. Unfortunately,
youve ingested so
much caffeine, you make
as much sense as Ram
Gopal Varma.
Shes sent you a

pointless message
Her name lights up your
inbox out of the blue. What
do you do? Reply
immediately or slave away at
a witty response for the
next three hours? Keep it
simple and light-hearted,
says Dr Wheatley. Often,
when youre being
spontaneous, you reveal
more of who you truly are,
which is a good thing.
Daniel adds, Just dont be
the guy who turns
everything into sexual
innuendo. Ive been that guy.
The first two times its cute.
The next 50 times its
creepy.
Hr t!
aler
The Man is spying

on your emails
If emails are sent using the
companys system, then any
messages are the companys
intellectual property and can
always be accessed by the
IT department, warns Tara.
If the employer gets wind of
any inappropriate messages,
it could be classed as abuse
of the email system. What
could be worse than that?
How about becoming an
in-office or even global
meme? Theres always the
risk of someone in IT
circulating the messages.
Earlier this year, a Scottish
couples steamy email
exchanges (You were
very wet!) were leaked after
they embarked on a work
fling. They went into hiding
soon after. As would you.
You look a bit glum when

she leaves
That feeling in your

stomach when, at 6pm,
you see her get up, pull on
her coat and casually walk
out? Thats sadness. Its
sadness and everyone
even her can see it writ
large all over your mug.
You send her videos
YouTube links are the

21st-century equivalent of
a mix tape, showing her
what a deep person you
are. In reality, she stopped
clicking on your links after
you sent that hauntingly
beautiful panpipe cover
of Seals Kiss From A Rose.
Hair and make-up: marco antonio using dermalogica, mac and krastase. Styling: hayley lawrence. Bra, myla; skirt
and shirt, primark; stockings, marks & spencer. All true story names have been changed
HOW SHE
KNOWS
THAT YOU
LIKE HER
THE MAN WHO

GREW UP
How do you go back to normal

when all youve ever known is Harry
Potter? FHM catches up with
Rupert Grint to find out
Photography Neil Bedford Styling William Barnes

Words Dan Masoliver Grooming Joe Mills Set Tom Bird
ON SET
I couldnt
relate
To my
friends.
I felt like
an alien
the fashion
here are people in this world who are

special, who have an air about them
an A-list aura that marks them
out as different from the rest of us.
Call it star power if you will, but
when they walk into a room, with
their chiselled features, perfectly
coiffed hair and immaculate styling, everyone immediately
knows theyre in the presence of greatness.
Rupert Grint is not one of these people. Surrounded, as he
is today in a central London studio, by an army of setbuilders, stylists, make-up artists, photographers, publicists
and several others with unidentifiable but seemingly very
important roles, the only person in the room to have had his
face printed on a lunch box actually looks like the most, well,
normal one here. Yet this 25-year-olds life couldnt have
been further from normal if hed been raised by chimpanzees
in a jungle.
In the year 2000, an 11-year-old boy from Stevenage sat
down to watch a Newsround report about an open
casting for the film version of his favourite book, Harry
Potter And The Philosophers Stone. With a handful of school
shows under his belt including a dazzling cameo as a
donkey in a nativity play the young Grint sent an audition
tape to the films producers, in which he rapped the reasons
he should be considered for the part of Harrys ginger
sidekick Ron Weasley.
The rest, as you know, is highly lucrative, record-breaking
history. In the decade that followed, Grint, and his trademark
mop of red hair, would become one of the most recognisable
figures on Earth, starring in the eight Harry Potter movies,
the highest-grossing film franchise of all time bigger than
Star Wars, bigger than Batman, bigger even than Bond.
Something that the bright-eyed 11-year-old from small-town
Hertfordshire couldnt ever have dreamt of.
It was a complete fluke, says Grint. I was a huge
fan of the books, and Id always been into drama, but
I never really thought of it as a career. I just thought
it was a bit of fun. But landing the role of Ron in the Potter
films marked a dramatic fork in the road, one that would,
on the one hand, sentence him to a life of fame and
fortune and, on the other, deprive him of any semblance of a
normal childhood.
Childhood lost
In Year 8, while you were faking the flu to try to get out of
PE, Rupert Grint was riding a broomstick and getting shouted
at by Alan Rickman. By Year 10, as you tried to hide your
boner during a game of spin the bottle, Grint was waving his
wand at dementors and shooting the shit with Gary Oldman.
It sounds like every kids idea of a dream come true, but the
reality was that he missed out on so many of the shared
experiences that the rest of us take for granted.
My life completely changed, he recalls. I went back to
school in Year 9 to do some exams, and I hadnt really been
there for two years. I couldnt relate to any of my friends any
more, because I had such a different life. I felt like an alien.
Even the most basic of hair gel-induced alterations that
everyone makes in their teens was off-limits to Grint until he
was well into his 20s. I could never change, he says. I
fhmindia.com
could never have a haircut, or control stupid stuff like that.

That may sound trivial, but theres a reason that the
long-standing stereotype of the child-star-gone-bad
endures to this day. Pulled out of school and away from their
friends, while being thrust into the limelight and introduced
to a life of money, glamour and every imaginable vice, its
hardly surprising that the Lindsay Lohans and Macaulay
Culkins of this world go off the rails. But sitting on a sofa
this afternoon, taking a sip from his bottle of Coke, Grint
seems to have avoided the pull of sex, drugs and tabloid
column inches.
Its not something thats swayed me. I have quite a strong
fear of death, so thats always kept me away from it, says
Grint, in the friendly, familiar tone he retains throughout our
conversation. And we were quite contained, in our own little
bubble. I mean, we filmed Harry Potter in Watford. Its not
exactly Hollywood.
PENCIL-CASE FACE
Regardless of where the films were made, they grossed

almost $8 billion dollars in box-office takings alone, and
countless millions more in DVD sales and merchandising. The
series may be called Harry Potter, but alongside co-stars
Daniel Radcliffe and Emma Watson, Rupert Grints face is
plastered on posters, duvet covers and pencil cases. Grint may
rarely have got the heroic, scene-stealing lines, but hes still
had to deal with the same all-intrusive fame.
Everywhere he goes theres a ripple of recognition that
culminates in his posing for photos with fans. Im quite a shy
person, says Grint, and wherever you go theres someone
taking a picture of you. Ive been to a couple of music festivals
in the past few years, and thats quite tough, because theres a
huge amount of drunk people, and once one person comes
over, it attracts a crowd. Sometimes its a bit overpowering.
Grint still remembers the first time he was spotted in
public, when he was out with his family in North Londons
Brent Cross shopping centre after the first Potter film came
out. Since that day, Grint has turned heads everywhere he
goes. You cant just be yourself youre always on show, he
says. It puts me on edge. I do hide away from it and wear
hoods and masks. I wore a mask at V Festival two years ago,
and it was invigorating I felt free. But it was a latex duck
mask and it was really hot, so I couldnt keep it on for long.
Wearing a latex duck mask may sound a little extreme, but
this isnt some cry for attention; talk to Grint, and you get the
impression that this is someone who is simply attempting on
a daily basis to regain some of the normality that hes been
denied his entire life.
This is a man who spent more years pretending to be Ron
Weasley than he had spent actually living his life as Rupert
Grint. One childhood whim to send an audition tape to a
casting director effectively set him on an irreversible path to
everlasting fame. I had some other ideas: I wanted to design
hats, or become an ice-cream man, he says. After getting the
part of Ron, I didnt have much choice. Theres no turning
back after that.
Despite the occasional rough patch, and a self-confessed
mid-franchise fatigue, Grint learned to love acting. So when
faced with the finale of Potter, and the trauma of having the
only constant thing in his life whipped out from under his
fhmindia fhmindia
December 2013
89
the fashion
feet at the end of a decade of filming, he was finally faced

with a choice: sit and roll around in mountains of bank notes,
or try to shake the associations with that ginger wizard and
make it as a serious actor. The only catch: now, instead of
starring in a film with a guaranteed global audience of
millions, hed have to start every project from scratch. More
than a little daunting, surely?
Harry Potter is a very unique thing and Im probably never
going to replicate or experience that again, acknowledges
Grint. In a way its quite nice, because theres not the same
kind of pressure you dont expect it to do as well, so its
quite a free experience.
Life After Potter
The upcoming project that Grint hopes will go some way

towards expanding his thespian horizons is a new West End
run of the gangster-plotted black comedy Mojo. It will be
Grints first appearance on stage since playing the lead role
in Rumpelstiltskin, aged 10.
I think I need to do it, he admits. Its real acting,
and theres something quite thrilling about only having one
shot, not loads of takes. That excites me. His upcoming
cinema role in CBGB in which he plays a foul-mouthed
anarchist rocker with a penchant for flashing his pasty arse
is no less of a departure from the sorting hats and golden
snitches of Hogwarts. Like Radcliffe and Watson, hes
carving out a place for himself in the grown-up world of
proper acting.
Thats not as easy as it sounds. Dropping the invisible
cloak of the Harry Potter franchise is harder than
performing an expelliarmus spell with your hands tied
behind your back. Robert De Niro left his prints on Los
Angeles Hollywood Walk of Fame in February this year;
thats a full six years after Grint, Watson and Radcliffe left
their palm, feet and wand prints in the same famous
concrete. No pressure or anything, but where do you go
from there?
Grint went back to his parents place in Hertfordshire
or the massive mansion hed bought for them anyway. In
his spare time, he makes artwork and designs T-shirts. But
whereas some famous types would exploit their brands to
sell sub-par wares to fans whod buy their used tissues if it
came from a reputable source, Grint, under a false name,
submits his designs to legendary tee website threadless.
com. Its really hard to get something on there, and it
would be the ultimate achievement to get one made, he
admits. He probably wouldnt turn his nose up at an Oscar,
but the fact hes so keen to have his creative endeavours
recognised for their merit alone, and not because of who
made them, tells you everything you need to know about
the most down-to-earth man in film.
Though as hard as interviewers, critics and fans
may try, well never truly be able to understand Rupert
Grint. There are only two people who can really know what
its like to walk in his world-famous
OPPOSITE
shoes: the young actors he spent
Jacket, 319, paulsmith. all day every day with on set for a whole
co.uk; jumper, 165, APC
at Liberty.co.uk; jeans, decade. Someone once said the
three of us were like astronauts, says
85, Pepejeans.com;
shoes, 145, Loake.co.uk Grint. Well always have that
90
December 2013
connection, and thats important.

One of the major things Grint, Radcliffe and Watson have
in common is cash, and plenty of it. Growing up as one of
five siblings, Grint didnt come from money, yet for as long
as he can remember, thanks to a certain boy wizard, hes
had more of it than he knows what to do with. Ive got a
weird relationship with money; it embarrasses me a little
bit, he says. Ive never really known what to do with it. I
dont even know how much there is. Well, considering that
by 2010 hed made it on to the Sunday Times Rich List of
young millionaires, with an estimated fortune of 20
million, its safe to say the mans totally minted.
You might expect Grint to be living the high life, wearing
designer labels and travelling by helicopter. In fact, he
arrived at todays shoot in black jeans and a baggy white
T-shirt, and was driven here by Jim, the same man who has
been driving him around since the very first Harry Potter
film. I find it all a bit uncomfortable, the whole money
thing, so wasting it on private jets and stuff like that seems
a bit weird, he says. Its not really me.
UNIMAGINABLE RICHES
Thats not to say hes keeping all his cash in some gigantic
Harry Potter-headed piggy bank. Hes just spent it on slightly
more, lets say, unusual things. When he passed his driving
test, he bought an ice-cream van complete with Mr Whippy
machine and jolly jingle. To get to V Festival a few years back,
he bought a second-hand VW Camper Van. Other purchases
have included an indoor ice-rink at his family home, and a
fully functional hovercraft. And his latest project? Im trying
to put a slide on the side of my flat its got a roof garden and
the slide will go down to the floor below, he says. But its not
up yet. Ive had some complaints. And in perhaps the least
glamorous spending spree in Hollywood history, he recently
went through a particularly unusual eBay phase, buying Royal
Mail memorabilia from fleeces and postbags to miniature
souvenir letterboxes.
It doesnt take a psychoanalyst to spot the pattern in these
purchases. Grint seems to spend a lot of money on items that
could hardly be more symbolic of the childhood he never had.
But he isnt buying this stuff out of some weird fixation; hes
just buying it because its fun, and because he can. Most
surprisingly for someone who never got to be a kid like the
rest of us, make mistakes and learn the hard way, spike his
hair and skip school and smoke a cigarette behind the bike
sheds, Grint is a totally regular chap. Someone you could
enjoy a round of golf with (though hed probably beat you),
and chat to over a pint (though youd be constantly
interrupted by camera-wielding fans).
He may be unimaginably famous, a hell of a lot wealthier
than you, and own some pretty weird shit, but Rupert Grint is
about as nice and normal a young man as youre likely to
meet. He may not have the aura of a Hollywood star, but that
seems to suit him just fine. This is a man who didnt go out
looking for fame, but had it thrust upon him as a young lad; a
man who now continues to act because he relishes the
challenge, and because hes actually pretty darn good
at it. And he does it all with a smile on his face, and an easy,
laidback spirit. In his own words, I came into this on a bit of
a fluke. Im just enjoying the ride.
fhmindia fhmindia
fhmindia.com
credit: name name
WE FILMED HARRY POTTER

IN WATFORD. ITS NOT
EXACTLY HOLLYWOOD.
fhmindia.com
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December 2013
91
the fashion
Shirt, 100; tie, 40,

both Hentschman.com
Opposite
Jacket, 450, bape.com;
jeans, 120, edwin-europe.
com; shoes, 75, Saucony
at mrporter.com
Im trying to put
a slide on the side
of my flat. Ive had
some complaints
fhmindia.com
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December 2013
93
THE E N D L ESS Q U EST F O R I M P R O V EME N T
99
Is the
s m a r t w at c h
r e a l ly t h at
smart?
102
Mans best friend

chronicles
114
F h m s u lt i m at e
Ta b a s c o
s h o oto u t
116
D - I - Y C h r i s t m a s di s h e s
fhmindia.com
fhmindia fhmindia
The definitive
g u i d e to m a n
b o ots
December 2013
95
to
Learnk
coo
THE REAL EASY
Christmas
Goodies
The starter
Coz Turkey is as Christmasy as the fat man and presents
the dox
unorathrtoer
st
Pan seared
Kamchatka Crab
Cake
THE RECIPE
Cooking time 15 minutes
Ingredients
300g crab meat from claws,
finely diced.
5 number kafir lime leaves,
finely shreddedd
Salt to taste
Pepper to taste
2 portions egg yolk
1 tbsp cornstarch
2 tbsp olive oil
Step: 01
Mix all the ingredients together.
Step: 02
Potion into small balls of 30 to 35

grams each.
Step: 03
Shape it into a cake with nice and

smooth edges.
01
03
Step: 04
Heat a nonstick pan on medium

heat and pour olive oil in it.
Step: 05
02
Shallow fry the cakes in the oil for

5 minutes, flipping just once in
between.
Step: 06
Take out once cooked and

remove extra oil by dabbing it
with a kitchen towel.
96
December 2013
04
05
fhmindia fhmindia
06
fhmindia.com
UPGRADE food
The Main course

The best way to eat turkey!
American
Butterball Turkey
Breast
the
me at
THE RECIPE
Ingredients
4 pieces turkey breast (skinless
and boneless)*
12 strips oak smoked bacon
3 tbsp virgin olive oil
3 tbps lemon juice
24 finely chopped sage leaves
100 gms chestnut
100 gms apricot
Salt and peppercorn to taste
Step: 01
Make a marinade using olive oil,

lemon juice and sage leaves. Slit
the the breast down the middle
and stuff it with chestnuts and
apricot.
Step: 02
Marinate for 45 minutes at room

temperature while turning the
turkey occasionally.
Step: 03
01
02
Pre heat the grill and apply a thin

coat of oil on it.
Step: 04
Remove the breast from the

marinade.
Step: 05
*Turkey is available at Godrejs Nature Basket outlets
Place the breast on the grill to

give it the grill marks.
03
Step: 06
04
Wrap the turkey with bacon strips

and place it in a pre-heated oven
at 180*C.
Step: 07
Remove the turkey after heating it

in the oven for 20 minutes. Serve
it with finely diced onions cooked
in cranberry sauce.
fhmindia.com
05
06
fhmindia fhmindia
Ritesh Negi, Executive Chef

at The lodhi, New Delhi
December 2013
97
UPGRADE food
The Dessert
Make it a very plum Christmas!
the druntk
desser
Plum Pudding
THE RECIPE
Ingredients
365 gms unsalted butter
375 gms brown sugar
6 eggs
375 gms finely chopped apple
100 gms cornflour
8 gms baking powder
200 gms fresh cream
1800 gms alcohol soaked fruit
25 ml dark rum
25 ml brandy
75 gms dark caramel
Step: 01
Whisk unsalted butter and brown

sugar together till the sugar
dissolves in the butter.
Step: 02
Add remaining dry items in the

butter and sugar mixture.
Step: 03
Add caramel, brandy and dark

rum to the mixture and portion
out in individual baking moulds.
01
02
Step: 04
Take a deep baking tray and

add suffucient water to make a
water bath.
Step: 05
Place the moulds carefully in the

water bath and bake at 190*C for
90 minutes.
04
03
05
Words and pictures: Nishant Nayyar
Step: 06
98
Insert a toothpick at the centre of

the pudding, if it comes out clean,
you have done a good job with
the baking.
Step: 07
Rest the pudding for 15 minutes

before taking it out from the
moulds and serving.
December 2013
06
07
fhmindia fhmindia
08
fhmindia.com
U P G R A D E gadge t s
ready for Smartwatch?

Smartwatch is the latest gadget to grab the tech
geeks attention, but is it worth being traded in for
your swanky Breitling? We find out
martwatches could do a
lot more than just
popping notifications,
but manufacturers have not been
able to cite a compelling case for
why people need them. When
you think about it, the
smartwatch could become an
inseparable part of your
personality, just like your
handheld device, but does it
really serve the purpose? Yes, it
mildly does. We say mildly
because the two devices your
smartwatch and your phone are
interconnected via a Bluetooth,
which might act up at times.
Functionality
Unlike other BT enabled
products, this one takes a dig on
your efforts and time, as you
need to install a Smart Connect
App on your Android phone.
This Smart Connect App
manages what gets sent to the
watch, be it messages or call
notifications. So in a nutshell,
your smartwatchs functionality is

totally dependent and routed via
this app. For example, you can get
messages on your watch by
installing the Sonys Messaging
app. The sad part is that you only
get to read the messages and
reply back with pre-installed
messages or emoticons. There are
nearly 250 other apps you can
add, but they dont seem enticing
enough. The watch can act as a
remote control for your phone,
but calls can be made only
through the phone. For the watch
to be useful, you need a BT
wireless headset linked to the
phone. When calls come in, you
can reject the call with or without
a canned text reply. If you have a
Sony phone, you can answer calls
from the watch as well. With any
phone running on at least Android
4.0, you can initiate calls from the
watch using its dial-pad or your
Android contacts list. But again,
the calls go through your phone.
You can control the volume, but it
took us a while to figure out how.

As for social networks, well, they
will depend on how much noise
you can handle. Twitter and
Facebook both have apps that can
be a little bit spammy. On the plus
side, Twitters short-worded
nature means that youll usually
get the whole message on screen.
Both apps let you manage whose
updates will trigger notifications,
making them reasonably easy to
tailor to your needs. Its worth
pointing out though, that you
cant click web links in either of
these apps, since theres not
actually a web browser on board.
Do you need it?
Though, the smartwatch seems
a bit of a mismatch between
technology and utility, those who
want to go for one can definitely
vouch for the Sony SmartWatch
2. But we are still not convinced if
a smartwatch would be able to
replace a Breitling, even in the
near future.
Sonys s
n
watch ruhan 2
t
for moreon a
days
arge
single ch
against
samsung
gear
The Samsung Gear wins on

looks and features, but you
need to shell out another 6
grand on that. With a bigger
screen and metal outlook,
the Samsung Gear is
definitely worth flaunting
against the Sony
SmartWatch 2. In terms of
features, Sonys watch
doesnt have a speaker or a
microphone. It doesnt have a
camera. The Gear has all
that, which means you can
make phone calls through
the watch itself, without a
Bluetooth headset. Where
the SmartWatch 2
outperforms the Gear is in
delivering messages and on
battery backup, where it
outperforms the Samsung
Gear by close to 2 days of
extra usage, while the Gear
usually dies out in a day.
Dimensions: 36 mm X
36 mm
Weight: 26 grams
fhmindia.com
fhmindia fhmindia
December 2013
specs
Price ` 7,990
99
U P G R A D E gadge t s
we grilled
these gadgets
Another month goes by while playing with a handful of gadgets.

While some passed our test, others miserably failed!
Amkette Trubeats Metal
If you vy
ea
love h hen
t
s
s
ba
tal
ats me
trubethe BT
is
er for
speak u
yo
One of the most essential gadget an urban lad should carry is a portable Bluetooth speaker.
Now, speaking of portable, the first word that comes to your mind is lightweight. But, this
product is a complete anamoly. Trubeats Metal, as the name suggests, is built with a metal
alloy drum to produce the loudest sound from possibly the smallest space. It measures 57 x
62 mm in dimensions and weighs just 315g. Designed to deliver a power packed heavy bass
sound, the Bluetooth enabled portable device also has a built in mic that delivers loud sound
for both party and calls. Owing to its metal bezel, the sound that is reproduced is concrete,
crisper and heavier. The sound box also gives an ample playback time of more than 6 hours
which is certainly not the best, but neither is bad. What amazed us was the bass output of
this portable player which certainly stands apart as a stellar feature for this price.
Price `2995
Huawei Ascend p6
When current owners of the iPhone 5 swoon over a

phone, you know youre holding something truly special
in your hand. The Huawei Ascend P6 might be a
mouthful, but it strikes a strange chord in the heart
the same chord that the iPhone tingles and thats a lot
more than other phones have been able to accomplish.
The colours look brighter, the phone is thinner than the
iPhone 5S and the touch is stellar. Its also a quad-core so
it doesnt hang if you use Whatsapp, Twitter and FB
together and it costs ` 30,000 (26,000 on Flipkart). So,
sounds like a fair deal, eh? It actually is, till you go on
roaming and the metal trims turn so hot you can fry
baby eggs on them. Thankfully, it calms off soon after its
let off some steam. Another grouse we had is the voice
clarity, which goes bad and then gets better on its own.
Apart from these two bits of erraticness, the Ascend P6
is a great phone.
Price `29,990
100
December 2013
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HTC one mini
The mini is a mid-to-high-end aluminum-clad smartphone with a 4.3-inch display,

designed for those who want a premium device without the massive size now
thats a relief. Beautifully designed, you are left completely awestruck when holding
this phone. The sheer slimness, compact form and of course the price. However, the
plastic injected around the edges of the phone makes it seem like a less refined
iteration of One. The camera is superb with the inclusion of the Zoe mode that plays
along with four second burst shot mode and Image Signal processor (ISP). Under
the skin, its powered by a 1.4 GHz Qualcomm Snapdragon processor, 1 GB RAM
and 16GB internal memory. While using the phone, our biggest quibble was the lack
of processing power and the limited storage. Price `36,790
Micromax turbo
When Hugh Jackman endorses an Indian phone, we

have to take a closer look at it. The built quality is a
mix of plastic and aluminum back finish, which makes
it look gorgeous. The 5-inch full HD display screen
with 1080x1920 pixels resolution and pixel density of
440ppi ensure that text is crisp and the colours come
out beautifully. You will be satisfied with the 13MP
camera as long as you take snaps in a well-lit
environment. The Turbo is powered by a 1.5GHz
quad-core processor with 2GB RAM onboard. It
comes with 16GB of internal storage and uses the
tried and tested Android 4.2
Price: `19,999
Acer c720 Chromebook
The C720 is aimed for first time laptop users who dont want to burn a hole in their pockets. In the grand scheme of things, its the C720s price point
that makes it appealing while on a smaller scale its this notebooks excellent performance that makes it stand out amongst peers. From the outside, the
grey shaded Chromebook gives a fairly utilitarian and business-esque look. The keys are also solid and can be used to type quickly, which is of particular
importance for many users. The touch is a tad bit unresponsive, albeit only power users will feel so. What comes as a surprise is the fact that the laptop
doesnt heat up and is deadly quiet. Performance is where the Acer C720 shines, and anyone who plans to use the system regularly for work or as a
primary laptop will find no flaws. For us, the Acer C720 stands taller than the Samsung Series 3 Chromebook..
Price `22,999
fhmindia.com
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December 2013
101
A mans
guide to
Dogs
A pet pup could be your new best friend, but
only if you choose the right breed. Heres all
that need to know to pick the perfect pooch
for you
Words Dan Masoliver Photography Marco Vittur
Cavalier KING
CHARLES SPANIEL
Dottie, 7 years old
102
December 2013
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UPGRADE pooch
Whether you already have

a pooch or are looking to get
one, there are things you
need to know to avoid
barking up the wrong tree.
We enlisted the help of
animal behaviour expert Helen Stone
from Battersea Dogs & Cats Home to
provide us with her doggy wisdom
You might have heard that people in
flats shouldnt get dogs, but as long as
youre willing to put in the time and you
give it exercise, the size of the house
or dog doesnt matter too much. Its
more about the breed than the size, as
some are a lot more active than others.
Siberian Huskies, say, arent huge, but
theyre used to pulling sledges all day in
the snow. If you get one of those, you
need to be walking it a lot.
A dogs breed plays a huge role in its
behaviour. German Shepherds and
Rottweilers are historically bred to guard
and make noise when people come to
the house. If you dont want a dog thats
going to bark at certain noises, you may
want to consider a different breed.
Training has a massive impact too, and
most things can be taught, no matter
the breed.
Pretty much all breeds have associated
health issues Labradors can have
problems with their hips and arthritis;
Pugs can have trouble breathing and be
prone to epilepsy because of the size of
their head. If youre going for a
pedigree dog, you want to find out
about the parents and whether they
suffer from problems. Mongrels tend
to be healthier than pedigree dogs, but
again that depends on which breeder
you get it from.
01 Dachshund
Tiger, 5 years old
Better known as sausage dogs,

Dachshunds were originally
bred as working dogs to chase
game like badgers and rabbits.
Surprisingly energetic, they
do need a fair bit of exercise,
though equally enjoy a good
snooze. Theyre loyal, but not
necessarily the most obedient.
Financial cost is something that people

often dont think about. Buy a puppy today,
and it could cost you around 2 lakh (13
years, on average). You can expect to pay
`15,000 upwards for a pedigree pooch, and
then youre looking at veterinary costs,
insurance, neutering, food, toys. You can
ask the guy who cleans your car to take you
pet for a walk, but he will charge `600-700
per month for the job.
02 Dobermann
Bruno, 8 years old
Named after their original

breeder, a German tax collector
who needed a dog to help him
collect payments. These dogs
are tough, fast and skilful
trackers (which makes them
popular police dogs), but
theyre also loving, affectionate,
and love a good lie down.
All dogs need a leader to show them what

to do; they need guidance in how to behave
in a human house because its a strange
environment for an animal. But if youre
using force or punishment, it will just
create a problem between you and the dog
where they feel they need to defend
themselves. Those sorts of techniques can
create a lot of detrimental problems for the
dog. Its about respect both ways. If you
show them what to do, you should be fine.
If your dogs being annoying, chasing
your feet and chewing everything up, its
probably just bored because it isnt getting
enough exercise. Dogs arent spiteful
animals and theyre not doing things to
annoy us or to try to get a reaction out of
us; theyre doing things because its what
they need to do to cope in that situation.
02
Some new dog owners compare

getting a dog to having a baby.
Suddenly their life has
changed. You have to plan
your day; you need to know
fhmindia.com
Which is the
right dog for me?
someones coming home at a certain time

for the dog, and someones always
responsible for making sure that its fed
and its OK. You need to be taking it out for
a walk twice a day, and your social life will
be impacted quite heavily if you
normally come home and go straight out
with your friends, youre often going to
need to stay in and spend some time with
the dog instead.
01
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December 2013
103
UPGRADE pooch
03 Cocker Spaniel
Layla, 3 years old
Spaniels are a fun and

friendly bunch, and Cockers
are the most easy-going of
the lot. Theyre retrievers
that thrive on hanging out
with humans and love
pleasing their owners. On the
one hand that makes them
relatively easy to train; on the
other hand, it means that
in the absence of rabbits
any old slippers youve got
lying around the house are
likely to get covered in
Spaniel slobber when it drops
them at your feet with a look
of pride on its face.
04 Yorkshire Terrier
Zack, 4 years old
Yorkies have got really big

personalities for such tiny
dogs. They tend to be
pampered little pooches, but
thats more down to their
owners who pick them for
their cute puppy-dog eyes
and sticky-uppy ears than
the dogs themselves. Yes,
they walk around town with
ribbons in their hair, but in
the right hands Yorkies are
playful, energetic dogs that
like chasing after toys and
small rodents alike.
05 Akita
Hugo, 3 years old
These big, powerful Japanese

beasties were bred as fighting
dogs, but their strength and
skills were soon used for
hunting bears yes, actual
bears as well as wild boar
and deer. This makes them
good guard dogs, but theyre
big furry softies at heart, and
are quietly devoted to their
owners, who theyd do
anything to protect. They
require a ton of exercise, and
arent suited to sitting
around all day in a cramped
flat.
FYI
r pet by
If you plan to transport you
double
air, you will have to pay for
the dog.
and
cage
the
of
ght
wei
the
s and
If your pooch wighs 10 kilo
will pay
the cage is of 20 kilos, you
ays
for (20+10)x2. Only Jet Airw
sport in
tran
pet
w
allo
ia
Ind
Air
and
not
India. Train is cheaper, but
a lot of
really advisable because of
.
formalities, plus its not safe
December 2013
Still used today for tracking

and hunting hare, Beagles are
one of the most popular
hounds in Britain. Theyre
friendly, enthusiastic and
love running around the park
or, better yet, a big open
field. Dont be fooled by their
small bodies Beagles were
bred to hunt other animals,
so good luck calling one back
once theyve found a scent.
If you enjoy standing
shouting after your dog or
looking for it in the
undergrowth, get yourself a
bubbly Beagle.
05
03
04
104
06 Beagle
Bteezer, 5 months old
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06
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07 Jack Russell
Miley, 8 years old
The Kennel Club, in its

infinite wisdom, doesnt
actually recognise the Jack
Russell as a breed, because
the dogs can vary so much in
shape and size, but its still
one of the most popular dogs
in Britain. They may be little,
but Jack Russells are super
energetic and need a good
amount of space to run
around in, or at least a couple
of good long walks a day.
08 Chihuahua
Toby, 2 years old
The smallest dog breed in

the world, youre more likely
to see one of these fur balls
in Paris Hiltons handbag
than a blokes back garden,
but theyre actually pretty
smart, trainable little pups.
Theyre lap dogs, so require
very little exercise compared
to some other breeds
under an hour a day and
they make really good
companions for old folks.
FYI
Friendicoes-SECA
is a charity that cares for
pets,
abandoned and unwanted
providing veterinary
care and shelter. To find out
more or to donate, find them
on www.facebook.com/
friendicoes.
07
09 Staffordshire
Bull Terrier
Mylo, 4 years old
Staffies have probably the

worst reputation of any dog
in the UK today, and it
couldnt be any less
deserved. They may look
tough, and they do have a lot
of power in that squat,
muscly frame of theirs, but
on the inside theyre one
of the softest, soppiest
breeds around. Staffies even
used to be known as the
nanny dog because they
were so good around
children. Their bad rep
nowadays comes from the
idiots who train them to
fight, which is totally against
the breeds nature.
09
Why dogs
really are
Mans Best
Friend
Its been emotional
Dogs are the only critters
in the animal kingdom
that can read emotion in
humans. Science types at
the University of Lincoln
found that after 15,000
years of domestication,
dogs have developed the
ability to tell if were
happy, sad or angry just by
looking at our ugly mugs.
Super sniffers
Your dog could save your
life, and not just by pulling
you out of a burning
building or by alerting
someone that youre stuck
down a well. French
researchers found some
breeds can be trained to
detect prostate cancer, just
by sniffing your piss.
Canine connection
Contagious yawning
when you yawn because
the person youre with
just has is a
subconscious way of
displaying empathy for
our fellow man, and the
more empathy you feel
for others, the more likely
you are to yawn when
someone else does. But
dogs do this too,
according to researchers
at the University of
Tokyo, showing that they
are genuinely
emotionally connected
to people.
Clever girl
Dogs can understand up
to 250 words and signals,
which linguistically makes
them about as smart as a
two-year-old human. This
means theyre able to fetch
an item like a ball just by
hearing the word for it.
The smartest poochies are
Border Collies, Poodles,
German Shepherds and
Golden Retrievers.
The dumbest? Shaggy old
Afghan Hounds.
08
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December 2013
105
Musical
intervention
Blokes and others its the last month of a year that flew by in a jiffy, but it also saw a billion and a
half musical escapades starting from Tiestos India tour to Above and Beyonds numerous stopovers
in India, just in case you missed all of them, to keep up the trend weve got you a round-up of
Decembers hottest gigs.
Avicii India Tour
6, 7, 8 Dec; Mumbai, Bangalore & Delhi
The world #3 deejay is all set to blast your
EDM senses with his 3-city tour. Starting the
tour with Mumbai, then moving on to
Bengaluru and finally hitting Delhi Avicii is
back in the country after his debut tour in 2011.
For EDM novices, Avicii is the Platinum selling
#3 artist on the worldwide DJ Mag polls and
has made the world groove to his hits such as
Le7els, Bromance and Silhouettes.
(Live), Umek and Gabriel & Dresden.

Moreover, the festival will also showcase
Indian acts like Swarathma, Indian Ocean,
Raghu Dixit, Shaair & Func, Dualist Inquiry,
Arjun Vagale, Ankytrixx and Lost Stories.
Magnetic Fields
13, 14, 15 Dec; Alisar Mahal, Rajasthan
A striking backdrop of a 17th century palace
combined with impeccable Rajasthani
hospitality and the freshest underground
sounds from India and abroad thats
Magnetic Fields for you. This first time festival
takes place at the stunning Alsisar Mahal in
the heritage village of Alsisar in Shekhawati,
Rajasthan and brings a unique outdoor music
festival experience. The festival promises to
offer Yoga sessions, traditional folk artists and
the best of local cuisine, deconstructing some
of the regions most popular foods. The
line-up boasts of artists like Shaair + Func,
Robot Koch, Shiva Soundsystem, Sandunes,
Kohra, BLOT!, Midival Punditz, Sulk Station,
Peter Cat Recording Co. and Frame/ Frame
amongst others.
Enchanted Valley Carnival

6, 7, 8 Dec; Aamby Valley City
The first of its kind music festival to take place
in Aamby Valley City, Maharastra; this EDM
escapade offers 3 days, 4 stages and over 60
artists to watch out for. Amongst those who
will be headlining these stages are
international bigwigs such as ATB, Cosmic
Gate with Emma Hewitt (Live), Chicane
Amongst the acts to watch out for are Indian

Ocean, Kailasa, Papon, The Raghu Dixit
Project, Michal Menert of the Pretty Lights
fame, ReFocus by Arjun Vagale, Dualist Inquiry,
Ska Vengers, Karsh Kale Collective, Parikrama,
Nischay Parekh and Pentagram. Phew!
Sunburn Festival
27, 28, 29 Dec; Candolim Beach, Goa
Sunburn has undoubtedly put India on the
global EDM map. This year marks the seventh
edition of this beachside fiesta with headlining
acts like Axwell, Afrojack, Markus Schulz and
James Zabiela amongst others.
106
December 2013
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NH7 Weekender
14, 15 Dec; Kolkata
NH7 is a name that needs no introduction.
The people behind NH7 have tagged their
baby as the happiest music festival of India
and damn, theyre right. This time, they foray
into Kolkatas musical ensemble, which is a first
for the city and will also mark the last leg of
the 4-city Weekender edition for 2013.
fhmindia.com
U P G R A D E f e s t i va l
03
01
05
02
Life Saver
04
FHM festival essentials

Whether you are dancing on the beach or grooving in the dessert, these essential picks will help
you survive long EDM carnivals without any stress
1. Altoids
Even after all that heavy
indulgence of booze
guzzling and junk food
hogging, wouldnt you want
to make a move on the cute
lass who subtly passed you
a smile on the dance floor?
Well, then keep these
strong breath mints handy
in your backpack/shorts so
you can approach her.
Price `280
2. Sony Portable
Charger
Amidst the heavy check-ins
on Foursqaure,
simultaneous clicks on
Instagram and relentless
tweeting on your pick of
the live acts, your phone
suddenly conks off. So how
do you feed your socially
connected animal inside
you? We just carry a
handy portable mobile
charger and it gets us back
in action. Price `1250
3. Neutrogena
Sunblock
Keep in mind that 90% of
the damage done to your
skin can be attributed to the
sun. So if you insist on
being out and about, at
least use a good sunscreen.
This Neutrogena Sunblock
with SPF 50 should
preserve your native skin
tone even when youre in
the thick of festival
shenanigans.
Price `180
4. Himalaya Gentle
Wipes
Cleaning up using a wet
wipe, unlike the
conventional method of
cleaning using water and a
cloth wipe, does not drain
the skin of its moisture and
leave it dry. Also, they are
disposable and save you
tlugging and washing soiled
towels/napkins.
Price `50
5. Victorinox
Swiss Knife
From opening beer bottles
to fixing tents, a Swiss knife
always comes to the rescue.
A sought-after, all-in-one
survival kit, the Victorinox
15 Tool Swiss Knife is the
ideal go-to option. It also
comes with a key ring so
you dont lose it.
Price `1200 onwards
COCKTAILS
THAT will keep you warm
Really Manly
Brandy cocktails
108
December 2013
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U P G R A D E c o c k ta i l s
Ginger Loves
to Gossip
Citric
Connection
LaLune Jaune
Bangkok
Surprise
45ml Brandy
4 Pineapple Chunks
1 tbsp Anise Seeds
15ml Lime Juice
15ml Sugar Syrup
30ml Pineapple Juice
2 dashes of
Angustura Bitters
Muddle pineapple, anise
seeds and sugar syrup in
a glass, pour brandy along
with diluted lime juice and
pineapple juice.
Add some crushed ice
and shake hard for 10
seconds before straining
it in the glass. Top with
Angustura bitters.
Amigo
45ml Brandy
1 tbsp Orange
Marmalade
15ml of Lime Juice
15ml Monin Triple Sec
1 Orange Zest
Muddle lime and sugar in
a glass, add brandy and
pour a tbsp of
marmalade. Dilute
15ml Monin Triple
Sec in the glass,
add 1 Orange zest,
fill the glass with
some crushed ice, stir
the mixture and serve.
fhmindia.com
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45ml Brandy
4 Orange Chunks
20ml Passion
Fruit syrup
15ml Lime Juice
A dash of Soda
Muddle orange with lime
and passion fruit in
glass, pour the brandy,
add some crushed ice to
it, shake and strain it in
the glass.
45ml Brandy
40ml of Triple Sec
1 Orange Chunk
15ml of Lime Juice
60 ml Beer
A dash of Soda
Muddle orange in a
glass, pour the brandy,
Triple sec and lime juice.
Top it with beer and add
some soda before
serving.
Side Kick
45ml brandy
15ml of Triple sec
10ml of Monin
Spicy Syrup
20ml of Lime juice
Pour brandy in a glass
and dilute the Triple sec
and Monin Spicy syrup
to it. Now add the lime
juice and some cracked
ice. Shake and strain it
in the glass. Serve.
December 2013
Words: Kumar Saurav; Cocktails by USLs Louis Vernant XO brandy
45ml Brandy
20 ml Ginger Lime
Cordial
10ml Lime Juice
30ml Sprite
60ml Soda
Pour the brandy in a
glass and top it with
ginger lime cordial, lime
juice, Sprite and soda.
Add some cracked ice,
stir gently and serve.
109
news
SPORT
STYLE
Compiled By: Kumar Saurav
12/13
Sweat it ouT
A grey sweatshirt is like a classic watch...Something that

should never be discarded and it normally isnt. For times
when yours becomes too flea-ridden, and its time to
ing
yth orn
r
e
ev n be wan
ca with ized .
rs rt..
oveatshit
e
s g
swA
lmo
hin
t
ry
e
v
e
upgrade, try this Nike Fleece sweatshirt. To make it even

more professional, try teaming it with a knitted tie.
This Nike Tech Fleece sweatshirt is priced at `4500
Keep up with time
W a t c h es
Pick a watch like you pick your friends... carefully. Here are a few of
the new watches that you can consider buying.
THE POSH
ChairosTMGrand Prix Watch

`50,000, www.qnetindia.in
tie
Knot Happening
Right tie for the right suit and the right man
Just because those under
dressed colleagues of
yours will frown when they
see you wearing a tie
doesnt mean you burn
yours. Again, a tie not only
adds class to your daily
suit, but it also makes you
feel confident. And you
dont necessarily need to

team it with a coat, a tie
goes equally well with a
cardigan or v-neck sweater,
or a casual Friday jacket.
These ties from

Corneliani are priced
at `8000 each
THE CLASSY
Salvatore Ferragamo Lungarno

Christmas Edition watch
`1,35,000, www.ferragamo.com
THE rough n tough
h ow to
ro c k i t
Timex Marathon T5K421

Digital Watch
`1500, www.indiarush.com
Match your tie with a suit

that goes well with the
material of your tie. One
cant be cotton and other
satin.
Quite a good one

at this price point
Court a victory
so c c er s h oes
These new soccer shoes

from Adidass Samba
collection are favoured by
the likes of Oscar, Mesut
Ozil and Fernando Torres,
and is designed to deliver
outstanding ball control,
touch, accuracy and power.
fhmindia.com
So if you are a soccer

enthusiast who has been
putting off football, some
new kit should do the trick.
The Adidas Predator

soccer boots are
priced at `12,000
fhmindia fhmindia
December 2013
111
Warm Up!
B l a z ers
Two blazers that are good to wear tonight for the office party, or to the client
meet tomorrow, or even at the weekend date with that new intern.
h ow to
ro c k i t
Pair it with one of those
straight fit denims or
khakis and youll be ready
to rick the world.
`10,000, Monte Carlo Paltine
`60,000, Paul Smith
Chain Up
face the wind
Cold outside,
hot inside
Its beginning to get
cold outside, which
probably means
some prick in the
accounts team
would switch off the
air conditioning
every 6 minutes,
but you freeze off
your nipples by the
time you get your
car in the parking.
What you need is a
windbreaker to tide
you over. Try on this
one from Adidas.
Switching Sides
t h e g re a t sw i t c h
Want to carry five different sunglasses at one go?

These unisex sunglasses come with five different
pairs of glasses, which can be changed according to the
climate or occasion.
Switchbacks by Maui Jim are priced at `15,400
FHM
LOVES
Price at `5000
`4000, Burton
112
December 2013
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w a ys to we a r
Dress Down Dudes
tees a n d s h oes
Polos
FHM
LOVES
Wearing a polo is
not as mundane as
you think
BUTTON IT TO
THE TOP
(Indie/Prep Look)
Match them with slim fit or
straight fit denims.
Never Tuck It In
(Unless you were born in

the Sixties or are American)
Even if you are wearing a nice
jacket, dont tuck it. It just
doesnt look nice.
Lighten up the
day
Tee by Captain KYSO;

Shoes by Language
Green is certainly not the colour
of the night, but during the day it
looks just right.
Tee: `500 (variable), www.
captainkyso.com; Shoes `4000
Dawn of
the dead
Tee by Jack and Jones; Shoes

by Egle and Louis Alberti
In love with large graphics? This
tee is tailor made for you. Team
this with leather moccasins
and a bomber.
Tee, `1500, Shoes: `8290
Time To Shine
polo p a ls
A knit
in time
Tee by Paul Smith;

Shoes by AurumCo
White laces on a black shoe
wasnt cool earlier, but now it is.
Pair it with the nutty t-shirt.
Tee, `6500; Shoes: `7500
Pick The Right Size
(Else dont)
Before buying a polo, check the
size chart. Its very important. You
cant really go wrong with the fit
when you are wearing a polo.
Polos are the safest best when it

comes to classy style.
Polos are for safe players, people who dont want

to experiment but are keen on colours. The best
part of polo tees are that these are fit for both the
work place and also for the post office party at the
neighbourhood bar. These tees are made of 100%
Pique Fabric, which is quite comfortable to wear.
Also, the colour doesnt fade even after repeated
washes.
The polos by Tshirt Company are priced
at `900. www.tshirtcompany.in
Suit the occasion
(Polos are versatile)

If its a work day, team it with a
dark trouser, well fitted denims
work too.
Polo tips by Malini Menon, Tshirt Company
fhmindia.com
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December 2013
113
the fhm Tabas

In a not for weak-hearted feature, fhm spends the month tasting and
judging pepper sauces.
the
Boss
THE
BRAND
Palo Alto Fire Fighters
Dabur CApsico
Perhaps, the most iconic pepper

sauce brand available today. Its
popularity is overridden by the
saying If its hot pepper sauce,
its got to be Tabasco.
The brand, in its almost two decades old history,

has made quite a name in the hot pepper sauce
league. And this hot pepper sauce actually sells like
hot cakes.
This new brand is by Dabur India and its nothing but

a cheap imitation of the original Tabasco.
THE
BOTTLE
The brand is recognisable from

its slender bottle. And is still
modelled after the cologne style
bottles used for its first batch in
the year 1868.
A very different bottle from the lot. It

reminds us of a miniature Jim Beam bottle,
which we definitely fancy.
When we say cheap iteration, we mean it.

The bottle and branding is almost
identical to that of Tabasco, isnt it?
THE
TASTE
Needless to say, it has a very

balanced and mild taste,
which is proven by the
ever-growing usage of the
brands pepper sauce.
This ones called Firefighter for a reason

and is by far the hottest hot pepper
sauce. Plus, its damn addictive.
If you are looking for a HOT pepper

sauce, then this is definitely NOT worth
trying. The taste seems tangy at first,
but easily fades away in a hurry.
THE
VERDICT
114
Mc Ilhenny Co.
December 2013
A+
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D
fhmindia.com
U P G R A D E S au c y c h r o n i c l es
co chronicles
American Garden
Tapatio
Sainsbury is the second largest supermarket chain in

the United Kingdom manufacturing a line of
in-house brands. While the supermarket doesnt
operate in India, the sauce is available.
A fairly new brand to hit the exhaustive pepper sauce

market. The brand is well known for its food and
grocery products.
Though only four decades old, the brand got its

share of the limelight only after Frito Lay released a
line of Tapatio flavoured Doritos, Ruffles and Fritos.
With quite minimalist labelling and a graphic

of chilies on the front, this bottle too
references Tabasco. The only visible difference
is the long neck of the cologne-styled bottle.
This one has a body similar to that of Tabasco,

but with a longer neck. The branding looks
awful with a mix of green duck-tape type
bottle cover and red logo branding .
With a strikingly similar bottle texture to

Tabasco, hot sauce patrons can easily be
fooled by looking at this one if they dont
focus on the branding.
On tasting it you feel quite a sharp hit of

vinegar and then a combination of citrusy
lemon and garlic tones, earning it a
classification of a medium hot pepper sauce.
Despite being served in an ugly looking

bottle, this sauce has a tangy taste. And
coupled with bits of Tabasco peppers, it
should definitely find a place in your kitchen.
Try this for an explosive burst of

flavours. It is sweet, tangy and a little
spicy all at the same time making it
a perfectly addictive combination.
B
fhmindia.com
B-
fhmindia fhmindia
B+
Sainsburys
December 2013
115
Man Thing
time to
Here is a selection of mens boots, were

rather moderately dubbing Great.
reboot
UPGRADE boots
Dont just buckle-up...

A pair of boots with zips, like this one
from Liberty, is the best thing that
can happen to people who dont have
several pairs of shoes, or aspire to be
mithun da.
Levis
CAT
`7000
`11500
FHM
LOVES
wildcraft
Yellow boot by Timberland
woods
tommy hilfiger
WoodLand
WoodLand
`3500
LIBERTY
`4000
`10000
`9000
WoodLand
`5500
`3300
1. Chukka
fhmindia.com
2. Chelsea
Popularised by the Beatles in the sixties,

these boots, also called Dealer Boots, go
really well with slim-fitted suits.
`4500
There is nothing
wrong in tucking in
your denim inside your
boots, but make sure
your boots are worth
the show.
Know your boots... Gentlemen
Also popular as the turf boots and bucks,

the Chukka Boot looks good with a solid
coloured shirt and straight denims.
`12,000
3. Cowboy (western boots)
If you are going to wear an Oxford shirt

with a slim boot cut denim, Cowboy boots
are the way to go.
fhmindia fhmindia
4. Hiking boots
These provide amazing support to your

ankle, and if you are one of those outdoor
activity type of guy, go for it.
December 2013
Compiled By: Kumar Saurav
woods
`9500
117
UPGRADE girlfriend
scan this page
for more pictures
of rinks
On why she
has more
bikinis than
shirts
whoS
she?
Full Name Rina
Charaniya
Lives in
Mumbai
Occupation
Actor
118
December 2013
It has not been a rollercoaster

ride for her in Mumbai, but
Rina Charaniya aka Rinks the
20-something pretty girl from
Gujarat seems intent on finding
her place in the sun, no matter
how small. Her last role was
blink-n-miss in the dud
Policegiri (she played Prachi
Desais friend).
What makes you feel sexy?
My attitude and my looks.
How many bikinis do you have
in you wardrobe?
Hmm, there are many, but I havent
counted them really. Now that you
have asked me, maybe Ill go and
count them.
In what colours?
There are a variety of colours, but
my personal favourite is sky blue.
What are you most comfortable
in?
Hot pants and T-shirt.
When was the last time you
found yourself too hot to
handle?
Call it self-obsession or whatever
else, but I always find myself hot.
What was going on in your mind
when you were getting this
photo shoot done?
I dont keep anything in my mind
when Im shooting for a prestigious
brand like yours. Why jam my head
with eerie thoughts instead of going
fhmindia fhmindia
fhmindia.com
Call it
self-obsession
or whatever
else, but I always
find myself hot.
fhmindia.com
Words: Kumar Saurav; Photographer: Rohan Gandotra; Agency: La Modelz Management & Productions
out and enjoying a lovely photo

shoot?
Are you as naughty in real life as
in these pictures?
Yes, Im naughty, but not negative,
and harmlessly so. (Giggles)
What is more important to you
than yourself?
Bringing smiles to others.
What kind of things do you like
to do?
Acting, acting and nothing but
acting.
Who do you look upto?
Ektaa Kapoor. I love her for her
achievements in a supposedly maledominated quadrangle. Shes fierce,
but positively aggressive, both
business and creativity wise. Shes
an inspiring force for many girls
trying to make it big in their careers.
Who are the men you find
irresistible?
Ranbir Kapoor. Hmm I cant really
disclose the names of my other
fantasy men. (Giggles again)
What attracts you to a man?
I like good-looking men who are
honest, and have pleasant
personality.
If you were a fruit, what would
you have liked to be?
Strawberry.
Hmm... with ot without
whipped cream?
Always with.
fhmindia fhmindia
December 2013
119
9 PEOPLE YOU DONT WANT TO sit NEXT TO ON PUBLIC TRANSPORT
Anyone over
100 kgs
People struggle with weight
issues for all kinds of reasons:
perhaps they have a weird hormonal
problem, or maybe they resemble
Tuntun because their uncle tried
to kiss them when they were 12.
Nobody wants to be morbidly
super-obese, and its mean to mock
the afflicted. But saying that
if theres anything more shudderinducing than feeling jiggling
blubber press against your arm,
weve yet to experience it.
Your recent ex
Why is she on this train, in this
carriage? As she clocks you,
both your hearts sink. Itd be weird
if she sat by you, but even weirder
if she didnt. So you end up sharing
a seemingly endless journey that
makes you want to die of fistbiting awkwardness and one-sided
inappropriate horniness.
A 4-year-old boy
Few things are more nervejangling than a small boy. If
hes not playing ADHD Warriorz at
full fucking volume on his 3DS, hes
squawking at his knackered mum to
give him another fistful of candy,
or elbowing you in the ribs while
doing his hilarious pterodactyl
impression. Our advice? When
nobodys looking, lean in and
hiss, Santa Claus isnt real, yknow.
Thatll give him something
to contemplate.
09
The local
loonbag
Every local loonbag follows the same basic template:

a nickname that sums up their behaviour (Jimmy
The Dancer, Screechy Dave etc), plus a tragi-comic
back story (his parents were brother and sister and he
lives in the park toilets etc). If your local loonbag
plonks themselves down next to you, brace yourself
for a genuinely traumatic few minutes.
120
December 2013
Anyone whos more

drunk than you
On the late night metro,
pretty much every passenger is on a
sliding scale that runs from quite
drunk to catastrophically pissed.
No matter how wazzocked you are,
theres always someone in a far
worse condition. Keep well away,
unless you want to be slept/wept/
dribbled/hit on.
Your bus crushs

new boyfriend
Whenever you catch the
number 503, shes on it: a vision
of beauty in a Boots uniform, with
fhmindia fhmindia
a serious Candy Crush habit that

makes her swear under her breath,
all cute like. But today, shes got on
with some guy. Who the fuck is he?
Shit, hes sitting next to you. Argh,
shes on his lap. Theyre giggling.
Hes rubbing her knee. Shes
whispering in his ear. Make it stop.
Makeitstopmakeitstop!
A chatty old-timer
Its easy to halt a strangers
misguided chattiness: oneword answers, phone-fiddling and
glaring out the window normally
does it. But youd have to be stonecold heartless to shrug off some
lonely old chuffer when he leans
over to inform you that hes off to
visit his late wifes grave to lay down
the tragic bunch of 24-hour-garage
chrysanthemums hes gripping. Hell
have you fighting back tears within
three stops.
You, with a
hangover
You drank eight pints last
night and now you look, feel and
smell like a dead horses nutsack. So
you have a 20-minute shower, lather
on deodorant, brush your teeth
twice, swallow some mouthwash,
squirt on some aftershave. Pointless,
all of it. Within seconds of leaving
the house, your hangover seeps
back through your pores and up
out of your throat, leaving the poor
stranger next to you inhaling a
manky fog of stale beer, fag-butts
and partially vommed kebab.
A stag dos
Stag dos are an amazing laugh
when youre on one, and mindscrapingly annoying if youre merely
forced to sit in the vicinity of one on
a trip to Europe during a lengthy
train journey. Unless, of course, you
enjoy watching pissed-at-10am
blokes in wigs cackling and
screaming tiresome in-jokes at each
other while pretending to bum an
inflatable sheep in which case, fill
yer boots...
See you next
month
fhmindia.com
DCP No. DELENG 17964

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december 2013 / ` 100

The man who

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the time to impress her with your

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Even the most high-flying

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and in a few minutes youll have a

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Price: `5.05 - 5.62 cr

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Considering the high

While Indian police is still

Just like South African

The Germans, like the

tamil nadu Police

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The best officers in New

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