Nate Caldwell

Zack De Piero
ENG 101-108
October 26, 2016
Unexplainable Explanations
When people think of suicide, writing is usually the last thing that comes to mind. There
are plenty of reasons as to why but it's just a first reaction thought. There are plenty of events
that people deal with throughout life that they believe won't require any reading or writing,
especially if it's more of a physical activity. The truth behind it all is that there is writing for
everything we do. So when I mentioned suicide, you may have automatically assumed that this
piece would be on a person's suicide story, survivor or otherwise. For all those who were
confused and hurt, this may not explain why but hopefully it helps to dig deeper for
understanding.
First off, I'm sure as adults that we've all heard, seen, or basically had encounters --whether it
be ourselves or someone we know-- with suicide. When it's mentioned, it not only plummets a
person's attitude but clouds their mind from understanding. It's never easy to understand why
suicide was felt to be the last resort. For the person who's fighting off the thought, there's
usually one final way to be heard or seen. There are few agreeable reasons a person would
want to take their own life but what are they? In my opinion, not being heard out when in pain or
suffering can be a deal breaker for some. This raises the question of, "How would they be heard
if they took their life?". The answer to that is writing.
When a suicide note is brought to light, there are several components that can be distinguished
between that letter and one from a previous life that was lost. One may ask, "but these people
have nothing in common so how could they write in similar fashions?" Everyone is unique in
their own way, yes. But when attempting to deliver a similar message, whether the wording or
format is different, the same concepts can be seen.

Commented [1]: Nate, a couple of thoughts:

-I don't know what, specifically, you'll be arguing in this
paper. Most readers are going to be looking for that
towards the end of your Intro in a "research-based
thesis driven argument" (i.e., this type of paper, which
is its own unique genre!). What claims will you be
making? What genres will you be analyzing?
The more direction you give me from the start, the
easier it'll be for me to follow you throughout your
paper.
Commented [2]: I'd like you to reduce this to 1
sentence -- maybe 2 lines. Cut the fluff. Get right to
the example genres that you found and start analyzing.
Jump right into your argument.

Here are two examples of suicide notes that both convey a similar message. As you can see,
neither writer was a famous author that had their works published. These were two normal
citizens who struggled with their voices being heard so they turned to writing. I could post 100+
suicide notes and be able to point out the approaches they used. As you see, the opener to the
first letter says "family". There are a couple things we can gather from this alone. When opening
up a letter with "family", it's safe to say that there will be emotions felt while reading this. As I
read on, I realized that emotions would be felt but the approach is what caught my attention.
He/She goes on to write that "I don't blame any of you for disowning me I just can't be a burden
to you and my friends anymore." When I broke this down, I felt like their initial appeal for pathos
was already met. It was when this individual addressed their friends that stood out to me. The
first move they made was addressing their family and that's a pattern that's usually followed
when writing these. When I realized that they also addressed their friends, I wondered if any of
the people mentioned at the end of the letter following the "I love you ____" were any of their

Commented [3]: Nate, I want to see you use topic

sentences to clearly preview what -- specifically -- this
paragraph will be about. Right now, I"m wondering:
OK, you're saying that they have "messages," but what
does that mean? Are you going to be discussing
*conventions*??
(I haven't read through the whole piece yet, but it
seems to me that you're not maximizing your use of our
course vocab.)
Commented [4]: Such as? Tie this to *textual
evidence.* Help me SEE what you want me to see.
Commented [5]: OK, great! Is it worth slowing down
just a bit and explaining/describing how this can be an
effective rhetorical tactic?
Commented [6]: Yes! Also great. "Moves" are pretty
important -- is it worth devoting a whole paragraph to
their moves? (Right now, you just kinda snuck it in
there.... I think you can squeeze more intellectual juice
out of it.)

friends or strictly family. When these pieces are written, wording and tone are everything. By
reading this in the place of the writer, it can become more clear who's being addressed and
what the message is they're trying to send.
When reading these types of letters, it's difficult for the reader to understand the writing
considering the situation. For whichever party in relation to the victim that reads these may try to
skim as a way of racing through a dense jungle. They keep their heads down and barrel through
the piece and avoid understanding why it was written. In all honesty, most of the letters are
never completely read because of the emotional impact they hold. In most cases, pre and post
reading, the parties associated with the victim use what Shelley Reid identified as Believing
and Doubting(3&4). The concept of this method is very relevant but delivered differently.
Sometimes, yes, you'll find the thoughts or reflections of the loved ones who wanted to
understand. But in most cases, especially during the grief stage, the thoughts and feelings are
mainly first order and spoken among those affected(Elbow 55).
As for the second note, this approach was completely different but the same appeal is met even
with different jargon being used. It's safe to assume that the individual who wrote this was a
poet or spent a lot of time doing deep thinking. That statement is shallow, yes. But when I read
this letter, the opening line sent chills up spine. "My soul has left my body now" is the opening
line and a very unique way to begin their goodbyes. The way this letter was written, worded and
even the tone caught my attention. Well how do I know that this was a poem style suicide note?
Is it the font? Is the way it was written in pairs of 2? Or was it the choice of words? All of these
played a part but that simply won't work when determining a style of writing or it's purpose for
being written hence rendering your understanding of the text. When I read these types of
notes/letters, I tried to imagine that I was the person writing it. Being able to personally involve
yourself for a better understanding is usually the most painful but most efficient way of reading
these pieces.
Every time you get ready to read something, you've already determined how you're going to
read it. In my last writing, I expressed different ways that people will approach different
readings. When it comes to suicide notes/letters, there are no shortcuts wanted or needed. The
parties who are deciding whether or not to read these letters have the hardest time choosing if
they want to know why or not. Basically, skimming through these writings will never be
acceptable and the reason for it being written will be missed entirely. These pieces require time
and full attention when being read. These letters are the last thing a person-- friend, family, or
even stranger-- has left to this world before making their exit. As a respect to them, these pieces
should be taken seriously and read with the emotion that was intended.
After reading the two examples shown above, I'm pretty confident in the idea that nobody would
want to have to read a suicide note/letter. For those who know for a fact that they don't, there
are ways to help those around you. In this new age, the internet and social media are
everything, see everything, and hold everything. If you can spot early signs, then take the
initiative to help that person. There are plenty of ways to help someone rethink their decision.
Suicide prevention lines are placed everywhere in the hope that someone will use them.

Commented [7]: What do you mean by this? Can you

support this in the texts/letters themselves?
Also, does this support your main argument? (I'm not
really sure what your main argument is...)

Commented [8]: Do you know this? I doubt it. Stick to

what you DO know and what you CAN prove.
Commented [9]: I like how you're bringing this up, but
I'm not clear on how/why tjhey use this technique. Can
you give me an example?

Commented [10]: Nate, we talked about this in class,

so I'm not sure what happened here -- you only
analyzed *1 genre*. The assignment calls for 2.
I'm interested in how readers come to understand
suicide through 2 different genres: suicide notes and
_____.... what's that second one?
Commented [11]: So I need to expand more on the
suicide prevention paragraph at the end of the paper?

Everywhere we go, there are prevention lines that provide information on suicide and how to
assist someone if you come across them. When seeking advice on how to help someone in
need, it's as simple as visiting different links and websites that may have experience in the field.

Commented [12]: Nate: I want you to adhere to the

standard conventions of a "Works Cited" page. If
you're not familiar, a quick Google search will give you
examples of what they should look like.

Works Cited
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/file/omaha-gunman-suicide-notes
https://www.pinterest.com/alwaysfine/suicide-note/
https://afsp.org
http://www.sprc.org

ENG 101-108 Feedback Matrix for WP1

Table of Textual Features and Qualities

Did Not Meet
Expectations
Thesis Statement

Use of Textual Evidence from

Genres

XXX

Use of Course Readings

Met
Expectations

Analysis

Organization/Structure

X/X-

Attention to Genre/Conventions
and Rhetorical Factors

Main Focus was Placed on the

Writing Itself and the Writers
Choices (Rather than the Topic)

Exceeded
Expectations

Sentence-level Clarity, Mechanics,

Flow
Comments and Grade

Nate,
The first comment I want to make here is: what happened
to your 2nd genre? You chose suicide notes (2 examples of
them) as your 1st, but what was your 2nd? Thats a crucial
part of the assignment. If, for some reason, you got the
impression that I was OK with just 1 genre, I think there
was a miscommunicationyouve absolutely got to have
both. Different genres could give you 2 different
perspectives on this issue (suicide), and thats what I want
you to find out.
Here are some other thoughts:
-I want you to make a lot more use of our course concepts.
Pathos came up super-briefly, as did moves. Tell me
more about themand about others too. Use our course
concepts as the main ideas that drive your analysis and
thinking.
-I also need you to use more textual evidence. You need to
help me SEE what it is that you want me to see. I need
you to connect your claims (about how people write about
suicide) to the actual documents youve collected.
-Lastly, and most importantly, I need you to craft a supercrisp and super-clear thesis statement that captures your
argument. This whole paper/assignment is one big
argumentwhat is your argument here?
These are all tough questions, but theyre important, Nate.
And this is difficult, but its a part of the process. Youre a
real smart dude, and I know you can do this. When the
portfolio comes around, you need to (1) find another genre
about suicide (besides suicide notes) and then (2) figure out
what your main argument is and then (3) use textual
evidence from the genres to back up your points/claims.
You got this, and please remember: Im here to help
however I can.

KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK.

Z
14/20