Running head: The Myths Of Bullying

The Myths of Bullying

Suffolk Community College

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The Myths of Bullying

In the article, The Myths of Bullying by John Cloud, bullying is described as an

exaggerated epidemic. Cloud presents details of high-profile cases including; the school
shooting at Chardon High School and a suicide at Rutgers University. The aforementioned
school tragedies suggest that the widespread international attention that these cases have
obtained have cemented in public opinion (Cloud, 2012) the idea that bullying has taken on a
persistent upward trend in the United States. Furthermore, he attests that the drastic measures
immediately implemented to prevent bullying in school districts have also contributed to the
overwhelming fear among parents and students alike, that bullying is an absolute growing
epidemic.
Research findings contradict the idea that bullying is a spreading plague or on the rise
each year (Cloud, 2012). According to the U.S. Department of Justice, 37 percent of students
reported that they do not feel safe while attending school because of bullying (Cloud, 2012).
According to Rathus (2015), school phobia is defined as fear of school or of refusal to go to
school due to feelings about the environment as, unpleasant, unsatisfying, or hostile, and it
may be the case as in the case of bullying (Rathus, 2015). However, since these statistical
findings remained steady over many recent years, it can be stressed that bullying is actually not
on the rise.
In the article, Why Our Approach to Bullying is Bad for Kids by Susan Porter, the term
bullying is further explored. Specifically, Porter explains that there is not a rise in incidents
of bullying but instead the expansion of the definition of the term has come to now include

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behavior once deemed normal childhood behaviors, to be viewed as pathological and

dangerous (Porter, 2013).
Porter (2013) discovered the following regarding bullying: The term had come to
include not only the classic forms of harassment between children, behaviors such
as shaking down a kid for lunch money, beating up a smaller kid in the schoolyard,
or a repeated hate speech. Now, it also included behaviors such as social
exclusion, name-calling, teasing, sarcasm, and being unfriendly (Porter, 2013).

The idea that the act of bullying involves an alleged bully and a victim, is demystified in
Clouds article. According to Psychologists, those who are bullied at some point in their life are
expected to retaliate and seek revenge for the torments bestowed upon them in a school setting or
on a social network (Cloud, 2012).
Following the horrific bullying tragedies, both stringent and costly anti-bullying laws
have been instated (Cloud, 2012). The protocol for reporting even a suspected act of bullying
requires that any school official first report the incident. Eventually the complaint ends up in the
accused students file, possibly affecting the childs ability to achieve a higher education at any
state university. School administrators are also required to train their employees to recognize the
signs of bullying among students and learn what measures to take in order to prevent bullying
from occurring. Although to date, no research has been presented to indicate the exact amount of
funds needed to implement the new legislation, the anti-bullying law does not seem to factor in
the size of school districts. For example, Warren County asserts that the new law will cost
$6,000 even though the township has only 427 students (Cloud, 2012). Furthermore, some
school districts have reported that there are not enough funds to hire/ assign an administrator,

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whom is responsible for actually investigating any acts of reported physical or cyber bullying
within a 24-hour period in accordance with state legislation.
According to some researchers, bullying in schools is an issue which, in spite of a strong
body of research literature, and government guidance designed to reduce bullying, continues to
affect an estimated 50%-80% of young people (Slide and Johnson, 2014). Some researchers
have postulated that in order to help alleviate the issues surrounding bullying, it would be ideal
to target those indirectly involved. In other words, friends or classmates who may witness any
form of bullying should be encouraged to intervene, specifically, these bystanders should
understand that saying something about what [they] see isnt always tattling (Cloud, 2012). In
an article written by, Slide and Johnson (2014) an ideal anti-bullying policy is one which id
personalized, such that it includes what the children and young people of the school feel is
bullying behavior, and also emphasizes that it is the responsibility of everyone the whole school
community to report any instance of bullying to an appropriate adult or educator (Slide and
Johnson, 2014).
Furthermore, Principal Robin Lowe states that cool kids are not always the bully and
outcasts are not always the victim in a bullying incident. For example, according to Lowe,
99.9% of parents initially distressed about terrible comments made by one student about their
child, may later become shocked when they are presented with the degrading words produced
by their own regarding another student. Thus, Lowe emphasizes that most of us are both bully
and victim and bystanders of bullying should learn to do their part and take responsibility and
say something if they see something (Cloud, 2012).

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Despite the negative effects associated with bullying, I believe that there is no real
widespread, epidemic regarding bullying. Society has exaggerated the incidence of bullying
events and influenced parents thinking, thus causing them to succumb to the belief that normal
school-age interactions are indeed bullying. In my opinion, the expanded definition of bullying is
too broad. Kids should not be punished for behaviors that they do not understand. Students
should receive more education instead of harsh punishments. Ultimately, I feel a positive
approach should be implemented in the schools, such that all parties feel heard resulting in
change and growth.
Although, I can understand that those who are bullied may experience increased
difficulties in succeeding in school, or other traumatic symptoms compared to their non-bullied
peers, (Slide and Johnson, 2014). However, I strongly believe it is counterproductive for
educators or state legislature, to label a child as a bully or indirectly make it more difficult for
those bullies to attend a state university. Firstly, I do not believe that it is possible for
witnesses of an incident to always get the story straight or to obtain all of the facts behind any
incident involving kids. It is possible that all parties involved are actually equally responsible for
the hurtful things that were said or conducted. Secondly, I believe that everyone has the ability to
change, especially children and we should not superimpose on the childhood brain an adult-like
capacity for intent and self-control (Porter, 2013).
I believe that labeling a child as a bully by placing it in their file, has the potential to
cause more harm. According to Porter (2013), children cant see beyond concrete and, so they
will take labels like a bully or a victim and run with them, usually to their own detriment
(Porter, 2013). For example, if a child accepts the bully label and decides to identify with it, he
or she may act in accordance with what he or she perceives to be how a bully should behave. In

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essence, the painful dynamics that occur among children become carved in stone (Porter,
2013). Furthermore, students learning that their educational goals may be inhibited, may begin
to build-up anger and eventually lash out seeking revenge.
To help alleviate the burden on school districts to depend solely on anti-bullying
programs in the classroom, parents should also make attempts to be aware of what their child is
doing in school and online. Parents should be less close-minded about what they think their child
is capable of doing and simply take precaution by assuming that their child has the potential to
be both, the aggressor and the victim. This could help prevent actual incidents among other
children from taking place once the child reaches the classroom. Furthermore, while in the
classroom, I believe that teachers should implement methods that are simple and practical. For
example, just stating or reminding students at the start of a class session that put-downs will
not be tolerated in the classroom could make clear to children that educators understand the
issues in their world and cares (Whitson, 2014).
As a parent of a child in middle school, I have witnessed a fair amount of bullying. When
my son, Exavier, was in fifth grade, he was involved in a physical altercation with another
student and was required to go before the school board. Due to the incident that occurred his seat
in the school was being jeopardized. His teacher was able to support Exaviers story that he was
constantly being bullied and finally got fed up and acted out on his frustration. He was able to
return to school while the other student was assigned to out of school suspension. Although, the
student was punished and the bullying never actually stopped, I do not believe this student
should be labeled a bully. I believe that we should not ignore when a child torments another
person, however, I agree that mistakes should not result in the children receiving labels that

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limit our ability (and possibly our desire) to help them develop into responsible adults (Porter,
2013).
As a parent, I found it important to have conversations with my child and help him find
alternative coping mechanisms for dealing with this harassment. As a parent, I felt it was
important to let nature take its course. I never went up to my sons school demanding for
meetings with the principal or claiming that my child was an angel. I felt that it was important
that I did not label my child as a victim, and I did not want Exavier to identify himself as one
either, despite the very hurtful things said towards or about him. I did keep an open dialogue
about the conflicts he experienced and sometimes checked him, if I felt that he may have
responded in a negative manner. Eventually, the bullying did seem to stop towards him as the
kids matured. In fact, these boys are now all best friends and respect each other.
Once bullied, Exavier now tells me stories of how he sees other kids get picked on and
bullied at school. He tells me that it is hard for him to do something about it because he does not
want to be a snitch. He tells me stories about how he will approach the victim and try and
help him/her believe that things will get better. He tells me that he does not always remember to
say something, but he always remembers to tell me when he does get the chance to help these
students believe that everything will be OK. At this point, I have made attempts to encourage
Exavier to report these incidents to his teachers, however, I am proud that he does not act as a
typical bystander and simply laugh at or ignore the situation. I believe that he is taking an active
role in helping his peers cope with the situation or at least making clear that someone cares about
them.

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I am relieved that steps were taken to resolve the situation involving my son, however, I
feel that the goal of educators and parents alike should be to educate students and when an
incident does occur, we should facilitate change. It should not be an option for teachers to do
everything they can, to serve as positive role models for our kids at all times, even if it means the
lecture they planned is delayed 2 minutes.

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References

Cloud, J. (2012). The Myths of Bullying. Time, 179(10), 40-43.

PORTER, S. (2013). WHY OUR APPROACH TO BULLYING IS BAD FOR KIDS.
Independent School, 72(2), 72-78.
Rathus, S. A. (2015). HDEV (4th Edition.). Belmont, CA: Wadsworth Cengage Learning
Side, J., & Johnson, K. (2014). Bullying in schools: why it happens, how it makes
young people feel and what we can do about it. Educational Psychology In Practice,
30(3), 217-231. doi:10.1080/02667363.2014.915209
Whitson, S. (2015). Bringing an End to Bullying. Reclaiming Children & Youth, 24(1),
50-54.