As I came out of the bathroom, I noticed all of my friends huddled together

around the kitchen counter. Some spared frightened glances at me as I came out, but the

others were too busy whispering amongst each other to notice me. Until I got closer.

A bunch of girls hooted. “Hey, what’s so funny?” I asked unsteadily as I got closer

to them.

Some girls looked anxiously at me. Most of them stepped away from the huddle

and let me in.

“Oh, nothing,” said Kailee, her laugh simpering to a smile. To everyone, she

asked, “So what movie should we watch tonight?”

The girls started talking at once, some louder than others. The rental tapes were

snatched up, along with the bowls of popcorn and chips, and everyone started towards

the living room where our sleeping bags were.

Rebecca hung back. She didn’t say anything, just stayed back to walk beside me.

We went to our little corner of the room that we’d staked out away from the main group

of girls and settled in our bags, watching the others.

I couldn’t fight the feeling that those girls had been talking about me. I had never

been popular in school, and I was surprised, like anyone would be, when Kailee and

Vicky invited the majority of the girls in our class for a sleepover once school had ended

for the year. I was fourteen and we were all going to high school next year, so I assumed

the two popular girls wanted to celebrate by including almost everyone in their

sleepover.

Both Kailee and Vicky lived outside of town, but for some reason, they went to

our school instead of one closer. They had never paid much attention to me, and like the

rest of the unpopular kids, I had been the brunt of their jokes and mocking. I’d tried to
bear it well, which was why I’d agreed to coming to this sleepover in the first place. But I

think both Rebecca and I felt too out of place to stay.

A fit of giggles erupted from some girls in the opposite corner to us. I fought not

to look their way to see if they were talking about me, or us, and concentrated on what

movie some of the girls had decided on.

Vicky popped the tape into the VCR. Everyone scrambled into their bags and

generally ignored us. Rebecca leaned back onto her elbows, sighing. A romantic comedy.

Fun.

We watched the movie for an hour in almost silence, except for a few outbursts of

sarcasm from one of the girls. Then Kailee’s mom yelled as she entered the house,

“Kailee, turn that down!”

Kailee paused the video and got up to follow her mom to another room. We could

hear them arguing, so some of the girls began talking with each other.

Rebecca leaned into me. “I think I’m gonna leave soon,” she told me.

“Yeah?” I asked. I wasn’t surprised. Leaving had been on my mind too.

“Yeah. My mom will come and get me. I’m just gonna go call her. Do you want

Mom to drive you home too?”

I wanted to jump at the chance of leaving this house. But part of me balked at

running away the moment I’d just been included. So I said, “No, I think I’ll stay.”

Rebecca nodded. “Well, tell me if anything good happens.” Kailee came back into

the room and Rebecca asked her if she could use the phone.

“Sure,” Kailee said. Rebecca left for the kitchen. Then Kailee said, loud enough

that I could hear, “Thanks for having fun at my party, bitch.”

 Some of the girls snickered. My blood raced in anger and I wanted to retort. But

the girls were talking amongst themselves and paying no attention to me, and they

didn’t seem to be talking about Rebecca, so I let it pass. The less attention I drew to

myself, the better the night would be. Probably.

Rebecca’s mom rang the bell when she arrived, and Kailee paused the movie as

everyone said goodbye to her politely. I noticed it was raining hard outside as Rebecca

left. Then the door closed behind her and I felt doomed. The impulse to leave was

getting stronger.

I moved my sleeping bag closer to the group, but hardly anyone noticed. Kailee

started the video again. I tried concentrating on the movie, but the plot was making me

tired. Everything was ridiculous and cliché, and my eyelids flickered in trying to take an

interest in it.

When I opened my eyes wider, I noticed movement in the hallway. Kailee’s mom

had paused at the banister of the stairs to look into the room. She looked at each of the

girls, then her eyes settled on me.

I don’t know what it was: maybe the set of her face or the look in her eyes, but I

felt a shiver race down my back. I looked away and noticed Kailee was looking at me too.

She was frowning, but not like she felt any sympathy for me getting the thousand-mile

glare from her mother.

I forced my attention back to the screen. I heard her mother continue on upstairs.

A door slammed. My instincts were yelling: run! I didn’t want to. It felt stupid knowing

that one of the popular girls’ mother freaked me out. If Kailee realized I had left her

party because of her mother, she would taunt me for sure.

 Kailee started whispering to Vicky. I looked over as I heard my name. They

glanced at me, wicked twists in their lips. Not quite a sneer, but close. My instincts

screamed louder. I tried concentrating on the movie again, but I couldn’t understand

what was going on. All I thought about was Kailee’s mother’s look, and the whispering of

the girls, which seemed to have gotten louder.

Some of the girls who weren’t part of the whispering glanced at me, frowning.

When Kailee and some others giggled, my courage ran out. I got up and went into the

kitchen to call my parents without asking for Kailee’s permission.

My hands shook as I dialled my number. I moved so that no one inside the living

room could see me, and settled against a counter, cradling the phone against my ear.

The phone rang for too long before the line clicked and my mother’s voice came over the

phone.

“Can you guys pick me up?” I asked, my voice wobbling.

“Oh, baby, what’s wrong?” Mom cooed.

“Nothing, I just—I just don’t feel right being here,” I told her.

“Are you sure you can’t tough out the night?” Mom said, after a pause.

I thought about it again. “No,” I said. “I—I want to come home.”

“Well, just a sec.” Mom seemed to muffle the speaker, but I could still hear her as

she called out, “Jas? Lizzy wants to come home now.” I didn’t hear his response, but

Mom sounded annoyed when she continued, “I didn’t think it was a good idea in the

first place.”

There was a pause, and then I couldn’t hear anything. When noise crackled and

Mom came back on, she told me, “We’ll be there in twenty minutes, okay? Can you

survive until then?”

 “I think so,” I replied, feeling intense relief at knowing they were coming.

After she hung up, I went back into the living room as quietly as I could. There

was no easy way to make my getaway without any pain, so I knelt down beside Kailee

and whispered, “My parents are coming to get me.” She nodded, frowning, and I added,

“Thanks for having me over.”

She made a noncommittal reply. I didn’t ask for more. I started rolling up my

sleeping bag, thinking about what a wimp I was and how soon my parents actually were

going to get here in the meantime. When I was finished gathering my stuff, I sat on my

rolled up bag and tried to watch the rest of the movie.

Soon, but not soon enough, the doorbell rang. Kailee got up and opened the door.

My mother came in, smiling beautifully, searching the group of turned heads for me. I

got my stuff and waved awkwardly at everyone as they said goodbye to me politely,

thanked Kailee again, and dashed out the door into the pouring rain.

I stepped back under the porch overhang until Mom joined me. I didn’t look back

as we walked down the driveway to Dad’s Volvo.

“Hey, kid,” Dad greeted as I slid into the backseat.

“Right, let’s go,” Mom said as she closed her door.

The rain pounded hard on the metal roof as we drove. The streets were nearly

empty. The windshield wipers screeched eerily. Mom and Dad talked quietly in the

front, and I tuned them out, staring out my window at the blackness beyond.

What had I been thinking? Accepting the invitation of a popular girl just to prove

myself? Then bolting at the first sign of trouble? I couldn’t help but feel that I really was

a wimp, that I deserved all those sneers from the other girls. I wasn’t a popular girl, and

I didn’t have what it took to be one. I had to just accept that.

 But it still stung. I wanted them to like me, I wanted to hang out with them. I

wanted to go to the mall with Kailee, or go to the movies with Vicky, like everyone else

did. They hung out with the popular boys at recess, and I wanted to do that too. I wanted

to be on the sports teams, talking on MSN about boys, and all the other things popular

girls did. I couldn’t believe I had left my best opportunity to join the crowd when the

going got tough.

I glanced at my parents. Mom was gesturing vehemently, and Dad was close to

shouting. I looked back out the window, grimly. I had even gotten my parents upset.

They’d had to drive all the way out of town just to pick me up because their second

daughter was too much of a wimp to tough out a stupid sleepover.

I wasn’t good enough. I would never be good enough. I would never be as nice as

Rose, as popular as Kailee or Vicky, or as tough as my Mom. Not at all.

“Watch the road!” The command sliced through my misery and I looked up at my

parents. Mom was holding onto the dashboard and Dad was cursing. The car took a

wicked turn to the left and Dad cursed louder. Mom screamed. I had a moment to feel

my body being yanked to the right, seatbelt digging into my stomach and neck, before

my body flew again and everything went dark.

I opened my eyes to silence. I blinked and thought hard. What on earth just

happened? I tried to turn around, but my eyes wouldn’t move. I could only stare

forward, blinking furiously, at the broken windshield and a low-hanging moon that

shone over a darkened field.

The rain had stopped at some point. I wondered when, then I remembered why I

would need to know that. As soon as my brain registered that the rain was gone, my
mind went into panic. With a grunt, I willed my head to move to the side, to see how Jas

and Lizzy were doing.

There was blood everywhere. I realized I could hear it dripping even, or maybe

that was water coming down from the roof. I saw Jasper leaning over the steering wheel,

and at first, I thought, maybe he’s asleep. His eyes were open and staring at me, and I

couldn’t figure out why. I tried to think back. Did he ever sleep with his eyes open? I

couldn’t remember.

Then I realized that a huge chunk of the windshield had sliced his back. His body

was laying over the steering wheel and blood was pouring out of him. As soon as I saw

that, I realized that his eyes were glassy. Dead.

He was dead.

I tried to say his name, but I couldn’t open my mouth. I could only whimper. I

tried to twist around to see into the backseat where Liz was, but I couldn’t move.

Something heavy and sharp was weighing me down. I looked and saw the dashboard

and the engine sitting on top of me. The whole front of the car had been wrecked

completely. I was nearly crushed.

And trapped. My mouth finally opened and my whimpers got louder. I struggled

to regain control. Maybe this wasn’t as bad as I thought. Maybe at least Liz survived. I

needed to know she did, but I couldn’t turn around, and that panicked me more.

It took several minutes, I think, for me to settle down. I could feel my blood

running over my legs and knew I had only minutes to live. Knowing I was going to die

calmed me down actually. It made me realize what I had to do.

I had to do two things: I had to make sure that Liz stayed alive until help found

us, and I had to make sure that I could break the barrier of the ghost world to do that. So
I summoned what energy I had left into my body. Then I pulled from the earth’s energy,

a new technique from the neo-Pagan movement taking over our world. The earth gave

and gave until my whole body felt warm and fuzzy.

I could feel the dead nearby. I could feel at least two ghosts in the distance. And I

could feel my soul, beginning to detach itself from my body. Soon I would become a

ghost. The energy I pulled from the dead nearby mixed in with the hot energy. I kept it

all within me and said my spell, speaking slowly, loudly, clearly, to ensure that the spell

would catch. Then I blacked out.

Dead.

The world was fuzzy. Hot and cold spots of energy danced in front of my eyes.

They continued swirling there when I opened them and looked around. I was outside of

the car, as I suspected, and I was looking at the passengers inside. I saw my own body.

My head hung over the engine, my body flattened in the seat, Jas’ dead body beside me.

I went to the back window and peered in. Lizzy was sprawled over the backseat.

Somehow, the side of the car had been smashed too. Her head had gotten a good smack,

and there was something wrong with her legs.

I forced myself through the natural barrier of the car. It was a spell Jas had

designed. It kept us safe when we were travelling from any magical interference. As a

ghost, it also kept me from getting into the car without a lot of push. But I made it.

I knelt on the floor and held my hand out over Liz’s head. I put my fingers in

front of her mouth and felt feathery whispers of breath. She was alive. Relief filled me,

and the spiralling energy contained inside me sparked and stung. I controlled my relief

and pulled myself out of the car.

 I walked a ways until I got to the place where Jas had seemed to lose control of

the car. There was nothing on the road, no ice. The water from the rain was pooling on

the side of the road, and I supposed Jas could have hit that and had the car hydroplane,

but I doubted the wreck would have happened like it did if that had been the case.

I moved a little further up and felt something tugging at me. A couple more steps

and... I felt magic. I didn’t have the skills to figure out what type of magic it was, but I

could definitely say that it was magic. Someone had aimed a spell or something like it at

the spot I was standing at. And the spot was in the middle of the lane, about where

Jasper had lost control.

There were fields and forest on either side of the road. I looked around, peering

into the darkness. The moon’s light let me see enough, but there were so many shadows,

a whole army could have been hidden in those trees and I’d never know.

If the accident wasn’t really an accident, then that spell had attached itself to Jas’

car on purpose.

Someone had tried to kill us.

I ran back to the car. I slipped through to make sure that Liz was still breathing,

then I stayed on the lookout for a few moments. I knew the occupants in the minivan

that we’d hit were all dead. I felt sad about it, and I suppose I could have saved one of

them, but all my thoughts were focused on keeping Liz alive, and to do that, I needed to

make sure there was no one around who could harm her.

I did a cursory search, keeping the car within view, but the longer I took to make

sure of no danger, the closer to death Lizzy would get. I had to do something. And now.
 I stood in the middle of the road, close to the twisted cars, and focused all of the

energy I’d contained inside of me. I closed my eyes and let the energy gather and build

until I was ready. I tilted my head back and launched the energy up through me.

I watched as it soared through the air, a red ball streaking upwards, until it was

reasonably high enough to be seen for miles around. Then the ball burst into red sparks

with a loud clash. The light faded as smoke fades. Better than a flare gun.

I hunkered down in the car, keeping watch on the surrounding areas and on

Lizzy. Bit by bit, I poured the remainder of the energy into her to keep her body alive.

I could hear the whine of an old pick-up truck. I pulled myself out of the car and

looked down the road as the truck turned onto this road and headed in our direction.

The headlights illuminated the wreckage and the truck pulled to a screeching stop on the

other side of the van.

An older man got out, slowly closing his door. Then a younger man got out. Both

looked shocked. “Jesus,” the younger one said.

“Carl, call the police,” the older one said.

Carl got back into the truck and pulled a carphone into view. The older man

looked into the van’s windows. He opened the doors, but they were locked. He cursed

and went around to our car. “Dear God,” he muttered under his breath.

I concentrated as hard as I could and pulled the lock up. Then I ran around the

other side and did the other door, just in case. The older man opened the back door i

had just unlocked and leaned in, checking Lizzy’s pulse. I was so relieved, what little

energy was left in me was pinging against my insides.

“The girl here! She’s alive!” the older man yelled.

 Carl ran over with a blanket. He hesitated as he looked at my body and Jas’, then

climbed in on the other side and wrapped a blanket around Lizzy. He patted her head,

making sure not to touch the wound.

The older man checked my pulse and Jas’. He shook his head at Carl. Then they

worked on breaking the locks on the van, which I made easier for them by popping the

locks myself. By the time the men had checked the back of the van for survivors—there

was no one in the back—sirens could be heard, getting closer and closer.

I watched as the ambulance and police cars tore up the road. I watched as they

took my baby and set her gently in a stretcher, attaching her to heart monitors and

giving her an oxygen mask. They loaded her up in the back of the ambulance with a

worker climbing in with her.

I went to the door of the ambulance before they closed it. I could feel the tug of

the other side already, but I fought it for longer. “I’ll be with you, baby. I’ll watch over

you and your sisters and make sure you’re alright.” I set my mouth firmly. “I will be

back.”

Then the ambulance door closed and I let myself be pulled through.