IELTS ARGUMENTATIVE WRITING TEST

Most high level positions in companies are filled by men, even though the workforce in
many developed countries consists of 50 percent female workers. Companies should be
required to allocate a certain percentage of management positions to women. Discuss,
what is your opinion?

The inequality between men and women has always been a significant issue
in their society. Besides that, it is undeniable that most vital positions in companies are taken by
males, not females. Therefore, there exist a statement that companies should allocate to women a
certain number of these positions. However, I do not agree with this requirement completely.

In some feudal countries, it was true to say that the society favour the males, and at that time
instances of inequality occurred very frequently. Up until the present moment, it stills to happen in
some developing countries; also it is greatly involved to women's right. A large number of women
in these countries are not allowed to go to work or even go to public place. In this case, this is not
an individual issue, but it is a social problem. The governments should have some solution to react
with this tendency, and at the same time they should promulgate a new legislation to protect
womens right.

On the other hand, the global economy is developing rapidly nowadays. In most corporations, they
do not distinguish men from women; they only focus on working efficiently. In this world, any
employees who possess enough abilities and work in an effective way, that person willbe promoted
to high positions. Therefore, allocating the high level positions in companies to women is not
necessary. Moreover, the instances of women in essential positions cannot count by fingers. Those
women are very successful in their work and their lives.

In conclusion, although the inequality between men and women has reduced, it still is a social
issue worth to concern. Personally, in my opinion we should create as many opportunities for
women to have an equal life as we can.

This essay needs some work. It has a good structure, the paragraphs are coherent, you
are using enough linking words and the task is covered. On the other hand, the
grammar needs much attention, the structure of the sentences should be worked on and
there were some unclear expressions used. See comments underlined in blue for more
details. Overall, this looks like a Band 6 essay

IELTS Writing Task 2: Question

Try this argument essay question about access to a university education. Its very
important that you write a balanced argument before giving your opinion.

It is sometimes argued that too many students go to university, while

others claim that a university education should be a universal right.

Discuss both sides of the argument and give your own opinion.

IELTS Writing Task 2: Model Answer

In some advanced countries, it is not unusual for more than 50% of young adults to
attend college or university. Critics, however, claim that many university courses are
worthless and young people would be better off gaining skills in the workplace. In this
essay, I will examine both sides of this argument and try to reach a conclusion.

There are several reasons why young people today believe they have the right to a
university education. First, growing prosperity in many parts of the world has
increased the number of families with money to invest in their childrens future. At the
same time, falling birthrates mean that one- or two-child families have become
common, increasing the level of investment in each child. It is hardly surprising,
therefore, that young people are willing to let their families support them until the age
of 21 or 22. Furthermore, millions of new jobs have been created in knowledge
industries, and these jobs are typically open only to university graduates.

However, it often appears that graduates end up in occupations unrelated to their

university studies. It is not uncommon for an English literature major to end up
working in sales, or an engineering graduate to retrain as a teacher, for example.
Some critics have suggested that young people are just delaying their entry into the
workplace, rather than developing professional skills. A more serious problem is that
the high cost of a university education will mean that many families are reluctant to
have more than one child, exacerbating the falling birthrates in certain countries.

In conclusion, while it can be argued that too much emphasis is placed on a

university education, my own opinion is that the university years are a crucial time for
personal development. If people enter the workplace aged 18, their future options
may be severely restricted. Attending university allows them time to learn more about
themselves and make a more appropriate choice of career.

(320 words. IELTS 9.0)

Why does this Task 2 answer get an IELTS Band 9

score?
Task response: The model answer fully answers the question by stating several
arguments both for and against the expansion of higher education. The candidates
position is clearly expressed in the conclusion. The style is appropriate to academic
writing and the answer is at least 250 words in length.

Coherence and cohesion: The model answer has an introduction and conclusion.
Each body paragraph deals with a different side of the argument and begins with a
clear topic sentence. Arguments are developed with logical connectives such
as therefore and furthermore.

Lexical resource: There is a good range of vocabulary suited to an argument essay,

including reporting verbs like claim and suggest, and hedging verbs
like can and appear. There is native-like collocation throughout, including growing
prosperity, enter the workplace and severely restricted.

Grammatical range and accuracy: The model answer uses a wide range of
grammatical devices appropriate to academic writing. These include conditionals
(If), participle clauses (, increasing the), concessive clauses (while it can)
and passive constructions (it can be argued that). There are no grammatical
errors.

Popular events like the Football World Cup and other international sporting occasions
are essential in easing international tension and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe
way.

Every four years, the whole world stops to watch international sporting events such as the
Olympics and the Football World Cup in which athletes show their best performance to make their
country proud. These sporting occasions have proved to be helpful in easing international tension
in difficult times when powerful leaders were trying to control the worlds economy and other
governments were fighting over the land.

The Olympic Games are one of the best examples which prove how sporting events can bring
nations together, at least temporarily. From the ancient History, when Greeks and Romans would
interrupt battles to participate in the games, to the more recent international disputes, when
athletes from Palestine and Israel would forget their differences, compete peacefully and even
embrace each other after an event. Moreover, these popular events have called the worlds
attention to the terrible consequences of wars; thus some leaders have tried to reach agreements
to end their disputes and live peacefully.

Similarly, international sporting events show benefits in some developing countries which live in a
daily internal civil war. For example, Brazil has a high rate of unemployment, lack of education,
hunger, crime, poverty and corruption which leads to an immense embarrassment of being
Brazilian and a low self-esteem. However, when the Football World Cup starts, the Brazilian squad,
which is considered the best team in the world, provokes an amazing feeling of pride in their
country. Most people seem to forget all their problems and even the criminal activity decreases.
They paint roads with the national colors, wear the Brazilian team shirts and buy national flags.
Moreover, the competition brings families and neighbors together and even rival gangs watch the
games and celebrate peacefully.

In conclusion, popular sporting events play an important role in decreasing international tensions
and liberating patriotic feelings as history has shown.

This is a great essay, the ideas, language, structure of paragraphs and sentences, and
your grammar show a good command of the English language. In my opinion it is Band
8. Keep up the good work.
 IELTS essay, topic: the development of technology
causes traditional skills to die out, agree or
disagree?

When a country develops its technology, the traditional skills and ways of life die out. It
is pointless to try and keep them alive.To what extent do you agree or disagree with this
opinion?

Nowadays, technological advances and their rapid and wide applications are having a significant
impact on a nations traditional skills and ways of life. Some argue that such impact is so
extraordinary that it would make conventional skills and life styles obsolete. However, I believe
they would continue to thrive by providing alternatives to modern ways of life, and innovative
ideas for modern technologies.

First of all, traditional skills and ways of life are becoming an alternative solution to the problems
caused by mainstreamed ways of life which are greatly influenced by modern technologies. For
instance, a cozy restaurant where traditional, home-brewed beer is served, offers another
experience to people who are bored with branded beers that have the same flavor and come out of
mass production with new technologies. It is in such a venue where traditional skills are preserved,
people become relaxed and educated. Providing diversity and thus enriching modern ways of life,
such traditional skills and ways of life would continue to have their place.

Furthermore, conventional skills provide innovative ideas to the development of modern

technologies. For example, sparkled by how the word Love is traditionally knitted into a sweater
by some ethnic minority women in some parts of Asia, some business managers from textile
industry have developed some production lines by applying the traditional skills to Computer-Aided
Designs (CAD). The products have boosted the companies sales which in turn have increased their
investment in preserving traditional skills for further developing their technologies.

To conclude, traditional skills and life styles are increasingly becoming a useful alternative to the
homogeneity brought by global applications of modern technologies. However, the evolution of
technologies is a selection process, whereby some would become obsolete, but there is no doubt
that some would thrive when their roles are appreciated.

This is a good essay. The requirements of the task statement are covered, the
arguments make sense and are presented in a coherent, easy to follow way, the range
of vocabulary is wide enough and the writer shows fluency and flexibility. There are only
a few errors (mouse over the words underlined in blue shows suggested corrections).
Overall this looks like an IELTS Band 8 essay.