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Ashtyn McDaniel

Christina Giarrusso

ENC 1101-0003

6th March, 2017

To be Complete

Addison looked in the mirror as she brushed her fiery red hair. Her cold fingers squeezed

the brush so hard her hands were white, but she couldnt feel a thing. Sam her husband, was just

looking at her. With no knowledge of what to say or to do, Sam watched his wife become slowly

broken because she had just had her third miscarriage. The Simpsons wanted nothing more than

to be a family. To hear little feet running around their house, to hear little voices yelling

mommy and daddy, or just to feel a small embrace. They tried everything, but Addison just

couldnt have children. For them to keep trying would be a very drastic threat to her health.

However, they did have just one option left, and that option was adoption. Adoption may not

always be easy, but neither is being a parent. Its the result, thats worth it. Adoption was

something that the Simpsons had no information on what so ever, but was something they felt

was worthy of them looking in to.

A scientist by the name of Robert Merton came up with a theory in 1957 when trying to

discover why it is that people commit crime. Mertons theory was called the Anomie theory and

explained how people cant accept the fact that the American dream is not always attainable. The

American dream, to have a loving husband or wife and to have children that you raise in a loving

environment and a stable home just as the Simpsons wanted. Children in the adoption system do

not know this dream. They dont usually know what it feels like to wake up every day and know
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who your parents are. If these children do know their parents, its often said that they wished

they didnt. Most of these children dont know what it feels like to be loved and as Applegate (a

parent of many adopted children) concludes in her article about the pros and cons of adoption;

Some adopted children come from an abusive or neglecting background and get to experience

the peace of a functional family life with their adoptive families(1). Some birth parents will

give up their children to the adoption process, if they think ahead and know they will not be able

to take care of the child. However, judging by the amount of children in government care it

seems that a great amount of parents do not do this and the child is taken away by the

Department of Children and Families. To go through the process of being taken away from your

birth parents alone is very traumatizing to a child of any age, not to mention what they went

through to get to that point. Being taken into a family that loves them and is giving them what

they couldnt have before can attempt to mend that pain.

More often times than not, the child is not the only one being saved. Many parents that do

adopt are incapable of having children themselves, just like the Simpsons. These potential

parents have gone through miscarriages, different strides to become fertile, and contribute to a

constant game of getting their hopes up and being let down. Some might assume that God was

against them or they just werent meant to be parents when in reality they were maybe just

meant to be parents in a different way. In an article on Meet the Parents, Melissa Willets (a writer

and mother, who writes only about parenting and adoption) introduces the Carling family. Meet

the parents is a website run by Melissa Willets that talks about different families from around the

world and their stories. This family was unable to have children due to the mother having Lupus

and Rheumatoid Arthritis (RA). After knowing that adoption was their only option to become a

family, they went through the adoption process twice only to be let down when the birth mother
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decided to keep the child. They decided to try a third time and now have adopted four children.

The Carling family doesnt regret a thing, and says that their hearts have never been so full (1).

Adopting a child and seeing that they can be good parents and have a loving family is a way to

make these couples feel whole again. A way to make them feel like theyre needed, wanted, and

valued.

In the world we live in today, sometimes adopting a child could be a familys saving

grace. In a society full of racism, having a family of different ethnicities can open the eyes of that

family and the ones on the outside looking in. Recently a show called This Is Us aired on NBC

and is about a family who adopted an African American child. Although this is not what the

whole plot is about, a significant part of the TV series talks about his life growing up. In one

episode Kevin, who is the natural son of the family, comes home and says Mom all the kids at

school make fun of Randall and me and say we arent brothers because hes black. This caused

Kevin to be mean to his brother because the kids at school made him think that it was not okay to

have a sibling that was a different race then he was. His mother explains to him that she

considered Randall to be just as much her son as he is, and that Randall is his brother despite the

biological odds. Kevin comes to the realization that his mother is right and holds his brothers

hand every day when they go to school and doesnt let any of the other kids pick on Randall or

himself. Even though this is a fictional TV show, its a very accurate depiction of the critical state

we live in. I personally witnessed a child be bullied for being an African American child that was

adopted by white parents when I was watching by sister at the park one day. Seeing that diversity

in families does happen and it is acceptable can make children and adults witnessing open up

their eyes to the true meaning of family.

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The adoption process is my no means easy, whether its in the United States or an

international adoption. Typically the process can take years, and thats not even counting the

amount of time many people take just to find the agency that fits them. Once an agency is

chosen, then the application process is started. Applegate explains in her article on the pros and

cons of adoption that; You will complete a state-required, two-month home study process that

investigates your ability to raise a child and your background (1). Someone from the agency

you chose will be in your house every day, judging you and your home to see if you are up to

par. This can be very intimating for a lot to people and sometimes to them not worth it. Thats not

all, after the application process is finally over and youre probably thinking that your baby will

be on its way, you are actually put on a typically very long waiting list. These lists usually take

about three years to get all the way through because of all the precautions that need to be taken to

make sure the child is in good hands. Many potential parents get their hopes up only to wait

years and find out that the birth mother of the child they wanted has changed their mind. As

stated earlier, the Carling family got their hopes up twice before they had a successful adoption.

They supported this mother financially and took her to every doctors appointment only to be let

down in the end (Willets, 1). To go through the adoption process, you must be ready for the

emotional, and sometimes hard days it will bring. However, most couples feel the outcome is

more than worth it.

Another big sacrifice that potential parents must keep in mind is money. As any new

parent you are preparing for your child to come home. Things to put in the bedroom are being

ordered, toys, food, and a crib if needed. If you are planning to adopt a child that is not an infant

than you also need to plan to get them set up in school. On top of all these normal costs, couples

that decide to adopt are paying thousands and thousands of extra dollars just to have the
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opportunity to be on the waiting list. Adoptive Families Magazine surveyed 1,100 families who

adopted a child in the year 2012-2013 and reported the average total cost to be $39,966 just too

officially adopt the child and have them settled in the home (American Adoption Staff ,1). These

circumstances do limit the amount of people that can adopt. This is why its so common to see

celebrities or athletes adopt children, they have the means to.

After researching and finding out all the pros and cons of adoption, the Simpsons decided

to adopt. Sam and Addison currently have a family of four, with two very happy children that

they now call their own. In 2012, 119,514 children were adopted in the United States (Child

Welfare Information Gateway, 1). These children were saved from a live of loneness and in

exchange received a life full of love. These children were saved from being passed from foster

family to foster family because no one wanted to keep them permanently. These children were

saved from a childhood that would soon define every fiber of their being. Adoption does have

some minor setbacks, but the reward will always outweigh the setbacks by far. The reward, is a

family.
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Works Cited

Applegate, Mark. "Pros and Cons of Adoption." (May 24th, 2015): 1. Web.

Beverly, Brenda L., Teena M. McGuinness, and Debra J. Blanton. "Communication and

Academic Challenges in Early Adolescence for Children Who have been adopted from

the Former Soviet Union." Language, Speech & Hearing Services in Schools 39.3 (2008):

303-13. Print.

Levy-Shiff, Rachel, Naomi Zoran, and Shmuel Shulman. "International and Domestic Adoption:

Child, Parents, and Family Adjustment." International Journal of Behavioral

Development 20.1 (1997): 109-29. Print.

Mott, Sarah, et al. "Depression and Anxiety among Postpartum and Adoptive Mothers." Archives

of Women's Mental Health 14.4 (2011): 335-43. Print.

Narad, Christine, and Patrick W. Mason. "International Adoptions: Myths and Realities."

Pediatric nursing 30.6 (2004): 483-7. Print.

Willets, Melissa. "Meet the Parents." (2017): 1. Web.

American Adoptions staff. "Comparing the Cost of Domestic, International, and Foster Care

Adoption." (2017): 1. Web.

Child Welfare Information Gateway. "Adoption Statistics." (2016): 1,1-36. Print.

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