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Adaya Haskins

Mrs. DeBock

English 4 Honors

09 March 2017

Families Cope With Cancer

Cancer is an uncontrolled growth of abnormal cells in a part of the body. This chronic

disease comes in various forms and can affect anyone. Although cancer can be treated, families

face uncertainty when informed that their loved one has been diagnosed with this condition.

Cancer is quickly associated with negative notions because there is no positive until people

journey through it. With this being said, families experience a time full of worry and change,

unsure of how to cope with the circumstances. Families can cope with cancer by communicating,

spirituality, acceptance, and creating a support system.

Communication is a key factor as families cope with cancer. Landier explains the

importance of keeping extended family and friends in the loop (15). People always urge to know

more in situations such as this, so it can possibly overwhelm the caregivers considering they

already have a lot on their plate. Families need to identify a family member or friend that will

become their press secretary. A press secretary is an individual who will communicate updated

information to others. Press secretaries are helpful because it relieves stress from within the

household as it may be hard to keep up. The Other Side of the Mountain states that childhood

cancer affects the entire family so honesty is extremely important. Children tend to sense when

something is wrong and pick up on their parents fears. The diagnosis and its entirety should be

explained so that it is easier to cooperate and understand. An explanation may decrease the guilt

and stress that could possibly form when receiving the news. Stoneberg describes the importance
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of communicating with the cancer patient (7). According to research, One of the most important

ways to help communication is not only to ask, How are you feeling? but also, What are you

feeling? (Stoneberg 7). Asking How are you feeling? could prepare for a cliche answer such

as fine or good. The question How are you feeling? leaves the response open and allows

the patient to dig a bit deeper. The patient may say something about death, or express their

worries in their response. A caregiver does not have to react but must prepare for any harsh and

painful responses. Stoneberg also brings attention to the idea that people with cancer tend to

want insight (6). Cancer patients feel as if everyone has the insight on their illness that they want

to seek. With this thought, a patient may ask for opinions on their condition and its entirety to

reassure their understanding. The caregivers could lack the knowledge of the concerns

confronted by the patient. They must remain completely honest without answering questions they

do not know a correct answer to. The person with cancer can sense uncertainty so honesty is

highly appreciated.

Families can use spirituality as a way to cope with cancer. According to The Other Side

of the Mountain families with religious views may have spiritual responses to cancer. In the

beginning the disease may lead to spiritual struggle because one may start to question God or

blame him for the circumstances, pushing him away. Others refer to him for guidance along with

power and strength. Many people in the faith community may be willing to provide a source of

support throughout the survivorship. The ones willing to do this should have strong

characteristics consisting of active listening, being open, understanding, act as a liaison, and

allow questions. Spirituality has no set limit or rules, it is improving your relationship with

yourself, others and God. In order for this to work throughout the journey the family must be

open, engage the strength of their spirit, be drawn to a God, and speak for oneself. Prouty argues
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that spirituality is acutely supportive. Prouty states that Reporting a connection with a

benevolent and loving God, religious involvement and spiritual practice have been associated

with higher levels of hope (270). Spirituality can increase the ability to find meaning without

questioning or blaming God. Referring to a higher figure (God) deepens the relationship between

the family making it easier to cope as one.

Families can cope with cancer by accepting the condition. Walshe discusses the idea of

the new normal (8). Patients and their families quickly realize that they are possibly trying to

maintain normalcy but nothing is the same anymore. The effects that arrive with the disease is

their new normal. Once this is accepted, coping becomes easier because they are aware that

the change is not optional and everything has a lot more thought now. Walshe also brings it to

mind that many side effects of cancer can increase the struggle of the journey (8). These side

effects can be physically seen or felt depending on the characteristics. For example, the hair loss

of an individual is a physical side effect. It may take the cancer patient quite a while to get used

to not having hair like everyone else causing them to feel different. Families can help with this

by letting them know that is who they are and it does not make them less valuable. This can

create a boost in their self-esteem allowing them to accept themselves for who they are and

continue pushing forward. After several interviews, a cancer patient confesses, So yeah it was

quite shocking when I was first told. And then you sort of get your head round things and say

okay lets see how we get on (Walshe 8). Patients and their families must look at the

circumstances in a different light. This can be done by accepting the fact that everything is the

way it is and there is absolutely nothing that can be done about. With this mindset, it allows

individuals to keep away from negativity and motivate them to have the strength to conquer

whatever is next.
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Families can cope with cancer by having great support systems. Northfield reviews the

two types of social support, emotional and instrumental (4). Emotional support is a fundamental

form of communication and at its center is empathy, the capacity to recognize and share feelings

that are being experienced by another. Opposed to emotional support, instrumental support

stands as the various types of tangible help that others may provide. The usage of both resources

depends on each caregiver's circumstances. The support given can be helpful to keep a positive

attitude as it assists the families additional duties. The support can come from a friend, family

member or medical source. Stoneberg asserts that many programs are established for families to

lean towards while searching for support (10). These programs consist of Reach to Recovery,

ostomy rehabilitation, and laryngectomee clubs. Each of these are situational and specific to a

certain type of cancer. In addition, I Can Cope provides information about every aspect of cancer

there is to help support the family and their knowledge as to what is occurring. These programs

can help the family have a more superior understanding as to what the cancer patient is going

through. They will be able to listen, offer help and encourage in a meaningful way. Landier

assures that support is certainly needed from extended family and friends (15). As everything is

hectic, many of these people strive to assist the family even though they may be unconfident of

what should be done. Relying on others can be uncomfortable at first, but it is quickly realized

that the support is much needed. Families must maintain a list of people that are willing to help

so that they are there when needed. It is also beneficial if a list of chores are kept as well when

assistance is offered. The basics to support is letting people help out.

Many people have to deal with the diagnosis of cancer within their family continuously.

Cancer does not bring positive energy causing individuals to react in a negative way. They do not

really know how to manage their feelings and emotions at first but learning to cope is
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reassuringly possible. This condition can definitely shape a family's life in different ways.

Everyone copes differently but can certainly cope by communicating, spirituality, acceptance,

and creating a support system.

Works Cited
Landier, Wendy, and Heather Hartrum. Coping with Childhood Leukemia and Lymphoma. White

Plains, NY: Leukemia & Lymphoma Society, 2012. Print.

Northfield, Sarah, and Monica Nebauer. "The Caregiving Journey for Family Members of

Relatives with Cancer: How Do They Cope?." Clinical Journal of Oncology Nursing

2010: 567. Academic OneFile. Web. 21 Feb. 2017.

Prouty, Anne, et al. "Spiritual Coping: A Gateway To Enhancing Family Communication During

Cancer Treatment." Journal Of Religion & Health 55.1 (2016): 269. Advanced Placement
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Source. Web. 20 Feb. 2017.

Stoneberg, Marion F. "Listen with Your Heart: Talking With the Person Who Has Cancer."Listen

with Your Heart: Talking With the Person Who Has Cancer. American Cancer

Society, n.d. Web. 21 Feb. 2017.

The Other Side of The Mountain. N.p.: National Children's Cancer Society, n.d. Print.

Walshe, Catherine, et al. "Coping Well With Advanced Cancer: A Serial Qualitative Interview

Study With Patients And Family Carers." Plos ONE 12.1 (2017): 1-25. Academic

Search Complete. Web. 20 Feb. 2017.