Peer Reviewed by: Maristel Barrientos

Writer: Jamal Smith

English 301: Annotated Bibliography Peer Review

Peer Review Categories:

Rhetorical Awareness
I think the sources you chose have potential in persuading the audience about your topic.
However, I think you can refine your thesis more, so that it clearly states what your main
goal of the paper is. Thus, pick a side; physical books or electronic? Which one will you
support? Are you trying to implement the idea of switching to electronic books? Consider
the benefits, cost, convenience, and portability can be factors that influence a change or
transition.

Ethical Research
It seems like you used different resources that are .org. I have not used MLA for a
while, but looking through your sources and the way you wrote your citations, I would
say you dont necessarily need N.p. since the webpage that you got the articles from are
publisher. For instance, NEA Today is the publisher for the article, so you dont need
n.p. anymore. For the third citation, I understand that there may not be an author, but
what replaces the author? Does the title take its place?

Support/Evidence
I think you can refine your thesis to make it clearer for your audience to understand what
your paper is about. Try rephrasing your sentence and words. For instance, try Although
physical books may be, tablets could Also, are you trying to imply that
tablet/electronic books will replace physical books? If so, state that in words that are
easier to understand.

Organization
You introduced the counterargument in the introduction and stated that there are multiple
ways in preventing distraction from electronics. Is this something that you are going to
research also? Do you have an idea how to support the use of electronic books?

I think you did a great job at summarizing the articles in one sentence and your
explanation paragraph really flowed with the information you provided. For the
explanation-paragraph for each article, maybe consider including the facts, evidence or
examples in the article that you plan on using in your editorial. From existing transitions
of physical to electronic books, what are some examples of the pros? What are some key
ideas that you want to include in your paper? What are some of the positive and negative
outcomes because of the change? Applying evidence and examples in your bibliography
will help you later in writing the actual paper.
Language
Be careful with your usage of pronouns (they, this). Using pronouns often (especially in
the first sentences of your introduction), can be a little confusing and more difficult to
understand. For your introduction, I advise that you clearly state what youre trying to
explain and use the words that are in your thesis so it all ties together.

Design
In your third citation, you exceed the word-count limit for the summary-sentence by only
2 words. This can easily be changed by rearranging your wording, reconstructing your
sentence, or removing a couple of unnecessary words that will not change your message.
It seems like you mention along with twice in one sentence, which is repetitive. Also,
try removing the prepositions in this sentence.