Phillip Scarboro

Socio-Autobiography

Dr. Garoutte

5/20/2015
 I was born in 1994. During my lifetime, gay rights in America have

come a long way. In 1994, almost every state had banned gay marriage.

Since then there has been a turn and it appears we might be headed down a

path to total marriage equality across the entire country. But just because

our country is headed in that direction does not mean we are changing the

way we socialize our children. Heteronormativity is something most of us

experience from a young age.

Think back to when you were a child and your parents bought you toys.

If youre a boy, you received train sets, race cars and footballs. If youre a

girl you received Barbie Dolls, play houses and Easy-Bake Ovens. These

normal parental practices happen every day and they are all part of

heteronormativity. Parents arent going to the store and saying Im going to

buy my son this football so he doesnt turn out gay. But that is essentially

what happens. Parents contribute to heteronormativity all the time and they

may not even realize it.

I have a personal experience of this occurring. My grandparents first

grandchildren were all girls so all they have at their house are the hand-me-

downs from the oldest grandchildren. We had a family reunion at my

grandparents house a couple of years ago and I noticed one of my boy

cousins was playing with the Barbie Dolls along with my other girl cousins.

My aunts and uncles were making smug comments so his mom (my aunt)

went over and told him to go outside and play football instead. I dont think
my family is homophobic, this is behavior that naturally occurs because of

the values we hold as a society.

I never thought anything of it at the time but looking back now him

playing with the Barbie Dolls went against gender schematics. Even though

the only reason he probably chose to play with the dolls was because thats

what the other little ones were doing, people in my family saw it as weird.

I believe this type of behavior from adults not only comes from not

wanting their kid to turn out gay, and also abiding by gender roles. If a

father sees his child using an Easy-Bake Oven he may not like it because he

wants his expects his son to be a provider for his family. They all tie together

when talking about the socialization of our children to the norms of society.

This can even be experienced in schools. In high school, it was

something like $5 to get into the Homecoming Dance and $8 for a couple.

But there was a rule: you had to be a male and a female. I remember

wondering What if there is an actual gay couple who wants to go together

but cant? I dont think the school thought Lets not let gay couples go to

the dance together. I think the thought process behind the rule was that

they wanted to encourage couples to go together rather than going with a

group of friends. But at the same time isnt that heteronormativity to an

extreme? Fixing the prices to encourage romance instead of going with a

group? I think it is.

 Overall, we see heteronormativity and gender roles every single day in

our lives. Much of the time it will go unnoticed because it is so natural.

Although I am not suggesting there is anything wrong with buying your son

toy trucks and your girl Barbies, but think about it next time you do. Will

allowing my son to play with a toy house this one time really going to affect

his sexuality in the long-run? My guess is not. These are all decisions we

still continue to make, however, that contribute heteronormativity.