SOMYARAK 1!

Bralee Toto Somyarak

Ms. Orana Meenongwha

English 10/10:05

May 25, 2017

Arranged Marriage

Introduction

One of the most popular methods of selecting our consorts by other people is known in the

term arranged marriage. Arranged marriage is a very common practice in the Middle East, Asia,

and Africa. Most people in these countries believe that arranged marriage can help the marriage

stronger and happier, and it adds such pleasant experience for both the grooms and the brides. In the

arrange marriage, the marital partners are chosen by their parents, relatives, or matchmakers

selection or agreement in order to guide two people through the process of finding the right person

to marry with. Imagine yourself meeting a person for the first day, without knowing who they are,

and having to spend the rest of your life with that one person. This mannerism is accepted widely

by the parents that the following the practice Arrange Marriage, is considered a payback and

show obedience of a child to their parents and guidance who have been raising them. A throwback

to about a few decades ago, some group of people who faced this problem tried really hard to rebel

against this system of matching for a marriage. Due to many social and environmental factors, these

practices are happening to forbid the true loves nationality, culture, and to widen the connections

among the adults themselves. For some people, such as adults, this practice benefits them in many

ways. For example, it may improve their image in the society and add connections. However, most
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people who lived in the Western countries assume it restricts personal freedom, increase the

violence rate and causes more stresses for the couples.

This research aims to give information about the practice of arranged marriage.

What is an Arranged Marriage?

The term arranged marriage is basically defining the practice of selecting or matching a

couple. In the practice arranged marriage, the conjugal partners are chosen by their parents, older

relatives, matchmakers, or religious leaders in an intention to guide the bride and the groom through

the process of finding the right person to marry. The tradition of arranged marriage is most

commonly found in eastern-based cultures countries, including Indian, Japanese, and Chinese

cultures. However, the tradition is not so common among the western families in the present day,

unlike a few decades back. According to Debatepedia (2016), it is stated that the practice used to be

very popular in Europe back in time when the parents from the high society arranged marriages

among their children to ensure that they maintained the economic status and bloodlines that is

greatly valued. The arranged marriage in most eastern countries, the form of the practice is

somehow misunderstood to be forcing because of their cultures, beliefs, and for their social status.

The traditional purposes of these types of unions were political, military, and social. (Arranged

Marriages - Past And Present, 2010) This form of marriage is somehow believed as a slavery issue

because it is considered forcing to both women and men. Some of the forcing marriage in

Afghanistan issue is still on debate until today because sometimes the marriage was too early that

parents believe that their children have no visions and abilities to choose their own soul mates ,but

actually they are just too young to be married. The marriage that is arranged by parents is

considered a payback to their parents who loved and raised them throughout their whole life. (The

Culture And History Of Arranged Marriages, N.D)

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History of an Arranged Marriage

According to the statement by the New World Encyclopedia (2017), the arranged marriage

is referring to the tradition has been a part of eastern families and it has passed through from

generations to generations. The system and practice of arranged marriage may not have changed

much over the years, however, the practice has become so much less rigid than before. Even though

only the eastern-based culture practiced this, it is also very popular in a period of the Western

civilisation. The Romans in the late 18th century and the European in the 19th century, daughters

were seen as a form of currency, which could be used to help form strategic alliances and strengthen

the military position of the family. For instance, young girls were often promised to the as a way of

forming connections between the two families and the two areas as well. In some of the cases, the

marriages were arranged when the girls were still as young as babies or not even born yet. In some

instances, the marriage actually took place when both female and male were very young. The

female stayed at home with their families until they reached a certain age and then were sent off to

live with her husbands house with her husbands family. From that, this is one of the factors that

could make the female feel uncomfortable since they dont have the freedom to follow their own

life path. This idea can relate to the belief that female had less choice and less possibility to stand up

for their opinion than male throughout the history. Another aspect of arranged marriage concerns

the marrying agents decision. In the modern arranged marriage settings, the agent wishing to marry

has considered independent over the actual marriage decisions.(Arranged Marriages in Countries

and Cultures,1967)
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In Chinese culture, a marriage is not just between two people, but a relationship between two

families as well. The groom's parents investigate the social status of the brides family. Even though

arranged marriages were once a pattern in Chinese society, it has become common practice for

young people to choose their own spouse. However, after the couple decides to marry, their older

relatives will take over all the arrangements, and they will be the one that observes each others

traditional factor. .. A meeting will take place for the families to meet, usually with the bride and

groom present. The brides family will take this opportunity to ask about the credits of the grooms

family, and to make sure that their daughter or son will be treated well. If the parents are not happy

about the background of the other family, the wedding will surely not happen. However, if both

families accept the differences, the wedding and engagement will continue. Not only in China, 30

percent of the marriages are still practicing the arranged marriage in Japan. After they are being

matched, the Japanese culture-based couple meets and decides if they feel suitable to each of the

families. The parents are usually present at the first meeting. The couple continues to meet socially

often over a period of time before officially agree to marry one another.

Arranged Marriage Then and Now

Overtime, arranged marriage have evolved slowly and now it becomes absolutely changed.

There are some significant changes that happened such that parents have now become more liberal,

as a result of more and more people are getting attracted towards arranged marriages. Parents have

now become more open-minded and their children can share their likes and dislikes with them

pretty comfortably. The busy life of youngsters is also a contributing factor.(Sood, 2015) This is the

reason why more and more people are placing their faith in their parents to select a suitable partner

for them. Arranged marriage is no more the oppressive institution as it used to be, but these days it
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is based on mutual trust and collective understanding. Also due to many factors such as

advancements technology in the modern world that brought up the idea of online date arrangements

and even arranged marriage from meeting online. Nowadays, arranged marriage can bring up to a

business world which sites receive money from arranging dates for two strangers from different

parts around the world. There are so many sites and application that arrange dates for both of the

sides randomly. Some of the couples were successfully matched and they meet in real-time real-life

and married one another. As the divorce rates are increasing recently, children started to trust their

parents to look for a perfect life partner for them. This trust has shown as a result of a perfect

relationship that is shared between the parents and their children. Nowadays parents do not affirm

their authority on their kids but are always cooperate and supportive of their decisions and choices.

People may have thought that arranged marriage may be like forced marriage when parents come to

aid the practice, but its actually another story. Unlike arranged marriage, forced marriage are the

situation in the system of forcing someone to live together as husband and wife without caring their

feelings, but the force stands with the belief that living together will make them love each other

some day. This marriage are banned and illegal in some places in the world like Norway. While

arranged marriage gives the freedom to both of the groom and the bride to choose whether or not

they wanted to marry one another.

Therefore, its impossible to understand a clear and complete versions of arranged marriage. All of

the marriages are different and it depends on the families of both the bride and the groom

themselves. Even though technology can bring two person from another side of the world together,

it is maybe not efficient as parents classic practice. Also right now, parents in most of the families

started to be open minded and they start to understand their kids better and not as rigid as before.

Also to arranged a marriage is not considered forcing anyone to love, but in contrast, the partners

get a chance to decide among themselves only with the help of parents.
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Conclusion

Above all, this research is meant to give the readers the information, facts, and details about

arranged marriage. As stated above, the involvement of parents in arranged marriage is beneficial as

the parents know their what their child needs more than anyone else. Arranged marriage can have

many disadvantages, but in what ways could the practice be passed from generations to generations

if those members that were once matched by others are not feeling thankful for ones that chose the

partners for them. In the past, this form of marriage can be beneficial in the way that it could

possibly keep the person with royal bloodlines and high-society families still valued on the same

level. On the other hand, some group of people may rebel against this idea as the believe that the

arranged marriage tends to steal away two persons freedom they should have in part of managing

their own relationship. Some people may be wondering if arranged marriage are similar to forced

marriage, but no, its different. Practicing arranged marriage is different from forced marriage in the

way that the agreement will have to include the conjugal partners opinion before ploughing on any

ideas. Arranged marriages today are unlike before. It was less rigid and included more freedom for

the couple to decide whether or not they are going to married one another. And lastly, the forms

have changed, when technology came handed in to help that the partner from another side of the

world could meet one another online to personally and marry. Therefore, arranged marriage are not

a bad idea if it was fair to both of the sides and also if both families are happy with the conditions.
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Reference

Zuffoletti, A. (2007). Traditional Arranged Marriages. Retrieved from http://iml.jou.ufl.edu/

projects/spring07/zuffoletti/traditional.html

Sammcnerney. (10 September 2011). The Psychology of Marriage: Choice or Arranged?.

Retrieved from https://whywereason.com/2011/09/10/the-psychology-of-marriage-choice-

or-arranged/

Sood, N. (22 January 2015). How arranged marriages have undergone a sea change over

the years. Retrieved from http://www.newlovetimes.com/changes-in-arranged-marriages/

Arranged marriage.(2017). Retrieved from http://www.newworldencyclopedia.org/entry/

Arranged_marriage

Kalyani. (2014). Countries Where Arranged Marriages are Common. Retrieved from http://

futurescopes.com/arranged-marriages/8162/countries-where-arranged-marriages-are-

common
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APPENDIX