't94 t MORt STORITS WL TELL

She call grc Meanie, but shc likc to kiss 1]e too, sonletilues. I re-
'fV' Sophie like to grab rny
rucmber that evcry tir-ne I sec a child on
hair, a fistl'ul in each hand, ancl tl-ren kiss mc smack
on the nosc' I Lorrie Moore
r'lever see any othcr child kiss that rvay'
'Ihe satcllite 'I'V has so ll"Iany channcls, more chanuels than I
can count, incluclirrg a Chinese chaunel from
the Mainland and a 14
(lhincse channel from Taiwan, but most of the timc I watch
many' rnany
bloopers with lless- Also, I watch the bird feeder---so
kincts of bircls comc. The Shca sons hang around
()et
all the
lost'
time' ask- Dance in America
ing whert will I go h<>ure' but Bess tell thern'
Shet a perlranctlt resiclcnt, say lless' She isn't going anywhere'
Then she wink at nte, and switch the channel with the rclnote
control.
()fcourse,lshouldn'tsaylrishthis,lrishthat'especiallynowl I 'rlt.t- 'ttIliM dancc bcgins u,hcn a nr()lllcllt of hurt c<>ntbincs
to LJess' Mcl Whot with a lnonlent of bored<tnr. I tell thenr it'.s tlre bocly'.s rcaching,
ar.n becortte h<>norary Irish rnyself, according
brirreing air to itself. I tell thcrn that it',s thc hcartls trir-rnrph, tl.rc
lrish? I say, ancl shc laugh' Al1 the sanle, if I could rmerltion
one
of them of course' t like to victory specch oF thc fcct, thc refincr-ncnt of aninral lrrnge and
thing abotrt sonre of the lrish, not all
flight, the purest nrctaphor of tribc and sclf. It'.s lifc flippinu tlcath
nrcntiort this: Thcir talk just stick' l don't know how
Bess Shea
I hcar what shc say a long the bird.
learn to usc hcr wor<ls, but sometinres
tirne later. Perttrancttl rasidtnt' ivo'.goi'( anywlrcre'
()ver and ovcr I I nrake this stuff up. I}-rt then I Fcel thc stray v<>ltlge of' trry
lless' rented charisrrra, hear thc jcrry-rigged authorityil-r rny vt'licc, and I,
hc:rr it, the v<'ricc <>f
tocl, lrelieve. I'nt convincecl.'fhe troupc clisrrrantlccl, thc clrorcogra-
phy comrrissiorrs dwindling, my bocly hardcr to nlakc linrbcr, t<l
makc go, I havc contc hcrc for two r,vecks-to l)cnnsylvauit I)utcl-r
country, as a "l)arrccr in the Scho<>ls." I visit classes, at collcges and
clemcntary schools, sprcacling l)ancc'.s holy worc1. My lrcad fills
with my own yack. What inteli<lr lifc' has accruccl in rnc is clepleted
[ast, cnrptied out ll-ry mouth, as I stand bctbrc auclicnces, auswcrins
their fcarful, furbidding ()erruart cprcsti()ns about :rrt arrcl rtry
"whorish dances" (the thrusted hip, the sucldcn burnp ancl grind
beforc an attitudc). They ask why cverytlrirrs I rlrakc scenrs so "ltc'rl-
inistic."
"I tlrink thc word is.fumiristicol," I say. I've srowrr tirccl. I burrrccl
clown u-ry lifc for a few qr>od picccs. and rrr>w this.
 196 / MORL STORIES WE I tI.t DANCI IN NN1 TRICN / 197

Witlr only onc r-right lcft, I've flecl the Quality Inu. (c:nramtltl "Wc clid orrc:e have a paintcr qivc us arr cstitrratc,
[:trt wc wcrc, put
crIIcKrlN ()N wAl,trr.t: $3.9-5 rcacls the sign out frotlt. l{ow cor,rlcl I off by thc rrlnrcs of the paints: Myth, Vcspcr, Snickcrcl<r,r,il".
t
leave?) '['he karaokc in the cocktail ]ounsc has kcpt llre trp, all thosc cliclrr't rvarrt anythinu calletl Snickcrcloocllc irr rtry
lrousc.,,
tipsy and bcllorvirrg v<>ices iust back fr<>rn the ntcn'.s rootn ancl "What ls a Snickerdoocllc?,,
urgcd to tl-rc front of thc loungc to sing "Sextral ['lcaling" or "l think thcy're hunrccl in Maclagascar."
"Alfie." I've acccptccl an ilrvitltion to sttly rvith my old fricncl Cal, I leap to joirr Itirtr, to play. ..()r catel) ilt Vicnna.,, I
say.
who te:rches anthropol()gy at Br.rrkwell, one of the nryriad local "()r worshipccl in L.A." I laush again fbr hirtr, arrcl rhcrr
rve
colleges. I'le lrrcl his wifc ()wn a ftrrmer frlt h<luse thcy'vc nevcr natch as Chappcrs sniflt at thc ro<>ts <>f an <>ak.
bothereci to rcnovatc. "lt lvas thc orrly way wc cor"rlcl livc in a house "lJLrt a ntyth ()r a vcsper---they'rc
always q()ocl.,, I .lclcl.
this big," he says. "llcsidcs, r,ve're pcrvcrscly fascinated by thc "(lrucial," hc says. '.lJut rvc clidn't neecl pairrr
ftlr rhat.,,
wrcckagc." It is I'astnacht, thc lip of l-ent, the night when the locals (lll's son, Eugcrrc, is sevc, a,cr has cystic
fibr<>sis. E.gc,crs
makc' hot fi-ied clough anc{ cat it in honor of (lhrist. We arc outsidc, r'vhr>lc lifc is a racc rvith r.,cc]ical rcscarch.',rt'.s rr.t tlrat I,rl
,-t ftr,
befbrc dinner, walkirrg Cali do5;, (Jhappers, in the cold. tlrc arts," says oal. "vrrr'r. hcrc; ,roncy ftlr thc urts br.rrsrrt
y<>u
"J'he lrousc i.s anrazing to look at," I say. "lt'.s bcat-up in sttch au herc.. '-['hatls rvclnclcrful. Itls w<lnclerful to sce
vou aftcr all thcsc
intricatc way. l,ike a l{auschcnbcrg. I-ike <xre of those beautiftrl ye.rs. It'.s w',clcrF,l to fu,cl the arts. 11 !.wrr:dcrfirl;
yrr-ri-c w.rrtlcr-
wind*tattcrcd billboards one sccs in thc (lalifornia dcscrt." I'nr de- fLrl' Thc arts arc s<> r'ricc irncl wonclcrfirr. IJut
rcalry: I srrv rct'.s givc illl
tcrrninecl to bc agrceablc; thc' housc, truth be toid, is a shock. tlrc rnorrcy, cvcry Iast fitckirrg clir.rrc, to scicncc.',
Maple scedlings havc sprontecl up thror-rgh thc clirring rt>ont flr>or- Sr>r'rcthi,g cl.rokcs trp irr hi.r. 'r'rrcrc ca, lrc <>ptir,isrrr
in thc irr-
boarcls, ficlrn wherc a trcc outsicle has pushcd intcl thc Rrunclation. crerlrc,ts, thc bits, the chaptcrs; br-rt I hr*,crr't sccrr
lrirrr ir', trvclvc
Squirrcls tl-re size of collies scrabble in thc walls. l)air"rt is chipping years and he h:rs lucl tr> tcll lne thc rvholc
story, strrriqht fi-<>nr the
cverywhere, in scales ancl blisters and flaps; in thc crackecl phster bc{:inlrius, arrcl itls thc rvholc st<>ry tlrrrt,,s-just so sl<.I.
bcneath are writtct-t the tranres <lf wt>rtten rvho, in rt;72, tg73, and "wc both <:arricd thc ucnc but .rcvcr k,crv," hc s;rys. ..'r'h.t'.s
trrc
t974, spent the nicht cluring Spring l\uslt r,veekencl. The kitchen way it rv<>rks"fhc ockls Are ()rc irr tw'c,ty, ti,rcs
.re ill twcrty, .lr(r
ceiling rcirds "sigrna power!" and "Wattk trrc with a spoon." thc, aftcr that. still .rrly orr. irr fbrr. ()rre iu sirtc*r lru,clrctl,
t.tal.
llut I havcn't secn (lal in twelvc ycars, l.lot since he left for llel- llingol We shotrkl ln()vc to Vculs."
gium on a lrulbright, so I trrust bc nice. He sccms difFerent to mc: Whcn I first kncrv Cal, rve rvcrc in Ncrv Vlrk, just ()Llt qracl*
of
shorter, older, cleaner, clespite the housc. In :r burst ol candor, he ttatc sch.<tl; hc w.as si.qlc, arrd anxi.us, a,c.l st*rck
,,," .r r,r,rr",rr,.
has already confessed that those lorre years ago, oLlt of frierlclsliip r'vl'r. woulcl ,cvcr actually rnarry arcl ha'c u f,rrrrilv,
<>r ir. lrc clid,
lor rnc, he'd been cxagllerating his intcrcst in dance. "l didn't get nlarry sorllcorrc dec.rative, s()llrcollc sri,.lrt. rltrt rr<>w;
'v.trltl twcrvc
it," he adnrittecl. "l kcpt trytng t<l figurc out thc rfor)/. IU look at the ycars latcr, his silvcr-haired wi[c, Sirrorrc,
is ,othiriu rikc that: srrc
purplc guy wl-r<> lradn't tnovccl in a while, arrcl I'd think, So what's is big aucl ficrce arrd ori{-rillal, joinccl rvith hinr
in sricf arrrl cour-.
thc issue with fiinr?" agc. Shc stortits t>ut <tf I)TA rircetirrqs. S|c gltrcs
littlc scrluips t<>
Now Chappers tlr{.Is at his lcash. "Ycalr. thc housc." Cal sighs. her sh<>cs. Englislr is hcr third l:rrrguugc; shc rvrs ()nce
u lrrcnr:l.r
 198 / MORE STORIES WE TILI DANCE IN AMt'RICA / 199

diplornat to Belgium and toJapan'

"I miss the caviar" is all she'll say "You'nr sacr, you're backl" Eusene shouts {rom insidc, dashing
Pennsylvania l)utchland' toward thc fiont door as wc step up onto thc front porch with
of it. "l rniss thc caviar so much'" Now in
"The 1o- Chappers. Eugene is in his pajamas already, his body skinny and
,i" p.i,l* satirical oils of long-armed handless people'I can't paint
cals,'1 shc explains in herf;rench accent' giggling' "l]ut hunchecl. [{is glasscs are thick, rnagnifying, and his eyes, puffcd and
a studio frotn one of the swimnring, secm not to niss a thing. FIc siides int<l the front entry-
hands-" She and Eugcne have macle
way, in his stocking feet, and lands on thc floor. He srniies up at me,
wrecked rooms uPstairs'
"How is Simone through all this?" I ask' all charm, like a kid with a crush. He has painted his face with
a sister who diecl Mcrthiolate and hopes we'llfind that funny.
"She\ better than t am," he says' "She had
"Eugene, you look beautiful!" I say.
young. She exPects unhaPPiness'"
' "No I don'tl" he says. "[ look witty)'
"irr, isn't there hope?" I ask' stuck f<rr words'
grown worse' too "Whcre'.s your rrotherr?" asks Cai, unleashing thc dog.
Already, Cal says, Eugene hm degencrated'
hrs lurn5'
i'Stitkin"";' hc calls it' "If he were three' "In thc kitchen. I)ad, Mom says yoll have to go up to the attic
much liquid in
instead ,rf ,.,r"r,, theret be more
hope' The researchers are making and bring down one of the pans for dinner." F{e gets up and chases
after Chappers, to tackle him and bring him back.
some strides; theY reallY are'"
thcre arc olcl Colonial "W'e have a cou;rlc: pots up thcre to catch leaks," Cal explains,
"He''s a great kicl," L"y' Attn" the strect'
houses with canclles lit in each
winclolv; it is a Pennsylvania l)utch taking off liis coat. "[]ut then u.e end up needing the pots fur
custom, or left over frgm l)esert Storrn, dcpending on wl-rorn you cooking, so rve fbtch thcrrr back."
"I)o you neecl some hclp?" I don't know lvhether I should be
ask.
clclg comes up and with Sir-nonc in the kitchen, Ca1 in the attic, or Liugere on the
Cal stops and turns towarcl ure' and the
Eugencr's great"'he says' "[t's t"totjust floor.
nuzzles him. "Ith not just that
chilcl I'11 ever have. It's also that "Oh, no. You with L,ugene," he says.
the precociry or tl-lat ie'.s the only
stay here
L{e's very good at un- "Yeah. Stay here with mc." Eugcnc races back fiom the dog and
hei .such a good pers()l1' I{e accepts things'
grabs rny leg. 'fhe dog barks excitedly.
derstanding everything'"
such sorrow "You can shor,v Huscne yoLrr video," Cal suugests as hc leaves
I cannot irnagine anything in rny lifu that contains
someone' Cal Falls silent' the thc roonr.
as this, sr-rch anticipation of missing
hancl lightly in the middle of "Shorv me your dancc vicleo," he says to rnc in r sings<lng.
dog trots before us, and I place nry
the colcl, empty streets' up "Show me, sho'uv me."
cal,s back as we walk like that through
of sickle moon' like a cup "l)o we havc tirnc?"
in the sky, Venus ancl the thinnest paring
havc made the Turkish flag in "-We havc fiftcen minutes," hc says with great authority. I go
and saucer, like a nose and rnouth'
as we traipse after the dog' the trpstairs and dig it out of n-ry bag, thcn come back dorvn."Wc plug it
the sky. "Look at that," I say to Cal
into the V(lt\ and ncstle on the couch togcther. He huddles close,
leash taut as a stick'
".Woui' Cal says' "The Tirrkish flag'" cold in the drafty house, and I cxterrcl nry lorrg su,,c2ltcr ar<>und him
like a shawl. I try to explain a Fcr.v thiugs, in a qror.vn*up r.vay, ho'"v
this dance canre to be, how lrlove nr(:l)t, rcpentcd, brcaks through all
 DANCE IN AMERICA I 2O1
2OO / MORE STORIES WE TEIL

to ccstasy; Stu<;r,rE rrAS MADr a soup rvith hard-boiled eggs ir-r it (a rcgional
resistencc into a kind of stratosphcrc: flrotlr recalcitrance recipe, she explains), as ,'vell as Peking duck, uirich is ropy antl
nratlc earlier in the weck' lt is a
frot.n shoe to bird. The tapc is one swcet. Cal kecps passir-rg around thc baskct of bread, anxiously,
T.hey each lrad t<l itrvent a
demotrstrirtion with ft;t.rth graders' talking abourt how modcrn man has only been around for 4-5,oocr
cat'l.re up with various crea*
charactcr, thcn ciesign a rnask"l'hey years and probably thc bread hasn't changed nruch since thcn.
turcs: Miss Ninjr Pc:acock' Mr' llicycle Spoke i-Iead' Flvil Suow-
I "Forty-five thousand years?" says Sirnonc. "'Ihat'.s all? 'I'hat
nran. Saber-toothed Mour: "Half-girl-half-man-half-cat'"'Ihen can't be. I feel likc wc've been married for that long."
ancl lecl thcrn' with thcir ulasks
on'
arrangccl the kicls in a phalanx 'flrcre are pcoplc rvho talk with their hands. Then there arc
ls lt'"
ir, dancti to Kenny l-oggins's "'I'his
"nin',p..ruised rapt' f {is brown hair hangs in strings in his face' pcople who talk with thcir arms.'fhen therc arc pcople wl-ro trlk
F{e watches, rvith thcir arms over their l-read. "fhesc arc the ones I like best.
Crowcll"' hc says' l{c knolvs
ancl he chcr'vs on it' " fhcrc's Tbrnmy Simonc is one ol thosc.
royalty' When it is ovcr' hc looks
the fourth sradcrs as if they were "Nope, that's it," says Cal, cheu,ing. "Forty-five thousand.
I'{is caze behind his glasses is
.r*,, ,, nr", snriling, but businesslikc' 'I'hough for about two hundrecl thousand ycars bcfore that, carly
dance"' hc says'
brilliant and <lircct. "That r,vas rcally a worrelerlul lnan was going through all kinds of anatornical changcs to gct
Hc souur,ls likc an agcnt' r,vhcrc wc arc todey. It wa; r ,('r)/ cxcitirrrl tinrc." Ilc pauscs. a littlc
"l )o You re allY thir-rk so?" breathlcssly. "l wish I could have bccn ttrcrc."
has lots of fun' irlterest-
"Absolutclyi' he says' "lt''s colorful and "Hal" exclaims Sinrone.
ing stcps." "'T'hink of thc parties," I say.
"Will I ask'
You be rrrY agcnt?" "Ilight," says Simone. " Joe. how've you becn? Your hcacl'"s so
He scolvls, ."'"t""]"'l cl<ln't kll<lw' Is thc agerrt the pcrson who 6r.q now, ancl, well, what is this crazy thing you'rc doitrg rtitlr your
clrivcs the car?"
, . r-._.-.^, ilway; tl-rc thurnb?' A lot likc the parties in Socla Sprir-rus, Idaho."
"l)inncr\ ready!" Simone calls fk>nr two roo1lls "Sirrrorre used to bc marriccl to solrlconc in Soda Springs,
"'Wank ure witl"r I s1'rtl<;n" rool1l' Iclaho," Oal says to nrc.
"Ootlring!" shouts Eugene' aLrcl he leaps off
tl'rc couch.and
"V;u're kiddingl" I say
sidew;rys into hcr charit' "Whtto"'
slides into the clining tt""'"' falling "Oh, it w-as vcry briefl' she says. "l-lc was ricliculous. I sot ricl of'
urake it"'
he says, out of brclth' "l alnlost dicirr't irim aftcr about six ntonths. Supposeclly, he u,cnt off and killcd
E'ugcnc's place
"Flcre," s;rys Cal' L{c placcs a goblct of pills at
hirnself." Sher srniles at rnc impishly.
sctting. "Who killed hirnself?" asks Euscrt,--. I{er }ras swallowecl all thc
Eugctte ntakcs a facc, but rn thc
chair' he gcts tlp on his knces'
pilis but one.
hancl' lnd begins thc arduous
leans f<>rrvlrcl, glass of water in orre "Mon-rnry'.s first husbancl," says Cai.
activiry of takirrg all the Pills' "Why did he kill himsclf?" Eugene is starins at tlrc rnitldle ol'
nly napkin ir-r nry lap'
I sit in the chair opposite hitn ancl placc the table, trying to thirrk about this.
"Eugene, you'r,e livecl witl"r your ru<lthcr fi:r seveu years n()w,
 DANCE IN AMIRICA / 2O3
202 / MORL STORI['"S WL TELL

want to kill "And once we tried to strroke them out. We lit a fir-c, klrclrvir-rg
ancl you clott't know lr'hy sonrcone closc to her lvould they were therc, but we h<lpecl tlrat the surokc r,vould cause thetn tcl
look straight acloss at each other
ancl
lrirrrsclf?" Sirtlonc tud i:^t scurry ottt the top ancl ncvcr con)c back. Insteacl, tltey caught on
laugh brightly. --.^,, Lr..,,,n,{r,rsr,rncls Iirc and came crashirrg dowr.r into our living roorr"r, :rll charrccl ltncl
ancl vaguc way' L.le understand
Hugenc sniiies in an abbreviatcd is bothered in flamcs and runninil mac{ly aroutrd until they clroppccl clcad." Si-
hc cloesr-r't like or get it' I{e
this is his prrcnts'1nX"' U" laugh' I-lc wants monc swallows sonle w'ine. "Lovc affairs arc likc tirlrt," sltc says.
incluiry into a casual
they havc tttruccl his serior'rs "'fhey all are likc that."
nt'*' instead' i.'t jt"t cliss into the duck' poking
inf<rrnrationl uut I'm confuscd. I glancc up at thc Iight, an old brass octoplls ol a
rncl looking. nYt-1l:-,T" chandelier. All I can think of is how Patrick said, whcn he lcfi, f'rcl
visits' What
Simone asks about thc school l
l I nlarriccl? up with rny "selfishness," that if I were lv<trried nbout staying on
to n'"i Wt-"t i' nry life likc blck hornc? Arr-r
people nicc alone at the lake house, rvith its squirrcls ancl call girl stylc llntps, I
"l'ilr uclt narricd"' I s;rY' should just rent the placc out*-perhaps to a llict: lcsbiarr couple likc
aren't you?" Cal says in
a
"Btit yor-r ancl I'atrick aret still togethcr' rnyself.
cottccrnc,d way. Ilut Eugene, across from me, nods errthusirrstically, looks
"LJh, ntl' Wc trroke r"rP'"
pleasccl. FIe's heerd thc raccoon story bi:flclrc and likcs it. Once
"Y<>u br<>ke up?" Cal puts his
fork down'
again, it'.s been told right, with flames ancl g<>re.
"Yes," I s"rY. sighing Now tlrere is salacl, which wc pick and tcar at like o:orvs. Aftcr-
ln
woulcl nevcr brelk trp!" he
says a
"(lec, I thor'rght ,t"' *t'" ward, we gaze upon tlre bowl of frurit at the ccntcr of thc tablc,
tclnc'
{enuinelY fl abbersastcd at lazily pick a Gw grapcs off their stcrns. We sip hot tca thrt Cal
nta tf'ti' rcassurittg sonlehow that rny rclaticluship
"Rcally?" f brings in fnrm the kitcl-ren. Wc sip ur-rtil it's cool. and thcn urrtil it'.s
least lookccl goocl from
thc orrtsidc' at least to sonlcollc'
thought you guys gone. Already thc tirue is tcrr o'clock.
rcally," aclmits Cal'
"Actually' t
"Wc11, t't<>t "l)ance time, dance tinre!" says Hugenc u,hett we're throush.
wottlil l>rc'rk trp lorrq rlgo'" Every night, before bcd, thcy all go out into thc living roon-r end
"C)h," I saY' to lris fa- dance until Eugene is tired ancl f;rlls asleep otr thc sofa.'['hcn the:y
tl-re arriazing Eugenc
"Scl yorr coulcl t'narry l-rcr?" says ancl hidc carry him upstairs and tr-rck him in.
ar-rd lve all leugh louclly'
pour nlore winc into glasscs'
ther, Hc conrcs over to nry chnir and takes n'ry harrcl, lcads rne out
onr faces irr thcnr' ,, ci--..,.,'
Sinorlc' "rs
't' into the livinu room.
"'Ihe thing to retrlcnrbcr abt>ut love lffairs"' says
"What nrusic sha,ll we clance to?" I ask.
rlccoolls in your chirtlrcy'"
that thcy arc all likc having "You choose," he says, and leads nrc to the shclf r,vherc thcy
Otl'
"()h. r-rot the raccoort stor)"' groar.rs kcep their compact discs. l)crlraps tlrcrc is sontc Stravinskv. l)erlraps
Eugene'
"Ycsl 'I'hc rlccoousl" crics Petrouchka, with its ronsirrg salute to Slrrovctidc.
I'tu slwing at rllY cluck' "Will you conle sce nlc tollrorr()w rvlren yotr visit thc lirulth
o'r chir,rrey"' erplairls Si-
"'We l]lve tttttt""'" sotuctinres itl graders?" he asks as I'm looking thr<lush thc sclccti<>r.r. 'liro nruch
1ll()nc. Jr:an llaez."Ibcl much Mahler. "l'nr irr r()()nl or)e t>lr lirtrr." hc says.
"I-lrrtnrnt," I say' n<lt surprisccl'
 204 / MORE STORIES W[ TTIT DANCF IN AMERICA I 2O5

"'When you visit the fourth sraders, you can just stop by rrry class- what life''s cronc so far down
hcre; this is all and rvhat and every-
room and wavc to me fronr the door. I sit betrveen thc bulletin thi,g it''s nranaged-this b,di1 these
bories, rhat body-so what do
boarcl and the window." you think, Heaven? What do
you fucking think?
"Sure!" I say, not knowing that, in a msh, I will forget, and that "Stand next to nrc.,',
I say, and E.rg",L docs, looking up ar rne
I'll be on the plane home already, leafing thlough some inarrc air- with his orange warrior fhc-e. We
stc.p in place: knces up, knees
line rr-ragazine, bcfore I remember that I forgot to do it. "Look," I down. Krrees trp, knecs clorvn. Dip_glide_slide.
"This is it!" "This is itr" 'r'rrcrr Dip_glide_slide,
say, finding a Kcnny Loggins disc. lt has the song he heard earlier,
*" go i"ira ,rra fling our Iirnbs to
the one from thc video. "Let'.s play this." the sky.
"(ioody," he says. "Mom! Dad! Conre on!"
"A11 right, Eugenie-boy," says Cal, coming in fiom the dining
roolrr. Simone is behind hirn.
"l'nt Mercurry, I'm Neptune, now I'm Pluto so far awayi' says
Eugene, dashing around the room, making up his or,vn dance.
"They're doing the planets in school," says Sinrone.
"Yes," says Eusene. "We'rc doinq the planets!"
"Anci which planet," I ask him, "do you think is the r:rost irrter-
esting?" Mars, with its canals? Suturn, with its rings?
H,ugene stands still, looks at me thoughtfully, soleurnly. "liartlr,
of course," he says.
Cal laughs. "Wcll, that'.s the right answer!"
"This is itl" sings Kenny t,oggins. "This is it!" Wc make a pha-
Ianx and march, strrrt, slide to the nrusic. !7e crouch, n-rove back-
ward, then burst fonvard again. Wete ainring to crcatc the
milclelvy, resinous sweat snrell of dancc, the parscd, repeatecl lnovc-
ment. (lal and Simone are into it.'fhey jigglc and link arnls. "Tltis
is it!" In the nriddlc of the song, Eugene suddenly sits dor,,n r.r to rest
on the sofa, watc;l'ring thc grorvn-ups. l,ike the best dtncers and au-
dicnces in the 'uvorlcl, he is determined not t<t cousl.r until thc end.
"(lome here, honey," I say, going to him. I arr thinking not
or"rly of rny owrl body hcrc, that unbeguilable, broken basket, that
stiff nrerinque. I anr not, I)atrick, thinking only <lf nryself, r.ny l<>st
troupe, rny ernpty bed. I arn thinking of thc dancins body'.s nrau-
nificent ancl ostentatious scorn. This is how 'uve offer ourselvcs.
enter hcaver), enter spcaking: we say r,vith rn<;tion, in space, "l'his is