MASTERS LESSON #3 The Quest For Happiness: How To Live Free Of Worry, Fear, Doubt, Anger And ResistanceMASTERS SESSION #3 The Quest For Happiness: . How To Live Free Of Worry, Fear, Doubt, Anger And Resistance The famous psychologist Dr. Abraham Maslow observed that the history of the human race is of people selling themselves short. People look at others and see ‘them enjoying career success, financial success, entrepreneurial success, optimum health or happiness and say: that fellow can doit, but Iean't. Why do people believe in the superiority of others? Why do people keep selling themselves short? Creative Psycho-Cybernetics isa creative process of discovery, so that you can ‘accept the simple idea: if someone can do it, I can do it. ‘Why can an ex-actor of minimal distinction or a peanut farmer become President of the United States but you can't?” Why can the person across the office from you rise in the corporate ranks but you can't? Why can your brother-in-law start and build his own successful business but you can't? Well, “can’t” is not the operable word here atall. Didn’t..don't..won't; these are more fiting words. Today, a few things may now be out of reach for you, It may, for example, be too late for you to do all the things necessary to lay groundwork, form alliances, get elected to lesser offices, to ultimately become President. But most desirable accomplish- ‘ments are not out of reach at all. One of those within every person's reach is what ‘wecall “happiness.” It seems thatthe entire country ison a never-ending quest for happiness. Entire generations have tried to attain it through addictive and danger- ‘ous narcotics, self-image debilitating and risky promiscuous sex and so-called “free love”. Individuals have tried to atain it through amassing great wealth or taking a vow of poverty and living like paupers. People uproot themselves and ‘move from one place to another with increasing frequency and impulsiveness, in this quest for happiness. Married people divorce, divorced people marry, in search cof another person who will make them happy. None of this works, however, because it is all external and thus superficial. But there is a certain path to happiness, and itis not particularly mystical, complicated or costly. ‘Welcome to the Masters Session, Quest For Happiness. This will be an exciting {earning experience as happiness s the one thing everyone claims to want, yet few ever study to master it’s attainment Everywhere you look it appears everyone is in a frantic race to find happiness - as the song says, “Looking for love in all the wrong places”, but they look for love NOTES PPO CReeeececccereecsocosnc...........in all the wrong people and look for happiness in all the wrong places. They buy ‘cars, boats, airplanes and houses they can’t afford in the belief “things” will bring happiness. Yet others cheat and steal to fuel their passion for material things they perceive will yield happiness. It seems everyone looks everywhere except the only place where you can find true happiness - inside themselves. Of course that's tricky. If we can’t go buy it off a shelf, get it in a box or go to it ‘asa destination, how can we tell when we've got it? It may be easier to approach from the opposite direction: what causes unhappiness? Do you remember, when you were a youngster, reading about the first Thanksgiv- ing? ‘Ourancestors in New England decided to set a date for giving thanks for the year’s harvest. It was a rather disappointing harvest that year - 1621 - but they were grateful for it. Feeling a spirit of generosity, they also sent an invitation to the nearby Indians; Chief Massasoit and his followers accepted and dispatched their contribution to the feast: five robust deer. The joyous feeling of reaching out in friendship was contagious; the Plymouth Colony sent out a bunting party to shoot wild turkey and other game and they retuned from the wilds with game aplenty Athome, the women were busy making combread and preparing cranberries. At our first Thanksgiving the tables were piled high. Huge fires blazed outdoors, turkey, deer and other delicious meat sizzled as the New Englanders and the Indians, in friendship, enjoyed the first Thanksgiving feast in our national history It lasted three days. There was feasting, singing and dancing and wrestling and running races and even a cannon salute. Everybody gave thanks - for the food, the ‘warm fires, and the joy of being alive in an era when people lived short lives and had to take full advantage of their opportunities for celebration. Too often, we overlook our blessings and obsess ourselves with our anxieties. Dr. Edward Kramer noted that just a measly, insignificant penny held to the eye blocks outthe awesomely powerful, brilliant sun. Soitis with our day to day living. Some small, relatively insignificant iritation, annoyance, inconvenience or worry held to the mind’s eye blocks out all the joy and fulfillment available to us minute by ‘minute, hour by hour. We don’ teven take notice of the courteous driver who lets us in in front of her, the waitress who goes out of her way to be pleasant, the ‘employee who is reliable, trustworthy and hardworking every day. We do not 363.celebrate the successful telephone call with a client, the arrival of a profitable order in the office. We donot stop to pat ourselves on the back for choosing healthy foods instead of junk food at lunch, completing a difficult task, or asserting opinions in a meeting. Why don’t we celebrate these things? Because a penny is blocking out the sun. A spec of negativity in the mind’s eye is in the way of all this happiness. To stop the flow of your happiness is easy. You can always find a newspaper headline to frighten you or an acquaintance with a pessimistic or frightened or angry outlook to depress you. You can always find a disease to worry about - or ‘economic pressures, or taxes, or other images of some vague impending catastro- phe. You can always feel rejected when others frown instead of smiling at you. ‘There ARE plenty of opportunities to find unhappiness all around you, if that is ‘what you choose to focus your energy on. If you treat your Servo-Mechanism as « Failure Mechanism and dispatch it in search of unhappiness, it won't have very far to look and it won't have to work very hard. Any fool can be miserable. Itis easy NOT to be happy. Maybe it’s not supposed to be. If you are to be happy, realize that you are the provider of your happiness. You are the host at your feast of Thanksgiving, You are the one who must stoke high your blazing fires of contentment. ‘You, with your good opinion of yourself, through the good graces of your self- image, can pile yous tables high with the emotional food that can sustain you through good days and bad - until you reach out to the Thanksgiving feast that is success. Even when your harvest is disappointing - when your income falls, or your marriage is at low tide, or you have a fight with your boss, or your car needs overhauling and you don't have the money - if, in your imagination you feast on vibrant images of your past successes, you can heal your wounds, feel the strength of your resources and still give thanks. ‘You can even, exulting in your resurgent strength, extend the hand of generosity to other people, giving them your spirit of Thanksgiving. Infact, the taking of a true leadership role in life is a certain path to happiness. When you concentrate on uplifting others, you automatically rise. And you will discover true happiness. ‘Thanksgiving can come every day in which, focusing on the abundant opportunity squarely in front of you and your own choices as opposed to the many things around you over which you have no immediate control, you achieve some worthwhile progress toward one or more of your own goals. That is so important Notes 364. 2 OD OO OE OOO OO O OC 0 6 028 2400460006000 0680804684864| want to say it again - and to encourage you to break apart its instructions: ‘Thanksgiving can come every day in which, focusing on the abundant opportunity squarely in front of you and on your own choices as opposed to the many things around you over which you have no immediate control, you achieve some ‘worthwhile progress toward one or more of your goals. Consider the coach of a terrible, losing team. Jimmy Johnson, his first year at Dallas, just as an example, Was Coach Johnson happy about losing game after game after game? Certainly not. But was he happy coaching? Absolutely. Why? Because he knew he was not his team's mistakes or even his mistakes of the ‘moment; his healthy self-image knew him to be a winner. Each day he focused on those things over which he had control. Did he have the personnel he wanted? No. So he focused on improving the performance of the people he did have, cementing relationships with those he intended to keep, and building with the next season and the season afierthat in mind. He kept the vision of winning the Super Bowl clearly in mind. He set and made progress toward goals. And even after a losing effort he was able to find honest, geuine improvements to be thankful for and proud of. ‘Thanksgiving can come every day in which, rising above your past failures and forgiving yourself for all your mistakes and human imperfections, you choose to warm yourself with images of success and feast anew on what you can make of the new day ‘And, most important, Thanksgiving can be celebrated even on a bad day, a wretched day, a day in which everything goes wrong, a day in which you move from mistake to mistake. Even on such days you can still accept yourself, still support yourself, still feed yourself intellectually, emotionally, Psycho-Cyber- netically Let me make this clear: Zero Resistance Living does NOT guarantee you will never ‘meet with resistance, Not at all. There's a saying: the kite rises fastest AGAINST the wind. You WILL encounter resistance. But you will be able to move through it like a heated butter knife through a chunk of butter. ‘That, by the way, is a High Voltage Image: see yourself morphed into a giant, heated knife slicing through big bars of yellow resistance with ease. A general attitude of happiness solidly based on a habit of Thanksgiving melts all resistance away, - If you are to attain and sustain this overriding sense of happiness, you have some baggage to jettison, some handicaps to overcome. Iam going to describe the TEN NOTESMAJOR HAPPINESS HANDICAPS. It’s unlikely you ae afflicted with them all ~ certainly not with equal intensity - butt isa virtual certainty youare afflicted with some. Now let us remember that these ae all self-inflicted wounds. No one makes you a victim without your consent. You have the power to identify which of these handicaps you are lugging around and to choose to leave it behind. Happiness Handicap #1: Grudges. You have been wronged, cheated, abused. ‘Someone has taken advantage of you. Dwelling on this sets up a barrier between ‘you and happiness. The more you dwell om it, the bigger and thicker and stronger the barrier becomes. Consider the divorced person who constantly complains about the ex-spouse to every new friend of the opposite sex. He might as well hang a sign around his neck that says: “Warning: I Am NOT Capable Of Happiness.” ‘You have to smash that wall to smithereens with the strongest of all hammers: forgiveness. Then you must put the remains of the wall behind you and never look ‘back. That is old business, best left to the history books, covered with dust, unread, locked away in the basement or attic. The quest for happiness begins and ends in the present moment. Happiness Handicap #2: Envy. The salesman who envies a peer's better relation- ship with the boss, better leads, better territory or better car, better whatever, will be unhappy everday of his working life. It is interesting to note how often people are envious of each other and don't know it. The married person envies the bachelor his freedom and presumably more exciting, daring life; the bachelor ‘envies the married person his committed relationship and stable home life. Our ‘eyesightis flawed; everywhere we look into the distance, we see greener pastures, But when we getup close, we are shocked to see that what looked like a lush, green pasture is no better and sometimes worse than the plot of ground we were standing ‘on and unhappy with. Envy focuses the Servo-Mechanism on lack rather than on abundance, so it busies itself creating more lack. Envy is paralyzing rather than motivating. If you must take serious note of what others may have that you do not, do so with admiration and respect; with healthy curiosity about what they know or do that you need to Jearn or do; and use all that as inspiration to strive. Donot waste time and energy whining or crying about what you don’ thave or what the other fellow has. Never live only for what you may getor achieve in the future, Donot obsess over what you may have had and lost. The quest for happiness begins and ends in the present moment. | FFF FVVIIFZIIZITTDIDDIDSSIDDBVVT_DADDDDVIDID933D333B29222Happiness Handicap #3: Withdrawal. Some people withdraw fom life. They are still breathing, eating, discarding waste, functioning physically, but not intellec- ‘ually or emotionally. Why do some people suddenly die only a few months afier Tetirement? Because they withdraw from life itself. There is no excuse in our great country to withdraw from life. There are plenty of places to go and things todo that require little or no money: the public library, the Little League baseball game or high school football game, a walk in a public park, or doing volunteer work at a hospital or senior center or youth center. Do not let your mind atrophy, not even for a day. Read the daily newspaper and a good book. Engage in spirited conversation, DO something. Some people withdraw from life because they fear rejection. Their self-image is: too old to be interesting to anybody else. ..00 fat to be welcomed into a group...too poor...to0 this or that. They reject themselves before anybody even has an opportunity to rejectthem! You cannot live in fear and be happy. Ifyou are overweight and want to do something about it, join Weight ‘Watchers; you willbe welcomed there, you will not be looked down upon, and you will begin re-building your self-image through accomplishment. If you are a senior, and retired, volunteer. Retired businessmen can work through the Small Business Administration and give needed counseling, free, to struggling entrepre- neurs, There is no person without opportunity to engage life. Today, even if you are immobile and confined to your home, even to a hospital bed, you can use a laptop computer and a phone, access the Internet, and participate in discussion sroups with people from all parts ofthe world, You can write to pen pals. Youcan bea consultant, a telephone salesperson, a politcal activist or a friend to other shut- ins with only a telephone, never leaving home, if you can't. If you are poor, do something about that. Don’t withdraw. Fight. And win, Make crats that you can sell, start a business washing and polishing cars, go to night school or take a correspondence course. Do not withdraw to the past, do not hide from the future The quest for happiness begins and ends in the present moment. Happiness Handicap #4: Worry. We are a nation of compulsive worriers Our “What IPs” are many: what if there's war or the bomb drops, what if the stock market crashes, what if there's no Social Security when I retire, what iT get ill ‘what if my spouse leaves me, what if my kids use drugs, what if my company ‘lownsizes: The wonderful truth s that most of what we worry about never happens and that, quite frankly, is a miracle, because our worries ARE commands to the Failure Mechanism to get busy. Here is what you must do about worry. Ifyou ha 4 legitimate, smart concern, do what you can to protect yourself from it. Make sure Youhave diversified investments. Adequate health insurance, Save every paydayfor retirement. Eat well and exercise to ward off illness. And so on. Then, knowing that you have done or are doing what can be done, pat yourself on the back for that, and focus on your goals. A worry can grow to the size ofa big potato or shrink to the size of a pea -that’s up to you. Remember that your factory, your imagination, can only deal with one command ata time, one idea ata time, one image at time. ‘The quest for happiness begins and ends in the present moment. Happiness Handicap #5: Laziness. There are many kinds of laziness. There is intellectual laziness. Dr. Abraham Maslow taught us that humans are happiest when learning new skills, making new discoveries. Intellectual curiosity fosters happiness. The great speaker Cavett Robert says “School is never out for the pro.” ‘Yes -always be leaming, growing, getting better. Beyond that, engage your mind with new and different stimulus. Read a magazine this month you've never read before. Goto the opera ANDa rock concert. The museum AND a ball game. There is also emotional laziness, not unlike withdrawal. And there is physical laziness, ‘The great actress Helen Hayes suggested this, as a ‘prescription for living’: Take one brisk walk toa library. Take out a book by a tried and true writer. Take a brisk walk home and read with all attention. The exercise of the walk plus the tonic of the book will attend to all physical and mental requirements for good health. Helen Hayes practiced her craft for over 60 years, was known as ‘the first lady of American theater’, and enjoyed her entre life, so her advice has merit. Self-made billionaire W. Clement Stone’s favorite affirmaton is: DO IT NOW. Well, certainly do something now. Right now. Because the quest for happiness begins and ends in the present moment. Happiness Handicap #6: Selfishness. Yes, it is true that, fundamentally, every- thing we do is for self-interest. But there isa difference between self-interest and selfishness. Selfishness, to me, means greedy, self-absorbed, and fearful. The person who will not share refuses out of fear that he will lose what little he has and be unable to replace it. He never discovers the mysterious truth that the best way tomultiply your own wealth s by giving, not hoarding. Once again, you cannot live in fear and be happy. Because selfishness is fear, it precludes happiness. Be ‘generous with material possessions as well as with your spirit. I will come back to this later, as it is MY favorite ‘prescription for living’: to give every moment that you can, Happiness Handicap #7: Goal-lessness. Every living thing has a built-in guidance system or goal-striving device put there by its Creator to help it achieve goals, in a broad sense, to live. You have such 4 mechanism installed inside you. It IS 368.genetic. Itis part of being human. But it came with a pric: when you fail to use it for productive, fulfilling, meaningful purposes, it manufactures unhappiness. It will do one or the other. Do you remember the painting I described to you, that Salvador Dali painted for me; a depiction of Psycho-Cybemetics in action: a man walking out of total darkness into the briliant sunshine, This only happens if you are moving toward meaningful goals. Ifyou have a goal for right now, this minute, thishour, this day. If you do not, your man will step back into the darkness, shrink to the size ofa pea, and disappear Happiness Handicap #8: Ignorance and Stupidity. Albert Einstein was pro- nounced “stupid” by others, by his teachers, but his own self-image knew the truth: that he was brilliant but bored. Many of the greatest experts and achievers in their fields have been self-taught in that specialty, not formally educated. No matter ‘what your current standing is, in terms of formal education, literacy, diversity of knowledge and specalized skills, you can improve dramatically, ata rapid pace, if you will seta goal and develop a plan to do so. This is important, because itis very difficult for ignorant or stupid people to be happy. The feelings of inferiority rise up, wash over them, and drown them. Ignorance is not knowing something ‘There's no shame in that. Stupidity is not knowing, knowing you don’t know, but not bothering to learn. There is shame in that, The use and nurturing and stimulating and challenging of intelligence strengthens the self-image, so happi- ness is possible, At the end of the day, ask yourself what you have LEARNED. At the end of the year, ask yourself how you have GROWN. Happiness Handicap #9 Unhappy Association. It is enough of a challenge in today’s society to manage your own emotions 50 as to be happy without carrying around a few woefully unhappy people on your back and attempting to overcome their dead weight. No, no other person can ever MAKE you happy. That is your responsibility and no one else's. On the other hand, the people you choose to share your life, energy and time with can either contribute to an environment conducive to happiness or contribute to an environment conducive to unhappiness. They can be help or handicap. If your closest friends are chronically and unrelentingly unhappy, you'd better distance yourself from them. It ust stands to reason that you don’ traise and train a thoroughbred horse with slow cows. If you want to be happy, you should seek out people who are, and associate with them. You probably won't find them at the horribly mis-named “Happy Hour” at the local tavern either. Every minute you invest in being with an unhappy person is a minute of your own happiness lost forever, because the quest for happiness begins and ends with the present moment. NOTES 369.Happiness Handicap #10: Stress And Tension. We have come to understand that some kinds and quantities of stress are actually good for us. But being constantly stressed out, anxious and unable to relax is not. Such unrelenting tension is an insurmountable impediment to happiness. The person who lives far beyond his means, enslaved to debt desperately worried about where his next dollar is coming from and when it will arrive cannot be happy. The person stuck in a job he finds boring, distasteful, wasteful of his abilities cannot be happy. We need relaxation. Now let me give you my favorite prescription for happiness: focus on bringing ‘happiness to others rather than getting it for yourself. The self-image is enormously strengthened by being the person who creates happiness for others. Let me suggest aan experiment: make a list of no less than ten toas many as fifty people in your life that you would like to create happiness for. This list will probably include your lover, close family members, friends, co-workers, maybe key clients or customers, and so on. Be sure you have their phone numbers, FAX numbers and addresses on the list, and carry the list with you al the time. Set goals to do something to create happiness for each of those people once a week and not to let a day pass without doing atleast one happiness creation act. Keepa litte diary of what you do and who you do it for each day. Try this for 6 weeks and I promise you will experience the ‘most remarkable of results. It’s also helpful to make a list of all the things you can think of to create happiness for these people, and work from that list. Most of these ccan be small things, by the way. If you regularly call your mother every Sunday, call her on a Tuesday for no special reason. if you travel, send postards home. Clip ‘out a good cartoon from the newspaper and FAX itto your friends. Try this for just 6 weeks, It can change your life. ‘Would you be willing to go even a step further? To take a leadership role in your ‘company, community or church, in spreading happiness? Napoleon Hill and W. Clement Stone, in the book Success Through a Positive Mental Attitude, write that “One of the surest ways to find happiness for yourself is to devote your energies toward making someone else happy. Happiness is an elusive, transitory thing. Andif you set out to search for it, you will find it evasive. But if you try to bring happiness to someone else, then it comes to you. Thisis basic truth. We are brothers and sisters, but too often we don'trealize it and ‘withdraw from each other, in our minds, or devote our energies to armed combat, in which we seek to outmaneuver each other - usually to gain material possessions which never give us the sense of joy we could experience in human kindness, NOTES 370. OLB 4242 468:4224864444422 66 46 € 226 £22468.2.4.6 6444644440444.When you help others, you help yourself, You feel that you are useful, that you are a meaningful person, a contributing member of society. In addition, if the people you help are appreciative (and most people are grateful for kindness), you feel the warmth oftheir reaction to you and your social interaction can be a friendly cone. To be happy, you must lear the art of give-and-take, whichis the lifeblood of civilized living, ‘The person who is just a “taker” can never be happy. A man whose whole life is grabbing money like a shark killer ora woman who accepts others’ gifts like a pampered pet - neither can be happy in this kind of role. One must know the joy of giving, the spine-tingling thrill of making somebody else happy, to know the real meaning of conteutment Now, what does happiness have to do with resistance? Everything. Other people find it remarkably difficult to resist a genuinely cheerful, pleasant person of good humor. Being of good cheer and good humor is a little-understood secret of considerable personal power and influence. Even his political opponents - like Tip (O'Neil - found it difficult to be disagreeable to Ronald Reagan, because he was so ‘consistently of good humor and good cheer. He didn't fight resistance; he melted itaway, Maybe you are asking yourself: can I be such a person? Your present self-image ‘may not be that of the person in a perpetual tate of thanksgiving, That's alright. Acknowledge things as they are, but then determine to change, so that your attitudes and behavior work better for you, And remember that anyone CAN change. fanyone needs an emotional face lift, convicts do, So many former prisoners lapse into a permanent state of despair, unchanging, hopeless, paralyzed by fears and resentments, unable to even imagine being happy Psycho-Cybernetics has been taught at the federal penitentiary at Leavenworth; hundreds have benefited from this instruction, fulfilling themselves as better human beings upon their return to society. Here is a letter from one who took the course and became successful after his release from prison Dear Dr. Maltz: In preparing myself to re-enter society as a produc- tive and useful member, I have in these past four years given considerable thought along the lines of re-establishing my values and attitudes. Although I have learned a beneficial and worthwhile trade to aml.support my family, there was still something lacking. Not being able to put my finger on it, I enlisted in various courses of self-help programs to try to fill that empty something within me. That missing happi- ness factor. I enrolled in a psycho-cybernetics class. As the weeks of instruction and study passed, I was pleas antly surprised that I had developed an inner peace within myself. Re-evaluating my self-image, through conscious practice of psycho-cybernetics exercises, has filled my life. I am now prepared to return to society and my family, thanks to psycho-cybernetics. I realize I have much to be thankful for. My family is sticking by me. I’ve been learning a trade, as I said. Im going to be given a second chance. I know there will be tough times ahead, but I’m developing a tough self-image to handle it.” If this convict can find reasons for gratitude, optimism and happiness, certainly, you can too. There is one final key to succeeding at the quest for happiness. Imagine that, sitting in your garage, is one of the most powerful riding lawn mowers or tractors ever built. Equipped with an unstoppable motor. Big, razor sharp blades. But outside your yard is unkempt, grass overgrown, weeds taking over. You see this and think about what a good idea it would be to cut the grass. You know you SHOULD mow the lawn and get it looking good, if for no other reason than courtesy to your neighbors. Y ou realize that each day you delay, the task gets harder. But you never start the engine and drive that tractor out ofthe garage. Itisasif you had no tractor atall. A person lives in an area of the country where the weather is disagreeable, the ‘economy is poor, the local neighborhood is deteriorating, crime, congestion, pollution is on the rise. As this person walks or drives through his neighborhood, he is increasingly frustrated with all this and longing for how things used to be, or longing for a nicer, safer, more pleasant place to live. Will he move? My points this: You must not accepta life in which - because you are habituated toitor because you are afraid of change - you bore yourself to death. You must not NOTES 372.shor-change yourself, denying yourself the right to lve fully and experience the ‘quest for happiness. You must not sell yourself short. You must ACT You must ‘ake action. Inertia and happiness are polar opposites Now here are some happiness affirmations you may wantto pick upon and use: Tact and feel friendly toward other people * Tam tolerant of other people, thet shortcomings and mistakes, and | view ‘heir actions withthe most favorable understanding possible Tactas though atainment of my goals is sure to happen, Lam the kind of individual I aspire to be, and everything I do and the w this individuality ‘ay I feel expresses Twill not allow my judgment or attitude to be affected by negativism or Pessimism, {ty 0 smile as often as possible; at least several times a day. Tknow it brings happiness respond in a calm and intelligent manner without ttalarm, no matter what the situation TFT cannot control a situation, try always to react in a Positive manner, even to negative facts. know that if apply myself to forming happiness habits it will have a Positive influence on my self image in a most constructive way. By ‘making these actions a part of my life, I will notice a my self-confidence. lefinite growth in Tam the kind of person who encourages, motivates a People. ind cheers other And so the MASTERY of happiness begins and ends with the self-image, in your own mind, in the present moment.374. MENTAL TRAINING EXERCISE #67 TEN THINGS I CAN DO ABOUT THE WORRY DESCRIBED AS: Ss (You may photocopy this page for future use.)WHAT HAVE I LEARNED TODAY? (You may photocopy this page for future use.)376. MENTAL TRAINING EXERCISE #69 ‘THE PEOPLE I WILL CREATE HAPPINESS FOR, WITHOUT CONCERN OVER RECIPROCITY! 1. Name. Phone, Address. FAX, 2. Name____________—— Phone, Address, FAX, 3. Name. Phone, Address FAX, 4. Name, Phone. Addrém_ PA 5. Name. Phone. Address, FAX. 6. Name. Phone, Address. FAX. 7. Name. Phone, Address, FAX. 8. Name. Phone. Address, FAX. 9. Name Phone. Address. FAX, 10. Name. Phone Address, FAX, (You may photocopy this page for future use.)ING EXERCISE #70 HAPPINESS CREATION DIARY WHO WHATIDID (You may photocopy this page for future use.)VT TTF FFF FF SSCS SOS SS SEES SESE UCTS eee WHATIDID (You may photocopy this page for future use.) DIARY q ¥ Hdd dda! q ddavucreag gl adavucrdag gl admeneraad HAPPINESS CREATI Week #4383. MEN’ ING EXERCISE #71 MASTERING HAPPINESS. "You will find yourself when you lose yourself in service to mankind." —Mother Teresa Another Zero Resistance Living principle is: Help others and happiness will be yours. Learn to experience the magic of feelings often called "a helper high.” First, list some past accomplishments where you unselfishly helped others. Second, list an action plan where there are opportunities for you to help others. (Remember: unselfishly!) Think about family, church, community, service opportunities. 1, 1u may photocopy this page for future use.)384. MENTAL TRAINING EXERCISE #72 MASTERING HAPPINESS Here is your wrap-up Happiness Exercise. 1. Write in one change you are committed to make toward Zero Resistance Living, 2. Read and review this commitment list every day for 21 days. Practice these Happiness Habits: © I will act and fee! friendly toward other people © am tolerant of other people, their shortcomings and mistakes, and I view their actions with the most favorable understanding possible. @ —_ Tactas though attainment of my goals is sure to happen. I am the kind of individual | aspire to be, and everything I do and the way I feel expresses this individuality © I will not allow my judgement or attitude to be affected by negativism or pessimism. © I try to smile as often as possible; at least several times a day. I know it brings happiness. © respond in a calm and intelligent manner without alarm, no matter what the situation @ If cannot control a situation, I try always to react in a positive manner, even to negative facts. © I know that if | apply myself to forming habits to enable me to act in the above manner, it will have a positive influence on my self-image (You may photocopy this page for future use.)“The Station” by Robert J. Hastings Tucked away in our subconsci skylines and village halls, Bat uppermost in our minds isthe final destination. Bands willbe playing and flags ronan nate ME 8 there our dreams will come true, and the pieces efor Ine will fit [pgether like ajigsaw puzzle, How restessy we pace the aisles damning the minutes for loitering, waiting, waiting, waiting for the station When we reach the station, that willbe it!” we cry “When P'm 18." “When I buy a new 450SL Mercedes-Benz!” “When I put the las kid through college ” “When I have paid off the mortgage!” “When I get a promotion.” “When I reach the a S00 ” Teisn’t the tis the regrets over yesterday and the fear of tomorrow. Regret and fear are twin thieves who rob us of today So stop pacing the aisles and count eeJust once in my life have 1 been paralyzed by fear. The occasion was a calculus exam during my freshman year in college for which I somehow had managed not to study. I sill remember the room I marched to that spring morning with feelings of doom and foreboding heavy in my heart. hhad been in that lecture hall for many classes. This morning, though, I noticed nothing through the windows and did not see the hall at all. My gaze shrank tothe patch of floor directly in front of me as I made my way to seat ‘near the door. As I opened the blue cover of my exam book, there was the thump in my ears of heartbeat, there was the taste of anxiety in the pit of my stomach, Hooked at the exam questions once, quickly. Hopeless. For an hour 1 stared at that page, my mind racing over the consequences I would suffer. ‘The same thoughts repeated themselves over and over, a tape loop of fear and wembling. I sat motionless, like an animal frozen in mid-move by ‘curare. What strikes me most about that dreadful moment was how con- stricted my mind became. I did not spend the hour in a desperate attempt to patch together some semblance of answers to the test. did not daydream. I ‘simply sat fixated on my terror, waiting for the ordeal to finish ? ‘That narrative of an ordeal by terror is my own; itis to this day for me the most convincing evidence of the devastating impact of emotional distress on mental clarity. I now see that my ordeal was most likely a testament to the ower of the emotional brain to overpower, even paralyze, the thinking brain. ‘The extent to which emotional upsets can interfere with mental life is no news to teachers, Students who are anxious, angry, or depressed don't learn; People who are caught in these states do not ake in information efficiently or 92999298200000000000000093070200700730007322%222044Understanding... between the grab-the-marshmallow preschoolers and their gratification delaying peers was dramatic. Those who had resisted temptation at four were now, as adolescents, more socially competent: personally effective, self- assertive, and better able to cope with the frustrations of life. They were less likely to go to’ pieces, freeze, or regress under stress, or become rattled and disorganized when pressured; they embraced challenges and pursued them instead of giving up even in the face of difficulties; they were self-reliant and confident, trustworthy and dependable; and they took initiative and plunged into projects. And, more than a decade later, they were still able to delay ratification in pursuit of their goals, The third or so who grabbed for the marshmallow, however, tended to have fewer of these qualities, and shared instead a relatively more troubled psychological portrait. In adolescence they were more likely to be seen as shying away from social contacts; o be stubborn and indecisive; to be easily upset by frustrations; to think of themselves as “bad or unworthy; to regress ‘or become immobilized by stress; to be mistrustful and resentful about not “getting enough”; to be prone to jealousy and envy; to overreact to irritations with a sharp temper, so provoking arguments and fights. And, after all those ‘years, they still were unable to put off gratification ‘What shows up in 2 small way early in life blossoms into a wide range of social and emotional competences as life goes on, The capacity to impose a delay on impulse is at the root of a plethora of efforts, from staying on a dietto pursuing a medical degree, Some children, even at four, had mastered the basics: they were able to read the social situation as one where delay was beneficial, to pry their attention from focusing on the temptation at hand, and to distract themselves while maintaining the necessary perseverance toward their goal—the two marshmallows. Even more surprising, when the tested children were evaluated again as they were finishing high school, those who had waited patiently at four were far superior as students to those who had acted on whim. According to their parents’ evaluations, they were more academically competent: better able 10 pput their ideas into words, to use and respond to reason, to concentrate, 10 make plans and follow through on them, and more eager to learn. Most astonishingly, they had dramatically higher scores on their SAT tests, The third of children who at four grabbed for the marshmallow most eagerly had an average verbal score of 524 and quantitative (or “math") score of 528; the third who waited longest had average scores of 610 and 652, respectively —a 210-point difference in total score.® tage four, how children do on this test of delay of gratification is twice as powerful a predictor of what their SAT scores will be as is 1Q at age four; 1Q becomes a stronger predictor of SAT only after children learn to read.? This suggests that the ability to delay gratification contributes powerfully to intel- lectual potential quite apart from IQ itself. (Poor impulse control in child- hood is also a powerful predictor of later delinquency, again more so than 1Q%) As we shall see in Part Five, while some argue that IQ cannot be changed and so represents an unbendable limitation on a child's life poten-tial, there is ample evidence that emotional skills such as impulse control and accurately reading a social situation can be learned. ‘What Walter Mischel, who did the study, describes with the rather infe- itous phrase “goal-directed self-imposed delay of gratification” is perhaps the essence of emotional self-regulation: the ability to deny impulse in the service of a goal, whether it be building a business, solving an algebraic ‘equation, or pursuing the Stanley Cup. His finding underscores the role of emotional intelligence as a meta-ability, determining how well or how poorly people are able to use their other mental capacities. FOUL MOODS, FOULED THINKING I worry about my son. He just started playing on the varsity football team, so he's bound to get an injury sometime. It's so nerve-wracking to watch him play that I've stopped going to his games. I'm sure my son must be disap- Pointed that I'm not watching him play, but it's simply too much for me to take, ‘The speaker is in therapy for anxiety; she realizes that her worry is interfer- ing with leading the kind of life she would like." But when it comes time to make a simple decision, such as whether to watch her son play football, her mind floods with thoughts of disaster. She is not free to choose; her worries ‘overwhelm her reason. ‘As we have seen, worry is the nub of anxiety’s damaging effect on mental performance of all kind. Worry, of course, is in one sense a useful response gone awry—an overly zealous mental preparation for an anticipated threat. But such mental rehearsal is disastrous cognitive static when it becomes trapped in a stale routine that captures attention, intruding on all other attempts to focus elsewhere. ‘Anxiety undermines the intellect. In a complex, intellectually demanding, ‘and high-pressure task such as that of air traffic controllers, for example, having chronically high anxiety is an almost sure predictor that a person will eventually fail in training or in the field. The anxious are more likely to fail even given superior scores on intelligence tests, asa study of 1,790 students in training for air traffic control posts discovered.}? Anxiety also sabotages academic performance of all kinds: 126 different studies of more than 36,000 People found that the more prone to worries a person is, the poorer their academic performance, no matter how measured—grades on tests, grade. point average, or achievement tests.12 ‘When people who are prone to worry are asked to perform a cognitive task such as sorting ambiguous objects into one of two categories, and narrate what is going through their mind as they do so, it is the negative thoughts—“I won't be able to do this,” “I'm just no good at this kind of test, and the like—that are found to most directly disrupt their decision-making Indeed, when a comparison group of nonworriers was asked to worry onFor A Better Understanding... purpose for fifteen minutes, their ability to do the same task deteriorated sharply. And when the worriers were given 2 fifteen-minute relaxation session—which reduced their level of worrying—before trying the task, they hhad no problem with it. Test anxiety was first studied scientifically in the 1960s by Richard Alpen, who confessed to me that his interest was piqued because as a student his nerves often made him do poorly on tests, while his colleague, Ralph Haber, found that the pressure before an exam actually helped him to do better.*5 Their research, among other studies, showed that there are two kkinds of anxious students: those whose anxiety undoes their academic performance, and those who are able to do well despite the stress—or, ppethaps, because of it16 The irony of test anxiety is that the very apprehen- ssion about doing well on the test that, ideally, can motivate students like Haber to study hard in preparation and so do well can sabotage success in ‘others. For people who are too anxious, like Alpert, the pretest apprehen- sion interferes with the clear thinking and memory necessary to study effectively, while during the test it disrupts the mental clarity essential for doing well. ‘The number of worries that people report while taking a test directly predicts how poorly they will do on it” The mental resources expended on ‘one cognitive task—the worrying—simply detract from the resources avail- able for processing other information; if we are preoccupied by worries that ‘we're going to flunk the test we're taking, we have that much less attention to expend on figuring out the answers. Our worries become self-fulfilling prophecies, propelling us toward the very disaster they predict. People who are adept at harnessing their emotions, on the other hand, can use anticipatory anzxiety—about an upcoming speech or test, say—to moti- vate themselves to prepare well for it, thereby doing well. The classical literature in psychology describes the relationship between anxiety and performance, including mental performance, in terms of an upside-down U. Atthe peak of the inverted U is the optimal relationship between anxiety and performance, with a modicum of nerves propelling outstanding achieve- ‘ment. But too little anxiety —the first side of the U—brings about apathy or 100 little motivation to try hard enough to do well, while too much anxiety— the other side of the U—sabotages any attempt to do well A mildly elated state—bypomania, as itis technically called—seems opti- mal for wnters and others in creative callings that demand fluidity and imaginative diversity of thought; it is somewhere toward the peak of that inverted U. But letthat euphoria get out of control to become outright mania, as in the mood swings of manic-depressives, and the agitation undermines the ability to think cohesively enough to write well, even though ideas flow freely—indeed, much too freely to pursue any one of them far enough to produce a finished product. Good moods, while they last, enhance the ability to think flexibly and with more complexity, thus making it easier to find solutions to problems, whether intellectual or interpersonal. This suggests that one way to helpsomeone think through a problem is to tell them a joke, Laughing, like lation, seems to help people think more broadly and associate more freely, noticing relationships that might have eluded them otherwise—a mental skill important not just in creativity, but in recognizing complex relationships and foreseeing the consequences of a given decision. ‘The intellectual benefits of a good laugh are most striking when it comes to solving a problem that demands a creative solution. One study found that people who had just watched a video of television bloopers were better at solving a puzzle long used by psychologists to test creative thinking, 1®In the test people are given a candle, matches, and a box of tacks and asked to attach the candle to a corkboard wall soit will bum without dripping wax on the floor. Most people given this problem fall into “functional fixedness,” thinking about using the objects in the most conventional ways. But those ‘who had just watched the funny film, compared to others who had watched film on math or who exercised, were more likely to see an alternative use for the box holding the tacks, and so come up with the creative solution: tack the box to the wall and use it as a candleholder. Even mild mood changes can sway thinking. In making plans or decisions People in good moods have a perceptual bias that leads them to be more expansiveand positivein their thinking. Thisis partly because memory is state- specific, so that while in a good mood we remember more positive events; as ‘We think over the pros and cons of a course of action while feeling pleasant, ‘memory biases our weighing of evidence in a positive direction, making us ‘ore likely to do something slightly adventurous or risky, for example. By the same token, being in a foul mood biases memory in a negative direction, making us more likely to contract into a fearful, overly cautious decision. Emotions out of control impede the intellect. But, as We saw in Chapter 5, we can bring out-of-control emotions back into line; this emo- tional competence is the master aptitude, facilitating all other kinds of intel- ligence, Consider some cases in point: the benefits of hope and optimism, and those soaring moments when people outdo themselves. PANDORA'S BOX AND POLIVANNA: THE POWER OF POSITNE THINKING College students were posed the following hypothetical situation: [Although you set your goal of geting a B, when your first exam score, worth 30% of your final grade is returned, you have received aD. It is now one ‘week after you have leamed about the D grade. What do you do?! Hope made all the difference. The response by students with high levels of, hope was to work harder and think of a range of things they might try that could bolster their final grade. Students with moderate levels of hope thought of several ways they might up their grade, but had far less determination to 2 Oe @ @ @ @ @ @ O 0 2 2 22S O22 2022044282468 084804040'For A Better Understanding... pursue them. And, understandably, students with low levels of hope gave up ‘on both counts, demoralized The question is not just theoretical, however. When C. R. Snyder, the University of Kansas psychologist who did this study, compared the actual academic achievement of freshman students high and low on hope, he discovered that hope was a better predictor oftheir first-semester grades than ‘were their scores on the SAT, a test supposedly able to predict how students will fare in college (and highly correlated with 1Q). Again, given roughly the same range of intellectual abilities, emotional aptitudes make the critical difference. Snyder's explanation: “Students with high hope set themselves higher goals and know how to work hard to attain them. When you compare students of equivalent intellectual aptinude on their academic achievements, ‘what sets them apart is hope."2° AAs the familiar legend has it, Pandora, a princess of ancient Greece, was given a gift, a mysterious box, by gods jealous of her beauty. She was told she ‘must never open the gift. But one day, overcome by curiosity and temptation, Pandora lifted the lid to peek in, letting loose in the world the grand afflictions—disease, malaise, madness. But 2 compassionate god let her close the box just in time to capture the one antidote that makes life's misery bearable: hope. Hope, modern researchers are finding, does more than offer a bit of solace amid affliction: it plays a surprisingly potent role in life, offering an advantage in realms as diverse as school achievement and bearing up in onerous jobs. Hope, in a technical sense, is more than the sunny view that everything will tum out all right. Snyder defines it with more specificity as “believing you have both the will and the way to accomplish your goals, whatever they ‘may be.” People tend to differ in the general degree to which they have hope in this sense. Some typically think of themselves as able to get out of a jam or find ‘ways to solve problems, while others simply do not see themselves as having the energy, ability, or means to accomplish their goals. People with high levels of hope, Snyder finds, share certain traits, among them being able to motivate themselves, feeling resourceful enough to find ways to accomplish their objectives, reassuring themselves when in a tight spot that things will get better, being flexible enough to find different ways to get to their goals or to switch goals if one becomes impossible, and having the sense to break down a formidable task into smaller, manageable pieces. From the perspective of emotional intelligence, having hope means that one will not give in to overwhelming anxiety, a defeatist attitude, or depres- sion in the face of difficult challenges or setbacks. Indeed, people who are hopeful evidence less depression than others as they maneuver through life in pursuit of their goals, are less anxious in general, and have fewer emo- tional distresses.For A Better Understanding... OPTIMISM: THE GREAT MOTINATOR ‘Americans who follow swimming had high hopes for Matt Biondi, a member ofthe U.S. Olympic Team in 1988. Some sportswriters were touting Biondi as likely to match Mark Spitz's 1972 feat of taking seven gold medals. But Biondi finished a heartbreaking third in his frst event, the 200-meter freestyle. In his ext event, the 100-meter butterfly, Biondi was inched out for the gold by another swimmer who made a greater effort in the last meter. Sponscasters speculated that the defeats would dispirit Biondi in his suc- ‘cessive events, But Biondi rebounded from defeat and took a gold medal in his next five events. One viewer who was not surprised by Biondi's come. back was Martin Seligman, a psychologist tthe University of Pennsylvania, ‘who had tested Biondi for optimism earlier that year. In an experiment done ‘ith Seligman, the swimming coach told Biondi during a special event mean to showcase Biondi's best performance that he had a worse time than was actually the case. Despite the downbeat feedback, when Biondi was asked to restand try again, his performance —actually already very good—was even, better, But when other team members who were given a false bad time—and ‘whose test scores showed they were pessimistic—tried again, they did even ‘worse the second time.2! Optimism, like hope, means having a strong expectation that, in general, things will turn out allright in life, despite setbacks and frustrations. From the standpoint of emotional intelligence, optimism is an attitude that buffers people against falling into apathy, hopelessness, or depression in the face of tough going, And, as with hope, its near cousin, optimism pays dividends in life (providing, of course, itis a realistic optimism; a too-naive optimism can be disastrous) 2? Seligman defines optimism in terms of how people explain to themselves their successes and failures. People who are optimistic see a failure as due to something that can be changed so that they can succeed next time around, while pessimists take the blame for failure, ascribing it to some lasting characteristic they are helpless to change. These differing explanations have Profound implications for how people respond to life. For example, in reaction to a disappointment such as being turned down for a job, optimists tend to respond actively and hopefully, by formulating a plan of action, say, orseeking out help and advice; they see the setback as something that can be remedied. Pessimists, by contrast, react to such setbacks by assuming there is ‘othing they can do to make things go beter the next time, and so do nothing about the problem; they see the setback as due to some personal deficit that will always plague them. As with hope, optimism predicts academic success. In a study of five hhundred members of the incoming freshman class of 1984 a the University of Pennsylvania, the students’ scores on a test of optimism were a better predic- tor of their actual grades freshman year than were their SAT scores or their high-school grades. Said Seligman, who studied them, “College entrance 4 ¢ 6 4 @ 4 e e 6 6 e e L « ¢ « e 6 6 Ls e © & & 6 L C = © « e « = - o o CoFor A Better Understanding. ‘exams measure talent, while explanatory style tells you who gives up. Itis the ‘combination of reasonable talent and the ability to keep going in the face of defeat that leads to success. What's missing in tests of ability is motivation. ‘What you need to know about someone is whether they will keep going when things get frustrating. My hunch is that fora given level of intelligence, your actual achievement is a function not just of talent, but also of the capacity to stand defeat.”23 One of the most telling demonstrations of the power of optimism to motivate people is a study Seligman did of insurance salesmen with the ‘MetLife company. Being able totake a rejection with grace is essential in sales of all kinds, especially with a product like insurance, where the ratio of noes to yeses can be so discouragingly high. For this reason, about three quarters of insurance salesmen quit in their first three years, Seligman found that new salesmen who were by nature optimists sold 37 percent more insurance in their first two years on the job than did pessimists. And during the first year the pessimists quit at twice the rate of the optimists ‘What's more, Seligman persuaded MetLife to hire a special group of appli- ‘ants who scored high on a test for optimism but failed the normal screening tests (which compared a range of their attitudes to a standard profile based fon answers from agents who have been successful). This special group ‘outsold the pessimists by 21 percent in their first year, and 57 percent in the second, Just why optimism makes such a difference in sales success speaks to the ‘sense in Which itis an emotionally intelligent atitude, Each no a salesperson ‘gets is a small defeat. The emotional reaction to that defeat is crucial to the ability to marshal enough motivation to continue. As the noes mount up, morale can deteriorate, making it harder and harder to pick up the phone for the next call. Such rejection is especially hard to take for a pessimist, who interprets it as meaning, “I'm a failure at this; I'l never make a sale”—an interpretation that is sure to trigger apathy and defeatism, if not depression, Optimists, on the other hand, tell themselves, “I'm using the wrong ap- proach,” or “That last person was just in a bad mood.” By seeing not themselves but something in the situation as the reason for their failure, they ‘can change their approach in the next call. While the pessimist's mental set leads to despair, the optimist’s spawns hope. ‘One source of a positive or negative outlook may well be inborn tempera- ‘ment; some people by nature tend one way or the other. But as we shall also ‘ee in Chapter 14, temperament can be tempered by experience. Optimism and hope—like helplessness and despair—can be learned. Underlying both is an outlook psychologists call seiefficacy, the belief that one has mastery over the events of one's life and can meet challenges as they come up. Developing a competency of any kind strengthens the sense of self-efficacy, ‘making a person more willing to take risks and seek out more demandingchallenges. And surmounting those challenges in turn increases the sense of self-efficacy. This attitude makes people more likely to make the best use of ‘whatever skills they may have—or to do what it takes to develop them. ‘Albert Bandura, 2 Stanford psychologist who has done much of the re- search on self-efficacy, sums it up well: “People's beliefs about their abilities have a profound effect on those abilities. Ability is nota fixed property; there is a huge variability in how you perform. People who have a sense of self- efficacy bounce back from failures; they approach things in terms of how to handle them rather than worrying about what can go wrong."24 Reprinted From: Emotional intelligence ‘by Daniel GoldmanFor A Better Understanding. f£ AE, ¢ Wanna Be CY) as Try to skip in stead of shuffle, sub a smile for that sullen stare. When you prac- tice feeling up, you can beat the blues. By Bobbe Sommer ow po you ACQUIRE the habit of happiness! The key is not to play to make your move toward happi- the when-isrlife-going- —_yeass now. You can make happ- lorget-better_ game. fess a habit just the way you Some people fall prey mae"other types of benavice to "magical thinking habit—through repeated practice, They tell themselves that life will pti jc Becomes a subconscious be beter just as soon a5 Whey pass get "You'can expect optimism to the next milestone—get that pro- be your usual state of mind (a motion, turn twenty-five. find true owing Tor gstasional sebucks) it love. If this is your approach to ou diligently follow these garde happiness, its almost certain that pes. you'll be disappointed. Happiness doesn't operate on a scheaule It you're waiting for the right time 1. When negative thoughts and Ie'be Nappy chances are you'll feelings ereep up on you, cancel to be happ: them. Accept that thete aie some Tostend, simply recognize that situations you can't control right you can cootaeely chase wo be now. Try la react to whalover hep Happy. Don't put happiness on eas as rationally and calmly. as hold There is only one right time Possible.2. Give happiness your best shot. someone makes a contribution to ‘Always be open to the smallest op- your happiness. Remember the old portunity for it. Focus on the feel- saying “Happiness is contagious’ ing you get from watching a sun- 1s truel set, completing a long-term pro- jeck having a favorite old movie St, Think of person who has en Pop up on late-night cable, getting _-—‘riched your life, added to your special present when it isn't your «sense of self-worth. Take some birthday. You know the moments _timte to focus on this person, and that work for you. Try to keep the acknowledge his or her contribu- feeling they give you in your con- _tion to your happiness. sciousness as mich as you can, 2 G. Practice being less critical of 3. Practice being happy. This is an other people's faults. Put the best act-as-if exercise. Tell yourself and possible interpretation on their ac- others that you are generally a tions and you'll avoid a lot of the happy person Rehearse your smile negative thinking that gets in the often, Practice giving thanks daily, way of happiness. hourly, for the dozens of small +happinesses that come your way— 7. Strive for a 1-percent:100-per- waking up this morning, for in- cent ratio. Instead of trying to be ‘stance. 100 percent happier, make yourself I percent happier in a hundred 4..Go out of your way to make different ways. someone else happy. If you see a child struggling with packages, of 8, Fake it til you make it. Actas fer to help. If you see a man star- though your sellsimage is exacly ing at a map and looking con- the way you want it to be, a fused, ask him if he needs direc- though you've already achieved tions. Openly acknowledge it when the sucoes you deserve. Many people are chronically unhappy because their expectations are unrealistic. An optimist recognizes that happiness is relative. Don't delude yourself that you can ward off unhappiness in all situations all the time. There's no such thing as permanent, uninterrupted happiness. "Who ever said life was fair?" your old tapes may tell you. The point to recognize is that life isn't unfair either. Life is fragile. The important thing is to lear to accept setbacks without thinking of them as permanent conditions, without convincing yourself you'll be destroyed without blaming ‘yourself or resenting others for what's happened to you. When you learn to do that, you'll have caught the happiness habit. Reprinted From: Cosmopolitan, October, 1993HOW TO TELL IF YOU HAVE A TRULY EXCEPTIONAL VISION For A Better | Understanding... ‘At Disney Studios in Burbank, California, Mike Vance could gaze out of the office windows, across Buena Vista Street, to St. Joseph's Hospital where Walt Disney died. The ‘morning he died, Mike was talking on the telephone when he saw the flag being lowered over at the hospital around 8:20 a.m. His death was preceded by an amazing incident that reportedly took place the night before in Walt's hotel room. ‘A journalist, knowing Walt was seriously ill, persisted in getting an interview with Wal and was furstrated on numerous occasions by the hospital staff. When he finally managed to into the room, Walt couldn't sit up in bed or talk above a whisper. Walt instructed the reports ‘0 tie down on the bed, next to him, so he could whisper in the reporter's ear. For the next 30 iinutes, Walt and the journalist lay side by side as Walt referred to an imaginary map of Walt Disney World on the ceiling above the bed. Walt pointed out where he planned to place various attractions and buildings. He walked about transportation, hotels, restaurants and many other parts of his vision fora property that ‘wouldn't open to the public for another six years. We told this reporter's moving experience, relayed through a nurse, to each one of our organizational development groups..the story of how a man who lay dying ina hospital whi pered in the reporters ear for 30 minutes describing his vision forthe furre and the role he would play in it for generations to come. This is the way to live - believing so much in your vision that even when you're dying, ‘you whisper it into another person's ear.