167. PSYCHO-CYBERNETICS STUDY GUIDE LESSON FOUR THE SUCCESS MECHANISM Overview One of the most important truths of Psycho-Cybernetics is that we experience the world primarily not as it is—but as we imagine it to be. The kinds of thoughts, the kinds of mental pictures and voices we have determine how we feel and what we do. Stated simply: 1, What you think about you begin to feel. 2. How you feel determines what you do. 3. And what you do gives you what you have. So it is easy to see that mastering the success mechanism means taking control of what we think. We want to program our servo-mecha- nism, our mental computer, with positive, successful images, memories of past successes, vivid images of future goals. ‘We also want to program the servo-mechanism with the positive, confident, happy FEELINGS these images cause. This deepens the programming. ‘And we want to reinforce these positive images and feelings with positive ACTION, specifically the action of setting and achieving goals. The three steps for setting and achieving goals: 1. Positive images of past successes. 2. Positive feelings of confidence and happiness. 3. The action of setting and achieving goals. These are what turn your servo-mechanism into a success mechanism, one that will eventually function automatically, spontaneously producing a life of success, power and satisfaction.168. PSYCHO-CYBERNETICS STUDY GUIDE In this lesson you will: 1. Progress in reprogramming your servo-mechanism and creating a self-image that expresses the real, best you. 2. Learn to develop understanding and compassion for ‘yourself and others—not through pretense or will- power, but through the power of your creative imagina- tion. 3. Begin to set longer-range goals to organize your future in accordance with your new self-image. 4, Learn one of the most important tools of success to eliminate the uncomfortable feelings of mistakes and failures, and how to use your mistakes and failures as valuable information—steppingstones to your success. ‘As you go through the lessons this week, remember to continue these exercises from the previous lessons: ‘Remember to do the Relaxation Exercise before each evening Psycho- Cybemetics session. ‘Remember to continue the STEP IN—STEP OUT Exercise for a few minutes each day. You can switch this exercise to the morning just after you wake up if you wish. ‘This week, make some of your pleasant memories ones in which you took successful action. STEP IN to them; enjoy them again. “Then view some unpleasant memories in which you failed to act. STEP OUT of these memories and view them from the distant audience of your mental theater. ‘This STEP IN—STEP OUT exercise is powerfully reprogramming your mental computer. It will build in you the habits of success, satisfac- tion, and happiness—if you practice faithfully. Remember to set and achieve one goal each day, no matter how small itis, Be successful each day. Use the Daily Goal Sheet in this Study Guide. ‘Remember to do one thing to make yourself happy each day. Happi- ness builds happiness.169. MENTAL TRAINING EXERCISE #29 The Value of Mistakes YOU ARE NOT A MISTAKE—YOU MAKE. MISTAKES. YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE—YOU HAVE FAILURES. MISTAKES AND FAILURES WILL TEACH YOU SUCCESS—IF YOU LET THEM. Remember that we are goal-seeking, cybernetic beings. To reach ‘our goals we must get feedback. We must make mistakes so we can learn what we shouldn’t do. This automatically tells us what we should do to achieve our goals. Learn to appreciate mistakes as valuable information—stepping- stones to your goals. Do the exercise on the following page and then record the results on the MISTAKE LEARNING WORKSHEET. 1. Write down the mistakes you make. 2. Then write what each mistake taught you. 3. How you can use this information to move closer to your goal? This is one of the most important tools you can have for living a crea- tive, successful, enjoyable life. s page for future use.)170. PSYCHO-CYBERNETICS STUDY GUIDE SE STUDYOUIDE “MISTAKE” LEARNING WORKSHEET WRITE WHAT YOU LEARNED FROM YOUR “FAILURES”: Describe the “mistake” or “failure” situation in one sentence, 1 How can I use this knowledge? —_ 2. Situation: Learned: How can I use this knowledge? a er How can I use this knowledge? — (You may photocopy this page for future use.) OGASO2O)e02020062000662006404000024282027:ac<........a7. UNDERSTANDING AND COMPASSION Do you have memories of conflicts with others that still upset you? Perhaps with your spouse or children, your boss or best friend? ‘You can also use the MISTAKE BREAKER EXERCISE to gain under- standing and compassion for yourself and others. Do this exercise to see the situation from a different (more distant and objective) point of view. In your mental theater: 1, From the audience, watch yourself in the negative experi- ence, the argument, disagreement, whatever it was. Make the scene far enough away so you feel no emotion—no anger, fear, etc., o you can be totally detached and objec- tive. View the entire event and watch carefully. Watch yourself, Watch the other person or persons involved. Watch your emotional response and that of the other person from a distance. If you start to get upset—make the screen smaller and more distant or tum down the volume of the voices until the feeling goes away. * ‘What new understanding do you gain from seeing the experience this way? How can you use that understanding now or in the future? (Use the following Understanding and Compassion Worksheet to record your observations.) + Sometimes it is helpful to STEP IN to the movie. Be in the scene {from the other person’s point of view. Watch yourself and hear yourself from the other person’s point of view. This can often give you an entirely new perspective of the situation, (You may photocopy this page for future use.)172. PSYCHO-CYBERNETICS STUDY GUIDE UNDERSTANDING AND COMPASSION WORKSHEET 1. Describe the experience in one sentence. 2. After reviewing the experience from the audience of your mental theater: A. What I learned about myself: B. What I learned about the other(s): 3. How I can use this information now and in the future? (You may photocopy this page for future use.) —.. KK $$ nen mitrcrr this page for future use)173. MENTAL TRAINING EXERCISE #31 TRUE SUCCESS ‘The hardest part of understanding success is the word itself. All too often people confuse success with the symbols of prestige. Someone driving a brand new BMW is not necessarily successful. Perhaps he or she just has a lot of money. Sure; it's nice to have fine things, but rue success has nothing to do with money or prestige. In Psycho-Cybemetics wwe talk about the successful personality. There’s nothing material about a successful personality. The only visible signs of success are the smile, the open quality of self-acceptance that a person shows. Success does not live in an expensive house or a big car. You will leam that success lives in you. You are success. ‘When you program your servo-mechanism with images and feelings of success, and set and achieve daily goals—the action of success—you gradually build a self-image that quite naturally and spontaneously pro- duces a life of success for you. ‘What does success mean to me? (You may photocopy this page for future use.)174, MENTAL TRAINING EXERCISE #32 This is an excellent exercise for ridding yourself of unwanted habits and reprogramming your brain to do new, positive behavior automatically. In this exercise, you actually switch mental images so that the image or situation that “triggered” the unwanted action will trigger new, desired behavior automatically. ‘The Image Switch Exercise is very powerful and useful. You can use it to change attitudes and feelings as well as habits. Take the time to Jearn it thoroughly. 1. Look at yourself, What kind of person would you be? Make a very attractive, positive picture of yourself. Make it colorful. Itis a picture of a wonderful future you, a person free of that unwanted habit. Someone you really want to be, Set that picture aside for a moment. Gs s, THE IMAGE SWITCH EXERCISE Make a still picture of yourself just before you do the thing you want to stop doing. Be in the picture, (For example, if you want to stop biting your fingernails, see your hand coming up to your mouth.) Make it as detailed as you can. Close your eyes and on your movie screen create a beautiful vibrant color picture of yourself the way you would be if you didn’t have the habit. Be out of this picture. Put your bad habit picture on your screen, Make it further away and smaller until it just disappears on the horizon. Substitute your tiny, distant, positive picture on the hori- zon. Make it closer and larger. Notice how attractive that wonderful, future you is—your real, best you. Feel yourself drawn to the picture. Open your eyes. (You may photocopy this page for future use.) PRRPETLKETLLLEKELETELTLLELLARARARRRATEEEREEE6. Repeat Steps 3 and 4 ten times, each time switching the pictures faster and faster. By the tenth time you will be able to switch the negative picture to the positive one in about one second. Remember to open your eyes after each time you do Steps 3 and 4. ‘You can use this exercise to create new habits also. In this case, in Step 1, create a picture of yourself not doing what you want to do. In Step 2, create a very attractive picture of yourself as the kind of person you would be if you had the habit you want. Then do Steps 3 and 4 as before. Do this exercise ten times each day this week using the same pictures. (it will only take a couple of minutes to do—remember, the faster you switch the pictures the more effective it will be.)PSYCHO-CYBERNETICS STUDY GUIDE TEN PRINCIPLES OF SUCCESS Be true to yourself. Don’t play games of pretense. Accept your weaknesses as well as your strengths. Refuse to let frustration overpower you. Have compassion for yourself. Have compassion for others. Every day, use your confidence from past successes in your current endeavors. Your success mechanism must have a useful goal. Think only in terms of goals. Reach for goals despite mistakes. Concentrate on success. Trust your creative servo-mechanism to do the work subconsciously. Don’t jam it by trying to use willpower. SaSSSSSASSSSFSSLSTSSSTFSLSRVFRVTVIARABARASRSAVVAVeVeee177. E #3. OALS IV In this lesson you will continue to plan and achieve a daily goal. This builds the habit of focus and success. Remember to stay flexible. If one plan doesn’t work, simply develop another and continue toward your goal. In addition, you will begin to concentrate on longer-range goals—the goals that will shape your desired future and begin to direct you to it. Think about the long-range goals you would like to achieve in the future. You can use the list of sample goals to stimulate your thinking. List your goals on the sheet provided. . Check to see that your proposed goals are realistic and right for you. Ask the GOALTEST questions from Lesson Three. * Above all, have fun with this exercise. Keep it light, let yourself fantasize. This lesson is designed to stretch your imaginative muscles concerning your future. It is just practice. Later lessons will focus your imagination more sharply. So have fun! * Lesson Three Goaltest Questions: Is this goal possible? Is this goal what you really want? Is this goal worthy? Are you willing to do what is necessary to reach this goal? Rene (You may photocopy this page for future use.)178. PSYCHO-CYBERNETICS STUDY GUIDE Some Sample Goals FINANCIAL, Get a raise by the end of the year Buy a house next year Become financially independent in five years Double your earnings Get a motorcycle Buy a sailboat Pay for college CAREER Get a promotion Start your own business Become president of your company Get involved in a career you really want Open a restaurant HEALTH ‘Work out three times a week Join a health club Lose 10 pounds Eat a healthful diet FAMILY/SOCIAL ‘Take one weekend every two months to get away with your spouse Find a good mate Make one new friend each month ‘Spend one more hour of “quality” time with the kids Get married PERSONAL GROWTH Take a speed-reading course Volunteer for charity work Learn another language Teach someone to read £228 V28DD2DV2D2VD2227Z2222 2222222222882.179. PSYCHO-CYBERNETICS STUDY GUIDE SPIRITUAL Develop a personal relationship with God, the Universal Mind, the Creator, the universe Learn to meditate Forgive yourself Forgive those who have wronged you Read a spiritual book Attend a service that attracts you MENTAL/EMOTIONAL Control temper Learn to systematically relax Become motivated Stop procrastinating Be more honest and open in relationships Become more creative Get a big, happy dog Climb a mountain Write a story Paint a sunset ‘Take a photography class Sleep late ‘Surprise your best friend Buy yourself a bunch of fresh flowers Give your spouse a massage Try anew restaurant Sleep in Sleep outPSYCHO-CYBERNETICS STUDY GUIDE GOAL LIST SHEET Short-Term ONE:MONTH GOAL TIME? (1 month, 2 months?) HealtW/Physical Mental/Emotional Family/Social ‘Work/Financial Spiritual Other Resources (already have) Resources (needed) (You may photocopy this page for future use.)181. PSYCHO-CYBERNETICS STUDY GUIDE GOAL LIST SHEET GOAL TIME? (1 year, 2 years?) Health/Physical Mental/Emotional Family/Social Work/Financial Spiritual (Yon may photocopy this page for future use.) —_—_——— eee rae for four se.)182. MENTAL TRAINING EXERCISE #34 MIRROR EXERCISE SUCCESS Here is your first self-image builder for achieving success: Write the word SUCCESS on the mirror. Leave it there as a reminder for yourself that you came into this world to succeed, not to fail. When you see this word, try to remember What the letters individually stand for. They will remind you of the com- ponents of success. : Sense of direction. A goal. : Understanding. You understand your needs and the needs of others. : Courage. Take calculated risks in life; get your feet wet. Be willing to take chances. : Compassion. Be compassionate to yourself, to others. : Esteem. Respect yourself. Respect others. What you give to others, you never lose. : Self-confidence. Making a habit of confidence brings instant confidence. : Self-acceptance. Accept yourself for what you are. Don’t try to be someone else. (You may photocopy this page for future use.) gaag_tcaetcercaenceaeneea|eane eee ec eee aeaeaeaeaeaeaspeeaeaaseezeagaaeqce@183. MENTAL TRAINING EXERCISE #35 MIRROR EXERCISE TWO ° WATCH YOUR WATCH Besides mirrors, other things can help you to build a better self- image during the day. Every day for six days, at home or away, look at your watch. And watch it tick away a minute or two. Then say to yourself: “There are 24 hours or 1440 minutes in a day. When I have a goal for that day, every minute is a minute of adventure and I see the confident self-image of myself and that alone.” Say to yourself: “This watch represents the heartbeat of my true self- image, and I shall never let it tick with fear. For me, every minute is a minute of opportunity.” (You may photocopy this page for future use.)184. PSYCHO-CYBERNETICS STUDY GUIDE LESSON FOUR REVIEW QUESTIONS 1. How do I know I have a success personality? 2. How do I acquire such a personality if I don’t have one? 3. What words do the letters of “success” suggest individually? s U c c E s Ss — 4. Whatis the danger of achieving an all-important goal? 5. What's necessary once an important goal is reached?185. PSYCHO-CYBERNETICS STUDY GUIDE 6. Why do I feel lost, aimless, purposeless? 7. Why must I have goals? 8. What are the ingredients for a sense of direction? 9. Why isn’t the other person necessarily wrong when he reaches an opposite point of view from the same facts? 10. What causes most of my failures in relationships?com 186. PSYCHO-CYBERNETICS STUDY GUIDE In trying to reconcile clashes of opinion, what questions should I ask myself? How do my opinions distort the facts? ‘What is necessary for me to see the truth? 14. When I have made a mistake in understanding, what then? 15. If Thavea sense of direction, goals, and understanding, but nothing happens, what’s wrong?187. PSYCHO-CYBERNETICS STUDY GUIDE ——_————— aman 16. Will my problems just go away if [ignore them? 17. DoIneed a great crisis to demonstrate courage? 18. How do successful people relate to others? 19. What happens when I feel more compassionate toward others? 20. What does it do to my own self-image when I grant others their rights? 21. What is my deadliest pitfall and trap?2, 188. PSYCHO-CYBERNETICS STUDY GUIDE ‘Why is this so hard to overcome? Js “humility,” in the sense of holding a low opinion of myself, a virtue or a vice? How do I improve my self-esteem? ‘Why does misery come from being too hard on myself? 26. How do I become myself? 21. ‘What is confidence built on?INETICS STUDY GUIDE —_— Oo ee ee OEE... 28. What increases self-confidence when I tackle a new task? 29. Do these have to be major successes? 30. What technique is to be used in connection with these successes?Lesson 7Phill Psycho-Cybernetics Defeating The Failure Mechanism So far, in the time you've been working with the Psycho-Cybernetics system, you've learned a great deal about your Servo-Mechanism and how it works. The Servo-Mechanism is a goal seeking mechanism that responds to a combination of past and present programming. Itis repro- ‘grammed by the mental images and feclings we give it. When we provide it with positive, productive images and feelings, it will follow that direction, It will automatically produce success and happiness. But when wwe provide it with negative, unproductive images and feelings, it will produce failure and unhappiness. The Servo-Mechanism has no prefer- ence of its own. It only does what itis directed to do. Nothing more, nothing less, nothing different. In a sense, the Servo-Mechanism has two sides. A Success Mechanism and a Failure Mechanism. Obviously, what ‘you want to do is send the Failure Mechanism into hibernation and keep it asleep and inactive. And you want to keep the Success Mechanism awake and working for you all the time. However, there are some obstacles in the way of this simple goal. The first is accumulated past programming of a negative nature. Another is present programming of a negative nature. Maybe from people around us, from the media, from a disappointing experience. And a third obstacle is the perverse tendency ‘we sometimes have to be our own worst enemy. To excessively punish ourselves. These wake up and stimulate the Failure Mechanism. Dr Maltz: How does a person banish jealousy of another individual's ability? All of us at some time or other are victims of jealousy or resentment of the other fellow’s capabilities. ealousy is a very destructive negative feeling that forces one to make his image to shrink to the size of a microbe. It is of no value unless you have a goal of your own within your own capabilities. When you are stirred on to make something of yourself. In that respect, that kind of jealousy is a form of inspiration. Simply because ‘you have a goal in view. Itis a variation of competition and is not jealousy in the true sense. Jealousy per say, is destructive because you have no goal and you become resentful of another person, hating that person for no reason whatsoever. You overcome jealousy, you overcome defensiveness only by thinking of some goal you cam achieve. In that way, you translate ‘a negative thought into a positive goal. Jealousy without a goal in view means many harmful things. It means frustration and fear. Too many of 190.Phil: us hate and are jealous because we fear that we will be inadequate. But no ‘one can make you feel that way unless you want to be that way. Jealousy also means loneliness. If you will remember that no one can make you lonely without your consent, you will also remember that no one, no one can make you jealous without your consent. (NOTE: READ THE ‘SPORTS ILLUSTRATED’ ARTICLE AT THE END OF THIS TRANSCRIPT AND SEE HOW DALLAS COWBOYS’ SUPERSTAR RUNNING BACK EMMITT SMITH HAS USED WALTER PAYTON'S RECORDS AS INSPIRATION WITHOUT HAVING ANY JEALOUSY OF PAYTON.) Resentment is one of the warning symptoms of the Failure Mechanism. (On this tape, we'll discover how to detect the Failure Mechanism rearing its ugly head, and how to stop it dead in its tracks. Resentmentis conquered bby our own positive goals and by inspiration drawn by observing others’ accomplishments, Dr. Maltz: I have a terrible feeling of being alone. Why? What can I do to ‘overcome this? There are three kinds of loneliness. Loneliness in relation to the outside world, Loneliness in elation to another person. And finally, loneliness in relation to yourself, by far, the worse kind of loneliness. It ‘means an image you're ashamed of. An image you can't live with. Negative feelings produce an unhappy self image which causes you to ‘move away from the world, from others, from yourself creating limitation and communication with yourself and the outside world where you belong. Loneliness means eviction. You cast yourself away from yourself, and this often brings about a kind of stubbornness and refusing to return to yourself. Dr. Maltz: Most of us know men and women on the way up in the business world to whom a day or even a few hours alone is almost intolerable. I know a ‘man whois like that. Let's call him Joe. Joe was a fantastic salesman. The jolly good fellow type. He could sell anything to anybody, but there was only one problem. He never bothered to make his most important sale. He never sold himself to himself. His eye was always on business. He used to brag that he'd rather work than play. Even when he went to play golf, there was no enjoyment in it. He was just after business deals with his partners. He never found relief ot relaxation. He dreaded being alone. Even if it meant going out of his way to buy people supper or drinks and regaling them with his endless repertoire of antidotes. Good ‘ol Joe, igi. £23882 OO 2S SE 8 SS ESS SS OO 34 242342 AdD.AAAAMAAAAALADterrific guy. great story teller. Well, Joe died of a heart attack in his 40's. NOTES ‘And I doubt that he ever enjoyed one good forthright talk with himself — during his whole lifetime. Joe couldn’t stand being alone. He sold himself short, Persons like Joe do not want to be alone because they do not actually like themselves. They kid themselves into thinking that they are avoiding bad company by avoiding themselves, They regard and treat themselves as though they were the biggest, most stupid, uneducated boys going. Great guys to others, bad company for themselves. The Joes of the world are always trying to flee from themselves, and of course, never making it. Isit possible that there's. litle Joe in you? Do you hesitate to spend a few ‘moments in your own good company? Does a prospect of an evening of solitary peace and quiet cause you to direct your steps instead to the television set? Do you prefer the sight and sound of a western, variety show or the latest series to the good company you can keep with yourself? HAVE YOU HEARD IT SAID ABOUT SOMEONE: “HE'S COMFORTABLE IN HIS OWN SKIN"? THIS IS A WAY OF DESCRIBING SOMEONE WHO IS OBVIOUSLY AT PEACE WITH HIMSELF; COMPETITIVE PROBABLY, BUT NOT FEELING PRESSURE TO PROVE HIMSELF TO ANYONE EITHER. Dr. Maltz: Loneliness can come from grief when you refuse to let goof it. If this happens, it is no longer a catastrophe of yesterday, but the agony of a lifetime. You must return to the present. You must refuse to separate yourself from yourself, from others, from reality. The business of living isto be partof humanity atall times, come what may. To return to yourself, rising above failure and grief. Communicating with yourself at all times, Rebuilding a new self image you can live with. An image you can be proud of because you can see it grow as tall as you want ito be. You see it grow ‘now, today, as you reach for goals you can achieve. Remembering that no ‘one can make you lonely without your consent, Pat: Loneliness is another warning signal of the Failure Mechanism. We create our own loneliness with a sagging self image that motivates us to move away from others. So we can cure our own loneliness by doing the opposite Dr. Maltz: A proper self image implies that each day you adjust to the changing conditions i your world, external and internal. I conducted a seminar in San Diego, California and more than 200 students were in the class. One student asked me how long it took for a person to change his self imagetold him it took five minutes or a whole lifetime. What I meant was that we live with change. Life changes, and your self image changes. Each day, life is different, and you are different, and you must adjust to these changes. Each day, new problems, internal and external, and you must, make the necessary adjustments to deal with these changes and move toward your goals. If you don'tadjust, you disable yourself physically and ‘mentally. You surrender your creative life forces. Therefore, you must adjust a change. You really have no choice. AAs Plato said, “The first and best victory is to conquer self. To be conquered by self, is ofall things, the ‘most shameful and vial.” Dr. Maltz; Your Failure Mechanism manufactures frustrated negative feelings. Itpulls you off course. Sidetracks your positive inclinations. Shrinks your self image. Blocks your attempts to reach your legitimate goals to fulfill yourself. To reach a goal in the present reach back to past successes. Re- awaken your confidence to succeed in the present. What happens if you review past failures? You distort your self image. You dislike and distrust yourself. You fal to guide yourself properly. In short, you defeat yourself. ‘What is the solution to this problem? Focus on your successes, Visualize your good moments, no matter how few. Make your Success Mechanism, work overtime. Upgrade yourself. Stop downgrading yourself. The choice is yours. Your mental images can project a world of darkness and gloom and failure. Or a world of lightand sunshine. Clear skies and prospects that go brighter each day. Project yourself into the second world. The world of happiness and success. With the tools of this Psycho-Cybernetics course, you can knock your Failure Mechanism down and out. Almost as fast as it raises its head. ‘There are tell-tale signs, tell-tale moods, and telltale thoughts that alert us that our Failure Mechanism is going to work. As soon as we see these warnings, we need to take specific action to get on a positive productive course. Listen carefully to this tape to learn how to recognize these warming symptoms. How to stop the Failure Mechanism in its tracks. And how to continually make adjustments that move you forward in a positive direction. Now, here is Dr. Maltz. Dr. Maltz: As a plastic surgeon, I have operated on thousands of people whose faces were injured as a result of accidents at home, or on the highway, and in industry. Often, the faces would become inflamed and infected, and the NOTES "Keep changing. When you're through changing, you're through." -Bruce BartonPhil: patients would run a temperature. But with proper treatment through penicillin and other wonder drugs, the swelling would subside, the temperature would return to normal. ‘Then we'd operate and remove the scars. There is a distinct similarity here with the waking of the Failure Mechanism. If you let the Failure Mechanism control you, you will be subject to an inflammation of yourself image. [call this selfimagitis. The temperature of your mind will goup, and deeper scars will be inflicted. But you can be your own doctor. You can cure yourself for failure and restore yourself image. You can bring down the temperature and control the inflammation through the penicillin of the Success Mechanism. And you can prescribe a wonder drug for yourself, relaxation. All you need to do is to take corrective measures and proceed towards your destination. But first, you must learn to recognize the symptoms and dangers ofthe Failure Mechanism. You must leam its components in order to property diagnose its pathology. You'll be taking your own temperature readings. Then, ‘when you recognize the symptoms, you will cure your inflammation. Not through willpower, but through understanding To make it easier for you to remember the symptoms of the Failure Mechanism, Dr. Maltz has associated the symptoms with the letters that make up the word failure F_ Fearand frustration A: Anger and aggressiveness Insecurity L: Loneliness U: Uncertainty R: Resentment E Emptiness No one chooses to develop these traits. These symptoms don't come to us by chance, nor are they an indication of the imperfection of human nature. Each of these Failure Mechanism symptoms were first adopted by us as children, as a means of solving a problem. They served a purpose, despite the fact that they are based on a mistaken premise. They are no longer appropriate. These symptoms of the Failure Mechanism have outlasted their usefulness, but they have become mental habits. Like other bad habits, we usually cannot change these symptoms by willpower, but we ‘can cure them by understanding and imagination. Each time you catch Notes 194.‘yourself exhibiting a symptom, you should realize that you're functioning in an old, non-productive pattern, And you should do whatever Psycho- Cybernetics exercise which is appropriate to overcome the negative reaction and replace it with a positive one. Now to better understand the failure mechanism, let's review each symptom individually An emotional response can be appropriate and useful at one ti ime in life but wholly inappropriate and destructive at another time in life. A baby learns quickly that his best method for getting attention and a need fulfilled is to cry as loudly as he possibly can. For adults, however, this is obviously not a very ‘appropriate or effective method - although that fact doesn’t preclude some adults from relying on it anyway! We must learn Pat to shed out-dated methods like a snake sheds its skin. First, frustration, Feelings of frustration and discontent are ways of solving problems that we learned as infants. When a baby is hungry, he ‘expresses discontent by crying, and then a warm and tender hand appears ‘outof nowhere, bringing milk and bringing comfort. It's like magic. When the child is uncomfortable, he or she cries again. Again, the same magic. A hand appears and offers comfort. Many children continue to have their problems solved by overindulgent parents whenever the children express frustration and discomfort. This process works very well for infants, and all of us have programmed it into our Servo- Mechanism to some extent. Attimes, we may try solving our adult problems by expressing frustration, discontent and discomfort, hoping that the magic hand will come out of nowhere once again. Dr Maltz: You must take your own temperature to diagnose your degree of Phil: frustration and fear. If you ever over respond to a frustrating experience with futility, that is failure, You must learn to see yourself in proper perspective, and you must correct the self image of an unworthy, inferior person who has no rightto succeed, Keep in mind that you have every right in the world to succeed and be happy. Your built-in Success Mechanism that you leamed about in the preceding lesson, is waiting at your beck and call to help when a crisis arises. Take advantage of it. Frustration can paralyze a person. Or it can stimulate his creative imagination, in a positive search for productive actions that can be taken. When you say “there's nothing | can do about that”, you are almost always wrong, and you are succumbing to your Failure Mechanism. ‘The second symptom of the Failure Mechanism is the “A” in failure, NOTES 195.which stands for anger and aggressiveness. Now there's nothing wrong with being aggressive, as long as you continue to respect the rights of others. Indeed, aggressiveness and emotional drive are necessary’to reach cour goals. I's properto go after what we want in an aggressive way, rather than in a hesitating or tentative manner. Bu rouble often comes when we are blocked and frustrated in some way. Then the useful steam of aggressiveness can tum into anger. And anger all to often becomes self destructive behavior. Like being angry at your boss and taking it out on your family. Or being angry in trafic and driving dangerously and recklessly. This self-destructive anger ean lead to uleers, high blood pressure, worry, excessive smoking or drinking, or compulsive overwork Crelse the anger may be turned on other people in the form of irstability hostility, rudeness, gossip, nagging and fault finding Di Maltz: The next time you feel like losing your temper, stop and ask yourself Phil: is this my frustration at work? When you recognize that your response is inappropriate, you have taken the first step toward controlling it. When you are blocked in reaching an important goal, you are like a locomotive with a full head of steam, but nowhere to go. You need a safety valve for your excess emotional steam, Find an outlet. It may be physical. In the form of games in which you need vigorous physical activity, particularly those in which you have to hit something, such asa golf ball, a tennis ball, oor punching the bag. But the best channel is to use it up as it was intended to be used, in working towards a goal. Work remains one of the best therapies and most effective tranquilizers for a troubled spirit. You cannot solve one problem by creating another. Misdirected aggression is an attempt to hit one target by lashing out at any target. It just doesn’t work, Fortunately there are some effective ways of controlling your temper. Dr. Malt offers these five anger management ideas. 1) Losing your temper never does anyone any good. 2) By losing your temper, you suffer morally and physically 3) Itis utter nonsense to say that losing your temper is merely blowing off steam, and that blowing off steam every once in awhile is good for you. Losing your temper is not blowing off steam, itis blowing up steam, Creating a tremendous burden of pressure, increase heart beat, increase blood pressure, taking its inevitable toll, NOTES 196.4) Not only do you suffer in your own body and mind by losing your temper, you suffer in the esteem of those around you. = 5) Finally, losing your temper creates one of the ugliest ofall in the scars. When you feel that you have been offended, that your feelings have been burt, you have given someone the power to ‘twist you ina spasm of anger. Sit down and write the worst letter you can against the offender. Give full vent to your anger and hatred. When you are through, read the letter, and then tear it up and throw it in the waste basket. Now consider the time and ‘energy that you have wasted in such negative expression of resentment. You have accomplished nothing more than making a small potato out of yourself. Butlet's say that you feel like writing a letter when you are really angry is not a waste of time. But what happens when you don’t write the letter. You do its equivalent anyway. You rehash endless thoughts and phrases and dreams and plans for revenge in your head for hours during the day and night. These mental responses consume even more time and ‘energy than the written one, and they keep you from doing the helpful thing that might have shown real results ‘Some people are angry at somebody or something or even the whole world all the time. Many people have been getting increasingly angry at their employers and at things taking place in the workplace they perceive as unfair. But one fellow channeled this anger productively, created the “Dilbert” cartoon strip as an expression of all that is wrong and frustrating in the workplace, ‘and has become wealthy thanks to the creative response. Everywhere there is frustration, there is opportunity. And often one can choose to be amused rather than angry; to shake one's head in bemusement rather than to shake one’s fist in anger. Pat’ The next symptom of the Failure Mechanism is insecurity Dr. Maltz; Man is a goal seeking mechanism. A sense of security is maintained only when he is moving towards something worthwhile. If you see yourself as having an absence of goals, you become static, and you lose a security and equilibrium that you need. Recently, the president of a large ‘company remarked to me, the man who thinks he has arrived has about used up his usefulness to us. How true is that statement about yourself? Have you used up your own usefulness? Telling yourself that you have reached your goals is a way of substituting pretense for reality. It is a NOTES 197. 2238822222933 2223727337292 22? A~2D222222 22222222Pat means of proving your superiority to yourself and others. If you are superior, there is no need to fight, grapple and strive, You must have a goal everyday. You must continue to go forward, Often times, after we have achieved 2 goal, we begin to feel aimless and uncertain, So itis very important to set another goal immediately. Even if your new goal is only to enjoy the goal you just achieved. We are goal secking beings, and we must have a goal before us to perform at our best and to feel at our best. Remember that your Servo-Mechanism is never idle. It is always moving you toward something. If it is directed with positive goals of your choosing, it will function as a Success Mechanism. If neglected and left without such direction, it usually becomes a Failure Mechanism. ‘The next symptom of the Failure Mechanism is loneliness. Everyone is lonely occasionally, but a chronic and extreme feeling of loneliness is a manifestation of the Failure Mechanism. This alienation from other people and from social activity is usually caused by sagging self image, ‘Another cause of loneliness is the uncomfortable feelings we sometimes experience meeting new people. But when we withdraw and keep to ourselves, we create a feeling of loneliness that can give us far greater discomfort than the nervousness and shyness we feel when mingling with others Dr. Maltz: Regardless of your feelings, you should force yourself to mingle with Phil: ‘others, Develop a social skill that will add to other people's pleasure. Dancing, bridge, tennis, or conversation. When the lonely person forces himself to contribute actively, he will find that most people are friendly and accept him. This experience of acceptance enables him to accept himself. Remember these points: When you walk away from yourself and from others, you are walking away from reality. When you come to know others, its not necessary to build defenses or erect pretenses. Be a partof others. Share your experiences with other human beings. It will take you away from over-absorption of yourself. Loneliness means limitation, Loneliness reflects unbelief in yourself. Loneliness makes you look backward. You should be living in the present, with an eye to the future ‘When you are a part of others, you become your better self. ‘The next sign of a Failure Mechanism is uncertainty. Uncertainty is a way NOTES 198.of avoiding mistakes and avoiding responsibilty Lis based onthe feeling that if we make no decision, than nothing can go wrong. Uncertainty robs us of the chance to get valuable negative feedback from what we know as mistakes, which is the essential information that we need to reach our goals. Dr. Maltz: You must realize that you are not required to be right 100% of the time. Icis the nature of things that we progress by acting, by making mistakes and by correcting our course of action. Previously, we have talked about negative feedback and taking chances in order to correct our course. You cannot correct your course by standing still. You must consider the facts ina situation. Imagine various courses of action and then choose the one that seems to be the best solution. Then you must go ahead. In overcoming uncertainty, you must realize that self esteem plays a role in indecisive- ness. Some people are indecisive because they fear a loss of self esteem if they should make a mistake. But big men and big personalities make mistakes and admit them. Only little men are never wrong. Remember these points about uncertainty. Uncertainty makes you retreat. You must face life. Continual uncertainty makes you unfit for action. You can reach your full measure of dignity, not merely by achieving success, but by rising above your failures. Here is a fascinating idea: negative feedback is positive. How can something be “negative” and “positive” at the same time? Because without the negative feedback, there can be no corrections made, and just about the only way anybody ever arrives anywhere or accomplishes anything is by the process of movement, feedback, adjustment, movement, etc. ‘The next sign is resentment. The Failure Mechanism sends us looking for someone or something to blame. When you habitually look for someone else to blame, you create victim self image. This victim's self image can become so strong, that you'll actually go out and search for injustices and create bad luck to maintain the image of a victimized person. Dr. Maltz: You must remember that resentment is not caused by other persons or events, it is your own emotional response to citcumstances. You alone can control it by convincing yourself that resentment and self pity are not ways to happiness and success, but to unhappiness and defeat. The resentful person is dependant on other people. He makes unreasonable demands onthem, Feeling that they owe him a debt of gratitude. But he should recognize himself for his superior worth. When you become resentful, you lose your self reliance. You turn the reigns over to others. Resentment is the most wasteful aspect of the failure mechanism because it consumes the energy by which success might have been achieved. Our society today is plagued by “victimology”. All sorts of groups have discovered that positioning themselves as victims is a way of securing handouts from government, grudging favorable treatment from others. Individuals have discovered that they can even get rich by crying “victim” - even from ‘something as mundane as spilling hot coffee on themselves! ‘And modern psychobabble is full of new terms for victims of this or that. The important thing to remember is that every time you excuse yourself or gain temporary satisfaction by labeling yourself as a victim, you permanently scar your self-image and give away power. Victimology may be the most dangerous kind ‘of psychological self-fulfilling prophecy of all. Phil: The last component of the Failure Mechanism is emptiness. That empty feeling. Emptiness means that you are avoiding effort and responsibility, thereby creating more emptiness. Emptiness reflects an inadequate self image, Even if you achieve material success, you will feel a sense of guilt, forin your beart you will believe that you don't deserve it. You must strive for goals that are consistent with your self image. That i the beginning of success and happiness, for it brings about a deep inner satisfaction. In many ways, the “empty feeling” is the clearest indicator of the Failure Mechanism taking control. When you are just going through the motions rather than really living life, when you feel “blah” and uninvolved, numb to joy or pain or other emotion, hear the alarm bells going off and respond quickly. DO something, anything to jar yourself loose. (Andi this condition persists, you may be well advised to seek out a professional therapist ) Pat: Understanding these symptoms of the Failure Mechanism is yet another source of power, Remember, as we said earlier, Psycho-Cybernetics is really about enhancing your personal power. WARNING: BRIDGE FREEZES BEFORE ROAD SURFACE, Phil: If you've driven in the East or Midwest, you've seen signs posted ahead of bridges and freeway overpasses that read, “Bridge surface freezes before road surface” or “Icy surface ahead.” The purpose of these signs is to give vou, the driver, enhanced power over a potentially difficult 200. NOTES "I don't think of my- self as a poor deprived ghetto girl who made good. I think of myself as somebody who, from an early age, knew I was respon- sible for myself, and 1 had to make goo -Oprah Winfreysituation by alerting you to danger. Your awareness of the symptoms of the Failure Mechanism serves the same purpose. Dr. Maltz: Youmust be aware of the negative factors in order to stay clear of them. ‘The negative should alert you to danger. Each component of the Failure Mechanism abuses the person who uses it. You must leam to shift the Failure Mechanism into the Success Mechanism when it appears. When you have feelings of fear or frustration, remember your courage. When you feel anger or aggressiveness, put it to work as self confidence. When youre feeling insecure, remember maturity begins with self acceptance. When you have chronic feelings of loneliness, replace them with under- standing for others. When you are uncertain, tell yourself not to be afraid ofa mistake. You will grow from it. When you are resentful, replace it with ‘compassion. And when you see that there is nothing but emptiness inside ‘you, tell yourself that you cannot be empty if you have a daily goal. Dr. Maltz: Too many of us are undecided. We impale ourselves on the fence of indecision. Our goals are indefinite. We don't know where we're going, We must overcome this attitude. Indecision means doubt, and doubt implies fear. Perhaps sometime in the past, you made a bad mistake, and you are afraid to repeat this mistake. But remember this, because you failed badly once, this does not mean you are a failure as a human being. ‘We must learn to be decisive. We must set goals. We must have courage to make up our minds. We must have the courage to take a stand. We must, make decisions. To do this, we must overcome the fear of past failures. We must also win out over the need to be perfect. Because when we become doers, when we set goals and take action, we make ourselves vulnerable to possibilities of failure. To be decisive, we must be able to accept the bad with the good and keep going. We move to indecision to decision, when we think enough of ourselves to accept ourselves, no matter what are the consequences of our actions. Then we can feel the capacity to feel decisive, Remember the words of Cicero, “There is grief in indecision.” Perfection is an illusion, a mirage. Waiting until you can do a thing perfectly means waiting forever. The team that wins the championship still played a flawed game, in which many of its star players made mistakes - but overall, the team rose above its mistakes. It did not play a perfect game. The Oscar-winning actor has made many mistakes in his career and has appeared in movies that failed miserably at the box office and were savaged by critics. Everywhere you look, people who achieve enormoussuccess are flawed humans who make any number of mistakes NOTES and experience frustration, disappointment, criticism and _—_ embarrassment. They rise above it all by continuing to make _ decisions, not by retreating into indecision. Pat: With your mastery of the Psycho-Cybernetics system, you have all the power you need to be a decisive doer Dr. Maltz: What can you do when your failure is not due to your own actions, but to what has happened to you? Though all of us fail, we become successful by virtually rising above our failures. That is what success is all about ‘You're successful because you had a goal and you not only tried to reach it, but in your effort to reach it, you refused to permit anyone to stand in your way. By this, I mean, you weren't aggressive destructively, rather you were aggressive creatively. You refused to let anyone, close as they ‘may be to you, to convince you that you couldn'tdo it You, on yourown | "You must get good at terms, made it possible. To putt simply, success in life is what voudowith | one of two things: yourself. On your creative terms, without stepping on other people's toes, | Planting in the spring ecteee vousgy | of begging in the fal.” and without stepping on your own toes with negative feelings. You an¢ “Jim Rohn you alone are responsible for your success, It doesn’t depend on anyone else. The same applies to failure. If you fail in an undertaking, you're only human, You must learn from this failure, not to repeat it again, but to rise above it and make something of yourself. You take the responsibility for the mistake. You don't cry in your soup and blame someone else, When you assume the responsibility for your failure and correct your course, you ‘grow creatively, and you reach a sense of well-being and happiness. Never tell yourself that failure is someone else’s fault. Remember, that you are a goal striver, reaching goals day in and day out, as long as you live. You ‘must tell yourself that creative living start right now, not tomorrow. The time to live creatively is now, We're ll familiar with the word “mafiana’ it means tomorrow in Spanish. We think of a Latin American who, because of the hot climate of his country, does not want to work. The people of the Caribbean and Central American countries stand most accused of having a mafiana philosophy, but there's no truth in this. There is great activity in all these countries. Besides, doing things matiana is inherent in all of us, regardless of race or geography. At best, hot weather only accentuates the problem when it is in the person. Doing things tomorrow is a negative philosophy without purpose. It leads to nothing, because no one has ever seen tomorrow, it's always too ellusive. Unfor- tunately, the right tomorrow never comes. The time todo things creativelyPhil: is right now. But there is a way of using the matiana philosophy construc- tively. There is an attitude about doing things tomorrow that can be rewarded. Pick a few qualities about yourself or other people that you detest. They don't have to be too many, just afew. For example, hatred or conceit. You don'tlike to see hatred when it is directed at you orat others. ‘Add some others to the list. Insolence, bigotry, envy, boredom, revenge, anything you don’t like. As soon your spirit becomes poisoned with any of these emotions, adopt the matiana philosophy. Get lazy, say itis too hot to hate'now, I'll do it tomorrow. Envy, that can wait. I'll take care of it another day. Revenge, well I don’t have time for it now, some other time. Get that tomorrow habit for the destructive things that you don’t want to do. A tomorrow that never seems to come around. You'll breathe better and fee! better, and it will tum you into what you really are, a better person, ridding your self-image of many scars. Let's see how the Failure Mechanism actually worked on one person. One day, not long ago, Dr. Maltz was to lecture at a university in California about Psycho-Cybernetics. Dr. Maltz: Early that morning, as I was getting dressed, the telephone rang. It was ‘ayoung man who had noticed that the light was on in my room, and asked if would autograph his copy of Psycho-Cybernetics. I invited him into the room, a moment later, there was a knock at the door and he entered. In talking with him after autographing the book, he started telling me that he felt himself a failure. I asked him why. ‘Young Man: Whenever [lookin the mirror, I feel invisible. Isee somebody, but yet I see nothing. Dr. Maltz: Yet, I see somebody important in front of me. Young Man: Thanks doctor, but I'm a failure. Dr. Maltz: At your age? What do you do? Young Man: I'm the Assistant Manager of this motel. My father runs it, Dr. Maltz; Tell me about yourself. Young Man: There's really not much to tell. Dr. Maltz; Start with school, when you were a kid. Young Man: Nothing much totell you, except there was this bully. He used to 203. TTT TTTVTTTITTTETTTITCCTCLLLCLC CTC CCPC CSUSB eReeeReteeeelbeat me up all the time, In fact, he broke my nose, twice Dr. Maltz: Didn't you fight back? Young Man’ He was much stronger. He always picked on me. | used to run into the woods and eat my lunch there. I guess I always knew I was a failure. Dr Malt: That was yesterday, How about now? How old are you? Young Man: 25. Dr. Maltz: Forget about yesterday. Live in the now Young Man: I try, but Dr. Maltz) But what. Young Man; Well, my mother. She's a wonderful person, but she said that! was always negative. I would never amount to anything Dr. Matz: How would she know? ‘Young Man: She says I'm like her. inherited the trait from her. My sister takes after my father. She succeeds in everything she does. Dr. Maltz: Do you get along with your mother? Young Man: Well, she favors my sister. She hates in me what she hates in herself. Failure Dr Mal: Are you married? Young Man: I was. My wife hated me too. Dr. Malt: Why? Young Man: just didn't know how to cope with her. I was attentive, but it didn’t do any good. You see, her father was a drunk and he used to beat hher mother. She hates men, I would get drunk and she'd hate me more. We havea child, girl, 4. Very beautiful. I would play with her when my wife wasn't around. But then, when she appeared, my daughter would run out of the room, She wouldn't talk to me in my wife’ presence Dr. Matz; Is there anything you really like to do? Young Man; Mm Hm. Photography Dr. Maltz: You're nota failure at that, are you? Notes 204.Young Man; No. I'm good at it. But, well, I like to take pictures of children. Especially my own daughter. I used to hide in the dark room. I was safe from the world. Dr. Maltz; You felt negative, like the negative in the film. Young Man: Exactly Dr. Maltz: Yet you developed that negative. A picture came out. Didn't that make you feel good? ‘Young Man: — Great. love making prints. I made a beautiful picture, once, of my daughter when she was three, With a smile on her face. Really captured her feeling of Joy Dr. Maltz; You started something and finished it, all by yourself. Young Man: Yes Dr. Maltz; You had a goal and you reached it. You were successful in that undertaking. You aren't always a failure. Young Man: But that was just a picture, Dr Maltz: A picture of life in which you were involved. Tell me, how do you get along with your father? ‘Young Man: Okay. But I feel smothered in his presence. He's overpowering. He does all the work. Dr. Malt; Do you want to manage a motel yourself? Young Man: I'd love to after I get out of college. I'm finishing a course this Spring. Maybe if I were on my own, I wouldn't be so negative Dr. Maltz; Try it then. Young Man: Do you think I'd do well? Dr. Maltz: Ifyou give yourself a chance. You never have Young Man: There's job opening this Summer in Hawaii. It would be a good experience working in a motel chain, Dr. Maltz; _Grabit. You deserve a chance. Listen, you've been running away from life and yourself. Go on the adventure of finding yourself and your ‘true worth. Go into a room of your mind or into your darkroom and instead of developing pictures, develop yourself: Develop the negative of yourself 205. £29299 2029220223223 2202023204462222442224%2422227222222048383{nto a person who can fulfill himself. Who can find his own self respect, There, in the darkness, turn the negative you, the failure you, into a positive you, a successful human being. You can do it. Look at yourself with kind eyes. You are neithera superior or inferior person. You are you. Capable of fear, but capable of rising above it. Capable of failure, but capable of rising above that too. A failure is a stimulus for you to make something of yourself. Develop yourself with a smile of confidence on ‘your face like the one you developed of your daughter, with a smile of joy on her face Two years later, when he was back in New York, Dr. Matz received a surprise visit from this young man. He was on his way to the Caribbean where he was going to be the manager of a motel Young Man: I did it doctor. I developed myself into what | am now, and I don't use the darkroom. I found my self respect and forgot yesterday. And now when I look in the mirror, I don't feel invisible anymore. I see somebody ‘Somebody I have faith in With your mastery of the Psycho-Cybernetics system, you have all the power you need to rise above any and all unsuccessful experiences and use them as building blocks to success Dr. Maltz: Have youa simple guide to heal emotional scars? I wouldn't call this a simple guide, but you can heal your emotional scars, if you don't sell yourself short, if you don’t keep remourning your bad luck, or hiding because you feel you are unworthy. Forget about your bad luck or unworthiness. Question your feeling that you are inferior. When your frustrations enrage you, channel your feelings. Use it constructively in your own interest. And every day, ask yourself, “How do I, my own plastic surgeon, heal my emotional wounds?” Your best tool isa self image you create, You create this picture of yourself and you rise above blunders and turn crisis into opportunities. You create this strong image of yourself Perhaps you should try giving yourself a spiritual face lift. I'm not making a play on words. It opens you up to more life, more vitality, the stuff that youth is made of, Look around you, Who are the youthful people you know over the age of 40? The grumpy, the resentful, the pessimistic, or the people who are cheerful, optimistic, good natured people. I've often seen ‘men and women appear to grow five to ten years younger after removing 206.theirinner, emotional scars, Carrying a grudge against someone or against life can bring on the old age stoop, just as much as carrying a heavy weight around on your shoulders. People with emotional scars, grudges and the like, are living in the past, which is also characteristic of old people. The ‘youthful attitude and the youthful spirit which erases wrinkles from the soul and the face, and putsa sparkle in the eye, looks tothe future, and has a great expectation to ook forward to. So why not give yourself.a facelift? ‘You have a do-it-yourself kit consisting of relaxation of negative tensions, therapeutic forgiveness, creative living, and above all, a willingness to be alittle vulnerable. Develop a nostalgia for the present, instead of the past. ‘See yourself with kind eyes. You'll be much younger for it Here isa story abouta man I never met personally. I saw him on television, and he remained in my mind. He was 79 years old. Retired, of course, living on Social Security, confined in a wheelchair, not employed. Wrong, ‘Well, then he has a desk job. Wrong again. A messenger. A 79 year old ‘messenger, buzzing around, running around to check on all the action he hhad been missing. I watched him on television. He was a very youthful 79 ‘year old who talked about his work, delivering packages cheerfully and about the people he met everyday, and how he felt healthy and happy moving around. And when I clicked off the set, he remained in my mind, reminding me that retiring from life when you don’t have to means ‘unhappiness, With your mastery of the Psycho-Cybernetics system, you can ignite all the power of your Success Mechanism and keep it working in your best interest every minute of your life Have you ever had one of those days when one problem just seems to be followed by another, then another, then yet another? Of course, all of us have. And that’s when the danger is greatest for the Failure Mechanism to shake itself awake, stretch, gain strength and garner power. The next time ‘your day seems like an endless track of hurdles, extending out in front of youas far as you can see, remembering this story about a champion hurdler may help you: Dr. Maltz: Let me give you an example of a true story which will illustrate a ‘common, negative emotional situation. Every day of your life, you are faced with hurdles. Usually you manage to take them in stride, asa result cof long experience in problem solving. This situation is very similar tothat 207.of an athlete who takes the hurdles during his track training. I happen to know a burdle champion who won many medals in college. He was the epitome of grace, agility, and fast footwork. He took the hurdles with such cease, that it was hard to remember that it was a result of practice, courage and endurance. Itjust seemed to come to him naturally. After the college days were over, a friend gave him a job as a salesman in his insurance company. Years passed. He got married, and now has young son, but somehow, never got far in his job as a salesman, Although he was likeable and made friends easily, he managed to sell only a small amount of insurance during the year. He just didn't seem to have the drive, the courage, or the perseverance, He lost the desire to achieve that had made him a champion hurdler. One day, ata college class reunion, he metsome of his former classmates. They spent time atthe track where some of the current students were practicing jumping the hurdles. His friends coaxed him to try to see how good he might be. His judgement, not improved by couple of drinks; he went ahead and borrowed a pair of spikes and rushed to jump the hurdles on the course. He remembered only how good he had been in the past, and at the frst burdle, he slipped and broke his leg. He was in a cast for a month. This gave him some time to think and to take stock of himself. He recalled that he had become a champion through constant practice to overcome mistakes and falls. He realized that he was much too old for hurdle jumping, but when he was a student, he had self confidence, understanding of his craft, courage and self acceptance. He suddenly realized that there was no reason on earth why he couldn't be a champion salesman. Why couldn't he jump the hurdles of living, the hurdles of his daily problems? He knew that fear and lack of confidence kept hem from being a champion, When he was well again, be approached selling insurance with the same understanding, the same tenacity and the same desire for excellence that he had applied to athletics. He practiced how to approach a customer, rehearsed in his mind what to say, studied how to overcome possible obstacles, and refused to be dismayed if he was not perfect at first, so long as he was improving. In less than a year, he became @ top flight salesman, increased his earning capaci and enjoyed the satisfaction that comes with overcoming a difficulty, as well as being able to do more for his family. You, too, can jump the hurdles of tension and stress, You can approach every day’s goal with confidence, with the assurance that you have the power to make your failures into stepping stones. You must always remember the saying, "Failure teaches success.” NOTES 208.Pat, Now picture yourself asa hurdle jumper. Determine to succeed. Plan the ‘program by which you will map your progress to success. Keep the picture of success before you when you are confronted by stress and tension. ‘The former champion hurdler utilized his previous successful experiences in competitive athletics, along with his creative imagination to become a champion in selling. It's a fundamental principle of Psycho-Cybernetics that anybody and everybody has the opportunity to use a collection of previous successful experiences from one activity, plus the creative imagination as a means of achieving success in a new and different activity. Our Failure Mechanism is activated and fueled by frustration, and frustration is the result of feeling that we cannot do something. Yet we can do just about anything we set out to do, if we follow the hurdler’s example, Dr. Maltz: Fearis anotheraspect of frustration, but frustration should be a stimulus Phil: for you to overcome so that you can make something of yourself. Besides fear, there are other aspects of frustration. Retreat, it can be thrust upon you, or you can thrust it upon yourself. You surrender your self image and your feeling of worth. We all have good in us. You find this good and win over your fears when you set goals for yourself each day, when you take an active interest in doing things, when you encourage your creative curiosity, and go towards the world with vigor. Fear may mean resignation and readiness to accept defeat because you made a mistake. But you must never resign from your self image or turn over your destiny to others. Fear also means that you let the vital fluids of your personality go down the drain, When fear strikes, claim your identity. Overcome your sense of inadequacy. Rise above your blunders. The business of creative living is totum your back on negative feelings, refusing to let them sidetrack you from self fulfillment. Have compassion for yourself. Give yourself another chance. Let your confidence and belief in yourself, your Success Mechanism work for you. ‘To keep the Failure Mechanism from concerning your life, Dr. Maltz says you must be able to overcome frustration. Here are his ten Psycho- ‘Cybernetics principles for conquering frustration, Dr. Maltz: 1) Resolve to bounce back. You must be resilient under pressure. Frustration should be a stimulus for you to rise above it. NOTES 209. CREOSSSSESSESCCAECSEKECEEEZZZZLLLALDDDALAADOEOOE210. 2) Haveenthusiasm for change. Every day, your self-image NOTES has to change, adapting itself to the situation at hand, Refuse to let anyone tamper with your destiny 3) See creative goals and focus. You overcome frustration by thinking of a new worthwhile goal you can reach. 4) Investigate your potential, Look in the mirror and try to find your courage, self respect, and compassion. 5) _Leave the regrets of yesterday behind. Move from yesterday into the great adventure of today, now. 6) Youare a goal striver. Become involved in a new goal 7) Utilize the Servo-Mechanism within you to succeed. Steer your mind to a successful completion of a goal 8) Feed your assets, Remember your confidence, your belief in yourself that you cam rise above a mistake. 9) Concentrate on one thought ata time, One action at a time, One goal ata time. The more you concentrate on a useful goal, the less time you will have on frustration 10) Create the better you. You are your own plastic surgeon Remove the scars from your self image. You are great when you reach your goal, no matter how small. Phil: In addition to these ten points, Dr. Maltz has a few words especially for you, if you found yourself in the grasp of the Failure Mechanism lately Dr. Maltz: You've been running away from life and yourself. Goon the adventure of finding yourself and your true worth. Go into a room of your mind, Develop the negative of yourself into a person who can fulfill himself. ‘Who can find his own self respect. Turn the negative you the failure you into a positive you. A successful human being. You can do it. Look at ‘yourself with kind eyes. You are neither a superior or inferior person. You are you, capable of fear but capable of rising above it. Capable of failure, but capable of rising above that too. A failure is a stimulus to make something of yourselfPat: Phil: ‘Once, again, we are approaching the end of this session. A description of MENTAL TRAINING EXERCISES for this lesson will follow in a few ‘moments, Soif you are only able to listen right now, you may want to stop the tape and leave it in its position until you can do the exercises. In this lesson in your Manual, you'll find a simple useful method for defeating anger called “the breath of life.” Become familiar with it, and use it as often as necessary. You'll quickly find that anger will no longer be able to gain the upper hand. There is a Theater Of Your Mind exercise called, “the eraser,” which you can use to rid yourself of negative feelings attached to past events Also, there are several more important goal exercises to continue pro- gramming your Servo-Mechanism to fulfill its goal seeking potential Finally, there is a mirror exercise, for which Dr. Maltz gives you these personal instructions. Dr Maltz: Remember, all of us are lonely at times. However, the chronic feeling ‘of loneliness is a symptom of the Failure Mechanism. You deliberately cut off the lines of communication with yourself and with others. This is an ineffective way of protecting yourself against exposure and hurt. More creative living means establishing an adequate self image, Accept your- self and you will find ways of having others accept you too. Remember, ‘no one can make you lonely without your consent. NOTES aul.‘MMITT SMITH was home alone one nigh in Apri, mine. ing his own busi- ness, when the old . picture sated croc ng his head again twas Walter Pay- to, the former Chi cago Bears great ‘who rushed for more yards than any back in NFL history. Payton was wearing his familiar number 34. He had that big C on the side of his helmet, and be was chomp- ing on that funny-Jooking mouthpiece. ‘And he was running, running because that’s how Emmitt sees him when- ever the picture comes ‘back: Payton slipping past the defense, Payton find- ing open field, Payton sco. inga touchdown ‘This night a torrent of numbers came taling after the picture, and Emit felt compelled to write them down. He got outa pea anda piece of paper and made a rote that Payton had rushed for almost 17,000 yards in his career. Next to that figure Em- mitt seribbled the number 9.000, whichis approximately hhow many yards he has gained since joining the Dallas Com- ‘boys in 1990. (On the page the difference seemed incredible. Payton's figure looked huge, almost epic, while 1's Seemed small and in- soine simple arithmetic. F over the ne ive years you gan 1.500 yards @ season, he said to himself, thar ‘ive you anather 7,500. "He was writing furiously now, his face crimped with intensity. [twas history, after all, that he was tying to draw abead on: a place where no runner had ever gone be fore. Ad the 75000 the 9,000 you veal ready gained, he continued, and your foal 15 16,500. Te was sll few hundred yards short of Payton’s mark But there was something ider. In five years Emmitt Payton finished his playing would be Tan be there.” Enunit sai later when be found himself fang on the reat Wal ter Payton again. “But I've got to hit one helluva pace. I've gor to get ahead of che ‘cure. and Ican do that. There's time, there's time What makes Emmitt run? Why is he in such a hury? What, exacts, does he expect to find when he gets where he's going? Today he'l ind a new $2 million manse jn Addison, Texas. just north of Dallas, because thar's where he's headed now. wheeling through trafic with an intensity ‘of purpose that would shame even the Indy 500 boys. Emmitt moved into the house over the Christmas holidays, and he really couldn't be happier, despite the fat thatthe 212. stay close to his money, He ented apa ments, one after another, never paying more than $800 a month for two bed rooms, But when the annual value of his en- orsement deals came to equal that of his 53.4 million salary with the Cowboys, Em- mitt threw some money at an architect and said, “O.K.. build it.” and ater 13 tor ‘urous months it was eady “To celebrate, Emumit’s family came out from Pensacola, Fla, over the holidays, and some 30 guests stayed at the house Emmitt’ mother, Mary Smith, always the paragon of modesty, took her shoes off before climbing the staircase, not ‘wanting o scratch the mahogany “Emmitt, you should cover this with some carpet,” she told him, ‘And Emmitt answered, “Mama, ‘yu don't cover wood that pret ty with carpet.” What was A amazing was how easily the SAA “house held everyone. On oA CCaristmas morning the fam- wah ly held hands and sang songs, and everybody was just so happy that Emmitt ‘was happy. He remem: ered how when he was a 1, boy.he mowed lawns for oom a ny and sold pera LSet A id ahiinam cand a “3 squirreled away his sav- oe “ 3 ‘pain a beabup shoe —- : Masa meee Te eee owe ike ths ne, Perens Seuedi tome soiree to botiom 2 oe aeeaiS FO Today traffic is oa jacked opr tad a ‘sey ne Ba curtains and bedroom suite haven't come yet and the lawn little spotty. Emmit spared 20 ‘expense in building the place, for this was tobe the home ofa man who in only si pro seasons had already won three Super Bowls ‘and four rushing tiles and who last year set the NFL record for most touchdowns in 2 season, 25. To reflect his great good fortune, Emmitt wanted something altogether spec- ‘cular. And so now he has it: a home suited for Jay Gatsby, or atleast forthe best football player inthe game today ‘Until he made the move, Emmitt oc- cupid fairly modest accommodations for 8 man of hi means, in keeping with his rep- lutation for being someone who likes £9 sees an opening, somebody fils Oniy a couple of miles from his house he comes to a tollbooth and hardly stops, ‘throwing two quarters atthe roll machine — ‘one for himself, one forthe reporter fl lowing in the ear behing ir. Emit puts an arm out the window and waves forthe reporter to drive on, but the guy doesn't un- Gerstand, He must think Emmis pointing atthe sky or something, Because he tops land feeds the machine a third quarter, ‘and by then Emmitt is long gone, weaving, through traffic, blowing past everybody. ‘Emmi drives lke he runs the football, ‘which isto say hard and without pretense, and in minutes he has lost the reporter, and the reporter has lost him, and all Emmitt 101s pull ver and wait inthe parking Jot of a shopping mall, and everybody THREE YEARS AGO EMMITT'S AIMS BEGAN WITH GOD AND ENDED WITH MICKEY MOUSE; IN BETWEEN WAS FOOTBALLEmmitt Smith knows how he hats to wait, how wating to him isthe slowest form of death, Back in 1990, his rookie year, Emmitt had tobe the frst one off the ground after vs tackled. He was that impacient. He would push everybody off and race back 10 he huddle to see if Dallas quarte Troy Aikman would let him run again, The defease couldn’ understand why Emmitt was in such hury, unless he “You hur, Emmitt?” came a voice. It was ‘a guy on the other team. Everybody had gotten off Emmitt by then, and he was stil ying there, just as his father had told him. “Hurt?” Emmitt said. “No, ain't hur.” And then a remarkable thing happened [Before Emmitt cou rie on his own power, the guy was offering him a hand. He was helping Emmitt up, expending some of EMMITT LIVES ALONE BUT HOPES A FAMILY WILL SOMEDAY BLEKD INTO THE PICTURE had an attitude problem. But it wasn that, and it wasn't about being young, e ther “T just had this energy.” Emmitt says “Thad this... enthusiasm.” Then one éay alter a game, his father, Emmitt Smith Je. pulled him aside and gave him a look. Er mits dad doesa't tak much, and some- times when he gives you a look i's ike he's giving you a smack in the chops. He won ‘ered why Emmitt couldn't be patient and wait on the ground like anormal pe Son.” he said. “you know how m ergy you waste trying tobe the fist one up Tike thae?” Emmitt thought about it for a minu "You're right.” he finally said. And the nest week, when he was tackled, he lay there and looked at the world and ad. mired it and felt altogether grateful for his place in it his own energy, conserving Emmi’. “There was a powerful lesson in tha, if ‘you had time to look. But who has time anymore, least ofall Emmit, the busiest ‘man in all of football? And now in the parking lot of the shopping mal, after having blowa about 15 minutes of his valu able time, Emmitt is starting to get jumpy. He wanted to give the reporter a tour of is hhouse—iet him meet the dogs, show him the minibars and the porcelain doll col- lection, walk him through the master bed room suite and bath. Emmitt drives to where his car ean be sen from the street, and at long las the reporeratives, “Why'd you take off like that?” the guy asks, stick ing his head out his car window. ‘But Emmitt doesn't answer. He shifts into drive and gives his Lexus a long. tall ink of unleaded e 213. é ‘The tuth ig Emmis been on the since ne aay he we born ns bop ee oeoniay feos Dc his hin Bes eng faye al sueecns wen cn mh tnd ater he 1856 season hes tke ‘signa new deal with Dallas making him h@ igbespald player in focal. thas Solan! Ban an ig ol teen occee Toe oom “The Coton seal here 0 ita tengh Fao x estan distant pestee oe four ene Ente Cecoecae and nl Seri compary) Eran Seah Com nications Corporation (which sells af soccer aoc pees a Zoos ne (rch ieee ma seit (Reha Seca oo pour) nd Ent Sah Car vende unter coearor O al tidand otal booing Sey» day of Boats led ial apenas “Sra eo san we El wl o2 doing wo be sherone Neubert a Cub pated i as ln nl Jou Ronse a I ecto es reel Ema Sit Communit “He thames have ale ottsove, Pog Galland say Can Emit ots? or Cl Snatces buredne ious ia tie andthe date vavend then Wer Wiser tony ot en a Sear bol tnattec erat ‘api Ns conmimens Ea Sate tc pnd opening ist Ober hi Daas clas phont tases E tiitaried ibe ton Ban to Spent he nerung boone mat of Sones incetieons coool eee: maid mg et rc one “Ent Sui Commun one bend "Ths Ee ‘His name inspired silence on the ot ¢ we tloa leben tect jeperas Gomer Sits ue Emmi i Now ow thelp you” Linc tet hy ii rad will store and asked his staff how things soing Everybody said, “Great.” Sales wet brisk customers seemed satisied vas wearing a Serious expression on face He asked forte folders of 10 tomers. The folders eld invokes with tomes ane phone numbers of peop had bough ching tthe store that da Enwatt went into an offce and la the dor. He opened a fe and foun sine and cle The person and iy214. emmitt smith 0, this is Emmitt Smith of Emmitt Emmitt i no different when it comes ‘Smith Communications You came by our to business. Write it down and it isnt @ osiness today, and Ijust wanted to know dream—it' a goal. "One day not lon raat seats wes. Did everything goall says Everen Brooks, marketing manager for And, sometimes, that requires pulling peo- Emmitt Smith Communications, "Emmitt ple aside and asking the hard questions Ain some of those he called di’ be- came mand sit down and arted puingto- “Tell me something, Everet” Emit lieve it was really Emmitt. They laughed an organization char detailing exc said o Brooks one day recently. “Why do eee ees seed and succumbed to mild where he wants t0 be in si months. He you have so much inventory in here?” fits of hysteria, Didn't he have more im: sil out in deta Lwant ths person They were standing in the stockroom, portant things to do? With the football here. and I want this peso tobe doing this, ell,” Brooks answered, looking aorta fulboring could he possibly have He was projecting future job asgnments for around, “we're having a promotion this of Emmitt’s goals is to be as sue sful off the field as he ison it. Tat re Jo" quires dedication. That requires go go go. time to phone a complete stranger and mows what he wants, And coming Friday.” isk how his new cellular service was work- nothing will stop him” ‘O.K..” Emmitt said. “Fine. Keep up ing out? the good work." Seve can be of any GROWING UP WITH MARY, EMMITT DREAMED OF HIS DREAM HOUSE Ii God isinthe details as hep,” Emit sid, “please they say, then Emmi wil don't hesitate to call or learn the details. He will come bs.” lear all he needs to know “There are so many qualities char Emmitt pos ‘esses, and the most im pressive one is that he's @ good person,” says Joe Brodsky, the Cowboys’ run- ning backs coach. “Examitt was brought up properly He knows where e's going at all imes and bow to get, there, He's what I call 8 complete grinder, meaning he's totally focused and wil ‘do anything i takes to win, don’t think there's a se ish bone in Emit’ body He'd giveitall up—even= thing —for the team, ‘Back when Emmitt was student at Escambia High in Pensacola, his football coach used 10 say, “Its @ Steam until you write i down, Then it's © goal.” ‘And Emmitt never forgot that, He all but branded to stay ahead ofthe game, ‘Toachiewe this end he has surrounded himself with good people. In fact, his lnmyer, Mike Ferguson, is 2 retired brigadier general of the U.S. Army. Most play fers are content to hire a lawyer bright enough to have passed the bar exam, but not Emmitt. Emmit’s lawyer, you don’t know whether to shake his hand (or hit the dirt and giv 10 push-ups. And what does Emnmit cll the man? “Mike,” Ferguson says “He did ask me once. early 0, if he should eal! me General, but, no, 1 said Mike was fine Somebody comes 9 Em: smi with a business propo- sition, Ferguson checks it cout, Restaurants, night clubs, shopping centers, you ‘ame it: Emmitt has been asked to invest in them all. One group even wai him to put some money into a satellite. At the end of each year Ferguson con ‘of Emmit’s business asso cates. “His corporate en tities are represented.” Fer sguson says. “His financial advisers, his accountants bis corporate general man agers. Emmitt is at even meeting, making decisions 'A few years ago Emit was eacning only abou $500,000 a year in en orsement money. Othe the words om his heart, and be was bays writing things down. When Emmitt was a played his fst game, one of bis Dallas teammates, safe ty James Washington (20W with the Washington Red- skins), stopped by to visit him at his apartment and found Emmit siting and ‘writing things ike “Rookie of the Year” and “leading rusher" on piece of paper. “What are you doing” ‘Washington asked. ‘Emmit eld up the lis. This is what want t0 2 compli this season.”Emmitt Smith Jetes were making fortunes; me. They'd run at him with arms out~ points on the screen, He had the keenest Michael Jordan led the pack with rough stretched. and he'd seamy million a year. Emmitt decided he grasp, an escape artis ys 215. st past their concentration, a if he were memorizing then: lay, st, formations. *Footall” En ga eid be doing better, He gove bis agent A month or wo later, not even a year mitt says. “I remember it before anything Six months to come up with a plan to old, Emmitt started working on his eam ‘and when the 2 failed to satisty him, Emmitt hired some- down w! market him bett body else She. Siting there watching wating oe tattenicamnenon Serer es perce footatfon TV, thing eu, there was footbal.” ent His mother had noticed tbat he quit T oant tobe the Michael Jor~ So she took to placing him in a swing in At twohhe was walking the edges of curbs ddan of football,” he told Werner front ofthe set ever ime tgamewason. and the tops of fences, his arms spread il fof the Advantage Marketing Group, a Emmi would sithere rans, bis dark, out he the wings ofan airplane, and not gg Dallas firm that now oversees Emmit’s wobbling commercial ventures. "After Emmitt was named MVP of Super Bow XVI in January 1994, Scott or tanized a suramit of his on ft Walt Disney World in Or Tando, Hl ealled it the Team Emmitt Summitt, and he Drought rogether marketing reps from companies that either had a relationship ‘with Emmitt or wanted t0 develop one. The group spent a couple of days tying to decide how best to sell Emmitt to the world, and Emmi was there for every ‘meeting aking notes pitch ing ideas of his own, don't want to overex ploit myself,” he says now: “But to sit here and be in the position I'm in and not really explore my opportu- nites and maximize them, Tbe wasting my talent.’ be dumb.” Since 1995 he has eamed as much from endorsements as he has from the Cowboys. “Maybe inthe near future,” he says, we ean double or triple that, Maybe next year.” Tf he ean wait that long. The pace, the drive, t hhunger—they’re nothing nev: to Emmitt He hustled even a a kid, always a step head of others his age, al ‘ways looking for records to rope. ine months ol, for in- stance, and he had already figured out how 1 climb out otis crib. His family would be eating inthe kitchen or siting in the den, ané Ex: mitt would appear with & Took of hot, eager triumph fn his face. Try, the look seemed to say. Tr and catch fees following the action to all even a big, fast wind could knock him ‘down, On the playground, EMMITT'S STAR SHINES IN PENSACOLA, AT MIS COLLECTIBLES SHOP you couldn't tackle him ¢~ her. Emmitt was like one of thc nae rch og iy dona No Bae etary eg rile acca Ierocre tka ete Smee Tey runes He olan Mavi onal ote Sounie Tis her drove a Ps sol cy Secaosmcn sear «ant Toe St ne Soytnedi towing feevonbuy Conta Soe Een th ie Susie mh ony Enstincr vine pom ties has Sesiecuh g Taporancs of hard wo sroitce, hone: Ea Selpoartoae ea Smt cing 200 he wl witeg owen prt Tbe oar trans nother ols econ ne el Sraoines never serimped and saved af bought the clothes “That was a valuable $00,” he would say maj years later. “It gave m Sense of independence. showed me that if Team ‘own money, then Te the right spend itn w fever I want, and nobody say anything about it” "True to form, Em: ‘even beat the rest of field to puberty. He whiskers at 12. They sense, furry bunches, wsthe whiskers of al the other kids could be counted one-rwo-three. “Eighth grade, and he looked like a grown man,” says Johnny Nichols, one of Emrni's oldest and best friemds ‘At 13 Emmitt was practising the moves, he uses today. You gave him the ball and he could see things the play developing as if in iow motion, the hole that everybody else saw as only a crease, the very inten of the defense Jimmy Nichols used to go to middle school track meets to see Emmitt run Jimmy is Johnny's father, and back in those ‘days he was he flensve coordinator at Es ceambia High. “The guy could relly go,” Timmy says of Emmitt. “Rules kept us from talking to him, but I kept hearing that he was coming to Escambia, and you ‘can just about imagine how excited that made me. His speed was impressive, and ‘most people don’ think he has great speed. I will say this about that: Nobody ever caught Emmitt from behind. I's decep- tive speed. He does what he has to do, [Not only could he ran as an eighth-grader, bout ihe way the kd handled and present ‘ed himself Set him apart. This was a young man as 13-year-old.” Dwight Thomas, then Eseambia's head coach, had the same frst impression. He once tolda reporter from USA Today that, after meeting Emmitt he dug up the kid's bicthcenfcate justo make sure he wasn’t as old as he seemed, Fourteen was when Emmitt fist ven- tured into a weight room and setied under a barbell He liked it the warm iron ba, the slattering plates. Ina month he was squat ting 400 pounds and clean-and jerking 275, Coaches and players watched in heart hammering wonder, their mouths form. ing ctees. “Fourteen,” they whispered ‘At the start of wo-adays, Thomas and Nichols gave Emmitt a locker inthe varsi- 'y dressing room. They also gave him two weeks to prove himself deserving of the honor, but Emmitt took care of that at the fist few practices. "Since nobody could exactly tackle the guy...” recalls Nichols, The year before, Escambia had won ‘only one of 10 games, but during Emmitt’, freshman season, in 1983, the Gators went 7-3 and barely mised the playotfs Emmitt ‘artied the team, just as he would for the next few years. Back in those days he was buely5'9, but he eould dunk a basketball His thighs were almost as big around then as they are now: 27 inches. Emmi went to ‘Sores and ogled the yawning racks of jeans fot one pair of which he could pull up pst his knees. "Mama," he complained, “why ean everybody wear jeans but me?” Sixteen, and the college recruiters start ced to gather along the sidelines 10 watch him practice. They came by the dozens ll ‘manner of recruiters from all kinds of schools: hustlers and dreamers, losers and champions and also-rans. It was a rare at ‘umn Friday night chat Emmitt didn’t rash for moce than 100 yards bu that wasn’ the ‘only reason people went to see him. A sort of folldore had grown up around htm, and people wanted to be able to say they had seen him play way beck when, He was so much fun to wate, the legend goes, that a coach for rival Gulf Breeze “High complained one night when Nichols polled Emamice out of the game. It was Es cambia’s policy to bench its starters as 000 asthe game got out of reach, and in this one the outcome was settled early in the third quarter. “Tt was something lke 445-0," Nichols recalls “And after the game the coach for the other team is mad as hell. He comes over and says Jimmy, whet are you doing taking Emmitt out” Isai, "Look here, Ihave no intention of embar rassing you and your kids’ He said, Come on! Tike watching the kid run!” In four years at Escambia, Emmi slightly more than 8800 yards rushing, the fourth-best career total ever fora school boy sunning back. Parade magazine named him the national high school Player ofthe Year in 1986, and USA Today, in doing the same, put him on its lead sports page FLORIDA PREP BECOMING A LEGEND, PAST, said the headline “We do three things here on offense,” ‘Thomas said. “We hand the bal to Emmitt, we pitch the ball to Emmi, and we throw the ball Emmitt.” AS the Gatorade Player of the Year, 100, Emmitt won an al-expenses paid trip fortwo to Super Bow! XT in Pasedena. He took Johnny Nichols along, and they stayed ina luxury hotel and really lived i up for 8 few days. More than 120 milion people ‘watched the game on TV, but there Emmitt \¥as, in person, on the floor of the Rose Bow As thrilled as he was bythe experi- cence, he was able 10 keep it in perspective Super Bowls were his destiny. “One day, he said, raring o Nichols with a look of ab Solute conviction, “I'm going to play in a ‘ame like this But first he had college, and that was Florida. Emmite broke » personal streak when he failed to start in his frst game as 8 freshman. When Gators coaches re fruited him, they had promised that he ould sar right away, and yet inthe open: er, against Miami, Emmitt found himself watching from the sideline unt the fourth (quarter. Din’ they know he din’ like to 16. etd iil. an Series ENCOUNTERS. Quests ons comms ste aplenty the you Uns. rd enter peso eect en am wes cning—you mat ay hate sce ae any ton sce Net tne eos Ants la se, wt he ig an i acer, femal ou perl ate egonlaal le al aE. PA Water Vehicleswait? Coulda’ they see what 8 hurry he was in? ‘After the game coach Galen Hall tied his best to calm,Emmitt down. Didn't want fo put f00 much pres Sure on you 100 soon, was ‘asialy what he said. Di’ want you to go losing your confidence. Emmitt didn't start the second game, against Tulsa, either, but when he go the callin the first quarter, he showed them, he showed everyboe. Emmitt gained a total of 109 yards and scored 2 cou- ple of touchdowns, one of them on a 66-yard run. Hall lethim start the third game, against Alabama, and Em- mitt responded with 224 yards and two touchdowns fand led the Gators to a 23-14 upset. No Florida player bad ever gained as any yards oa the ground in cone game, which to Emmitt sounded more like it: He was back on the fast rack, waiting for no one In Game 7, in mid-Octo- ber, Emmitt passed the 1,000-yard mark, becoming the frst runner in college football history get there that fast. “He definitely the big man around Gainesville,” says Johany Nichols, then Emmiti’s roommate, "but it never \ went to his head. He was the same Emmitt we all knew before. Humble.” ‘Emmitt decided to go pro ater his junior year. The football program at Florida was going through tough ies. Hall resigned during the 1989 season, and NCAA probation, was looming. And there was one more thing that helped Emmitt make up his ‘mind: For the first time the NFL would allow teams to draft underclassmen, and Emmitt was alock to go high “The day ofthe draft he gathered with family and friends at a beach house in Pensacola, Whenever the phone rang, Mary answered, then pase the receiver to ‘Emmi, who retreated toa bedroom and talked fr a minute before coming back out Each call carried the weight of enormous possibilty, and it racked the relatives! nerves just to hear the phone ring. Six it J I ‘Aen ly feremon ae AS THE COWBOYS FOUND OUT, THINGS GO BETTER WITH EMMITT teen players were chosen before Cowboys coach Jimmy Johnson called, Mary greet ed him with a polite but ansous helo and handed him over to Emmitt. After talking in the bedroom, Emmitt emerged with a grave expression on his face. “Well, what did he say?” somebody asked, Emmitt was quiet fora second. Then he sald, “He wanted to know if I wanted t0 wear a star on my helmet.” Everybody sereamed and hollered, and Emmitt went out by himself t0 look at th Gulf of Mexico and ponder the future. “The gate, which rolls from side to side on a track, ia litle slaw in opening bu plen- 217. L ¢ Groen Bay Packers for the @ Sing in font of the xe Tivela magum ofan: @ pagne tna sliver plate Becket, What 2 goat mea @ Jim was to do tat, Liter, when Eon sa Ti, be Tsked if Jim wanted the bucket back, The thing Tooked expensive and Ea mit wart to rake ste fel id be want an said no way, and Ema ssid “Then youl hve tome ovr when Lope the Champagne Well ener together Tite was good and ge tng beer all the tine. Em inant even 30 ye an Iieady he owned a cham apne bucket You should ERE te reord book o that one, too. 1s ual Your older crowd that own Seampagne bok omit ine 6 hse in the house all 13,00 square feet of it Theres woman be des bat ther Tmuch foo yt before by ven thnks about gen fpaied, For ow fe jo Emit and his wo Akt When they see hin drig vy vony ty scene of the font of he Kee short around and gener th ter bette an ow much they Uke hi Enomitt named them after a couple Characters ina more nobody sw “That one's Tango, and that one’s Cash the says, but he doesn’t point, soit hard tell who is who. The dogs don’t seem know either Emit walks through onwe qleeaay. Recline thanatown acl ers Dea eof So eacnrran pa TE sope Ove sop aught spa desetten ctl cree ‘eum oron cones eos Dalat leon where Preant Kenedll wecha reed rn be esa Book Deposton and he ray nol athe motorcade. It's all down the road a bit but he's determined to build the thing “Maybe when T'm marred and have kids he says. ‘The house is extremely clean and beau tifa. Emm could stick a sgn in the yard that says LIFE ar Tx TOP and sel tickets to sightseers and pay off the mortgage right, there. He goes tothe dea, where pictures ‘of his family stand in large frames. There are his three brothers, his two sisters ‘There's Mary. There's his dad. And there's Emit with Roy Jones J the super mi dieweight champion. Jones is from Pen ‘acola,f00, and the two of them have been fiends for years. People hack home areal ways teling Emmi: that Roy di this and Roy id that for Pensacola and tht Roy till, lives in Pensacola. Emmitt says, “But my ‘work sin Dallas. Ihave to live here. cant play the Super Bow in Pensacola, can 17” But that isnt explanation enough. They sill, take their swipes “Lhonesty believe people in Pensacola will not be happy until I fall at on my face,” Emmitt says, in a rare dark mo- iment, He hardly ever gets back to his hometown, Four or five days a year, maybe ‘Once when he was there he went out t0 a club, and one of his old pals from high noo joined him, and ater awhile the old friend tured to him and said, “Emmi, ‘can Ihave your autograph?” The guy had ‘one of those looks, too, as if he had just slimpsed heaven and wanted to snatch a puff of cloud. And the look, coming from ' fiend, irritated Emmitt no end. “Man, what do you need my autograph for?” he said. “You know me better than anybody in here.” “Shoot, you're a superstar.” Emmitt’ buddy sai. “T'm Emmitt, We played tall tether. ‘You've been in my house.” "Yeah," the py said, “but youve been on Arsenio Hall” They talked on for a while, Emmitt growing more depressed by the second. ‘When he gc back to his paresis! house that right, he slept on the couch in the living room, It as where he'd slept sometimes when be was a kid “You're stargazing,” ‘Emmi had told bis friend, andi all made Emmitt wonder, Isit posible to get 100 big too fast? Ifyou run way out ahead of every ine else, where does that leave you? All alone ina nightclub crowded with people, ‘one of them shoving ascrap of pape at you ‘and saying, “Sign here, Mc. Superstar”? ‘But, hey, Emmitt has moved to another room of his new house now. And you should see “This my btchen” he says. “This cost prety good. Come to think oft, somewhere berween $75,000 and $100,000. ‘Those cabinets, that's mahogany with a high gloss ontop. Check out those stools. Go ahead, pick one up. Heavy as hel, ain't ie? That refrigerator door? That's mahogany, too. See the finish?” He gives a ‘od, “Right. High gloss. “He moves from room to room and even tually makes his way upstairs. “This is my litle boy's room,” he says. ‘Your ite boy? cine 21g. 6mmitt smith itdown iscoach od hi hal tine ago. "Then isa goal” Somevhere inthe at ofall hat srbling ost nthe um tees, was the place to which Emmi was Tend the or today, he goes though a gas Sor and sand tide o he bal tony ts geting late, and the shadows fre long, ed the view wall manner of iovely You ean ace Emmis barbecue tnd smoker down the ight Sigh EMMITT HAS MADE A PLACE FOR FIMSELF IM THE DEEP END OF THE TALENT POOL “Wel, when Ihave a litle boy In the game room he pauses before an enormous fish tank and bends over, staring through the glas. “Some of these things in here," he says “they look dead, but they're not.” He points 10 a fluttering wisp of something on 8 rock. “Now that—yes, that isa skeleton, Ifit looks dead, is because In spite of everthing that a new house ‘demands and all that this one has to offer, [Emmitt stil ges restiesson oceason. How long can you look at fish?” How many movies can you watch? Itwas on one suck night that he rounded up the pen andthe piece of paper and compared his numbers with Payton’. It's a desam antl you write Reprinted From: Sports Illustrated, 7/1196 head, ozezpying& big chunk ofthe ba yard, is Emmitt's swimming pool. I°s a litle cold 10 go fora dip, but the poo sin perfect shape, a dream. And. wat, what's hat down there on the bottom? Emits leans over the rail o get a bet- terlook, “Oh,” he says. “That's friend of mine.” The image is made of blue and whit es, and though it lacks the precision of a snapshot. i's so familiar that even 20,000 gallons of water can't distor it Bursting through a Cowboys star, kick ing aknee high. Emmitt, the ball tucked agsinst his body fr safekeeping. He's run- fing, of course, running forthe goal line, running for the victory, running as if 0 forever .