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MOTIVATION

Stephen C. Rafe

© 2003, Stephen C. Rafe. All rights reserved.

Notice: All material in this document has been previously copyrighted
 and indvidual notifications are available on file.

LET MASLOW HELP YOU MOTIVATE OTHERS

What actually motivates people? You have seen the lists so we all know that money is not a
powerful motivator: Employees assume they will be paid for their work. To better understand
what truly works, we need only go as far as Abraham Maslow and his Hierarchy of Needs.
Decades ago, he demonstrated that people are motivated best by whatever is slightly out of their
reach or experience at the moment. This concept of aspirations and their fulfillment is built into
Maslow's theory.

Applying Maslow
So how can we motivate others? Let's find out what Maslow taught us. He identified five levels
of "needs" and said that people must fulfill their needs at a given level before they can advance
to the next higher one. The first two he identified are:

I. Basic -- Hunger, Thirst, Sleep, Health, Physical Well-being, and Sex; and
II. Safety -- Security, Safety, Protection, Comfort, Stability, and Neatness.

Most employees will have satisfied these two levels under normal circumstances. Naturally,
special situations ranging from company bankruptcies to sprinkler-system failures could change
that.

At level III, people seek Belonging, which includes Affiliation, Sharing, Affection, Acceptance,
Participation, and Membership. Again, under normal circumstances most employees' needs are
satisfied at this level. However, as we move up the scale, we find that "normal" depends upon
individuals' personalities and drives. As we differ, we also feel satisfaction at different levels and
in different ways.

John is quiet. He rarely interacts with others. In fact, when he's assigned to a team, he resists the
"touchy feely" aspects, as he calls them. To John, the project is everything. Jenny, on the other
hand, enjoys talking things out with others. She puts people considerations as a higher priority
than project concerns.

So, if verbal praise were your motivator, you might embarrass John if you singled him out in
front of a group to tell him he did something well. He might react by saying, "I'm just doing my
job." Jenny, on the other hand, might be particularly pleased if you praised her in front of her
colleagues. She might even use the moment to share the good feelings with the others by saying
how they also contributed.

At Maslow's level IV, Esteem, we begin to address such matters as Leadership, Achievement,
Recognition, Confidence, Competence, and Intelligence. Two of our three primary drives --
Leadership and Achievement -- occur at this level. The third drive, Affiliation, occurs back at
level III. So, Maslow tells us people's need to affiliate must be satisfied before the opportunity to
lead or to achieve can become effective motivators. Again, much depends individual
personalities.

Individuals at Maslow IV may welcome opportunities to share leadership and that's what makes
today's shared-leadership concept popular today. People at this level also like to achieve.

2
Especially, they like to be recognized as confident, competent, intelligent people. So, to motivate
people at this level, give them ample opportunities to practice their leadership skills as you guide
their success.

People at Maslow V, Self-Actualization, get reinforcement from what they do rather than from
what others do, or say about them. They like doing things that fulfill their potential. They like
challenges and enjoy being stimulated intellectually. They also like to be creative and to satisfy
aesthetic needs and interests. They are also prepared to acknowledge and accept reality.

Individuals at this level are certainly not motivated by happy-face, "Badge-a-Minit©" buttons --
or even certificates of achievement. (That's Maslow IV.) If praise is to work as a motivator, it
must come from the right source. Otherwise, they might perceive it as condescending, solicitous,
or manipulative. The right source needs to be someone whom they personally admire and respect
so that they can see the praise as a true assessment of how they fulfilled their potential.

So, your ability to motivate others depends largely on how well you know their personalities,
styles, personal needs, and ambitions. A good leader will identify these and adapt the motivators
accordingly. Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs provides a good starting point.

-- end --

3
 HOW TO MOTIVATE OTHERS
It's important know what motivates others: It's just as important to know how to motivate them.

Here are two important “rules” for motivating others:

1.) Your motivator (or positive reinforcer) must occur during, or immediately following, the
event, activity, behavior, and so on that you intend to reinforce.
2.) It must also be delivered in a way that is comfortable for, and appropriate to, the individual.

It is almost always best to critique, correct, or comment on a person's undesired behavior in

private: However, when situations call for a public response, try to take the burden onto yourself.
For example, you might say, "Perhaps I/we haven't been clear enough on _______. This is what
we'd like to have happen here. (And then go on to outline or describe what constitutes successful
or appropriate behavior.)"

On the other hand, it is almost always best to praise, reward, or reinforce positive behavior in
public. However, since some people feel awkward about being singled out for public recognition,
you should try to sense that and respond accordingly.

Take, for example, Tom, who likes positive feedback but doesn't like to stand out from the
group. Now, say, he has just done a particularly skillful job on leading his group through a
challenging task. You might, in this case, praise the team for having done so well, then look at
Tom, their team leader, with a clearly communicative expression and say, simply, "Thanks,
Tom," and then immediately comment on the specifics of what the team accomplished that
earned this recognition. Finally, if more acknowledgement is merited or needed, you can do this
in front of a larger group and say, "That's what I call good work.”

-- end --

4
 HOW THE SOURCE OF A MESSAGE
INFLUENCES RESPONSES
The age-old question of "who says what to whom, and with what outcome," takes on new
significance in motivating individuals. So say researchers Kenneth G. DeBono of Union College
and Richard J. Harnish of Michigan State University in the Journal of Personality and Social
Psychology, 1988, Vol. 55, No. 4, 541-546.

In their study, DeBono and Harnish looked at two types of individuals: High self-monitors --
people who are concerned with having their behavior comply with that of others in social
situations, and low self-monitors -- people who are guided by inner values, feelings, and
dispositions rather than by others' opinions.

They also looked at two types of information sources:

1.) Expert -- as conveyed by their knowledge of the subject and their credentials, and

2.) Attractive -- as defined by their social characteristics.

The Study
One hundred male undergraduates at Michigan State University who participated were told that
the Psychology Department was gathering students' reactions to campus issues. This session was
intended to present arguments involving a current, controversial issue -- a calendar published by
"Motion," MSU's female pom-pom squad.

Participants were randomly assigned to listen to one of two presenters: "Dr. Leonard Charles, a
nationally known, well-published research psychologist specializing in the effects of the print
media on attitudes and beliefs," or "Leonard Charles, an honors senior at Michigan State, very
active in student government and presently the chair of the MSU chapter of the Student Poll."

Both those who were classified as high self-monitors and those who were classified as low self-
monitors were assigned to random groups. Each presenter argued against the calendar. Some
participants heard strong, cogent arguments; others heard weak, specious ones.

Findings
Here's what DeBono and Harnish found: High self-monitors were more likely to oppose the
calendar after hearing the attractive source present strong arguments than after hearing him
deliver weak arguments. In contrast, the quality of the expert's arguments appeared to have little
effect on their attitudes. They still formed relatively unfavorable attitudes toward the calendar.

Low self-monitors formed significantly more unfavorable attitudes toward the calendar after
hearing the expert deliver strong arguments than after hearing him deliver weak ones. However,
those who listened to the attractive source did not appear to be concerned with argument
strength. In either situation, they formed relatively unfavorable attitude

What was behind the difference? Sources who satisfied individuals' interpersonal needs
motivated them to expend the time and mental effort to process a persuasive message
systematically. Then, if the arguments were cogent, those individuals were more likely to be
persuaded.
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Summary
Thus, if you can determine the individuals' social and interpersonal needs, match the source of
the message to the needs of the recipient, you will be more likely to motivate them to expend the
time and cognitive energy to scrutinize, react to, and evaluate the source's arguments. Then, if
your arguments are strong, these individuals will be persuaded.

When individuals process a message heuristically, however, there seems to be no relationship

between their thoughts about the message and any attitude changes they might experience. So, if
your arguments are not strong, or when you need only a short-term effect, you might want to
encourage heuristic, or peripheral, processing.

In a phone conversation, Dr. DeBono summarized his findings this way to show how they might
relate to the work of those whose job it is to persuade others:

When dealing with affiliation-oriented people (high self-monitors), use an attractive source when
your arguments are strong; an expert source whether your arguments are strong or weak.

When dealing with low self-monitors, use an expert source only when your arguments are strong.
Use an attractive source whether your arguments are strong or weak (but anticipate that the
effects won't last long and that there will be no resultant changes in the individuals' behavior).

-- end --

6
 HOW TO USE PERSUASION
Have you ever tried to influence someone to do something your way or believe something you
believed? If so, you have used persuasion. It's an honorable form of communication -- as long as
you don't use it to try to deceive the other party. Then, it becomes manipulation.

People will only be persuaded when they like something about the other person or they like
something about his or her "argument" or presentation. On the other hand, people don’t “buy”
from those they don’t like – at least not for long. You might be persuaded to take the campaign
literature of an election worker on the street, but if you don't like the candidate, you may drop it
in a trash can a block later.

Practical Techniques
In his book, Influence -- The Psychology of Persuasion (William Morrow, New York, 1984),
Robert B. Cialdini describes six ways persuasion can take place: Consistency, reciprocation,
social proof, authority, liking and scarcity.

Consistency – People want others to consider them as being consistent with their previous
actions or positions. They also want to be seen as being decisive, clear, singular of purpose, and
competent. Thus, they will respond best to persuasive efforts that remind them of any of these
traits.

Reciprocation – There are several variations of this. For example, if you give someone permis-
sion to take your favorite CD on vacation, it may be hard for you to say no when they ask you to
borrow your videotape of a rare, out-of-print film later on.

Another variation is what I call the rule of social obligation: When the VFW member gives you
a paper poppy, you somehow feel you should at least come up with a handful of change -- even
though you don't even want the poppy.

Still another variation is the concept of "giveaways" at trade shows and even at community
events. Even when the freebee is just a trinket such as a key ring imprinted with the organi-
zation's name and address, the giver's hope is that you will remember him or her favorably.

There's one more. Call it the rule of lesser concession. It works this way: Someone asks you to
do something significant that you choose not to do. Rather than accept your “no” and move on,
they say something like this instead: “If you won’t do ______, would you at least do ________?”
It often works.

Not Universal -- The rule of reciprocity doesn't work with everyone. When an associate in
another organization wanted to borrow a piece of audio-visual equipment a few years back, a
colleague gave him permission without checking with me. Her logic was that "now he owes us
one." Instead of feeling indebted, he merely came back again when he needed to borrow
something else.

Social Proof –Infomercials provide hard evidence of social proof at work as a persuasive tech-
nique. We may know that the sponsor hires the people posing as audience members. Yet we
often allow ourselves to be influenced by the degree to which they applaud and accept their
actions as being appropriate.
Authority – People who experience a sense of duty or obligation to others can frequently be
persuaded to change their beliefs or take actions. Often they respond to suggestions that go
beyond even that which seems appropriate. “Just do as you’re told and don’t ask questions”
reflects the controlling principle behind the techniques – and a startling number of people do
precisely that.

Liking – People “buy” from those whom they like, who like them, and who are like them. You
can use the technique by first establishing a rapport with anyone you wish to persuade or get
others to do so.

Scarcity – Beanie Babies. Tickle Me Elmo. Want it but can’t get it? If we think something's
going to be scarce, we frequently give it more value. Consider how many of us have responded
to ads that announce “limited quantity” and ended up buying something more expensive because
the advertised item was sold out.

Good or Evil
Each of these techniques has power. Whether persuasion is ethical or fair depends upon how it's
used. Just as the penknife in one’s pocket can be used to save a life or take a life, persuasion can
be used for social good or social evil. Perhaps our best approach to persuasion is to do unto
others in the same ways as we would like to be treated.

-- end --

8
RAPPORTCOMMUNICATIONS
© Stephen C. Rafe. All Rights Reserved.

SAMPLING OF INFLUENCES
THAT GOVERN PERSUASION
Spokesperson

attractiveness

expertise

Argument

strong

weak

Material

of high perceived value

of little perceived value

Listener

strong affiliation drive

independent problem-solver

Listener's processing method

analytical (logic)

heuristic (feelings)

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 HOW TO USE PERSUASION

Before we learn how use a technique, we must first understand what it is. For our purposes, I
have defined persuasion as the art or skill of getting others to accept a belief or carry out a course
of action. How do we go about doing that? According to the dictionary, we can ask urgently,
beg, implore, or plead. And when those don’t work, we can try supplicating.

What It Does
Implicit in the term is the understanding that the person who does the persuading will succeed in
giving others a reason to accept a particular belief or act in a certain manner. Doing so
communicates a form of motivation, as contrasted with manipulation, which carries with it an
implied intent to influence others for the purpose of deceiving them. So those who say they have
been persuaded against their will may actually be saying that they have been manipulated rather
than motivated.

What causes persuasion to occur? What makes it happen? Is it achieved through the words and
body language used? Does it require the foundation of a trusting relationship before it can work?
Are there skills involved? Are there specific techniques or methods one can apply to persuade
others?

All these questions, and others, are valid, indeed. For it turns out that even the most widely
circulated books that contain “persuasion” in their titles have either circumvented the subject or
have talked about it in a way that did not lead to greater understanding.

What We Know
First, people will only be persuaded when they want to be. They allow themselves to accept,
reject, or tolerate an idea or action when one or both of these factors are present: They like
something about the other person, or they like something about his or her argument.

When the head of a small firm decided to lease a new copier, he went to several different office-
supply stores to shop features and price. However, he ultimately signed the deal with his regular
copier service provider -- even though the machine he selected would cost more than similar
copiers he had seen elsewhere. His reasoning was this: He knew this technician and found him to
be dependable. He felt he seemed to care about the business owner's best interests. For example,
the technician would recommend cost-saving approaches to repairs, tell the owner about
upcoming deals on supplies, and he was always pleasant and yet unobtrusive when he was there
to work on the machine.

Conversely, people don’t “buy” from those they don’t like – at least not for long. They also don’t
“buy” into a viewpoint or course of action they find unacceptable – at least not for long. When
my colleague, Lou, decided to get new carpeting for his company's office, he based his buying
decision on price, alone. The vendor he chose was part of a local chain. The salesperson tried
several times to move him up to a more-expensive grade, but Lou resisted. The salesman tried to
sell him on a more-costly padding, but again Lou resisted. The salesman tried charging him for
delivery, but Lou resisted that, too.

Having been put on his guard, Lou asked for and received a sample of the carpeting to take back
and "live with" for a few days before confirming the order. He made certain the grade, maker and
style were clearly on the carpeting he ordered. When it was delivered, Lou was there to inspect
the rolls. His caution paid off: The carpeting on the truck was a cheaper grade, which Lou had
10
seen and rejected. The delivery person offered Lou two options: Return the carpet and wait four
weeks for the right grade to be shipped, or accept what was on the truck for a lower price.

Lou needed the carpet because he had scheduled an important client for the next week: The
deliveryman said Lou would have to call the store to determine the adjustment. On the phone, he
might as well have been haggling in a camel market. Finally, he and the store manager arrived at
a price. Lou was told he could let the installer put down the carpet and come into the store the
next day to receive an adjustment check.

When he arrived, the manager wasn't there and no one else was authorized to refund the
difference. Two days later, the manager was also not there. A week later, he was told the
manager had been transferred and there was no record of the agreement. Lou tried to track him
down to no avail. Finally, through Lou's persistence, an area manager agreed to meet him at the
store the following week. Now, nearly a month had gone by. At the store, the area manager said
he was authorized only to issue a store credit. Lou refused and the area manager tried to get him
to sign a form to that effect.

Sensing that the company had been through this routine enough times to have a form ready, Lou
refused to sign it out of concern that it might somehow deprive him of his rights to collect. It
took the threat of small-claims court for Lou to finally collect the $475 due him. The check was
signed by the original store manager who miraculously reappeared. Lou noted the bank on which
the check was drawn, picked up the manager's phone, and confirmed that sufficient funds were
available in that account. Then he went directly to the bank and cashed the check. Lou has told at
least 50 people this story and the store, itself, now sells carpeting under a new name.

The lesson here is that those who buy from someone they don’t know or don’t like, or buy into
an argument or action they don’t agree with, have been manipulated, not persuaded.

Say you have read good things about the new Hondozo sports car, and have had good
experiences at the maker’s local dealership in the past. However, if you don’t have a rapport with
the salesperson, or should you find the price is out of your range, you won’t be persuaded to buy
against your own will. However, car dealers are known for their skill at getting you to like the
salesperson, for easing your mindset into accepting a higher price tag, and so on. That’s why
many states have a cooling-off period to protect purchasers of many large, costly items: They
know that customers can be manipulated momentarily and then want to change their minds later
when they realize what has happened.

Robert B. Cialdini describes six categories of interactions in which persuasion can take place. In
his book, Influence -- The Psychology of Persuasion (William Morrow, New York, 1984),
Cialdini describes these as consistency, reciprocation, social proof, authority, liking and scarcity
and says that self-interest is a given in each one. Here is my interpretation of each and examples
of how to apply them.

Consistency – People want others to see them as being consistent with actions or stands they
have taken in the past. They also want to be seen as being decisive, clear, singular of purpose,
and competent. Thus, they will be more responsive to persuasive efforts that remind them of any
of these traits -- all of which contribute to the perception of consistency. When Margaret wanted
to persuade her boss to sign her purchase order for a new desk, she used this attribute to persuade
her in this way: "You know, Betty, it was good of you to okay Shirl's request for a new chair last
week. Her old one was really getting rickety. As a matter of fact," Margaret added, "my desk is
also on its last legs -- so to speak." Attempting to inject a little humor also reduces the stress of
the moment. "Perhaps," Margaret continued, "I might get you to sign off on a replacement for me
11
as well." Notice that Margaret's asking for a desk, not just a chair, but she uses "also" and "as
well" to appeal to her boss' inherent desire to be seen as consistent.

You can do as Margaret did any time you need to persuade others to be consistent with their
previous behavior.

Reciprocation – People don’t like to be in the debt of others. So, if I give you permission to take
my favorite CD on your vacation, you may be hard-pressed to say no when I ask you to let me
borrow your videotape of a rare, out-of-print film when you return. So, if you want to persuade
others to do something for you, first give or lend them something.

Robert's organization has booths at a lot of trade shows and he learned how to use this technique
to persuade others to become his customers. Most exhibitors give booth visitors freebees, so that
in itself is not unique. Usually these are something such as key rings imprinted with the
exhibitor's name and address. Often, they're just left in a fishbowl so anyone can take one as they
pass by.

Robert, on the other hand, added a twist that made a difference: His prospects would perceive his
give-away as having value. Furthermore, he added to its importance by the way he offered it. He
would make eye contact, greet each person, and say, "We've put together a brief set of guidelines
on how to (a topic of importance to his prospects) and I'd like you to have a copy."

As booth visitors looked at the handout, Robert would look at their badges and ask them
something about their organization, or the state they were from, or even how to pronounce their
names. In doing so, doubled the value of his "gift" by treating his visitors, themselves, with
value. From the day Robert initiated this approach, he increased his leads and sales beyond
anyone's expectations.

The rule of reciprocity doesn't apply to all people, by the way. When an associate in another
organization wanted to borrow a piece of audio-visual equipment a few years back, a colleague
gave him permission without checking with me. Her logic was that "now he owes us one."
Knowing the individual, I predicted, accurately, that instead of feeling indebted, this colleague
would only come back again when he needed to borrow something else.

A variation of this technique is what I call the rule of social obligation: When the VFW member
hands you a paper poppy, you somehow feel you should at least come up with a handful of
change – even though you didn’t ask for the poppy and probably don’t even want it.

Yet another variation is the rule of concessions: It works best when someone asks you to do
something significant that you choose not to do. Rather than accept your “no” and move on, they
say something like this instead: “If you won’t do ______, would you at least do ________?”
How can you use this in your work? Need someone to take on a piece of your next project? Ask
them first to head the entire project. Then when they try to beg off, ask them to handle just a
small, but important, piece of it.

Social Proof – Infomercials (or advertorials, if you prefer) give us hard evidence of social proof
at work as a persuasive technique. Even though we are well aware that the people posing as
audience members are in the employ of the sponsor, we tend to give validity to their reactions to
the advertiser’s product. The degree to which they perform a particular response influences our
perceptions that this behavior is both appropriate and correct.

12
When people call in to your favorite home shopping channel and rave about a product, they
influence countless viewers to order that product – even when the callers are paid. Once in New
York City, I was moving with the crowd down a flight of steps in the subway when I saw a man
jump off the platform to retrieve something that was rolled in paper. He appeared desperate, the
train’s light loomed in the distance, and the man couldn’t reach his leg high enough to get back
on the platform. Everyone ignored him in what can only be described as “social apathy”
according to Cialdini. I shoved my way through the crowd, reached down, grabbed his arm and
began to pull. Instantly, at least three other people took action and helped pull the man back up
on the platform. They had responded to social proof that their action was appropriate.

You can use this "bandwagon" or "everybody's-doing-it" technique anytime you need to
persuade someone to join in. For example, one firm used this method after they decided to cut
the costs of cafeteria labor by having all employees return their trays and trash to a disposal bin.
Rather than put out a directive to cease leaving the trays on the tables, the firm's senior partners
set the precedent by carrying and clearing their own trays. Soon, everyone was doing it, and not a
word had to be said.

Authority – People who experience a sense of duty or obligation to organizations or individuals

can be persuaded to change their beliefs or take actions. Often they will go beyond even that
which would seem appropriate. “Just do what you’re told and don’t ask questions” reflects the
controlling principle behind the techniques – and a startling number of people do precisely that.

It should come as no surprise to those who have served in the military that the technique works.
The Vietnam veteran who initially refused to shoot a child as ordered was persuaded to do so in
the future when his lieutenant fired instead, setting off the explosives hidden under the child’s
clothing. The pattern for unquestioning obedience has been well set for centuries. Was not
Abraham willing to plunge a dagger into his son’s heart merely because God ordered it? Do not
many of us accept “doctor’s orders” without offering any more than respectful questioning --
often even when the very lives of those we love are at stake?

If you plan to use the authority technique to persuade, be certain that others perceive you as
placing their, or the organization's, best interests foremost. Rather than take the position of "Do it
because I said so," try to communicate the concept of "Do it because it works" or because it's
right.

Liking – People “buy” from those whom they like, who like them, and who are like them. Thus,
the success of in-home, product “parties” for friends and neighbors is far more certain that the
success of an unknown salesman pushing the same piece of plastic in the same home. After all,
the hostess likes you, you like her, and, as a friend, you probably share many similarities.

A while back, an exclusive country club was due to open but found that their sales were low. So
they made it attractive for some well-known, well-liked (and also socially and physically
attractive) people in the area to join the club. Once they became members, they were exposed to
several of the other techniques mentioned on the way to becoming persuaded to “share their
enjoyment” by providing names of friends who might join. Armed with the “attractiveness
factor,” the club’s managers sold out its membership within six weeks.

You can use the liking principle by establishing a rapport with those whom you need or wish to
persuade -- or getting others to take on the persuasive role if they have a higher level of rapport
with your prospects.

13
Scarcity – Beanie Babies. Tickle Me Elmo. Need we say more? Want it but can’t get it? “It’s
value is probably going to increase,” you think to yourself. Given the possibility of a shortage or
scarcity, you’ll probably assign even more value to it. Did you ever respond to an ad that
announced “limited quantity” only to find that the model advertised had been sold out? Did you
then find yourself wanting it, or something like it, so much that you were then willing to pay
more for a similar item that was “better” in some way?

How can you use this technique? One way would be to parse out your talents and services in a
frugal way. Without being perceived as uncooperative, you can still avoid "giving away the
store." People place a higher value on those who are not always available to do their every
bidding.

Likes and Differences

Each of these techniques has power. However, when they are used to manipulate rather than
motivate, they can lead to backlash once the person who was “persuaded” recognizes what has
taken place. To paraphrase the old cliché, all of these techniques can persuade some of the
people some of the time, but not one of them can persuade all of the people all the time – or even
some of the time.

The reason? We all process information differently. Some of us think logically most of the time;
others tend to process primarily through feelings. Some respond best to authorities who provide
facts and figures as proof or evidence; others respond better to those whom they find to be
attractive or friendly and who present anecdotal examples to support their case. Some people
turn inward to work out decisions; others go along with what the group says or thinks.

Despite other differences, most people will consider the value of the idea, product or service as
an important criterion for their decision. For example, you are more likely to decide in favor of
the person trying to persuade you if the matter is low-risk and involves low-stakes. However, this
may not end the matter or free you from further vulnerability. Recall that when you say “yes” to
a small favor, the rule of consistency leaves you open to being moved toward a “yes” response to
a more significant matter.

In fact, good persuaders study their audiences carefully to determine which techniques are most
likely to work initially. Then, as the conversation or presentation moves forward, they monitor
their audience members’ responses and shift techniques accordingly.

Is persuasion ethical? Fair? Just as the penknife in one’s pocket can be used to take a life or save
a life, the concept of persuasion can be used for social good or social evil. Only its use
determines its value to humankind.

Establishing Rapport
Tom Rusk talks about the power of the Golden Rule and the importance of feelings as the basis
for all relationships in his book, The Power of Ethical Persuasion (Viking, New York, 1993).
Certainly, the affinity or “liking” concept is important to any persuasive effort that hopes to
succeed. We know that people like others who listen to them without judging them, who share
their own views without imposing them, and who leave room for people to make up their own
minds when presented with an idea or a product. We also know that persuasiveness is at its best
when the person doing the persuading is ethical, credible, and sincere.

Much of this is conveyed through body language, word choices and voice tones – especially
when the encounter is brief and there is little time to get to know the individual well. Noelle C.
Nelson’s book, Winning! Using Lawyers’ Courtroom Techniques to Get Your Way in
14
Everyday Situations (Prentice Hall, Paramus, NJ, 1997), emphasizes using all three to stir and
use others’ emotions, and get your message across. She also talks about building credibility by
admitting to some weaknesses at some levels. She says this anticipates and heads off the
potential strength of any possible attack on one’s position. She also notes that asking rhetorical
questions is a good way to involve others in the development of one’s argument, and that it’s
advisable to use tangible, specific terms to tell others exactly what it is that you “expect” them to
do – particularly in stressful or crisis situations.

Defining Terms
Recall that Webster’s dictionary says that to persuade is to win others over to a belief or course
of action by argument or by asking urgently, begging, imploring, pleading, or supplicating. Now,
the remaining question is: To what end?

It may be that, in the final analysis, the Golden Rule is the right way, that feelings are
fundamental, that empathy is essential, and that effective verbal and non-verbal communication
skills are imperative. It may also be essential that compromising and accepting less than a whole
loaf are appropriate to long-term relationships as well as to short-term gains. Perhaps one can
create trust by building rapport, by admitting weakness as a way to disarm, by asking rhetorical
questions to guide others’ thinking, and to be specific and precise in guiding others into the
decisions you would like them to make.

However, at best, persuasion is a rather risky business. Nonetheless, it is happening all around
us, all of the time. So, we have an obligation to understand what it is and recognize it when it’s
occurring. Beyond that, we also have a responsibility to deal with persuasion in ways we find
acceptable, and use it ourselves only for social good.

-- end --

15
 IF ATTITUDE ISN'T EVERYTHING
IT SURE BEATS WHATEVER'S SECOND BEST

If attitude isn't everything, it sure beats whatever's second best. It's true: Organizations that
excel, the ones that get the results they are looking for, all seem to have one common
denominator: The people within them have a healthy attitude.

What Creates It
How does it come about? How can you clone it? Such groups' members either helped shape the
organization's vision or they bought into it when they joined. They believe the group's goals are
both realistic and achievable, along with challenging. Through countless small successes, they
have built a cultural self-esteem -- a self-confidence that enables them to feel good about where
they have been, where they are, and where they're headed.

As a result, they believe that progress is natural. They believe they are competent and can
contribute to a successful venture. Just as important, they believe that the other members believe
it, too. As a result, they have a healthy attitude toward themselves and each other and this
generates more of the same. Success begets success.

The Role of Vision

The most successful organizations start with a vision, and they keep it before them constantly--
especially in difficult times. When I worked with Johnson & Johnson shortly after they had
learned of a death related to Tylenol, their executives had already, and immediately, referred to
the company's Guiding Principles' statement for guidance.

Its first principle placed the public interest above all else. Swiftly and in complete accord, the
executives had pulled the product from the market: They restored it only after ensuring the
product's safety -- even to the point of developing tamper-evident packaging. Today, Tylenol
remains a highly regarded product and J&J, a highly respected company.

Be Something
As the German philosopher and writer Goethe, said: "Before you can do something, you must be
something." Successful organizations know what they stand for, and put their beliefs into
practice. They value each human being for his or her contribution to the enterprise. Whether they
are dealing with a customer, or supplier, or vendor -- leaders of successful organizations treat
others with dignity and respect.

Clarity and Confidence

This attitude establishes the climate for the organization's success, and it's interrelated with all
else. Clear objectives, clear commitments, clear working relationships, clear understanding of
each other's role in the organization's success -- all contribute to the leaders' confidence and
feeling of worth. In this environment, leaders are more relaxed; more comfortable in their roles.
It's also this attitude that enables members -- the "followers" if you will -- to support their
leaders, to enable them so that everyone does well and enjoys their part in that success.

Positive Thoughts
By working with and through one another for the benefit of all -- we nourish a sense of team. We
develop a mature inter-dependence with one another. We spend more time thinking abut what we
can do to help our organization succeed, rather than what we might not like about it.
Compliments replace complaints. We become players rather than critics. We look for ways to
16
contribute to what becomes our own success. We seek new, creative answers to the question:
How can I help this organization, and its leaders, succeed?

Feeling Good
When people genuinely feel good about where they are and how they can help, they also feel
good about who they are and how they are -- as individuals and as team members. In healthy
organizations, members value one another and it shows. Members feel free to tell their leaders
what they like, expect and need from membership. They find positive, constructive ways to let
their leaders know what isn't working for them. And, they come forward with suggestions and
offers to help.

Respecting and Protecting

In their meetings and other contacts, leaders in these organizations help ensure that all actions,
comments, and behaviors reflect the kind of organization they are and want to become. As role-
models, themselves, they set the example for others to follow. They help members recognize and
appreciate one another's contributions. Especially, they safeguard each person's rights --
including the right to disagree, to take a different view, and even to be "wrong."

Attitude Equals Success

Does a great attitude produce success? Or does success produce a great attitude? We needn't
wonder any longer: The two go hand in hand. Both are essential and build upon one another.
We need not be a Pollyanna to have this philosophy succeed for us. We all know life has its ups
and downs. It's how we respond that makes the difference. Successful people, like successful
organizations, rely on a positive attitude to turn adversity into opportunity.

When little Whitey Ford faced the "big bat," Frank Howard in the World's Series, he summoned
up his positive attitude to strike Howard out. He later told an interviewer his only thought as he
faced the 6-foot, five-inch Howard was this: "Wow! Look at the size of that strike zone!" Now,
that's a positive attitude!

-- end --

17
 TIPS FOR A SUCCESSFUL ATTITUDE

These tips can help organizations and individuals develop a successful attitude:

* Think only positive, constructive thoughts. Look for the bright side.
* Dispose of negative thoughts immediately.
* Avoid and discourage gossip. Address problems, don't attack people.
* Take problems to those who can help solve them.

* Look for the good around you and try to role-model what you see.
* Remind yourself of what you feel good about.
* Build a positive attitude one small step at a time.
* Move from one success to the next.

* Know where you're going and where you want to be.

* Strive to make a difference in your life and others.
* Show consistency, reliability.
* Be a friend. Treat others as you want to be treated.

* Express appreciation and understanding.

* Be a possibilities thinker. Consider options and alternatives.
* Try to help make the world just a little bit better each day.
* Be alive. Be vital. Be courageous. Be needed.

18
Excerpted from Innovative Leader

YOUR LEADERSHIP ROLE IN TEAMWORK

By: Stephen C. Rafe
© 1997, Stephen C. Rafe. All Rights Reserved.

In many ways, you are the anchor for your team as well as its leader. Your position brings with it
a high level of responsibility and accountability. It also provides a great opportunity to contribute
to the organization's success in ways far beyond the application of your management and admin-
istrative skills. You are in the best position to help the group fulfill its objectives.

Part of your job is to help the team plan, build them into a cohesive working unit, motivate its
members, including yourself, adapt your personal style to the team's needs and preferences, and
communicate effectively. Let's look at each of these five skills:

Planning
Actively help them anticipate their future, set goals and objectives, and develop a plan that will
get them there. Help them concentrate on tasks that will drive the team’s goals and objectives
while avoiding distractions. Another important part of your job is to help each of the team’s
specialists perform effectively and integrate their particular skills with those of the other
members.

Planning also includes scheduling time with one or more team members to learn how well they
are fulfilling expectations. Doing so enables you to remain current on all aspects of the project
and consider input from all sources and angles. This timely information is critical to knowing
whether to stay on the same path or shift gears.

Teamwork
Members of good teams worth together interdependently to lighten one another’s load and to
make work more pleasurable. You have to consider yourself not just team leader, but team
member.

One key purpose of most teams is to help the organization focus on specific objectives and help
bring about and build a consensus within their area of responsibility. Good teams also contribute
to improved communication and understanding. By working together toward common goals,
they have the opportunity to help foster camaraderie, improve productivity, and increase
members' commitment to the recommendations they make and the actions they take.

Motivating
As team leader, your members need your motivational skills both with the team as an entity, and
with each of its members as individuals. Successful motivators know that good workers respond
better to carrots than they do to sticks. However, much bad information continues to circulate
about what actually motivates and what doesn’t. You have seen the lists: money ranks low,
listening is high -- that kind of thing.

Be aware of differences in personalities and individual drives. Different people’s needs are
satisfied at different levels, and in different ways. For example, John is quiet, keeps his own
counsel, and rarely interacts with others. In fact, he’s admittedly not comfortable with all the
“touchy feely” aspects of team play. To him, the project is everything. It would seem logical,
then, that he would respond differently from Jenny to the same motivators if Jenny is outgoing,

19
enjoys talking things out with others, and puts people considerations as a higher priority than
project concerns.

If, say, your motivator were verbal praise, perhaps John might be embarrassed at being “singled
out” in front to the group to be told he did something particularly well. He might react by saying,
“I’m just doing my job.” Jenny, on the other hand, might be particularly pleased to hear you
praise her before her colleagues. In fact, she might use the moment to share the good feelings
with the others by saying how they also contributed.

The need to affiliate is a more-fundamental drive than the need to achieve or lead. It must be
satisfied -- again according to each individual’s own personality.

Team members may welcome opportunities to share leadership and that’s what makes free-form,
rotating leadership a popular concept. They also like to achieve. And they like to be recognized
as confident, competent and intelligent. Thus, here’s a sure-fire way to motivate them at this
level: Simply give them ample opportunities to practice their leadership skills as you guide them
toward actions that fulfill these criteria.

Some team members enjoy reinforcement more from what they do than from what others do.
They enjoy activities that enable them to fulfill their potential, to do things for the challenge, to
be stimulated intellectually, to be creative, to satisfy aesthetic needs and interests, and to
acknowledge and accept reality.

These people are certainly not candidates for a happy-face, “Badge-a-Minit©” button reward --
or even a certificate of achievement. In fact, if the wrong person praises them, they may perceive
the effort as condescending or even an attempt at being manipulative.

So, as you can see, motivating others effectively depends largely on your knowledge of each
individual as well as his or her personality, style, ambitions, and personal needs.

Adapting Your Style

You are unique; you have specific skills that address your organization’s perceived needs and
attracted its leaders to hire you. You also have a style of working with others that most likely has
become an established pattern in your life. To the extent that your style of doing things fulfills
the needs of the organization and its members, you will be successful. To the extent that it needs
some fine-tuning, the good news is that you can change as long as you: 1) desire to change, 2)
acquire new “tools” to help get the job done, and 3) have the opportunity to use those tools.

Communicating
Effective communication brings life and meaning into all we do. Effective communicators spend
at least 50% of their time listening, 30% helping others express their views more clearly, only
about 10% of their time telling others what they think, what to do, or how to do it -- and the other
10% wondering how to do it better next time.

A good leader listens "care-fully," that is, with care and fully. Once you signal through your
words, voice tones, body language, and facial expression that you are ready to listen, show
patience as the speaker expresses himself or herself. Do this no matter how long it takes the other
person, and regardless of the importance or priority you may assign to the subject. Spend an
extra minute now to listen care-fully, and you may help avoid most of the conflict or potential
conflict that might otherwise occur when “nobody listens.”

20
Earn team members' trust by remaining open, non-defensive, and nonjudgmental to whatever
they say. When supervisors ask you to take actions or positions on behalf of the team, be sure
you agree only to what you can deliver appropriately. Go out of your way to provide members
with both scheduled and informal opportunities to give you input and feedback. Doing this helps
maintain a balance of two-way communication: When you have listened to them; they will be
more likely to listen to you.

-- end --

21
 * TEAM-BUILDING

STAGES OUTCOMES SKILLS__________________________

(Team Development) (Tasks/Relationships) Transactional Transformational
(Management) (Leadership)
_____________________________________ _______________ _______________

1. Awareness Commitment/acceptance Getting Acquainted Values clarifying

Goal setting Visioning
Organizing Communicating

2. Conflict Clarification/belonging Active listening Flexibility

Assertiveness Creativity
Conflict manage- Multi-faceted
thinking
ment

3. Cooperation Involvement/support Communication Light-spiritedness

Feedback Individualizing
Affirmation Networking

4. Productivity Achievement/pride Decision-making Multi-cultural

awareness
Problem-solving
Rewarding
Mentoring/Tutoring

5. Separation Recognition/ Evaluating Celebrating

Satisfaction Reviewing Bringing closure

*Based upon Pfeiffer's "A Model of Team Building"

22
 HOW TO TURN DEBATES INTO DISCUSSIONS

You feel the conversation becoming tense: You hear it in the other person's voice tones and sense it in his
body language. You'd do anything possible to head off the brewing hostility, other than back down. So
how do you maintain control over your own words and emotions to head off a "debate?"

Under stress, we tend to take shorter breaths and tense up. Each can cause the mind to respond with
increased emotions. It's part of a natural process called the "fight/flight" syndrome. It prepares us to
handle what the mind perceives as a threat. So, the first step is to remember to breathe. The second is to
relax our bodies. The third is to shift our focus away from how we feel about what the individual is doing
and concentrate, instead, on the issue itself. Have your mind address the problem, not the person.

However, even as we shift into this mode, we need to start using words that will help turn down the heat.
For example, when someone tries to rough you up verbally through hostile body language, voice tones
and words, you don't need to try to placate them. So avoid making statements such as, "Now calm down,"
or, "You're getting out of control." Now matter how calmly you try to deliver those words, they can put
the other person on the defensive. They can also convey a "holier-than-thou" attitude.

Turning down the heat doesn't mean you have to come across as a wimp either. You can match the
challenger's emotions. Just direct your energies into constructive communication that helps you reach a
positive goal. Be assertive, not aggressive. Stand your ground but don't try to undermine or demean the
other person. So, what can you do?

Say, for example, the other person shouts at you: "You really screwed up my chances for a promotion
with that trick!" Breathe, relax your body, and concentrate on the words and what they convey. The
individual believes that somehow you may have prevented her from being promoted. Next, focus on the
facts. If you don't know what she's accusing you of, ask: "How might I have done that?" or "What,
specifically do you feel I did to cause that?"

If you know the situation, you can still question whether the outcome the individual anticipates is likely to
become a reality. For instance, you might comment: "Well we really don't know that this is likely to
happen, do we?" Or you might say, "Do you really think it's possible that your promotion depends solely
on this one situation?" Or, how about: "I doubt that something I did can affect your career. However, I'd
be glad to explain my role to your boss if that would be helpful." The key is to match the other person's
intensity, voice tones, and gestures as you focus your full energy on the issue.

Doing so enables you to come across as steadfast in your convictions and yet reasonable. You have said
what you needed to convey and done your best to keep the opportunity for dialog open. Most of all,
instead of expending your emotions on negative feelings, that drain you, you have expressed them
positively. Continue to do this whenever you have the opportunity and your confidence will continue to
grow.

-- end --

23
 HOW TO COPE WITH RESISTANCE
Part One

There are many ways to deal with resistance, objections, or opposition. One of the most effect-
ive is to ignore it. Most disagreement will die of its own accord when left alone. When it doesn't,
the personality of the person offering the resistance may be a determining factors.

Without delving into personality theory, here are some tips that will help you defuse most dis-
agreement before it becomes an issue -- techniques that will enable you to anticipate and deal
with it before it arises.

Try Understanding
First, sprinkle your presentation with statements that show "understanding." You might preface a
remark by saying "I understand how you feel about...." Or, you might set up a situation that
others are likely to bring up, then say, "I might believe that, too, if that had been my experience."
Or, you might say, "You have a right to think that, based on what you heard previously."

Throughout your talk, remain patient and keep a calm demeanor. If you display any sign of
irritation or annoyance -- especially if your "critics" are sending out negative non-verbal signals
-- opposition is even-more likely to erupt.

When people express opposition, they are really expressing their feelings -- not attacking you.
And, everyone is entitled to his or her own feelings. Believing this will enable you to take steps
to help others change their feelings on the matter.

Techniques to Try
To do this, consider:

* Substitution -- Replace one thought with another by changing the subject, by having audience
members person think about the same subject in a new way, and by talking about pleasant things.

* Desensitization -- Reduce the intensity of the feelings by asking at what level your critics
would be comfortable, or by asking them to tell you what would makes them most
uncomfortable.

* Transference -- Convert negatives to positives. For example, a traffic light may be annoying
because it causes a few moments' delay. However, the irritation fades when you can focus,
instead on how much more time would be lost, and how many lives might be lost, without it.

Types of Resistance
Acknowledge resistance as soon as you become aware of it, even if you have to interrupt
yourself (not the other person) to do so. Acknowledge critics' previous positions, or address these
positions when you see the first negative, non-verbal signals among potential critics.

Identify the differences between active and passive resistance. A passive resister may become
silent, or may walk away to avoid conflict or make a clear, but silent, statement. To pursue the
sensitive subject with them could cause them to react aggressively.

Active resisters, by contrast, might even become physically violent, although they could still
24
resist actively while remaining silent.

Moving Beyond
These techniques may help you move through and beyond resistance:

* Future Pacing -- "Once we finish our discussion, you might want to consider that point
again."

* Embedment -- "You might want to consider whether your views have changed once you have
had a chance to read the report."

You could also:

* Change the Subject -- A momentary departure may reduce the resistance.

* Offer a Benefit -- Show how compliance will pay other dividends.

* Bring Out Resistance -- Get critics to discuss every aspect of what they are resisting. Once the
most outspoken individuals are talked out, ask whether that means the resistance is absolute.

* Make Comparisons -- The pain of a hangnail pales when compared with a broken finger.

Reduce the Likelihood

In all presentations, you can reduce the likelihood that you will experience resistance just by
establishing a comfortable environment. People resist most when they stand; less when they sit.
Most when they're tired; less when they're rested. Most when they are under pressure; less when
you take the pressure off.

When people have put innumerable stumbling blocks in your path, challenge their reasoning in a
non-threatening, calm manner. One way to assess the intensity of their resistance is to ask them
directly if they oppose your ideas.

For example, you might ask: "If I understand you correctly, you want to continue things the way
they are. Does this mean you are not interested in knowing whether this proposal might be an
improvement? Am I correct in assuming that?" That response to opposition makes it extremely
difficult for any critic to maintain his or her stand.

-- end --

25
 HOW TO COPE WITH RESISTANCE
Part Two

When people have put innumerable stumbling blocks in your path, try to find out why. Question
their logic in a non-threatening, calm manner. If you believe they are resisting because they
oppose your ideas, and you want to measure the intensity of their resistance, ask them directly.

For example, you might ask: "If I understand you correctly, you want to continue things the way
they are, and you are not interested in knowing whether this proposal might be an improvement.
Is that correct?"

Just be sure to keep your voice tones friendly as you speak. For example, most people would
think you were being argumentative if you were to emphasize your words this way:

"If I underSTAND you correctly, YOU want to continue things the way they ARE, and
you are NOT INTERESTED in knowing whether this proposal might be an
imPROVEment. Is THAT CORRECT?"

Power Blocking
The technique has power because it blocks opposition, or makes it extremely difficult for any
critic to maintain it. Here's why: The first part of your response tells everyone that when critics
insist on maintaining the status quo, they admit to having closed minds.

When you follow through with "Is that correct," you hold them accountable for that position.
This is somewhat like a "forced- choice" question in which the questioner tries to get you to pick
one of two choices he or she has offered you -- even though you don't like either one. However,
this is more ethical and more likely to build a better rapport.

Other Techniques
You can also defuse opposition by dealing with objectors before they meet with you, or attend a
presentation where you are scheduled to speak. Visit with, or call, your known "negators" and
"nay-sayers" before they become members of your audience. Tell them what you will be talking
about and invite their comments. Give them a personal opportunity to air their reactions, alone,
with you. Then, in your meeting, you will have enough information to succeed in turning their
negatives into your positives before they become open issues for everyone in the room.

Invite potential critics to express their viewpoints beforehand. This may also dilute any
resistance that might have been forthcoming. When you enable them to contribute to the
decision-making process before the meeting, you may also reduce their desire to criticize you
later, or at least reduce the strength of their arguments.

A Positive Look
Resistance can lead to positive outcomes when you learn to believe that it almost always
contains within it, a benefit that just hasn't been explored. Specifically, resistance provides an
opportunity to consider things from another person's perspective. When you acknowledge the
worthiness of others' views, and realize they are also trying to contribute to the best results
possible, you diminish your personal responses to criticism and dilute its impact.

Why Resist?
Why do people resist? Perhaps because they are afraid of ideas that differ from their own. They
26
may be distrustful of others' motives. They may lack personal convictions. They may want to
avoid being told what to do. They may feel a need to prove their strength. They may fear
repercussions from authorities.

Some may resist because they are in a bad mood or bad situation, because they don't want to give
up "territory," or because they don't like something about the individual making the proposal.
(We can't please everybody). They may fear the unknown, or prefer to maintain the status quo.
Some may even believe they are being "set up" by the way you opened the presentation or
discussion.

They may have other valid reasons for disagreeing. And, let us keep in mind the most important
reason of all for remaining calm in the face of resistance: Some people may even have better
ideas.

-- end --

27
 WHY SOME PEOPLE CAN'T BE PERSUADED
Yeager Performance Model

WANT TO (Desire/Motivation)

May like status quo

E.g. Supplier or method

Becomes anxious over change

Doesn't know your story, or see things from your perspective

Other

CHANCE TO (Opportunity)

May be locked in
E.g. Contract

Lacks flexibility

Doesn't know your story, or see things from your perspective

Other

ABILITY TO (Skill/Authority)

Not in charge

Lacks budget

Lacks knowledge

Doesn't know your story, or see things from your perspective

Other

28
 WHEN LEADERS STALL

Sometimes those in leadership roles drag their feet, stall a project, bog it down, drown it in
paperwork, and frustrate others in the process. Strongly motivated by others' approval, they are
generally pleasant people who get along well with others. For the most part, they're only a
problem to those in the organization who feel it's their job to get things done.

Not Offending
It's not that decision-making is a time-consuming, complex task for them. Their reason for not
making decisions is that they hope that, through avoidance, the issue will go away. The
motivation behind this is almost always their concern about possibly offending someone.

In the discussion stages, they listen to all you have to say, they ask questions that encourage your
further input. Their faces and body language even seem to indicate agreement. However, once
you think you have their support, or even a mandate, things change. Either nothing happens or
they stifle your follow-through efforts with further questions, minor criticisms, and sometimes
even objections.

If you discuss the matter further you may seem to have achieved a resolution. However, over
time, you will find that things haven't changed. If you press for a decision, they become annoyed
with you. If you press the issue in front of other affiliators, even they may become annoyed with
you.

Three Drives
Researcher and social scientist, David T. McClelland tells us that individuals and organizations
tend to have three primary drives – Power, Achievement, and Affiliation. In any situation one of
the three will tend to dominate.
Since most work teams try to emphasize affiliation, it's easy for an achievement-driven member
to get caught in this trap. If one is not careful, frustration can lead to anger and resentment and
others may even begin to portray you as the villain for "not getting along" or for "rocking the
boat." Even the ones who might benefit from the actions you advocate may become
uncomfortable around you.

Doing What's Best

Unlike the person who agrees with everything you say because they fear your disapproval, the
ones who can't or won't make decisions usually are the way they are because they don't want to
offend anybody. They believe they are trying to do "what's best for everybody."

Among affiliators, comfort levels are generally a higher motivator than accomplishment and
success. In the process of "getting along," however, their seeming indecisiveness and inaction
often harm individuals and organizations, alike. As a result, what seems good for the majority
short term is actually detrimental over the long haul.

Approval? Or Not?
Quite often, the leader who stalls will appear cordial but non-committal. "It sounds good to me."
"Sure makes sense from here." "Let's see how it goes." To an achiever, these sound like approval
statements. Marching orders to proceed. To a staller, these are nothing more than placating
comments designed to postpone a firm decision.
Off the Hook
29
Those who practice indecisiveness seem to know that when they fail to act, the passage of time
often removes the need to make a decision. Especially where decisions are linked to a timetable,
a leader who stalls can often get off the hook by doing nothing, while appearing to be caring and
supportive. When others make decisions that affect him or her, the staller will frequently avoid
the situations for a while, until the passage of time has weakened anyone's recollection of what
was decided or how it came about.

Who's Involved
If such people puzzle you or even frustrate you, chances are you're an achiever -- someone who
wants to get things done. The chances are also good that you are younger than the average person
in your organization -- achievers usually are -- and you want results. For the record, research also
tells us the chances are good that younger achievers don't want to work long or hard at anything
to achieve those results.

Consequently, to attract and keep dynamic achievers in our organizations, we need to make firm
plans, set solid timetables, and take decisive actions. For example, when the team meets and
"decides" to put off a decision on an important matter their response might come out sounding
like this: "It sounds like a good idea. Let's look into it further."

When the achiever who proposed the idea recognizes the stall, he or she may resort to one of the
following reactions:

Pushy, Pushy -- "What are we waiting for?" John wants to ask. Yet, he knows if he presses for a
decision, he may be seen as "pushy." However, if he acquiesces, the organization will most likely
lose the opportunity.

Before he knows what happened, the achiever finds himself or herself being asked about details
regarding the project and all of its trivial ramifications. Being a good achiever, he or she then
leaves the meeting determined to gather more information. That may take a couple of weeks to
accomplish and to get everyone involved in the decision back together again. After all, stallers
certainly don't want to shoulder the responsibility alone. When the data are presented, the stallers
may offer more questions for the achiever to pursue.

In a week or so, the achiever may find that the components of the project, or the criteria for
doing it, have changed. So a new round of discussion would ensue over the merits of adapting
the proposal as it now stands. Consequently, the achiever is dispatched to find the answers to
more questions -- about more details. During that process, the project and its criteria may change
once again. In fact, it may no longer be doable.

Now, if the achiever isn't careful, he may end up shouldering the blame for not "getting back
sooner." Stallers sometimes have a way of causing this to happen. In fact, for some, it's a
polished "skill."

Steps to Take
So, when you're confronted with the person whose attitude says, "Do nothing and it will go
away," try these steps to keep your organization moving forward:

* Build a consensus of support before asking for a decision. Even then, recognize that
affiliators in public may back away from positions they have agreed to with you privately.

* Ask -- but courteously. "I sense a reluctance to make a decision here. What's at the root of the
conflict?" you might ask. Or, you might say, "I know the team would like to do what is right for
30
the membership. What is the best way to accomplish this project?" If you feel that won't work,
try this: "I understand everyone's desire to make sure it's the right decision. What do we need to
do in this case to move this forward?"

* Deal from facts. Emotions and feelings -- theirs and their concern for others' -- frequently
prevail in affiliators. Help them to address the concrete and specific details.

* Read their attitudes carefully. Stallers often shift their moods rapidly when they feel pressed.
If you see a change in posture, hear a shift in voice tones, or detect the start of any attitudinal
shift, get both of you back to an area of comfort again quickly. When stallers act from anger,
everyone suffers.

* Probe for information. Keep asking for specifics. When someone says "I'm not sure it's such a
good idea," ask what part they're not sure of. Don't prompt them: Let them tell you whether
they're referring to the cost, the concept, some other specific aspect of the project. . Help them
get to the root of their indecision by asking for whatever information you feel is missing.

* Point out values. Show why a specific decision is best.

* Set limits. Give indecisive people choices, but the fewer the better. Help them rule out the least
desirable alternatives before asking them for a final decision.

* Give feedback. When you believe you have managed to get a clear and firm decision, restate it
and ask whether you have understood correctly.

* Provide reassurance. Affiliators often need to be reminded and persuaded that they have done
the right thing by making a decision -- any decision. Frequent reassurance will help keep their
actions from unraveling as you move forward.

Value Added
Is any of this fair, justified, or even worth the effort? Perhaps, and perhaps not. Only your sense
of commitment to the success of your team can determine this. If, and when, you get tired of too
many non-decisions, lost opportunities, and the like, you can always turn elsewhere for support,
say, to a higher-ranking supervisor – and hope that he or she is also not a staller.

If you’re part of a team of volunteers, you can also consider leaving. Typically, volunteers who
are not satisfied with their experience within a group will declare that they didn't "have enough
time" for the activity or the organization, and go elsewhere. However, before you move on,
consider whether staying and working through this process might be in everyone's best interests.
It will help you gain new negotiating skills, it will help your organization achieve success, and it
will help ensure the future of the organization for everyone.

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