CHAPTERS

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Itll be fine, Empie, seriously, its a social gathering, not a military assembly. said
one Saba Pedersen, holding a huge one-dollar-for-five-pounds bag of hot chili
cheetos, which she then proceeds to dunk into a huge glass punch bowl on the
kitchen table. Really, its because she doesnt feel like cooking or spending too much
money on pizza for eleven people, and shes hoping all their guests will eat
themselves full in cheap cheetos. Plus, theyre myfriends, and I have good taste.

Cheetos? Really? You could at least be a little classy. Empie whined as he placed
his dollar store six pack of beer on the table I wouldve gotten more but I only had
ten bucks on me, sixty bottles wont last the night.

Dude, if we drink sixty bottles of beer tonight, at least five of us will wake up in the
mental and physical slammer tommorow. Saba decides shes done filling bowls with
cheetos, and sits her ass down on one of the bar stools at the kitchen. Wed prolly
steal some shit from a dollar store and get caught because we couldnt stop giggling
about the porn mags. Oh wait, thats happened before, so were not drinking sixty
bottles of beer.

Firstly: there was no need to bring that up, and secondly: you underestimate me,
sister mine. Empie laughed as he plopped down next to Saba on his special chair
(an average bar stool with two pillows duct taped to the seat- he deserved to feel tall
sometimes.)

And dont worry, even if we do run out, I got vodka. He dug into a white plastic bag
and pulled out an abnormally large, heavy bottle of semi-expensive vodka.

Ah, yes, the vodka that you almost cried over when the guy asked for I.D? Shes
about to make some mean big-sister lines about Empies height, but then she hears
the annoyingly loud doorbell. Ah fuck, I hate when we put new batteries in that thing,
its always so loud and preppy. Its like, calm the fuck down, youre a doorbell. Go get
that.
Empies confident act is shattered in an instance Oh god- theyre going to hate me
and all I got to offer is beer. And sweet jesus my hair! Do you have a beanie i could
borrow? he blurted out, pulling down on his long hair in a lame attempt at taming it.
It would normally take him a few minutes to convince himself to just call the pizza
place, so how could he jump right into a huge group of friends? More importantly- his
sisters
friends.

I said go get the doorbell, not have a nervous breakdown. Also, no, also, no, calm
down, get the door and say hi. Saba almost sighs, but doesnt, because she knows
Empiell think that shes embarrassed by him, which isnt true at all, she loves her
brother a lot, but sometimes he needs to just jump into that shit. Youll do fine, its
probably Charlotte and shes nice, remember, you met her at the library that one
time?

The one who offered me sweets? Empie did remember a redhead who had a
british accent like him and who had an odd yet comforting smell of vanilla and
flowers- oh! She also liked Andy Hurley! Yeah shes nice.. Are you sureits her?

Saba scoffs, as if shes just been offended deeply by some lowlife scum, and jumps
off her bar stool, because whoever is behind the door has now been standing there
for a minute, and she can just imagine the tense awkwardness in that hallway, it
makes her shiver. Yes, Emp, Im pretty sure I remember who I invited. Its her or
Jossie, they always get here on time.

Then she reaches the door, and instantly opens up, even though a murderer could
totally be standing on the other side, she does so anyway. Its Charlotte! God fucking
bless, maybe Emp will calm the fuck down now. Hey!

Hello! Am I late? I brought more booze, for some goddamn reason. And Doritos?
Charlotte, with her slightly faded dyed-red hair, constellation like moles, and wide
hazel eyes hoped everyone liked the Becks and BBQ rib flavour combination that
she had brought. If they didnt like it? Her brain could always throw her down that
familiar everyone will always hate you and your life choices no matter how small
they are road in response, but, on the bright side, she could always eat the Doritos
herself when she had to deal with the inevitable morning hangover headache the
size of Mars. She wobbled slightly in her heels at the thought, which she wore
because, fuck it, she was tall and she loved to be even taller.

Empie would be lying if he said the mention of Doritos didnt perk him up. Hi! He
called through the kitchen, hoping - no - praying that they were already walking
through the house, and that he wouldnt have to do that awkward 10 second wait to
see who he just said hello to.
Saba sort of regrets the decision to fill every possible bowl in the house with cheap
cheetos, because Charlotte has brought Doritos, and they clearly deserve a bowl of
their own, but its fine, they can just dump them on top of some already existing and
pre-bowled cheetos, creating a diverse chips mountain. Alright alright, Char, youve
met Emp before, Emp, youve met Char,

Sabas attention is caught by the ding of her phone, and she grabs it to check
whatever notification shes gotten. Its from Frank. She smiles and walks to the
kitchen to open the fridge, nose still down to her phone, and grab a jug of milk. She
drinks straight from it, earning her an angry glare from Empie .

Yes, weve met! Library, I had a huge bag of Skittles, we talked a lot about Fall Out
Boy, Im pretty sure you could trap small animals in all that hair youve got Empie.
Charlotte smiled. Was the hair thing rude? It was, wasnt it? Thanks brain. Thanks a
whole lot.

Yeah its... its a lot of hair Well hes doing great at this talking thing, isnt he? 5
seconds in and hes already made an idiot of himself. At least his hair covered his
flushed face.

Usually, Saba would swoop in here and save Empie from social embarrassment, but
hey, being a big sister is a full time job, and full time jobs also have smoke breaks,
and Sabas taking hers in the form of texting Frank and looking at slime videos on
Instagram while sipping on some cold milk. Truly living the good life.

Personally, I think that its really cool, it really suits you- I shouldn't have brought
more fucking booze, the fridge is the fridge is full. Parties arent my forte, she
admitted, deciding to leave the bottles in the bag and hope that someone would find
a home for it. If theres one thing people dont like at a party, its lukewarm beer.

We have room in the freezer if you want? We might have to swap the bottles around
every now and again though.

Sweet, Ill do that.

Saba doesnt realize that the two other people in the room have been
communicating, shes been so entranced in this one slime compilation- but she does
feel a small amount of pride for Empie, baby had his first social interaction all by
himself! Well, not all by himself, with Charlotte, but he didit!
She notices someone moving toward the fridge, to open the freezer, and decides
that shes been silent too long, and doesnt wanna seem rude to her guests. Or, uh-
guest. She sends off one final text before joining in on the social interactions.

sBbbabbaba
To: Frank the Hordgeheg, 20.31.
alright fucker just get here when you can

Uh.. Saba, do your other friends know about.. Empie glanced down at his body, all
5 foot of it. You know.. It was obvious he had no where near enough confidence to
say it out loud, but the look in his eyes basically said I swear to Jesus Almighty if
one of your friends calls me girl or some shit like that, I will cry.

...The
thing?

Ahh, right, yeah. Well, theyre all pretty tolerant people, Emp, Ill let them know.
Saba nods and unlocks her phone in 0.2 seconds, typing in her password code fast
and sending out a text to the iMessage group chat theyre all in.

sBbbabbaba
To; ze ol razzle drassle 20.32

Hey guys, quick heads up, Emps pronouns are he/him. If you screw em up
thats okay just correct yourself and dont do it again. Three strikes and youre
ending up with cheeto-underwear (:

Done n dusted, and dont worry, I did it, sorta, yknow, casual. She does a fun little
hand motion to display smooth and casual at Empies bad vibes.

Charlottes phone goes off and its that one tone that Owl City made, and she
responds with three enthusiastic thumbs up.

Empie opened his mouth to say thank you but was cut off by the unusually loud
doorbell, Saba was right. It was annoying Can you get it? I can answer it if you want
but I might do it wrong and Id rather not-

Yea- yeah, sure. Its probably Jossie or something, Frank seemed to be busy doing
cool kid shit, Saba puts on a fake little mimic-y voice, trying to sound like Frank and
failing hard. Then she goes for the door.
Frank was not cool, okay? He was like, the anti cool of this goddamn twenty-first
century. So he put on his hobo jacket and a pair of old boots. That will do? Who was
he trying to impress? The person that he sends Instagram slime videos to on daily
basis? Didn't think so, lol. On the way to the house he stopped to get some stuff
from the store and decided to get cheetos, because you can't go wrong with cheetos
and its rude to come empty-handed. Frank knocked three times and before he
fucking knew it, he slipped and fell flat, right on his ass, right when the doors opened.

Well, I wish I could remember some sorta cheesy pick-up line about you falling for
me, but my mind is a stammering blank, and what the hell are you doing on the
hallway floor? Looking for some change, hobo? Saba just cracks a smile, doesnt
offer him a hand up. Shes always making fun of this little shit. Hes asking for it!
What with that jacket and those gross fingerless gloves. (She owns the same pair,
but she actually cut them up herself instead of buying them from a store pre-cut, so
hers are punk rock.) She puts a hand on her hip and awaits the answer of the hobo
at her door.

"Shut the fuck up, Pedersen." Frank mumbled and got up quickly before someone
else saw him. "You know, you shouldn't be so rude to your guests, I brought fucking
cheetos and now you treat me like I'm a random paper bag you found in the trash
can.
He cried and cleaned his pants quickly.

Shit, dude! I need to refresh my fucking party etiquette here, why is everyone
bringing chips? Ive bought like fifty bags of one dollar cheetos. She shakes her
head a little bit, and helps Frank further in, putting her hand on his shoulder for a little
second to sort of push him into the goddamn room, because hes still sorta standing
in the doorway, and it would be awkward to try to close it on top of him. Emp and
Char are here, also, you got my text about Emp right? He and him, only. She points
a little bossy finger at his face, serious but playful.

"Alright, got it." Frank smiled and touched the tip of Saba's finger (she was still
fucking pointing at him) with his nose. "Show me the boy and the rose angel by the
name Charlotte." He did his lil bouncy-nervous thingy that became a bad habit.
People never took him seriously when he did that, but mentally, he was fucking five
and a half.

Saba notices the bouncy-nervous thingy, and decides to mimic the bounces, just for
a small second. Alright, lets meet them then, hobo! She doesnt really know why
she said that, it was sort of dumb and sort of unnecessarily awkward, but now shes
said it and cant take it back, oh well. They walk to the kitchen in a comfortable
silence, and see Empie and Charlotte in a heated discussion about chips.
I dont know.. Pringles are definitely one of my favourite, ready salted if you want me
to be exact, but you can never go wrong with salt and vinegar.

All Pringles. Apart from sour cream. Sour cream sucks, but at least they didnt
succumb to the pressure from everyone else and do a cheese and onion flavour.

Have you tried the new nacho cheese tortilla pringles? Theyre to die for.

Oh my gosh Im such an idiot? Why the heck did I bring Doritos and not
Pringles? Seeing Saba come back into the room with New Guy, Frank? Shed seen
pictures of him a while back, made Charlotte swivel around on the barstool.
Speaking of, woah, youve brought more crisps, Charlotte laughed. Thank you, by
the way, this can totally be my dinner. Im Charlotte, hi.

Hi, Im Empie! He gave a small wave at the boy in a jacket he could only describe
as.. hobo-y. He stopped when he realised he didnt know his name.. Jossie was it?
Or was it Frank? Swiping the thought away he noticed the large bag of cheetos in his
hands. Ill go get another bowl.

He hopped up (well- hopped down. The chair boosted his height quite a bit) from his
stool and made his way to the cupboard, stretching on his tiptoes to reach the bigger
ones on the top. Shit, gimme a hand, sis?

Jeez, its so embarrassing how Empie keeps calling her sis. But its also.. Sort of
endearing. Major little brother vibes here. Saba doesnt exactly push Empie away
from the cupboards, but she does bump her hip into him and reach up to do the job
for him. Another bowl. Even though theres like five in the living room. God damn
cheetos. Alright, nobody ever bring chips to my residence ever again.

Hey, look on the bright side: we wont have to buy our own food for like a month.
Empie snatched the bowl from Saba (yes, without saying thank you,) and put in on
the kitchen table which was rapidly running out of space. And, I finally bought
Cards Against Humanity, and I was thinking we could play it later?

"I'm in." Frank said awkwardly and grabbed one of the bowls for himself (I mean,
there was like, nine bowls, so nobody was missing out.) "Um, so. What are we
celebrating anyway, you just told me to come over." He looked at Saba, and tried to
ignore the fact Empie and Charlotte were in the room. New people, but Frank still
wasn't trying to impress anyone.
Ooh, its my uh.. My birthday in a few days. Empie chimes in, answering for Saba.
That was a lie. It was May. His birthday is in January. Well, he couldnt exactly say
My sister wants to make out with you really hard, so this is a setup plan to get you
two together. Now he would have to live with a fake birthday until dies. Fucking
great.

Oh! Frank sat up and smiled. Birthdays. Yes please. He always loved birthdays
because as a kid his mom would let him plan his own and they were always the best
thing ever.

So, oh my god, what's the theme? Is it with a theme? Or is it casual? Because thats
cute too, though Im a sucker for themed birthdays, are your parents coming? Or
like- he stopped himself because he was becoming annoying already and hes only
been there for like five minutes.

Saba finds this ramble adorable. She cranks open a fresh can o refreshing Red Bull.
In her mind, a small commercial plays, and it ends with a smooth preppy male voice
saying Sponsored by Red Bull.

In Empies head, things are quite different. Shit. Shitshitshit. Nah, it doesnt have a
theme and my parents have already come down. Saba was currently giving him the
most confused look he had ever seen. She knew for a fact that his birthday was
about 8 months away, and that their parents hadnt come down to the flat in months-
his birthday happened to be the day they had moved in. lts just a lil casual get
together that Saba.. uh, organised.

Oh. Frank frowned and went back to his sad bowl of cheetos. Well that fucking
sucks. Casual get togethers were depressing. He didnt like them because people
saw how socially dead he is and how he sucked when it came to making friends. He
only had Saba and he wasnt so sure that's gonna last for much longer. Yeah that's
cool too. I love get togethers. Frank lied with a smile.

Do you want a beer or something? Empie opened the fridge and took out a bottle, it
felt entirely too heavy, and too adult for him to be holding, he hoped Frank would say
yes, because this is a heavy, fat bottle, and Empie has small, fragile arms.

Thanks, but I dont drink. He forced a smile again, god, this was so awkward. But
he couldnt really blame himself for being afraid of drinking, right? Or could he?
Maybe he was just a pussy. Or smoke. He added quickly. Im everyones dream
boyfriend. Frank joked and looked at Saba with a smirk. Why? He didnt know.
Oh yeah, Frankies a major straight-edge. Total wuss, am I right? Shes not sure
who shes saying am I right? to, its more of a general thing, like a stand-up
comedian in his thirties, still trying to be relevant. Then she cranks open that vodka
Empie had bragged about earlier. And very gently starts pouring it into her Red Bull
can. She spills.

Right. Empie semi-nervously answers, beer bottle still in hand. Well, looks like
Empies drinking beer then. He closed the fridge and rummaged in the draw for the
bottle opener. His alcohol tolerance wasnt the best, and he got super drunk, super
quickly, but just one beer shouldnt hurt. He took a lil sip from the bottle and sat back
on his stool, relying on Saba to keep the conversation going.

Right. Saba parrots, and takes a sip of her now mixed drink. She gives the can a
little twirl, to mix the liquids, or whatever. So, Frank, whats that thingy thing you
texted me about? You got like, super mega many points on that one test? The uh-
the science thing. She waves her hand loosely in the air, she has no idea what
shes saying, but she can tell Empie needs a conversation topic. And shes a nice
sister when shes got a drink in her hand. She can hear Charlotte laughing at the
way shes described the science thingy.

Oh! Frank sits up quickly. Biology? Yes, he can talk about fucking biology. I finally
finished all my exams and now I am done with biology for this year. He put two
thumbs up like an idiot and smiled awkwardly. Great job. Saba smiles.

Oohoho, what a smart little nerd weve acquired ourselves here. So, Saba gets her
game face on, and moves over closer. Are you the kinda biology nerd that talks
about a plants cells, Her voice deepens to a more playful, naughty one. She can
practically feel Empie blushing from second hand embarrassment. Or the kind that
smokes em?

Frank laughed and shook his head, what a fucking comedian. No, for your
information, plant cells are eukaryotic cells. Or nuclear cells. Dont call em plant
cells. He smiled. And I dont smoke.

Saba has a moment of god fucking damn it, because fuck! Frank already fucking
said he doesnt smoke, god fucking shit fuck. Now shes the fucking idiot, that
repeated a fucking question in front of the cute guy. The cute smart guy. Fucking
fuck. Fuck! She quickly smiles and passes the ball on. But, erh, Char, you study
biology too right? Not as nerdy as Frank though, Im sure.
Me? Im a history person... although I have watched, like, three episodes of that new
Bill Nye show they have going on, Charlotte answered, scrolling through her phone
absentmindedly.

Aah, yeah, dude! I havent watched it yet, was gonna get high first. On- erh- nuclear
cells. Right? She looks back to Frank quickly, as if this was a quiz. Anyway, yeah.
Hes awesome. Its always nice to see an old white guy in his, what, fifties? Yeah,
an old white dude, yknow, supporting the rights and shit. Its tight. Much like!
Nuclear plant cells. Right? She gives another cheeky glance at Frank.

"Yeah. Uh, anyway, I wanted to talk to you?" Frank looked directly at Saba. Empie
starts talking to Charlotte about Bill Nyes eyebrows. Hes learning quick.

"In private if possible?" He raises an eyebrow and wipes his sweaty palms in his
jeans. Just breathe, you fucking dumbass its alright. Its Saba. (Yeah, wow, that
didn't calm him down.)

Aagh, but I wanted to weigh in my two cents on Bill Nyes eyebrows! She whines,
but one and a half seconds later, shes up and ready to walk to somewhere more
private. Uuh, She looks over to the hallway. Frank seems to be waiting awkwardly
for her to decide where to go. Probably shouldnt bring him to her bedroom. Kinda
sends the wrong message. Hallway, it is.

Frank follows her to the hallway and buries his hands in his pockets so he doesnt
look like an ape. Aaaanyway.

He sings. Uh, okay, whatever. Just wanted to ask you if youd like to.. go out
sometime? Like. To get coffee and stuff. He shrugged like it was nothing but his
brain was running around and shaking in his skull. (No, thats not possible.)

Saba cocks her head to the side. Like a puppy. She knows exactly what that means,
but decides to play the cute-card. Ah.. well. Some people would argue that, She
wags a finger around, gesturing to them both and the room theyre in.

We are out right now. Yknow, from a social standpoint. But sure. Ill let you pay for
my coffee. She does a cute little smile, and puts her hands behind her back,
gathered, like a proper cutie.

Great! Frank says and awkwardly smiles. God fucking damn it, that was close.
Thanks God she said yes because he was literally seconds away from crying.
Should we, uh, go back? I mean- That was a dumb question, Frank. Yeah, lets go
back.
Ah, yeah. Shes about to lead the way back to what is possibly still a discussion
about Bill Nyes facial hair in the kitchen area, she hears a shriek of He totally
combs that brow!.

But then she hears something entirely different: the doorbell. Oh. Thatll be, uh,
anyone. Pete maybe? Probably Jossie. How about you get another fucking bowl,
because the fuckhead has prolly brought chips, and I go get that? She points a lil
finger to the door, and nods at Frank to go to the kitchen. She doesnt wait for an
answer to go and head for the door.

Frank quickly went back to the kitchen and found another bowl, decided not to stop
the conversation about Bill Nye (the science guy! Bill, Bill, Bill-) and sat down where
he was sitting before. He took his phone out and randomly scrolled down his
instagram feed.

Sabas very happy to see the guest at the door. Jossie! Hes like, a brother, a father,
and a husband, all in one. Except, of course, the husband part. Nah, no, theyre just
extremely, extremely loving platonic partners. Which is great, because then they can
bitch about the people they have crushes on together, without it getting weird. She
instantly hugs him, super super hard. Its a thing between them, they both share a
profound love for non-awkward hugs. Hellooooo. Missed you, fucker! Its been like
five days. She pouts. What a crybaby.

Jossie doesnt seem as bothered by the five days gone by, and simply smiles down
at the fussy little kid. Shes not really a kid, shes probably one of the oldest in their
friend group. Along with Charlotte, but theyve never sat down and had a
birthday-verses. Helloo, I wasnt sure if I should bring anything, so I got some
cokes?

Jossie asks this as if hes not sure if he brought cokes or not. Saba is very pleased.
Oh my god, yes, thank you for bringing something that cannot be put into a bowl!
Shes over the fucking moon, and cannot wait to slam that extra bowl down into the
cupboard. She lets Jossie take off his muddy shoes, and then walks to him to the
kitchen. Then she slams that fucking bowl down. Yes! Bowl, fucking get fucked.
Also, this is Jossie.

Frank looked up from his phone and saw Saba with Another New Human. Green
haired human. Hi. He said and smiled a lil. Im Frank. Cool.

Hi! Im Empie. Empie had to brake off his intense Bill Nye eyebrow appreciation
speech to introduce himself. Tragic.
Im Charlotte, hello! Charlotte swivelled round on the barstool again. She had to get
herself one of these, they were too darn fun.

Jossie feels as if someone has just launched a fiery red ball of social obligations at
him. Okay thats- uh, like four people, looking at him. Except one is his life-long
platonic soulmate, so that ones alright, he supposes. The rest are nice, theyre
friends, but they havent spoken in weeks, and one of them is a sort-of stranger?
Hes seen Emil around the house and all, but theyve only had random encounters.
Oh wait. Thats, right, Empie. What the hell kinda name is that?

Heyyy. He drags out for too long, and then Saba hands him a Red Bull. Well, more
tosses it. He fumbles with the catch, but lands it, and Saba makes a cute little
victory sound. Sort of like a tiny explosion with her mouth? Oh well. It makes Frank
look at her weirdly. He sits. So, what are we talking about?

They were talking about Bill Nye and his eyebrows. Frank said in a deep voice and
kinda tried to fix his hair but with no luck. It was just weirdly sticking out in random
places like it always fucking was. But feel free to start a new conversation.

Wow, yeah, Frank, make sure to just toss the social anxiety ball over to Jossie, thats
not a dick move at all, nuh uh. Saba decides to catch the metaphorical anxiety ball,
mid-air. Not actually, just.. Metaphorically. Nah, nah, Im sure Jossies soooo tired.
Right? Nah. Frank! How about you tell us about, uh. She was so, so confident, but
then the legend falls. Oh!

Your brother! Hes like- what, ten, eleven now? She turns with an interested
expression as she sips on her Vodka-Bull.
Yeah, he just turned ten. Frank beams proudly and sits up straight. He started
playing piano and hes already so good! He was always proud of his little brother.
God, he loves that kid!

Thats- thats great! I love piano, sounds, nice. Fucking amazing. Nice one buddy,
really set the bar high. I mean- uh, so whats his name?

Oh! Frank smiles and pushes the half empty bowl away. Its Victor. Yknow, my
mom really loves Tim Burton. He shrugged and thanks God, the conversation was
over. He can go back to being an invisible guest.

Well, ya mums got great taste. Jossie mumbled before sipping from his Red Bull
like his fucking life depended on it.
This is in no way relevant to the current conversation at hand, but Saba groans
extremely loudly all of a sudden. My back is fuuuuuuuhhccking killing me! I dont
even- christ, I havent even moved for like two days, somehow Im still sore. She
whines. Its her favorite thing to do in her free time. Emp, you still got that like-
herballotion, the stuff I put in your room for safe keepings?

When she gets a nod of approval, she quickly grabs her lighter off the kitchen
counter, she really should find a better place to keep them, theyre scattered all
around the flat, and makes her way to Empies bedroom.

Why would someone need a lighter if they are using lotion? Frank raised an
eyebrow.

I have no clue, Charlotte muttered, although she had several inklings, and sipped
her beer.

Depends, maybe its just for flicking around with? Like one of those
stress-relief-thingys? Jossie shrugs and tries not to stand out too much, but he does
like to prove himself as, knowing?

From Empies room, halfway across the flat, Saba exclaims a loud Found it!. She
sounds a lot more relaxed than she was twenty seconds ago. Then she yells out
again, a bit softer, Hey- Joooossiie. Do you- you want some of this t-, uh. Somma
this
lotion?

Jossies head shoots up from looking down at the floor and trying to avoid any eye
contact. Oh, uh- yeah. Be right there. He tries to sound casual and laughs
awkwardly when he stands up, with his all too long limbs flailing around as usual.

The second Saba sees a tuft of that fluffy, poofy hair, she snatches him by the t-shirt
and playfully (violently), pulls him into the bedroom. Thought you might need some
calming down. You really needa loosen up, its just like, Char, and Emp, and Frank.
So far, at least. She shrugs. Its no big deal! Just three people shes comfortable
with. Surely, everyone is just as comfortable as her.

Youre not helping. He mumbled and tried to un-wrinkle his shirt. But yes, some
calming down would be quite useful. Thank you.

Ah, yes. Welcome to my- uh. My dealership. Heheh. Yknow, like a car dealersh-
you get it, you get it. She gestures to the bed. Ive got a glass piece or something
under his bed. Its clean, dont worry, I take care of muh babies. She puts on a weird
Courtney Love-y voice.

Yes, of course. Why cant you just have like, joints or some shit? Like normal human
beings. Jossie sighed and shoved Saba out of the way to practically crawl under the
bed.

Uuugh, they take so long to roll perfectly, though. Not all of us have the patience of
a- of a.. yknow. A patient thing. You! Not all of us have the patience of you. She
shakes her head and clicks her tongue. So shut ya and smoke.

Yeah yeah, got it. Its easier to hide though and- yes! Okay Im not judging you. Just
saying. He shrugs and momentarily forgets how to use one of these things, but he
figures it out soon enough. Thanks, again.

Aw, bro. Me toke, es su toke. She pats him on the back lightly.

Empie -who was trying not to laugh from Sabas bad acting- didnt smoke because
he was a
child of God. (He had asthma and he didnt want to cough anymore than he
did thank you very much) He did however, being the amazing brother he is, let Saba
store whatever the fuck she bought in his room. Which turned out to be a bit of a
hassle when she had company.

So... cheetos. Theyre good. Nice one. Just call Empie the World Wide
Conversation Starter Champion. He wishes this was over social media, or
something like it, at least then he could get the ball rolling with some memes.

The best! Frank said enthusiastically and put a thumb up like a real social human.
Do you like weird food combinations? Ya know. Pineapple on pizza and stuff..? He
asked, mostly because that's the first thing that came to mind. Not like he could ever
come up with a normal topic of conversation, like what do you do for work?, or
literally anything else than pinapple on goddamn pizza.

Oh hell no. Oh fuck no. If Empie had a mug of tea in his hand, he would totally do the
cliche mug drop when the tea slowly spins out the mug as it hits the floor in slow
motion. But he had no special effects team and was drinking beer, and beer was too
good to waste. You like pineapple on pizza?! You could hear the anger-
disappointment maybe- in his voice.

No, no, no, no. Frank shook his head and laughed. Im asking because well,
cheetos are salty and the beer is literally, well, I dont know, Ive never really tried
anyway, but isnt it different? He asked, trying to defend his image. He didnt want to
seem like a pizza-pineapple-activist.

Empie let out a little sigh of relief, the pineapple on pizza discussion always ruined
him. Not really? Its good, really good.

Oh. Well. Cheers then. He pointed at his glass of what was that? Was it apple
juice? Probably. Saba just gave him a glass of something. Shes always had strange
ways of feeding her guests. Yeah, well. Cheers.

Cheers! He leans forwards on his stool, and clinks his bottle with Franks glass,
which he was ninety seven percent sure had alcohol in it. Well, lets see how this
goes. He shuffled back on the seat, so he was central again, and leaned on the
counter, swirling his chair around like some exercise machine. (He needed it.)

After a few minutes of comfortable silence, the doorbell sounded again and Empie
was this fucking close to chucking one of the shoes that were lying around at it. Saba
was still in his room applying lotion, so he hopped down from the stool and slid in
his socks to the door, sort of like a little baby penguin, looking for his father. He had
absolutely no idea where this new burst of confidence came from, but he was going
to make the most of it. What could go wrong with opening a door, right?

Turns out that a hell of a lot could go wrong with opening a door. A group of about 6
people decided to come down together- and he had no heckin clue who anyone
was.

Oh, uh- come on in--oh wow youve brought more chips--okay then.
He shuffled back to the kitchen with the group of colorful characters walking in
behind him. He felt like he was leading an army into battle or something, but in reality
he was taking his older sisters friends into their mediocre kitchenette that was filled
to the brim with cheetos and beer- dollar storecheetos and beer.

Hey sis? More of your friends are here.

Alright, so they hadnt gotten super blazed. But lets just say, a fair amount of herbal
lotion had been applied. Enough for Saba to be very excited about seeing the rest of
her guests. Hugs were given, cheetos were received.

Saba had received about two or three packs of cheap cheetos, when she spots a
diamond in the rough: a pack of salted potato chips! Ha! Fuck you, Cheetos! Lets
see, who decided to save Sabas evening?
Well shit, its no other than Anja! Anja fucking.. Ergh, they all just sorta call her this
weird nickname someone started a long time ago. No one really knows how to
pronounce it properly. Anjkna? Anja...ka. Anjkna. Something like that. Anjka is
awesome, and to prove her awesomeness, shes going against the stream and has
brought awesome fucking salted potato chips.

Saba instantly gets into a heated but affectionate conversation about how fucking
hella dope Anjkas party skills are, and how rebellious her chip of choice is. Saba
sort of forgets to greet the rest of the party, but they all got their damn hugs already,
who cares. She also sort of forgets all about the guests she was previously speaking
to, and the fact that her little brother is all alone in a sea of social confrontation.
Cmon, hell survive.

Fuck this.

Thats all that goes through Jossies head as he stands up from the group of people
quietly sitting on the floor and drinking drinks or whatever. He cant even be bothered
to care about such vain activities. So he walks over to try and snatch back Saba, but
to no avail, as shes completely busy shoving salted crisps down her throat.

Fuckin damn it- Jossie mumbles as he pushes through the mass of people and out
through the door. He knows hes just used a fuck tonne of herbal lotion, but a cigg
never hurt nobody, kind of? Cant fuckin--too damn windy--talkin to myself again I
see- oh shit. Jossie immediately sumps the newly lit cigarette under the sole of his
shoe and he tries to fix his appearance a bit. Hi Pete.

Pete wasnt much of a smoker, he knew that much, and Petes usually nice to
Jossie, so why wouldnt he be nice back?

Hey, kale. He laughs at his own joke and Jossie scoffs, kale died months ago, but
yet the nickname lives on. Havin a good time I see.

Yeah yeah, whatever-- its alright, but Saba always get the munchies; real bad. And
nothing can stop her, so Im left to my own devices now. Jossie chuckles and looks
over at Pete, had he cut his hair since they last met? Soo-- hows life?

Pretty shitty, as usual. Jossie hums in response, but Pete just laughs like always.
Smiley little fucker that Pete. Nah, but things are aight, I guess.

Thats good, I guess. But uh, do you want to actually go inside? To the party and
all? Jossie motions with his thumb to the door and Pete shrugs, Jossie takes that as
a yes. So he shrugs back and opens the door to be met by an almost-in-tears
looking Saba.

Were all out of saaalted chiipsssss!! She wines and waves around with the empty
bag. Quite a depressing sight to say the least.

Firstly, its crisps, you uncultured swine. Thirdly, we have soooo many bags of
Cheetos, cant you just eat those? Jossie shrugs for no reason (stuck in
shrug-motion) and walks into the kitchen to grab a cold beer from the fridge. Jossie
has two kind of highs: the one where he gets even more sassy than he usually is, or
the one where he cant fucking stop giggling at everything. This doesnt seem to be
the latter, yet.

Nooo, no. No. Cheetos are, no, theyre messy. Messy fingers, messy mind. I dont
like no part of that messy mess. Alright, so believe it or not, but its actually not very
easy for Saba to get properly wasted. She might seem all rambly, giggly, and bubbly,
but those are just what she likes to call a mixed cocktail of placebo effect, and her
already existing sober personality. Plus, shes had like, vodka, Red Bull, beer and
weed at this point. Cant exactly blame her for wanting some goddamn chips.

And you really need to stop this whole.. British, thing. Youre doing. You old chap.
Oh, its
crisps, dear. Oh lord, oh god save the fucking queen. Shes just making fun
though, and giggles into her Red Bull. Frank seems to be sizing her up, not in the
sexual way (unfortunately,) and more in the Are you gonna pass out soon, way.

Theres nothing wrong with Britain Charlotte grumbled, then fully thought about it.
Actually, no, scratch that, but Im not returning to my Scottish roots just so the posh
Britll be gone. Scotland is a part of Britain, yes. But all the alcohol she snuck back
to the fridge to drink in secret was starting to kick in at this point.

Empies seen enough of this scene to not even be worried. He knows Saba will
probably just drink some more, and wake up tomorrow feeling absolutely fine, or at
worst, a little bothered. Bitch never gets a hangover. Its like drinking, but without the
sucky negative side effects, shed say.

She wouldnt say that to Frank, though. Hed worry about her too much. Shed only
say that to cool kids. Like her. Her gang. Her cool kids. That arent here tonight, on
behalf of being too cool for get togethers. Usually, Sabas way too cool for get
togethers, but.. This is Empies get together. She can let one slide.

(is there where we're ending it?)

I dont rly wanna end it until all the party characters r introduced sorta, are we
missing some?
i think we have everyone?
Zoe
Chris
Mikey

Signatures h e r e :

!!!!amazing!!!!!!!ssososososogood!!!!

DON E

M sorrry about making it bigger but everything has to be the same size ):