Professional Documents
Culture Documents
RAE WEINER
MARIANNE WALTERS
Rae Weiner, a pioneer of the concept of family therapy with the Philadelphia Child Guidance Clinic and the Family
Institute of Philadelphia, died Monday, August 13th at the age of 46. Mrs. Weiner received a bachelor's degree from the
University of Pennsylvania and a master of social studies from Bryn Mawr College. Mrs. Weiner joined the Philadelphia
Child Guidance Clinic in 1968 where she was instrumental in creating and overseeing family counseling programs. She
was also closely affiliated with the Family Institute of Philadelphia, an organization of family therapists and social
workers. Mrs. Weiner was president-elect of the Family Institute and served on its executive council. She is survived by
her husband, Oscar R. Weiner, M.D., two sons and a daughter.
Rae Weiner died on August 13th. She was 46. She was my dear friend. We worked together at the Philadelphia Child
Guidance Clinic for four years, and collaborated closely in several training programs. After her death many people who
knew her professionally, both in and out of the Clinic, students, co-workers, trainees, residents, clerical staff, talked with me
about how they felt. Others wrote or telephoned. Extraordinarily, each one of them spoke of how she had "touched" their
lives, how contact with her had in some waysome personal, special wayaltered their own existence. This was her rare
gift. For Rae, her professional life as a social worker, family therapist, teacher and supervisor, did not consist solely of a set
of learned tools and techniques to be employed in the performance of her chosen work. In this day of "technology" in our
profession, of rhetoric and anti-intellectualismRae took pride in her professionalism, in her social work roots, her
involvement, commitment and caring. She was not ashamed of such words. She spoke often of her "ideology," and she
sought to explore and elicit the ideology of others. For in this way she could understand another's frame of reference, the
view they had of life, their goals. And she would join the other person, would freely and consciously interact, and would
enter into a process which would inevitably alter the existence of both. She always left people feeling good.
Rae understood that what she did for and with othersin therapy, in teaching or in personal interactionwhat she
learned in this processmust have impact on her own life. Rae was not judgemental, but she was critical and willing to
risk her own feelings in demanding clear, direct communication of others. Best of all, Rae didn't play games; she took her
life, her work, her involvement with others, seriously. She knew that the essential task of each of us is to grow up, and that
the work of the therapist in helping others to grow up and to change is also the work of the mother, the friend, the teacher,
the supervisor, the co-worker.
And Rae was fun and loved funny people; she was warm, energetic, vital; and she talked too much. She was pretty and
feminine, and annoyed by her own vanity. Along with many other women she was struggling with issues of her role as a
woman, especially in work.
After Rae learned that she had a terminal illness she called me to come to the hospital. For three days we talked. She
brought me with her into the process of her dying. She knew my fears and understood how I needed to avoid experiencing
pain. She also knew that my feeling for her, my caring, humor and ironic view of life would help her. She gave me the
opportunity to face the ultimate fear while being able to help. She left me not bereftalthough I miss her terriblybut able
to deal with my own mortality in a different way.
It was an extraordinary experience. Rae was an extraordinary woman.