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The Pastoral Dimension of Mixed Marriages

Texts Rev. Dr. George Tsetsis

Eschatological -- , 2007, . 599-611
Dimensions of
the Church Until the beginnings of the 19th
Athanasios Yevtic century, Orthodox populations living
The limits of the in the traditional "Orthodox lands" of
Church the East Mediterranean, of the
Vlassios Phidas
Balkanic peninsula and of the central
Doxology, the and eastern parts of Europe, had li le
Language of opportunity to encounter peoples
Orthodoxy
Constantine Scouteris belonging to other Christian
traditions, and to have social, or even
The Pastoral
commercial relations with them. With
Dimension of
Mixed Marriages few notable exceptions, Orthodox
Rev. Dr. George living in their ancestral lands from
Tsetsis
time immemorial, had knowledge of other Christians generally through
Orthodoxy and apologetic books and writings, or from anti-heretic homilies of their pastors. The
Inter-Religious "heterodox" was a creature to be avoided at all costs! Even in cities and lands of a
Dialogue
George Martzelos cosmopolitan character and inter-faith synthesis, such as Constantinople,
Smyrna, Alexandria, Damascus, Beirut or Jerusalem, Orthodox believers,
The First Icons of
although they were neighbors to Latins, Copts, Armenians, Chaldeans or Syro-
Christ and the
Virgin Jacobites, as well as to Jews and Moslems, deliberately lived in isolation, within
Leonid Uspensky their own "Orthodox fortress", in an endeavor to preserve their ethnic, cultural
An Assessment of
and religious identity.
Theological
Issues Today The real encounter of the Orthodox with peoples of other Christian traditions and
Savas Agourides cultures happened when masses of Orthodox populations left their home-lands
The Procession of in order to escape political oppression, slavery and misery, and nd be er living
the Holy Spirit conditions in prosperous host countries. First, in the Americas, (particularly in
according to the USA ), in the 19th century, and later on, in the mid-1950's, in Australia and
Gregory Palamas
M. A. Orphanos
Europe, (mainly in Germany, Great Britain, France, Sweden, Belgium ).

The Problem of In this new multi-ethnic, multi-cultural, multi-confessional se ing of the host
Pre-existence of countries, Orthodox from Greece, Russia, Serbia, Romania, Bulgaria, or from Asia
Souls in St. Cyril
of Alexandria
Minor and the whole of the Middle East, had the opportunity to meet the "other":
Dratsellas the Roman Catholic Irish and Italian, the Swedish and German Lutheran, the
Constantine I. Dutch and Swiss Protestant, the Episcopalian of English origin. The natural
outcome of this coexistence m these "melting pot" societies, was the progressive
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25.10.2017
Justin Martyr's breaking down of "wall's of separation" and the gradual establishment of contact
Eschatology
L. W. Barnard
between peoples from dierent ethnic and religious horizons; a "ge ing together"
with a wide spectrum of social and ecumenical implications. One of them was,
Symbols and the contraction of mixed marriages, this most important and challenging pastoral
Symbolism in the
Orthodox Liturgy problem, that the Churches around the world are facing today in their daily
Alexander ministry.
Schmemann

Orthodox For the Orthodox Church, however, mixed marriages are not a problem aecting
Principles in the only Orthodox communities living in the multi-ethnic, multi-religious societies of
Service of an the "West". With the gradual enlargement nowadays of the European Union
Ecumenical towards the Balkans, with the consequent abolition of national borders, and the
Theological
Education mixing of European peoples, the Orthodox believers of Greece and Cyprus today,
Nikos A. Nissiotis of Romania and Bulgaria tomorrow, of Ukraine and Serbia in the foreseeable
Gregory of Nyssa
future, who were accustomed to live so far in their own Orthodox "stronghold",
on the Nature of will encounter the "alien", the foreigner. Not necessarily the ephemeral, passing
the Soul by tourist, but the "European citizen" who will emigrate to a traditionally
John P. Cavarnos
Orthodox country for scientic, commercial or aective reasons. In this
The Christ of perspective, traditional Orthodox lands will inevitably lose their "compact"
Revelation and homogeneous Orthodox character, and will gradually develop a multi-ethnic and
the Christ of
History multi-confessional social environment, with non-negligible cultural and
Vlassios I. Phidas relational consequences. This new reality will quite naturally generate new social
relationships, which will inevitably end up with inter-Christian, mixed
Membership of
the Body of marriages, as happened in the USA early 20th century, or in Australia, Germany,
Christ: France, Swi erland four or ve decades ago.
Sacraments of
Initiation This new situation will compel Mother Churches living and witnessing in the
Hieromonk Hilarion
Alfeyef historic Orthodox lands of the East not to consider mixed marriages as a problem
aecting only the so-called Diaspora area. This phenomenon
{ technicalsooner or later
support will}
contact
become an unavoidable problem in traditional Orthodox Countries like Greece,
Cyprus, Romania, Bulgaria, Serbia, or Russia. It is worth mentioning at this point
that mixed marriages have been a common phenomenon in Egypt or in Syria and
Lebanon for many decades now. This being the case, there is an urgent need, I
believe, to examine this issue on a Pan-orthodox level. Not only in its canonical
perspective however, as is the case with the present agenda of the planned Pan-
Orthodox Synod, but also, and mainly, in its pastoral dimension and in the light
of the developments in today's society. Because, whether we like it or not, even if
a mixed marriage starts as a private aair of a loving couple, it inevitably
implicates the Church.

It is known that although the early Church discouraged exogamy for religious
reasons, it nevertheless tolerated marriages between a Christian and a pagan. In
doing so, the Church followed St Paul 's maxim that "the unbelieving husband is
made holy through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy through her husband"
(1 Cor. 7 ;14 ). Early Christian literature gives evidence that marriages between a
Christian and a non-Christian were not rare, though they were problematic. Only
when Christianity became the ocial religion of the Roman Empire, was the
celebration of such marriages forbidden by the Church.

From that moment, endogamy, namely marriage between two Christians, became
the normal practice of the undivided Church during the rst millennium. And
following the Great Schism in 1054, marriage between two Orthodox, become the
praxis of the Orthodox Church, until very recently.

With the adoption of Christianity as state religion of the Roman, and later of the
Eastern Roman or Byzantine Empire, the Church formulated Canons
condemning mixed marriages. Thus, the Council of Laodicea (343), with its 10th
Canon, forbade members of the Church to marry their children to heretics. While
its 31st Canon specied that "it is not lawful to make marriages with all sorts of
heretics, nor to give our sons and daughters to them; but rather to take of them, if they

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promise to become Christians". We see that during that time, conversion to

Christianity was a precondition for the celebration of the marriage. From its side,
the Council of Carthage (394), with its 29th Canon, stipulated that the children of
clergy should not be allowed to marry women who are heretics or pagans.

The canonical directives of the above two local Councils were rearmed later by
Ecumenical Councils. Thus, the 4th Ecumenical Council of Chalcedon (451), with
its 14th Canon, prohibited marriages "with a heretic, or a Jew, or a pagan, unless the
person marrying the Orthodox shall promise to come over to the Orthodox faith". And it
is worth noting that this Canon conrms the above mentioned 31st Canon of
Laodicea, namely that conversion to Christianity is a prerequisite for the
celebration of a marriage.

The fullest and most explicit directive of the Church over this issue, however, is
the 72nd Canon of the Quinisext Ecumenical Council in Trullo (692). This
particular Canon not only spoke about impediments of mixed marriages, but it
also prescribed the sanctions to be applied against those who would transgress
the rules of the Church. This Canon reads as follows:

"An Orthodox man is not permi ed to marry a heretical woman, nor an Orthodox
woman to wed a heretical man. And if anything or this sort should appear to have been
done by anyone at all, the marriage is to be considered null, and the unlawful wedlock is
to be dissolved. For it behooves not to mingle together the things that ought not to be
mingled, nor it is right that the wolf be joined with the sheep, nor the lot of sinners with
the portion of Christ ( , namely the Church). But if anyone shall
transgress what we have decreed, let him be excommunicated".

This rigid canonical measure continued in the post-Byzantine period, and until
the beginnings of the 19th century. Thus, a decree of Patriarch Dositheos of
Jerusalem in 1706, ruled that "from now on, any woman marrying an Armenian,
should not be allowed to enter the Church, and should be deprived of Holy Communion,

as well as of proper Orthodox burial (1) . One century later, in 1806, the Ethno-
martyr Ecumenical Patriarch Gregory V, with an encyclical le er, instructed
diocesan Bishops "not to issue marriage licences to those Orthodox intending to marry
a heterodox or a heretic" (2) .

In spite Patriarch Gregory V of this rather rigorous stand of the Church in

relation to mixed marriages, however, we ascertain a tendency to tolerate such
marriages. For example, as early as 1782, during the ponticate of Ecumenical
Patriarch Gabriel IV, the Church allowed by "economy" Orthodox migrants in
India to marry Armenian and Papist (sic) women and virgins, because of the total
absence of homogenous ( ) women in this country, on condition that
both the marriage and the baptism of future children would be performed by an
Orthodox priest (3). It is quite interesting to note that this measure was taken in
order to prevent the "perdition" of these men, in case they consorted with
prostitutes and other disrespectful women.

With time we see that the strict application of the Canons regarding mixed
marriages is no longer observed and that the Church appears more relaxed and
tolerant in such cases, having a tendency to apply " oikonomia ". This new
tendency is even validated by a decree issued by the Ecumenical Patriarchate in
1887. With this decree the Patriarchate granted to Diocesan Bishops the freedom
to judge with discernment and pastoral wisdom the emerging cases, and bless
such marriages in a "non-scandalizing manner" (4). By this last term meaning that
such marriages ought to be celebrated in a way that would not hurt the religious
feelings of the wider community.

It goes without saying that the leniency observed during the second half of the
19th century over this issue, paved the way for the de facto abolishment of the
centuries old rules forbidding the celebration of marriages between Orthodox
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and heterodox. And no doubt this new ecclesiastical praxis was dictated by the
new social conditions prevailing in modern society, and mainly by the frequent
association, and even osmosis, of Orthodox believers with non-Orthodox
neighbours or professional partners.

The inclusion of the subject of mixed marriages in the agenda of the forthcoming
Holy and Great Council of the Orthodox Church, almost four decades ago,
precisely reected this new "ecumenical" reality, and demonstrated the
willingness of the Local Orthodox Churches to nd viable solutions to this
burning and crucial pastoral problem.

A rst exhaustive discussion on this subject took place in 1971, in the framework
of the Inter-Orthodox Preparatory Commission of the Holy and Great Council of
the Orthodox Church, during which the delegates of the Autocephalous and
Autonomous Orthodox Churches a ending the meeting expressed their views as
far as the solution of the problem is concerned. Quite revealing was the position
taken by the Church of Poland, a Church living in minority situation in a very
conservative Roman-Catholic environment, but obliged, nevertheless, to coexist
in social and political harmony with the overwhelming majority of the Catholic
citizens of their homeland. The view of this Church was that in the light of
present day ecumenical evolution and improved local inter-ecclesial relations, the
Orthodox Church ought to accept mixed marriages with all those baptized in the
name of the Holy Trinity (5).

Equally conciliatory was the position of the representatives of the Moscow

Patriarchate. "The Church of Russia ", they said, "recognizes that the marriage of a
Christian Orthodox with a heterodox Christian could be celebrated, provided the non-
Orthodox side recognizes the signicance of the blessings bestowed by the Orthodox
Church". It is interesting to note that within the same context, the Church of
Russia went a step forward by making a rather daring proposal with regard to
marriages of Orthodox with non-Christians and even atheists. "The present day
conditions under which the Church exists on earth"-, they remarked, "compel us to
return to the ecclesiastical praxis of the rst three centuries, concerning mixed marriages,
during which the Church, following St Paul (1 Cor. 7;12-14,16), accepted such
weddings". The Church of Poland was also of the opinion that the Great Council
ought to debate whether the Orthodox Church could bless a marriage if one of
the spouses is atheist (6).

Curiously enough, the same position was also taken by the rather conservative
Church of Greece. Its delegates believed that in cases of the marriage of an
Orthodox with a member of another religion, the Church could consider
applying " oikonomia ". They added, nevertheless, that mixed marriages should
be blessed only in exceptional circumstances (7).

It is interesting to note that few years later, and within the framework of a
Conference held at the Holy Cross Orthodox School of Theology ( Brookline ),
Professor Dimitrios Constantelos adopted a similar position with regard to inter-
faith marriages, pleading for the return to the ancient practice of the rst
Christian centuries. "As the Church stands now", he said, " no solemnization of a
marriage between a Greek Orthodox and a non-Christian is possible. It is my opinion that
the Church should act and allow the blessing of such a marriage, provided the Orthodox
member wants it and the non-Christian has no objection to such a blessing. The practice
of the early Church, which believed that the unbeliever is sanctied through his/her union
with the believer, should come back in to practice" (8).

The recommendation of the Inter-Orthodox Preparatory Commi ee was that the

First Pan-Orthodox Pre- Conciliar Conference ought to tackle this issue with due
a ention, taking into account the living conditions of the Local Orthodox
Churches in each place, and to consider giving them relative freedom in seeking

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solutions to the issue of mixed marriages, according the circumstances and the
pastoral needs of particular cases (9).

The wish expressed by this Preparatory Commi ee was nally fullled eleven
years later by the Second Pan-Orthodox Pre- Conciliar Conference, held at
Chambesy in September 1982. After a long debate, and subject to approval by the
Great Council, this Conference took some courageous decisions, deviating from
the centuries-old canonical praxis of the Church and proving at the same time
that the Orthodox Church is not a fossilized remnant of the past, but a living
organism capable of innovating, inspired and guided by the Holy Spirit. And in
doing so, this Pre- Conciliar Conference acted indeed in conformity with earlier
practices of the Church.

The related decisions of this Pre- Conciliar Conference are as follows:

"I. The marriage of Orthodox with the heterodox is forbidden according the canonical
akribeia (accuracy). It could be blessed nevertheless by consent and philanthropy, and
with the explicit condition that the children to be born from this marriage should be
baptized and elevated in the Orthodox Church. The local Orthodox Autocephalous
Churches could decide about the use of Oikonomia, according the cases and the prevailing
special pastoral needs",

II. The marriage of Orthodox with non-Christians and non-believers is strictly forbidden
according the canonical akribeia. In cases, however, of such (civil presumably)
marriages, the local Orthodox Autocephalous Churches, can decide about the use of
pastoral oikonomia towards the orthodox spouse, according to his/her pastoral needs".

Today, mixed marriages between Orthodox and non-Orthodox are allowed, with
the following conditions:

1) The wedding should be blessed by an Orthodox priest.

2) Children born to the couple should be baptized and brought up in the

Orthodox Church.

3) In cases of conict, the spouses should address themselves to Orthodox

ecclesiastical courts.

There is no need to mention that mixed marriages are the end result of the
division of the Churches. This is why nowadays, Churches cooperating in the
framework of the wider Ecumenical Movement in order to restore Christian
unity, try to jointly assess the diculties of such marriages, and struggle together
to nd mutually-acceptable pastoral solutions to this rapidly growing
phenomenon.

Anglicans and Protestants of dierent denominations generally recognize all

marriages, civil and ecclesiastical, as valid marriages, provided they have been
freely contracted by persons capable of marriage.

The Roman Catholic Church for its part also recognizes as valid marriages of its
believers with other Christians. However those Catholic believers who intend to
marry a non-Catholic, and in case the marriage is going to be blessed by a non-
Catholic clergyman, should obtain a dispensation from their ecclesiastical
authority, in order to ensure the validity of their marriage. If the marriage,
however, is contracted with an Orthodox and blessed by an Orthodox priest, the
procedure from the Catholic side is dierent. The Roman "Decree on Catholic-
Orthodox Marriages', issued in 1967 two year after the Second Vatican Council
(1962-1965), armed that for a marriage between a Catholic and an Orthodox,
the permission of the Bishop, as well as the double registration, were necessary
only for "legitimacy", as the presence of a priest of either Church, was sucient
for the validity of the sacrament. This measure was taken after the recognition by
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this Council of the validity of Orthodox priestly orders and of the sacramental
character and validity of Orthodox marriage.

The Orthodox Church does not formally pass judgment on the validity of
marriages performed outside her body among non-Orthodox. It is interesting to
note, however, that if two Protestants or two Roman Catholics, previously
married in their Churches, are converted to Orthodoxy, they are not remarried in
their new Church. In this way the Orthodox tacitly recognize Roman Catholic or
Protestant weddings. Nevertheless, for a mixed marriage between an Orthodox
and a believer of another Church to be valid, it should certainly be celebrated in
the Orthodox Church by an Orthodox priest and according the traditional
Orthodox rite. In this connection it is interesting to note that the two historic
Greek Orthodox Patriarchates of Alexandria and Antioch that live in close
vicinity with Copts and Syriacs, obliged by the social conditions prevailing in this
part of the world, (Christian minority in a Moslem environment), and for purely
pastoral reasons, signed bilateral agreements with their Oriental sister Churches,
regulating mixed marriages.

Thus, in 1991 the Greek Orthodox Patriarchate of Antioch and the Syro-Jacobite
Patriarchate of Antioch agreed that a mixed marriage will be celebrated, after
Episcopal permission, in the Church/Parish of the bridegroom, while the best
men and witnesses can be chosen from the Church of the wife.

The agreement signed in 2001 by the Greek Orthodox Patriarchate of Alexandria

and the Coptic Patriarchate is much more elaborate and, indeed, daring. The
major points of this agreement are the following:

1 - Marriages between Orthodox and Copts should not be performed

simultaneously or in con-celebration. Both Patriarchates agree to accept the
sacramental nature of the mixed marriage that is blessed in either Church.

2- Those to be married should present a certicate from their own Church, stating
that they are free to marry.

3- Both Patriarchates shall agree to perform all their sacraments to the new mixed
family (11).

4- The Church that blesses the marriage, shall also be responsible for the pastoral
care and other problems of the new couple.

After having briey presented the historical evolution of the phenomenon of

mixed marriages, I wish to develop below some considerations regarding the
pastoral aspects of this acute problem.

In all marriages, the primary concern of the Church is to uphold the strength and
stability of the marital union and the family life that ows from it. It goes without
saying that the perfect union of a man and a woman, and the full sharing of life
that constitutes the married state, are more easily assured when both partners
belong to the same faith community. But, mixed marriages are today a common
phenomenon. And in view of their proliferation, the Church cannot but include
in its pastoral solicitude couples preparing to enter, or already having entered
such marriages, and show solicitude in assuring the harmonious development of
this '"mixed" family. The abiding responsibility of those in charge of a pastoral
ministry, (Bishops, Priests, Spiritual Fathers), is to provide special instruction and
support to this couple, taking into consideration the concrete spiritual needs of
each partner.

Generally speaking in today's society we have three distinct categories of mixed

marriages, each of them having their own characteristics, and necessitating
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therefore a proper pastoral approach.

1) There are mixed marriages of people coming from dierent church and
denominational backgrounds. People who are religiously indierent, but who
opt for a Church marriage, in order to please their practicing parents and
relatives, or because a solemn marriage in the Church is " la mode" or because it
is dictated by the socio-cultural environment in which they live. In other words,
marriage is looked upon as social obligation and not Sacrament. In such cases this
new family needs, above all, "evangelization".

2) There are marriages (and not only between Orthodox and heterodox), in which
one member of the family is a practicing and believing member of his/her
Church, consciously participating in her sacramental life, while the other member
is religiously indierent, if not an atheist. In such cases the pastoral responsibility
of the Bishop, of the priest is to initiate this indierent member into the life of the
Church that blessed the marriage, and made him/her "one esh" with the other
member of the family.

3) Finally, there are mixed marriages where both spouses happen to be devoted
and practicing Christians, who for family or reasons desire to remain faithful to
the Church in which they have been baptized and raised. It is this particular
category of conscious Christians, who do not consider marriage merely as a social
obligation but as a Sacred Mystery they mean to experience that oers the
Church enormous and challenging pastoral perspectives. Simply because the
Church by accepting, even by " oikonomia ", the heterodox member of the family
in her bosom through the Sacrament of marriage, it considers him/her as "esh of
her esh". Let us not forget the magnicent prayer of the wedding liturgy, in
which the celebrant after having prayed that God "the Priest of mystical and pure
marriage and Ordainer of the law of the marriage of the body" unite the couple "into
one esh", categorically rules that "those whom God had joined together let no man put
asunder", ( , ). In these
particular cases the pastoral duty of the priest is not simply to periodically visit
this "mixed" family in a social relationship framework, or to assure the Orthodox
education of the children of this home, but to confer on this "ecumenical" family
those spiritual necessities that will enable it to become a "house church" ( '
), in spite of the existing theological and ecclesiological
complications.

It goes without saying that the particularities of this type of inter-church

marriage raise the rather delicate question of the participation of the heterodox
spouse in the sacramental life of the Church of adoption, particularly in the
Sacrament of Holy Eucharist.

It is known that dierent Churches and Christian Communities have diering

perceptions, a itudes and rules concerning Eucharistic Communion, (or
"Eucharistic sharing" and "Eucharistic hospitality", as many Protestant
Denominations prefer to dene "inter-communion"). Anglicans, Lutherans,
Presbyterians, as well as other Churches of Protestant background, apply inter-
communion, considering that the Table of the Lord is open to everyone, and
therefore invite members of other Christian traditions to "share" communion with
them.

The Roman Catholic Church does not authorize the Catholic member of a family
to receive communion in the Church community of his/her spouse, in cases
where there is no recognition from the Catholic side of the validity of the orders
and the sacraments of that Church. This implies that Catholic believers married
to an Orthodox are allowed to take communion in the Church of their spouse, as
after Vatican IT the marriage performed in an Orthodox Church is considered
valid and canonical by Roman Catholics.

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The interesting aspect of this situation is that the Orthodox Church does not so
far accept the heterodox member of the family in the Sacrament of Holy
Eucharist, nor does it allow the Orthodox member to take Communion in the
Church of his/her spouse. And here we face a major pastoral problem, as many
orthodox believers living in the so-called Diaspora area, have diculties
understanding the reasons of exclusion of the heterodox member of the family
from Holy Eucharist, -this Sacrament of unity par excellence-, considering that
with such a disciplinary measure, the Church contradicts itself. For in fact it
"disunites" and separates those that it united "in one esh" , during the celebration
of another of its Sacraments, namely the Wedding Service.

This pertinent and vexed question of Orthodox believers around the world
should not be left unanswered by the Church. It is imperative therefore that the
planned Holy and Great Synod, besides dealing from the canonical perspective
with the question of the "impediments of marriage" ( ), as its
agenda foresees, should also deal, as a ma er of priority, with the multi-
dimension at liturgical, pastoral and ecumenical aspects of mixed marriages. The
more so as the prophetic ministry of Bishops and Priests is supposed to touch the
soul and mind of human beings who are under their pastoral care and
responsibility.

NOTES

1. K. Delikanis, Patriarchal Documents, vol.3, Constantinople, 1905, p.684. ( in

Greek).

2. M. Gedeon, Canonical Instructions, vol. 2, Constantinople, 1889, p. 111. ( in

Greek).

3. M. Gedeon, Canonical Instructions, vol. 1, Constantinople, 1889, p. 265 (in

Greek). One could assume that before the rather common practice of sending to
America brides ( ) from the home country, early 20th century, such a
directive could also be valid for those Orthodox se ling in the USA, the more so
as the emigrants in their overwhelming majority were single men, with no
chance, at least at the beginning, of nding in the "New World" spouses of the
same ethnic and religious background.

4. M.G. Theotokas, The Legislation of the Ecumenical Patriarchate, Constantinople,

1897. p. 358 ( in Greek).

5. Towards the Great Council, No. 1, Chambesy -Geneva, 1971, p. 45 (in Greek).

6. Idem, p. 46

7. Idem.

8. See in Anton Vrame, ( ed.). Inter Marriage-Orthodox Perspectives, Holy Cross

Orthodox Press, 1997, p. 70.

9. Towards the Great Council p- 46.

10. See Episkepsis , no. 279, 15 September 1982, p. 12.

11. From an ecclesiological view-point this decision is quite interesting, for in fact
it implies a de facto unity between the two Churches!

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