Why do Danish leaders seem so rude?

Published on Published onSeptember 17, 2017

Skip Bowman

Making organisations safe for great work: Chief Transfo

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Over the years, I have had to explain Danish leadership and organizational style to many non-
Danes. And the typical reaction has been: I wish I had known that 8 years ago. And thats
because lots of things about Danish culture when translated into English come out wrong.

Danish leaders are often described as candid and direct by non-Danish employees and colleagues;
rude even. This is not the case in Danish, as Danish culture is relatively conflict-avoidant. So how
come?

Firstly, Danes are judged to be expert users of English based on the fact that their grammar and
pronunciation are good. They are regarded as the most competent non-native speakers of English.
However, their mastery of social rules like politeness is not as good. Secondly, Danish intonation
is very flat in English (especially when compared to Swedish and Norwegian) Flatness in
intonation, combined with a preference for sounding competent rather than charismatic, can lead
to coming across as direct and perhaps tough. When you sound like you master the language,
native English speakers will tend to attribute everything you say as what you mean.
Unfortunately, Danes often don't mean everything they say from a social point of view. Thirdly,
Danish leaders often translate Danish expressions and phrases directly into English. In Danish,
there are lots of small words and sounds that reduce the directness of what is being said, but these
are missing in the English version.
So, Danes can sound rude. And this is combined with an egalitarian, tall-poppy syndrome
where putting down friends, colleagues and employees is a sign of affection. Its a little like the
Australian mate phenomena. By making fun of you, and you making fun of me, we are on the
same level. However, this does not translate well either especially when it is couched in irony or
sarcasm.

Danes are contenders for the world championship in irony and sarcasm. They deploy lots of it
daily in almost all work relationships. Its kind of funny, kind of uncomfortable. A little like
being tickled and poked with a pointy finger all day. And sarcasm doesnt translate well, like
when I overheard a Danish boss say to a guy from Estonia, that he didnt like it when he didnt
know what his employees were up to. Now, I think the Danish leader was joking, but the
Estonian who had a very different and literal understanding of the comment, was not laughing.

Danish people tend to have fairly stable and limited social networks. Making deep and personal
relationships after university is not that common. In fact, social networks in Denmark are
notoriously hard to penetrate for foreigners or Danes moving from one side of this little country
to the other. Add to that, Danes dont like flattery, or any other exaggerated forms of social
recognition. They really struggle with the positivity, expressiveness and enthusiasm of many
American colleagues and business partners. Danes describe it as superficial.

And keep in Denmark, its okay to be smarter than others, but not rich.

Dont expect Danish leaders to say please. Danish language is based on 1000 thank yous.
Foreigners always ask for the equivalent of please, to which there is no easy answer. Add to this
that most Danish children grow up in families where showing respect for parents or older
members of the family is not as common or as distinct. In fact, intimacy seems to be expressed by
a lack of respect. Teachers, too, are mostly on first-name basis. Its got to do with the extremely
low hierarchical aspect to Danish culture.

Because they master English, they also take leading roles in cross-cultural groups. This is
regarded as the "native speaker" phenomenon. That groups are led not by the most technically
proficient person, or the most important, but rather by the person who speaks English the best.

Danish children are taught to participate, not to lead. This is quite different to other countries.
This means that when they are given leadership roles for non-Danes, they often struggle with a
more leader with a big L type of leadership. When they have to set direction, give confronting
feedback, create accountability, it doesnt come out well in English. It sounds even more bossy or
patronising than it should. Its because being a leader for anyone other than Danes, requires a
much stronger sense of role.

Show more ambition, is a common advice I give to all Danish leaders. Non-danes are, rightly so,
more inspired by leaders who have a strong sense of where they are going. Danes fear too much
charisma deeming it equal with manipulation or incompetence. Unfortunately, too, Danish
leaders are brought up to under-promise and over-deliver. So, they tend to show enthusiasm
mainly for problems and challenges and things that are going wrong.
To become effective, I have had to train Danish leaders to become comfortable with being
someone they think they are not. These are my common tips:

1. Show more enthusiasm and recognise success

2. Learn to speak more politely
3. Show more interest in making friends
4. Remove all irony and sarcasm
5. Speak more passionately; use stronger adjectives
6. Respect authority and the people who do
7. Stop looking down on employees that expect more direction than you are comfortable
giving

Danes like many Scandinavians are obsessed with authenticity. I dont want to be anyone I am
not. Unfortunately, being who you ARE in a foreign language or across cultural differences
requires translation. Acting like a Dane in English will mean that you end up being someone very
different than you expect in terms of impact on others.