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Boss, Change Title Of Padmavati: Shobhaa De's

Advice To Bhansali
Shobhaa De

Bhansaliji, I have a solution for you...

Keeee mushkeeeeel! As Bongs constantly moan and groan each time they encounter
a problem. The rest of us use a much ruder expression that begins with an 'F', and
ends with a 'K'. Somehow, I don't see Bhansaliji being this crass. He is an aesthete,
remember? Every line, every sentence, every shot in his movies, is imbued with bhaari
meaning. But as a practical Maharashtrian woman myself, I am very solutions-driven
and want to protect Padmavati. This is my solution: Bhansaliji is Gujju. An unusual
Gujju. He rst dreams. Then thinks. Someone pays for his thinking by making that
dream come true on the screen. And millions of fans feel happy. Majaa avechchh! His
movies are the ultimate fantasies - wives dance with mistresses. Husbands and
lovers watch the spectacle. Someone dies of a broken heart. Another dies because
of unrequited pyaar. The women die, anyway. All these events are staged against the
backdrop of magnicent havelis, palaces and battleelds. It's all very dramatic and
watchable. But history, it ain't! Who is looking for history? Or even logic? Does
anybody question Star Wars? Has even a single affronted viewer stoned theatres
when The Ten Commandments was screened, and Charlton Heston played Moses?
That's why we go to the movies! To escape. Relax. Feel enchanted and transported to
the magical kingdom of cinema.
LATEST But all this is wasting space and precious time.
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Sanjay Leela Bhansali's Padmavati which reportedly cost Rs 200 crorewill release on December 1

My immediate concern is to help Bhansali deal with those who want to stall his
magnum opus, titled Padmavati. Boss...why not change the title? Tweak it? You have
done that before with Ram-Leela... do it again! Whoever knows Ram-Leela by its
revised and rather tedious name? I am not even bothering to recall it. Bhansali can
call his new lm Leelavati or Amravati or Pushpavati, or any other vati. Even Chitor
can be called Kitor, Bitor, Mitor. Who cares? Call the Raja, Raja. And the villain,
Badmash. Nobody will mind. If the Ghoomar dance is a problem, rechristen it
Jhoomar. It is your lm! You can rename sab kuch, aaram se. May cost you some. But
better that, than have the crazies baying for your blood. And depriving us of watching
the lm.

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I have a selsh interest here, I must admit. I am dying to book my ticket - rst day,
rst show. Like millions of others. I am not watching it as a historically accurate
documentary. In any case, even history has many versions,
LATEST depending on who
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witnessed what, and which person faithfully chronicled those events. Even this
creates problems. Two people don't 'see' things in the exact same way ever. The art
of seeing is also selective and subjective. The many rich and varied histories of the
world are still being written and challenged. So it is with movies based on folklore,
myths and popular legends.

Rajput agitators have warned the ruling BJP government in Rajasthan ofconsequences if the movie isreleased

Those who are baying for Bhansali's blood and talking about Rajput honour being
battered, sound either semi-literate and ignorant, or politically motivated and vicious.
All recent protests in our great and good land, appear to be politically motivated. One
just has to refer to the election schedules of our states, to see the obvious
connections. Since India is a country that is permanently in election mode, hiring
professional protestors is very easy. For a price, they will protest against anything or
anyone. In fact, there are full time protestors who rst strike deals with 'offended'
parties and then negotiate for higher rates from their adversaries. In such a climate,
movies become the softest targets. Attacking a big movie and threatening the
makers, is a swift and cheap way of hitting the headlines.

My suggestion to rename the lm, was said half-in-jest. Why should anybody be
coerced to rename anything? Or, be held to ransom? Why should Sanjay Leela
Bhansali have to plead with random people? And screen his lm for some arbitrary
committee, that will thenLATEST
decide its fate! Rubbish! Padmavati belongs to our
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imagination as much as to Bhansali's. We will decide whether or not the movie
appeals to us. It's time to stand up to cultural bullies and do it as one. What 'hurt
sentiments' are we talking about? Have those 'hurt' people watched the lm? No!
Hurt by what? Rumour? Conjecture? Guesswork?

Maaro goli!

Sanjay Leela Bhansali, we have full faith in your sensibilities. And we also have full
faith in our own sensitivities. History often deceives and lies, distorts and
exaggerates. Just like movies. If we don't judge history, why should we pre- judge
cinema? Bring it on! Dikhao, dikhao...ignore the protestors.
One chhota sa question: How come your powerful Bollywood colleagues have still to
show solidarity and stand shoulder to shoulder with you? Itni jealousy, kya?

(Shobhaa De is an established writer, columnist, opinion shaper and social

commentator, who is considered an authority on popular culture.)

Disclaimer: The opinions expressed within this article are the personal opinions of
the author. The facts and opinions appearing in the article do not reflect the views
of NDTV and NDTV does not assume any responsibility or liability for the same.

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