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Once I got to the hospital, I knew that I was really going through with it. This hospital

was recommended to me by a friend. The entrance was bland, and there was trash scattered all

around the front sidewalk. I could see the rays of the morning sun in the reflective window panes

(LIGHT 1) and my breath in the crisp air. I pushed the heavy glass doors open to make my way

into the lobby. I wandered over to what I thought was the front desk and asked what floor

plastics was on. The nurse, Samantha according to her nametag, sat up pin straight (BL 1) as if

she didnt hear me and asked what I said again. I said plastics and she looked at me with a face

of concern mixed with sorrow and confusion (BL 2)

I was directed onto the third floor and checked myself in with some nurses. The nurse

assigned to me for the day was named Janet, she seemed relatively nice, definitely a mom. When

I got to my room, I was given a gown to change into. I changed in the bathroom that was

attached to my room while Nurse Janet waited outside for me. I looked in the mirror at my

ginormous nose and frail, vulnerable body (BL 3). I was thinner than I had ever been before,

almost all of my ribs were visible. My long-bleached hair looked fried from curling or

straightening it every single day. My eyes were a crystal blue, and for a second I realized that I

was a lot more beautiful than I had ever thought before (BODY 1). I didnt want to surgically

change my entire face because I didnt like the shape of my nose (ASTRAY). I began to mildly

panic about the consequences I would receive after this. Or did I even want to go through with

it? What if something went wrong?

Nurse Janet told me to lay down on the bed and started getting a tray ready. I instantly

got sweaty palms and crossed my legs out of nervousness (BL 4). She slowly sat down next to

me and just grabbed my hand. She asked me if there was anyone she could call, and I told her no.
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She asked me how old I was, and I told her eighteen. I could see the confusion and sorrow in her

eyes. Janet let go of my hand and was ready to poke me. She popped one of my veins, and began

to give me an IV. I winced, but knew it would only hurt more if I moved, so I tried to stay as still

as possible (BL 5). Once she finished, Janet told me it would be a couple of hours before my

surgeon came in to go over my plan with me. I nodded, and she left.

I scrolled through my favorite social media stars on Instagram and liked all of their

photos (OBS 1). Everyone looked so perfect (OBS 2). Their teeth were white and straight, thin

but curvy figures, long legs, big boobs, luxurious hair, clear skin, insanely impressive makeup,

pouty lips, and perfect noses (OBS 3).

After about an hour of scrolling through Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, Vsco, and

Tumblr, my eyes started to get weary and I decided to take a short nap. I closed my eyes and

couldnt fall asleep because the constant beeping of my monitors (sound). I finally decided after

about fifteen minutes of a restless nap that I would do something else. I sat up in my bed and

turned on the overhead lights, only to end up burning my eyes again (LIGHT 5). I pulled my

phone back out and decided to take some before selfies. I went onto the camera and took about

20 photos.

Around 9:30 a.m. my surgeon and Nurse Janet came in. His name was Dr. Daniel Harris.

His voice was raspy, and he sounded very confident when he spoke. He was tall and muscular,

had dark brown, almost black hair, very handsome face, and he wore a lab coat (BODY 2). He

told me that the was the head of the plastics department and that I should have no worries about

this minor procedure. Nurse Janet pulled up a digital chart of all of my information and read it

aloud. She said all of my allergies, and then they went through my surgical plan. They told me

where all of my incisions would be, and reassured me that there would be little to no scarring. I
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pulled out my phone and showed them a photo of the girl who had the nose I wanted (OBS 6).

Her name was Alyssa Whitmore, and she was the queen of social media (OBS 7). I envied her

life more than anyone (OBS 8). Before Dr. Harris and Nurse Janet left, they both asked me if I

was sure I wanted to go through with the surgery. I hesitated at first, but then told them to go

ahead. After they were gone, I laid in my back down in my bed and just waited. I didnt go on

my phone, I didnt watch T.V., I just waited.

As I was waiting to be prepped for surgery, I overheard two people arguing in the

hallway. I wiggled around in my bed until I could see through the blinds, and it was Nurse Janet

and Dr. Harris. I tried to stay as still as possible, so I could hear what they were saying. I

overheard them talking about a procedure on a young patient. Nurse Janet was clearly against

doing the surgery on this patient because they were so young, and Dr. Harris said that he wanted

to go through with it because the patient already had given consent. They argued for a couple

minutes longer, and then mentioned that the patient had no family or friends with them. I

dropped my mouth in astonishment (BL 7) right as Nurse Janet looked into my room window. I

flung myself back onto my bed and laid there, acting as if I hadnt heard anything at all (RANT).

Next thing I know, Nurse Janet opened the door with a frustrated, but dismal look on her face

(BL 8).

I was given more medicine in my IV drip, and was told to try to relax. My body was so

stiff that I felt as if my all of my limbs had been glued to my torso (BL 9). My hair was put under

a cap as two other nurses came in to help Janet. The wheels on the bed were unlocked and they

started to push me down the hallway towards the operating room. I gripped onto the metal bars

surrounding the bed (BL 10). They were grimy and cold (touch), and I couldnt bring myself to

hold onto them for very long. I was pushed through two doors and into an OR. I was told to hop
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on over to the surgical table. I could barely open my eyes due to the bright lights hanging over

me (LIGHT 6). My eyes finally adjusted, and I looked around the OR. There were probably

seven nurses, including Nurse Janet. I knew that this is what I had to do to be who I wanted to be

(OBS 9). Dr. Harris walked in, and then proceeded to walk over to my side. He towered over me

and told me that I was going to go to sleep now. The anesthesiologist placed a mask over my

face and I started to get sleepy.

I was a social media star. I got to travel around the world, date hot boys, take amazing

photos, and show the world how perfect my life was (OBS 10). I had the cutest dog, the whitest

teeth, best hair, great body, and everyone wanted to be like me (OBS 11). I was even paid by

companies to sponsor their products on my social media platforms; I was loving my life (OBS

12). This was everything I ever wished for (OBS 13). Everything seemed to fit into place

(DREAM). My vision started to get foggy and I got a major headache. I wasnt quite sure what

was going on. I tried opening my eyes and only saw bright light (LIGHT 7). I was greeted by

Nurse Janet once I finally opened my eyes. I looked around and didnt recognize my

surroundings. Janet told me that I was in a recovery room. I nodded and dozed back off.

I finally woke up. I looked around the room for someone to help me, but saw no one in

view. My lips were dry and chapped; I needed water. I saw a call button on the side table next to

me, but couldnt seem to move. My arms and legs felt so heavy (BL 11) as I tried to move them.

Once I finally reached the call button, I pressed it, and within about three minutes Nurse Janet

arrived. I asked for water and some medication. I could feel that my face was swollen, but I

didnt worry because that is a side effect of getting a nose job. After relaxing for about half an

hour, Dr. Harris came in. He told me that he would take the bandages off, so I could see my

nose.
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He slowly removed the bandages to avoid discomfort, but it didnt really help. Once they

were off, I already felt like I could breathe so much better. He picked up a mirror and gave it to

me, so I could see my nose. It was as if someone had cut a nose off another human being and

attached it to my face; and not in a good way. I was noticeably red and swollen, but that was to

be expected. The part that didnt make sense was the shape of the nose. It looked like it was three

times too small for my face, the bridge of my nose almost seemed more obvious, and the end part

by my nostrils looked like a little ball. My eyes immediately welded with tears because I felt so

confused, angry, disappointed, and regretful. I told Dr. Harris that I loved it, and he glided out of

the room (BL 12). Nurse Janet stuck around and didnt say a single word. She looked at me with

understanding and heartache (BL 13). She came to my side and grabbed my hand (BL 14). She

leaned forward and kissed my forehead (KISS), and for a second I felt like everything was going

to be ok.

Eventually my IV was removed, I got to put my own clothes back on, carefully around

my head, and I got discharged. I walked out of the doors, put a hat on to block the sun (LIGHT

9), and kept my head down (BL 15). I just kept thinking about how dumb I felt getting this

procedure. I knew all of these girls on social media, Alyssa Whitmore included, had editing,

good lighting (LIGHT 10) and photoshop. I was devastated and knew there was only one thing I

could do in this situation. I picked up my phone, dialed her number, and called my mom.