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James Oceguera

Professor Ditch

English 115

December 5, 2017

Composing I

Every day I placed the people I meet into groups. Some people are more aware of their

self categorizing, but in reality everyone does it as a way of organizing and better perceiving the

world around them. Judith Lorber points out in her article Night to His Day: the social

construction of gender, that everyone does gender without thinking about it, we are

uncomfortable until we have successfully placed the other person in a gender status (Lorber).

These categories dont just end at the title, they come with a long list of life long responsibilities

and social expectations that are deemed appropriate for that persons gender role. I myself have

experienced the immense amount of constant pressure to make sure my gender performance is up

to par. Eighteen, legally an adult while still simultaneously struggling with the self identification

crisis of being an adolescent. Every guy, whether he is conscious of it or not, fears the social

punishment inflicted on those who do not conform to their gender norms. In a constantly

evolving quota of what a man should or should not be, everything is a factor. Who Im with and

where I am ultimately determines which faade will be brought out to give the most appropriate

performance. Gender is a social construct; furthermore personality is a social construct. I am not

the same person in the classroom that I am at work or at home, very few people are. In this

constant deconstruction and reconstruction of a persons performance, it is no wonder that it is

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one of the leading causes of our nations identity crisis that are crippling the proper personal

development among large areas of our nations youth.

When I walk into work I am very closed off. I am focused at the task at hand, with the

can-do mindset, and I am not the only one. No matter what a persons job is, the workplace is

without a doubt a masculine social setting. The workplace is no place for woman used to be a

common phrase, nowadays it is more accurate to say the workplace is no place for the feminine.

Women must adopt certain masculine characteristics such as mens attire, pinning their hair

back, or even at times taking on the dominant role of giving orders. The clothes they wear are

heavily masculine, Jeans and work boots, or maybe in a formal job a suit, with very few

masculine positions allowing a flowing skirt and girly blouse. Regardless, everyone is focused

on the task at hand; it is because of this that my performance at work is my most masculine

performance.

However, this all changes when my environment does. In the classroom, I am talkative

and open-minded, two traits often associated with being feminine. Since school is a social setting

predominately run by female professors and faculty, I feel more at ease letting my more creative

side roam free, a characteristic that isnt always approved of to be exhibited by a man. Creativity

implies artistic passion, and passion implies emotions and feelings. Real men dont have

feelings, or at the very least should never show to others that they do. However, this worry

doesnt exist inside of the classroom. In fact, the opposite is encouraged. Exercising ones

cognitive abilities whether they be logical or emotional, is highly necessary to be successful in

receiving a proper education, and doing well in the classroom. So when my inner feminine is

called on, I feel no penalty to let it out.

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In addition to where I am, who I am with plays just as important role in shaping my

performance. I feel most socially stressed to perform adequately in a masculine setting around

other men. To quote my economics teacher Life is a competition and men compete through

status in almost all masculine settings men compete with each other on a subconscious level

mostly to determine the hierarchy of manliness. This level of manliness is calculated by how

many attributes of a guy coincides with the positively connotated attributes of gender norms. In

adolescence this might be determined by athleticism or ones physical qualities. As I get older

however, I will start being judged by the size of my bank account, and my financial success. This

is why so many men want fast cars and trophy wives; Society tell them that is what is needed to

become a real man. After all, according to Ruth Hubbard in her article Rethinking Womens

Biology, one isnt born a woman or man, one becomes one (Hubbard). This means that these

characteristics are looked at as the requirements to qualify for man card, especially by young

men. The constant feeling of competition and the fear of being by society standards not man

enough is what causes men and many guys to perform in hyper masculine way sometimes. The

rules are simple, men are strong, they never cry, and if any guy looks at you wrong you punch

him square in the face.

Its a whole different ball game though when I find myself in a feminine environment.

Unlike men, a woman doesnt typically feel the need to prove that she is a real woman. In fact,

if she feels the need to prove anything its some misguided notion of being equal to the guys

(Kimmel). This is because it is strictly speaking a masculine space that calls for a sense of

competition and validation from other men, or as Kimmel more accurately puts it, from other

boys. So when I am hanging out with my girlfriends, that sense of competition in comparison

isnt there and the male gender norms definitely have more lenient guidelines. I can be more
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loose and relaxed. I can be as talkative and friendly as I want, and Im actually allowed to have

emotions that show that I am human. In fact, there are many spaces where I feel its required.

When I go to the party, a space that has dancing, singing, and many other feminine qualities I

have to let go of my masculine barriers, or will be labeled a downer. A guy too scared to leave

the comfort of his masculine ways, that is fearful of being seen in a feminine light, typically

doesnt do well at parties and other feminine spaces. He is often found leaning up against the

wall with his arms crossed or hovering by the Punchbowl drowning in fruit punch and social

awkwardness.

In conclusion, I truly believe that the things that guys do to be able to see themselves as a

man, or that girls do to make themselves a woman, are the very things keeping them from truly

becoming one. We are a society that solely runs off the fear of inadequacy, and that uses that fear

to promote consumerism, materialism, and an unhealthy obsession with an unrealistic degree of

self perfection. We need to make a drastic change and soon, if we hope to change the course of

our world. As long as society strives for an impossible, and quite frankly unhealthy level of

gender performance more and more young people will develop an inauthentic warped sense of

self and maturity. Society and gender norms are the highest level of importance nowadays.

Maslows hierarchy of needs is no longer accurate, social needs has become priority number one,

and it is having a drastic effect on the development of personal identity. How is one supposed to

judge themselves by themselves, when their whole lives they have been taking their cues from

others? Similar to the stereotypical smart kid, who doubts his or her intellect without the

reassurance of his or her straight A report card every year. Almost everything about me is a

social construct, I am a social construct. The way I dress, the way I talk, my mannerisms, my
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sense of humor, even my goals are shaped by outside influences. It makes me wonder, how

would I have turned out different, without the stress put on me to be a man?
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Works Cited

Hubbard, Ruth Rethinking Womens Biology Composing Gender. 2014. Accessed 2017

Kimmel, Michael The Rites of Almost Men: Binge Drinking, Fraternity Hazing, and the

Elephant Walk Composing Gender. 2014 Accessed 2017.

Lorber, Judith Night to His Day: The Social Construction of Gender Composing Gender. 2014

Accessed 2017.