Espinoza 1

Karely Espinoza

Professor Beadle

English 115

6 December 2017

Surrounded by Emptiness

Generally when talking about monsters we tend to perceive a gruesome looking animal,

something weve heard about in an old legend or something weve seen on our television.

However over time weve come to realize that not all monsters are as easily identified as those

that society has labeled as monsters. Dracula and Frankenstein no longer have the same bold

effect they once did in causing us fear and pain. Today we face monsters that are hidden or to

some people nonexistent in our society. We face them every time we try expressing who we are,

where we come from and the goals we strive to reach. Modern day monsters are known to us as

stereotypes, racism and even appropriation, they thrive off of any place they can find depriving

us of a Safe Space. These monsters integrate in the minds of people and the spaces that

surround us, corrupting them and segmenting distrust and skepticism between us. The lack of

having a safe space is in part, the reason why people like myself feel self conscious when

expressing their cultural background and roots. They might feel like they'll get looked down

upon and be associated to something that falsely represents who they are. When the values of

equality are diminished and the notion of superiority take place in people's hearts we tend to feel

attacked from all sides. Making the most monstrous spaces anywhere that we arent surrounded

by people with our same lifestyles and struggles.

Although monsters can be constructed out of anything, the monsters that torment us the

most are the ones that can alter who we are individually. Monsters that are targeted in making
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our lives a burden such as causing us to uneasy in any space, often have the greatest impact on

us. Before, we would settle for monsters that were shared between others, a common enemy, but

due to our constant exposure to these monster we've grown a tolerance. However something that

people don't seem to notice, is the fact that their monsters aren't just influenced by their

surrounding but can in fact be their surroundings. A monster can actually be a place or

something that you lack in a certain space, such as security. The thing I find monstrous is that

despite being a country whose foundation is based on diversity, we have people who aren't free

to express their culture seriously. People are ridiculed when wearing traditional clothes, apparel

or holding different traditions with names such as ghetto beaner terrorist and so many

more. Our personal monster such as these, which in fact a low form of racism can actually be

shaped by our surroundings or even be the space itself. This causes us to stray away from who

we are in order to feel accepted and fit into society.

To be able to identify and understand what makes those monstrous things present in my

life, I had to analyze my space, values and beliefs, which isn't always easy. In Monsters and

Messiahs Mike Davis talks about what makes up a monster and how monsters can formed based

off things that go against our values, beliefs and morals. . . .we intensely crave the

anthropomorphic comfort of definition and category. . .monsters which embody fears in sensual

forms, are sometimes messiahs of consolation (Davis, 47) What Davis tries to say is that

without realizing it we are the soul founders of our own fears. That we crave monsters in order to

categorize our fears and hopefully to cope with them, making these monsters also Messiahs of

Consolation. Sometimes we live in constant fear, in this case, of expressing our culture and we

live in this fear without knowing why. It isn't until we stop thinking of a monster as an actual

physical being and more as an idea or belief that is integrated into people because of actions that
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misrepresent us, that we can fully understand what a monster is. After analyzing my particular

space,which is being in a space where im not valued and understood, I was able to see that what I

value the most is my desire to not get left behind. In our fast moving society being set aside or

not being given the same opportunities is equivalent to getting left behind, and therefore not an

option. Being surrounded by spaces which restrict us from openly expressing who we are

whether it's culturally or generally already puts us a step behind everyone else. Not being able to

adapt to not having a safe space puts us even further, which can seriously affect your future

and dreams. Leaving our only option to be setting aside who we are in order to accomplish this.

A certain space can have a different effect on different people; while some feel

comfortable and motivated in high pressure situations others might respond with anxiety or

distress. Nonetheless each individual has different obstacles and fears, whether they are self

imposed as a form to cope, or fears that develop. Each fear has a purpose in helping us better

understand who we are, both as people and as writers. Personally I have found myself to rise

above stereotypical labels and expectations as well as overcome spaces that restrict me from

being who i am, such as not going to college or getting a good education due to being a hispanic

as a motive to prove people wrong. At first I approached this as a challenge because I was able to

realize how much I valued approval and being accepted in the communities that surrounded me.

However these values and beliefs soon were discarded and others took their place. The ideal of

accepting difference, diversity, mutual respect and equality took that place, allowing me to

finally feel comfortable expressing my own culture in any space.

Not being in control of who we are can be intimidating, leading to self doubt and

insecurity and causing my personal monster to spiral out of control until it consumed me and

impeded me from achieving my full potential. Things like not knowing what to do and being
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afraid of messing up only amplified my fear of this intangible monster. There are many people

who face this same fear, of not having the liberty to express themselves and their culture despite

being in a free country. This type of thinking gives way for us to justify our fear, thinking that

it will always be this way or that we can't do anything to stop it so might as well get used to

it causing us to always remaining in the same circle of fear and never fighting to maintain a

space of our own. In My Zombie, Myself. . . Klosterman talks about how zombies reflect what

were most afraid of This is our collective fear projection; that we will be consumed

(Klosterman, 42.) With this Klosterman shows us how our Monsters are projected from what

we fear deep down which is why it is important to acknowledge our fear and try to face it. This

quote can apply to any monstrous space, especially mine. When faced with adversity such as

being looked down upon I had to pick myself up as fast as possible and overcome those thoughts,

because I knew that deep down i was forced to think the same thing.

Not having a space you can freely express yourself and confide in can be even more

frightening than the most ghastly monsters. Being constantly surrounded by stereotypes and

racism can be overwhelming especially when you don't have a place or space you can turn to,

ultimately leading you to lose a sense of who you are. Dude to a lack of security people will try

to abandon their cultural practices and rituals in order to fit the standards of the community

around them. Thinking that by doing this they'll be safer, or that the community will change for

them, giving them an opportunity to express themselves. The truth is that the only way to have a

Safe Space is to create one for yourself. The truth is that the only way to overcome the

Monster that is prejudice is by proving to people that anyone can make a space to express their

culture respectfully and for what it truly is. Once we overcome the monsters that we replay in our
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head and the fears we have deep inside us, the monsters will slowly disappear just the amount of

restriction you think you have.

Work Cited

Hoffman, Andrew J., and Mike DavisMonsters and Messiahs . Monsters: a Bedford Spotlight

Reader, Bedford/St. Martin's, a Macmillan Education Imprint, 2016, pp. 4747.

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Hoffman, Andrew J., and Chuck Klosterman. My Zombie, Myself: Why Modern Life Feels

Rather Undead. Monsters: a Bedford Spotlight Reader, Bedford/St. Martin's, a Macmillan

Education Imprint, 2016, pp. 4242.