Deisy Ramos

College Writing R1A

September 29, 2017

A Narrative with Meaning

The difference between a decent narrative and a compelling narrative is how it is written

and how well it captures the attention of its intended audience. A personal narrative can tell the

authors personal experiences and also show us the message the author got from their

experiences. The ways they achieved this is by not using explicit detailing, being able to connect

with their readers in a more intimate way and being able to answer the So what? in their

writing.

Any author that finds his writing to be valuable will make the difference between an

average narrative and a well rounded one. Narratives commonly share an insight on an author's

experiences and how they felt about it. In Writing the Memoir by Judith Barrington, it briefly

explains why authors write their personal stories and why they matter. The book also gives us an

idea of why readers connect with the reading, part of why you care, of course, is because you

can tell how much she cares. Readers cant tell exactly how long an author took to write a

narrative but they can tell how much an author gave up of themselves to write it. The narrative

that connects to the reader in a deeper sense is where it starts making a difference.

The more skillfully written an essay is, the bigger an impact it has on its readers.

When an author lacks word choice, the meaning behind an essay is lost on most occasions. The

goal for most authors is to make their readers feel like they are in the story. They want their

readers to imagine everything that is going on in the story. The only way to do this without
physically showing the readers something is by being as descriptive as possible. This is where

the 5 senses come into play. By focusing on some of these senses and not all of them, it creates a

unique imagine in the reader's mind. Although in the story by Michihiko Hachiya named after

the famous bombing of Hiroshima, Hiroshima Diary. In the reading, the main character goes

through the experience of dealing with the few seconds before the blast of the bomb takes effect.

Garden shadows disappeared. The view where a moment before all had been so bright

and sunny was now dark and hazy. Though swirling dust, I could barely discern a

wooden column that had supported one corner of my house. It was leaning crazily and the

roof sagged dangerously.

In this short description of his surroundings, he focuses only on the sense of sight. While adding

this in the beginning of his story, he sets a visual understanding of his situation for the readers to

imagine. As he writes ... a moment before all had been so bright and sunny was now dark and

hazy. he was describing the difference between what he was seeing to how his environment was

before the blast of the bomb. He skillfully uses only sight to express his emotion of chaos and

disbelief without making the audience feel overwhelmed with graphic images of the destructive

atomic bomb.

In the same time, a story should have the ability to impact their reader and leave them

thinking critically. As the strength of the narrative grows so does the effectiveness of the writing

and the depth of its impact on the reader. The author should be able to make the readers think of

the So what component of reading their story. The importance of a narrative should make you

feel a certain way after reading (e.g. joyful, full of sorrow, indifferent,etc.). It all depends on the

message the author wants to express in their narrative.

 The most compelling personal narratives should make you feel as though the author has

given you a part of themselves. An example of this can be found in Langston Hughes

Salvation where he describes a time in his life where he questions the religious beliefs that are

imposed on him by his aunt and all the older people in his church. Unfortunately, he does not

find the religious salvation that he expected to get. He expresses how the disappointment

affected him immediately afterward:

I cried. I cried in bed alone, and couldn't talk. I buried my head under the quilts, but my

aunt heard me. She woke up and told my uncle I was crying because the Holy Ghost had

come into my life, and because I had seen Jesus. But I was really crying because I

couldn't bear to tell her that I had lied, that I had deceived everybody in the church, that I

hadn't seen Jesus, and that now I didn't believe there was a Jesus anymore, since he didn't

come to help me.

Here, the author gives a little of himself to the reader, as he reopens his wounds. He wants his

readers to understand the sadness and grief he felt with the loss of his religion beliefs. By

showing his true feelings he opens up a critical perspective on religion on his community,

something that is not commonly done. The impact of his words are noticeable because he goes

above and beyond the expectations of describing his outter feelings as well as his inner thoughts.

Allowing a deeper understand of what the author is tempting to express and in this case he is

trying to express his frustration of not being able to connect spiritually.

On the other hand, if an author wants to be successful in their story they must clearly

develop their message throughout the story, while in the same time still keeping the reader

engaged. A story that can get out all the details without over shadowing the meaning, shows
which narrative is compelling. Going back to Hiroshimas Diary, there is a point in the story

where the author is still processing his surroundings and then comes to the realization of what

actually occurred a few moments before:

I paused to rest. Gradually things around me came into focus. There were the shadowy

form of people, some of whom looked like walking ghosts. Others moved as though in

pain, like scarecrows, their arms held out from their bodies with forearms and hands

dangling. These people puzzled me until I suddenly realized that they had been burned

and were holding their arms out to prevent the painful friction of raw surfaces rubbing

together.

At first he is clueless and then reality hits him, they are not scarecrows: they are burned victims

holding their arms up to prevent more pain. The author uses the word raw to express their open

wounds and the raw emotions he is feeling about his surroundings. The readers are given a

graphic image without expressing all the gruesome details. The author purposely wrote this event

into his story to add more character growth and show the readers an inside view of how his

thought process is developing. He goes through different phrases as this event progresses and

changes his perspective as time goes by. At first he is a victim affected by the bombing, clueless

of his surroundings. Then he begins questioning his surroundings, this shows he is growing and

becoming more aware. Finally he begins to add reasoning to the things he questioned earlier.

This shows character growth and how he has finally came to his senses. The author wants his

inner thoughts to have an impact on how his readers perceive the events in the same way he

processed the events.

 The way a story is presented has more importance than given credit for. The style of

grammar used in the text does not make a difference if it tells a more engaging story than

something written in proper English. It all depends on how the author wants to write his narrative

and get his message across. In Little Journey by Hiroki Iida, he uses English to the best of his

abilities to get his message across, even if it is not the best quality of Englisht:

On the very day of little journey, I got souvenirs for grandma and traffic mony, seeing off

by my mother in front of house, I went to the station. That was so big, like a castle. But

there was a problem. It was that I didn't know how to buy a ticket. For the time being, I

lined up. I was waiting for my turn with my heart beating. At last my turn came.

However, I didn't know what to buy, so i was standing. And then, ticket machine spoke to

me.

He uses English as best as he can to get the message across of a time in his life when he realized

it was time for him to grow up and help his mother by going to deliver a package to his

grandmother in his mother's place. Although his writing does not align with how a proper essay

should be written, a narrative does not have to. In fact an essay is a place to get create and create

your own format. For Iida being creative means using the English he speaks normally and

infusing it with his writing to make it more personal and unique. Being creative in general means

allowing the story to flow as long as it needs to until the flow reaches the point it wants to make.

When an author writes a narrative, it does not have to be proper. A proper essay needs 5+

paragraphs while a narrative can be one big paragraph and it would not affect the impact of the

story. A narrative can be written however the author deems necessary for their narrative to be

successful, even if that means it won't follow the conventional rules for writing in English.
 A Personal Narrative can be written in any format and tell an amazing story but there are

still some factors that a narrative must include for it to be a successful writing. When a story has

no value or impact on the reader, a reader finds no interest in reading. Although an author can

put together a masterpiece , if it doesn't connect to a reader it has the same effect of having no

value. When an author successfully puts all these factors together the type of format used for a

writing doesn't matter.

Work cited

1. Barrington Judith. Writing the Memoir Second Edition. The Eighth Mountain Press

Portland: Oregon, 2002

2. Hughes, Langston. Salvation. Personal narrative. Accelerated Reading and

Composition: College Writing R1A (Lecturer Mary Grover). UC Berkeley. September

2017. Essay uploaded to course site.

3. Iida, Hiroki. Little Journey. Personally narrative. Accelerated Reading and

Composition: College Writing R1A (Lecturer Mary Grover). UC Berkeley. September

2017. Essay uploaded to course site.

4. Michihiko, Hachiya. Hiroshima Diary. Excerpted in The Writer's Presence. Eds. Donald

McQuade, and Robert Atwan. 4th edition. New York: Bedford, 2003. 249-53.