Geovani Borja

Professor Batty

English 102

11 December 2017

Monster Novel Essay

The essay chosen to revise is the monster novel analysis which is about Mary Shelleys

Frankenstein. I began by rereading essay and rereading the feedback you gave me on the essay.

One of the biggest issue with my paper was the development/support. My explanations werent

supporting my thesis enough. I fixed by being more detailed when it came to explaining my

point. I was to being too vague when it came to explaining. I also needed to include one more

source since I technically only used three sources when it was it required to include four

scholarly sources other than the book. You also noted that I didnt use any direct quotations from

the book so I included more the book. My organization for the essay wasnt good enough so I

tried to fix some paragraphs and tried include transitioning sentences in order to make it seem

more organized. My word choice was also to vague and it made the essay seem too confusing to

understand the points. I changed my word choice in order to make it easier to understand. It was

noted that I needed to explain my thesis more. I didnt go into detail what made Frankenstein the

monster in the story in my original essay. I fixed it and actually included what made him a

monster. I had to make sure to include a better explanation on why some of the quotes supported

my thesis. The minor things that I fixed was my grammar errors, MLA citations, and my MLA

format. I forgot to include a header in my essay. Revising my essay has made understand why I

lost so much points on my essay.