CEFAS FOOTBALL DIARY 96/97 SEASON

September 1996
The excitement of Euro ‘96 was still fresh in our minds as boots were chiselled free of mud in readiness for
a new season. Would football come home to the playing fields of the Lowestoft and District Sunday
League or would it wander aimlessly round a Car Boot sale until the pubs opened? After a bright end to
the 95/96 season, hopes were high of fielding a full team.
The opening Sunday of the season pitted us against Factory Arms. They had previously disbanded from the
second division and re-formed to join the fourth, allegedly to capture a trophy or two this season. We lost
5-1, Ben Taylor scoring our only goal during a good spell early in the second half.
On Christmas Eve last year, Whitton had beaten us with a goal in the last minute and one in this game
again proved to be enough. The goal attempts were evenly shared in a scrappy match and we were
disappointed not to gain at least a point. On the plus side, goalkeeper Jon ‘Mad-Dog’ Elson played his first
league game since breaking his leg last season.
The month ended with two heavy defeats against Scott’s Brewery and Star Athletic, both sides much
improved from last season. The match against Scott’s was witnessed by our biggest crowd of the season,
4. Last year, the average number of Haddock Split supporters could be counted on the fingers of a hand
that had been involved in a particularly nasty accident with some farm machinery.
October
In which we bade Paul Marchal ‘au revoir’. We’ll miss our French star, who brought to mind the fashion
flair of Eric Cantona combined with the football skills of Jean-Paul Gaultier. The team always looked more
solid defensively whenever he played for us.
In Paul’s last game we discarded the baggy, rapidly yellowing Y-fronts of the league and slipped into the silk
camisole of the Cup. We found ourselves drawn against opponents from a higher division and accordingly
raised our game to produce our best performance of the season. In an entertaining first half we had most
of the clear goal chances and should have led. Instead, we went to the break at 1-1 with an equalising goal
from CEFAS old boy, Jason Bagshaw. We fell behind again early in the second half but an equaliser always
looked possible. Unfortunately, Railway ended our hopes of a cup run with a goal in the last minute. Matt
Sherlock made a welcome return to midfield and is bafflingly ‘Cherokee’ in the spell-checker.
We then broke new records with our heaviest ever defeat - 14-0 defeat against Corton Seltic Reserves. We
beat them 1-0 at the end of last season to spoil their promotion hopes so they were obviously out to exact
revenge. I’m not taking any of the blame for that one because I was on holiday.
I returned to the fray a week later for a bottom of the table clash against Suffolk Punch where we at last
won our first match of the season. A Bagshaw penalty, two fine goals from Phil Welsby and one from Ben
Taylor ensured a comfortable 4-1 victory. Afterwards, the atmosphere was strangely muted, as though no-
one could remember what you were supposed to do in the aftermath of scoring more than the opposition.
Injuries to striker Andy Moore (Achilles) and Dave ‘Spider’ Blythe meant that manager Harvey again had
selection difficulties for the match against Corton Hut. Leonard, Sherlock, Eagle, Taylor and Bagshaw were
also all unavailable. Haddock Split have never experienced the luxury of fielding an unchanged side. As it
was, torrential rain allowed the referee the luxury of not being arsed to turn up, so a friendly match
ensued. Two goals from Richard Keeler, a rare goal from Marc Scriven and a goal so rare from Matt Allison
it had to be bred in captivity, gave the Haddock another 4-1 win. Matt Harvey joined in the goal
celebrations. Nothing unusual in that, except he was the stand-in referee. David Maxwell made a
promising debut on the right side of midfield. Things were looking up.

Page 1 of 4
 CEFAS FOOTBALL DIARY 96/97 SEASON
November
November began by repeating the seasons opening fixture and result - a 5-1 defeat against Factory Arms.
Phil Welsby opened the scoring in the first attack of the game but we couldn’t hold on to the lead. It was
generally agreed, however, that this had been a better performance and we at least made Factory work for
their win. Defender Kins Leonard went straight to the bottom of the disciplinary table after being
dismissed near the end for a fine, right-handed save on the line.
This was followed by a poor performance against Etceteras that ended in 5-2 defeat. At half-time the
whole team seemed cheesed-off. By full-time we had got through the cheese, finished the coffee and
mints and were waiting for the bill. It was a dire match that looked like it would never end and seemed to
go on longer than a Brookside omnibus.
These were the games we needed to win to improve our second from bottom position and avoid the
ignominy of having to apply for re-election. A bad month and December’s fixture list didn’t look like it
would provide much seasonal cheer either.
December
The first two Sundays of December saw us in cup action, our last of the season as it turned out. A 10-0
defeat has scarcely been greeted with such a joyful response in the changing room afterwards. If you can’t
laugh, what’s the alternative? The team were outplayed in every department by a 1st Division standard
Lovewell Blake (another reformed side) but we never gave in. In the second half only 3 goals were
conceded and Phil Welsby was unlucky not to score on a couple of occasions. Andy Gouldby added his
name to the growing injury list. He hobbled from the pitch in the second half to reduce us further after
starting with 10 players. He would play no further part on the playing side.
A week later in a cup match, we succumbed 5-4 to Gunton, riding high in Division 3. This was a good
indication of the imbalance in the lower 2 divisions: lose 10-0 to a Division 4 side one week, then match a
Division 3 side the next. Phil Welsby was the hero, scoring all four Haddock goals in a devastating display
of clinical finishing. This performance alone deserved a better result, though the whole team battled
admirably under the watchful eye of new caretaker manager Gouldby. Trailing 4-2 in the second half, we
looked down and out until Bagshaw eventually squared for Welsby after a comical scramble, to complete
his hat-trick. He added a fourth minutes later and we were looking set for extra-time until a close-range
header with two minutes to go ended another cup dream.
The excellent all-weather facilities at Kirkley High School provided the setting for a mid-week friendly
match on the 19th against Essex and Suffolk Water. In-form striker, Phil Welsby, scored the only goal of
the game, slotting home after good work on the right flank by debutante Mark Belchier. Mark was another
signing from Leicester University, following in the footsteps of the legendary Iain Staniland. Jon Elson
donned the goalkeeper’s jersey for the second time this season and was arguably the man of the match.
New caretaker manager Marc Scriven was pleased with this good, all round effort.
With snow and ice sweeping the land at the end of the year, the encounter with Scott’s Brewing turns out
to be our last game of 1996. It almost ended on a high note as, once again, a goal in the last few minutes
snatched defeat from the jaws of a draw. As in the cup match against Gunton, we fought back from a 2
goal deficit - Matt Sherlock and then goal machine Phil Welsby levelled the scores. A late goal direct from
a free-kick sent us home pointless again.
January 1997
A painful 12-2 defeat at the hands of a well-organised Burnt Hill to start the year. Kins Leonard and Phil
Welsby were the scorers. Once again bad weather and the fact that most of our league opponents were
still involved in cup matches reduced our fixtures for the month.

Page 2 of 4
 CEFAS FOOTBALL DIARY 96/97 SEASON
February
Our points total for the season was doubled as we romped to a 7-4 victory over lowly Suffolk Punch. Much
jubilation at CEFAS as we have discovered a team who are worse than us. Our recent acquisition, Lee
Thompson, scored 5 fine goals, breaking Phil Welsby’s record of 4 in a match. The pick of a high quality
goal-feast was a powerful header on the run, latching onto Jason Bagshaw’s curling cross. David Maxwell
and Jason Bagshaw were the other goalscorers. Bagshaw made his bid to receive this season’s ‘Marchal’
(football’s equivalent of the Oscars) for his amazing missed header on the goal line in the second half.
With many absentees and injuries we are finding it difficult to field a full side and have to withdraw from
two matches. This causes our points total to drop to zero.
March
An inauspicious start to the month as the team lose 10-0 against Star Athletic but this setback was
followed by Haddock Split’s third league win of the season. The new caretaker boss, Matt Allison, named a
squad of 14 and all played their part in a comfortable 4-1 victory against Etceteras. The midfield quartet of
David Maxwell, Ben Taylor, Matt Sherlock and Jason Bagshaw dominated the match, providing the
ammunition for Welsby and Thompson.
Confidence was high for the match against Corton Hut, a team we had already beaten once. This was soon
dispelled with a goal in the first few minutes. Although trailing 2-0 at half-time after a lacklustre 45
minutes, we still thought we could turn the game round. A glut of chances were spurned as we dominated
the second half. When David Maxwell scored with a header, assisted by Matthew ‘Goldenknee’ Eagle, we
looked likely to win the game. However, Corton Hut scored a third on a rare break and the game was
effectively over. A disappointing 3-1 defeat in a match we should have won.
Next up were Lovewell Blake, one of the toughest fixtures of the year. This match was approached with
some trepidation after the cup match in December. In glorious spring weather, captain Matt Sherlock
marshalled a revolutionary two-sweeper system that gave little away. Though the result was never in
question, 3 of the 4 goals conceded were from corners. Blythe had his best match for Haddock Split in
goal and Mark Etherton scored a tremendous consolation goal towards the end. It was reminiscent of
Ronnie Radford’s classic goal for Hereford against Newcastle in the F.A. Cup - only this time the pitch
wasn’t invaded by hundreds of identical green ‘snorkel’ coats. A 4-1 defeat was a good result against
quality opposition.
April
On the 4th of April 1997, Haddock Split reached their first ever final. Due to several withdrawals and
fortunate byes, we were due to play a Civil Service semi-final against Building Research Establishments,
Watford. They were also forced to pull out only days before the match, so we were in the final without
playing a match. Rumours were quickly scotched that caretaker boss Allison had ordered his beige suit and
was practising a David Pleat-style mincing run. All we had to do now was make an appalling record with
Chas and Dave.
More joy for Haddock Split on Sunday as we gain swift revenge over Corton Hut with a 2-1 victory. Lee
Thompson scored, ably assisted by Phil Welsby on both occasions. Our first half was one of our best of the
season with fluent attacking football and confident passing. Honestly.
This good form continued the next week and then was cruelly cut short in the most bizarre fashion.
Leading 2-0 at half-time against third-placed Mutford, we looked on the way to recording a famous victory,
on a par with the 1-0 defeat of Corton Seltic Res last year. Then, barely a minute into the second half, Matt
Eagle used the crossbar to slow his hurtling progress into the back of our net as we tracked back to cover a
Mutford attack. The crossbar groaned, decided it would be better off having a lie down and then snapped
in the middle. The match was abandoned, we were thwarted and Mutford were off the hook. In keeping
with the strange nature of the game, when Thompson was fouled after rounding the keeper, the penalty
appeal was turned down by the referee because in his words, “he didn’t stay down long enough”. Cheers.
Returned from holiday to read of an 8-0 defeat at the hands of Burnt Hill.

Page 3 of 4
 CEFAS FOOTBALL DIARY 96/97 SEASON
Mutford again were the opponents at Normanston Park next week although this time the match was
completed to schedule. Another 8-0 drubbing and a massive swing from our 2-0 advantage two weeks
ago.
May
May 1st: Election Day and Civil Service Cup Final day. Much excitement as we travel to Framlingham for
our match against Chelmsford prison officers. We battled gamely in the first half but our opponents
superior fitness and skill showed in the second as we lost our deposit and went down to an 8-0 landslide.
Stalwart defender Richard Keeler was sidelined for the rest of the season with a knee injury. At least we all
received medals for our efforts and are not all now looking for alternative employment as the result of
defeat.
The highlight of a desperately poor performance against Whitton the following Sunday was Ant Espindola’s
first goal for the club. Marc Scriven drew the opposition defence forward, then slipped an inch perfect
pass through to Ant who blasted home an early equaliser. Phil Welsby tapped home a second but by then
7 more goals had been conceded. On a scale of all things dreadful, we hovered between ‘food poisoning’
and ‘Noel’s House Party’.
Things improved greatly at Corton in midweek as we took on the league leaders, Corton Seltic Reserves,
already promoted to Division 3. After going behind after half an hour, Grant Course kept a cool head to
place an equaliser through a crowded penalty area minutes later. We held our own but two quick headed
goals in the second half made it an uphill struggle. Everyone battled hard for the remainder of the game
but Corton ran out 3-1 winners. One of our best games of the season.
With two games to be played until the end of the season, thoughts were turning to cricket - long summer
evenings, crack of leather on arm, Phil Welsby’s enormous hat, silly points and excellent teas at Ringsfield.
These thoughts were soon dispelled by a hideous drubbing at the hands of Mutford. We played with ten
men but it seemed like five. ‘Awful. Woeful’, as Alan Green might say.
The season ended on May 29th with a match against Lovewell Blake. They only required a point to be
promoted as champions and were on the way to achieving that goal well before half time. At the break
they led 5-0 and in the second half, although we didn’t exactly ‘shut up shop’, we certainly reduced our
opening hours and only conceded a couple more.
That could well have been Haddock Split’s last league game. We exhausted the supply of caretaker
managers and no volunteers have stepped forward to take over the reigns. Thanks are due to everyone
who turned up to play despite the likelihood of a thrashing and in particular Marc Scriven for acting as
secretary, which consisted of tasks too numerous and too dull to mention, and Matt Allison for taking on
the responsibilities of team selection and kit duties. We now look forward to the season’s glories being
remembered and embellished for presentation at the annual football club dinner.
1996/97 (CEFAS past and present) players: Matt Allison, Jon Elson, Kevin Keable, Dan Kinsman, Matt Dunn,
Marc Scriven, Ben Taylor, Kins Leonard, Paul Marchal, Gareth Getvoldsen, Andy Gouldby, Jason Bagshaw,
Phil Welsby, Matt Eagle, Matt Sherlock, Mark Etherton, Antony Espindola, David Maxwell, Nick Page, Mark
Belchier, Mike Smith, Trevor Bailey, Brett Lyons, Simon Prince, Grant Course.

Page 4 of 4