Training and professional

development in the teaching career

Drobot Loredana

The counsellors skills are the basis of the strategies used for the duration of the
counselling process. We present briefly the specialists skills in the integrative counselling,
skills necessary to conduct an effective counselling. The skills presented are specified in the
model of integrative counselling offered by Culley, S. Bond, T. (2007). We consider
important the cultivation and practice of the skills mentioned, because they are useful in any
form of counselling and psychotherapy. The authors of the pattern consider that there are
defined three stages of counselling: initial, middle and final, each stage being characterized
by its goals and strategies necessary to carry out therapeutic intervention.
It is noted that in the next texts C means the customer and T means the therapist,
specialized in counselling or therapy.
We also refer to integrative counselling as a specialized form of counselling that
should form the basis of the advice offered by the models in social work, specifying the skills
needed for good advice.

1.1. The skills of listening and paying attention

The ability to listen and to be careful subsumes in fact the other two skills, for
example, we can listen to, but it does not mean that we are attentive to what we hear. A
counsellor can listen to the customer and not being attentive to what the customer says. In
counselling the attention is considered the basis of listening for customers observation and it
is how the counsellor communicates non-verbally with the customer, in fact he shall notify
the customer that he is interested in the problem presented. By addressing the client, the
counsellor shall show him that he accepts, understands and is honest with him.
The advisor shows the customer that he is careful through:
the posture adopted - must be opened, comfortable. The counsellors chair or armchair is
next to the customers armchair and the counsellor will stand erect, relaxed;
eye contact - will be maintained throughout the counselling session, but during the
conversation he will not insist on fixing the customer. In fact, the counsellor must show the
customer that every time he is being looked at he is being listened, carefully watched;

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 facial expression translates the counsellors feelings to what the customers tells, for
example, if the client speaks of success then the specialist watches him with admiration.
However, if the customer cries it is not recommended for the advisor to begin to cry...;
spatial position - requires the specialist to sit at a suitable distance of up to two seats,
seats; the chairs or armchairs must have an equal height. It is recommended that when
working with a couple, all players must be able to easily look. Face-to-face position is
perceived as a position of confrontation, preparing for the attack.
By the attention given to the customer, the counsellor shows that he is interested by
the problem presented and that he is willing to give him his support in solving the problem.
Customer observation allows the counsellor to gather more information about the
customer, how he is dressed, the tone of his voice, the gestures and posture to adopt, all of
them can confirm or refute the customers accounts. The counsellor will learn to interpret the
clues provided by the customer, for example, the customer can laugh when he feels pain or
raise his eyes or talk nervously. The exploration of customers manifestations is done by
analyzing inconsistency between the verbal and nonverbal behaviour of the customer. One of
the roles of the adviser is to inform the customer of the meanings of his behaviour at the
appropriate time.
The counsellor shows the customer that he is listening to him and if necessary he will
intervene and communicate the customer what he has heard. The counsellor will be careful
and will analyze the information on their experiences, feelings, thoughts and behaviours of
the client.
To listen to the silence is also a skill that the counsellor learns during the counselling
session and he practices it with each of his customers. The communication between the
counsellor and the customer continues even when the two cue; the silence can be perceived
as a way to talk... Some therapists and counsellors say that the silent disruptions in
counselling must be avoided and the discussion with the client is expected to continue.
Silence can be used creatively to create a balance between supporting clients by word and by
providing space for client reflection.
Silence interruption by the counsellor is achieved through the formulation of
questions. Even if the questions are straightforward, however, they are less intrusive than the
wording of questions focused on the content and helps to explore current customer
experience.
Exploring their own reactions, feelings, thoughts by the counsellor because only
like that the counsellor succeeds to understand better what is happening with the customer. In

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some cases the counsellor may share his feelings about the customer and to analyse them
with the customer. The exploring in question helps the customer to understand in the future
the reactions of the others towards him or why some relationships are distant.
Listening filters like in normal speech, not even the counsellor listens disinterested to
the information received from the client. The barriers to active listening are determined
within counselling by:
- the customers culture helps the counsellor to better understand the customer.
Customers come from different cultural backgrounds, and that is why rules and values are
difficult to overcome. If the specialist encounters difficulties in relation to the customer, from
cultural reasons, the customer is recommended to another adviser with similar past and
cultural background as the customer;
- the values of the counsellor should not be imposed to the customer, the counsellor does
not judge the life of the customer nor how he lives his life;
- the personal problems of the counsellor should be left aside, they should not be
manifested in the counselling office, because the customer needs a comfortable space for
expression.
Other barriers to active listening of the customer come from the counsellor attitude
on:
- the preparation in advance of a response to customer replies;
- seeking confirmation for their own assumptions and ignoring the information received from
the customer, that contradict the assumptions of the counsellor;
- the defensive attitude of the counsellor when the customer tries to correct him;
- the anxiety of the counsellor due to the facts related by the customer;
- trying to find a solution to the customers problem, because the counsellor's temperament is
action-oriented.
In conclusion, understanding the customer is given by active listening and awareness
of the existing filters in obedience, but simply listening to the customer is not sufficient, th
counsellor should answer his customer as a confirmation that he, the customer was heard and
understood.

1.2. Reflexive skills

Using reflective skills, the counsellor communicates his understanding towards
everything the client is telling in counselling, as a person and as a verbal material. Through
counsellors communication, internal reference of counselling is made and with the help of

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reasoning skills, skill necessary to express the counsellors perspective on the customer, the
external reference is formed. The counsellor argues when he wishes to influence the direction
of the session or when he wishes to find out new information from the customer.
The counsellor needs reflective skills to build a proper environment for the
communication in counselling, to develop the confidence in the counsellor, to encourage
explanations and to discourage the premature focus of customers attention on irrelevant
subjects. With the reflective skills, the counsellor seeks the customers thoughts and feelings,
he can check whether or not he has understand the customer and he may impose a direction
to the reference.
The reflexive skills are:
repetition allows the counsellor to emphasize certain words or short phrases used
by the counsellor.
The counsellor repeated a single word, but highly charged emotionally and he
encouraged formulating a response from the customer. Word repetition was not intrusive, it
allowed a targeted response.
Repetition is known as a repetition of a single word in the form of a question and the
counsellor adopts an interrogative tone, but there are not excluded the variations in which the
counsellor repeats the question as a full expression to return the customer on the safe
direction of the conversation, because the customer is lost in his stories. The counsellor must
be careful not to use abusive repetition, because the interview can be narrowed and blocked.
paraphrasing involves reformulating the message sent by the customer in the
counselling session. Paraphrasing shows the customer that he is heard and the counsellor
understands his intentions and viewpoints. The goals of paraphrasing from the counsellors
point of view are:
- to verify his perception on the customers accounts;
- to validate the empathic understanding shown by the customer;
- to obtain information about how the customer perceives himself, because paraphrasing is a
way to gather information about a customer without requiring a direction to the customer;
- to build a therapeutic relationship based on trust, because the customer feels ashamed,
vulnerable in front of the counsellor, and by paraphrasing the customer realizes that he is not
indifferent to the counsellor.
Paraphrasing is very important in the early stage of the counselling because it allows
the customer to hear again what he has told, being able to understand and modify the story.
Developing the ability to paraphrase involves attention and active listening from the

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counsellor. By paraphrasing, the adviser gets involved in relation with the customer, he
communicates the fact that he understands him without the use of arguments or conclusions.
Paraphrasing is a good way to help the customer to clarify what they mean and to understand
himself better.
Culley, S. and Bond, T. (2007) provide a necessary guide to the counsellor when he
wants to use paraphrasing:
- to provide a clear perception to the customer on the facts related;
- to avoid the definition of the facts told by the customer;
- not to judge, not to be sarcastic, to be respectful with the customer;
- not to imitate the customer using the same words, to use their own words in paraphrase;
- not to make additions because the customer, if he feels the need, will evaluate and make
interpretations;
- to be short and direct in paraphrase;
- to keep a steady tone of voice.
summarizing or resuming the customers story by the counsellor constitutes in
fact longer paraphrases and helps the counsellor to observe the counselling sessions in an
organized manner. The counsellors summaries of the first phase of the counselling process
emphasize the focus of attention on the customer without including the assumptions of the
counsellor. The useful summaries are brief, coherent and providing a clear vision of the
counselling work undertaken until now.
The goals of summarizing from the counselling point of view are:
- to clarify the customer's feelings, but the counsellor must verify if he had understood the
customers problem and then make a summary of the customers story;
- to provide the customer opportunities to correct the misunderstandings, to add or to rethink
the story;
- to complete the counselling session in order to confirm what the customer agreed to, before
the next session;
- to provide a point of discussion in the next counselling session;
- to emphasize certain aspects of the session, the customers often need help to sort out their
priorities, so the counsellor will organize the content of the counselling speech to assist the
customer. The counsellor will make assumptions about what was said or omitted by the
customer, only thus will be able to identify themes and maps that guide the customers world;
- to continue the therapy with the customer. The counsellor should emphasize the direction in
which a client will take the discussion to avoid unnecessary subjects and sterile approach.

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 Gilmore mentioned two types of summaries or abstracts needed by a counsellor:
- summary that allows the choice of topics in several subjects presented chaotic by the
customer. During the counselling session there can be identified several themes or the
customer has several facets of the problem. The counsellor, in such a situation, helps the
customer make a choice, which involves identifying the various aspects of the problem by
formulating an introductory summary and then ask the customer to verbally support the
choice.
- summary which builds a basic perceptual perspective on issues considered important in the
life of the customer. The counsellor notices if during the sessions the customer emphasizes
certain things or he repeats them in the session. The notion of basic perceptual perspective
reflects precisely those aspects highlighted by the customer, but those outlined by the
customer may vary from one session to another.
The counsellor gave a brief summary to explain his customer's concern, then he
managed to negotiate the contract of the session. The ideas that the counsellor wishes to
present are made with great care and they ask the customer to comment them, the customer
may not agree with them, he can comment them, so the first reaction of the customer may be
a defensive one.

1.3. Argumentative skills

By arguments, the counsellor states his perception on the importance of the
customers story by manifesting some necessary skills to control the expression of the
counselling session, becoming more directly than when using paraphrasing or summarizing.
The counsellor addresses the customer when using argumentative skills in passive or
interrogative manner, in the form of questionnaires, to ask questions. The category of
interrogative skills includes interviewing the client in the form of questions. The counsellors
questions may be:
a) opened, to encourage the customer to engage, to answer a Yes or No response
and beginning with the interrogative pronouns like what? where? how? who?
It is recommended that the specialist avoids questions too opened; such errors are
seen in therapists and junior counsellors. The customer finds it difficult to formulate answers
to questions too opened from an exploration, because important is the exploration which is
lost through customers care to give an answer.
b) hypothetical, which invite the customer to make assumptions and to explicit what
he imagines. Hypothetical questions are still opened questions, but inviting the customer to

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speculate on the future and the possible consequences due to counselling sessions. Changing
the customer may be blocked or delayed because of fears and fantasies; therefore, the role of
the hypothetical questions formulated by the therapist is to be explored safely. If fears and
fantasies take a verbal form, then they can work on them. Hypothetical questions also help
the customers to imagine the results of the actions. The counsellor addresses questions
according to the situations exposed by the customer. The counsellor asks the client to build
images, and by exploring those images, there are produces insights on the issues avoided by
the customer.
c) type why?. Questions like why are not recommended to be used too often,
because the customer comes to counselling to answer himself to such questions. The question
at issue does not block the customer and helps him to find new possibilities for action. Some
customers are not interested to understand why and will not seek answers in the past, they
are interested only to understand their current dysfunctional behaviour.
d) closed, are used to invite customers to answer yes or no, without requiring an
exploration of the customer and in the case of chatty customers they determine getting a sure
answer. Frequent use of closed questions leads to position the customer in a vicious circle,
because the customer will say even less, without being encouraged to develop what he says.
The counselling session will resemble a test session and the client will think that if he gets
the correct answer, he will find the solution to his problem.
The effects of the counsellors questions the customer may have both positive and
negative meanings. As positive effects of the questions there are mentioned:
a) customers focus to formulate specific responses;
b) opening new perspectives for the customer;
c) collecting new information;
d) increasing the counsellors control on the client even if the questions are opened.
The excessive use of questions has negative effects too, turns the counselling session
into a series of questions and answers, the customers are not encouraged to talk about what's
important, they become indifferent because they answer to irrelevant questions or they will
feel uncomfortable. In this case, the counsellor is concerned with questions, instead of being
attentive and listening to the customer.
Formulating responses offered to the customer by the counsellor
Sometimes, the customer manifests resistance to the counsellors questions,
formulating questions or simply asking the counsellor in a straightforward manner if he is
unclear, but it takes courage for this. It is recommended the specialist to answer the

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customers questions. The customers questions do not need a direct or immediate answer
from the counsellor, but, by no means, the counsellor does not tell the customer how and
what to think, especially in the first counselling session when the customer urges advices.
The counsellors responses depend on several factors:
- what the customer wants to hear;
- what happened before the counselling session;
- what is hiding behind the customers question;
- the information the customer needs;
- what the counsellor believes to be a good answer in counselling;
- how robust or vulnerable is the customer;
- what resources the customer has to cope with the crisis in his life, etc..
Formulating declarations by the counsellor
The statements are easy arguments used by the counsellor when the questions seem
intrusive. The statements are required to collect information, just like the questions. The
customer is invited to pursue by making statements, talking about thoughts, feelings and
behaviours, focusing on the transfer of meaning from vague to concrete from the others to
him. The declarations allow the counsellor to direct exploration easier especially if the
customer seems defensive and resistant to advice.
The importance of skills in counselling/therapy
The skills presented are fundamental to successful intervention and the specialist
needs to know the skills he masters better. If the specialist is committed to opened questions,
then reflective practice skills are recommended. All those skills help the counsellor to adopt
the strategy of being practical in his approach. The active listening of the customer is the
basis for tracking the level of specificity used by the customer in his speech. Therefore, in
order to discover the significance of his feelings, the customer must first discover what he
feels and a practical discussion is recommended to distinguish between feelings. The easiest
way to help the customer to speak concrete is for the specialist to offer practical experience.

Exercise: The first counseling session

Defreezing ice breaking exercises
- Personal characterization in three adjecives;
- The ball game: when the ball gets to a person, he/she will say a sentence: I am;
- Starting a story and continued by another person in 2 sentences;
Interventions during the story with an emphasis on emotionality.

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The first counselling session:
- Chairs positioning;
- Trainer (=Counsellor) + a volunteer (=client);
- Ongoing discussion.
Analyssis:
- The stages of the session;
- Language analissis;
- Weakening the consciousness;
- Duble legturi contient/incontient;
- The integration of body / emotions / physiological / behavioral;
- C.A.T. transactions analysis;
- Permanent client-counsellor feedback.

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