UNIVERSITY OF SANTO TOMAS

The Catholic University of the Philippines

COLLEGE OF SCIENCE

Espana, Manila

An Autobiographical Term Paper

Submitted in Partial Fulfillment of the Requirements in

Marriage and Family (SCL9)

Submitted to

Asst. Prof. ENRIQUE M. JAMILLA

by

LIANE EMERIE T. LOMIO

BS Biology, 4Bio2

10 December 2017
 As a child, I didnt know much about love as I focused more on studying and being with

my friends. I thought then that love is all about having a boyfriend and things like that, I

happened to realize that love was in everything that we do not just about having a boyfriend. I

can say that my family accepts everything and everyone in the family as long as we do the right

thing. My parents are very affectionate towards each other, but I would say otherwise when it

comes to their children. My father is not really an affectionate person, it would usually seem that

he doesnt care much about the people around him. But my mother is somewhat different, she is

the sweet, loving, and caring kind of person. I act differently depending on who I am around

with. I act different when Im with my family, friends, and partner. I would say that the way I act

around my partner is the kind of person the I prefer most about myself, the loving, caring, and

sweet kind. I prefer a partner who is warmly affectionate, lacking affection and attention from

both parents I prefer someone who is warm, loving, and affectionate. I used to not want any

children because I dont think I can raise them properly or that I will not become a good parent.

But because of my partner, he changed how I see things. He brought out the side of me that is

caring, loving, sweet, kind, and affectionate. Because of him, I saw things differently now. I

think I can be responsible enough to someday have kids and that I will become a good parent

especially having the background of being the eldest among my siblings and I.

At the early age of 6, I was already aware of the malicious world but I didnt quite

understand what it was or how it functions. I did not know what sex was at the time, but I can

say that I was not that ignorant of what was out there in the world. As a student, sex education

was part of our curriculum in high school. I got most of what I know about sex there, but that

was not all, I learned more about what it was the hard way. I learned my way around this world
by gathering information by myself, either by reading, by what my peers talk about, or by

experience. Through time I was able to learn that sex is not all about pleasure, it is about creating

a connection with your partner. It is about being open towards each other and being one with

your partner as you make love. The church prohibit premarital sex, but with this new generation

young people becomes more and more curious of what it is that they experiment to satisfy their

curious minds or just do it for social or peer acceptance. Being in is the new cool, so as they

say. What I expect my partner towards sex is to treat it the same way I see it, that it is not about

the pleasure or thirst it satisfies, but to treat is as something out of love and respect.

My parents have been married for 19 years now and I can say that they still have a vital

and fruitful marriage. Yes, they would fight from time to time but they will make up when the

anger subsides. My mother would sometimes yell and cry when shes mad, while my father

would just stay silent. As a kid, I did not quite understand why he was not saying anything,

wondering if he doesnt care of what was happening. Growing up, I began to understand what he

was doing, he was trying not to heighten my mothers anger by just letting her speak up her mind

and let her release all her emotions. By doing this, he prevents having arguments that will just

lead to longer fights. But most of the time, I would see them like an old couple; hugging each

other while watching the television, talking about their work, teasing and tickling each other,

planning what to do for the future of the family, going on trips together, and just being there for

each other. Going back to my childhood, we were not very close as a family. My parents are

busy at work, my father being strict and not that affectionate towards his children, and my

mother being kind, sweet, and caring. My three younger brothers who were noisy and annoying,
and then there was me having anger issues and going through phases. We had a really twisted

relationship as a family, but despite everything we would always still be there for each other.

Being busy with work and academics we find it difficult to catch up with each other. But

when we do get the chance to have a get together we would have a family trip and just enjoy

each others company. I remembered when I was 9 years old I told my parents that I was in top 2

of my class. That was the first time that I got to be in the top 5. My parents rewarded me by

taking the whole family to dinner at Macapagal, a dampa restaurant, and there we ate a lot of

tempura. When I was 16, just right before my favorite cousin migrated to California, we went

island hopping in Marinduque. It was a fun day until we got stranded in the middle of the sea,

while it was raining hard, at 7:00 in the evening, because our engine broke. It was a scary yet fun

experience, there was no light and it was all wobbly because of the large waves. My cousin and I

just had a heart-to-heart that time. I miss her. All the experiences I had with my family is

something that I will always treasure and keep to remind me that there will always be someone

out there who will stay and love me no matter what.

Just like any other relationships, even married people would sometimes quarrel even about

the simplest of things. As I have said before, they settle their arguments after their anger has

subsided and they would start to talk with each other in a normal way again. I would say that my

parents marriage is categorized to be democratic. They are not only partners because they are

married but they are like best friends and trust each other with everything. In our family it is not

only the father who makes the decisions for the family but the voice of the mother is also heard.

In my current relationship, may it be with my parents, siblings, friends, or with my partner, I tend
to be democratic. I want to hear both sides of the story, I dont want my voice to be the only

thing I hear but I also want to know their part. In arguments it shouldnt be one sided, both

parties have the right to defend themselves and to give resolutions to conflicts. This is the same if

I am to someday marry. Theres a famous stereotype going around that being a woman in a

relationship makes it socially acceptable to be right all the time, which is wrong in my opinion. If

I were to be married someday, I will treat settling conflicts in a democratic and peaceful way.

Hearing your partners side and settling things maturely will lead to a fruitful and peaceful

relationship. And if I were to have children I will settle things a bit differently, yes it will still be

in a democratic way but I will also show it in a bit of authoritarian. Children nowadays tend to be

disrespectful to their parents, but in my days children show respect out of fear. I will settle

arguments with my children in a peaceful manner, letting them tell their sides will teach them

that I respect them and I expect to be respected in return.

Looking back six years ago, I would say that I didnt have a healthy relationship with my

siblings. We would sometimes play and laugh together, but most often we would fight and yell

mean things, wont care for each others being, and sometimes wont talk like nobody else exists.

When we were kids, I would always get what I want. My siblings respected me out of fear. I was

a bad sister to them, I would say and do mean things just to get my way. But as the years pass by,

I grew tired of being mean. I started to change my attitude towards them and started to be nicer,

more generous, kinder, one step at a time. Now, I am much more open to them, approachable,

more generous and kinder. I realized that the people around me will someday disappear and

leave me, but I know that my family, especially my siblings, will always have my back. Being

the eldest doesnt do me any much good as to being the youngest. Being the eldest means being a
role model, living up to your parents expectations, and all the responsibilities I am expected to

handle.

During vacations or long weekends we would often go to our province in Marinduque and

stay in our farm from 3 days to 1 week. We would go there usually during New Year, Holy

Week, and long weekends. During Christmas, we would often make leche flan, from a family

recipe, in big batches which will last us until New Year. We celebrate New Years with my

family on my fathers side because January 1 is my grandmothers birthday. And we usually

celebrate Christmas day with my family on my mothers side. On Christmas day, we would start

opening presents, the presents are not actually ours but for our parents from their officemates.

After opening, we would call dibs on some of the presents. My siblings and I dont get much

presents as we grew older, sometimes not even aguinaldos. On New Year, we would light up

fireworks and watch them rocket up to the sky and see them explode into different colors in the

sky. We have been doing these rituals as you might say for as long as I remember, I think that

this will continue in the future.

Through my 19 years of existence, I would often see life in a negative way. I often found

myself expecting negative things to come in my life because every time I get too excited over

something or expect something great to happen, the outcome is always the opposite of what I

expected. I lived life in anxiety because whenever I get my hopes up I always end up being

disappointed. I have noticed this for quite a while now, and since then I saw life in a different

and unfair way. Since I was a kid I always trusted people no matter what, but they dont seem to

trust me back. I dont really know whats the problem? Im usually shy and quiet, but whenever
people need someone to talk to Im always there to listen to them, Im the shoulder they cry on,

and give advices whenever needed. Im the one whos always there for people, but they never

seem to be there for me when I needed them. I always feel sad whenever I think that I have

nobody to run to whenever Im troubled. I consider myself as a rebel and somehow a conformist.

I obey what my parents say to me because I know that they only want whats best for me and to

set a good example to my siblings. But sometimes I am a rebel, not stopping until I get what I

want. Even my friends would sometimes kid me saying, What Liane wants, Liane gets. This is

something that I dont even know if it is bad or good. Whenever I want something I dont stop

until I get it, its the drive of my passion and pride that gets me going. When I dont get what I

want I would often get mad, sad, or disappointed, I feel useless and that my pride feels stepped

on. This is why I would do everything I can just to get what I want. Living in this world, it

requires you to be practical. To survive in this animalistic world you have to be practical at all

times. To get where you want to be sometimes youll make mistakes and get to step on people,

but this is how the world works now. Being practical is what will save you.

I have been in a lot of relationships throughout the years and through experience and

preference I have formulated my ideal mate. Being humans, we have our preferences on how we

see others as attractive or not. I want someone that is attractive, taller than me, knows how to

fight, tough looking but soft on the inside, a gentleman, someone who knows how to listen and

respect me, and especially someone with a great smile. These are some of the traits I look for in a

partner. Would such a person be attracted to me? I would say yes because my ideal guy is my

partner right now, and I would say that hes someone more, greater than what my ideal guy is. I
would say that I am very lucky and blessed to have him in my life. For those asking the famous

line, Bakit hindi ka crush ng crush mo?, all I can proudly say is that my crush likes me back.

I dont think I quite understand who I am right now. I find it amazing as to other people

know me better than I know myself. I would often be found amazed whenever people tell facts

about me. Im still looking for myself, looking for my purpose, my reason in life. But even

though Im still confused of what I am doing with my life I gave myself goals to achieve to give

my life reason and direction. For now, my main goals are to graduate, to enter a renowned

medical school, to become a great surgeon, to marry the love of my life and to have a family of

my own, and to be happy and contented in life. As a person, we all have our values or principles

in life. Mine would be, love, passion, trustworthiness, contentment, and selflessness. Being

selfless means to prioritize the needs of others than of your own, I have always wanted to serve

my countrymen, help them in the way I could not just for my own benefit but for their

betterment. Contentment means being satisfied with what I have in life. Humans tend to be

greedy and want to horde everything for themselves. Trustworthiness is something I have been

having troubles lately. Scarred with experiences, I find it hard to trust people. I just keep

everything inside waiting for the day that I will explode. But then, recently I found someone

whom I am very comfortable to be with, I trust him with everything I have, and I am very lucky

to have him. Passion is what keeps me determined. As a student, I often find myself questioning

my purpose. It has been hard with all the lessons, examinations, and requirements that I would

sometimes think of giving up. But being passionate of what you do and what your goals in life

will help you stand up and continue the long journey you have started. And last is love,

everything we do as humans is nothing without love. In life, what I fear the most is being alone
and forgotten. I feel really bad whenever people leave me as if I am not important to them. It has

always been hard to find friends that who will be there to stay and understand you no matter

what comes to life. Acquiring these goals, values, and fears didnt just came to me one night

while I type this requirement in SCL, I acquired them through life experiences, may it be good or

bad.

Growing up has been a great factor for teaching me a few things about life. I can say that i

like the person who I am today than when I was a child. Having experiences does make you into

a better person than you were before. I am much more confident, kinder, more generous, more

open, I learned to trust people more now, to be independent, strong, determined, affectionate, and

loving.

As I grow up, I expect that I will change more into a better person. There are still a lot of

things that I want to change about myself like being lazy, my commitment issues, cramming

deadlines, and such. I know that someday I will be able to change myself more each day for my

own betterment as a person, a friend, a sister, a daughter, and especially as a partner. Right now,

my best friend is my partner, and if I were to die right now I would say that you should live a

great and fruitful life. Not everything will be gone without me, you still have your friends and

family. Cherish every moment with them and live life to the fullest. I know that I will always be

in your heart, never forget me. I love you. Those will be my last words to him.