BAR/BAT MITZVAH

Jewish Standard S-3

WINTER
2018
 KOSHER
FOOD
OPTIONS
FOR
PARTIES!

OPEN JUMP EVERYDAY |www.

urbanai
rsh.
com |i
nfo@ur
banai
rsh.
com

C E LE B R A T E Y O U R

B
AR/B
ATM
IT
ZV
AH
CALL OUR PARTY LI
NE AT 201-212-6454

396 Ryders Ln,Mi

lltown,NJ 08850

69 W esl
ey St,South Hackensack,NJ 07606
 Jewish Standard S-3

The cantor’s daughter..................................... 4

A mother beams from beyond the bima

Legacy gifts..................................................... 6
Meaningful presents for the b’nei mitzvah

The joy of the process..................................... 8

How I loved planning my daughter’s bat mitzvah

Space goes to your space............................... 9

Event company launches an off-site division

Why I cried at your bar mitzvah................... 10

A mother’s revelations as her boy becomes a man

Fash bash for the big mitzvah....................... 11

Mitzvah on Masada....................................... 12
Tour group offers memorable Israel trip and ceremony
Places and spaces.......................................... 13        
Area venues give parties pizzazz
Cover photo by Joanne DiStasi of Stolen Moments, Inc.

MEADOWLANDS RACING & ENTERTAINMENT

Your one-stop resource to plan the perfect Bar or Bat Mitzvah!

Sunday, March 11
12 NOON - 4 PM

We’re more than horses. Come out to our Mitzvah Showcase 2018 to see what makes us a
state-of-the-art venue! Explore all of our unique spaces including the impressive Victory
Sports Bar & Club, with its massive customizable screens and premier lighting effects.
Network with our preferred vendors and sample delicious selections from our gourmet chefs.
FREE TO ATTEND for guests who register at playmeadowlands.com/mitzvah
 The family gathers for Jordana Fergang’s bat mitzvah

The cantor’s daughter

at Temple Beth Rishon in Wyckoff. From left: her
mother, Cantor Barbra Lieberstein, brother Joshua
Fergang, maternal grandmother Gloria Lieberstein,
Jordana, sister Sara Fergang, and father, Scott Fergang.
Joanne DiStasi of Stolen Moments, Inc.

A mother beams from beyond the bima

Heidi MaE Bratt Lieberstein, who had invited many of her the service.” family struck a more Conservative note

P
oised, pretty and bedecked
in a beautiful black and pink
dress, Jordana Fergang per-
formed with aplomb. Stand-
ing before family and friends
at Temple Beth Rishon in
Wyckoff, the seventh grader at Eric Smith
Middle School presided over the Shab-
bat services. She led the prayer services,
chanted from the Torah, and read the
whole haftorah.
It was a moment of great pride for her
tutor, Cantor Barbra Lieberstein.
It was a moment of great pride for her
mother, Cantor Barbra Lieberstein.
“She did phenomenal,” said Ms. Lieber-
stein, a popular bar and bat mitzvah tutor,
best known as “Cantor Barbra,” who had
the opportunity to teach her own daugh-
ter and prepare her for her recent bat
mitzvah where she recited the Torah por-
tion Lech Lecha.
“People were so impressed,” said Ms.
cantor colleagues to the bat mitzvah. “She
practically did the whole service. This
was my last opportunity, my last child,
and my baby. And, this is our last simcha
for a while. I wanted her to be spectacu-
lar. And she was.”
The day was a proud one for the whole
family, father Scott Fergang, who runs
the Paramus wealth management broker-
age firm for Royal Bank of Canada, and
13-year-old Jordana’s siblings, twins Sara
and Joshua, nearly 16.
The service was presided over by Con-
gregation Beth Rishon’s interim Rabbi Ste-
phen Wylen and Cantor Ilan Mamber.
Tutoring your own daughter is not
exactly like tutoring other students, said
Ms. Lieberstein.
“It’s obviously different tutoring your
own child,” she said. “I think there are
more expectations for her. I definitely
think I was a little harder on her than my
other students because I am a cantor and
I knew I would have colleagues coming to
For her part, Jordana, who dances with
a company when she’s not in school, hav-
ing her mother as tutor was great.
“I think it was a lot easier being taught
by my mother than by someone else,” Jor-
dana said. “It wasn’t as nerve-wracking. My
mother helped with highlighting and color-
coding everything. It just made it easier.
“It was also laid-back and chill. I could
be on my bed in my room and we could
study. She’s my mom and I wasn’t nervous
around her. And if I would forget some-
thing, she was right there to ask for help.
A lot of kids don’t have that advantage. She
would be there and that made it easier.”
Jordana acknowledged that it sometimes
wasn’t that easy.
“It is a challenge,” she said. “You need
to practice. It’s not easy to make a 12- or
13-year-old practice so much, but I did.”
Ms. Lieberstein remembered her own
bat mitzvah, which was held at her fam-
ily’s synagogue, the Orthodox Congrega-
tion Beth Tefillah in Paramus. While the
in their Jewish practice, they joined Beth
Tefillah during the 1970s, and Ms. Lieber-
stein described it as a very “heimish and
warm” place that welcomed her family:
her father the late Melvin Lieberstein, her
mother, Gloria, and her sister Rochelle,
who is five years older.
Her bat mitzvah took place when she
was 12 years old. It was Sunday, Labor
Day weekend, she recalled. She chanted
the “Ve’ahavta” prayer, one of the great
basic principles of the Torah “to love
your fellow as yourself,” spoke about the
significance of a bat mitzvah and, follow-
ing the service, joined the 75 people at
her party, which took place at The Wom-
en’s Club of Paramus for a luncheon with
musical entertainment.
“It was really a no-frills affair,” Ms.
Lieberstein said.
Musical from a young age, Ms. Lieber-
stein played the piano, clarinet and flute,
and she sang. In fact, her name Barbra
– note the missing “a” – was for Barbra
 Jewish Standard S-5

Streisand.
“Yes, my mother and father named me
for her,” said Ms. Lieberstein “I enjoyed
performing,” and at her bat mitzvah, Ms.
Lieberstein played the piano and sang Barry
Manilow songs to entertain her guests.
The bat mitzvah was a Jewish girl’s rite
of passage, but at that time she had no
idea about what in fact would become her
life’s work. “I didn’t know how women
could become cantors. I grew up in an
Orthodox synagogue where women were
speaking, sometimes just chatting, behind
the mechitza.”
After graduating Paramus High School,
Ms. Lieberstein attended William Pater-
son College, where she studied music

Joanne DiS tasi of Stole n M ome nts, Inc.

management. She thought that she might
work in arts administration. It wasn’t
until she attended a Passover Seder dur-
ing her college years and someone at the
table suggested that she consider becom-
ing a cantor that the thought took hold. A
trip to Israel with her parents soon there-
after deepened her connection to Juda-
ism and her journey began. She joined
the choral society at Temple Emanuel,
which was in Paterson at the time, now Barbra Lieberstein, left, and Scott, Sara, and Joshua Fergang watch as Jordana blows out the bat mitzvah candles.
Temple Emanuel of North Jersey in
Franklin Lakes.
Singing on Friday nights in the beautiful
sanctuary with is high ceilings and beau-
tiful stained glass deepened her desire to
pursue liturgical music and she sought out
her training in earnest. She studied with
the late Rabbi Joseph Rudavsky, who was
the rabbi emeritus of Temple Avodot Sho-
lom in River Edge. Cantor Barbra received
her ordination in 1998 from The Academy
for Jewish Religion, a pluralistic seminary
for rabbis and cantors in New York City.
She is also certified through the American
Conference of Cantors (Reform) and the
Cantors Assembly. (Conservative). She is
a member of the Women’s Cantors Net-
work and had sung with the NJ Cantors
Concert Ensemble.
The work came. She served as a canto-
rial intern and became the cantor in sev-
eral synagogues including Beth Haverim
Shir Shalom, a Reform Congregation in
Mahwah, where she served from 2002 to
Barbra Lieberstein is flanked by her parents, Gloria and the late Melvin, at Barbra Lieberstein with her older sister,
2006. At that time she already had twins,
her bat mitzvah. Rochelle Stern.
Sara, and Joshua, nearly 16, and Jordana
was just a toddler. started advertising on craigslist and got a just right for their big day. As for her own bat mitzvah, Jordana
She left the pulpit “because I wanted to few students. She launched her website in “I am a perfectionist,” she said. said that while she was “so nervous about
watch them grow up.” 2009 and business picked up. She tutors students in their homes in the service and nervous about the party”
From there, Ms. Lieberstein worked as Today, Ms. Lieberstein is so busy that Bergen and Rockland counties, and has she felt very good about what she accom-
preschool music teacher in a few religious she has a staff of 10 tutors who help her conducted lessons by Skype or Facetime. plished in the synagogue that day.
schools. During that time she received a prepare b’nei mitzvah students. But she Typically, she uses the Reform liturgy for “I don’t think that there was anything
call from a former congregant who needed still is very hands on. She meets with the Shabbat morning or Havdalah services, better that I could have done,” Jordana
help in preparing her daughter for her family and the student and comes in dur- but she has also performed in a Recon- said about her bat mitzvah at Beth Ris-
bat mitzvah. So Ms. Lieberstein began to ing the last six weeks before the bar or bat structionist synagogue setting and has also hon. “And I think that definitely it was all
tutor her. She enjoyed it so much that she mitzvah to make sure that everything is done Conservative Havdalah services. because of my mom.”
S-6 Jewish Standard WINTER 2018 BAR/BAT MITZVAH

Legacy gifts
adds meaning to the experience and expands the relation- she asked about or played with during visits? That could
ship between the recipient and the giver in a healthy way. be the perfect gift. Is there something that symbolizes a
turning point in your own life that carries an important
Creating legacy gifts story and that you can give over as a sacred trust? This
Many items in life can become legacy gifts. Even if giving might become the cornerstone of a mentoring moment
a check has to happen because it’s customary or sorely that will long resound within the student’s memory. You
Meaningful presents needed, also consider creating a
special moment to give something
might also find a novel or nonfiction work that relates to
your point. You can then inscribe it, and give it to the bar
for the b’nei mitzvah personal and uniquely memorable.
Start by looking into the contents
or bat mitzvah student as a personal resource to hold on
to until it is fully needed. Jason’s paternal grandfather
of your life. Are there pictures of died before Jason could remember him. His Aunt Wendy
Rabbi Goldie Milgram
great grandparents or other ances- brought him one of his grandfather’s leather books of

D
aniel went home and tors that you can frame with a dedi-
unwrapped his bar mitzvah cation plaque giving their names
presents. His mom found and dates in honor of the bar or bat
him sitting dolefully amid the mitzvah? Do you have stories about
crumpled wrapping paper and open them to share in a one-to-one meet-
envelopes. He was surrounded by ing with the bar or bar mitzvah stu-
many high quality watches, several dent? Also write down the stories
personal music and game players, in your gift note or mount them on
assorted games, 12 gift certificates, the back of the picture.
Brilliantly colorful Ethiopian embroi-
and 36 checks. She wondered at his Consider the picture together
dered bags depicting scenes from the
mood and asked: “What’s wrong, with the student. Gifts become
Torah make a meaningful gift for the
son?” Daniel’s answer: “I don’t know more meaningful to the recipient
bar or bat mitzvah.
mom, but somehow this is disappoint- by the manner in which we convey
ing. This stuff just doesn’t mean anything to me.” Daniel is them. Together, notice details of
absolutely right. There are many ways to give bar/bat mitz- dress, similarities perhaps between the students and the
vah gifts that can touch a person’s spirit, not just by way ancestor(s); if you can, explain the period in which the
of a charitable organization. There is nothing wrong and photo was taken. Is there something around your home
everything right with receiving a physical gift so long as it that has always fascinated the student? Something he or
poems by Walt Whitman; complete with notes Jason’s
grandfather had handwritten in the margins when he was
young. The inside cover contained a dedication showing
that Jason’s grandfather had received the book as a bar
mitzvah present from his father. To Jason, this book is
the greatest treasure he’s ever received. Allison’s grand-
mother noticed a beaded drawstring bag in the back of
her closet. She had the bag repaired and added the words
Allison’s tallit bag in beadwork. She presented Allison with
the tallit bag at the party, with stories about some of the
events that the bag had been through with her. Jenny’s
cousin obtained Hadassah and Life magazines from the
day Jenny was born, thirteen years before that, and thir-
teen years before that. As the cousins pored over the mag-
azines together, they were amazed at the kinds of adver-
tising events, and social changes they read about. Alice’s
mom helped her encase these magazines in sturdy plastic
covers to preserve this unique gift for future generations.

YOUR UNFORGETTABLE
BAR OR BAT MITZVAH
IN ISRAEL STARTS WITH
on dean

Our new
collections
are Here!

Visit
Engle on Dean Take your Bar or Bat Mitzvah to the next level by celebrating
for all your in Israel. Emunah will plan every step with you and make sure your
Spring/Summer family has the most memorable experience, at the best price.

Events! OUR PERSONAL SERVICES INCLUDE

= Opportunities to share your simcha with a child at risk in an Emunah Home
= Air reservations
= Best hotel at lowest prices
= Large groups or small families
32 North Dean Street = Customized touring with our renowned guides
Englewood, NJ
CONTACT US TODAY
201-568-1331 Ronnie Faber 201.370.6597 l ronnie@emunah.org
www.engleshopcouture.com

Adam’s neighbor discovered that Adam loves science fic-
tion. On-line at JewishLights.com he found a series of Jew-
ish science-fiction books and gave Adam three as his gift,
with the suggestion that they both read and discuss the
works. One story discussed whether a nonhuman alien
could convert to Judaism. This problem captured Adam’s
curiosity and led them into a whole new level of explora-
tion. Kerri’s tutor had a big surprise for her. She picked up
a plain beige kippah at the Judaica store and with fabric
paint made a scene of Jerusalem on one half and an image
of an open Torah scroll on the other half. Then, with a
permanent marker, she wrote a verse from Kerri’s Torah
portion on the open scroll and Kerri’s name in the very
center of the kippah. On the inside she wrote, “Love to my
fantastic student forever — your tutor, Dona.
Many Ethiopian Jews participated in an embroidery
project to raise money for food, health care, and educa-
tion, before their immigration to Israel. Their high qual-
ity, brilliantly colored tallitot and tallit and pillow covers
interpret many Torah portions; their mezuzot also make
stunning legacy presents and support their education
and training in Israel. Ari’s classmates and their parents
got together to acquire the series of Ethiopian pillow cov-
ers as a present for him. This proved to be so special that
many classmates are hoping the same gift will be coming
their way, too. It is also possible to twin with an Ethiopian
Jewish immigrant to Israel, to share bar or bat mitzvah
dates, correspond, and one day even to meet. The legacy
of friendship is a very powerful gift indeed. (For informa-
tion, contact the North American Conference on Ethio-
pian Jewry at NOCOEJ.org.)
Special activities as gifts
Consider some activities that you can do together to pri-
vately honor this special time. Ben’s uncle gook him to the
steam room at the Jewish community center and proudly
introduced him to the men who gather there after the
men’s weekly bagels-and-lox brunch. They joyfully wel-
comed him and shared stories of their own b’nei mitz-
vah. Sarah’s mom took her to the Judaica shop to select a
set of candlesticks of her own to light every Friday night.
She told Sara a secret, that whenever she lights candles,
she senses the presence of her own mother of blessed
memory. Also, when she blesses Sara, she senses her own
mother’s hands upon her head. Kate, his mother’s best
friend, brought Max to a ceramics studio so that they could
make a challah plate together in honor of his bar mitzvah.
On the back of the plate, Kate wrote a special signed mes-
sage for her heart that was sealed there for every Shab-
bat to come. Blaine’s grandmother is an excellent needle
worker. When she learned about a German Jewish nee-
dlework tradition called whimple, she and Blaine agreed
that making one together would be very memorable. The
whimple involves creating a Torah belt, to be used only
Jewish Standard S-7
on the special occasions of a person’s life cycle that take
place at the Torah. Traditionally, these would be started in
honor of a birth, and the fabric would be derived from the
baby’s swaddling cloth. The belt is made up of multiple
panels and is perhaps six inches wide. As each major life-
cycle event arrives, each panel of the belt gets decorated
in fabric paint or embroidery with the birth date, name of
child, symbols, and a verse from that week’s Torah por-
tion or blessing. Antique and contemporary examples are
on view at many Jewish museums. Another collaborative
craft project is creating a Judaic blessing quilt. One per-
son sends squares of fabric to friends with instructions
to return the decorated square in honor of the person’s
simcha. Nadine, the yoga partner of Talia’s mom, decided
her gift would be to coordinate such a project. Not being
a quilter herself, she took the squares she had received
from participants to a professional for assembly. Squares
can be decorated with just about any-thing: fabric mark-
ers, buttons, necklace charms, and shells. Messages from
Torah, qualities about the student’s life, or blessings can
be added, too. Some even sew in tiny music chips so
that a melody will emerge when the curious push on the
squares.
From “Reclaiming Bar/Bat Mitzvah as a Spiritual Rite of
Passage” by Rabbi Goldie Milgram (Reclaiming Judaism Press).
Reprinted with permission.
S-8 Jewish Standard WINTER 2018 BAR/BAT MITZVAH

The joy of the process

interfere with their special day. Therefore,
I tried to get everything out of the plan-
ning process so that if the unexpected hap-
pened, I could still say that my daughter’s
bat mitzvah was wonderful.
How I loved planning my daughter’s bat mitzvah 2. Create a meaningful theme
We decided to have a “girl power” theme
Amy Alpert certainly am nothing close to a party plan-
for the party. We found this theme to be
ner), I was nervous that I would not love
The candle-lighting ceremony is a tradi-
tion at many bar and bat mitzvah celebra-
tions where the family chooses 13 differ-
ent people or families to honor by calling
them up to the cake to light a candle. Many
families write poems as a way to call up the
people who are honored.
During the car ride, we all worked
together as a team to come up with clever,

O
ne of the happiest times in my life
was planning my daughter Gabri-
elle’s bat mitzvah. Many people
find this shocking. I was a little
bit shocked, myself. Planning a bar or bat
mitzvah is stressful on many levels. It is
expensive and it is time consuming with
numerous deadlines. But most of all, it is
challenging because all of these things are
happening while managing a hormonal
adolescent.
I knew from the start that I would love
helping my daughter prepare for the ser-
vice. I loved hearing Gabrielle hum her
haftarah portion as she walked around the
house, and I was inspired when we worked
on her d’var Torah together. In addition, I
loved preparing to read a Torah portion
myself during her service. But as someone
who does not really love big parties (and I
inspiring and satisfying. We created the funny, loving poems for the special people
planning the celebration that followed the
logo “Go For It!” with the idea that you in our lives. We laughed about funny sto-
service. But I have to admit, I loved the
should try new things. We wanted the mes- ries we recollected and felt connected to
process.
sage to be that it’s not about being success- our larger community. When it came time
Here are five ways you might love it, too.
ful or perfect; rather, it’s about being brave for Gabrielle to write her poem introduc-
1. Set an intention to love it and putting yourself out there. Gabrielle’s ing my husband Gideon and me, she called
logo was a picture of a girl with a cape and my sister and worked on the poem with
The first thing I did was to buy a bracelet
a ponytail, and we incorporated girl power her over the phone — thus another oppor-
from my sisterhood gift shop — a bracelet
into the event any way we could. tunity to connect.
that said “Joy” on one side and “Simcha”
Creating a theme with a message you
on the other side (the Hebrew word for
believe in is so satisfying and brings a 4. Connect with your friends
joy). This was my reminder that this is a
joyous occasion and to let go of anything
deeper meaning to the party. Our hope and extended family before
was that the girl power message created a the big day
that steals the joy.
positive and inspiring environment to cel- I knew that conversations would be quick
In addition, I knew I could not be miser-
ebrate in together. during the actual day of the event. There
able during the process with the expecta-
tion the wonderful day would make it all would be over 200 people there, so there
3. Involve the whole family was no way I would be able to have the
worth it; as we all know, life is unpredict-
Over our holiday break before the bat deep meaningful conversations I prefer
able. My older brother was sick for his bar
mitzvah we took a three-hour car ride with each of my friends and loved ones.
mitzvah, my cousin had girl drama at hers,
together as a family. During the ride we So I made an effort to connect with people
and plenty of people have had weather
wrote the candle-lighting poems together.

Having
an affair?
Come see the
Largest Selection
of Eveningwear,
Sportswear, and
Accessories, too!

Mishelyne’s
Fashions
885 Teaneck Road
Teaneck, NJ
201-862-9595
Sun & Mon Closed
Tues to Thurs 9:30-6
Fri 9:30-5 · Sat 9:30-6

www.m-fashions.com

FIRST PLACE
SPECIAL OCCASION
DRESS SHOP
2011-2017
 Jewish Standard S-9

throughout the process. We asked our guests to RSVP
via email (rather than mail in a response card), and this
inspired conversations. Someone I hadn’t spoken to in
a while would RSVP over email and then I would reply
back, starting a conversation that wouldn’t have hap-
pened otherwise.
A year before the bat mitzvah, Gideon emailed some
long-time friends so they were sure to put it in the calen-
dar. The side benefit to that was that the email chain con-
tinued throughout the year. Many stories and inside-jokes
were shared and recollected, allowing us all to laugh and
share together through cyberspace.
5. Get help
I was blessed with an amazing community of support-
ers who helped us prepare. My friend and party planner
Dayna seemed as excited about the special day as I was.
She would text me pictures of ideas and, as the event got
closer, the excitement grew. We had fabulous Hebrew
tutors for my daughter and our synagogue in general
shared the excitement with me. Even though they have
dozens of b’nei mitzvah students each year, they made us
feel special. Everyone’s enthusiasm was contagious, and
it made the planning all the more special.
Surrounding myself with positive people who shared
my priorities (that the event be wonderful and meaningful
while having fun in the process) was essential. Stay away
from competitive or negative people during this time.
There is too much to be grateful for.
In the end, the day was amazing, but it was no more
special to me than the planning process. Feeling grateful,
acknowledging a milestone, connecting with my family
and larger community, and learning and sharing positive
messages are all meaningful Jewish values, and our bat
mitzvah year reflected that.
Reprinted with permission of
Kveller.com, the Jewish parenting website.

Space goes to your space

Event company launches
an off-site division
Heidi Mae Bratt
First there was Space Odys-
sey, the 26,000-square-
foot destination for kids’
birthday parties. Then (and
now) there is Space Events,
a grown-up version of party
creation with sophistica-
tion. And now, Elvira Grau, Elvira and Jim Grau
owner of Space, and her son, Alec Sikar, are launch-
ing a division of what they already do at their home
base in Englewood, an off-premise party a al Space
Events.
Space Events Off Premise will take Space into your
space.
The new venture, said Ms. Grau whose own rags-to-
riches story reads like a Russian novel — she was a Rus-
sian immigrant who moved from Ukraine to Brook-
lyn at 9 and remembers how exciting it was when her
family received food for Shabbos — was born out of
necessity.
Space Events, said Ms. Grau who is married to Jim
Grau, her business partner, is booked until 2020.
Clients wanted in. There was no space at Space, so
she is giving them what they want. She came up with
the idea to bring everything that Space provides to
any suitable off-premise location.
“There are more Jewish people than available
dates,” she quipped. “And that’s a good thing.”
With the new Space Events Off Premise, “we can
take everything, soup to nuts on the road,” said Ms.
Grau. That includes all event design, production,
planning and entertainment. “We own everything
and have everything from the DJs to the dancers to
the graphics to the LED furniture. We have it all. We
can build and produce everything. We are the source.
It’s like a law firm. If you need a lawyer, we’ll get you
a lawyer.”
Ms. Grau, who appeared on Bravo’s reality show,
“The Real Housewives of New Jersey,” said that it’s a
privilege to create and help people with their simchas.
“They are trusting me with their milestones,” said
Grau, a mother of four. “It’s an honor and a merit for
me to do that.” www.thejewishstandard.com
S-10 Jewish Standard
Why I cried at your bar mitzvah
A mother’s revelations as her boy becomes a man
Rachel Levy Lesser
O
n the Sunday evening after our son’s bar mitzvah,
the bar mitzvah boy turned to me over brunch left-
overs served as dinner and very honestly and curi-
ously asked me, “Mom, how come you cried at my
bar mitzvah?”
I tried as best as I could on the spot to explain to my
boy-turned-man what I was feeling at services the previ-
ous morning. I gave him a rather canned answer — some-
thing about loving him and being proud of him and miss-
ing my own mother. He nodded and later that night went
back to the business of being a 13-year-old boy checking
fantasy football scores, Snapchat messages, and finishing
up his homework.
As the days and weeks have passed since his bar mitzvah,
I’ve had more time to process that question. Here’s my real
answer for him, or at least as best as I can figure it out:
I cried at your bar mitzvah for the pride that made my
heart swell. As I sat below you in our synagogue seats,
watching you lead the service with such ease and confi-
dence, I felt prouder of you than I had ever felt before. I
Hold a food drive for our food pantry...
Make craft packages for School Based
Services... Sell JFS Purim cards...
Create holiday packages for Kosher
Meals on Wheels... Participate in the
Ride to Fight Hunger... Socialize with
Holocaust survivors at Café Europa...
Collect and pack emergency supplies
for Senior Citizens... Volunteer at the
Wheels-for-Meals event... Work with
local synagogues as a Food Pantry
Ambassador...Pack Birthday-in-a-Box
For more information please call
201-837-9090
or visit us at
www.jfcsnnj.org
WINTER 2018 BAR/BAT MITZVAH
thought back to our family vacation nearly a year ago when
I listened from the slightly ajar door in the adjoining hotel
room as you struggled to put together the words to the
Hebrew prayers you were studying. I stayed up late that
night wondering if you would be able to pull it all together
and become a bar mitzvah. How wrong I was back then,
and how good it felt to see that before my very own eyes.
I cried at your bar mitzvah for all the people we love
who gathered together that morning for a truly happy
occasion. When Dad and I stood next to you on the bima
looking out to the seats below, my mind was flooded with
countless memories of the people who filled them — peo-
ple who have been a part of your life, of my life, of dad’s
life for so many years. I thought of the birthday parties,
the soccer games, the funny stories, and all the laughs we
shared together. I also recalled the sleepless nights, the
long talks, and the tears that we shared with those very — your namesake who you never knew. I imagined how
same people. I felt a bit like I was floating outside of my much he would have loved to know you and what joy you
own body, seeing so many people I love in one place — all would have brought to his life. I comforted myself know-
for you and for our family. ing that he lived a long and full life, still realizing that no
I cried at your bar mitzvah for the people we love who matter how long we have the people we love, it’s never
are no longer with us. I thought of your great-grandfather See why i cried page 14
Plan your next event in our
Elegant Ballroom
Beautiful Sanctuary · elegant neutral Ballroom
Scenic outdoor Patio & lake · HoldS uP to 300
diverSe catering Panel to Suit every taSte and Budget
For more information on renting our ballroom for your event
please call the office (201) 891-4466.
 Jewish Standard S-11 New launch from the creators of
Space Events providing clients with all inclusive,
over-the-top party experiences for 12 years.
Fash bash for the big mitzvah Space Events Off Premise
A full service entertainment and production company ready to
offer our expertise and services for all your party needs.

Backyard · Pool · Graduation · Holiday Parties

Corporate Events · Bar/Bat Mitzvah
Sweet 16’s · Weddings - We Do It All!
Suits from
Emporio, We can take our Space Off Premise services to
Teaneck any location and bring the ‘SPACE’ experience to you!

Event Planning & Production

LED Lighting · Lounge Furniture · Sound Equipment · Dance Floor
Timelines · Floor Plan · Personal Event Coordinator

Engle Shop on Dean, Englewood

Event Entertainment
MC · DJ · Dancers · Unique Entertainers
Event Design
Graphic Design · Décor · Centerpieces · Floral Arrangements
Call today for more information.
We can’t wait to create the party of your dreams!
877-772-2351
Teaneck General Store, an online store WWW.SPACEEVENTGROUP.COM
Mishelyne’s Fashions, Teaneck SPACEEVENTGROUP
S-12 Jewish Standard WINTER 2018 BAR/BAT MITZVAH

Mitzvah on Masada
Tour group offers memorable Israel trip and ceremony
Heidi Mae Bratt

M
asada and its dramatic natural beauty overlook-
ing the Dead Sea is a rugged natural fortress on
which the Judean King Herod the Great con-
structed a sumptuous palace complex in clas-
sical Roman style. After Judea became a province of the
Roman Empire, it was the refuge of the last survivors of
the Jewish revolt, who chose death rather than slavery
when the Roman besiegers broke through their defenses.
As such, it has an emblematic value for the Jewish people,
and Masada has become a must-see stop for tourists and
visitors to Israel.
Several times a year this quiet and symbolic site of Jew-
ish fortitude, resolve, and sacrifice becomes the grounds
on which many teens and their families gather to celebrate
the young men and women’s b’nei mitzvahs, courtesy of
Margaret Morse Tours.
The Masada-top b’nei mitzvah ceremony, a highlight
of the two-week heritage-rich tour, is presided over by a
rabbi, and the youngsters have been prepped for their
big event in Israel. The b’nei mitzvah, held on Mondays
or Thursdays to coincide with the Torah reading, comes a
good week into the tour so the young men and women and
their families, and others who have joined the tour, are all
comfortable and familiar with each other.
“It is a serene and magnificent setting,” said Robyn
Morse, owner of the Hallandale, Florida-based tour com-
pany. Following the b’nei mitzvah ceremony, the group Members of the Margaret Morse Tours enjoy themselves during a visit to the Western Wall.
visits the Dead Sea, and then continue the celebration at a
gala party at a five-star hotel in Jerusalem, said Ms. Morse. The tour operation was founded by her late grand- grandmother, Margaret, the idea to launch the bar and
“There’s nothing more wonderful or meaningful than mother, Margaret, who was 67 and retired, and enjoying bat mitzvah tours.
experiencing Israel like this,” said Ms. Morse, who co-owns life with her third husband, when she took a trip to Israel The two-week tours span the country north to south,
the company with her brother Michael. in 1980. with stops in Tel Aviv, Haifa, Upper Galilee, Jerusalem, and
“She just fell in love,” said Ms. Morse of her grand- if desired, an add-on option for Eilat.
mother’s attraction to Israel, the land, and its people. “Margaret Morse is strictly an Israel tour operator,” Ms.
Margaret came out of retirement and created the tour Morse said. “Israel is too complex a country that having a
Cantor company, which has been shepherding groups to Israel professional and knowledgeable guide will help to give you

Barbra for three generations. In fact, it was Michael Morse’s bar

mitzvah in Israel when he was 13 in 1985 that gave his
a full and great experience.”
Ms. Morse said that there is still availability for summer
0002441714-01.qxd Lieberstein
10/15/08 5:09 PM Page 1 tour departures on June 9, July 21, July 31 and August 14.

Certified Cantor with

12+ years
BAR & BAT of pulpitMAGAZINE AD
MITZVAH 0002441714-01
Lessons in experience
your home The Best Selection of
Learn to read Hebrew LIEBERSTEIN, BARBRA Talliot and
Fri, Oct 24, 2008 Kippot anywhere.
Learn to Exquisite Styles
read Hebrew Group and1 cols, 2.13 x 2.50" for Women, Men,
private lessons
Process Free Bar and Bat Mitzvah
Mention this ad for
Adults in your home
Lisa Spadevecchia
too 10% OFF
Parent Paper
Officiant atCantor BarbraCeremonies, Carine Beautifully Beaded, Crystal,
Bar/Bat Mitzvah
201-818-4088 Crocheted, Suede, Lace
Baby Namings and Weddings Kippot, Tallit Clips
___ Art Direction
Cell: 201-788-6653
Officiant for Baby Namings
_X__ E-Proof Lisa Prawer A sweet treat in the form of a cake to celebrate the
e-mail: cantorbarbra@aol.com
Certified Cantor with 12+ years Convenient Bergen County Location · 201-321-4995 bar and bat mitzvahs of those who are touring with
www.cantorbarbra.com
of pulpit experience www.thetallislady.com · info@thetallislady.com Margaret Morse Tours.
 Jewish Standard S-13

Places and spaces SUITS

Area venues give parties pizzazz

Heidi Mae Bratt
The Edgewood Country Club in River Vale has a storied
past. Once member-owned and exclusive, it is now plan- FIRST PLACE
ning for an exciting and expansive future. MEN’S SHOP
Under new private ownership since 2015, Edgewood
has undergone an extensive renovation that has taken the
facility to a level of “a New York hotel at a resort,” said The finest selection of
Candice Timmerman, event coordinator and sales direc- Italian designer men’s &
tor for the country club.
The main building boasts a ballroom, cocktail area, pri- boy’s suits, sport jackets,
vate wine room, state-of-the-art fitness center, kids enter-
tainment section and more. The spacious ballroom can
coats, car coats, pants,
be expanded through a retractable wall and can host up sweaters, shirts, ties,
to 450 guests, the perfect venue for many types of events,
including weddings, bar and bat mitzvahs, and other shoes & accessories.
galas. Built in are all the state-of-the-art entertainment
must-haves, including all uplighting, audio and video
equipment, and projectors needed to enhance a simcha,
said Ms. Timmerman. Visit the
Opened with its first event on May 13, 2017, Edgewood SHOES
already has been the site for b’nei mitzvahs. Boy’s Store
“The space is designed with a lot of flexibility so there
are different options,” said Ms. Timmerman. “It is abso- at Emporio
lutely gorgeous, modern and young. It has a great vibe.
Everything is here, so there is not much to do with the
décor because it’s already here.
“We want to be the spot to host any type of personal or
social event.”
At Powerhouse Studios in Paramus there is no need to
plan a bar or bat mitzvah a la carte by hiring a DJ, photo
booth, decorator and the sort, said owner Sam Pellegrino. Scarpa
“This is a one-stop shop,” Mr. Pellegrino said. “Every-
thing you need is here. The venue has the entertainment
themes, such as arcades, casinos, and photo booths.
There is the music; the emcees, and the dancers are all
included,” he said.
For catering, there are also kosher options, or outside
caterers could come in.
“Our atmosphere creates excitement for the overall
event,” Mr. Pellegino said. Powerhouse Studios is hosting
an open house and party showcase on Sunday, January
28, from 1 to 3 p.m. It is located at 49 E. Midland Ave. in BORO PARK: FLATBUSH: LONG ISLAND: LAKEWOOD: TEANECK:
Paramus. 5020 13th Avenue 1505 Coney Island Ave. 467 Central Avenue 1700 Madison Ave. 215 W. Englewood Ave.
For an active and exciting party, Urban Air Trampoline
718.972.4665 718.676.7706 516.295.5006 732.987.9480 201.530.7300
and Adventure Park in South Hackensack is the perfect Sunday & Legal Holidays 10-6 Sunday & Legal Holidays 10-6 Sunday & Legal Holidays 10-6 Sunday & Legal Holidays 10-6 Mon-Thurs 10-9
place for family fun, birthday parties, and group or cor- Mon-Wed 10-7
Thurs 10-8, Fri 10-2
Mon-Wed 10-7
Thurs 10-9, Fri 10-2
Mon, Tues & Thurs 10-7
Wed 10-9, Fri 10-2
Mon-Thurs 10-7
Fri 10-1:30
Fri 10-2
Closed Sunday
porate events. The wall-to-wall trampolines offer several
activity areas, including trampoline basketball, trampo-
line dodgeball, foam pit, fitness classes, and more. Urban
Air Indoor Trampoline Parks are suitable for all ages and
fitness levels.
For more physical fun with a party, Lucky Strike in
Events & Celebrations
West Nyack provides an exciting time for groups of all
February 23rd
ages, with kid and teen friendly amenities including 12 Corporate Events · Team Building
premium lanes, six competition ready billiards tables,
and an intimate game room complete with air hockey
Fundraising · New Baby · Sweet Sixteens
and roller ball. Additionally, Lucky Strike features huge Birthdays · Proms · Graduations
projectors and plasma TVs, streaming MLB, NBA, NFL
and others around the clock. Deadline February 15 · 201-837-8818 x 121
 Jewish Standard S-14

Why I cried we were to be able to be there right

from page 10
long enough. I cried for your grand-
mother, my late mother, who did not
have the long life I wish she had. I felt
cheated for me, for you, and for her.
I thought of something that a loved
one told me that weekend — how my
mother, more than anything, did not
want to leave us — how she would have
given anything to be able to see you
then. As I watched you read from the
Torah — the very same one that I read
from when I was 13, as did my father
and many other family members — I
felt a connection to the sacred scroll.
I cried at your bar mitzvah for the
passage of time. When the service
was nearly complete and I listened to
the rabbi bless you, I saw a tall young
man before me and wondered who

SCREEN PRINTING PARTY FAVORS

EMBROIDERIES
that day, tall and poised and in charge. that was. I flashed back to images of
I have felt the bitterness of her loss on toddler you on that same bima cele-
School & Camp Apparel so many occasions, but on this one brating your nursery school Shabbat
QUICK DELIVERY

so much more than I could have ever holding a stuffed toy Torah, dancing

GREAT UNIFORMS imagined.

I cried at your bar mitzvah for the
around with your friends. I wished
for a moment that we could go back in
An Online Store
PRICES ATHLETIC WEAR Jewish people of generations past
and for the traditions of our religion.
time to the days of the dancing toddler.
I came back to reality and realized that

PROMOTIONS GIFTS SWAG

Although I grew up a rather secular I will soon see you, the tall young man,
Jew, attending services on the High grow even taller, that your time living

IS US Holy Days and the occasional Shab-

bat, I felt so lucky that we could be in
in our house is not forever.
I thought about how I want to pro-

CORPORATE GIFTS CUSTOM TEES our synagogue that morning practicing
a long-held tradition of our people. I
AND ALL APPAREL thought of Jews of generations past
who fought for their religious freedom,
836 Palisade Avenue Teaneck, NJ 07666 201-530-5046 those who perished because of their
bruce@embroideriesunlimited.com www.embroideriesunlimited.com religion, and I recognized how lucky
tect you from everything but also how
I can’t — how I will need to let you go
more and more.
And so I will, and so I cried.
Reprinted with permission by Kveller.
com, the Jewish parenting website.

Book Centerpieces
with a heart
In
ho

For your special

no
ro

Bar/Bat Mitzvah
fY

Birthday
ou
!

Sweet 16
Corporate event
Retirement Party

Centerpiece proceeds fund Bergen Reads,

providing reading buddies to local public
school children who need reading assistance.

Jewish Federation
OF NORTHERN NEW JERSEY

For information on rental pricing

and customizing, please contact
Beth | bethf@jfnnj.org | 201-820-3947
 C
CAAT
TEER
REER
RSS
4Sixty6 Caterers is a unique, non-traditional, all-inclusive event venue. With a
4Sixty6 Caterers is a unique, non-traditional, all-inclusive event venue. With a
15,000SF club-style atmosphere and a state-of-the-art lighting, sound, and
15,000SF club-style atmosphere and a state-of-the-art lighting, sound, and
video system, 4Sixty6 Caterers is the perfect place to host your next event.
video system, 4Sixty6 Caterers is the perfect place to host your next event.
From Bar/Bat Mitzvahs and Sweet 16's to Birthday Parties and Corporate
From Bar/Bat Mitzvahs and Sweet 16's to Birthday Parties and Corporate
Events...the possibilities are endless!
Events...the possibilities are endless!

KOSHER AND GLATT KOSHER CATERING AVAILABLE

KOSHER AND GLATT KOSHER CATERING AVAILABLE
CALL 973.474.9896 TO SCHEDULE A PRIVATE TOUR TODAY.
CALL 973.474.9896 TO SCHEDULE A PRIVATE TOUR TODAY.
LEARN MORE ONLINE AT WWW.4SIXTY6CATERERS.COM
LEARN MORE ONLINE AT WWW.4SIXTY6CATERERS.COM
466 PROSPECT AVE | WEST ORANGE | NJ | 07052
466 PROSPECT AVE | WEST ORANGE | NJ | 07052
Make your day extraordinary.
AT EDGEWOOD COUNTRY CLUB, we’ll turn your special occasion
into an unforgettable day. Our newly redesigned clubhouse is flexible
for an event of any size, and our talented staff is dedicated to bringing
your vision to life.

FOR YOUR PRIVATE TOUR, CALL CANDICE (201) 666-1200 Ext. 218 EDGEWOODNJ.COM 449 RIVERVALE RD. RIVER VALE, NEW JERSEY