Counselling Theory and Practice:- Spiritual Direction

Prayer Guiding & Spiritual Direction

The ‘As If’ Relationship

Issues of Transference and Counter-Transference

Applications to Spiritual Accompaniment

Notes from a Special Half Day Session

PART ONE :- TRANSFERENCE

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© 2010 - Peter Creagh, Trainer, Supervisor and BACP Registered Counsellor UKRC
CBT
 Counselling Theory and Practice:- Spiritual Direction

Prayer Guiding & Spiritual Direction

The ‘As If’ Relationship
Issues of Transference and Counter-Transference :- Pt 1

INTRODUCTION
Prayer Guiding and Spiritual Direction are forms of a helping and therapeutic relationship.
Many of the aspects of therapeutic helper-client relationship have echoes of those found
in spiritual direction encounters. Consequently it can be important for those involved in
spiritual direction to have some awareness and understanding of how issues of
transference and counter-transference can impact on the relationship with the client.

Many models of therapy, but particularly psychodynamic and transactional analysis ( TA),
stress that the relationship in the present between the helper and the client and its
relationship to current and past situations can lead to valuable insights. Jacobs (1999: p
114-115) focuses on this aspect and then leads on to consider some important aspects
that lead to these insights. Foremost amongst these is the twin issues of transference
and counter-transference and how they are rooted in several forms of unconscious
defences. Most therapeutic models stress the importance of the therapeutic relationship
and the part it can play in ‘modelling’ current and, possibly, future relationships. Brown
and Pedder (1979) focus on some of the Parent, Child, and Adult aspects, particular to
TA, which can affect the helper-client relationship. These are particularly relevant, as
many clients may see their helper( director) in a parental role. This can give rise to
distorted communications, inappropriate and incorrect connections with past relationships
and thereby could give rise to directees/clients being defensive and particularly to
transference and counter- transference in the relationship.

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© 2010 - Peter Creagh, Trainer, Supervisor and BACP Registered Counsellor UKRC
CBT
 Counselling Theory and Practice:- Spiritual Direction

This brief introductory note will examine some of the major forms of unconscious
defences, identify those allied to the twin defences of transference and counter-
transference, outline KoIb’s experiential learning cycle and how this can aid our
understanding in the helper-client relationship and finally explore in greater detail the
issues of transference and counter-transference. These notes are complemented by a
series of brief exercises designed to give participants the opportunity to reflect on and
(hopefully) experience the concept of an ‘as if’ relationship.Before looking at further
aspects of Transference it can be useful to briefly explore the psychodynamic concept of
defences.

DEFENCES The Role of Defences in Transference

‘Popular’ psychology has perhaps given rise to the misconception that defences are
inherently negative. This is definitely not correct. Jacobs (1999) stresses that defences
are a natural part of being human. However, they can ‘block’ insights and thereby impede
not only personal growth and understanding but also our spiritual growth in awareness.
There are many types of defences but the following three are most relevant when
exploring issues of transference and counter-transference.

Splitting Splitting involves the separation of ‘good’ and ‘bad’ feelings. This can lead to
the denial of certain feelings and thoughts. Jacobs (1998) suggests that some religious
systems resort to ‘splitting’ in an attempt to resolve the problem of how a good God can
‘allow’ evil. Splitting occurs in all areas of life, in politics the ‘good guys’ versus the ‘bad
guys’, in nationalism, the ‘ them versus us ‘ syndrome, etc. Splitting is a common reaction
used against directors/therapists. It is a form of denial and can lead to playing the
director/therapist (the ‘good’) off against the other (the ‘bad’).

More on SPLITTING: - It is a natural tendency of people & systems to split into

GOOD V BAD

Religions, Politics , Countries and belief systems are excellent examples of this tendency.
Many RELIGIONS tend to ‘split’ in order to explain/justify a concept which they hold as a
firm belief.

In answer to the perennial question ‘HOW CAN A ‘GOOD’ God allow Evil’? Religions
have come up with various notions of heaven V Hell, God V the Devil and this has often
led to humans projecting their own issues onto others or something else. i.e. externalising
and avoiding taking responsibility.

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© 2010 - Peter Creagh, Trainer, Supervisor and BACP Registered Counsellor UKRC
CBT
 Counselling Theory and Practice:- Spiritual Direction

Projection Very often we can have difficulty ‘owning’ aspects of ourselves. These can be
either positive and/or negative aspects. A way of denying these feelings and defending
against the unconscious anxiety of ‘owning’ them, is to project these aspects onto others.
For Example: - The director/therapist can be idealised as the all powerful, all caring
person. When it is expressed in negative terms it can often be like ‘the pot calling the
kettle black’. Another example might be a client saying ‘You must be finding me a difficult
client’ Although this might be true, it could also be a defence against saying the opposite
i.e. ‘I am finding you (the director ) difficult! Jacobs (1998) expresses a great truth when
commenting on projection he states that it is ‘one which many people recognise others
using, even If they are less aware of it in themselves!’

More on PROJECTION As previously stated this is linked to the difficulty many have of
‘owning’ parts of the self. This can be either Good or Bad parts

a. If a good part is difficult to own – then we can ‘project it onto another

Example . The Director/Helper is ‘IDEALISED’ as all powerful – caring , knowing etc.

b. If a BAD part is difficult to own then it is often expressed in terms of

‘ the pot calling the kettle black’

Example A person might find themselves difficult ,but are often not fully aware of this
so they project the difficulty outside on to the other ( Externalising)

‘ You must be finding me a difficult client’

The other HAS or OWNS the difficulty or it’s a defence against saying the opposite
‘ I AM finding YOU difficult’

Proiective Identification This defence is allied to that of projection and like projection is
reckoned to be one of the earliest and most primitive defences that occurs shortly after
birth. It is like an early warning defence against aspects it sees in others which it wants to
deny. Another way of putting it is, that it is like a form of pre-emptive strike. Therefore in
the case of the ‘caring director/therapist’, the client ‘attacks’ the director/therapist in order
to ‘ward off’ this caring aspect. This form of defence is very often found in intimate
relationships where one partner wants to ‘deny’ any need for intimacy.

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CBT
 Counselling Theory and Practice:- Spiritual Direction

More on Projective Identification

This can often be a pre-emptive ‘STRIKE’ – e.g. I want to deny aspects in myself that I
can see in others.

Example If I fear INTIMACY or CLOSENESS or BEING CARED FOR ( these fears

are normally rooted in very early childhood and be connected with Attachment Issues)
then WHEN I meet a CARING DIRECTOR/HELPER I will tend to ‘attack’ the carer to
ward off this caring/closeness/intimacy.

This form of defence is very often found in close relationships – where ‘denial’ of need for
intimacy/closeness is served by Projective Identification

The defences of projection and projective identification are often allied to incidences of
transference and counter-transference. So let us explore a little more about the issues of
Transference and its application to Spiritual Direction.

TRANSFERENCE : The’ As If’ Relationship

Transference is a common human condition where we transfer attitudes, beliefs, feelings
and thoughts from the past to the present and from the ‘particular’ to the ‘general’
relationship. This is concept of the ‘presenting past’ effecting our current experience is
both the title of and content of Jacobs (1998). In another text, Jacobs (1993) suggests
that knowledge of transference reactions and relationships is essential for the
director/therapist ‘even though he/she may not openly refer to it’. Indeed all those who
engage in helping, clergy, laity, teachers, doctors etc will gain from an understanding of
this phenomenon. Transference effects the way helpers may be ‘perceived’ by those they
seek to help. This is greatly influenced by the ‘authority’ and ‘power’ that helpers may
consciously or unconsciously assume. Before looking at this in greater depth it can help
to view this through the medium of the ‘Experience Cube’.

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CBT
 Counselling Theory and Practice:- Spiritual Direction

The Experience Cube Although we live and experience things in the ‘present’,
experience is cumulative and very complex. The Present is influenced by past
experiences, future expectations and hopes and our experiences — ‘out there’ with
others. These are all contained with the influence of the present, here and now
experience. Thus we all have an ‘experience cube’, where all FOUR fields, if folded up,
form a cube. This cube thereby contains the ‘wholeness’ of the present experience.

OUT THERE
other(s)

PRESENT FUTURE
PAST Experiences in Expectations
the And hopes
‘here and now’

The Experience Cube

Transference
Hough(2002: p 17) suggests that ‘ transference refers to a human tendency to displace
emotional attitudes and feelings, learned in early childhood, to many situations in adult
life’. When feelings about an important past experience are somehow ‘transferred’ into
the ‘present’ relationship, we then behave ‘as if’ this present relationship IS the past
relationship. In other words the past part of the experience cube is mixed —up with the
present.

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© 2010 - Peter Creagh, Trainer, Supervisor and BACP Registered Counsellor UKRC
CBT
 Counselling Theory and Practice:- Spiritual Direction

Jacobs (1993) reminds us that ‘falling in love’ is one example of common transference.
We tend, in the early part of any relationship, to endow the loved one with idealised
qualities! A transference relationship is according to Jacobs’ like viewing someone
through coloured glass’. All that is seen may be transformed and perceived incorrectly.
However, unlike coloured glasses, transference in relationships is not so obvious. Some
common examples of transference in relationships are.

The adoring mother - adored baby relationship.

Caring nurse — sick patient relationship

Directee — Spiritual Director relationship — good or bad

Our ‘as if reactions to someone who reminds us of someone else

— this may be either conscious ( aware) or unconscious ( unaware).

The director/therapist may remind the client of an experience in the past (normally with a
‘parental’ or ‘authority’ figure. Then the client may react or behave ‘as if the director IS
that person.

Spiritual Direction

For the Spiritual Director, both the recognition of transference and its importance to the
relationship are vital. Transference can be a force for good or bad in the relationship. It
depends upon the nature and degree of the transference. Whether or not the helper
openly addresses or refers to the transference is another matter. In general, as in all
helping relationships, the question to ask is ‘In what way could the knowledge of this
(transference) be of any help to the client?’ If in doubt it might be best to take these
thoughts to supervision before ‘challenging’ the client with what is after all is an
unconscious defence mechanism.

Transference can be both positive and negative and vary from mild to severe. Positive
transference can create a ‘halo effect’ where the client’s esteem or high regard for the
director can be a positive, healing and changing influence in the relationship.

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© 2010 - Peter Creagh, Trainer, Supervisor and BACP Registered Counsellor UKRC
CBT
 Counselling Theory and Practice:- Spiritual Direction

For this to work is requires and demands a great deal of self-awareness, a healthy ego
and some good inter-personal skills on the part of the director/therapist. However, very
high or severe positive transference can be very uncomfortable for the helper and may
require him/her either to make ‘deliberate ‘mistakes or use skills to ground the
relationship in reality. Negative transference can be handled in a similar way to positive
transference. However, when it is high or severe it can provoke considerable anxiety in
the director and may require some supportive supervision and a very high level of inter-
personal skills, particularly the use of concreteness, immediacy and challenge. Some
common causes of transference, particular to prayer guiding and spiritual direction are:

The idealisation of the guide/director as symbolic of the embodiment of desired

spiritual qualities by the client.

A tendency to develop a special attachment based on soul friendship

Identification of the guide/director with a particular form of religion, order,

congregation etc. e.g. the Irish Christian Brother Syndrome.

Many of us may be aware of the often ‘distorted’ image that others have of us. This is
particularly true in relationships of trust, where those who are being helped very often
place the helpers in positions of authority and sometimes on a pedestal. They then react
or behave accordingly and this can lead to past experiences with authority figures
‘clouding’ or transferring onto the relationship.

One of the ways that directors can recognise signs of transference is when statements do
have an as if quality to them. This is as if the client is confusing the helper (or another
person being referred to) with someone else. This ‘someone else’ is, as stated before,
most likely to be someone important in the client’s life and/or a parental or authority
figure. If the helper feels it appropriate to bring the transference into the present, then
they need to be aware that the client may think or feel that their own ‘perception’ is
correct and not an as if experience. So the helper must be able to show some evidence
for their interpretation of the transference. Stewart and Joines (1987: p111) remind us
that in Transactional Analysis, transference is referred to as ‘putting a face on someone’
This expresses the essence of the task facing the director if they are to successfully work
with the transference in the relationship.

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© 2010 - Peter Creagh, Trainer, Supervisor and BACP Registered Counsellor UKRC
CBT
 Counselling Theory and Practice:- Spiritual Direction

Summary on Transference

In summary, some characteristics of transference in a relationship are:

It is innate and inevitable, often aroused by people either very familiar to us or

(paradoxically) unfamiliar but powerful.

It can lead to a distorted perception of reality.

It is very often inappropriate, it actions, attitudes and behaviours.

It is often untimely

It is very often repetitive — leading to cycles of behaviours and to ‘games’

The latter concept ( games) is linked to Transactional Analysis.

It can (is designed to) deflect attention from the ‘real’ issue.

It can have positive and negative effects on the relationship and vary from mild to high or
severe.

Because prayer guiding and spiritual direction is an holistic relationship and directly
addresses the spiritual aspect of what it is to be a person, then it caries with it the
opportunity of some additional causes for, and possibly occurrences of, transference.

NOTES

1. An Addendum outlining Kolb’s Learning Cycle follows

2. If this is part of a presentation — a brief exercise follows)

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© 2010 - Peter Creagh, Trainer, Supervisor and BACP Registered Counsellor UKRC
CBT
 Counselling Theory and Practice:- Spiritual Direction

ADDENDUM:- KOLB’s EXPERIENTIAL LEARNING CYCLE

Transference and counter- transference are part of all helping and meaningful
relationships and therefore will almost inevitably occur in prayer guiding and spiritual
direction. They are part of the ‘experiences’ of direction and may require exploration as
and when they arise. If the decision is taken to explore the issue, then it can be helpful to
inform this exploration in the light of KoIb’s Experiential Learning Cycle. This is outlined in
the following figure.

1. EXPERIENCING
What Happened?
Open to & engaging
With experiences

4. EXPERIMENTATION 2 REFLECTION
What can/do we do? What was it like ?
Trying things out – doing Investigating the
Things differently Experience(s)

3. CONCEPTUALISING
What does it mean?
Analysing & creating
Meaning from experience

Adapted from Morrison, T (1998) Casework Consolidation. Whitby & Birch, London

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© 2010 - Peter Creagh, Trainer, Supervisor and BACP Registered Counsellor UKRC
CBT
 Counselling Theory and Practice:- Spiritual Direction

BIBLIOGRAPHY

Brown,D & Pedder ,J 1979 Introduction to Psychotherapy .Tavistock, London

Cairns,F. 1994 A Beginners Guide to Transference & Counter-

Transference, Counselling Nov 94, BACP, Rugby

Hough, M . 2002 A Practical Approach to Counselling Prentice-Hall

Jacobs,M.1993 Still Small Voice SPCK

Jacobs,M.1998 The Presenting Past OU Press

Jacobs,M.1999 Psychodynamic Counselling in Action Sage, London

McLeod,J 1998 An Introduction to Counselling OU Press

Stewart,I & Joines,V 1987 TA Today — A New Introduction to Transactional Analysis

Lifespace ,Nottingham

Winnicott,DW 1965 The Maturational Processes and Hogarth Press

the Facilitating Environment London

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© 2010 - Peter Creagh, Trainer, Supervisor and BACP Registered Counsellor UKRC
CBT