Professional Documents
Culture Documents
Casey was identified with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) when he
was about 3 or 4 years old. His mother noticed that Casey was an outcast at school, and he
often felt angry and frustrated. However, as a one-year-old, Casey’s speech was fluent. He
could recite some nursery rhymes, sing the national anthem, and have conversations with
adults. He was a creative child who invented his own games and stories.
School assessments identified Casey as having an IQ in the gifted range, but the school
didn't inform his mother of this until he was a teenager. Casey had difficulty with social skills,
self-esteem, and self-control. He did not get along with other children, and he seemed to live
in his own world, playing by himself. Other children saw him as strange and teased him.
Unable to manage peers’ teasing, Casey acted out. He talked out of turn, talked too
much, left his seat, and fought with peers during group work. Teachers punished him for those
behaviors. He reacted negatively when he was punished, which made it worse. Punishment
after punishment and failure after failure, he lacked self-esteem. His mother reported that he
often said, “I don’t know why I was born; I’m worthless.” Because of this, he hurt himself.
When she went to get Casey from school one day, Casey’s mother found him sitting on the
floor at the classroom door hitting his head with a sandal. She found out he was punished that
day and got upset about himself. Each day, on the way back home from school, he would
complain about how peers and teachers didn’t understand him, how they treated him unfairly,
Twice-exceptional (2E) students are those who demonstrate a gift or talent in one or
more areas and have a disability in another area. Only in the past decade or so has this
population of youngsters come under significant scrutiny (Neumeister, Yssel, & Burney,
BULLY PROOFING YOUR 2E CHILD 3
development. This means that the student shows unusual talent or maturity in one or more
areas and struggles or develops slowly in others. According to the Idaho Department of
Education (2010), there are two ways that asynchronous development may show in two ways:
internally and externally. Internally, this issue may show itself in different rates of physical,
intellectual, emotional, and social skill development. In contrast, external traits may include
lack of inclusion with both same-aged peers and age-related expectations of society. These
external traits illustrate the importance of special efforts to facilitate healthy social and
The social and emotional issues that 2E children demonstrate can be as debilitating as
their other challenges. Parents see a frustrated, angry, depressed child, and they may
psychological issues are often hidden behind negative behavior. For example, antisocial
behavior can indicate a lack of social skills in general or a disability that affects social skills,
such as Autism. Inappropriate behaviors such as teasing, clowning, anger, withdrawal, apathy,
and denial of problems can indicate poor self-esteem. The twice-exceptional student’s lack of
initiative can indicate frustration when directly associated with a low level of academic
disability are one underlying cause of social and emotional difficulties for 2E students. These
students often have high expectations of themselves, so they could misunderstand poor
performance and quickly become frustrated (King, 2005; Trail, 2011). Balancing efforts to
overcome learning challenges with the high expectations that accompany giftedness is a
BULLY PROOFING YOUR 2E CHILD 4
critical challenge for 2E students. Anger, fear of failure, a strong need to control, low self-
esteem, and even fear of success are common emotional issues that 2E students face (Strop,
2001; Trail, 2011). These emotional issues influence both academic and social achievement.
experiences leave these children wounded and alienated from peers, in many cases well into
adulthood (Wood & Estrada-Hernández, 2009). Furthermore, it is often difficult for schools to
provide the specialized attention and learning environment that these children require. Parents
can play a vital role in helping their 2E child build resiliency in the face of difficulties by
cope, and recover from difficulties, or “bounce back” (Wood & Estrada-Hernández, 2012).
Strategies to Help
There are many ways that parents can help their 2E child develop social and emotional
resilience. Early identification and support in problem areas is the most effective way to
support positive social and emotional development, and parents have the earliest opportunities
to provide vital input and guidance to their children. Furthermore, students who know,
understand, and accept their strengths and weaknesses are most likely to achieve desired
outcomes. One activity that enhances deeper understanding and self-esteem is for 2E children
to learn about famous people who are also twice-exceptional. Through learning about such
people and how they have overcome their exceptionalities, 2E children can see that they, too,
BULLY PROOFING YOUR 2E CHILD 5
can excel. For example, Agatha Christie, a famous novelist, had difficulty with writing and
Even with a tailored learning program, 2E children will experience negative emotions
and setbacks. During these times, children need to talk openly about their feelings and
problem solve about resolving negative emotions in a specific situation. This support can take
place in informal discussions with teachers, parents, or peers. In some cases, a more formal
intervention may be appropriate, such as individual counseling for mild issues or therapy for
more severe issues (Strop, 2001; Olenchak, 2009). Parents can take the following actions to
help their 2E child develop a healthy social and emotional foundation. With practice, your
translate these ideas into words and actions to teach your child. One of the most important
things parents can do is to self-educate about 2E children and their issues. Self-educating
allows parents to advocate more successfully for their child when it is necessary. It is also
important to remember that social and emotional health go hand in hand, so both emotional
and social wellness are critical to social resilience for 2E children. The following scenarios
from parents of 2E children illustrate some of the words and actions that parents can model to
Scenario I: I taught my son how to think and respond when there are
unpleasant situations, like being teased. I told him that ‘we can’t control
others’ behaviors; we can only control ours. People that tease you want to see
you angry and react, so you must not serve them. If they call you names, give
them unexpected responses, such as telling them thank you for teasing me, or
telling them you take that as a compliment. They will soon learn that their
teasing can’t affect you.’ It was hard for him, but he tried to practice it for
years until later when he grew up, it appeared that he had bullying immunity.
When he was in high school, bullying could not affect him.
Oh! Another thing was to help him understand other kids. It’s funny
that among those that bullied him verbally, most of them also had ADHD like
my son. So, I explained to him they shared ADHD in common, and that instead
of being angry, he could be empathetic.
Another parent described a situation where some outside intervention was appropriate.
Scenario II: “Socially she's … very empathetic, and she doesn't ever want to
hurt her friends' feelings even if it's to say, ‘No, that's my snack. You can't have
my snack.’ She sees it as, ‘I'm sharing’, but sometimes the way that they do it is
more … aggressive … and she really does need to stand up for herself and say,
‘No, this is my snack. You need to ask.’ We've progressed, and … the school
psychologist is working with her. At the end of the school year … she was in a
friendship group, and her focus in the group was about advocating and
standing up for herself to her friends. She has a really good friend, but she is a
very aggressive friend [who] tells her more what to do [more] than asks, and
when Anna does eventually stand up to her, she gets really nasty. I'm like, ‘No,
you're doing what you're supposed to do, and I know this person is not being
kind about it because you're actually telling her you're not okay with being told
to do everything.’
BULLY PROOFING YOUR 2E CHILD 7
well-being of 2E children because they frequently face significant difficulty in these areas.
Self-awareness, self-acceptance, empathy, and social flexibility are key factors in developing
social and emotional resilience. Lastly, the importance of the behavior that parents model
cannot be overemphasized. For example, this parent’s comment illustrates the importance of
experiences: “So, it's not the high expectations. It's how you handle the child not meeting
http://practicalkatie.com/2012/01/13/10-tips-for-teaching-assertiveness-skills/
http://www.betterparenting.com/teaching-kids-non-verbal-communication/
http://www.wikihow.com/Teach-Your-Child-Good-Social-Communication-Skills
BULLY PROOFING YOUR 2E CHILD 8
References
Barber, C., & Mueller, C. T. (2011). Social and self-perceptions of adolescents identified as
helping-twice-exceptional-students/
Idaho Department of Education, (2010). Twice-exceptional: Students with both gifts and
talented/files/manuals/Twice-Exceptional-Students-Both-Gifts-Challenges-or-
Disabilities.pdf
King, E. W. (2005). Addressing the social and emotional needs of twice-exceptional students.
Neumeister, K. S., Yssel, N., & Burney, V. H. (2013). The influence of primary caregivers in
274.
93-111.
Strop, J. (2001). The affective side. Understanding our Gifted, 13(3), 23-24.