Conflict Resolution

Objective: Student will engage in learning about conflict resolution, and practice
using these skills.

Supplies: glass, ice cube, cotton string, salt, water

16 pieces of paper pieces for several groups
Conflict Resolution handout
Conflict Resolution power point

1. Motivator:
(Glass of water, ice cube, 12” string, salt) Sometimes we feel
like things are impossible. But there is always more than one
way to look at a problem and always a way to get help.

Show the class the string and the glass of water with the ice
cube floating in it. Ask them if they can remove the cube
using the string without lifting the glass. Have someone try
it. Now, carefully coil some of the string on the top of the ice
cube. Pour some salt on top of the string. Wait a minute,
and then lift the string carefully to see if it’s frozen to the ice
cube. If it is, lift the string and the cube will come with it.

How does the ice cube relate to how we feel sometimes?

What does the string represent? If at first this seemed
unsolvable, how did you feel when you figured out how to
retrieve the ice cube?

2. Handout—Conflict Resolution/power point

Define.
Conflict: opposition, a clash of opposing ideas, disagreement, fight or
battle, contention, hostility
Cause of conflict: opposing viewpoints or opinions, emotions, selfishness,
miscommunication or misunderstandings, assumptions
Paradigms: Example:
Suppose you wanted to arrive at specific location in central Chicago. A street map of the
city would be a great help to you in reaching your destination. But suppose you were given the
wrong map. Though a printing error, the map labeled “Chicago” was actually a map of Detroit.
Can you imagine the frustration, the ineffectiveness of trying to reach your destination?
You might work on your behavior—you could try harder, being more diligent, doubling
your speed. But your efforts would only succeed in getting you to the wrong place faster.
You might work on your attitude—you could think more positively. You still wouldn’t get
to the right place, but perhaps you wouldn’t care. Your attitude would be so positive, you’d be
happy wherever you were.
The point is, you’d still be lost. The fundamental problem has nothing to do with your
behavior or your attitude. It has everything to do with the wrong map.
Each of us has many, many maps in our head, which can be divided into two main
categories: maps of the way things are, or realities, and maps of the way things should be, or
values. We interpret everything we experience through these mental maps. We seldom
question their accuracy; we’re usually even unaware that we have them. We simply assume that
the way we see things is the way they really are or the way they should be. –7 Habits of Highly
Effective People, pg 23-24, by: Stephen R. Covey
Activity: Show illusion pictures. What does each person see. Discuss
how the pictures are what they are, but different people are seeing different
pictures. (1- spots or dalmation dog; 2- man or two people kissing; 3- pipe or a
woman; 4- rabbit or a duck?)

Strategies to Get Past Paradigms (Perceptions):

Avoid Assumptions
 Assume nothing—assumptions are often wrong. Ask questions
—it’s harder to be wrong if you asked first.
 Try to understand the other’s perspective before you try to get
him/her to understand yours.
 Consider alternative explanations for the other person’s
behavior besides what you initially believe.
Validation
 Allow the other person to have their experience and perception
of the situation.
 Do NOT get defensive.
 Validate what they are experiencing (do not necessarily agree
or disagree)
 Sometimes the thing that we think is the solution is actually the
problem.
Listen
 The goal is to understand, not to be right.
 Do not spend time preparing for what you are going to say
back.
 Restate—both to make sure you did understand and to help the
other person feel that you were listening.
Problem Solving Skills
 Keep the focus on the problem rather than the emotion that
results.
 Focus on one problem at a time—do not allow old issues to be
resurrected as a diversion.
 Brainstorm, select a potential solution, implement the solution,
and evaluate results.
Tell Your Story
 Do not be passive and avoid telling your side of things.
 Do not be overly aggressive and ramrod your story as the only way
it could be.
 Be assertive—get y our information out while working to find
solutions.
Strategies to Resolve Conflicts
 Assume you do not have all the answers.
 Ask questions to understand the other person(s).
 Be prepared to compromise or make a deal.
 Postpone. If tired, sick, hungry wait until you feel better.
 Enforce. If there are consequences to the behavior you should
follow through with them.
  Compromise. Be willing to give a little.
 Explore. Be willing to find other solutions that have not yet been
discussed.

3. Working Together: Use this activity to practice using conflict resolution

skills in completing the following activity.
(from Tom Jackson, Activities that Teach) On fifteen small pieces of paper,
(plus one blank piece of pieces) write the numbers 1-15 on each piece of paper.
The paper must be thick enough that you can’t see the numbers when looking at
the back of the papers. Divide your group into teams of 3.4. or 5. Give each
team a set of papers. Now have the teams shuffle the papers and place them
face down in the middle of the team. Now you are ready to begin.
Explain that the teams have 2-3 minutes to turn over the pieces of paper
one at a time and memorize the correct placement of the fifteen numbers, in
order. To accomplish this they may turn over only one piece of paper at a time
and must turn it back over before turning over another piece. There may never
be more than one number showing at a time. They may turn each piece of
paper over as many times as they wish. However, the paper must always be
placed back in the exact same position that it was when it was turned over
The goal is that at the end of the 2-3 minutes the team will be able to
turn over all 15 pieces of paper in the correct numerical order.
If you have more than one team, the challenge will be to not only turn
over correctly, but do so in the shortest amount of time. If you would like,
repeat the activity to see if they can do a better job the second time around.
Points to Discuss:
“What” questions
 How many numbers did you get correct?
 What strategy did your team use to meet the challenge?
 How successful did your strategy prove to be?
 What would you do differently if you were to try this activity again?
“So What” questions
 Did everyone on your team contribute? Why or why not?
 What happens in a group when someone does not contribute?
 How can you be sure that everyone on the team has a voice in helping find a
solution?
 How did your team decide on a strategy to use?
 What is meant by the phrase “Two heads are better than one”?
 What happens when conflict arises when making a team decision?
 What should you do if your team fails to solve the problem the first time they try
it?
 What roles does communication play when trying to solve a problem?
“Now What” questions
 What are the benefits of having more than one person working on a problem?
 How can you avoid conflict when making a group decision?
 What steps can be taken to give everyone a chance to be heard in the group?